Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction ❯ Enma's Torment Theatre ❯ We're Not Finished Yet ( Chapter 20 )
[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]
By: Chrissy Sky 
*waves hand* I am not the writer you are looking for. You do not want to kill me for going on a long hiatus. Move along.
Anime/Manga: Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Romance / Hentai / Comedy | Type: Continuation | Uploaded On: 10.15.2004 | Updated On: 06.24.2005 | Pages: 15 | Words: 10.1K | Visits: 2.0K | Status: Completed
*waves hand* I am not the writer you are looking for. You do not want to kill me for going on a long hiatus. Move along.
Anime/Manga: Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Romance / Hentai / Comedy | Type: Continuation | Uploaded On: 10.15.2004 | Updated On: 06.24.2005 | Pages: 15 | Words: 10.1K | Visits: 2.0K | Status: Completed
Enma’s Torment Theatre
Episode Twenty: We’re Not Finished Yet
Story: Flux
Story by: Rose Thorne
Msted by: Chrissy Sky
Note: I love Flux, it’s my favorite of Rose-sensei’s, so I suppose this truly was a labor of love. A labor because I didn’t remember a thing about Star Trek: Voyager. >_<
For personal reference - originally there was another fic up for dissection, which would have been co-MSTed by Chrislea, Rose, and myself. The author backed out after seeing what we’d done. But, the idea Chrislea and Rose gave me for the beginning I still wanted to do, so here it is. (Just wanted to tell ya’ll that it was their idea. Not that it’s a bad idea, it’s funny, and I don’t want to take complete credit for it. There, now that I got that out of my system. Onward!)
---
“Wow, a real mission,” Yuusuke Urameshi said contemplatively. He, Kazuma Kuwabara, Hiei, and Kurama were walking through a random patch of forest in the Ningenkai, looking for their target. According to Koenma’s briefing it was a low-level demon called Shikonki, and when it came into contact with humans it infected them, turning them into zombies.
“Is everyone sure they don’t see a projector anywhere? Text rolling up a screen?” joked the teenager. His hair was appropriately gelled back and he wore clothing that, if torn, ripped, and otherwise ruined beyond repair, would not be missed.
“Shut up, Urameshi,” Kuwabara grumbled, scowling. “We have to go into the theatre today anyway.”
After the briefing, Koenma had then hesitantly informed them that they would be returning to the faux-cinema after a two-month absence.
“You make it sound like there’s something I can do about that,” Yuusuke said sourly.
“Well, Koenma is your boyfriend. Can’t you get him to, like, talk to his dad or something?”
Yuusuke glanced back to see where the two other members of their party were. Hiei and Kurama were lagging behind, talking quietly. He shrugged at Kuwabara. “His dad doesn’t listen to him much. Dating me isn’t going to change that.”
“But maybe --”
“Shh!” Yuusuke ordered abruptly. The forest had suddenly gone eerily still, and he felt something. Kuwabara noticed it only half a second later. Kurama and Hiei were silent as well, the former reaching into his hair for a rose and the latter unsheathing his sword soundlessly.
Kurama felt the shikonki draw nearer, and moved right before it chose to strike, dodging to the side and calling forth his rose whip. He did not, however, account for the demon’s many tentacles. It wasn’t often he made mistakes like this, and he mentally cursed at himself, bringing up his whip to strike in turn. His arm was caught by one of the tentacles, and he found himself wrapped up so tightly that he couldn’t move.
This was not good.
Yuusuke and Kuwabara rushed forward to back the two demons up. Hiei was already on the attack. His movements were fast, which was normal for him, but Yuusuke noted that he was fighting slightly differently than his usual manner. He was pissed off, and the shikonki was losing its appendages rapidly.
They had always suspected something like this could happen, but how could anyone be fully prepared for it? For their lover to be in danger? Kurama would be infected soon and they had to hurry. Yuusuke couldn’t use his rei gun because Kurama was too near, and with the tentacles flaying as they were, he was afraid he’d hit the Youko accidentally. Hiei’s tactic seemed to be trying to cut Kurama loose, avoiding being grabbed himself, and trying to strike a lethal blow to the shikonki’s belly without hitting the redhead, all at the same time.
“Kuwabara!” he yelled. “See if you can get Kurama loose and I’ll guard your back.” He himself would be open, but if they could get Kurama free, Hiei could concentrate on killing the shikonki.
“Right,” Kuwabara said, his rei ken already in hand. Yuusuke kept the shikonki’s tentacles from grabbing hold of the orange-haired teen, and his idea had indeed been as reckless as it had first seemed. He was smacked sharply in the side once and felt a familiar pain that told him a rib had cracked, but managed to avoid all other hits. Kuwabara, having more freedom of movement, got Kurama’s arm free. The arm that still had hold of his rose whip.
The youko hurriedly cut himself loose the rest of the way, and Yuusuke turned his attention to their target only to find it unnecessary. Hiei stood panting over the shikonki, which was now in many, *many* pieces. He looked very satisfied with the victory.
Even though the creature was dead, Hiei couldn’t bring himself to feel relieved just yet and he ran over to his lover. What if they hadn’t been fast enough? What if Kurama was infected?
Kurama was standing at least, and inspecting the blood on his clothes with a disgusted look on his face. “Please tell me I can change before we go into the theatre.”
“You can borrow some clothes,” Yuusuke offered. He stood straight, hiding his injury.
“Are you alright?” Hiei asked in a low voice. He looked the fox over but couldn’t see any wounds, didn’t smell the youko’s blood.
Kurama gave him a small smile. He didn’t show it, but Hiei could tell this incident bothered him more than he wanted to admit. “I am. I haven’t been infected.”
“Phew!” Yuusuke sighed out. Kuwabara smiled broadly and patted Kurama’s shoulder.
“Well, job’s all done,” their leader announced. “Let’s get the hell outta here. There’s still the less messier, but more boring mission to deal with.”
*In this case,* Hiei thought grimly, *I think I prefer the boring one.* He kept close to Kurama all the way back to Reikai.
*
[later; sitting down on the couch from left to right: Kuwa, Koenma, Yuusuke, Hiei, and Kurama.]
Koenma: Are all of you *sure* you’re alright?
Kurama: Other than Yuusuke’s tank top being a bit drafty for in here, yes.
Hiei: [smirks] I can keep you warm.
Kurama: I know, Dragon. [smirks right back]
Yuusuke: [kisses Koenma’s cheek] No worries, K-chan. It was a pretty easy mission.
Koenma: [placated] Alright.
>Flux
Yuusuke: - Capacitor?
Hiei: What?
Kurama: Random reference.
Hiei: I know, but what it is?
Kurama: … Good question. What *is* it?
Yuusuke: You don’t remember Back to the Future?
Kurama: *Oh.*
Hiei: So, what is it?
Yuusuke: [laughs] I have no clue, but it’s in the movie.
Hiei: Whatever.
Koenma: Have you shown Hiei Back to the Future yet, Yuu-chan?
Yuusuke: I was thinking Kurama would do it.
Kurama: [shrugs] Never got around to it. It's six hours long, after all.
Hiei: [wrinkles nose] I'd rather you read those stupid books to me.
Kurama: [smirks] You just want to hear my voice.
Hiei: [smirks back] Obviously.
Yuusuke: Party pooper. It'd be fun.
Hiei: So is hearing Kurama's voice.
Kuwa: You hear that all the time.
Hiei: Point being?
Kuwa: [shrugs] I don't care, anyway. It'd probably be more fun without you.
Hiei: Whatever.
Kurama: That was rude, Kuwabara.
Yuusuke: Yeah, no doggy treat for you.
Kuwa: OI!!
>by Rose Thorne
Kurama: Her again.
Yuusuke: How many fics does she *have*?
Koenma: Too many.
Yuusuke: Does your dad just pick out one of hers when he can't find another or something?
Koenma: I'm not sure how my dad picks fics, honestly.
Kurama: Considering, I don't think I want to know.
Hiei: Agreed.
>A Star Trek: Voyager/YYH crossover
Kuwa: Another crossover?
Kurama: Oh joy.
Yuusuke: Ugh. Don’t mention last fic. It just reminds me of *that* movie.
Kuwa: What movie?
Yuusuke: Prisoner of Azkaban! Duh!
Kuwa: Oh. Are you still going on about that?
Yuusuke: Yes.
Koenma: It *was* awful.
Yuusuke: The only good part about it was seeing it with you.
Koenma: [blushes deeply]
Yuusuke: [kisses his cheek] Dude, Kurama, we started msting it!
Kurama: It's become second nature.
Hiei: I don't consider that a good thing.
Yuusuke: No, it really isn't...
Kuwa: Too bad this isn't a Star Wars crossover.
Kurama: That actually frightens me somewhat.
Yuusuke: I'd be Han. No doubt about it.
Hiei: I want to be Vader.
Kuwa: *That* would be scary.
Kurama: If he's Vader, I'd want to be Palpatine.
Yuusuke: Okay, now *that's* kinky.
Kuwa: Squick.
Yuusuke: Kuwabara'd probably be Chewie.
Kuwa: Oi! I would not!
Yuusuke: What's wrong with Chewie? He's cool, everybody loves Chewie.
Hiei: And a walking carpet, no less. You're perfect for the part.
Kuwa: OI!
Kurama: I'd probably end up being Leia...
Yuusuke: You're getting a complex with that whole "dude looks like a lady" thing.
Hiei: Who would be Luke?
Yuusuke: Well, if I'm Han, I want Koenma to be Luke.
Kuwa: What about R2D2 and Threepio?
Koenma: ... I'm probably Artoo.
Hiei: [snorts]
Yuusuke: Damn.
Koenma: I'd rather be Luke though...
Kuwa: It probably won't ever get written, though, so it doesn't matter.
Yuusuke: True.
>~STANDARD DISCLAIMERS APPLY~
>Chapter 1
>Captain Katherine Janeway sat in her ready room, armed with a cup of coffee.
Yuusuke: All enemies will be felled by the great power of The Coffee!
Kurama: The replacement for photon torpedoes.
Koenma: This MST is going to be interesting...
Hiei: I'd rather it just be over with.
Kurama: [smirks] Me too.
Yuusuke: Going to do some - ahem - light reading tonight?
Kurama: [smirks wider] If you want to call it that.
Hiei: [smirks back at him]
>Had a little too much to drink last night, she scolded herself wryly. There had been a celebration in the holodeck the night before and the entire crew had shown up at one point or another.
Yuusuke: Because there's nothing like a bunch of drunken space explorers.
Kurama: Too bad they didn't accidentally steer the ship into a planet.
Yuusuke: You never know. Maybe that's how we come in.
Hiei: Now *that* would be funny.
Kurama: [giggles]
Koenma: Hate to be a sourpuss, but it'd mean a LOT more work for me.
Yuusuke: [winces] But it'd be funny before *that* point, anyway.
Koenma: [nods]
>Janeway had put a skeleton crew in charge of the ship,
Yuusuke: And the monkey, don't forget the monkey.
Koenma: Not *that* type of skeleton crew.
Kuwa: Fanboy.
>and had given everyone one-hour shifts to allow them to attend. The party had been put together to celebrate the marriage - finally in Janeway's opinion - of Tom Paris and B'Elanna Torres.
Yuusuke: We should get the mst cancelled to celebrate Kurama and Hiei's marriage.
Koenma: We wish.
Kurama: [annoyed] B'Elanna is the bane of existence. She ruined the pure love of Tom and Harry.
Yuusuke: Spoken like a true fanboy!
Hiei: [snorts]
Kurama: Must've picked it up from you.
Kuwa: That makes it sound like it's a virus.
Hiei: It is. Yuusuke's diseased.
Yuusuke: Hey! [doesn't know whether to be hurt or amused]
Hiei: [smirks]
>The door chimed as the Captain was taking another sip of her coffee. She swallowed quickly and put the cup down. "Come in," she said.
>The door slid open to reveal Commander Chakotay. "Coffee? At this hour?"
Yuusuke: Anytime is coffee time.
Kuwa: Caffeine addict.
Kurama: No, that's Hiei.
Hiei: Mmmm... Caffeine...
Kurama: [smiles, kisses his forehead] Caffeine and sugar.
Hiei: Chocolate covered expresso beans … Mmmm.
Yuusuke: You should get him one of those chocolate frapuchino’s at Starbucks.
Kurama: [staring at Hiei] That would be almost too much to handle...
Hiei: [gives him an innocent look]
Kurama: [softly] It'd be an all-night sexathon...
Hiei: [pulls him into a kiss] Why not? Sounds fun.
Kurama: [drags Hiei into his lap, replies softly] This weekend, perhaps...
Hiei: [smirks] Okay.
Kurama: [sighs] I know I'm going to regret this...
Hiei: [pets his hair]
Kurama: [smiles] But it'll be worth it, I'm sure.
Hiei: Oh, it will be.
Yuusuke: [shakes his head, amused]
>Janeway smiled picking up her coffee mug again. "An old remedy of my grandmother's." She paused to take another sip of her coffee.
Koenma: I thought that was a wives tale.
Yuusuke: Dunno. Mom always wants coffee when she wakes up from a night of drinking, so...
Koenma: What do you do?
Yuusuke: I never get *that* drunk...
Kuwa: [snorts]
Yuusuke: [glares at him]
Kuwa: [innocent look]
Koenma: [softly] Well, there was that night Hiei made that beer.
Hiei: [grins] *That* was fun.
Yuusuke: We gotta do that again sometime.
Koenma: Drinking game to Back to the Future?
Yuusuke: Dude.
Hiei: I might actually consider that...
Yuusuke: Yeah, it'd be fun.
>Chakotay raised an eyebrow. "For what?" he questioned, truly curious.
>The captain hid a grin behind her cup of coffee. "Hangovers."
Yuusuke: Teehee! Hangovers are funny!
Kurama: That was disturbing, Yuusuke.
Yuusuke: [smiles sheepishly] Not the effect I was going for.
Hiei: [snorts] You sounded like one of those ningen females. The ones who are always at the mall.
Yuusuke: You go to the mall?
Hiei: What about it?
Yuusuke: Nothing, I just never thought about it before.
Kurama: [coughs] I took him there a few times. On errands.
Yuusuke: A date? That's cute.
Kurama: [rolls his eyes]
Yuusuke: Before or after you got together?
Kurama: Both.
Yuusuke: Aww, another lost opportunity. Would've been fun to tease you two about that.
Hiei: [snorts] Sucks to be you.
Yuusuke: [raspberries]
>The commander smirked. "You drank too much," he assumed. Janeway shot him a sheepish look. "So...Does this 'remedy' of your grandmother's work?"
Koenma: [Janeway] No, it's just a stereotype. [blinks at Yuusuke] Sorry, that was really reaching.
Yuusuke: S'alright.
Kurama: [yawns] I still think they should have been a couple.
Yuusuke: So should've Luke and Han, but you know how that turned out.
Kuwa: Fanboys.
Koenma: And they say Star Wars fanatics and Trekkies don't get along.
Kurama: We don't. We tolerate each other.
Yuusuke: [snorts]
Hiei: [yawns] This fic is boring.
Yuusuke: [snidely] That's because it's Star Trek.
Koenma: Oh no, I inadvertently started a fandom war...
Yuusuke: [kisses him] I was joking, K-chan.
Koenma: [kisses him back] Good.
>Janeway nearly choked on her coffee. "I don't think I'm the only one in this room who got drunk last night." Chakotay blushed slightly. Janeway laughed. She turned to the replicator. "Coffee. Black." A mug appeared on the luminous white squares, and she passed it to Chakotay. "You'll have to find out if it works yourself."
Yuusuke: Ick. Black coffee.
Hiei: Agreed. Put some sugar in it.
Kurama: Or, in your case, add a bit of coffee to a cup of sugar.
Hiei: Mmm...
Kuwa: That's disgusting.
Yuusuke: Different strokes for different folks, ya know.
Kuwa: Still...
Yuusuke: Besides, Kurama probably wouldn't let him near that much sugar... Unless it involved sex.
Kurama: [kicks him]
Yuusuke: Itai!!!
Kuwa: Don't you get cavities from eating all that sugar?
Hiei: Cavities?
Kuwa: When your teeth hurt?
Hiei: Oh. Just yank 'em out. They grow back.
Kurama: [chuckles] The joy of being youkai.
Yuusuke: Lucky.
Hiei: [smirks]
>The tattooed man took a sip of the coffee and winced. "I hate black coffee..."
>Janeway snorted. "Too bad." She smiled. "So...how are our two honeymooners doing?"
Yuusuke: Well, if they're anything like the ones we know...
Hiei: [kicks him]
Yuusuke: Itai!
Koenma: Quit kicking him, please.
Hiei: He shouldn't be taking such an interest in our sex life. You should give him one of his own.
Koenma: [smiles slightly] Well...
Yuusuke: [snickers]
Hiei: [stares] Holy shit...
Kurama: [smiles] I'll be damned.
Kuwa: What?
Hiei: They had sex!
Kuwa: TMI!!
Yuusuke: [laughs] You'd think he'd be used to it by now.
Koenma: Well, from Kurama and Hiei, not from us.
Yuusuke: We didn't actually say anything, though. They did.
Koenma: True.
Hiei: Damn, why didn't we notice earlier?
Yuusuke: The mission.
Kurama: [winces] Please don't bring that up.
Yuusuke: [smirks] Oh, come on! That was hysterical!
Kurama: For you maybe.
Hiei: Shut it, Yuusuke.
Yuusuke: Okay, okay. I know I wouldn't be happy if that happened to K-chan...
Koenma: What happened?
Kuwa: Tentacle monster grabbed Kurama.
Yuusuke: [busts up laughing]
Kurama: [rolls his eyes] Not the way it sounds.
Koenma: Oh...
Hiei: Yuusuke and his stupid tentacle-rape hentai.
Kurama: I don't know what's so appealing about those...
Yuusuke: Neither do I, I just think they're funny.
Kurama: They're not. They're disturbing.
Yuusuke: Only if you get grabbed by one.
Kurama: [shivers slightly] Can we stop talking about this now?
Hiei: [glares at Yuusuke, pets Kurama's hair] It's okay, Imp.
Kurama: [leans into his touch] I know... It was just very disturbing.
Hiei: [kisses him gently]
Kurama: [smiles]
Hiei: [softly] I should've been watching better...
Kurama: [same] Don't blame yourself, Dragon. I should've moved farther away.
Hiei: [hugs him tightly, still softly] I could've lost you...
Kurama: [holds him close] But you didn't. You and the others saved me.
Hiei: Still...
Kurama: [kisses his Jagan] I know.
Hiei: [shivers lightly, captures Kurama's mouth]
Kurama: [deepens kiss, moaning softly]
Yuusuke: [softly, to Koenma] D'ya think they're okay...?
Koenma: [puts an arm around him, whispers] I think so. But maybe you shouldn't mention the shikonki thing for a while.
Yuusuke: [nods guiltily]
Koenma: [kisses his cheek]
Yuusuke: [smiles and snuggles against him]
>Chakotay feigned disdain. "Well, I wouldn't know." Janeway raised a knowing eyebrow, waiting for him to continue. "B'Elanna locked the door and encrypted the codes, and Tom disengaged the manual override." He raised an eyebrow. "Suggestions, Captain?"
Yuusuke: That's being more of a busy-body than me.
Hiei: [breaks away for air, gasps] Don't bet on that.
Yuusuke: I haven't tried to break into your house or anything though. That one time I walked in on you notwithstanding.
Hiei: [grumbles]
Kurama: That was an accident. We know that.
Yuusuke: Stupid Randy.
Hiei: [grumbles more, leans against Kurama]
Kurama: [pulls him into another kiss]
Hiei: [deepens the kiss]
>It was Janeway's turn to smirk. "Sabotaging the holodeck doors. A serious crime. I had better review this to decide their punishment." The captain pretended to think it over. "I'm afraid the only way to teach them a lesson would be to lock them up in the holodeck for three days. Alone."
Hiei: [mutters] Wish we could do that...
Kurama: [softly] We'd run out of food...
Hiei: [curls close to him] So?
Kurama: [wraps arms more securely around him, smiling] Maybe when we do the frappuccino thing.
Hiei: [smirks]
>"Harsh, Captain."
>Janeway started to reply, but she was cut off by a beep from the comm. "Yes?"
>"Captain," Seven of Nine's voice came over the comm. "Please report to Astrometrics."
>Janeway and Chakotay exchanged looks. "On my way," Janeway said smoothly, then cut the comm link. "I wonder what that's about..."
Yuusuke: Think we come into the fic now?
Kuwa: Who cares?
Yuusuke: I do, I'm bored.
Kurama: Janeway/Seven of Nine.
Yuusuke: Heh. Is that popular?
Kurama: I'd assume so. I try to avoid Star Trek fanfiction.
Yuusuke: Kirk/Spock is. And don't start thinking I've read it. Just saw it a lot while looking for Obi-Wan/Qui-Gon.
Hiei: [shrugs] The Original Series sucks compared to The Next Generation.
Yuusuke: I used to watch that! That and Quantum Leap. I think they were on the same channel...
Hiei: [snorts]
>"Not a clue, Captain," Chakotay said.
>Janeway headed toward the door. "I'd better find out. You have the conn."
>"Right, Captain."
Yuusuke: Forgive my Trek illiteracy, but isn't that supposed to be 'com'?
Kurama: I'm not sure...
Hiei: [shifts] Doesn't matter.
Kurama: [gasps] Hiei!
Hiei: [smirks] Yes?
Kurama: [nips his neck] Mmmm...
>* * *
Yuusuke: Space… the final --
Kurama: That was obvious. [goes back to Hiei's neck]
Hiei: [gasps]
>B'Elanna muttered something angrily to herself as the roller coaster looped again.
Yuusuke: Something? A curse word? The secret to Bush's Baked Beans? What?!
Kurama: [muffled] Close enough. She *is* a bitch.
Yuusuke: He sounds like when I complain about Pamidala.
Hiei: [shifts again]
Kurama: [gasps, starts sucking on Hiei's throat]
Koenma: Pamidala?
Yuusuke: My nickname for Padme.
Koenma: Ah.
>Tom had installed a new program in the holodeck. It was a theme park. Specifically, Six Flags Magic Mountain.
Yuusuke: I wanna go to Six Flags.
Koenma: [thoughtful look]
Yuusuke: [blinks at him] What?
Koenma: [shrugs] Nothing.
Yuusuke: Okay.
Kuwa: I hope the plot starts soon.
>Wonderful. I have a husband with the mentality of a four-year-old. And I thought honeymoons were supposed to be romantic! She tried to glower at Tom, but the look softened as she saw that he was clearly having the time of his life. Well...I guess I can put up with it. She made a mental note to drag him into the 'Tunnel of Love' ride, grinning as she thought about what his reaction would be.
Yuusuke: Nope, Kuwabara, still no plot in sight.
Kuwa: Damn...
Koenma: [Tom] Ew! Cooties!
Yuusuke: Huh?
Koenma: Well, she said 'four year old' mentality.
Yuusuke: [snickers, kisses Koenma]
Koenma: [deepens kiss, pulling him closer]
>Beside B'Elanna, Tom let out a loud whoop as the roller coaster fell forty feet into a pool of water. The half-Klingon beside him stared at him as he chuckled. "I'm WET, Tom!"
Kurama: That was probably his intention.
Hiei: Mouth. Neck.
Kurama: Good idea. [goes back to nipping at his neck]
Hiei: Mmmm...
Kuwa: Wet t-shirt contest?
Yuusuke: [yawns] Very bored now.
Koenma: It's probably just going to get worse.
Yuusuke: [sarcastic] Oh. Great.
Koenma: I know...
>Tom was still laughing. "Computer, change B'Elanna Torres' clothing. Program Paris Alpha Zeta. Immediately, a rather skimpy bathing suit appeared on B'Elanna.
Yuusuke: Those end quotes must've found Harry's invisibility cloak...
Koenma: You mean instead of Snape?
Yuusuke: ... I read a fic like that once.
Kurama: Yuusuke.
Kuwa: No Snarry!
Yuusuke: So sue me for not liking Harry/Draco.
Kurama: [shrugs] I'm not fond of that, either.
Yuusuke: What's your ship then?
Kurama: [smirks] Fred/George.
Yuusuke: Yeah! Twincest!
Hiei: Ick.
Yuusuke: In HP, not our show.
Hiei: Still...
Kurama: [kisses his Jagan]
Hiei: Mmmm... [nuzzles him]
>"TOM!"
Yuusuke: [B’Elanna] This makes me look fat!
Kurama: [starts laughing]
Yuusuke: [buffs nails] Yeah, I still got it.
Kurama: [giggles into Hiei's neck]
Hiei: [smiles]
Kuwa: This fic sucks.
Koenma: We know.
>"Alright, alright already! Computer, change B'Elanna Torres' clothing. Program Paris Beta Four." A pair of slacks and a short-sleeved shirt declaring 'I'm with stupid' with an arrow that pointed at Tom appeared on the half-Klingon. Seeing B'Elanna's glower, Tom sputtered. "I mean,program Paris Beta Two!"
Yuusuke: There's just no pleasing some irrational women.
Koenma: [pets him]
Hiei: We should get one of those shirts for Koenma.
Yuusuke: [snorts]
Koenma: Yuu-chan's smart.
Yuusuke: [smiles widely]
Koenma: [kisses him]
>This time a very comfortable pair of blue slacks and a matching blue muscle shirt appeared. B'Elanna grabbed Tom by the wrist and dragged him across the park. Tom paled as he saw where they were headed. "No, B'Elanna! Not there!" he whined.
Yuusuke: [Tom] No, not the dungeon with the bondage equipment! No!
Kurama: See, Tom, you should've stuck with Harry.
Yuusuke: Right on.
Hiei: [yawns] Bet it's the Tunnel of Love thing.
Kurama: Yeah.
Kuwa: Why does he sound like a little kid?
Koenma: "Four year old mentality"?
Hiei: That sounds perverse.
Yuusuke: Ew.
Hiei: [softly to Kurama] Not gonna say it...
Kurama: [smiles slightly]
Hiei: [kisses him]
Kurama: [deepens kiss]
Hiei: [rubs against him lightly]
Kurama: [moans softly]
>"It's my turn," B'Elanna retorted, brushing past the attendant and shoving Tom into the huge swan boat.
Yuusuke: [B’Elanna] You’re gonna be romantic whether you like it or not!
Koenma: [Tom] Awwww... Okay... [kisses Yuusuke deeply]
Yuusuke: [wraps his arms around Koenma, pulling him closer]
Kuwa: [sighs]
Yuusuke: [pulls away from Koenma] Alright, alright.
>The attendant smiled. "You two lovebirds have a good time." He started the ride.
>"But it doesn't go fast," Tom was heard to complain before the boat floated out of earshot.
>The attendant chuckled, shaking his head. "Kids."
Yuusuke: See? Even the fic notices the chan.
Kurama: [distractedly] Why is the attendant acting like an AI?
Hiei: [licking his neck]
Kurama: Mnnn...
>~*~
Koenma: [sings] You are my lucky star...
Yuusuke: [smiles, kisses him]
Koenma: [deepens kiss]
Yuusuke: [moves to sit in between his legs, not breaking the kiss]
Kuwa: [stays quiet]
>Kurama sighed tiredly, waiting impatiently for Koenma to finish processing the Reikai Tantei's last mission so they could go home.
Kuwa: Here we are. Finally.
Hiei: [glances up] Hn? Oh.
Yuusuke: [snuggles back against Koenma] I was beginning to wonder if we were in this at all.
Kurama: [somewhat breathless] Kind of wish we weren't.
>He hoped it was soon. I've missed enough school as it is.
>Yuusuke groaned. "Now we have to go back to school!"
Yuusuke: Look, I was reading your thoughts.
Kurama: Oh joy.
Hiei: He has better things to do than go to school.
Kurama: [smirks]
Yuusuke: [deadpan] Like you?
Kurama: Of course.
Hiei: [smirks]
Kurama: [pulls him in for another kiss]
Hiei: [grinds his hips against Kurama's]
Kurama: [gasps against Hiei's mouth]
Hiei: [breaks the kiss and leans against Kurama, smiling]
Kurama: [buries his face in Hiei's hair]
>Kuwabara lamented with him. "Yeah...And Takenaka's gonna be breathin' down our necks! This sucks, ne, Kurama?"
Yuusuke and Kuwabara: Suck, suck, suck!
Kurama: [giggles lightly]
>Kurama shrugged and glanced at Hiei. The fire demon was leaning against the wall, his arms crossed over his chest, as usual, keeping his distance.
Kurama: Until Kurama closed the distance between them...
Hiei: [chuckles] Randy fox.
Yuusuke: [laughs loudly]
Kuwa: It wasn't that funny, Urameshi.
Yuusuke: Was to me.
>Kurama frowned as the fire demon's muscles trembled slightly. Hiei was obviously exhausted. He'd had to use his Jagan for nearly five days straight because of the demon that they had been ordered to capture. The demon had masked his ki signature so well that even Kuwabara could not detect him. In fact, the demon had only shown up as a shadow to Hiei and then only when he was using his Jagan. The demon had ended up being extremely powerful, and Hiei had been forced to use the Kokoryuha to finish him off when Yuusuke had been knocked out.
Yuusuke: I wasn't knocked out. I was probably trying to get out of the fic.
Hiei: Right.
Koenma: [shifts uncomfortably]
Yuusuke: [twines his hands with Koenma's] I'm okay, K-chan.
Koenma: [softly] I know.
>Koenma brought the Reikai Seal down on the document with a loud 'thunk'. "You may leave now," the infant-godling said in his strange voice.
Yuusuke: I like his voice.
Koenma: [blushes, hugs Yuusuke]
Yuusuke: [takes a slightly sharp breath]
Koenma: [frowns worriedly] Yuu-chan? What is it?
Yuusuke: It's nothing.
Koenma: You sure?
Yuusuke: [shrugs] Yeah. Almost sneezed. Mom's prolly talking shit about me.
Koenma: [still frowning] Alright...
Yuusuke: [turns slightly and kisses him] Don't worry.
Koenma: [softly] If there was something wrong, you would tell me, right?
Yuusuke: [same] I'm fine, K-chan. It's nothing.
Koenma: Alright...
Yuusuke: [shifts slightly]
Koenma: [gasps, kisses him deeply]
Yuusuke: [returns the kiss]
>Kurama smiled and followed Yuusuke and Kuwabara out the door. Hiei brought up the rear, walking slowly. The red head lagged behind and put a hand on Hiei's shoulder gently. "You okay?" he asked softly.
>"Hn," was Hiei's response.
Yuusuke: [gasps] Hiei bringing up the rear? He seme all of a sudden?
Kurama: [gives him a look]
Hiei: [softly] I was probably just enjoying the view.
Kurama: [smiles]
Hiei: [kisses his chin]
Kurama: [nuzzles him]
Hiei: [rests his forehead in the crook of Kurama's neck; kisses his collar]
Kurama: [rubs Hiei's back]
Hiei: [sighs contentedly]
>"I know this mission took a lot out of you. Did you want me to get you some dinner?"
>Hiei's red eyes flicked to the kitsune for a moment, then flicked away. “Whatever,” he muttered.
Kurama: [softly] I forgot to mention the food would be served on me...
Hiei: [same] Well, then, I graciously accept.
Kurama: [smiles]
>Kurama took that as a yes. "Besides, I want some peace and quiet, and I know we won't get it by hanging with those two." Kurama pointed at Yuusuke and Kuwabara, who were arguing loudly about who would beat who's butt in a 'man's battle'.
Yuusuke: Please. I would so win.
Kuwa: Oi!
Kurama: [rolls eyes] I can't breathe, someone's ego has suddenly become very suffocating.
Hiei: [giggles] Besides, foodsex isn't an option with them around.
Kurama: Mmm.
Kuwa: Gross.
Yuusuke: [whispers to Koenma] Actually, I wouldn't mind trying that...
Koenma: [blushes brightly]
Yuusuke: [kisses him]
>Hiei smirked. "Hn. Stupid fox."
Hiei: Idiot clone.
Kurama: [kisses his temple]
Hiei: [nuzzles him]
Kurama: [softly] I never have minded you calling me that, Dragon. It was always more of an endearment.
Hiei: [same] I can call you that. It's off limits to the clones.
Kurama: [kisses him]
>"Ne, what do you want to eat?" Hiei shrugged. "Pizza? Sushi? McDonald's?" Hiei shrugged again. "Fine. I want pizza. You okay with that?" Another shrug. Kurama sighed. This is going to be a loooong night...
Kurama: [smirks] That sounds promising.
Hiei: Horny fox.
Kurama: I just can't resist you.
Hiei: [smirks] Nor I you.
Yuusuke: If your clone picks McDonald’s, it should be beaten.
Kurama: [wrinkles nose] McDonalds's food makes me sick, to be honest.
Hiei: [somewhat disgusted] I've heard enough about it to never want to go there.
Kuwa: That "Super Size Me" documentary is coming out on Friday, you know...
Yuusuke: Hoo boy.
Kurama: I wouldn't mind going to see it.
Yuusuke: Don't really know if I want to yet.
Koenma: Why not?
Yuusuke: [shrugs] Dunno.
>"Oi! Kurama!" Kurama looked up. They had reached the portal. Yuusuke grinned. "See ya around. You too Hiei." He jumped through the portal.
Kurama: - to chase down that missing comma.
Hiei: [snorts]
>"See ya, Kurama! Later, Shrimp!"
>"Hn. Baka." There was a tiny smirk on the fire demon's face. Kuwabara shot him a dirty look and jumped through the portal as well.
Yuusuke: That's pretty normal for those two.
Kuwa: Hmph.
Hiei: [rolls his eyes]
>Kurama turned to his vertically challenged friend. "Shall we?"
Kurama: - dance?
Hiei: Only if it's naked and in bed.
Kurama: [giggles]
Yuusuke: Vertically challenged? That's a new one.
Koenma: So is this crossover.
Yuusuke: Huh?
Koenma: YYH/Star Trek. Never seen it before.
Hiei: The crossover or Star Trek?
Koenma: The crossover.
Kurama: You'd heard of it before?
Koenma: No, I meant that I hadn't... [softly] I’m becoming tempted never to speak again...
Yuusuke: [same] That'd be a travesty.
Koenma: [smiles]
Kurama: By the way, Yuusuke, Hiei isn't challenged in *any* area. [gropes to punctuate this]
Hiei: [jerks upward] Kurama!
Yuusuke: [covers his ears]
Kurama: [snickers]
>Hiei shrugged, and they walked through the gate together.
Kuwa: Is it over?
Hiei: [breathily] Hope so. Better things to do.
Botan's voice: Uh, sorry, guys. You're supposed to read chapter two as well.
Kurama: Damn it.
Koenma: [sighs]
Yuusuke: [nuzzles him] Let's go back to your room after this. *If* it ever ends.
Koenma: [blushes slightly] It will. Hopefully soon...
Hiei: [scowls] It better hurry up.
>Flux
>by Rose Thorne
>A Star Trek: Voyager/YYH crossover
>~STANDARD DISCLAIMERS APPLY~
Yuusuke: [random author] I didn't mean to use your characters that you created! Don't hurt meee!
Koenma: [pats his head] Did we *really* need to see that all again?
Hiei: [breathily] Who's looking...?
Koenma: [rolls his eyes] The ones who aren't entertaining themselves carnally.
Yuusuke: [smiles] And why aren't we?
Koenma: ... Point taken.
Kurama: [giggles]
>Chapter 2
Yuusuke: Send in the Clones. [grimaces] God, I hate that movie.
Kuwa: What movie?
Yuusuke: Episode two!
Hiei: [annoyed] Lucas should burn.
Yuusuke: It just keeps getting worse and worse. The only reason I'm going to see Episode Three is because I wanna see Obi chuck pretty boy into the lava pit.
Hiei: [fascinated] He does?
Yuusuke: [nods] Yeah. You know those scars on Anakin's head in Return of the Jedi? And the fact that he can't breath without the mask on? Well, it's because he gets pretty badly scorched in the lava pit. Palpatine probably saved him.
Hiei: Fire...
Yuusuke: The effects probably will be as shitty as the last one -
Kurama: Shh. You'll spoil his fun.
Hiei: [grins] I want to go see that in theatres.
Kuwa: I'm not going with. I don't wanna explain shit to the fire department.
Hiei: [smirks]
Kurama: [shakes his head and kisses Hiei's forehead]
Hiei: [shifts slightly, stretching]
Kurama: [stifles a gasp, smiling]
Hiei: [blinks, smiles]
Kurama: [kisses him]
Hiei: [returns the kiss]
>Kurama blinked as he exited the portal with Hiei. This isn't the Ningenkai... he thought, confused. What happened?
Koenma: Your house fell on the wicked witch.
Yuusuke: No, demi-human.
Koenma: [smiles] No one’s going to get that. [viva la Maze!]
Kuwa: They stepped through the vortex.
Yuusuke: The one in Hiei's cloak?
Kuwa: Yeah.
Yuusuke: Well, the way they're going, I wouldn't doubt it.
Hiei: [kicks at him, continues kissing Kurama]
Yuusuke: Itai! Well, it's true!
>They had emerged in a cold, sparse room that seemed to be entirely gray. The stangest thing was the windows. They looked out on...nothing. Total blackness, except for a few points of light.
Kurama: [breathlessly] If I'm not able to tell what stars are at this point, my clone is in trouble.
Yuusuke: You probably wouldn't realize it up close, though.
Kurama: [would respond, but Hiei's pulled him back into another lip-lock.]Yuusuke: Heh. I win.
>The people in the room looked extremely frightened by their sudden appearance. They're ningens...I think... There were a few very odd-looking people in the crowd, none of them possessing ki.
Yuusuke: And who looked nothing at all like humans, I'd bet.
Hiei: [gasping] Gee, y'think?
Kurama: [sucking on his neck]
Hiei: [turns and straddles him to offer him more room]
Kurama: [takes full advantage of this]
Hiei: [moans]
Yuusuke: Rabbits.
Hiei: [breathily] 'least I get some.
Yuusuke: [smiles very slowly] Heh.
Kurama: [nips Hiei] That was mean, Dragon.
Yuusuke: No, it's alright. Just so happens he's wrong, that's all.
Hiei: [nuzzles Kurama]
Kurama: [kisses his Jagan]
Hiei: [whispers] I know, I shouldn't have said it.
Kurama: [nuzzles him back]
Koenma: [kisses Yuusuke's temple]
Yuusuke: [kisses Koenma's chin]
Koenma: [hugs him]
>The kitsune grabbed Hiei's shoulder as the fire demon unsheathed his katana.
Yuusuke: [Kurama] I'm not *that* much of an exhibitionist. Put that away.
Kurama: [starts laughing]
>"Hiei...In case you haven't noticed, we're outnumbered. And this is definitely not the Ningenkai."
Yuusuke: [Hiei] What was your first clue?
Koenma: [Kurama] The yellow brick road?
Hiei: [kisses Kurama to try to get him to stop laughing]
Kurama: [moans, giggling against his mouth]
Hiei: [grinds his hips]
Kurama: [groans louder, moving with him]
Hiei: [moans]
>"Being outnumbered has never bothered us before, stupid fox!" the youkai growled at his companion. Dammit...He's right! We don't even know where we are!
Kuwa: You're in the vortex in your cloak.
Yuusuke: [mildly] All this just because Kurama was trying to get into Hiei's pants...
Kurama: [breathlessly] Don't have to try.
Hiei: [smirks at him, breathing heavily himself]
Kurama: [pulls Hiei's shirt up and attacks his stomach]
Hiei: [moans, tangles his hands in Kurama's hair]
Kurama: [pulls him closer]
>A hissing sound was heard, and a door opened in the wall.
Kuwa: To reveal a snake?
Yuusuke: No, it's that *whoosh* sound.
Kuwa: What is?
Yuusuke: The hissing sound.
Koenma: Guess their hearing is off.
Yuusuke: Guess. [shifts]
Koenma: [gasps] Yuu-chan!
Yuusuke: [smirks] K-chan?
Koenma: [kisses the side of Yuusuke's neck]
Yuusuke: [tilts his neck in open invitation]
Koenma: [accepts the invitation]
Yuusuke: [moans happily]
Kuwa: [snores softly]
>A group of people stepped in, carrying objects that looked very much like guns. They pointed them at Kurama and Hiei.
>"Hiei," Kurama whispered as he felt the fire demon tense. "Put your katana away..."
Yuusuke: [Kurama] They don't like it that your phallic symbol is bigger than theirs.
Kurama: [snickers] Way bigger.
Hiei: [smirks]
Koenma: [continues nibbling Yuusuke's neck]
Yuusuke: [shifts again]
Koenma: [moans]
>The fire demon stared at the redhead. "Nani?! No!" He looked shocked at the idea.
Yuusuke: [Hiei, little kid] I wanted to slice something! It's not fair!
Kurama: [Hiei, suggestively] I don't want to put my sword away.
Hiei: [Kurama, same] Mmm, well, that's completely different.
Koenma: Exhibitionists.
Hiei: Voyeurs.
Yuusuke: [snickers]
>Kurama tightened his grip on the sanjiyan's shoulder. "If you don't, they'll shoot us. You may be able to dodge it, but I might not! We don't know what kind of guns those are! Do you want me to be killed?!"
Hiei: [mildly insulted; muffled against Kurama's neck] No.
Kurama: [hugs him] I know that.
Yuusuke: Did it say what pairing this was?
Koenma: No, but I think it's gen.
Yuusuke: Meh.
Kuwa: "With Yuusuke around, I couldn't tell."
Yuusuke: [snickers]
Hiei: [muffled] When'd you wake up?
Kuwa: Just now. [yawns. Looks like he's barely awake anyway]
Hiei: Good. Your snoring was obnoxious.
Kuwa: [glares]
Yuusuke: Truthfully, I didn't notice...
Kurama: You were busy.
Yuusuke: [raspberries]
Kuwa: [grumbles] Gonna go back to sleep.
Hiei: Good.
Yuusuke: Rock.
Kuwa: Huh?
Yuusuke: New slang. Bite me.
Kuwa: [sleepily] No, thanks.
Koenma: Think I will though. [nips Yuusuke's neck]
Yuusuke: [giggles]
>Hiei flinched minutely. I hadn't thought about that...Damn! He sheathed his katana, refusing to look at Kurama.
Yuusuke: Look! It's Kurama/Hiei!
Kurama: [smirks] "Rock."
Hiei: [snickers] Hard.
Kurama: Mmm. [gropes Hiei's lap]
Hiei: [gasps] Imp!
Kurama: [grins] Dragon?
Hiei: [kisses him]
>Less than a second later, all hell broke loose.
Yuusuke: Uh...
Koenma: This doesn't bode well.
Yuusuke: Can't imagine it doing *anything* well.
Kurama: [licking Hiei's neck] It's not *that* bad.
Hiei: [gasps softly] Don't care.
Kurama: [smirks]
Koenma: I'd prefer not to deal with that kind of paperwork, personally.
Yuusuke: [winces] Ick. I wouldn't see you for a while.
Koenma: [kisses his neck] Wouldn't happen.
Yuusuke: [turns and kisses him] That's good.
Koenma: [smiles, plays with Yuusuke's hair]
Yuusuke: [smiles back]
Kuwa: [starts snoring again]
>* * *
Yuusuke: [hums Sailor Stars happily]
Koenma: [kisses him]
>Neelix stared as a light flared near one of the windows. What's that?! Two boys appeared, looking confused. One had long, red hair and large green eyes set in a face that might make some people mistaken him for a girl.
Yuusuke: Unless they looked down.
Hiei: [snickers]
Kurama: [blushes lightly]
Hiei: [shifts]
Kurama: Gah! Dragon!
Hiei: Definitely not a girl. [smirks]
Kurama: [pulls Hiei's top up and attacks his stomach]
Hiei: [gasps]
Yuusuke: Bet Kuwabara's glad to be asleep.
Koenma: Mm. [kisses Yuusuke's neck]
Yuusuke: [turns and kisses him deeply]
>The other one was very short, with jet black hair and a startling white starburst above his forehead. He looked young, but Neelix knew well enough that looks could be deceiving. The smaller one pulled a sword from behind his back in a movement so fast that Neelix could barely see it. The Talaxian tapped his communicator slowly. "Neelix to Security," he whispered, his voice shaking slightly as he said two words that everyone on Voyager had come to dread. "Intruder alert!"
Yuusuke: [pulls away from Koenma with effort] And everyone began running around like chickens with no heads.
Hiei: [gasps] That'd be an improvement.
Kurama: [snickers against his chest]
Hiei: [grins]
>The long-haired boy put a hand on the smaller one's shoulder, mumbling something that Neelix couldn't hear. I probably wouldn't be able to understand it, either... the Talaxian conceded. The small one said something that was, again, inaudible.
Kurama: [fiddling with Hiei's pants] Definitely not small...
Hiei: [smirks, runs hands through Kurama's hair]
Kurama: [kisses him deeply]
>Just then, the door to the Mess Hall opened and a security team led by Commander Tuvok entered, carrying phaser rifles. The black-haired intruder raised his weapon slightly, but turned his head toward his companion as the redhead said something. The boy retorted angrily, but the redhead cut him off, also angry. The black haired boy looked startled. The weapon disappeared.
Yuusuke: Into Kurama's mouth. No, his chest! He's not the new Rose Bride.
Kurama: [licks Hiei's chin] My prince.
Hiei: [blinks] Prince?
Kurama: [smiles] Well, if I'm Anthy then you're Utena.
Yuusuke: Or Akio.
Kurama: [smacks]
Yuusuke: Itai!
Koenma: [kisses him] You did deserve that one.
Yuusuke: [nods, rests against him]
Hiei: [softly] I don't want pink hair.
Kurama: No. I like your black. [kisses him gently]
Hiei: [returns the kiss]
>A phaser rifle went off as the weapon disappeared, and the redhead collapsed.
Yuusuke: Oh, they did *not*!
Koenma: They did.
Yuusuke: They're so dead.
Hiei: [nods, goes back to kissing Kurama]
>His small companion looked shocked for an instant. Then the weapon reappeared in his hand. He yelled something in a strange language,
Yuusuke: [Hiei] Shi ne!
Hiei: [ignores him, sucks on Kurama's neck]
Koenma: It probably is Japanese.
Kurama: [gasps] I'd hope so.
>but didn't have a chance to move as five phaser beams slammed into him. The boy was propelled back into the wall. He slid to the floor, the sword slipping from his fingers.
Yuusuke: Whoa... Clone-Kurama was wrong. He couldn't dodge.
Koenma: That'll sting in the morning. Five of those?
Yuusuke: [winces] Yeowch. [reminded of his own hidden injury probably]
Hiei: It'd probably just knock me out for longer. They're just on stun.
>Tuvok calmly tapped his communicator and ordered that the intruders be transported to Sick Bay for observation.
Yuusuke: The mating habits of demons?
Koenma: Not *that* kind of observing.
Kurama: Though they'd probably end up observing that, too.
Hiei: [snickers]
Yuusuke: Sounds like a hurt/comfort lemon. Waking up in a "hospital" after you'd both been injured.
Kurama: You're reaching too hard.
Yuusuke: [shrugs]
Hiei: Voyeur.
Yuusuke: [raspberries]
Hiei: Ew. Spit.
Kurama: Besides, he can't take you up on that offer.
Koenma: [hugs Yuusuke] 'course not.
Yuusuke: Oi! I didn't mean it that way!
Hiei: Sure you didn't.
Yuusuke: [pouts; crosses his arms over his chest]
Koenma: [kisses him] Don't let their teasing get to you.
Yuusuke: 'kay. [pulls him closer]
Koenma: [pets him]
>As the two boys disappeared, Neelix hurried up to the commander. "What are you going to do with them, Mr. Vulcan?"
Yuusuke: [Tuvok] Poke them with sticks to see if they're alive.
Hiei: He better not.
>Tuvok looked at him expressionlessly. "That, Mr. Neelix, is for Captain Janeway to decide." He left the Mess Hall.
Yuusuke: And that reminds me of Vader and Palpy for some odd reason.
Hiei: If you start going on about them slashed...
Yuusuke: No, no. [mumbles] Don't need to, the Return of the Jedi book speaks for itself.
Kurama: Oh, don't start that again.
Yuusuke: Dude, it's *there*.
Hiei: I will hurt you. Badly.
Yuusuke: Alright, alright! Just joking.
Hiei: [rolls his eyes]
>The crew members mulled around for a few minutes, then went back to what they'd been doing. Neelix sighed. I wonder what will happen to those two boys...
>* * *
>Back on Earth, centuries earlier...
Yuusuke: O-kay.
Hiei: [leans against Kurama] It's not over yet?
Kurama: Seems to be a fair bit of text left, Dragon. [kisses his Jagan]
Hiei: [sighs, relaxes]
>* * *
>Yuusuke watched as Kuwabara exited the portal. Now to wait for Kurama and Hiei... the ningen thought to himself.
Yuusuke: Since they've now been transported centuries into the future, that's gonna be some wait.
Kurama: [dryly] Apparently.
Koenma: Just contemplating that paperwork gives me a headache.
Yuusuke: [kisses him] I guess I need to take your mind off paperwork, hm? [mischievous wink]
Koenma: [grins] Sounds like a good idea.
Kuwa: [snorts, sleepily] It over yet?
Yuusuke: Nah, man, go back to sleep. [kisses Koenma's neck]
Kuwa: 'kay. [starts snoring again]
>He'd never quite trusted the portals, and he usually waited until his entire team got through before leaving. Not that I'd be able to do anything if something went wrong, he thought angrily to himself.
Yuusuke: Irony. Don’t you love it.
Kurama: Not especially.
Koenma: It’s like a campy horror movie.
Yuusuke: About zombies.
Koenma: George Romero this is not.
Hiei: [being distracted some more by his fox] Who?
Yuusuke: Remember Dawn of the Dead?
Hiei: Vaguely.
Yuusuke: I kept going on and on comparing and contrasting it to the original during the movie.
Hiei: [too busy with Kurama to reply]
Yuusuke: Oh, forget it. I can’t have a conversation with you people when you’re like that.
Kurama: [chuckles]
>Kuwabara looked at the portal with a strange expression on his face.
>Yuusuke glanced at him. "Nani? What's wrong?"
Yuusuke: [Kuwabara] I can't get this strange expression off...
Hiei: Gee, I wonder why.
Kurama: A bit too literal there. You're trying too hard, Yuusuke.
Yuusuke: Piffle.
Koenma: [kisses his neck] Just relax.
Hiei: Doesn't sound like you're talking about the MST.
Koenma: [blushes furiously]
Yuusuke: Wouldn't you like to know?
Hiei: [snorts] Not particularly.
>The psychic ningen scratched his head. "Something doesn't feel right..." he muttered. "But I don't know-"
Yuusuke: [Kuwabara] I mean, well, it is my first time --
Hiei: Yuusuke. No.
Kurama: It seems he's talking about Yuusuke/Kuwabara slash.
Yuusuke: I was reaching again, okay!?!
Koenma: Prolly a good thing he's asleep... [pets Yuusuke's hair]
Hiei: [snickers] I'm sure someone can send him the link to the MSTs for kicks.
Yuusuke: It was just a riff! [pulls his waist in a bad angle and winces] Ouch...
Koenma: [frowns] Are you okay?
Yuusuke: [smiles reassuringly] Yeah! Don't worry, K-chan.
Koenma: [frowns deeper] Are you sure? You keep wincing...
Yuusuke: [sighs] It's just a little injury. It's not that bad.
Koenma: [hugs him gently] Why didn't you tell me, Yuu-chan?
Yuusuke: [sheepish] I didn't want you to worry.
Koenma: I worry more if you don't tell me.
Yuusuke: [kisses him] I'll have Botan look at it when the mst is over, kay?
Koenma: [smiles] Okay. [kisses him back]
>The portal suddenly exploded! Yuusuke and Kuwabara were propelled backward a few feet, but Yuusuke jumped up immediately. "KURAMA! HIEI!"
Hiei: We can't hear you.
Kurama: Too busy.
Hiei: [smirks]
Yuusuke: "In space, no one can hear you scream..."
Koenma: [chuckles]
Yuusuke: [kisses his cheek]
>Kuwabara wrinkled his nose. Instead of being electric-blue like it normally was, the portal's aura had become an angry red. The carrot-top gasped and grabbed Yuusuke's arm.
Yuusuke: Hey, I need that arm!
Hiei: Kuwabara realized how much ningens smell.
Kurama: [giggles]
Yuusuke: [glares]
Hiei: [smirks] It's true.
Koenma: You smell alright to me, Yuu-chan.
Yuusuke: [grins] That's what matters, anyway.
Koenma: [kisses him]
Hiei: [snorts]
Kurama: [whispers to Hiei] Of course, Koenma's opinion is biased...
Hiei: [smirks, kisses him]
Kurama: [runs hands through his hair]
>"Yuusuke...The portal's aura!" His half-demon friend stared at him. "The Netherworld!"
Yuusuke: [sarcastic] Well. That's a shocker.
Kurama: [softly] Well, we *did* kill their leader.
Yuusuke: Yeah. But, in retrospect, it was neat watching Hiei level whole city blocks...
Hiei: [snorts] Destructomaniac.
Yuusuke: [sweat drops]
Kurama: Hiei, be fair. He's probably a nymphomaniac, too.
Koenma: Er.
Yuusuke: [blushes]
Hiei: [snickers]
Kuwa: [snores on]
Hiei: [whispers] It was neat being able to level city blocks...
Kurama: [giggles]
Yuusuke: I can just imagine how strong your kids will be someday...
Hiei: [shrugs] I gained power out of desperation.
Yuusuke: Still.
Kurama: [nuzzles Hiei] We'll see when the time arises itself.
Hiei: [smiles] I know.
>Yuusuke gaped at him for a moment. "The Netherworld?! NO!" he yelled. It can't be the Netherworld! "But...If it's the Netherworld, then..."
Yuusuke: Then...
Hiei: Then we're fucked.
Kurama: Ick. I hope not literally.
Yuusuke: Because I can think of someone I'd rather be fucked by... [blushes]
Hiei: [snorts] I'd hope so.
Koenma: [blushes, nuzzles Yuusuke's neck]
Kurama: Besides, it's probably Hiei and me who would be fucked, not you.
Yuusuke: Like you said, I hope not literally.
Hiei: Better not be.
>Kuwabara looked away. "Then they're probably dead. I don't feel their ki. It started to come out of the portal, but it's gone!"
Yuusuke: Just... gone?
Koenma: Yeah. You know, like original ideas in George Lucas' mind.
Yuusuke: Ah.
Hiei: George Lucas had original ideas?
Yuusuke: Yeah, and he's fucking them up. He's adding *more* new stuff in the original trilogy when they come out on dvd. So far I've heard he's dubbing over Boba Fett's voice with the guy who plays Jango Fett. And the last time Luke sees the ghosts in RotJ? Hayden Christensen will be there instead of Old Anakin.
Hiei: Ugh. Money-making scheme. If he puts out new director's cuts, the otaku will spend more money.
Yuusuke: [nods] Sounds like him.
Kurama: Well, not to stereotype, but most of the older sci-fi otaku are D&D nerds still living in their parents' houses.
Koenma: Er... Yuusuke still lives with Atsuko...
Hiei: [throws back his head and laughs]
Yuusuke: [sweat drops] But I was never a D&D nerd!
Koenma: [kisses him] I know.
>Yuusuke blinked. "Kurama...and Hiei...They can't be dead! I don't believe it!"
Yuusuke: I wouldn't either, honestly.
Hiei: Wouldn't be much of a fic if we were.
Koenma: And I think I see the end of the blasted thing.
Yuusuke: Good. [shifts against him]
Koenma: [gasps] Yuu-chan!
Yuusuke: [smiles cheekily] K-chan?
Koenma: [blushes]
Yuusuke: [kisses him]
Koenma: [returns the kiss]
>"Yuuuusuke!!" a familiar voice yelled. "Yuuuusuke!" Botan landed in front of them, breathing heavily. "Yuusuke, there's a problem."
Yuusuke: [singing] I've got a theory, it's a demon, /a dancing demon... no, something isn't right there.
Hiei: Gee, I think that's obvious.
Kurama: What was that from?
Yuusuke: The Buffy musical.
Hiei: I'm officially disturbed.
Yuusuke: By the fact that it exists? Me too.
Hiei: No. That you *watched* it and know the lyrics.
Yuusuke: [sweat drops]
>The ningen lowered his head. "Yeah, I know. Kurama and Hiei..."
>Botan blinked. "How...how did you know?"
Yuusuke: Oh, no reason. We were just *standing right there.*
Hiei: [mutters] Twit.
Botan's voice: [embarrassed] That isn't me...
Hiei: [rolls eyes] I was referring to the clone.
Botan: [sounds more embarrassed] Oh.
Koenma: [sighs] Botan. This thing is almost over, right?
Botan: Yeah.
Yuusuke: Good.
Hiei: Agreed. I want a nap.
Kurama: [whispers] And I need to go shopping to stock up on food and caffeine...
Hiei: [blinks] We're out?
Kurama: [smiles] No, for... what we were talking about earlier.
Hiei: [smirks]
>Kuwabara spoke up. "They're dead aren't they." It wasn't a question. "The Netherworld did it, ne?"
>Botan flinched. "We don't know if they're dead or not...But it does involve the Netherworld..."
Yuusuke: Yes. So we've gathered.
Hiei: I guess they're repeating it for the dumber readers.
Koenma: Well, that's also supposing that they've seen the movie.
Yuusuke: [sounding dumb] Netherworld? Huh? Wha? [normal] Gah. I'm too tired to riff. Is this thing over yet?
Koenma: Almost.
Hiei: [smirks] Good.
Kurama: [licks his neck]
Hiei: [shifts]
Kurama: [rocks his hips with him]
Hiei: [gasps] K'rama...
Kurama: [throatily] I know, Dragon.
Hiei: [kisses him]
>The two boys looked at her expectantly. She looked away. "Well...Koenma can explain it better. Hop on." The boys just managed to grab her oar as she sped away.
Yuusuke: Hi ho, Silver, away!
Kurama: Out of this theatre.
Yuusuke: Right on.
Hiei: Good riddance!
Kurama: [brushes his hand over Hiei's crotch] Let's go home.
Hiei: [gasps] Yes.
[Notes: No ending this time. ^^; Technical difficulties. Don’t look at me like that. Just be glad I remembered to post this.]
Episode Twenty: We’re Not Finished Yet
Story: Flux
Story by: Rose Thorne
Msted by: Chrissy Sky
Note: I love Flux, it’s my favorite of Rose-sensei’s, so I suppose this truly was a labor of love. A labor because I didn’t remember a thing about Star Trek: Voyager. >_<
For personal reference - originally there was another fic up for dissection, which would have been co-MSTed by Chrislea, Rose, and myself. The author backed out after seeing what we’d done. But, the idea Chrislea and Rose gave me for the beginning I still wanted to do, so here it is. (Just wanted to tell ya’ll that it was their idea. Not that it’s a bad idea, it’s funny, and I don’t want to take complete credit for it. There, now that I got that out of my system. Onward!)
---
“Wow, a real mission,” Yuusuke Urameshi said contemplatively. He, Kazuma Kuwabara, Hiei, and Kurama were walking through a random patch of forest in the Ningenkai, looking for their target. According to Koenma’s briefing it was a low-level demon called Shikonki, and when it came into contact with humans it infected them, turning them into zombies.
“Is everyone sure they don’t see a projector anywhere? Text rolling up a screen?” joked the teenager. His hair was appropriately gelled back and he wore clothing that, if torn, ripped, and otherwise ruined beyond repair, would not be missed.
“Shut up, Urameshi,” Kuwabara grumbled, scowling. “We have to go into the theatre today anyway.”
After the briefing, Koenma had then hesitantly informed them that they would be returning to the faux-cinema after a two-month absence.
“You make it sound like there’s something I can do about that,” Yuusuke said sourly.
“Well, Koenma is your boyfriend. Can’t you get him to, like, talk to his dad or something?”
Yuusuke glanced back to see where the two other members of their party were. Hiei and Kurama were lagging behind, talking quietly. He shrugged at Kuwabara. “His dad doesn’t listen to him much. Dating me isn’t going to change that.”
“But maybe --”
“Shh!” Yuusuke ordered abruptly. The forest had suddenly gone eerily still, and he felt something. Kuwabara noticed it only half a second later. Kurama and Hiei were silent as well, the former reaching into his hair for a rose and the latter unsheathing his sword soundlessly.
Kurama felt the shikonki draw nearer, and moved right before it chose to strike, dodging to the side and calling forth his rose whip. He did not, however, account for the demon’s many tentacles. It wasn’t often he made mistakes like this, and he mentally cursed at himself, bringing up his whip to strike in turn. His arm was caught by one of the tentacles, and he found himself wrapped up so tightly that he couldn’t move.
This was not good.
Yuusuke and Kuwabara rushed forward to back the two demons up. Hiei was already on the attack. His movements were fast, which was normal for him, but Yuusuke noted that he was fighting slightly differently than his usual manner. He was pissed off, and the shikonki was losing its appendages rapidly.
They had always suspected something like this could happen, but how could anyone be fully prepared for it? For their lover to be in danger? Kurama would be infected soon and they had to hurry. Yuusuke couldn’t use his rei gun because Kurama was too near, and with the tentacles flaying as they were, he was afraid he’d hit the Youko accidentally. Hiei’s tactic seemed to be trying to cut Kurama loose, avoiding being grabbed himself, and trying to strike a lethal blow to the shikonki’s belly without hitting the redhead, all at the same time.
“Kuwabara!” he yelled. “See if you can get Kurama loose and I’ll guard your back.” He himself would be open, but if they could get Kurama free, Hiei could concentrate on killing the shikonki.
“Right,” Kuwabara said, his rei ken already in hand. Yuusuke kept the shikonki’s tentacles from grabbing hold of the orange-haired teen, and his idea had indeed been as reckless as it had first seemed. He was smacked sharply in the side once and felt a familiar pain that told him a rib had cracked, but managed to avoid all other hits. Kuwabara, having more freedom of movement, got Kurama’s arm free. The arm that still had hold of his rose whip.
The youko hurriedly cut himself loose the rest of the way, and Yuusuke turned his attention to their target only to find it unnecessary. Hiei stood panting over the shikonki, which was now in many, *many* pieces. He looked very satisfied with the victory.
Even though the creature was dead, Hiei couldn’t bring himself to feel relieved just yet and he ran over to his lover. What if they hadn’t been fast enough? What if Kurama was infected?
Kurama was standing at least, and inspecting the blood on his clothes with a disgusted look on his face. “Please tell me I can change before we go into the theatre.”
“You can borrow some clothes,” Yuusuke offered. He stood straight, hiding his injury.
“Are you alright?” Hiei asked in a low voice. He looked the fox over but couldn’t see any wounds, didn’t smell the youko’s blood.
Kurama gave him a small smile. He didn’t show it, but Hiei could tell this incident bothered him more than he wanted to admit. “I am. I haven’t been infected.”
“Phew!” Yuusuke sighed out. Kuwabara smiled broadly and patted Kurama’s shoulder.
“Well, job’s all done,” their leader announced. “Let’s get the hell outta here. There’s still the less messier, but more boring mission to deal with.”
*In this case,* Hiei thought grimly, *I think I prefer the boring one.* He kept close to Kurama all the way back to Reikai.
*
[later; sitting down on the couch from left to right: Kuwa, Koenma, Yuusuke, Hiei, and Kurama.]
Koenma: Are all of you *sure* you’re alright?
Kurama: Other than Yuusuke’s tank top being a bit drafty for in here, yes.
Hiei: [smirks] I can keep you warm.
Kurama: I know, Dragon. [smirks right back]
Yuusuke: [kisses Koenma’s cheek] No worries, K-chan. It was a pretty easy mission.
Koenma: [placated] Alright.
>Flux
Yuusuke: - Capacitor?
Hiei: What?
Kurama: Random reference.
Hiei: I know, but what it is?
Kurama: … Good question. What *is* it?
Yuusuke: You don’t remember Back to the Future?
Kurama: *Oh.*
Hiei: So, what is it?
Yuusuke: [laughs] I have no clue, but it’s in the movie.
Hiei: Whatever.
Koenma: Have you shown Hiei Back to the Future yet, Yuu-chan?
Yuusuke: I was thinking Kurama would do it.
Kurama: [shrugs] Never got around to it. It's six hours long, after all.
Hiei: [wrinkles nose] I'd rather you read those stupid books to me.
Kurama: [smirks] You just want to hear my voice.
Hiei: [smirks back] Obviously.
Yuusuke: Party pooper. It'd be fun.
Hiei: So is hearing Kurama's voice.
Kuwa: You hear that all the time.
Hiei: Point being?
Kuwa: [shrugs] I don't care, anyway. It'd probably be more fun without you.
Hiei: Whatever.
Kurama: That was rude, Kuwabara.
Yuusuke: Yeah, no doggy treat for you.
Kuwa: OI!!
>by Rose Thorne
Kurama: Her again.
Yuusuke: How many fics does she *have*?
Koenma: Too many.
Yuusuke: Does your dad just pick out one of hers when he can't find another or something?
Koenma: I'm not sure how my dad picks fics, honestly.
Kurama: Considering, I don't think I want to know.
Hiei: Agreed.
>A Star Trek: Voyager/YYH crossover
Kuwa: Another crossover?
Kurama: Oh joy.
Yuusuke: Ugh. Don’t mention last fic. It just reminds me of *that* movie.
Kuwa: What movie?
Yuusuke: Prisoner of Azkaban! Duh!
Kuwa: Oh. Are you still going on about that?
Yuusuke: Yes.
Koenma: It *was* awful.
Yuusuke: The only good part about it was seeing it with you.
Koenma: [blushes deeply]
Yuusuke: [kisses his cheek] Dude, Kurama, we started msting it!
Kurama: It's become second nature.
Hiei: I don't consider that a good thing.
Yuusuke: No, it really isn't...
Kuwa: Too bad this isn't a Star Wars crossover.
Kurama: That actually frightens me somewhat.
Yuusuke: I'd be Han. No doubt about it.
Hiei: I want to be Vader.
Kuwa: *That* would be scary.
Kurama: If he's Vader, I'd want to be Palpatine.
Yuusuke: Okay, now *that's* kinky.
Kuwa: Squick.
Yuusuke: Kuwabara'd probably be Chewie.
Kuwa: Oi! I would not!
Yuusuke: What's wrong with Chewie? He's cool, everybody loves Chewie.
Hiei: And a walking carpet, no less. You're perfect for the part.
Kuwa: OI!
Kurama: I'd probably end up being Leia...
Yuusuke: You're getting a complex with that whole "dude looks like a lady" thing.
Hiei: Who would be Luke?
Yuusuke: Well, if I'm Han, I want Koenma to be Luke.
Kuwa: What about R2D2 and Threepio?
Koenma: ... I'm probably Artoo.
Hiei: [snorts]
Yuusuke: Damn.
Koenma: I'd rather be Luke though...
Kuwa: It probably won't ever get written, though, so it doesn't matter.
Yuusuke: True.
>~STANDARD DISCLAIMERS APPLY~
>Chapter 1
>Captain Katherine Janeway sat in her ready room, armed with a cup of coffee.
Yuusuke: All enemies will be felled by the great power of The Coffee!
Kurama: The replacement for photon torpedoes.
Koenma: This MST is going to be interesting...
Hiei: I'd rather it just be over with.
Kurama: [smirks] Me too.
Yuusuke: Going to do some - ahem - light reading tonight?
Kurama: [smirks wider] If you want to call it that.
Hiei: [smirks back at him]
>Had a little too much to drink last night, she scolded herself wryly. There had been a celebration in the holodeck the night before and the entire crew had shown up at one point or another.
Yuusuke: Because there's nothing like a bunch of drunken space explorers.
Kurama: Too bad they didn't accidentally steer the ship into a planet.
Yuusuke: You never know. Maybe that's how we come in.
Hiei: Now *that* would be funny.
Kurama: [giggles]
Koenma: Hate to be a sourpuss, but it'd mean a LOT more work for me.
Yuusuke: [winces] But it'd be funny before *that* point, anyway.
Koenma: [nods]
>Janeway had put a skeleton crew in charge of the ship,
Yuusuke: And the monkey, don't forget the monkey.
Koenma: Not *that* type of skeleton crew.
Kuwa: Fanboy.
>and had given everyone one-hour shifts to allow them to attend. The party had been put together to celebrate the marriage - finally in Janeway's opinion - of Tom Paris and B'Elanna Torres.
Yuusuke: We should get the mst cancelled to celebrate Kurama and Hiei's marriage.
Koenma: We wish.
Kurama: [annoyed] B'Elanna is the bane of existence. She ruined the pure love of Tom and Harry.
Yuusuke: Spoken like a true fanboy!
Hiei: [snorts]
Kurama: Must've picked it up from you.
Kuwa: That makes it sound like it's a virus.
Hiei: It is. Yuusuke's diseased.
Yuusuke: Hey! [doesn't know whether to be hurt or amused]
Hiei: [smirks]
>The door chimed as the Captain was taking another sip of her coffee. She swallowed quickly and put the cup down. "Come in," she said.
>The door slid open to reveal Commander Chakotay. "Coffee? At this hour?"
Yuusuke: Anytime is coffee time.
Kuwa: Caffeine addict.
Kurama: No, that's Hiei.
Hiei: Mmmm... Caffeine...
Kurama: [smiles, kisses his forehead] Caffeine and sugar.
Hiei: Chocolate covered expresso beans … Mmmm.
Yuusuke: You should get him one of those chocolate frapuchino’s at Starbucks.
Kurama: [staring at Hiei] That would be almost too much to handle...
Hiei: [gives him an innocent look]
Kurama: [softly] It'd be an all-night sexathon...
Hiei: [pulls him into a kiss] Why not? Sounds fun.
Kurama: [drags Hiei into his lap, replies softly] This weekend, perhaps...
Hiei: [smirks] Okay.
Kurama: [sighs] I know I'm going to regret this...
Hiei: [pets his hair]
Kurama: [smiles] But it'll be worth it, I'm sure.
Hiei: Oh, it will be.
Yuusuke: [shakes his head, amused]
>Janeway smiled picking up her coffee mug again. "An old remedy of my grandmother's." She paused to take another sip of her coffee.
Koenma: I thought that was a wives tale.
Yuusuke: Dunno. Mom always wants coffee when she wakes up from a night of drinking, so...
Koenma: What do you do?
Yuusuke: I never get *that* drunk...
Kuwa: [snorts]
Yuusuke: [glares at him]
Kuwa: [innocent look]
Koenma: [softly] Well, there was that night Hiei made that beer.
Hiei: [grins] *That* was fun.
Yuusuke: We gotta do that again sometime.
Koenma: Drinking game to Back to the Future?
Yuusuke: Dude.
Hiei: I might actually consider that...
Yuusuke: Yeah, it'd be fun.
>Chakotay raised an eyebrow. "For what?" he questioned, truly curious.
>The captain hid a grin behind her cup of coffee. "Hangovers."
Yuusuke: Teehee! Hangovers are funny!
Kurama: That was disturbing, Yuusuke.
Yuusuke: [smiles sheepishly] Not the effect I was going for.
Hiei: [snorts] You sounded like one of those ningen females. The ones who are always at the mall.
Yuusuke: You go to the mall?
Hiei: What about it?
Yuusuke: Nothing, I just never thought about it before.
Kurama: [coughs] I took him there a few times. On errands.
Yuusuke: A date? That's cute.
Kurama: [rolls his eyes]
Yuusuke: Before or after you got together?
Kurama: Both.
Yuusuke: Aww, another lost opportunity. Would've been fun to tease you two about that.
Hiei: [snorts] Sucks to be you.
Yuusuke: [raspberries]
>The commander smirked. "You drank too much," he assumed. Janeway shot him a sheepish look. "So...Does this 'remedy' of your grandmother's work?"
Koenma: [Janeway] No, it's just a stereotype. [blinks at Yuusuke] Sorry, that was really reaching.
Yuusuke: S'alright.
Kurama: [yawns] I still think they should have been a couple.
Yuusuke: So should've Luke and Han, but you know how that turned out.
Kuwa: Fanboys.
Koenma: And they say Star Wars fanatics and Trekkies don't get along.
Kurama: We don't. We tolerate each other.
Yuusuke: [snorts]
Hiei: [yawns] This fic is boring.
Yuusuke: [snidely] That's because it's Star Trek.
Koenma: Oh no, I inadvertently started a fandom war...
Yuusuke: [kisses him] I was joking, K-chan.
Koenma: [kisses him back] Good.
>Janeway nearly choked on her coffee. "I don't think I'm the only one in this room who got drunk last night." Chakotay blushed slightly. Janeway laughed. She turned to the replicator. "Coffee. Black." A mug appeared on the luminous white squares, and she passed it to Chakotay. "You'll have to find out if it works yourself."
Yuusuke: Ick. Black coffee.
Hiei: Agreed. Put some sugar in it.
Kurama: Or, in your case, add a bit of coffee to a cup of sugar.
Hiei: Mmm...
Kuwa: That's disgusting.
Yuusuke: Different strokes for different folks, ya know.
Kuwa: Still...
Yuusuke: Besides, Kurama probably wouldn't let him near that much sugar... Unless it involved sex.
Kurama: [kicks him]
Yuusuke: Itai!!!
Kuwa: Don't you get cavities from eating all that sugar?
Hiei: Cavities?
Kuwa: When your teeth hurt?
Hiei: Oh. Just yank 'em out. They grow back.
Kurama: [chuckles] The joy of being youkai.
Yuusuke: Lucky.
Hiei: [smirks]
>The tattooed man took a sip of the coffee and winced. "I hate black coffee..."
>Janeway snorted. "Too bad." She smiled. "So...how are our two honeymooners doing?"
Yuusuke: Well, if they're anything like the ones we know...
Hiei: [kicks him]
Yuusuke: Itai!
Koenma: Quit kicking him, please.
Hiei: He shouldn't be taking such an interest in our sex life. You should give him one of his own.
Koenma: [smiles slightly] Well...
Yuusuke: [snickers]
Hiei: [stares] Holy shit...
Kurama: [smiles] I'll be damned.
Kuwa: What?
Hiei: They had sex!
Kuwa: TMI!!
Yuusuke: [laughs] You'd think he'd be used to it by now.
Koenma: Well, from Kurama and Hiei, not from us.
Yuusuke: We didn't actually say anything, though. They did.
Koenma: True.
Hiei: Damn, why didn't we notice earlier?
Yuusuke: The mission.
Kurama: [winces] Please don't bring that up.
Yuusuke: [smirks] Oh, come on! That was hysterical!
Kurama: For you maybe.
Hiei: Shut it, Yuusuke.
Yuusuke: Okay, okay. I know I wouldn't be happy if that happened to K-chan...
Koenma: What happened?
Kuwa: Tentacle monster grabbed Kurama.
Yuusuke: [busts up laughing]
Kurama: [rolls his eyes] Not the way it sounds.
Koenma: Oh...
Hiei: Yuusuke and his stupid tentacle-rape hentai.
Kurama: I don't know what's so appealing about those...
Yuusuke: Neither do I, I just think they're funny.
Kurama: They're not. They're disturbing.
Yuusuke: Only if you get grabbed by one.
Kurama: [shivers slightly] Can we stop talking about this now?
Hiei: [glares at Yuusuke, pets Kurama's hair] It's okay, Imp.
Kurama: [leans into his touch] I know... It was just very disturbing.
Hiei: [kisses him gently]
Kurama: [smiles]
Hiei: [softly] I should've been watching better...
Kurama: [same] Don't blame yourself, Dragon. I should've moved farther away.
Hiei: [hugs him tightly, still softly] I could've lost you...
Kurama: [holds him close] But you didn't. You and the others saved me.
Hiei: Still...
Kurama: [kisses his Jagan] I know.
Hiei: [shivers lightly, captures Kurama's mouth]
Kurama: [deepens kiss, moaning softly]
Yuusuke: [softly, to Koenma] D'ya think they're okay...?
Koenma: [puts an arm around him, whispers] I think so. But maybe you shouldn't mention the shikonki thing for a while.
Yuusuke: [nods guiltily]
Koenma: [kisses his cheek]
Yuusuke: [smiles and snuggles against him]
>Chakotay feigned disdain. "Well, I wouldn't know." Janeway raised a knowing eyebrow, waiting for him to continue. "B'Elanna locked the door and encrypted the codes, and Tom disengaged the manual override." He raised an eyebrow. "Suggestions, Captain?"
Yuusuke: That's being more of a busy-body than me.
Hiei: [breaks away for air, gasps] Don't bet on that.
Yuusuke: I haven't tried to break into your house or anything though. That one time I walked in on you notwithstanding.
Hiei: [grumbles]
Kurama: That was an accident. We know that.
Yuusuke: Stupid Randy.
Hiei: [grumbles more, leans against Kurama]
Kurama: [pulls him into another kiss]
Hiei: [deepens the kiss]
>It was Janeway's turn to smirk. "Sabotaging the holodeck doors. A serious crime. I had better review this to decide their punishment." The captain pretended to think it over. "I'm afraid the only way to teach them a lesson would be to lock them up in the holodeck for three days. Alone."
Hiei: [mutters] Wish we could do that...
Kurama: [softly] We'd run out of food...
Hiei: [curls close to him] So?
Kurama: [wraps arms more securely around him, smiling] Maybe when we do the frappuccino thing.
Hiei: [smirks]
>"Harsh, Captain."
>Janeway started to reply, but she was cut off by a beep from the comm. "Yes?"
>"Captain," Seven of Nine's voice came over the comm. "Please report to Astrometrics."
>Janeway and Chakotay exchanged looks. "On my way," Janeway said smoothly, then cut the comm link. "I wonder what that's about..."
Yuusuke: Think we come into the fic now?
Kuwa: Who cares?
Yuusuke: I do, I'm bored.
Kurama: Janeway/Seven of Nine.
Yuusuke: Heh. Is that popular?
Kurama: I'd assume so. I try to avoid Star Trek fanfiction.
Yuusuke: Kirk/Spock is. And don't start thinking I've read it. Just saw it a lot while looking for Obi-Wan/Qui-Gon.
Hiei: [shrugs] The Original Series sucks compared to The Next Generation.
Yuusuke: I used to watch that! That and Quantum Leap. I think they were on the same channel...
Hiei: [snorts]
>"Not a clue, Captain," Chakotay said.
>Janeway headed toward the door. "I'd better find out. You have the conn."
>"Right, Captain."
Yuusuke: Forgive my Trek illiteracy, but isn't that supposed to be 'com'?
Kurama: I'm not sure...
Hiei: [shifts] Doesn't matter.
Kurama: [gasps] Hiei!
Hiei: [smirks] Yes?
Kurama: [nips his neck] Mmmm...
>* * *
Yuusuke: Space… the final --
Kurama: That was obvious. [goes back to Hiei's neck]
Hiei: [gasps]
>B'Elanna muttered something angrily to herself as the roller coaster looped again.
Yuusuke: Something? A curse word? The secret to Bush's Baked Beans? What?!
Kurama: [muffled] Close enough. She *is* a bitch.
Yuusuke: He sounds like when I complain about Pamidala.
Hiei: [shifts again]
Kurama: [gasps, starts sucking on Hiei's throat]
Koenma: Pamidala?
Yuusuke: My nickname for Padme.
Koenma: Ah.
>Tom had installed a new program in the holodeck. It was a theme park. Specifically, Six Flags Magic Mountain.
Yuusuke: I wanna go to Six Flags.
Koenma: [thoughtful look]
Yuusuke: [blinks at him] What?
Koenma: [shrugs] Nothing.
Yuusuke: Okay.
Kuwa: I hope the plot starts soon.
>Wonderful. I have a husband with the mentality of a four-year-old. And I thought honeymoons were supposed to be romantic! She tried to glower at Tom, but the look softened as she saw that he was clearly having the time of his life. Well...I guess I can put up with it. She made a mental note to drag him into the 'Tunnel of Love' ride, grinning as she thought about what his reaction would be.
Yuusuke: Nope, Kuwabara, still no plot in sight.
Kuwa: Damn...
Koenma: [Tom] Ew! Cooties!
Yuusuke: Huh?
Koenma: Well, she said 'four year old' mentality.
Yuusuke: [snickers, kisses Koenma]
Koenma: [deepens kiss, pulling him closer]
>Beside B'Elanna, Tom let out a loud whoop as the roller coaster fell forty feet into a pool of water. The half-Klingon beside him stared at him as he chuckled. "I'm WET, Tom!"
Kurama: That was probably his intention.
Hiei: Mouth. Neck.
Kurama: Good idea. [goes back to nipping at his neck]
Hiei: Mmmm...
Kuwa: Wet t-shirt contest?
Yuusuke: [yawns] Very bored now.
Koenma: It's probably just going to get worse.
Yuusuke: [sarcastic] Oh. Great.
Koenma: I know...
>Tom was still laughing. "Computer, change B'Elanna Torres' clothing. Program Paris Alpha Zeta. Immediately, a rather skimpy bathing suit appeared on B'Elanna.
Yuusuke: Those end quotes must've found Harry's invisibility cloak...
Koenma: You mean instead of Snape?
Yuusuke: ... I read a fic like that once.
Kurama: Yuusuke.
Kuwa: No Snarry!
Yuusuke: So sue me for not liking Harry/Draco.
Kurama: [shrugs] I'm not fond of that, either.
Yuusuke: What's your ship then?
Kurama: [smirks] Fred/George.
Yuusuke: Yeah! Twincest!
Hiei: Ick.
Yuusuke: In HP, not our show.
Hiei: Still...
Kurama: [kisses his Jagan]
Hiei: Mmmm... [nuzzles him]
>"TOM!"
Yuusuke: [B’Elanna] This makes me look fat!
Kurama: [starts laughing]
Yuusuke: [buffs nails] Yeah, I still got it.
Kurama: [giggles into Hiei's neck]
Hiei: [smiles]
Kuwa: This fic sucks.
Koenma: We know.
>"Alright, alright already! Computer, change B'Elanna Torres' clothing. Program Paris Beta Four." A pair of slacks and a short-sleeved shirt declaring 'I'm with stupid' with an arrow that pointed at Tom appeared on the half-Klingon. Seeing B'Elanna's glower, Tom sputtered. "I mean,program Paris Beta Two!"
Yuusuke: There's just no pleasing some irrational women.
Koenma: [pets him]
Hiei: We should get one of those shirts for Koenma.
Yuusuke: [snorts]
Koenma: Yuu-chan's smart.
Yuusuke: [smiles widely]
Koenma: [kisses him]
>This time a very comfortable pair of blue slacks and a matching blue muscle shirt appeared. B'Elanna grabbed Tom by the wrist and dragged him across the park. Tom paled as he saw where they were headed. "No, B'Elanna! Not there!" he whined.
Yuusuke: [Tom] No, not the dungeon with the bondage equipment! No!
Kurama: See, Tom, you should've stuck with Harry.
Yuusuke: Right on.
Hiei: [yawns] Bet it's the Tunnel of Love thing.
Kurama: Yeah.
Kuwa: Why does he sound like a little kid?
Koenma: "Four year old mentality"?
Hiei: That sounds perverse.
Yuusuke: Ew.
Hiei: [softly to Kurama] Not gonna say it...
Kurama: [smiles slightly]
Hiei: [kisses him]
Kurama: [deepens kiss]
Hiei: [rubs against him lightly]
Kurama: [moans softly]
>"It's my turn," B'Elanna retorted, brushing past the attendant and shoving Tom into the huge swan boat.
Yuusuke: [B’Elanna] You’re gonna be romantic whether you like it or not!
Koenma: [Tom] Awwww... Okay... [kisses Yuusuke deeply]
Yuusuke: [wraps his arms around Koenma, pulling him closer]
Kuwa: [sighs]
Yuusuke: [pulls away from Koenma] Alright, alright.
>The attendant smiled. "You two lovebirds have a good time." He started the ride.
>"But it doesn't go fast," Tom was heard to complain before the boat floated out of earshot.
>The attendant chuckled, shaking his head. "Kids."
Yuusuke: See? Even the fic notices the chan.
Kurama: [distractedly] Why is the attendant acting like an AI?
Hiei: [licking his neck]
Kurama: Mnnn...
>~*~
Koenma: [sings] You are my lucky star...
Yuusuke: [smiles, kisses him]
Koenma: [deepens kiss]
Yuusuke: [moves to sit in between his legs, not breaking the kiss]
Kuwa: [stays quiet]
>Kurama sighed tiredly, waiting impatiently for Koenma to finish processing the Reikai Tantei's last mission so they could go home.
Kuwa: Here we are. Finally.
Hiei: [glances up] Hn? Oh.
Yuusuke: [snuggles back against Koenma] I was beginning to wonder if we were in this at all.
Kurama: [somewhat breathless] Kind of wish we weren't.
>He hoped it was soon. I've missed enough school as it is.
>Yuusuke groaned. "Now we have to go back to school!"
Yuusuke: Look, I was reading your thoughts.
Kurama: Oh joy.
Hiei: He has better things to do than go to school.
Kurama: [smirks]
Yuusuke: [deadpan] Like you?
Kurama: Of course.
Hiei: [smirks]
Kurama: [pulls him in for another kiss]
Hiei: [grinds his hips against Kurama's]
Kurama: [gasps against Hiei's mouth]
Hiei: [breaks the kiss and leans against Kurama, smiling]
Kurama: [buries his face in Hiei's hair]
>Kuwabara lamented with him. "Yeah...And Takenaka's gonna be breathin' down our necks! This sucks, ne, Kurama?"
Yuusuke and Kuwabara: Suck, suck, suck!
Kurama: [giggles lightly]
>Kurama shrugged and glanced at Hiei. The fire demon was leaning against the wall, his arms crossed over his chest, as usual, keeping his distance.
Kurama: Until Kurama closed the distance between them...
Hiei: [chuckles] Randy fox.
Yuusuke: [laughs loudly]
Kuwa: It wasn't that funny, Urameshi.
Yuusuke: Was to me.
>Kurama frowned as the fire demon's muscles trembled slightly. Hiei was obviously exhausted. He'd had to use his Jagan for nearly five days straight because of the demon that they had been ordered to capture. The demon had masked his ki signature so well that even Kuwabara could not detect him. In fact, the demon had only shown up as a shadow to Hiei and then only when he was using his Jagan. The demon had ended up being extremely powerful, and Hiei had been forced to use the Kokoryuha to finish him off when Yuusuke had been knocked out.
Yuusuke: I wasn't knocked out. I was probably trying to get out of the fic.
Hiei: Right.
Koenma: [shifts uncomfortably]
Yuusuke: [twines his hands with Koenma's] I'm okay, K-chan.
Koenma: [softly] I know.
>Koenma brought the Reikai Seal down on the document with a loud 'thunk'. "You may leave now," the infant-godling said in his strange voice.
Yuusuke: I like his voice.
Koenma: [blushes, hugs Yuusuke]
Yuusuke: [takes a slightly sharp breath]
Koenma: [frowns worriedly] Yuu-chan? What is it?
Yuusuke: It's nothing.
Koenma: You sure?
Yuusuke: [shrugs] Yeah. Almost sneezed. Mom's prolly talking shit about me.
Koenma: [still frowning] Alright...
Yuusuke: [turns slightly and kisses him] Don't worry.
Koenma: [softly] If there was something wrong, you would tell me, right?
Yuusuke: [same] I'm fine, K-chan. It's nothing.
Koenma: Alright...
Yuusuke: [shifts slightly]
Koenma: [gasps, kisses him deeply]
Yuusuke: [returns the kiss]
>Kurama smiled and followed Yuusuke and Kuwabara out the door. Hiei brought up the rear, walking slowly. The red head lagged behind and put a hand on Hiei's shoulder gently. "You okay?" he asked softly.
>"Hn," was Hiei's response.
Yuusuke: [gasps] Hiei bringing up the rear? He seme all of a sudden?
Kurama: [gives him a look]
Hiei: [softly] I was probably just enjoying the view.
Kurama: [smiles]
Hiei: [kisses his chin]
Kurama: [nuzzles him]
Hiei: [rests his forehead in the crook of Kurama's neck; kisses his collar]
Kurama: [rubs Hiei's back]
Hiei: [sighs contentedly]
>"I know this mission took a lot out of you. Did you want me to get you some dinner?"
>Hiei's red eyes flicked to the kitsune for a moment, then flicked away. “Whatever,” he muttered.
Kurama: [softly] I forgot to mention the food would be served on me...
Hiei: [same] Well, then, I graciously accept.
Kurama: [smiles]
>Kurama took that as a yes. "Besides, I want some peace and quiet, and I know we won't get it by hanging with those two." Kurama pointed at Yuusuke and Kuwabara, who were arguing loudly about who would beat who's butt in a 'man's battle'.
Yuusuke: Please. I would so win.
Kuwa: Oi!
Kurama: [rolls eyes] I can't breathe, someone's ego has suddenly become very suffocating.
Hiei: [giggles] Besides, foodsex isn't an option with them around.
Kurama: Mmm.
Kuwa: Gross.
Yuusuke: [whispers to Koenma] Actually, I wouldn't mind trying that...
Koenma: [blushes brightly]
Yuusuke: [kisses him]
>Hiei smirked. "Hn. Stupid fox."
Hiei: Idiot clone.
Kurama: [kisses his temple]
Hiei: [nuzzles him]
Kurama: [softly] I never have minded you calling me that, Dragon. It was always more of an endearment.
Hiei: [same] I can call you that. It's off limits to the clones.
Kurama: [kisses him]
>"Ne, what do you want to eat?" Hiei shrugged. "Pizza? Sushi? McDonald's?" Hiei shrugged again. "Fine. I want pizza. You okay with that?" Another shrug. Kurama sighed. This is going to be a loooong night...
Kurama: [smirks] That sounds promising.
Hiei: Horny fox.
Kurama: I just can't resist you.
Hiei: [smirks] Nor I you.
Yuusuke: If your clone picks McDonald’s, it should be beaten.
Kurama: [wrinkles nose] McDonalds's food makes me sick, to be honest.
Hiei: [somewhat disgusted] I've heard enough about it to never want to go there.
Kuwa: That "Super Size Me" documentary is coming out on Friday, you know...
Yuusuke: Hoo boy.
Kurama: I wouldn't mind going to see it.
Yuusuke: Don't really know if I want to yet.
Koenma: Why not?
Yuusuke: [shrugs] Dunno.
>"Oi! Kurama!" Kurama looked up. They had reached the portal. Yuusuke grinned. "See ya around. You too Hiei." He jumped through the portal.
Kurama: - to chase down that missing comma.
Hiei: [snorts]
>"See ya, Kurama! Later, Shrimp!"
>"Hn. Baka." There was a tiny smirk on the fire demon's face. Kuwabara shot him a dirty look and jumped through the portal as well.
Yuusuke: That's pretty normal for those two.
Kuwa: Hmph.
Hiei: [rolls his eyes]
>Kurama turned to his vertically challenged friend. "Shall we?"
Kurama: - dance?
Hiei: Only if it's naked and in bed.
Kurama: [giggles]
Yuusuke: Vertically challenged? That's a new one.
Koenma: So is this crossover.
Yuusuke: Huh?
Koenma: YYH/Star Trek. Never seen it before.
Hiei: The crossover or Star Trek?
Koenma: The crossover.
Kurama: You'd heard of it before?
Koenma: No, I meant that I hadn't... [softly] I’m becoming tempted never to speak again...
Yuusuke: [same] That'd be a travesty.
Koenma: [smiles]
Kurama: By the way, Yuusuke, Hiei isn't challenged in *any* area. [gropes to punctuate this]
Hiei: [jerks upward] Kurama!
Yuusuke: [covers his ears]
Kurama: [snickers]
>Hiei shrugged, and they walked through the gate together.
Kuwa: Is it over?
Hiei: [breathily] Hope so. Better things to do.
Botan's voice: Uh, sorry, guys. You're supposed to read chapter two as well.
Kurama: Damn it.
Koenma: [sighs]
Yuusuke: [nuzzles him] Let's go back to your room after this. *If* it ever ends.
Koenma: [blushes slightly] It will. Hopefully soon...
Hiei: [scowls] It better hurry up.
>Flux
>by Rose Thorne
>A Star Trek: Voyager/YYH crossover
>~STANDARD DISCLAIMERS APPLY~
Yuusuke: [random author] I didn't mean to use your characters that you created! Don't hurt meee!
Koenma: [pats his head] Did we *really* need to see that all again?
Hiei: [breathily] Who's looking...?
Koenma: [rolls his eyes] The ones who aren't entertaining themselves carnally.
Yuusuke: [smiles] And why aren't we?
Koenma: ... Point taken.
Kurama: [giggles]
>Chapter 2
Yuusuke: Send in the Clones. [grimaces] God, I hate that movie.
Kuwa: What movie?
Yuusuke: Episode two!
Hiei: [annoyed] Lucas should burn.
Yuusuke: It just keeps getting worse and worse. The only reason I'm going to see Episode Three is because I wanna see Obi chuck pretty boy into the lava pit.
Hiei: [fascinated] He does?
Yuusuke: [nods] Yeah. You know those scars on Anakin's head in Return of the Jedi? And the fact that he can't breath without the mask on? Well, it's because he gets pretty badly scorched in the lava pit. Palpatine probably saved him.
Hiei: Fire...
Yuusuke: The effects probably will be as shitty as the last one -
Kurama: Shh. You'll spoil his fun.
Hiei: [grins] I want to go see that in theatres.
Kuwa: I'm not going with. I don't wanna explain shit to the fire department.
Hiei: [smirks]
Kurama: [shakes his head and kisses Hiei's forehead]
Hiei: [shifts slightly, stretching]
Kurama: [stifles a gasp, smiling]
Hiei: [blinks, smiles]
Kurama: [kisses him]
Hiei: [returns the kiss]
>Kurama blinked as he exited the portal with Hiei. This isn't the Ningenkai... he thought, confused. What happened?
Koenma: Your house fell on the wicked witch.
Yuusuke: No, demi-human.
Koenma: [smiles] No one’s going to get that. [viva la Maze!]
Kuwa: They stepped through the vortex.
Yuusuke: The one in Hiei's cloak?
Kuwa: Yeah.
Yuusuke: Well, the way they're going, I wouldn't doubt it.
Hiei: [kicks at him, continues kissing Kurama]
Yuusuke: Itai! Well, it's true!
>They had emerged in a cold, sparse room that seemed to be entirely gray. The stangest thing was the windows. They looked out on...nothing. Total blackness, except for a few points of light.
Kurama: [breathlessly] If I'm not able to tell what stars are at this point, my clone is in trouble.
Yuusuke: You probably wouldn't realize it up close, though.
Kurama: [would respond, but Hiei's pulled him back into another lip-lock.]Yuusuke: Heh. I win.
>The people in the room looked extremely frightened by their sudden appearance. They're ningens...I think... There were a few very odd-looking people in the crowd, none of them possessing ki.
Yuusuke: And who looked nothing at all like humans, I'd bet.
Hiei: [gasping] Gee, y'think?
Kurama: [sucking on his neck]
Hiei: [turns and straddles him to offer him more room]
Kurama: [takes full advantage of this]
Hiei: [moans]
Yuusuke: Rabbits.
Hiei: [breathily] 'least I get some.
Yuusuke: [smiles very slowly] Heh.
Kurama: [nips Hiei] That was mean, Dragon.
Yuusuke: No, it's alright. Just so happens he's wrong, that's all.
Hiei: [nuzzles Kurama]
Kurama: [kisses his Jagan]
Hiei: [whispers] I know, I shouldn't have said it.
Kurama: [nuzzles him back]
Koenma: [kisses Yuusuke's temple]
Yuusuke: [kisses Koenma's chin]
Koenma: [hugs him]
>The kitsune grabbed Hiei's shoulder as the fire demon unsheathed his katana.
Yuusuke: [Kurama] I'm not *that* much of an exhibitionist. Put that away.
Kurama: [starts laughing]
>"Hiei...In case you haven't noticed, we're outnumbered. And this is definitely not the Ningenkai."
Yuusuke: [Hiei] What was your first clue?
Koenma: [Kurama] The yellow brick road?
Hiei: [kisses Kurama to try to get him to stop laughing]
Kurama: [moans, giggling against his mouth]
Hiei: [grinds his hips]
Kurama: [groans louder, moving with him]
Hiei: [moans]
>"Being outnumbered has never bothered us before, stupid fox!" the youkai growled at his companion. Dammit...He's right! We don't even know where we are!
Kuwa: You're in the vortex in your cloak.
Yuusuke: [mildly] All this just because Kurama was trying to get into Hiei's pants...
Kurama: [breathlessly] Don't have to try.
Hiei: [smirks at him, breathing heavily himself]
Kurama: [pulls Hiei's shirt up and attacks his stomach]
Hiei: [moans, tangles his hands in Kurama's hair]
Kurama: [pulls him closer]
>A hissing sound was heard, and a door opened in the wall.
Kuwa: To reveal a snake?
Yuusuke: No, it's that *whoosh* sound.
Kuwa: What is?
Yuusuke: The hissing sound.
Koenma: Guess their hearing is off.
Yuusuke: Guess. [shifts]
Koenma: [gasps] Yuu-chan!
Yuusuke: [smirks] K-chan?
Koenma: [kisses the side of Yuusuke's neck]
Yuusuke: [tilts his neck in open invitation]
Koenma: [accepts the invitation]
Yuusuke: [moans happily]
Kuwa: [snores softly]
>A group of people stepped in, carrying objects that looked very much like guns. They pointed them at Kurama and Hiei.
>"Hiei," Kurama whispered as he felt the fire demon tense. "Put your katana away..."
Yuusuke: [Kurama] They don't like it that your phallic symbol is bigger than theirs.
Kurama: [snickers] Way bigger.
Hiei: [smirks]
Koenma: [continues nibbling Yuusuke's neck]
Yuusuke: [shifts again]
Koenma: [moans]
>The fire demon stared at the redhead. "Nani?! No!" He looked shocked at the idea.
Yuusuke: [Hiei, little kid] I wanted to slice something! It's not fair!
Kurama: [Hiei, suggestively] I don't want to put my sword away.
Hiei: [Kurama, same] Mmm, well, that's completely different.
Koenma: Exhibitionists.
Hiei: Voyeurs.
Yuusuke: [snickers]
>Kurama tightened his grip on the sanjiyan's shoulder. "If you don't, they'll shoot us. You may be able to dodge it, but I might not! We don't know what kind of guns those are! Do you want me to be killed?!"
Hiei: [mildly insulted; muffled against Kurama's neck] No.
Kurama: [hugs him] I know that.
Yuusuke: Did it say what pairing this was?
Koenma: No, but I think it's gen.
Yuusuke: Meh.
Kuwa: "With Yuusuke around, I couldn't tell."
Yuusuke: [snickers]
Hiei: [muffled] When'd you wake up?
Kuwa: Just now. [yawns. Looks like he's barely awake anyway]
Hiei: Good. Your snoring was obnoxious.
Kuwa: [glares]
Yuusuke: Truthfully, I didn't notice...
Kurama: You were busy.
Yuusuke: [raspberries]
Kuwa: [grumbles] Gonna go back to sleep.
Hiei: Good.
Yuusuke: Rock.
Kuwa: Huh?
Yuusuke: New slang. Bite me.
Kuwa: [sleepily] No, thanks.
Koenma: Think I will though. [nips Yuusuke's neck]
Yuusuke: [giggles]
>Hiei flinched minutely. I hadn't thought about that...Damn! He sheathed his katana, refusing to look at Kurama.
Yuusuke: Look! It's Kurama/Hiei!
Kurama: [smirks] "Rock."
Hiei: [snickers] Hard.
Kurama: Mmm. [gropes Hiei's lap]
Hiei: [gasps] Imp!
Kurama: [grins] Dragon?
Hiei: [kisses him]
>Less than a second later, all hell broke loose.
Yuusuke: Uh...
Koenma: This doesn't bode well.
Yuusuke: Can't imagine it doing *anything* well.
Kurama: [licking Hiei's neck] It's not *that* bad.
Hiei: [gasps softly] Don't care.
Kurama: [smirks]
Koenma: I'd prefer not to deal with that kind of paperwork, personally.
Yuusuke: [winces] Ick. I wouldn't see you for a while.
Koenma: [kisses his neck] Wouldn't happen.
Yuusuke: [turns and kisses him] That's good.
Koenma: [smiles, plays with Yuusuke's hair]
Yuusuke: [smiles back]
Kuwa: [starts snoring again]
>* * *
Yuusuke: [hums Sailor Stars happily]
Koenma: [kisses him]
>Neelix stared as a light flared near one of the windows. What's that?! Two boys appeared, looking confused. One had long, red hair and large green eyes set in a face that might make some people mistaken him for a girl.
Yuusuke: Unless they looked down.
Hiei: [snickers]
Kurama: [blushes lightly]
Hiei: [shifts]
Kurama: Gah! Dragon!
Hiei: Definitely not a girl. [smirks]
Kurama: [pulls Hiei's top up and attacks his stomach]
Hiei: [gasps]
Yuusuke: Bet Kuwabara's glad to be asleep.
Koenma: Mm. [kisses Yuusuke's neck]
Yuusuke: [turns and kisses him deeply]
>The other one was very short, with jet black hair and a startling white starburst above his forehead. He looked young, but Neelix knew well enough that looks could be deceiving. The smaller one pulled a sword from behind his back in a movement so fast that Neelix could barely see it. The Talaxian tapped his communicator slowly. "Neelix to Security," he whispered, his voice shaking slightly as he said two words that everyone on Voyager had come to dread. "Intruder alert!"
Yuusuke: [pulls away from Koenma with effort] And everyone began running around like chickens with no heads.
Hiei: [gasps] That'd be an improvement.
Kurama: [snickers against his chest]
Hiei: [grins]
>The long-haired boy put a hand on the smaller one's shoulder, mumbling something that Neelix couldn't hear. I probably wouldn't be able to understand it, either... the Talaxian conceded. The small one said something that was, again, inaudible.
Kurama: [fiddling with Hiei's pants] Definitely not small...
Hiei: [smirks, runs hands through Kurama's hair]
Kurama: [kisses him deeply]
>Just then, the door to the Mess Hall opened and a security team led by Commander Tuvok entered, carrying phaser rifles. The black-haired intruder raised his weapon slightly, but turned his head toward his companion as the redhead said something. The boy retorted angrily, but the redhead cut him off, also angry. The black haired boy looked startled. The weapon disappeared.
Yuusuke: Into Kurama's mouth. No, his chest! He's not the new Rose Bride.
Kurama: [licks Hiei's chin] My prince.
Hiei: [blinks] Prince?
Kurama: [smiles] Well, if I'm Anthy then you're Utena.
Yuusuke: Or Akio.
Kurama: [smacks]
Yuusuke: Itai!
Koenma: [kisses him] You did deserve that one.
Yuusuke: [nods, rests against him]
Hiei: [softly] I don't want pink hair.
Kurama: No. I like your black. [kisses him gently]
Hiei: [returns the kiss]
>A phaser rifle went off as the weapon disappeared, and the redhead collapsed.
Yuusuke: Oh, they did *not*!
Koenma: They did.
Yuusuke: They're so dead.
Hiei: [nods, goes back to kissing Kurama]
>His small companion looked shocked for an instant. Then the weapon reappeared in his hand. He yelled something in a strange language,
Yuusuke: [Hiei] Shi ne!
Hiei: [ignores him, sucks on Kurama's neck]
Koenma: It probably is Japanese.
Kurama: [gasps] I'd hope so.
>but didn't have a chance to move as five phaser beams slammed into him. The boy was propelled back into the wall. He slid to the floor, the sword slipping from his fingers.
Yuusuke: Whoa... Clone-Kurama was wrong. He couldn't dodge.
Koenma: That'll sting in the morning. Five of those?
Yuusuke: [winces] Yeowch. [reminded of his own hidden injury probably]
Hiei: It'd probably just knock me out for longer. They're just on stun.
>Tuvok calmly tapped his communicator and ordered that the intruders be transported to Sick Bay for observation.
Yuusuke: The mating habits of demons?
Koenma: Not *that* kind of observing.
Kurama: Though they'd probably end up observing that, too.
Hiei: [snickers]
Yuusuke: Sounds like a hurt/comfort lemon. Waking up in a "hospital" after you'd both been injured.
Kurama: You're reaching too hard.
Yuusuke: [shrugs]
Hiei: Voyeur.
Yuusuke: [raspberries]
Hiei: Ew. Spit.
Kurama: Besides, he can't take you up on that offer.
Koenma: [hugs Yuusuke] 'course not.
Yuusuke: Oi! I didn't mean it that way!
Hiei: Sure you didn't.
Yuusuke: [pouts; crosses his arms over his chest]
Koenma: [kisses him] Don't let their teasing get to you.
Yuusuke: 'kay. [pulls him closer]
Koenma: [pets him]
>As the two boys disappeared, Neelix hurried up to the commander. "What are you going to do with them, Mr. Vulcan?"
Yuusuke: [Tuvok] Poke them with sticks to see if they're alive.
Hiei: He better not.
>Tuvok looked at him expressionlessly. "That, Mr. Neelix, is for Captain Janeway to decide." He left the Mess Hall.
Yuusuke: And that reminds me of Vader and Palpy for some odd reason.
Hiei: If you start going on about them slashed...
Yuusuke: No, no. [mumbles] Don't need to, the Return of the Jedi book speaks for itself.
Kurama: Oh, don't start that again.
Yuusuke: Dude, it's *there*.
Hiei: I will hurt you. Badly.
Yuusuke: Alright, alright! Just joking.
Hiei: [rolls his eyes]
>The crew members mulled around for a few minutes, then went back to what they'd been doing. Neelix sighed. I wonder what will happen to those two boys...
>* * *
>Back on Earth, centuries earlier...
Yuusuke: O-kay.
Hiei: [leans against Kurama] It's not over yet?
Kurama: Seems to be a fair bit of text left, Dragon. [kisses his Jagan]
Hiei: [sighs, relaxes]
>* * *
>Yuusuke watched as Kuwabara exited the portal. Now to wait for Kurama and Hiei... the ningen thought to himself.
Yuusuke: Since they've now been transported centuries into the future, that's gonna be some wait.
Kurama: [dryly] Apparently.
Koenma: Just contemplating that paperwork gives me a headache.
Yuusuke: [kisses him] I guess I need to take your mind off paperwork, hm? [mischievous wink]
Koenma: [grins] Sounds like a good idea.
Kuwa: [snorts, sleepily] It over yet?
Yuusuke: Nah, man, go back to sleep. [kisses Koenma's neck]
Kuwa: 'kay. [starts snoring again]
>He'd never quite trusted the portals, and he usually waited until his entire team got through before leaving. Not that I'd be able to do anything if something went wrong, he thought angrily to himself.
Yuusuke: Irony. Don’t you love it.
Kurama: Not especially.
Koenma: It’s like a campy horror movie.
Yuusuke: About zombies.
Koenma: George Romero this is not.
Hiei: [being distracted some more by his fox] Who?
Yuusuke: Remember Dawn of the Dead?
Hiei: Vaguely.
Yuusuke: I kept going on and on comparing and contrasting it to the original during the movie.
Hiei: [too busy with Kurama to reply]
Yuusuke: Oh, forget it. I can’t have a conversation with you people when you’re like that.
Kurama: [chuckles]
>Kuwabara looked at the portal with a strange expression on his face.
>Yuusuke glanced at him. "Nani? What's wrong?"
Yuusuke: [Kuwabara] I can't get this strange expression off...
Hiei: Gee, I wonder why.
Kurama: A bit too literal there. You're trying too hard, Yuusuke.
Yuusuke: Piffle.
Koenma: [kisses his neck] Just relax.
Hiei: Doesn't sound like you're talking about the MST.
Koenma: [blushes furiously]
Yuusuke: Wouldn't you like to know?
Hiei: [snorts] Not particularly.
>The psychic ningen scratched his head. "Something doesn't feel right..." he muttered. "But I don't know-"
Yuusuke: [Kuwabara] I mean, well, it is my first time --
Hiei: Yuusuke. No.
Kurama: It seems he's talking about Yuusuke/Kuwabara slash.
Yuusuke: I was reaching again, okay!?!
Koenma: Prolly a good thing he's asleep... [pets Yuusuke's hair]
Hiei: [snickers] I'm sure someone can send him the link to the MSTs for kicks.
Yuusuke: It was just a riff! [pulls his waist in a bad angle and winces] Ouch...
Koenma: [frowns] Are you okay?
Yuusuke: [smiles reassuringly] Yeah! Don't worry, K-chan.
Koenma: [frowns deeper] Are you sure? You keep wincing...
Yuusuke: [sighs] It's just a little injury. It's not that bad.
Koenma: [hugs him gently] Why didn't you tell me, Yuu-chan?
Yuusuke: [sheepish] I didn't want you to worry.
Koenma: I worry more if you don't tell me.
Yuusuke: [kisses him] I'll have Botan look at it when the mst is over, kay?
Koenma: [smiles] Okay. [kisses him back]
>The portal suddenly exploded! Yuusuke and Kuwabara were propelled backward a few feet, but Yuusuke jumped up immediately. "KURAMA! HIEI!"
Hiei: We can't hear you.
Kurama: Too busy.
Hiei: [smirks]
Yuusuke: "In space, no one can hear you scream..."
Koenma: [chuckles]
Yuusuke: [kisses his cheek]
>Kuwabara wrinkled his nose. Instead of being electric-blue like it normally was, the portal's aura had become an angry red. The carrot-top gasped and grabbed Yuusuke's arm.
Yuusuke: Hey, I need that arm!
Hiei: Kuwabara realized how much ningens smell.
Kurama: [giggles]
Yuusuke: [glares]
Hiei: [smirks] It's true.
Koenma: You smell alright to me, Yuu-chan.
Yuusuke: [grins] That's what matters, anyway.
Koenma: [kisses him]
Hiei: [snorts]
Kurama: [whispers to Hiei] Of course, Koenma's opinion is biased...
Hiei: [smirks, kisses him]
Kurama: [runs hands through his hair]
>"Yuusuke...The portal's aura!" His half-demon friend stared at him. "The Netherworld!"
Yuusuke: [sarcastic] Well. That's a shocker.
Kurama: [softly] Well, we *did* kill their leader.
Yuusuke: Yeah. But, in retrospect, it was neat watching Hiei level whole city blocks...
Hiei: [snorts] Destructomaniac.
Yuusuke: [sweat drops]
Kurama: Hiei, be fair. He's probably a nymphomaniac, too.
Koenma: Er.
Yuusuke: [blushes]
Hiei: [snickers]
Kuwa: [snores on]
Hiei: [whispers] It was neat being able to level city blocks...
Kurama: [giggles]
Yuusuke: I can just imagine how strong your kids will be someday...
Hiei: [shrugs] I gained power out of desperation.
Yuusuke: Still.
Kurama: [nuzzles Hiei] We'll see when the time arises itself.
Hiei: [smiles] I know.
>Yuusuke gaped at him for a moment. "The Netherworld?! NO!" he yelled. It can't be the Netherworld! "But...If it's the Netherworld, then..."
Yuusuke: Then...
Hiei: Then we're fucked.
Kurama: Ick. I hope not literally.
Yuusuke: Because I can think of someone I'd rather be fucked by... [blushes]
Hiei: [snorts] I'd hope so.
Koenma: [blushes, nuzzles Yuusuke's neck]
Kurama: Besides, it's probably Hiei and me who would be fucked, not you.
Yuusuke: Like you said, I hope not literally.
Hiei: Better not be.
>Kuwabara looked away. "Then they're probably dead. I don't feel their ki. It started to come out of the portal, but it's gone!"
Yuusuke: Just... gone?
Koenma: Yeah. You know, like original ideas in George Lucas' mind.
Yuusuke: Ah.
Hiei: George Lucas had original ideas?
Yuusuke: Yeah, and he's fucking them up. He's adding *more* new stuff in the original trilogy when they come out on dvd. So far I've heard he's dubbing over Boba Fett's voice with the guy who plays Jango Fett. And the last time Luke sees the ghosts in RotJ? Hayden Christensen will be there instead of Old Anakin.
Hiei: Ugh. Money-making scheme. If he puts out new director's cuts, the otaku will spend more money.
Yuusuke: [nods] Sounds like him.
Kurama: Well, not to stereotype, but most of the older sci-fi otaku are D&D nerds still living in their parents' houses.
Koenma: Er... Yuusuke still lives with Atsuko...
Hiei: [throws back his head and laughs]
Yuusuke: [sweat drops] But I was never a D&D nerd!
Koenma: [kisses him] I know.
>Yuusuke blinked. "Kurama...and Hiei...They can't be dead! I don't believe it!"
Yuusuke: I wouldn't either, honestly.
Hiei: Wouldn't be much of a fic if we were.
Koenma: And I think I see the end of the blasted thing.
Yuusuke: Good. [shifts against him]
Koenma: [gasps] Yuu-chan!
Yuusuke: [smiles cheekily] K-chan?
Koenma: [blushes]
Yuusuke: [kisses him]
Koenma: [returns the kiss]
>"Yuuuusuke!!" a familiar voice yelled. "Yuuuusuke!" Botan landed in front of them, breathing heavily. "Yuusuke, there's a problem."
Yuusuke: [singing] I've got a theory, it's a demon, /a dancing demon... no, something isn't right there.
Hiei: Gee, I think that's obvious.
Kurama: What was that from?
Yuusuke: The Buffy musical.
Hiei: I'm officially disturbed.
Yuusuke: By the fact that it exists? Me too.
Hiei: No. That you *watched* it and know the lyrics.
Yuusuke: [sweat drops]
>The ningen lowered his head. "Yeah, I know. Kurama and Hiei..."
>Botan blinked. "How...how did you know?"
Yuusuke: Oh, no reason. We were just *standing right there.*
Hiei: [mutters] Twit.
Botan's voice: [embarrassed] That isn't me...
Hiei: [rolls eyes] I was referring to the clone.
Botan: [sounds more embarrassed] Oh.
Koenma: [sighs] Botan. This thing is almost over, right?
Botan: Yeah.
Yuusuke: Good.
Hiei: Agreed. I want a nap.
Kurama: [whispers] And I need to go shopping to stock up on food and caffeine...
Hiei: [blinks] We're out?
Kurama: [smiles] No, for... what we were talking about earlier.
Hiei: [smirks]
>Kuwabara spoke up. "They're dead aren't they." It wasn't a question. "The Netherworld did it, ne?"
>Botan flinched. "We don't know if they're dead or not...But it does involve the Netherworld..."
Yuusuke: Yes. So we've gathered.
Hiei: I guess they're repeating it for the dumber readers.
Koenma: Well, that's also supposing that they've seen the movie.
Yuusuke: [sounding dumb] Netherworld? Huh? Wha? [normal] Gah. I'm too tired to riff. Is this thing over yet?
Koenma: Almost.
Hiei: [smirks] Good.
Kurama: [licks his neck]
Hiei: [shifts]
Kurama: [rocks his hips with him]
Hiei: [gasps] K'rama...
Kurama: [throatily] I know, Dragon.
Hiei: [kisses him]
>The two boys looked at her expectantly. She looked away. "Well...Koenma can explain it better. Hop on." The boys just managed to grab her oar as she sped away.
Yuusuke: Hi ho, Silver, away!
Kurama: Out of this theatre.
Yuusuke: Right on.
Hiei: Good riddance!
Kurama: [brushes his hand over Hiei's crotch] Let's go home.
Hiei: [gasps] Yes.
[Notes: No ending this time. ^^; Technical difficulties. Don’t look at me like that. Just be glad I remembered to post this.]