Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction ❯ Domesticated?! ❯ NO WAY! ( Chapter 1 )

Millie: New idea. This is purely for your enjoyment. There will only be minor seriousness taken into account in this one.

Black: Don't you always only come up with comedies?

Millie: I CAN COME UP WITH DEPRESSING THINGS!! >_<

Black: -____-;;;; I never said you couldn't but between you and me, you are comedy.

Millie: *glares.*

Yusuke: Hope you enjoy. *shrug*

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“WHAT?! THAT'S STUPID!! I will not do it!” Hiei shouted throughout the baby prince's office, shaking the oversized chair he sat in.

“This is your next mission, I am sorry but you have to abide by what we set before you.” Koenma replied in a somewhat calm manner. The detective, the fox, the twit and the fire youkai were all standing in his office looking up at the screen of two girls.

“The only one you need to absolutely look out for is the red head, Sarah.” He informed. She had long, naturally red hair that swung down to the middle of her back. Her smile was bright and her blue/green eyes showed a sense of delightful spirit as she looked at her friend. She wore jeans and a stylish short sleeve shirt that went to the middle of her thigh.

“If it's only her we need to look after then why didn't you just get a picture of her?” Yusuke asked as he glanced at the other girl standing next to her. She had short brunette hair that only went to the middle of her neck with straight across bangs. Her black artist glasses covered her hazel eyes and she seemed to be laughing as well. She was not as fashion sensible as Sarah and wore jeans with a black `Pink Floyd' t-shirt.

“That is her friend; they always hang out together so it was hard not to have her there. Also…she may seem preppy and always happy but…this was a hard picture to get of her even remotely showing emotion so…be glad.” He answered him. Kuwabara gazed at the two lovely ladies before him with hearts in his eyes.

“I will cherish them as my own! THEY SHALL MARRY ME FOR I AM KUWABARA, DEFENDER OF LO- GAAH!” He was cut off when Hiei jammed his hand into his face for him to shut up.

“Back to what we have to do! I will NOT be taking that stupid concoction and go under cover as an animal to watch over her sorry ass!” He growled. That was what Koenma was ordering. All things considered with Sarah's family being so smitten with animals it only seemed right to have them go under cover that way instead of any other. To Sarah, the team was an anime show, nothing real and they, well Koenma, feared that if they just showed up at her door unannounced she would have a mental break.

“I understand why we have to do this but…does she not already have pets to tend to?” Kurama asked. He, Kuwabara, and Yusuke had no problem with it though it would take getting used to.

“Yes but we can replace you with the animals she already has, they will be safe in our care of course while you protect her.” The toddler answered, quite enjoying this mission.

“Well who's the other girl if she's going to be around most of the time?” Yusuke asked. He turned his swivel chair to look back up at the screen.

“Oh, that is Melissa. She tends to stay with them a lot.”

He nodded as he stuffed his hands into his pockets.

“Alright, sounds interesting. When do we start?”

Hiei was just stricken with maddening anger. This wasn't right. He was a demon! A ruthless, murdering, demon! Not someone's stupid little house pet. Koenma's idiotic plan was demeaning and moronic, no sense of realism at all. Did he actually expect Hiei Jaganshi to participate?

“Right now actually.” Koenma answered. Hiei's mouth dropped open at this, glaring at the little one in front of him. Kurama was welcome to the idea, it was logical being as Sarah was a fan of a show they were in and also, he missed being a four legged creature like when he was Yoko.

“Yusuke, you will be their dog Simon. Kurama, you will be their cat Tiger. Kuwabara you will be their cat Romeo and Hiei will be their cat Friday.”

“The hell I will!!!” He snapped.

“Hiei, please, arguing will not make your sentence to help the spirit world any shorter so I suggest you just go along with it.” The spirit fox was always right. Damn him for being so knowledgeable. Hiei growled and turned to the cart that had been rolled in only moments ago with many vials filled with different colored potions.

“Stupid animals…I hate cats…what kind of name is Friday anyway?” He mumbled incoherent things under his breath as he lifted one up with his name on it from its original place setting.

“So how long will this stuff last?” Yusuke said.

“About a month at which time we will come back when she is out of the house to give you more.” Kuwabara just continued to look in a daze at the picture.

“Beeeaaaauutiiiifuuuuul!” He grinned from ear to ear.

“Wait! Before you take anything I should tell you why you are going to be watching for her.” Koenma slapped his hand to his forehead as he had almost forgotten.

“Are you serious?...Wow Koenma, you must really be feeling ill if you are forgetting such a thing.” Yusuke shook his head. The toddler wasn't much of a good spirit prince to him. More like he was something to laugh at, so small and always sucking on that stupid pacifier. Was he ever going to get over the teething stage?

“Yes..I-…I do feel a little sick.” He fell back into his chair with his limbs spread out off the sides of it.

“Well go on; don't keep us waiting all damn day.” Yusuke's kind and patient attitude was slipping. He just wanted some rest already. Five missions in only two weeks with many battles to fight had him wiped out.

“We have learned that she is a fire apparition much like Hiei only she is a fox demon along with it. She can conjure the Fox of the Darkness Flame if she were to harness her power.” He began to inform.

“Hn. And we care why?!” Hiei was getting restless and severely annoyed.

“If you would stop being so impatient Mr. Smartass, maybe he could tell you.” Yusuke rolled his eyes.

“Because if we don't watch out for her then she could accidentally use that power if she gets angry enough and possibly kill herself in the process.” He finished. Kuwabara heard none of this, not like it really matter though. He wasn't much of an asset to the team except to be Yusuke's friend. Kurama nodded in total understanding.

“Ah, I see.” He stated. Yusuke was getting bored easily.

“So can we get on with this? I could use a cat nap.” He tried to be clever.

“I told you already, you are going to be a dog! Does anyone listen to me anymore?” Koenma sighed. “Take your potions and we will lead you to her house.” He added.

Kurama walked over to the cart and pulled up a glass vial of a red substance and downed it in an instant. His stomach churned and in a few seconds a cloud of smoke appeared as he turned into a little orange cat with a bent tail.

“Haha, look at that, Kurama's a cute little kitten!!” Kuwabara called out, running to him and petting him around the ears. You could hear him purring as he flopped over onto his side. He loved being an animal. It reminded him of the old days back in the Makai as a fox. Hiei growled and took his black potion, forming rapidly into a black, masculine cat. His whiskers were semi long and he looked part Panther.

“AWE! NOW SHORTY IS A CAT!!” The orange haired dimwit ran over to him, his hand mere inches away from Hiei's little head when his claws extended and he snapped at him. Hiei hated this. Four legs, weird ears and a tail did not a Hiei form make. Kuwabara quickly jumped away.

“Dang Hiei, you could be a little nicer!” He called, holding his wounded fingers.

“Would you just take your potion, stupid?!” Yusuke called. Kuwabara was about to snap back and start a fight but he wanted to be the bigger man.

“Fine!” He replied. His potion was a murky green, not appetizing in the least. Bringing his lips closer to the edge of his glass he almost puked.

“This is GROSS!” He called back.

“WOULD YOU JUST TAKE IT ALREADY?!” Yusuke had enough of this. He just shot the detective a glare and pinched his nose closed to not get the full taste of it and drank the whole thing. Kuwabara looked around the room with a questioning expression on his face.

“I don't feel any differe-“ At that he turned into an adorable little kitten; white with small patches of black and orange all over his body.

“I'M SO ADORABLE!!!” He called in a meow. Yusuke just started to laugh at his comrades. They were all animals and he was the big one of the bunch.

“HAHAHA!! I guess it's my turn. Bottoms up.” He stated and gulped down his brown potion. His stomach did a flip and he flopped to the ground.

“Gah! This doesn't feel so good.” He stated and turned into a brown Akita mix with a black snout. A small bump adorned his head and his eyes remained their chestnut coloring. His massive paws stood under him as he got back up.

“I'm a dog! Haha. Awesome! I can beat you guys up in an instant.” He barked. The others, being animals as well understood what he was saying. Hiei was ready to scratch his eyes out.

“THIS IS RIDICULOUS!” He mewed loudly, his eyes widening at the high pitched sound that erupted from his throat.

“Are you kidding me with this?! I have this cat call?” He was now filled with malice for the stupid prince. He quickly jumped up and swat his little paw at the toddler.

“Hiei, calm down now.” Koenma began to crack up laughing at his recruited Spirit Team. There they all sat on the floor with four paws each and cute little ears. Yusuke was shaking his tail, amazed at his new body.

“I look gooood. SUPER DOG! Hahaha!” He gloated as the others were mere cats.

Koenma snapped his fingers and soon enough Botan was there to greet them with her oar at her side.

“You called, Sir?” She questioned.

“Yes, I would like you to lead these ones to Sarah Mack's house immediately before the family gets home from dinner.” He informed her and leaned back in his chair once more for a little rest.

“Right away, Sir.” She replied in her British accent and strode over to the door to wait for the rest.

“Oh, before you all go, don't forget to act like their pets.” He added, mainly to Hiei. At that, they were off down the hall ready to leave though Kuwabara was having a little bit of trouble with his walking.

“Come on Kuwabara, it's not that hard.” Yusuke barked at him.

“It's harder than it looks, okay?! I wasn't born with these legs.” He mewed back, stumbling. Hiei and Kurama were already used to it and soon enough they were back at the girl's house.

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“Here we are, home sweet home.” Sarah sighed in annoyance. She hated going out to dinner, one of the worst things ever unless they were going to San Antonio Sam's but unfortunately, that was not the pick of the evening.

“Where's my Friday?” She questioned as the rest of her family settled into the kitchen to put their doggy bags into the fridge. Hiei walked into the living room to take a good look at where they were to be staying. Only a few hours prior had they arrived at her house and he wasn't done investigating.

“Hn…she doesn't look like the bright peppy girl that was in the picture.” He mewed aloud to himself. Yusuke in his Simon form walked up next to him and barked at random.

“Well Koenma did say that it was a lucky snapshot.” He wanted to shrug his shoulders but he couldn't.

“Well…what do you want to do now that we are here?” Kuwabara asked in a meow.

“What are you all talking about huh?” Sarah came up and kneeled next to the bunch. “You guys talking to each other?” She baby talked them like they weren't secretly demons and pet Simon's/Yusuke's head. He liked this attention very much.

“I think she's onto us.” Hiei stated, not accustomed to the ways of how humans talked to their pets.

“Hiei, I assure you, she has no idea that we are not who we are portraying.” Kurama replied with a smirk on his face though no one knew being as he was a cat now.

“Uh! My fuzzleubblekins!!!” She called, scaring Hiei slightly, making him jump. The cutest, chow-lab mix came bounding into the room to jump onto Sarah's shoulders. He was jet black all over with a burst of white, naturally crimped tail. He was the only animal in the house without a secret identity.

“I was not informed of this animal!” Hiei was confused and bothered as he always was now-a-days.

“My baby! My Rudy!” She called as he she pet him, his tail wagging furiously. The dog she was giving all of her attention to was spazzing out as he was loving the scratches around his ear. Yusuke randomly barked at the two, wanting some attention.

“I'm cute too!” He spat. Kurama just rolled his cat eyes and ran away from the scene. He wanted some sleep and decided to get on the dining room table.

“Sarah!” Her mother called from the kitchen.

“Yeah, Ma?!” She shouted back, irritated by the sound of her voice already.

“Come here, we want to talk to you about tomorrow.” The woman answered with her husband making loud dying noises as he tried to clear his throat; something he did quite often. She stood up in front of the animals as they had all surrounded her causing her to wonder what was going on and hopped over them to the little room.

“Yeah?” She questioned.

“So is Melissa coming over?” Her step father asked. He was a big man with a buzz cut and dirty jeans. They were having dessert.

“Yeah.” She replied. Her mother nodded her head with a small smile.

“Of course Holes can come, Bill. She's always here anyway.”

“Holes…haha.” Sarah started to laugh some at the fact that her friend actually responded to the name her mother had graced her with when she was in their house.

“Holes?” Hiei mewed, standing on the island in the middle of the room. He was greatly confused. The rest of the night was filled with weird information about the girl they were being forced to watch over and her family such as her mother worked at a psychiatric hospital and her step-dad worked on a tugboat for days at a time. Sarah also was a writer who seemed to write fan-fiction stories about Yu Yu Hakusho as well as original stories. The night grew late and the adults had long been in bed when Sarah sat at the computer desk in the back office with a Microsoft Word page up on the screen and a notebook to her left. An instant message box was in the corner as Melissa talked about how adorable her cat Retard was. Apparently everyone they were `meeting' on this mission loved and had an animal. Hiei sat to her right just staring at the words she was typing.

~Hn…she types really fast…~ He thought and then mewed in wonderment as he sat there. She turned her head to face him to see her sexy beast in all his Panther glory.

“Awe!...My Masculine Beast of Sexy just spoke.” She adorned him with many compliments and hell, he was starting to warm up to her just fine until she started to pet him.

“I'm not an animal!...stop petting me. Why won't she listen!...Stop pett-“ He ceased in his rant as her fingers started to scratch right behind his ear. He fell for it and flopped to the side, purring. The rest of the night they sat together in the office with him purring and her writing her stories that were miraculously not about him or Yu Yu Hakusho. Tonight she decided to write two of her originals. She yawned and kissed Hiei on the head before turning out the light, he just glared at her as she left and she turned the corner. The house was silent as all fell asleep in the dead of night.

The next morning no one of the Spirit team had woken up until the late afternoon of around 2PM. They had stayed up late talking about what the girl would be like on a regular basis, what they could learn from her if anything (that thought being Kurama's), and what this Melissa girl would be like. Hiei, seeing as he could still read in cat form, didn't like her already based off of what she would write to Sarah on AIM.

“She's stupid and annoying.” He began. Kurama, Kuwabara and him were all sitting on the dining room table once more conversing though Hiei would completely ignore Kuwabara and listen only to Kurama. Yusuke was too big to get on the table and was forced to sit on the floor with Rudy like the dog he was, now figuratively and physically. Just as they were all mewing and barking random things, there was a knock at the door. Sarah obviously hadn't heard it being busy with listening to her Ipod so the person just walked in, figuring that was the reason. She looked just like the girl in the picture next to Sarah and they all pondered on who she was.

“She looks like that Melissa girl.” Yusuke barked, catching her by surprise.

“What is this, the council meeting of domesticated animals?” She questioned with a smile, walking over to `Simon' to pet him on the head. Hiei glowered down at her for calling him such a thing.

“If I were in my regular form I would have her on the ground bleeding to death already!” He snapped. Kurama sighed.

“Remember, none of them know.” He stated.

“Yeah, right there…behind the ears…” Yusuke loved this attention.

“Awwwwe, you're so cute!” She called. Today she wore jeans and a black `Rent' t-shirt.

“So you think you can just walk into my house now?” Sarah asked with a small smirk as she stood in the doorway to the kitchen. She shook her head and stood up, stopping in stroking `Simon's' head.

“Shutup, are we going to the movies or have you not asked your mom yet?” Melissa asked as she walked over to the steps to take her things upstairs.

“We're going at 4 but it's only two now and you said you would write that chapter for me that we thought about the last time you were here.” She answered. She rolled her eyes and rushed her things upstairs, taking her shoes off in the process. This was the routine she would always go through when entering Sarah's home. All the cats quickly fled but one; Hiei stayed to glare at Sarah for no real reason in particular. He just hated being cooped up in the house. Melissa came back down with a smile and walked passed Sarah to go to the office.

“You mean the one where Hiei cries?” She asked. He heard his name being called and jumped up to follow.

“Why am I crying!??!” He snapped in a mew, them not understanding what they were saying since they were humans; or so they thought. Yusuke ran along with them and ate some dog food, closing his eyes to think of something other than the taste.

“Ugh! I need to beg for regular food more often.” He barked, shaking his big ol' head.

“Yes, the one where he cries. It's so SAD!”

“Well it is all your fault.” Melissa added with a small laugh, knowing she would get a rise out of her. Sarah's mouth dropped open and she made a weird noise to show that was indeed unpleased.

“It is not…MEAN!!! HATER!!” She shouted, making her friend roll her eyes.

“Well it is…whatever. I should start writing. I have a sentence I have already thought of for it.” She replied. The red head sat in the chair behind Melissa and waited for her to start her writing.

“Haha, I think it's so funny that you start most of your ideas for stories based off of one really good sentence that you think of.” Laughing, she grabbed another notebook of hers that she had filled weeks before to read over.

“…they are good sentences, you have to admit it.” Was all she responded with in a matter-of-fact tone.

“Yeah yeah, whatever. Just start writing already.” She was such a slave driver and Hiei was bothered by the fact that they had been talking about him crying.

“Should I have him die in the end?” Melissa asked. Sarah's eyes widened and she slammed the open notebook onto the tabletop of the desk.

“I swear if you do, I will be emo and cut myself.” She pretended like she was seriously, emotionally hurt by what the brunette had said. Hiei jumped up onto Sarah's lap and glared at Melissa, meowing like there was no tomorrow.

“I swear I should scratch your eyes out!” He spat. Yusuke just barked, getting Melissa's attention. She got distracted pretty easily.

“Sarah….stop it, I won't kill him.” She rolled her eyes with a sigh. It would make the whole story so much sadder but to her it was already depressing enough. A few hours passed and all you could hear was the pounding of computer keys as Melissa wrote her chapter. Sarah sat with `Friday' in her lap, scratching the back of his ears. The only reason Hiei was still there was for that. It just felt so relaxing.

“So are you moving out next week?” The sound of Melissa's voice was quite alarming to Hiei, making Sarah stop and look up from her notebook.

“Yeah and you should start packing too. You have to help pay rent you know.” She eyed her closely, making sure she was taking this all seriously.

“Dude, I know that. We already talked about that. I'm not going to be the friend that will screw you over, we've been friends forever. You should know me better than that.” She replied. Sarah just shrugged. Of course she knew her better than that; she was just making sure everything was going as planned. They were going to be entering the real world and wanted to be as prepared as possible though it was only senior year of High school but their parents wanted them to get a taste of what it was like before they went off to college.

“Ah, I take it they are moving.” Kurama began as he rest with Yusuke on the floor behind them.

“If they are moving, then how are we going to keep looking out for them?” the detective questioned.

“We're taking Tiger, Rudy, Simon, Romeo, and Friday with us, right?” Melissa asked yet another question.

“Yes, Melissa.” Sarah sighed. She did ask too many questions for her own good.

“Looks like we're moving guys.” Yusuke barked to the others. Thus was the beginning of their mission.

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Millie: I know, I know. It's not as funny as all of my other stuff but I SWEAR it will get funnier, just give it a chance.

Black: Uhhhh-huh.

Millie: >_>…>_< Just think of Hiei as a cat playing with a ball of yarn! IT'S HILARIOUS! Just…just wait.

Hiei: >_<

Yusuke: Hope you liked it! R&R!