Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction ❯ Enma's Torment Theatre ❯ Blind Faith ( Chapter 11 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Enma’s Torment Theatre
Episode Eleven: Blind Faith/ Happy Halloween!
Story: Half-Breed’s Curse (Chapter Two)
Story By: Rose Thorne
Msted by: Chrissy (with help from Rose. She won’t mst her own fics with me. I’m all alone… *sniff*)



- Satellite -


Bright and early the next day their work began. Kurama had found some tools in a broom closet, along with a crowbar, which were given to Yuusuke and Koenma. If Rando wondered why the day started so quiet and ended so noisily, he never asked.

It was Kuwabara who would give the signal. In the kitchen, he gathered as many pots and pans together as he could. Kurama told him not to worry about breaking anything and whatever he did; stopping was out of the question. Until Rando got suspicious and beeped them, of course. He sat everything out on the counter and took a deep breath. Finding his calm, he grabbed the first pot and threw it at a wall. Crash after crash followed.

Kurama and Hiei ran to the control board and began to unscrew the panel. Yuusuke and Koenma raced past them to the passageway beyond the one which contained their bedrooms. The locked doors along this mysterious, darkened hallway had no sort of handle or panel to open them with.

“Kurama said they might just be storage containers,” Koenma whispered. The sound from the kitchen was somewhat dimmed here, but hopefully their voices wouldn’t be picked up. “They really don’t seem to serve any other purpose.”

Yuusuke hefted the crowbar and wedged it in the door. “Or maybe that’s what Randy wants us to think. Help pull.”

Of course, this brought their bodies close together, which Yuusuke largely ignored for a number of reasons, most of them subconscious.

Koenma, on the other hand, wasn’t, but chose not to say anything for fear of how his Reikai Tantei would react. He was deathly afraid of Yuusuke running away…

… The door gave way with a sudden bang that neither of them saw coming. Yuusuke lost his balance, smashed into the godling who fell in turn, and sent them both to the ground. The crowbar landed him in the ribs.

“Ow!”

Without thinking, since the rules clearly state that lapses are allowed if the object of one’s desires suddenly lands on one, Koenma put his arms securely around the body on top of him. “Yuusuke?!” he asked, concerned.

The young man moaned in pain, clutching his side. Then, he laughed at himself. “That was stupid.”

“You’ve done worse,” Koenma placated.

“Yeah.” Yuusuke seemed to come to himself and realize what his current position was. He sat up slowly, careful about his side, and lifted up his tank top to get a look at it. The area was red.

“You’re going to get a bruise,” the godling said, trying not to stare outright at that lean body he’d held scant seconds before.

Yuusuke snorted. “You mean *another* one.” Koenma laughed slightly at that.

“Are you alright?”

Tentatively, the half-demon touched his side. He winced somewhat. “I’ll live. My ribs aren’t broken.” He pulled his shirt down and looked just in time to see Koenma’s eyes flash to another direction. Those hazel eyes widened.

“Look,” Koenma directed, pointing at the room they’d opened up. Inside it was darker than the hallway, but they could see a small closet space lined with shelves. On those shelves were dolls. Plain, wooden dolls, with no faces or other distinguishing features.

Yuusuke rose slowly, with barely acknowledged help from his friend, and found a light switch. They both stared at the dolls for a few moments, speechless.

“There’s a joke in this somewhere, I just can’t find it,” Yuusuke murmured, eyes round with amazement.

“Pinocchio,” Koenma said, just as softly.

“Puppet Master.”

“Not really, those puppets are marketed for their individuality. These are all the same.”

“Right.” Yuusuke looked at the taller man. “Did you like Puppet Master?” There was nothing in his voice other than plain curiosity.

Koenma sucked on his pacifier in thought. “The first one, yes. The rest of them get the timeline incorrect from the original film.”

“Yeah. The guy commits suicide in 1939 and in the third one he’s alive in 1941. But the second one takes place fifty years after the first one, has nothing to do with three, and it’s not so bad. The effects are appalling though.”

The godling nodded. “That’s why I said the first one.” He walked into the room and picked up one of the dolls, looking at its bottom end. There was a label. “‘Made in Taiwan.’”

Yuusuke suddenly slapped his fist into the palm of his other hand. “That’s it! Spaceballs!”

Koenma blinked and looked back at his companion. “What?”

“When Dark Helmet was playing with the action figures,” Yuusuke said excitedly.

Koenma nearly busted a gut laughing. “You think Rando plays with these…?”

Yuusuke nodded and they both nearly collapsed in their amusement.

- Laboratory. -

Giaki was fast asleep on the console, curled up in between the ears of a headset much bigger than him. Suddenly, noise erupted from the headphones and he was jolted away, rudely. He screamed.

Rando peeked his head through the doorway of the restroom, a toothbrush in his mouth. “Wash’ tha’?” he asked inelegantly.

Giaki moved a good foot away from the source of the racket. “I don’t know, Rando-sama-sir!”

Rando spit into the sink in front of him. “Well find out, you useless little termite! Do you have the new fic ready for today?”

“Yes, sir,” Giaki answered, glancing at the stack of papers nearby to make sure it was the correct one. He hesitantly approached the headset and listened closely to what was going on.

“Well?” His redhead master asked impatiently.

“Um… Someone’s throwing metal objects around, making a lot of racket. Hiei and Kurama are flirting, but I can’t tell what they’re saying. Yuusuke and Koenma’s voices are even fainter.”


Rando frowned. “Well, it can’t be those four making the noise then. Maybe the idiot’s practicing or something.” He finished and entered the laboratory completely, walking over to where Giaki sat. He pressed a small button there. “They’re all awake so we might as well begin their torture.”

Giaki snickered like the true evil assistant that he was.

- Satellite -

Pressed together in the cramped space underneath the Satellite’s console, Hiei held up a flashlight for Kurama to see by.

“A lot of these wires are cut,” the redhead murmured almost to himself. “And all these other parts remind me of the inside of a computer.”

Hiei seemed to be bored, waiting for the other’s analysis. “Can you fix it?”

“There’s so many of them. I have no idea where to start.” Kurama crawled further into the space, sliding along the fire demon’s smaller frame. “But you know how much I love a mystery. I think I could figure it all out, given the appropriate amount of time.”

Hiei smiled slightly and laid his hand on Kurama’s lower back, openly admiring the Youko’s lithe body. He did not doubt the thief’s skill at figuring out puzzles, locked safes, and whatnot. Far from it. He admired his lover’s talents openly. *That* thought once taken out of context brought a broader smile to his face and he began moving his hand in slow circles.

“Hiei.” That soft voice was strained. “Not now, dear one.”

“How can you think if you’re so tense?” The messaging slowly moved up his back, to a spot in between the redhead’s shoulder blades.

Kurama moaned appreciatively. “Insatiable. That’s what you are.”

“And here it was ‘dear one’ just a moment ago.”

The Youko laughed. “Always ‘dear one.’” He turned over and took Hiei’s hand in his, giving it a chaste kiss. “Never doubt it.”

Hiei shook his head, smiling back faintly. “I don’t.”

“Good.”

“Do you hear that?” Hiei’s demeanor suddenly became serious again.

“What?”

“Isn’t that…?”

… an almost distant beeping sound.

“Oh shit,” they both said, scrambling out from under the control board. They slapped the covering back over the entrance and looked at the console. Sure enough, the large button was blinking.

“Guys!” Kurama called. Kuwabara stopped throwing things around in the kitchen.

“We have sod sign,” Hiei added softly. The orange-haired young man walked in and the fire demon spared him a nod.

They waited for Yuusuke and Koenma a few more seconds, but were actually afraid of how Rando was reacting to them not answering right away, so Kurama pressed the button and prayed to Inari silently. The screen lifted down, covering the view screen looking out over the stars, and revealed Rando, Giaki sitting near his elbow.

Rando’s smirk faltered. “Damn it! Where are those two idiots now? Don’t tell me they’re off snogging somewhere.”

Oh. So he didn’t know about their escape attempts yet. *Perhaps Kurama had assumed correctly about the monitoring,* Hiei thought. *That or we didn’t say anything truly incriminating so the sod can’t figure out what we were doing.*

“Not yet, Yuusuke’s still a prude,” Kuwabara said.

“I swear, do you people think that satellite’s a brothel?” Rando continued.

Kurama smirked broadly, that almost insane, mischievous gleam in his eyes.

“Never mind, I don’t want to know,” the Youkai quickly said.

“Stop bitching, we’re right here,” said a familiar voice behind them. They whirled as one to see Yuusuke, Koenma beside him and supporting him by the elbow. Neither looked at them or Rando; in fact, they kept walking, on their way to the kitchen.

“What the hell happened?” Hiei demanded, looking a little concerned. Well, Yuusuke didn’t feel like he was approaching death, so whatever it was wasn’t worth a fuss.

“Accident in the holocabana,” Koenma threw over his shoulder. Well, it was plausible. They’d come from that direction. Then, the two disappeared into the kitchen.

“I can walk, Koenma, I don’t need help,” they could hear Yuusuke complain half-heartedly.

“Let me get some ice.”

“It’s not that bad…”

That reminded Kurama of something and he turned back to Rando.

“We’re almost out of food again,” he reminded.

Rando waved a hand. “Fine, your stock will be refilled while you’re in the theatre.” Their expressions must have visibly fallen because the Youkai smirked again. “What? Surely you didn’t think this was a pleasure call?”

“No,” Hiei griped, “I wouldn’t talk dirty to you even if you paid me.”

Rando just stared at him, not getting the joke. Kuwabara blanched.

Kurama raised an elegant eyebrow. “‘…even if you paid me?’”

The fire demon blushed slightly. “Something I heard Yuusuke say.”

“Ah.” Kurama sighed, casting a furtive eye at the kitchen. “He really is a bad influence.”

Hiei nodded and went to check on their fearless leader.

“Today,” said Rando, chest puffing out, “your torture will be sweet!”

“Damn,” muttered Kuwabara, “here I was hoping for sour.”

“We never get what we want,” Kurama told him.

Hiei re-entered the room as silently as he’d left. “He’ll live. Though I think Koenma enjoys coddling him.”

Kurama smiled at that. “They’re so cute.”

Rando sighed irritably. “So you lot keep saying. Personally, I don’t see it.”

“Because you’re a sod and you have no taste!” Surprisingly enough, this was from Yuusuke. He held a plastic bag full of ice to his ribs.

“That,” Rando spat, “coming from an empty-headed ningen who enjoys horror movies!”

Koenma made a sound that came close to growling. “You should talk, you washed-up, insufferable git! My father has picked out fics that were much worse than yours!” He noticed Yuusuke, who was looking at him bemusedly. “Except for ‘Queer Eye for the Strait Demon,’ that was pretty awful.”

Kurama moaned softly in pain at the particular fan fiction the Reikai Heir was referring to. Rando chuckled at his reaction and Hiei growled, which was more on the mark than Koenma’s had been. His voice being much deeper and all.

“Oh, enough!” The redheaded Youkai shouted, exasperated. “Just get into the theatre. Now!”

The five tormented souls slunk into the darkened room, the projector light already on.

- Theatre -

[Sitting from left to right: Kuwabara, Koenma, Yuusuke, Hiei, and Kurama]

Yuusuke: Walk into the light… Walk into -
Kuwa: Hey, I think its Halloween in a few days!
Koenma: Joy. Don’t tell me we’re dressing up.
Kuwa: [smirks] Okay, I won’t.
Hiei: And Yuusuke was talking about watching the horror movies on TV.
Yuusuke: AMC is showing flicks all week long. I’ve seen Halloween and Alien Resurrection before so I’m not going to bitch. What I *really* wanted to see, though, was Clive Barker hosting on Friday night.
Kurama: Clive Barker?
Yuusuke: The writer and director of Hellraiser.
Kurama: Ah.
Hiei: [smirks] I liked Hellraiser.
Yuusuke: Watch it, Kurama; he’s a Mazoku just waiting to happen.
Kurama: [hits him] It’s your fault. Besides, it’s not all about chains, hooks, and flesh ripping.
Yuusuke and Hiei: It’s not?
Kurama: [rolls his eyes]
[This might be a fan rumor, though it seems to hold true: Mazoku are masochistic]

>Half-Breed's Curse

Kurama: The Mummy’s Curse.
Yuusuke: The Curse of Frankenstein.
Hiei: Half-Breed? [eye twitch] It’s me again, isn’t it?
Yuusuke: We had this discussion. You’re *the* most popular character. So of course you’re the target, most of the time.
Hiei: But it wasn’t me last time. It was you and Koenma.
Koenma: [hides a smile]
Yuusuke: [sighs] Yeah, I remember.
Hiei: I did not doubt that.

>by Rose Thorne

Hiei: Yeah, it’s about me.
Yuusuke, Koenma, and Kurama: [sing] I’m a wild and untamed thing/ I’m a bee with a deadly sting/ You get hit and your mind goes ping/ Your heart’ll pump and your blood will sing/ Let the party and the sounds rock on/ Gonna shake it till the night has gone, gone, gone/ ROSE TINT MY WORLD/ Keeps me save from my trouble and pain…

>Yu Yu Hakusho is the property of Yoshihiro Togashi, Studio Perriot, Shonen Jump, et al.

Yuusuke: “And I, Koshi Rikdo, do hereby pledge, in the event that ‘Excel Saga’ is animated that I have given the staff full authority over its contents, and that I will not complain, protest, condemn, or file charges.”
Kurama: Well, I’d like to protest. I think we belong to ourselves.
Koenma: No. We’re all slaves to something, one way or another.
Yuusuke: Great. Now I miss Planet of the Apes.
Koenma: There, there.

>I do not acknowledge FUNimation with anything but the destruction of the series.

All: [cheer enthusiastically]
Kuwa: I *hate* my dub voice.
Yuusuke: Yeah, it makes you seem like an even bigger moron.
Hiei: Really?
Kuwa: Shrimp…
Hiei: It wasn’t an insult! Besides, I hate mine too. Makes me sound like some DBZ reject.
Kurama: And I…
Yuusuke: Yours is trying *too* hard to sound gay.
Kurama: Yuusuke…
Yuusuke: I mean it. It’s like hearing David Moo all over again. [i.e. David Moo is the dub voice of Xellos (Slayers) and he’s AWFUL!]
Kurama: At least he doesn’t sound like he’s holding his nose.
Yuusuke: True.

>Chapter Two

Kurama: Where’s chapter one?
Koenma: Oh, don’t start that again.
Kurama: [glares] I’ll complain if I want to, damn it.
Hiei: Yeah, stick up for your rights.
Koenma: What rights? We’re stuck on this satellite -
Yuusuke: The right Kurama has to be anal about the grammar.
Kurama: Anal? I am not an-
Hiei: [kisses him]
Kuwa: But he has a point. We don’t know what happened last chapter.
Koenma: So?
Yuusuke: I agree. Let’s just shut up, read the stupid thing, and get outta here.
Kuwa: So you and Koenma can get back to the holocabana, right?
Yuusuke: I shall be ignoring your insinuations today.
Kuwa: God, Urameshi, you’re even starting to sound like him.
Yuusuke: Shut up!
Kuwa: Never mind, you’re back to normal.
Yuusuke: Gah…
Koenma: [pats his shoulder comfortingly]

>Kurama carefully went through his seeds, weaving quite a few of them in his hair for the coming mission.

Yuusuke: Hell, he picks up seeds *during* a mission.
Kurama: [Hiei finally pulls away, leaving the poor redhead dazed] Eh?
Yuusuke: Nothing, Kurama. Don’t worry ‘bout it.
Kurama: What’s he talking about?
Hiei: Something about you and your seeds.
Kurama: [glares at Yuusuke] None of your damn business!
Yuusuke: [stares at him, then falls over laughing]
Koenma: Not *that* kind of seeds, Kurama.
Kurama: Oh. Oh!

>The rest he tucked into the pocket of the daypack he was bringing. He had just harvested these seeds from the garden the week before, so he was well-stocked.

Kurama: [before Yuusuke can say anything] Well-stocked, not well stacked.
Yuusuke: I wasn’t even thinking that! You’re the one whose mind’s stuck in the gutter.
Koenma: And we know whom to blame for that.
Hiei: [innocently] What?
Kurama: [hugs the Jaganshi] He’s irresistible.
Koenma: Yeah, we can tell.
Yuusuke: But that does remind me of something.
Kuwa: Irresistible?
Yuusuke: No, idiot! The harvesting thing. K-chan, have you seen Motel Hell?
Koenma: [slightly shocked by the sudden use of a nickname] Uh… No, I don’t think so.
Yuusuke: Oh. When we get home I’ll make you watch it. It’s kind of like Night of the Living Dead and Texas Chainsaw Massacre.
Hiei: Sounds like I won’t be his guinea pig anymore…
Yuusuke: Oh, you and Kurama will see it too.
Kurama: After you and Koenma watch it by yourselves, of course.
Hiei: You mean *K-chan*, don’t you?
Kurama: Quite right.
Yuusuke: Shut -
Koenma: They’re just trying to get a rise out of you, you know.
Kurama: Sorry, Yuusuke. We’re bored.
Yuusuke: Well, make-out or something.
Hiei: You’d enjoy that, wouldn’t you?
Yuusuke: Ugh.

>If he needed any more, he would have to gather them along the way.

Yuusuke: Which he does do.
Hiei: Just keep him away from any bodies of water. He either goes swimming or fishing.
Kurama: [defensively] I like fish!
Hiei: That’s *his* addiction.
Kurama: I am not addicted to fish.
Hiei: Sure.
Yuusuke: Ah. Fish. Fox. I can see that.
[Note: Not sure if it’s a coincidence, but Xena has this thing about fishing too.]

>Considering that they were going to the Aganth forest, that would not be much of a problem. He would be in his element.

Hiei: There’ll be man-eating plants?
Kurama: Are you still going on about that?
Hiei: Yes.
Kurama: [sighs]
Hiei: One of them grew a mouth and almost ate me!
Kurama: [pulls the demon into his lap, holding him] I don’t think they’d attack you now, though.
Hiei: [suspiciously] I’m marked or something now, aren’t I?
Kurama: … In a manner of speaking.
Hiei: I knew it.
Kuwa: Uh… That’s not the type of marking I’m thinking, is it?
Hiei: You can think?
Kurama: What, Kuwabara?
Kuwa: I mean… Like cats do.
Kurama: Oh, *no!* Definitely not.
Hiei: [nose twitches]

>They had been given a bit of time to gather the gear they would need, which reflected on the importance of the mission.

Yuusuke: Sometimes we’re thrust into it and sometimes we’re not.
Koenma: It depends entirely on when we find out about the trouble. When the Saint Beasts threatened the Ningenkai, there was not enough time before the invasion. Which is different from, say, the Dark Tournament. It just so happened that you had three months to prepare.
Yuusuke: Mm.

>They usually started on the mission straight from the debriefing, but Koenma wanted them as prepared as possible, so he had given them one hour. If they failed this, there would be no second chance.

Kurama: There usually aren’t.
Kuwa: Duh. We’re saving the world, right?
Hiei: Don’t exercise your brain too much; you’ll get a cramp or something.
Kuwa: SHRIMP!

>Yuusuke and Kuwabara didn't really need much preparation since they used rei weapons, but they had disappeared anyway, grumbling something about "decent food" as they'd hurried off.

Yuusuke: Unlike fox-boy and fire-baby, we can’t survive on rabbit food!
Hiei: You’ve lived a week on it.
Yuusuke: I’m dying. You can’t tell, but I am.
Koenma: Yuu-chan, don’t joke about that. You have died twice, technically.
Yuusuke: Sorry.

>Kurama assumed they were going grocery shopping for the mission, a thought that made him roll his eyes in amused exasperation. He could only hope that the two would remember that they would be without access to the luxuries that were necessary to prepare human foods.

Kuwa: Huh?
Yuusuke: Don’t buy TV dinners because we have no microwave.
Kurama: That includes frozen pizza.
Yuusuke: [Kuwabara in the fic] Damn it!
Kuwa: I know better than that!
Yuusuke: [shrugs] You never know…
Kuwa: [grumbles]

>Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a dark figure slip through the bedroom window.

All: [sans Hiei] Hi, Hiei!!
Hiei: Well, that’s pathetically obvious.
Kurama: It’s not like he could do it up *here,* though.

>"Hello, Hiei."

[all exchange looks]
Yuusuke: We probably should have seen that coming.
Hiei: Pretend it didn’t happen.
Yuusuke: Right.

>He wondered if his comrade was in a better mood than he had been before.

>"Hn."

Yuusuke and Kuwabara: No, he’s not!
Hiei: Hn.
Kurama: Ah. A clue to the previous chapter.
Koenma: Ignore it.
Kurama: I *can’t!*

>Kurama sighed; if anything, Hiei looked more annoyed than he had earlier. "Did you need something, or is this a social call?" He couldn't resist the tempting opportunity to tease the demon, though he knew it would not be appreciated.

Hiei: He does that.
Kurama: [kisses his cheek] Meh. I just love messing with the stoic ones.
Hiei: [smirks] I suppose I’ll have to go kill every other stoic person we know, then.
Kurama: I *do* know what monogamy means, dear one.
Hiei: See? I can tease you too.
Kurama: My…

>Hiei scowled at him. "I don't do 'social calls'. I need a bag."

Koenma: [Hiei] Body bag. I finally killed that idiot ningen.
Kuwa: Hey!
Yuusuke: Oh, think Weekend At Burney’s. We drag Kuwabara’s corpse around with us, pretending he’s still alive!
Kuwa: And my sister’s the hired gunman who goes after you.
Yuusuke: Meep.
Hiei: But that wouldn’t work. Burney was getting women even after he died.
Kurama: [remembers that] Ew…
Kuwa: Stupid shrimp…

>Kurama raised an eyebrow. "You would normally just steal one. Why are you asking me?"

>The fire demon's face twitched slightly, his jaw clenching in anger. "Koenma."

Koenma: [was staring at Yuusuke and not paying attention] What?
Yuusuke: Nothing, just the fic.
Koenma: Mm…
Hiei: I’ve never listened to the toddler. Don’t know why I should start now.
Kurama: Dragon, you’re just being irritable.
Hiei: Hn.
Yuusuke: Fics about him always annoy him. You know that.
Hiei: Yeah, what he said.

>The redhead's eyebrows shot up,

Yuusuke: - up and away!
Kuwa: What?
Yuusuke: Hey, I’m working off no caffeine. Be quiet.
Hiei: We openly mock stupidity. Those have always been the rules.
Yuusuke: Meh.
Kurama: Up through the ceiling, perhaps.
Yuusuke: But I’ve used that one before.

>but he didn't press for information. Obviously, the godling had discovered that Hiei was putting his thieving skills to good use in the Ningenkai. Kurama wasn't sure how Koenma expected Hiei to survive without stealing in a currency-based world.

Hiei: Go to Kurama’s house and look hungry. Don’t even have to ask, I know he’ll feed me.
Kurama: [kisses his forehead] I just can’t resist your charms.
Hiei: I know.
Yuusuke: [Kurama] I know you know.
Koenma: [Hiei] I know you know that I know.
Hiei: [kicks them both] Quiet.

>He sighed. "There's a black one on the top shelf of my closet." He watched his friend retrieve it. "You've never carried a bag on our missions before," he noted. "Why are you using one now?"

Yuusuke: [Hiei] I’m planning on killing Kuwabara. Need something to stash the remains in.
Hiei: More like you, Urameshi.
Yuusuke: [bats his eyes] Daddy!
Hiei: [stares at him]
Kurama: Oh, right. That Hiei-papa, Kurama-momma thing.
Yuusuke: [grins]

>Hiei didn't look at him. "None of your business."

>Kurama frowned. "That depends on whether it will end up affecting the mission."

Yuusuke: Ooh. Good point.
Koenma: Then Hiei bitch slaps him.
Hiei: What?!
Koenma: Spousal abuse.
Hiei: [hits him]
Kuwa: Hey, is this Yaoi or what?
Yuusuke: Dunno.
Kurama: Yaoi, Yuri, Het, General; it doesn’t matter. Hiei still climbs through windows.
Yuusuke: Reminds me of the “I will kill you” thing for Heero.
Kurama: Right. Jokes passed around through fandoms.
Yuusuke: And Aya Fujimiya having a stick up his ass.
Kurama: But Brad Crawford has a bigger one.
Yuusuke: Which is kind of fun if you’re reading a Aya/Crawford.
Kurama: It can get old after a while. Not that I read a lot of Weiss Kreuz fics.
Yuusuke: Right.
Kurama: I don’t. Most of them are Aya/Youji, and I don’t like that pairing.
Yuusuke: Or Youji/Ken.
Koenma: Guys. The pairings for Weiss are interchangeable. It doesn’t matter.
Kurama: It does to me; I don’t like reading most of them.
Rando’s voice: Will you just get on with it?!
Yuusuke: No, we were thinking of just talking about Weiss Kreuz all day.
Rando: [grumbles]

>The fire demon stiffened, then slowly turned and glowered at the fox. "There's a reason I don't want to go on this mission. I'm not shirking my responsibilities." Hiei turned toward the window.

Kurama: Ouch.
Yuusuke: Dad, don’t fight with Mommy.
Hiei: I didn’t touch him!
Kurama: Well…
Hiei: [smirks] Granted. But I didn’t hit you.
Kurama: Of course not.

>"Hiei..." His friend stopped, not turning. "What's wrong?

Yuusuke: [Hiei] Other than acting like a bitch?
Hiei: What?
Yuusuke: I swear, Dad, you’re PMSing.
Hiei: [confused]
Kurama: PMS. Stands for Pre-Menstrual Syndrome.
Hiei: Oh. [hits Yuusuke. Hard.]
Yuusuke: Child abuse! Child abuse!
Hiei: I’ll show you child abuse if you don’t shut up.

>He turned his face slightly, looking at Kurama peripherally. "You'll find out soon enough. There's no way I'll be able to hide it, Kurama."

Yuusuke: See? PMS.
Hiei: [hits him again]
Koenma: Maybe you should stop.
Yuusuke: [waves it off] Nah, he’s not hitting me hard. If he did, I’d be flying into a wall.
Hiei: [smirks]
Yuusuke: [worried] Eh…

>The redhead frowned at the flat, defeated tone of the fire demon's voice. "What-?" Hiei disappeared through the window before he could finish his question.

Hiei: That *is* getting irritating.
Kurama: Well, quit doing it. Maybe they’d stop.
Hiei: The opportunity has yet to present itself, Imp.
Kurama: Yes, yes. [gives him another kiss]
Koenma: Yes, while on this satellite, I seem to be missing the more mundane activities of my existence.
Yuusuke: Like being able to go *outside*?
Koenma: [nods]

>Kurama sighed, glancing at his clock. "See you in twenty minutes." He winced. That meant he had twenty minutes to spin a lie for his mother about his absence. He quickly finished packing his bag, spinning a yarn as he did, then headed off to talk to Shiori.

Kuwa: You know how to spin yarn?
Kurama: No. I was making up a story to tell my Mother.
Kuwa: Oh… [still a little confused] What’s that have to do with yarn?
Hiei: Can I kill him? Please, let me kill him.
Kurama: [smiles] No, dear one. His body would stink up the place and it’s unbearable enough here already.
Kuwa: Kurama…
Kurama: Joke, Kuwabara-kun.

>* * *

Yuusuke: Um…
Koenma: Can’t think of anything?
Yuusuke: [shakes his head] Not a damn thing.
Hiei: Ignore it.
Koenma: I wish we could *ignore* this fic.

>Kurama hurried toward Yuusuke and Kuwabara, who were arguing over a daypack. "What's going on?"

Yuusuke: We ain’t doing nothin’!
Kurama: It looks like nothing.
Hiei: He would much rather like to do *something*, but with K-chan, right?
Koenma: Only Yuusuke can call me “K-chan”.
Yuusuke: [blushes]
Hiei: My mistake.

>Yuusuke scowled. "Kuwabara brought a whole pack filled with junk food. I'm trying to tell him that he can't bring it, but he won't listen."

Yuusuke: Junk food. Who called it?
Kurama: I think both you and Kuwabara.
Yuusuke: Oh. Right.

>There was a displacement of air, and the pack in question disappeared.

Kurama: I was wondering where you’d gotten to.
Yuusuke: He shows up eventually. Always has to make an entrance.
Hiei: You’re one to talk.

>"We don't have time for this, idiots. The wrappers would give away the fact that we're coming." Hiei was standing on a high branch, the daypack dangling from his hand. He lashed it securely to a branch. "We'll retrieve it when we return."

Hiei: Why?
Kuwa: You like junk food too, I guess.
Hiei: Hm…
Koenma: But that’s a good point, you know.
Kuwa: We usually don’t have enough time to go get food.
Koenma: [sighs] Again, that’s really not my fault.
Kuwa: You’re the one in charge!
Yuusuke: It’s not his fault. Lay off.
Kuwa: [shocked into silence]
Koenma: [smiles at Yuusuke, who returns it shyly] [Hiei and Kurama see this of course, and smirk at each other]

>Kuwabara scowled as he jumped down. "I was only trying to make things easier for us!"

>Hiei glowered. "And you failed miserably. Nothing new there."

Yuusuke: Meep.
Kuwa: Shrimp, you really *are* PMSing.
Hiei: [glares at him]

>Kuwabara opened his mouth to reply, but Kurama smoothly intercepted whatever comment he had planned on making. "We don't have time for arguing, you two. Hiei, please cooperate so we can get this mission finished as soon as possible."

>"Hn."

Yuusuke: [Hiei] But I don’t wanna!
Koenma: [Hiei] Shut up and help me stuff the big oaf in this bag.
Kuwa: [grumbles]
Kurama: They are quite the team, aren’t they?
Hiei: Very.

>Kurama glanced at Yuusuke. "Are we ready?"

>He shrugged. "We're waiting for Botan.

Yuusuke: [himself] She’s getting her hair done.
Koenma: [Hiei] I wonder if there’s room for her in the body bag…

>She's supposed to be coming with us." The statement incited a scowl from Hiei. "I wonder where she is?"

Yuusuke: I just said she was getting her hair done!
Hiei: She should get her *head* done.
Koenma: [tries not to laugh]

>Hiei snorted. "Typical. Women are always late."

>"Hiei-chan, that's mean!" Hiei nearly jumped from the tree as Botan appeared on a branch suddenly.

Hiei: Typical. And *don’t* call me Hiei-chan.
Yuusuke: Into the body bag she goes!

>She was dressed appropriately for hiking, thankfully. She grinned at them. "Are we ready to go?"

Yuusuke: [Hiei] Why does everyone keep asking that?
Kurama: [himself] It seems appropriate.

>Hiei scowled and muttered something under his breath, but they ignored him. Kurama smiled at the ferry girl. "We're ready, Botan."

>The girl jumped down from the tree. "Okay, then. Let's go!" She led the way through the gate, the others following.

Hiei: The blind leading the blind.
Yuusuke: [snickers]
Koenma: That would include you also, though.
Hiei: It’s not really me.
Yuusuke: Right, he’s been in a much better mood since he and Kurama got together.
Hiei: I have?
Kurama: You’re happy.
Hiei: Oh. Right.

>* * *

>Kurama sighed and wiped sweat from his forehead as they trekked through the dense undergrowth, grateful that his control over plants aided him in getting through. The others weren't so lucky, and they'd had to struggle through several very dense areas several times.

Yuusuke: Show off.
Kurama: Well, if you have a talent, you should use it.
Hiei: [smirks] Like that thing you do with your tongue -
Kuwa: Urk!
Hiei: Harry/Draco.
Kuwa: [grumbles] I’m just uncomfortable hearing about you two… I’m not like Urameshi.
Yuusuke: Hey!
Kurama: And it’s even worse since he considers us his parents.
Hiei: [eyes widen] You’re right.
Yuusuke: Guys…
Kurama: And he’s walked in on us once.
Yuusuke: Rando tricked me.
Hiei: He keeps saying that.
Kurama: Mm.
Yuusuke: Oi…

>Botan and Hiei had not had to deal with this, as Hiei stuck to the trees and Botan had chosen to ride her oar.

Kurama: Well, it’s not the others, then. Just Yuusuke and Kuwabara.
Koenma: It doesn’t matter!
Hiei: Ignore it.
Kurama: [sighs] I’m trying…
Hiei: [massages his neck]
Kurama: Mmm… That’s nice. Keep doing it.

>They'd been traveling practically nonstop since they had left the Ningenkai hours before, despite the humidity. They had stopped only for a bit to eat a light meal. Hiei hadn't bothered to come down from the trees even then.

Yuusuke: [Hiei] I can’t be bothered to fraternize more than I have to with these idiot humans.
Koenma: [Hiei] I’m an aloof bad-ass; I don’t need to eat.

>They were keeping off paths because of Hiei's insistence.

Kurama: Forgive me if I’m wrong, but in The Hobbit, when they were travelling through Mirkwood, didn’t Gandalf tell them not to go off the path? Then they went and did it anyway?
Koenma: Oh dear. This doesn’t bode well.
Hiei: And you’d think with the man-eating plants around I’d want to get *away* from them.
Kurama: [sighs]

>The fire demon had made it very clear that they needed the element of surprise, and that all the paths going into the Aganth forest would be watched and heavily guarded.

Koenma: By *whom*?
Yuusuke: Such things are not for us lower life forms to know.

>His lecture, of course, had been obvious to Kurama. Yuusuke had understood as well. Kuwabara, on the other hand, was still angry over the daypack of junk food. He'd spent the entire morning making comments directed at Hiei until Kurama had finally asked him to be quiet.

Yuusuke: A venture which was not successful.
Kuwa: Urameshi…

>It was nearing dusk when Hiei finally jumped down from the tree. "We'll camp here," he said, his soft voice indicating that there was no room for argument. There were none anyway. They had all been rather worn out by the full afternoon of hiking.

Hiei: What they did not suspect was that he’d led them into a nest of man-eating plants -
Kurama: [captures his lips in a searing kiss]
Hiei: [moans happily]

>The fire demon disappeared,

Yuusuke: He just vanished?
Kuwa: Hey, didn’t that happen a lot in Neko?
Yuusuke: [tries to remember]
Koenma: I think it did.
Yuusuke: Neko. That was the first Rose Thorne fic we read, right?
Koenma: Correct.
Yuusuke: The one with the cat slaughtering.
Koenma: Right.
Kuwa: [grumbles; still upset about the cat thing]

>and Kurama had Kuwabara get to work finding firewood while he and Yuusuke prepared the campsite. Hiei reappeared as they were finishing, carrying the carcasses of several rabbit-like animals. He threw them down near the firewood then hopped into a tree.

Kuwa: Are they still…?
Yuusuke: [surprised] You can’t see them?
Koenma: He’s doing his best not to look.
Yuusuke: And everyone said *I’m* a prude.
Kuwa: You are.
Yuusuke: Shut up.
[Hiei is straddling Kurama’s hips. They’re still kissing.]

>Kurama glanced up at him, raising an eyebrow. Hiei nearly always ended up starting the campfire.

Yuusuke: He’s got a fire going, alright.
Koenma: [is getting mad that he’s actually watching them. Jealousy.]

>Granted, he usually did it after watching Kuwabara try to start it manually, but he had assumed that the fire demon would volunteer rather than deal with Kuwabara tonight.

Yuusuke: Well, personally, I wouldn’t want to help Kuwabara jacking off.
Kuwa: What?!
Yuusuke: She said, “manually.”
Koenma: [blushes] Yuusuke…

>Hiei noticed his gaze and glowered back.

Yuusuke: He’s upset that Kurama isn’t joining him up in the trees.
Kurama: [pulls away] Hiei, we need to stop.
Hiei: [groans] No!
Kurama: I know, dear one. But not in front of the others.
Hiei: I don’t care.
Kurama: I know you don’t. I do. Okay? [tilts Hiei’s chin up] Don’t pout.
[gives him a slower kiss]

>The fox sighed. The sanjiyan definitely had something that was bothering him, and he knew they would find out what it was when the time came.

Hiei: There’s that word again.
Kurama: Sanjiyan. I still like it.
Yuusuke: He’s PMSing!
Hiei: Shut up.

>Something that had Hiei so upset would definitely end up affecting them as well. He decided to ignore it until it became a definite problem.

Yuusuke: Like running out of pads.
Hiei: Pads?
Kurama: [hits Yuusuke] Nothing, ignore him.
Hiei: But what did he mean?
Kurama: [explains into his ear]
Hiei: *Yuusuke*.
Yuusuke: I know, I know. [hits himself]

>Kurama frowned as Hiei did nothing while Kuwabara struggled with the fire.

Hiei: Don’t tell me he’s rubbing two sticks together.
Yuusuke: No, that’s what you and Kurama were doing a minute ago.
Hiei: [groans]

>The fire demon made no move to start it, and merely ignored Kuwabara. He exchanged a look with Yuusuke, who pulled out a lighter and used it to start the dried leaves mixed with the wood.

Kurama: And none of us are surprised that he *has* a lighter, ne?
Kuwa: I *know* he has one.
Hiei: Oh?
Kuwa: [blushes] I mean, I saw it.
Hiei: Really. Did you know about this Koenma?
Koenma: [mock glares at Kuwabara] Mine.
Kuwa: And you can have him! Stop twisting my words around!!
Yuusuke: [is blushing] Shut up, guys.

>Yuusuke and Kuwabara ended up electing Kurama to cook the meal, and he did so, with Botan's help.

Kurama: I do the housecleaning, cooking… I feel like your maid.
Yuusuke: Or our mother?
Kurama: [glowers ominously] That’s getting old real fast.

>He seemed to be the only one who noticed that Hiei ate nothing. This was becoming more and more worrisome. As darkness fell, the fire demon spoke up. "We will keep watch in pairs."

>Yuusuke looked surprised. They'd never done that before.

Yuusuke: Meep.
Hiei: Stop taking everything out of context.
Kuwa: Done what before?
Kurama: Paired off? We seem to be doing quite nicely.
Yuusuke: That’s why I meeped.
Koenma: [doesn’t know if “meep” is a good reaction or a bad one]

>"But we'll be fine keeping watch the way we always do it! And we need to be well-rested!"

>Hiei glared at him, then looked away. "Trust me, Yuusuke. We will keep watch in pairs."

Yuusuke: Fic Hiei is horny too, looks like.

>Kurama exchanged a worried glance with Yuusuke, then looked up at Hiei, who was still perched in the tree. "We'll take first watch, then. Yuusuke and Kuwabara can take second. Botan, you can sleep the whole night, unless you wish to take watch with Yuusuke and Kuwabara."

Hiei: Pfft. Just because she’s the woman you have to go easy on her.
Kurama: Well, do you want Botan keeping watch by herself?
Hiei: … No. She’d probably fall back to sleep and we’d be attacked.
Kuwa: Guys, stop picking on Botan.
Hiei: Make me.

>Hiei nodded almost imperceptively, and Kurama noticed that he seemed . . . relieved that Kurama had offered to keep watch with him. But why?

Yuusuke: He’s horny and he only wants Kurama.

>Yuusuke, Kuwabara, and Botan settled down for the night. When Kuwabara started snoring softly, Hiei spoke up again. "I brought wards with me. We should set them up around the camp, just in case."

>Kurama was surprised. Hiei had never done that before, preferring to rely on his demon instincts. "Hiei-"

Yuusuke: PMSing, horny, and now he’s got Kuwabara’s paranoia.
Koenma: Seems that way.

>Hiei jumped down, pulling the borrowed bag from under his cloak. "Don't ask, Kurama. Just . . . don't."

Yuusuke: Vampires!
Hiei: Wha?
Yuusuke: Vampires. You’re so grumpy and skittish because you were bitten.
Hiei:…
Koenma: In a forest though?
Yuusuke: Oh. Werewolves then.
Kurama: Werewolves aren’t bad, just misunderstood.
Yuusuke: Not all werewolves are like Remus Lupin.

>He took out the wards, then replaced the bag under his cloak and disappeared for a moment, reappearing a few seconds later. Instead of jumping back into the tree, he sat a few feet away from the redhead and stared into the fire.

>They sat in companionable silence. "Hiei, why didn't you start the campfire?" Kurama asked after a while.

Yuusuke: [Hiei] For kicks.

>There was a short silence before the fire demon answered. "I don't want it relying on my ki . . ."

Hiei: Huh?
Kurama: Ne, fires you make *are* -
Hiei: No, I didn’t say it was wrong. I’m… confused.
Yuusuke: We all are. Just go with it.

>That surprised the fox.

Koenma: And so were the poor souls forced to read this crap.

>"Why?" Hiei shook his head and didn't answer. Kurama sighed. "Hiei, I'm worried about you. Why won't you tell me what's wrong?"

Yuusuke: He’s shy.
Hiei: Not anymore. That’s your job.
Yuusuke: [glares]

>Hiei glanced at him briefly, then went back to staring into the fire. After a moment, he reached forward and touched the flames, then pulled back suddenly, as if burned. He looked surprised.

Kurama: [worried] Was he?
Hiei: Seems so.
Kurama: The only time I remember you burning yourself you’d done it on purpose.
Yuusuke: And had some nasty blisters all along your arm.
Hiei: Hn.

>"It's too early," he murmured. "It shouldn't be happening yet . . ."

Kuwa: What is?
Yuusuke: It’s gone from PMS to menopause.
Hiei: [hits him hard] I KNOW what that means.
Yuusuke: [rubs his arm] Ow…
Koenma: You okay? [concerned]
Yuusuke: Hey, I haven’t gone flying into a wall yet.
Hiei: You’re working on it, though.

>Kurama moved forward, his eyes widening as he saw that Hiei's hand had been burned.

>"You're a fire demon, Hiei! Why-"

Yuusuke: Oh, I get it now!
Kuwa: What?
Hiei: [cracks his knuckles]
Yuusuke: It’s still PMS. Remember during Slayers season one? Lina Inverse lost her powers because she was on her period!
Hiei: [rolls his eyes]

>The wards suddenly fizzed and went up in flames.

Yuusuke: [Hiei] They were faulty wards!
Koenma: They don’t make ‘em like they used to.

>Hiei cursed and was on his feet in a flash, katana out and at the ready. Kurama reached into his hair. "Yuusuke, Kuwabara, Botan! We have company!" The three barely managed to reach their feet as a group of demons attacked.

Koenma: Oh, look, our mystery demons.
Yuusuke: Doesn’t matter who or what. What’s important is what’s going on with Hiei, right?
Kuwa: They’re doing it again. [motions to Hiei and Kurama, who are, yes, kissing again]
Yuusuke: [Freddy Krueger] Wanna suck face?
Kurama: [pulls away from Hiei to glare at the teen] Jerk. You know I hate those movies.
Yuusuke: Hey, I’m just worried Rando will get mad or something…
Koenma: He’s been… unusually quiet today.
Giaki’s voice: Shh. He fell asleep.
Koenma: Oh.
Yuusuke: Good.

>Kurama slashed with his rose whip, dodging blasts of ki interspersed with spells. They had a mage with them. He cursed, taking note of how the other Tantei were doing as he moved.

>Botan was battling valiantly with her oar, bashing the few youkai that got past Yuusuke and Kuwabara, who were protecting her as they battled. Hiei was flitting around, dodging ki attacks and spells as well. Kurama frowned. He was going slower than he normally did, and he seemed to be slowing further.

Yuusuke: See? Lina.
Koenma: Thought you’d identify this with some horror movie by now.
Yuusuke: Well, if it’d been vampires and werewolves, he’d be gaining strength, not losing it. The closest thing this fits is Nightmare on Elmstreet 4: Dream Master.
Koenma: Why?
Yuusuke: The three remaining dream warriors were killed off in the beginning. They weren’t that strong to begin with. But they just seemed to be weaker since they didn’t believe in Freddy or their powers anymore. Of course, then Alice inherits all their strengths and goes up against Mr. Rare Done himself.

>Kurama concentrated on his fight as he very narrowly avoided an attack. These were trained youkai, obviously sent to destroy them by their enemy.

Yuusuke: Who wishes to remain nameless at this time.
Koenma: [their enemy] I was framed, I tell you!

>The battle had begun, and they hadn't even reached the tower site.

Yuusuke: Tower?
Kurama: Something *else* that happened in chapter one.
Hiei: *Ignore it.*

>His eyes widened as he heard a yell that he hadn't expected. Hiei . . .?

Yuusuke: Uh oh.
Kurama: [holds Hiei a bit tighter]
Hiei: [gives him a look] Imp. It’s just a dumb fic.
Kurama: [pouts] I don’t like the idea of you being in danger.
Hiei: But I’m not. I’m fine.
Yuusuke: [Oona as Lily] I’m warm and alive. And I want to be in your arms.
Hiei: I am, and it’s none of your business, voyeur.
Kurama: [snickers] It’s from a movie, Hiei.
Hiei: Does it look like I care?

>He slashed the demon he had been fighting and positioned himself so he could see what had happened, just in time to see Hiei fall, apparently hit by a ki attack. The demon he had been battling moved to finish him off and Kurama moved quickly. He was beaten there by Yuusuke's rei gan, which destroyed the offending demon.

Yuusuke: [himself] Who’s da man? Who’s da man?!
Hiei: [himself] Shut up, you imbecile, and check if I’m still alive.

>He continued to move, reaching Hiei's unconscious form. "Get the supplies and retreat!" Kurama picked the fire demon up, confused by the fact that Hiei seemed lighter than usual.

Kurama: He didn’t eat before. Maybe he hasn’t been eating regularly and he’s lost weight.
Koenma: At this point it’s anyone’s guess.

>He disregarded it for the moment as he dodged another ki blast--someone had apparently taken out the mage, as there were no more spells being thrown about. This wasn't surprising as mages tended not to have the best defenses.

Yuusuke: Um… And these guys were trained? If they were supposed to take us out, why did they bring along a third-rate magician?
Koenma: Perhaps they were merely sent out to test your abilities, not to kill you.
Yuusuke: Oh, that’s lovely.

>The redhead ran into the forest near Yuusuke, Kuwabara, and Botan, relieved as he felt them follow. He manipulated the plants behind them and the demons following them quickly fell behind.

Hiei: Those man-eating plants come in handy, finally.
Kurama: [rolls his eyes]
Yuusuke: [sings] Little shop, little shop of horrors…

>They ran for a long while, until they were completely certain that they weren't at risk of being found.

>When they finally stopped, Kurama lowered Hiei to the ground. The fire demon was shuddering uncontrollably. What had he been hit with? "I need a light." There was a short pause as Yuusuke rummaged in his bag. After a moment, a flashlight clicked on, shining on Hiei's still form.

Kurama: Wait. If he’s “shuddering uncontrollably” he’s not exactly still.
Koenma: Well, he’s not moving around either, so it still counts.
Kurama: [grumbles]
Koenma: Yuusuke’s right about you, you know.
Hiei: Leave him alone. Kurama, ignore the fic.

>Kurama heard Kuwabara gasp. "His hair!"

Yuusuke: [Kuwabara] Quick, while he’s asleep, let’s dye it pink!

>The redhead stared in shock. Hiei's hair had turned the same light blue-turquoise as Yukina's hair. What the . . .?

Hiei: [stares] My sentiments exactly.
Yuusuke: Man. Sorry, Hiei. Didn’t know we were right.
Kurama: Ne, you like blue-haired girls, don’t you, Kuwabara? What about blue-haired boys?
Kuwa: Urk! Not Hiei!
Kurama: [offended] Why not? What’s wrong with him?
Kuwa: Uh… Nothing, but, he’s yours.
Kurama: [smiles] Good answer.

>"He may have been hit by a spell," Kurama said softly when he regained use of his voice.

>"I took out the mage before he went down," Yuusuke whispered. "There's no way it was a spell."

Hiei: Curse. Hence the title of the fic.
Yuusuke: Great. Someone call Subaru Sumeragi.
Hiei: [frowns] Doesn’t he only do possessions?
Yuusuke: No, remember the OVA? The one with the dog?
Hiei: Oh. Right.
[Tokyo Babylon ova reference. I’m not sure, but is this the first thing Clamp had animated?]

>Botan finally spoke. "Maybe . . . Maybe this is part of the reason he didn't want to come?"

Hiei: You think?!
Koenma: Not most of the time.
Yuusuke: Geez. We’re just dogging on Botan this mst. Does she read these?
Koenma: Uh… Oh crap.
Yuusuke: She does?!
Koenma: [nods weakly]
Yuusuke: Oh, crap… Then she told Keiko.
Koenma: Damn. I’m sorry, Yuusuke.
Yuusuke: [shakes his head] No, it’s just… I’d rather have told her all this in person.
Koenma: [very worried - he knows Yuusuke still cares about Keiko, don’t you think? Maybe not in love with, but still cares…]

>Kurama moved forward, checking Hiei for injuries. He recoiled as he felt something soft that shouldn't be there.

Kurama: What?
Hiei: [stares]
Yuusuke: Oh! I get it!!
Koenma: Mind sharing with the rest of the group?
Yuusuke: [turns to Hiei] Hello, Ranma-chan!
Hiei: [in shock]
Kuwa: [starts laughing] You fell into the Spring of a Young Girl!

>He checked his friend's ki and gasped.

>Hiei was no longer a fire demon. He was now a true Koorime, gender included.

Yuusuke: [Kurama] Okay, who threw the cold water on him?
Koenma: [Yuusuke] Couldn’t help myself.

>The reasoning behind this will be explained in the next chapter, whenever I get it out. ^^;

Hiei: Huh?
Kurama: Author’s note.
Yuusuke: [author] Yes! In chapter three, we meet Kuno, the obnoxious swordsman. He falls heavily for Hiei’s female form, and refuses to believe that Hiei and Hiei-chan are one and the same. *And*, Kurama turns into a pig when splashed with cold water. Then wanders into the woods, loosing his way, and eventually finds himself in Italy.

>And, yes, Hiei is female, and, yes, Kurama touched his breast.

Yuusuke: Go, Kurama!
Kurama: Meh.
Hiei: Is it over yet?
Kurama: Almost.

>Sorry this took so long to get out. As you noticed, I was concentrating on Suicide for a while.

Kuwa: Um…
Hiei: She’s been concentrating on killing herself…
Kurama: No, she has a fic called “Suicide.”
Other four: Ohh…
Koenma: How do you know?
Kurama: How do I know anything? It’s one of Rose Thorne’s fics I happened to read outside the theatre.
[Foreshadowing…]

>I'm also working on some other things. School is about to start up tomorrow again, so I figured it'd be best to get this out while I still have time and energy.

Yuusuke: Hey. At least we don’t have to go to school if we’re stuck up here.
Kuwa: You’re right! [cheers]
Kurama: Wonderful. Farewell my good grades.

>Thank you for bearing with me as I take so long to update. Life is insane right now.

All: Tell us about it!
Hiei: It’s over. [grabs Kurama and races out of the unlocked door]
Yuusuke: [snickers] They just can’t wait, can they?
Kuwa: When are we going to… you know…? [waves his hand toward the Observatory]
Yuusuke: [smirks] Not with you, buddy.
Kuwa: No, I mean about -
Koenma: Later, I’m sure. [as they’re leaving] Yuusuke, did you want to go to the holocabana for a while?
Yuusuke: Actually, I was thinking of playing alone for a while. If it’s okay…
Koenma: [unsteadily, trying to hide his disappointment] Oh, sure!

- Kitchen, later that day -


Kurama walked in, not really expecting to see anyone there this time of day, and was surprised to see Koenma sitting at the table.

Alone.

His head was downcast, his expression holding incredible sadness. The godling looked up when the Youko entered and stopped to stare at him, trying to give a smile and failing miserably.

“What’s up?” Kurama asked, sitting down beside him.

“Yuusuke.” It was only one word, but it was enough.

Kurama bit his lip, and couldn’t help the tease that sprang to his lips. “If Yuusuke *was* up, I doubt we’d be having this discussion.”

Koenma blushed furiously and looked away. “You know what I meant.”

“Yes,” the Youko responded sagely, “I do. But fill me in on all the lurid details anyway.”

The Junior God gave a heavy sigh. “He’s in the holocabana. Said he wanted to be alone.”

“Perhaps he needs to think things through,” Kurama reasoned.

“About Keiko.”

Kurama visibly winced. “Yes, perhaps.” He looked out the corner of his eye and saw his own mate standing in the doorway. The fire demon had that worried expression on his face again, and it pained Kurama to see it. He made a subtle motion and Hiei understood, nodding slightly, and walking down the hallway out of his line of vision. To Koenma he said, “Remember when Yuusuke didn’t deny he wasn’t in love with her anymore?”

Koenma nodded. “But that doesn’t mean that he’s not.”

“Koenma…”

“I feel like I messed up his life. He’s confused because of me!” Hazel eyes turned on him, filled with sadness and desperation.

Kurama’s human heart went out to his friend. He put his arms around the startled godling, who didn’t flinch away. “Koenma, you have to believe that it would have happened anyway, despite all that’s happened.” Koenma tried to speak again, but the Youko pulled away to look him in the eye. “Would you believe me if I said that I believe Yuusuke fell out of love with Keiko long before he realized he had interest in you?”

“But…”

“He just didn’t come to terms with it until recently.”

Koenma looked away again, down at his hands resting on the table. “No. I don’t believe it,” he said firmly. “I believe I’m just an infatuation for him, nothing more.”

“What about you and Botan?”

“Botan?” He looked amused by the idea. “Again, merely infatuation. Nothing serious.”

“Not like Yuusuke,” Kurama said knowingly.

Koenma smiled sadly, which faded from his face almost instantly. “No. Not like Yuusuke.”

“I believe he feels the same way!”

“Then why is he…”

“I told you,” Kurama said soothingly, “you need to actually talk to him. Find out what he’s so afraid of.”

“What if he’s afraid of loosing Keiko?”

Kurama shook his head. “I don’t believe that’s so.”

“Your faith is…” He searched for the right word. “Astounding.”

“A little blind, too.” Kurama waited until the godling was looking at him again. “But I truly believe he’s falling in love with you.”

Koenma said no more, looking back down at his hands. Feeling the situation becoming steadily hopeless, Kurama reached out and gave them a comforting pat.

*

Hiei found Yuusuke in the holocabana. The game he was playing was on round ten, but paused. He just sat in the middle of the room, legs crossed beneath him, dozens of frozen demons surrounding him.

“Something wrong?”

Yuusuke looked up. He looked like he was carrying the world on his shoulders. “Hey, Hiei.”

“What? I’m not ‘Dad’ anymore?” Hiei asked mildly, coming to sit next to the teen.

Yuusuke shook his head. “Not unless you’re going to offer fatherly advice.”

“Actually…”

Yuusuke heaved a sigh. “This is about Koenma.”

“There’s hope for you yet.”

Yuusuke took a swipe at the fire demon who dodged him easily. “Well, let’s see. I know he wouldn’t have sent you in here. So Kurama did. But why?”

“Koenma’s sitting in the kitchen. Alone. Looking like his best friend wanted to be alone for a little while and he wanted the company.”

The half-demon’s head shot up. “I’m not his best friend.”

“Could’ve fooled me. And it’s certainly not any of the rest of us. Nor Botan, or George, or that idiot who kidnapped him a few years ago.”

Yuusuke snickered a little, and then turned serious. “Is he alright?”

“Depressed. Definitely not alright.”

“Oh.” He looked worried. “I didn’t mean to hurt his feelings. I just wanted to think about some things.”

Hiei raised an eyebrow. “Like?”

Another heavy sigh. “Well, like how I’m worried that he doesn’t *really* like me.”

“Idiot.” Yuusuke’s heat shot up, confusion written on his face. “He’s falling in love with you. Hard.”

“Really?” Yuusuke asked, disbelieving.

Hiei smiled and nodded.

The teen shared his smile, but then looked nervous, biting his lip for emphasis. “So… What do I do?”

Hiei stared at him for a moment then hit him upside the head. “Don’t you *remember* what you told me?! Moron. Just tell him how you feel!”

“What if I don’t know how I feel?” Yuusuke demanded.

Hiei rolled his eyes, frustrated. “You know.”

“No, I don’t! I’ve never been more confused about anything in my life!”

Hiei thought about this a moment, staring at the teen. Yuusuke looked away from his calculating gaze after only a moment. It was unnerving. “Maybe loving Koenma isn’t what you’re confused about.”

“What?”

“You said before that you were worried he didn’t share your feelings. Are you worried also that this will be just a fling? That it won’t last?” *Like his relationship with Keiko,* Hiei added silently.

Yuusuke mentally digested that. “… Maybe,” he answered slowly. “But, how do you know your relationship will last with Kurama?” He regretted his words after saying them. Kurama and Hiei being together was just something he could believe in. Like, he thought, a child might feel about their parents.

Hiei considered that. “Ironically, I voiced that same fear to Kurama once.” Yuusuke looked back at him, interested. “He said, ‘The Future is always uncertain. To be sure of anything is the true failure. But I have faith that no matter what, from this moment on, I’ll always love you.’” His listener seemed confused by his words. “Faith, Yuusuke. He was talking about faith. In himself and me.”

Yuusuke smiled shyly. “I have faith in you both too.”

Hiei smiled back. “You grew up, Yuusuke. While not much of you matured, a part of you did. You still love Keiko, and maybe you’re still attracted to her, but it’s not the same. Koenma comes along and you know you like him, but are afraid the same thing’s going to happen. But you’re not a fortune teller. So don’t try. Just tell him. Take a leap of faith.”

Yuusuke sighed again. “I can’t believe we’re having a heart to heart,” he said, voicing a statement Hiei made during their first talk, which sounded much like this one.

Hiei punched him lightly in the shoulder. “So?”

Yuusuke smiled, and the weight seemed to magically lift from his shoulders. “Okay.”



TBC. Tune in same time, same channel. Now, get off the computer and watch some horror movies! Go on!