Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction ❯ Dawning Down ❯ Shattered heart ( Chapter 5 )

Latitude
By Youko_karic

Part 5: Shattered Hearts

Kurama leaned his slender frame on Hiei's smaller but stronger form, then abruptly, the redhead straightened as the barrier completely disappeared. They had gotten back safely to the ningenkai. Hiei turned to him then.

"You're going to you're kaasan." It was a statement not a question to which Kurama nodded meekly with a smile.

"And I want you to come with me."

Hiei's eyes widened.

"What for?" The fire youkai growled.

Kurama drew him nearer and playfully tapped his button nose.

"Because I want you with me all the time, baka!"

Hiei snorted, but Kurama noted the flush creeping up on his face.

"Look, Hiei. I'm not forcing you to do anything you don't like. If you like, you can wait for me at my apartment." Kurama winked at him.

Hiei stared at him intensely before a wide grin transformed his face.

"Okay."

Kurama sighed and started walking towards the general direction of his kaasan's house. Hiei had disappeared, presumably to hide himself from human eyes. The redheaded youko swiped impatiently at his hair in an

unconsciously graceful movement. He stared down at his clothes and made a face. He should have thought of going back to his apartment first to change clothes, but when Hiei suggested that he went to his kaasan right away, he was most inclined to please his precious fire demon. He was about to knock on the door when it opened. The youko found himself staring right into Yusuke's wide brown eyes.

"Kurama!" Yusuke cried even as the youko's eyes widened.

Yusuke squeezed his hands before he looked behind him. Shiori was just noticing that he was at her front door.

"Shuuichi!"

Kurama looked up at his mother and offered a warm smile.

"Kaasan!"

Yusuke moved aside so that Kurama could get in, but he did not move very far so that the youko's body brushed against him. Kurama tried to control the heat that burned on his cheeks and kissed his human mother.

"Your friend, Yusuke was just explaining to me why you weren't at your apartment. Something about a research." She said vaguely.

"H-Hai kaasan." Kurama said slowly.

Shiori lovingly brushed at the silky red strands of his hair.

"Mom..." Kurama groaned. His mother still treated him like he was ten years old.

Shiori chuckled and pushed the youko inside the room and called to Yusuke.

"You better get back inside, young man."

Yusuke closed the door and went back inside the living room.

Kurama smiled briefly at him and turned back to his mother.

"I'm glad to be back, kaasan."

"And so am I." Shiori replied. "I'm going to prepare our lunch."

She disappeared into the kitchen before either Yusuke or Kurama could utter a word. Kurama swore darkly under his breath. Of all the bad timing! He felt Yusuke's grip on his left arm.

"How are you doing?" He was asked softly, like a lover.

Kurama swallowed hard.

"I'm fine, Yusuke. How about you?" He asked formally, mentally kicking himself for being so nervous.

Yusuke smiled at him, although a little puzzled at his aloof behavior.

"I'm coping." He stared hard into the emerald eyes.

Kurama turned his face away.

"Can I offer you anything? I'm sure you'd like a drink." The youko asked abruptly.

Yusuke squeezed his arm.

"Just your company."

Kurama stared speechlessly at him, wondering if it was the right time to tell Yusuke that he was definitely back with all his memories intact. Thankfully, Shiori called for him from the kitchen, giving him the opportunity to escape Yusuke.

Yusuke sat down on the sofa quietly, thinking about Kurama's strange behavior. A thought struck him, sending a chill coursing through the very marrow of his bones. What if Kurama and Hiei-No! It was impossible! Kurama would never cheat on him! And Hiei would never. He sighed. Kurama and Hiei are just friends. Period. He plastered a smile on his face when Kurama came back and handed him a soda.

******

Hiei stood stiffly on a tree near the Hatanaka household. Yusuke was inside the house. No doubt he came to see his fox. Jealousy and insecurity came rushing back full force inside of him. Scowling fiercely, he debated whether he

should make his presence known and finally meet Kurama's human mother or wait it out fuming silently, but he wanted to see for himself how Kurama would react to Yusuke's presence. He had to be sure once and for all

******

Kurama kissed his mother goodbye before he and Yusuke started walking side by side along the cobbled streets. The scenery was slowly darkening as the day prepared to retire. Kurama looked up into the trees and a tiny smile lit his face. Hiei was very near.

"Kurama."

"Hmm?" The youko turned to Yusuke.

He gasped in surprise when he was pulled in a warm embrace, Yusuke kissing him hard on the mouth. The youko disentangled quickly, darting nervous green eyes sideways.

"Kurama, what's wrong?" Yusuke asked in concern and growing frustration.

The redhead took a deep breath and spoke gravely.

"I've recovered, Yusuke. I have all my memories back."

Yusuke stared in shock at his serious face. Kurama steeled himself when Yusuke grasped his slender shoulders. He stiffened when he was enfolded in a fierce hug.

"Oh, Kurama! Thank the gods!"

Kurama's emerald eyes widened. This was not exactly how he expected Yusuke to react. He stared up worriedly, praying to Inari that Hiei was not seeing this little scene. He gently disentangled from Yusuke's possessive grasp. Yusuke finally withdrew his hold on the youko's shoulders and held his hands instead.

"Let's celebrate." He grinned widely at the wide-eyed redhead. He pulled the youko, but Kurama held back.

"Wait, Yusuke. There's something I need to tell you."

"You can tell me everything while we're eating."

Kurama shook his head firmly.

"No."

Yusuke finally stopped and frowned at him. He was about to ask Kurama what he meant when a squeaky voice rang out from the street.

"Yo! Urameshi, Kurama!"

Yusuke turned to face Kuwabara's broadly grinning face. Kurama sighed patiently. He wanted to tear his hair out in frustration at Kuwabara's bad timing.

"Kurama, you're back, finally. What have you been up to, huh?" Kuwabara asked teasingly, making the redhead blush.

"I'm perfectly fine now." He smiled gently at the orange-haired youth.

"His memories are back!" Yusuke said cheerily.

Kuwabara turned and slapped Kurama hard on the back. The redhead winced a little, but could not help himself from chuckling over Kuwabara's expression.

Kuwabara jumped up and down the street, oblivious to the funny stares shot at him by passersby.

"All right! Let's celebrate!" He said excitedly.

"So let's go, Kurama." Yusuke invited the reluctant youko.

Finally, Kurama relented.

"But I need to call Hiei first."

"What? The shrimp is here too?" Kuwabara asked in a false angry voice.

Kurama gave him a slow smile.

"He came with me."

Kuwabara struck his forehead.

"But of course you two went away together."

Kurama felt his cheeks redden yet again. He nodded in agreement to Kuwabara's statement.

"Then call him already." Yusuke said.

"I already did. I still need to convince him to come with us."

Yusuke raised an eyebrow.

"If you guys wait for us at the Yukimura ramen shop, we'll be there."

"I'm coming with you." Yusuke said suddenly.

Kurama inhaled sharply.

Kuwabara gave Yusuke a strange look.

"I think it would be better if I talk to Hiei alone. You know how he is."

Yusuke nodded slowly in acquiescence, staring hard at Kurama. The youko tried his best to project an innocent smile on his face and sighed in relief when Yusuke finally relented and left with Kuwabara.

"'Hn."

The redhead spun to face a darkly scowling Hiei.

"You're not thinking of going there are you?"

Kurama moved nearer to the fire youkai.

"You know we need to go."

"We?" Hiei asked flatly.

The youko blinked his eyes in astonishment at Hiei's sudden change of behavior. He swallowed the uneasiness at the back of his throat. He could feel the pain gnawing inside him at the youkai's words.

.

"I'm misunderstanding something here. I thought we were a 'we' back there in the makai?" He could not help the bitterness in his voice.

"Don't force words into my mouth." Hiei told him harshly.

Kurama froze. His face turned ashen before it turned as red as his hair.

Why was Hiei hurting him? Had he forgotten the sweet words they exchanged just hours before? How could he just dismiss the passionate love they made?

When the youko spoke again, his voice was cool and composed, belying the shattering of his heart into painful shreds.

"I'm sorry for bothering you." He turned on his heel, but stopped to turn and stare at Hiei. "Thank you for the warm nights."

Hiei glared at him, but Kurama quickly turned away, afraid that he might show too much and reveal too much. Not that he had anything left to reveal. He had bared his heart and soul to Hiei. He had tried his best and he had lost.

******

The fire demon watched him leave with bitter anguish inside his chest. He knew he was wrong for pushing the youko away like that, but for the very first time in his youkai like he was seeing the whole import of his involvement with Kurama, and he was scared as hell! He was afraid that he would not be able to control the mad pounding of his heart everytime the damn kitsune was near or abate bouts of fierce possessiveness and violent jealousy whenever Yusuke was around. Kurama made him feel all those weird things and they were destroying his armor.

He had seen Kurama's reluctance to casually dismiss Yusuke which meant that the half-demon meant something to him that just a casual fuck. Kurama led him to believe that he loved only the fire youkai then what of Yusuke? Hiei was beginning to tire of Kurama's sick games. He viciously ignored the voice inside his head that pointed out meekly that his jealously might just be the one reason why their relationship was not working. Growling to himself, Hiei flitted off to follow the youko.

******

Dusk had finally spread all over the city when Kurama made his way towards the ramen shop when he was suddenly pulled and pushed into a dark alley. The redhead opened his mouth to call his rose whip when it was crushed by a passionate kiss. The youko froze. He knew this kiss and the lips that were now claiming his. He pushed the hot body away from him.

"Yu-Yusuke!"

"Ah, kitsune. Have you forgotten? We used to fantasize just how good it would be if we do it in a dark alley." Yusuke murmured against the curve of slender neck. His hands were already busy under the shirt, moving his palm in a circular motion against erect nipples. He pressed even more tightly against the youko, letting his lover know just how starved he was.

"I need you." Yusuke whispered harshly, pulling Kurama's shirt off his slender chest and above his fiery head in a single move. He continued worshipping the erect tips of the youko's nipples.

Kurama sagged against the wall, totally caught by surprise, shocked at himself because he had a nagging feeling that he wanted this to happen. He firmly closed his eyes, biting his lips when Yusuke unzipped his pants, exposing his skin to the cold touch of the wind.

He gasped softly when his lover's familiar, warm, and expert mouth took him in. His mind registered the possessive way Yusuke embraced his hips and the lustful way his lips tightened about his shaft; that voracious mouth making him shudder not from the cold, but from the blazing inferno that transpired from his loins, traveling swiftly to his brain. And then he remembered-Hiei.

"Yu-Yusuke! N-No!" He was surprised that his voice was shaking. The slender hands pulled uselessly at Yusuke's hair.

Yusuke ignored his protest and sucked him harder, firmly holding him in place. He could feel the youko's pleasure building, reaching its pinnacle.

"N-No!" Kurama gasped, felt the intense heat and pleasure rising in his loins, and bit his lips until they bled. He swallowed his scream of ecstasy as he flooded Yusuke's mouth with his seed.

When his vision cleared, he found himself facing the wall. He turned his hazy vision to Yusuke who was unzipping his pants, pressing his hot erection against Kurama's crack. The youko once again stiffened, his already decelerating heartbeat beating furiously against his chest. Callous hands fisted his soft cock, caressing it back to life.

"Relax!" Yusuke murmured hoarsely. He slowly pried open the youko's soft buttocks and aimed for his butt crack.

Kurama moaned fucked Yusuke's cupping hand. He could not deny the fierce excitement that overtook his body when he felt the void inside him being filled with the hot impaling shaft. Fully sheathed, Yusuke stopped any movement and pressed closer to him.

"K-Kurama." He hissed and captured the redhead's mouth in a punishing kiss.

He slowly pulled out and slammed hard inside the slender body. His hips pumped rhythmically with Kurama wantonly meeting his every thrust.

Their panting sounds and the sliding movements of their sweat-slicked bodies echoed in the dark alley, but the couple engaged in the primitive dance did not seem to notice the danger of discovery. They were lost in their own private paradise.

Kurama's hips jerked and the youko pressed against the wall as orgasm took him. Yusuke's arms embraced his chest, rocking furiously against him, pounding his hips madly. He hissed softly when he felt himself floating, even as his essence filled the youko.

Yusuke breathed harshly, a deep sigh of satisfaction came out of his mouth. His left hand slid from Kurama's chest to palm his nipples and cupped the youko's wet cock..

"You're amazing, do you know that?" He asked the youko hoarsely.

Kurama was silent. He closed his eyes when his manhood once again hardened at Yusuke's touch. How could he feel like this when he knew he was in love with Hiei?

"I missed you so badly. I was really scared when you acted like you didn't know me." Yusuke confessed.

He bent down and started helping Kurama put his clothes back on. The youko was glad of the dim lights for his hands were shaking. He had betrayed Hiei again! Now he knew he did not deserve the fire demon's love. Hiei was right to reject him.

Yusuke arranged his clothes and waited until Kurama was done, before they both stepped out of the darkness and into the lighted streets. He glanced up at Kurama's sad face.

"Hey, are you okay?"

Kurama raised his head. Yusuke was startled to see a tear slid down the youko's cheek.

******

"Kurama? What-?"

Kurama swiftly wiped the tear away from his cheek.

Yusuke stared at him silently.

"I-I'm sorry. Maybe I was going too fast for you." Yusuke finally uttered

Kurama bent his head, frowning deeply.

Yusuke suddenly let out a harsh laugh. The youko stared at him in surprise.

"I'm sorry." Yusuke said again. " I was just jealous of Hiei." He admitted reluctantly.

Kurama's eyes widened. Had he guessed that he and Hiei were more than just friends?

"Damn it! I know you two are the best of friends, but I just can't get used to the idea."

Kurama took a deep shaky breath.

"H-Hiei was m-my lover before you." The redhead said in a rush and waited for Yusuke's reaction. He looked up to stare at Yusuke. The half-demon was very pale. Kurama forced himself to continue speaking. "We were already lovers before you and I-"

"H-How?" Yusuke asked harshly.

Kurama's face saddened.

"You see Yusuke, I wanted Hiei. I-I seduced him."

Yusuke reeled at the revelation, staring at Kurama like he'd never seen him before.

The youko met his look calmly.

"You-do you love him?" Yusuke asked in a strained voice.

The youko blushed and nodded his head slowly.

Yusuke shuddered at the pain that coursed through him.

"I-I didn't know." His voice was a ghost of a whisper.

"I never told you."

"Does he know-about us, I mean."

Kurama nodded again, his eyes becoming bleak.

"Damn!" Yusuke cursed under his breath and turned his back on the redhead.

Kurama watched the young man wrestle with his own chaotic thoughts.

"If I had known, I would never have-" Yusuke broke off and turned to face a startled Kurama.

"In the beginning it was just lust, but what I feel for you now, I think I-"

"Stop!" Kurama said roughly. His emerald eyes were pleading. "This is getting too complicated, even for me. Right now I don't want to be involved." The youko said firmly.

"With me?" Yusuke swallowed the painful lump in his throat.

"And Hiei." The youko whispered.

It was Yusuke's turn to be startled.

"But why?" He demanded.

Kurama just stared at him, refusing to say anything.

'Won't you at least tell me why?" Yusuke persisted.

"I can't." The youko shook his head. Then he smiled sadly at Yusuke. "I'm sorry, but this is best for us, Yusuke."

"How Kurama? How does this become right for us? We were so good together." Yusuke said in a wooden voice.

Kurama bit his lips.

"He's hurting you, isn't he?" Yusuke asked angrily.

Kurama shook his head, smiling bitterly.

"I'm the one hurting myself because I'm not sure what I want."

"I don't understand." Yusuke said in a huff, frustrated.

"I want you, my body knows you, but I want Hiei too." Kurama said softly.

Yusuke stared at him. Kurama bowed his head, turning to walk away.

"Goodnight Yusuke."

Yusuke glared and stood very close to him. He stared angrily into the wide emerald eyes.

"Walk away if you want. You're a coward Kurama. You think you can send me away by just saying its over? A lesser man would crumble, but not me, kitsune. I'm more than human after all."

Kurama gasped aloud when Yusuke grabbed him bodily and kissed him roughly and lingeringly. Yusuke stared hard at the youko before he turned and ran. Kurama stared after his fast disappearing back, reaching out a shaking hand to touch his tingling lips.

Oh Yusuke. If only I could teach my heart to forget Hiei.

******

Yusuke ran blindly. He wanted nothing more than to find Hiei and demand the truth. He knew Kurama had feelings for him or he would never have accepted his lovemaking. The only fly in the ointment was Hiei. He stopped and gasped for breath, wiping the sweat from his brow. He closed his yes and leaned against the wall. Just minutes ago, he was so happy and satisfied because Kurama was with him. And now the kitsune just broke his heart.

"And he doesn't even know what he's doing to me!" He shouted harshly, hands fisted angrily. He could not say that Kurama cheated on him, after all they became lovers because of the damn lust spell. Kurama's confession that he seduced Hiei blew him away. Why? Why Hiei? Hiei was an antisocial, violent, homicidal youkai who made it clear that he cared for nothing and no one.

The youko must really love him.

Yusuke sank down and covered his face with his hands. He knew he should not have gotten himself too involved with Kurama like Genkai had advised, but he was already attracted to the youko even before. It was so hard to resist him. How could he fight something he wanted so much?

"Do I love him?" Yusuke asked himself harshly. He couldn't know. He had never felt like this before, but he was sure that he desired the youko so much that a single thought of him sent his insides aching. He groaned and opened his yes, staring up into the dark night and feeling lonely all of the sudden. Finally, he got up and walked back the way he had come. He stopped in his tracks when he sensed a presence ahead of him. He stiffened when he recognized the ki signature.

"Hn. Moonlighting alone, Yusuke?"

"Hiei!"

******

The two locked gazes neither willing to break the seemingly eternal silence that followed, then Hiei spoke from amid the darkness. The sudden interruption sent a violent shiver down Yusuke's spine.

"Do you love him?"

Yusuke stared open-mouth at Hiei. The fire youkai stared back at him, deadly serious; mouth set in a grim line.

"I asked you a question." Hiei said quietly; and yet there was a tremor in his voice that awakened Yusuke from his stupor.

"I don't know, I-"

"Don't you dare tell me you don't know!"

"What do you know?" Yusuke replied harshly. "You can't demand an answer from me. What is it to you, Hiei?

In a flash, Yusuke caught the haunted look on Hiei's face before the latter stiffened in anger.

"Kurama's my lover and he's-"

'He's my lover too."

"And He-Is-Mine." Hiei continued firmly.

The two glared at each other again. The fire demon dared Yusuke to contradict his claim.

"He was mine, first." Hiei whispered in a chilling voice.

Yusuke could not say anything to this. Hiei was right. The brunet slumped against the shadowed alley. He knew when he was licked.

"You win, you know." He stared blankly into space; his brown eyes over bright with unshed tears. "You're right, Hiei. He was yours first." He stared down at his feet, feeling absolutely defeated. "I wanted him, but at that time he needed me."

"What are you talking about, Yusuke?"

'Don't you understand, Hiei? Kurama never loved me, he needed me."

Hiei felt his heart being torn. He inhaled sharply. He was not taking any more of this pain. He was leaving, for good.

"If he needs you and needs you that badly, then you deserve each other." He said flatly and turned to go.

This time, Yusuke was too fast for him. He grabbed the fire demon roughly and snarled.

"Listen to me you idiot. For once in your life forget about your pride! If you love him, then go to him!"

"What do you know about pride?" Hiei's eyes were positively burning with angry fire. You don't know what it feels

like to be betrayed, Yusuke, betrayed and used." He spat. "But you know what is the worst thing? The worst thing is falling in love with a traitor, who doesn't love you back."

"You think Kurama betrayed you?" Yusuke almost shouted.

Hiei was trembling; his body temperature started to rise erratically, but Yusuke tightened his hold on Hiei.

"He loves you, can't you see? He loves you from the very start."

A rising hope was bubbling inside Hiei, but that greater part of him did not want to believe so soon. No. It was impossible. Hope could bring you pain. His ruby eyes narrowed at Yusuke.

"So he fucked you!"

"No! I did that to him." Yusuke bit his lip and stopped. Hiei was looking ready to kill him. "I had to, Hiei. We had to. The lust spell-"

"The what?"

Yusuke looked at him quickly, marveling at the youkai's sudden paleness.

The lust spell, you know. That's when all of this started."

"What did you say?"

"The lust spell?" Yusuke stared stupidly back at Hiei's widening eyes. 'Wait a minute, you-you didn't know?" He stared open-mouthed at the very pale fire demon.

"Tell me everything." Hiei gritted his teeth with determination.

******

Genkai stared impassively at the grim-faced Yusuke.

"Baasan, why didn't you tell him?" Yusuke asked accusingly.

Hiei was staring outside the window, saying nothing. He had remained silent after Yusuke's revelation about the lust spell.

"He didn't ask." Genkai replied with raised eyebrows.

"Because he didn't know!" Yusuke protested angrily and glanced worriedly at the silent fire demon.

"Boy, I am not here baby sit any of you and I know one thing, to love means to trust." She directed her wizened eyes at the

fire youkai. "Hiei, if you love Kurama, you must learn to trust him. Things will never work between the two of you if you continue with this attitude."

Hiei shot her a glare, but then he turned his eyes away. Genkai was right of course. He was a fool.

Genkai now turned an icy stare at Yusuke.

"I did tell you not to get too involved with Kurama in the first place. You helped him and that was enough. Now I leave the both of you to settle the mess you have made for yourselves."

There was an intense silence before Genkai spoke again to Hiei.

"Kurama is Kurama. He knows what he wants. All that remains is for you to know what you really want."

With a nod at Yusuke, Genkai left the room. Yusuke cleared his throat.

"This is all my fault, I don't even know how to make it all up to you." He whispered in a pained voice.

Hiei got up and turned his blank gaze at Yusuke.

"No, it's my fault, the old woman was right. I never trusted him, not anyone, not even myself."

Yusuke stared sadly at the fire demon. He looked like a lost child, defenseless, and shattered. He frowned heavily, angry at everything, and yet there was hope in his heart, hope for things to get better. Yusuke was nothing if not a fighter, and his heart ached for battle, but this time it was not a battle for himself, but for Hiei and Kurama. He could do that. He wanted Kurama happy.

"It's not too late, Hiei. Kurama l-loves you."

Hiei stared at him. They shared a profound look. Yusuke smiled wanly.

"If you love him enough-"

"I love him." Hiei muttered roughly with conviction.

Yusuke turned his face away.

"Go to him."

Hiei was silent. When Yusuke looked up, he was already gone.

A single tear , followed by another and another and Yusuke finally realized just what he felt and his heart shattered.

To be concluded…