Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction ❯ Every Tear I Cry ❯ Chapter 1

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Title: Everlasting Memories

Author:Forbidden Interludes

Pairing: Hiei x Yukina

Fandom: Yu Yu Hakusho

Theme: 20. when lightning strikes

Rating: NC-17

Warnings: Lemon, Incest

Disclaimer: Disclaimer: Yu Yu Hahusko belongs to Yoshihiro Togashi. I make no claims of ownership to this series, nor do I make any profit off of this fan fiction.

Authors Note: Any complaints as to the pairing will promptly be deleted so if you don't care for any of the above, please make use of your back button and find something more appropriate to read. This is purely entertainment smut, nothing more. Any illusions to a plot are most likely hallucinations and should be ignored without further thought. No flames accepted.

The windows shuddered as each roll of thunder echoed through the night sky. Clutching the blanket closer to her, Yukina tried to shut out the sounds of the storm and the memories of her capture, the harsh treatment she'd received at the hands of Tarukane's minions. Tears slowly dripped down her pale cheeks only to be absorbed into the pillow before they could crystallize. 'Why? Why did they have to bring it up?' A muffled sob escaped her lips as lightning illuminated the darkened room. Didn't they realize how much it hurt her to be reminded of those pain filled months? No, it was most likely that they just hadn't been thinking. Neither Yusuke nor Kazuma would purposefully hurt her, it was normal for them to boast about how one dominated in a fight over the other and who had struck the final blow to an opponent. Neither noticed her pained expression as they fought over just who had done more good in the fights to rescue her.

Only now when the house was silent and the other occupants had been lulled to sleep by the storm did she let her grief out. It had all been in vain, the torture she'd endured in the quest to find her long lost brother. The man remained elusive as ever and more than once it had been hinted at that he had perished. Heedless of the emotions it was invoking, the storm raged on doing nothing to comfort the small woman laying on the bed. A large part of her longed for someone to be there and offer her comfort but another side was ashamed of the tears she cried. The Koorime were supposed to be a strong, proud race that rarely showed their emotions but Yukina knew that she was different. It had always been something that the other ice maidens had frowned upon, the fact that she felt so strongly. It was a constant reminder of the blood of the fire apparition that coursed through her veins.

But even if she were to seek out the comfort she so craved, who would she go to? Assuming she wanted to reveal the pain she carried to anyone, the last thing she wanted was pity. Kazuma would look upon her with guilt once he realized what had caused it and truthfully she didn't think she could face him as he stared down at her with that expression. Yusuke wasn't likely to even know what to say much less understand what she needed. Of her remaining choices it left Hiei and Kurama, both of which she was unsure about disturbing their rest. To be honest, she'd always felt slightly uncomfortable around the kitsune even though she had never said anything. There was no doubt that Kurama felt it as well and had done his best to give the Koorime the space she needed to remain comfortable.

At first glance her last option seemed to be the most unlikely. Hiei was cold, distant and did his best to keep his thoughts from being known but there had always been something that drew her to him. The man wasn't afraid to talk to her and when asked had no qualms about giving an honest opinion. She'd been on the receiving end of his sharp logic more than once but she'd never taken offense to it. Instead it only strengthened the pull she felt towards him. Would he help dispel her fears and keep them away? Could he offer the comfort of his arms, at least until she was able to fall asleep? As she considered the question Yukina continued to hesitate. While she didn't fear him laughing at her for being so sensitive to something so silly as a few misplaced words, she did fear him looking at her with disdain for having such a weakness.

Rising slowly from the bed, Yukina flipped the light on and her gaze went to the reflection in the mirror. Tired eyes stared back at her as her fingertips wiped at the streaks left behind from her tears. Outside the wind continued to howl, driving the rain against the window letting her know that the storm was far from over. At this rate it would be impossible for the Koorime to get back to sleep and inevitably questions would follow in the morning. It wasn't as if she could return to the temple in this weather to avoid her friends concern. When the pictures on the wall rattled from the impact of the thunder her decision was made. Shutting off the light, the apparition exited to the room and allowed her feet to carry her to the room where she knew the apparition had taken up residence in for the night. Even one such as him wouldn't venture out into the storm when a warm bed had been offered.

Silently Yukina walked down the hall, stopping at the apparition's room. No sounds came from within but there was no doubt in her mind that he was asleep, she could feel his emotions distantly every time they were near each other and now they were almost calm. It was a distinct change from the way Hiei normally was but she was glad to see it. With luck he'd be more receptive to her presence in his room, if not then she'd just have to continue dealing with her problems as best as she could. The door made no noise as she pushed it open and stepping inside, pausing only to close it softly behind her. There was no mistaking the sleeping form on the bed and despite the circumstances a faint smile crossed her face at the thought. Perhaps he didn't prefer trees to a proper bed after all.

As the sound of the door opening reached his ears, Hiei bordered on the edge of consciousness trying to determine just who had interrupted his sleep. However as Yukina's familiar aura washed over him he relaxed, knowing that she was of no threat to him. Had he been more aware he would have questioned just what she wanted but with the alcohol he had consumed earlier that night, the small details didn't seem to matter that much. Instead he rolled over onto his side, falling deeper into the dream filled sleep he had been pulled from.

Slightly encouraged by the fact that the apparition had yet to send her away, Yukina moved closer to the bed. She'd been aware of when heavily lidded crimson eyes looked at her in question before sliding shut once more. He knew she was there and had made no demands, she'd take it as a sign that she was welcome to remain. As she took a seat gingerly on the edge of the bed, she stared down into the apparitions relaxed face. If only she could sleep so peacefully. Sighing slightly, her hand moved to rest on his forearm. Somehow she wasn't surprised to see that he was bare from the waist up, there were times that she wished that she could do the same but it was inappropriate to even consider. Even with the featherlight touch the demon still had yet to protest her actions and growing bolder, Yukina laid down on the soft mattress next to him.

It was strange being next to the man but that didn't stop the Koorime from moving closer to him. He had only tensed for a moment before relaxing once more, neither moving away nor coming any closer. Carefully she slid beneath the blanket, pulling it over her shoulder and incidentally his but it wasn't long before the apparition had thrown it off of the both of them. Believing it was because he didn't like to constricting feel of the material surrounding him, Yukina didn't pursue the idea of covering the two of them again. As she laid there next to him, barely touching him she couldn't help but wonder what it would feel like to have his arms around her. The desire for comfort was still strong and while his presence alone had quieted her inner fears it hadn't dispelled them completely. Taking a chance she eliminated the remaining distance between them and pressed her cheek to his warm chest.

Strong arms wrapped around her then, holding her close. A quiet murmur broke the silence, her name whispered lovingly before all was quiet once more. Never had Yukina heard him use that tone with anyone and it made her wonder. Why would he do so now? The only explanation was that the apparition was unguarded and more open with his emotions than was normal. The arms tightened for a moment as if reassuring their owner that the Koorime was still there. Slowly she looked up onto his sleeping face and in the darkness saw the slight smile that had emerged. Was he truly so happy about her presence? Did he feel their connection just as she did?

Yukina had to wonder if this was the emotion known as love. Never having experienced the feeling made it difficult for her to determine if that was indeed what it was. Granted, Kazuma professed that very affection each time he saw her but all it invoked in the small Koorime was confusion. Sure, she liked the tall human but that to her did not indicate a stronger feeling. It was all so confusing but there was one thing that she was certain of, laying there in Hiei's arms felt right and though she knew eventually the night would be over she didn't want it to end.

A gasp escaped her as he shifted slightly, his body pressing more firmly against hers. There was no mistaking the differences between the apparition's body and the way Tarukane had felt. The old man had been disgusting, pressing against her with his obese body and panting heavily against her skin. The body touching her now however was firm and well muscled, the exact opposite of her former captor. Curiosity raged within her as her hand began to roam the broad expanse of Hiei's back, fingertips tracing lightly over every dip and curve. A shiver coursed through his body as she continued to explore but still he didn't awaken.

Only once her fingers met the edge of his pants did she stop, though with his belts removed it would have been easy for her to continue the exploration. Instead she resumed the light strokes, mapping out the skin of his waist and side. As the apparition began to nuzzle into her neck, Yukina smiled. The man's reaction only strengthened her beliefs that there was some level of affection between them, he'd just been so hurt by someone previously that he wouldn't chance opening himself up again.

Suddenly the Koorime found herself laying sprawled on top of Hiei, the apparition maintaining his hold on her as he rolled over onto his back. The move took her off guard for only a moment before she relaxed once more. There was no mistaking the hardness that was was pressing rather insistently against her thigh. Her hands stilled momentarily, debating whether she should continue to touch him. No doubt if he were awake he'd have told her to stop long ago but if he were enjoying her touch, why not continue? She was certainly enjoying the chance to explore his body unhindered by the disapproval of any others who might happen to know of her growing attraction to the apparition.

Moving her hands to Hiei's chest, Yukina took her time exploring the smooth skin while taking care not to wake the man beneath her, at least not until her curiosity was satisfied. Instinctively her head tilted to the side as a hot tongue came out to taste the sensitive skin of her neck. Trembling from the contact, Yukina closed her eyes as she savored the experience. It was unlikely that Hiei would ever know that he'd invoked such feelings within her and she doubted that the chance would ever come again. Rough hands grasped her hips and held her in place as the apparition rocked up against her. Holding her breath, Yukina tried to suppress the groan as his heated length came into contact with her center. Throwing caution to the wind, the Koorime pressed her lips against his.

Awareness was slow in coming to Hiei because the dream he was experiencing was just too damned good to leave. However it was that in itself that attempted to pull him back to wakefulness. Small hands threaded through his hair as soft lips pressed to his own. An insistent ache had begun in his groin and slender thighs straddled his hips and pressed down firmly. Groaning at the contact, the apparition's mouth slipped open and his tongue brushed against the sweet lips pressing against his before being granted entrance and slipping inside.

There was no time to be shy or hesitant as the apparition took possession of her mouth, pulling a response from her. A whimper escaped her throat as he slowly pulled on her hips, his erection telling Yukina exactly what he wanted from her. The touch was just as insistent as the other man's had been but the difference was in the reaction it got. Already she could feel the fabric of her panties becoming damp with the proof of her desire and she wondered just how far Hiei would allow himself to go with her. While she wasn't a stranger to physical pleasure, having more than once fantasized about being touched just as she was now, this was far more intense than anything her dreams could have supplied.

Hovering on the brink of consciousness, Hiei growled when the woman's mouth pulled away with a gasp. If his dream woman thought that she could tease him to such an aroused state and then leave him unfulfilled she had another thing coming. His member twitched at the rough friction of her sliding further down his body and it was only the fact that her hands began a torturous path down his chest that stopped him from switching their positions. His skin seemed as if it were on fire with those fleeting caresses, an eternity passing before those fingertips slipped passed the barrier of his pants.

Gently she stroked the heated flesh in her hand, exploring the smooth texture even as his hips left the bed seeking to achieve more contact. Wetness dripped from the tip, coating her fingers as she continued to fondle his length. Now that she no longer had the delicious friction of his body moving against hers an ache began to form in her core and seeking to relieve it, she slipped her remaining hand beneath the folds of her sleeping yukata and into her panties. As the lips parted, exposing her hidden jewel to her questing fingers Yukina's eyes slid closed and she allowed the pleasurable sensations to overwhelm her.

The soft panting in his ear coupled with the heated strokes to his erection was what finally brought Hiei completely awake, his crimson eyes opening slowly. He nearly closed them again as soft fingers brushed against the sensitive tip. What shocked him though was the teal hair that was draped across his bare chest. Startled by the revelation he stared down into his twin's face, at a loss for what to say to the girl.

Noticing the apparition tense, Yukina looked up at him with a blush staining her cheeks. Even knowing that he was completely awake now, her ministration's to his hard member didn't stop. His body continued to enjoy her touch, why should she withdraw now? Until he told her to leave she was content to press on. Even now as he continued to stare at her in shock, the Koorime buried her face in his neck. Her voice was barely above a whisper but it reached him easily enough. "Please don't be upset. I need this, I need you.... to help me forget."

"Yukina?" The word was quiet and broken, Hiei's shock coming through leaving no doubt to just how unsettled he was. His hand gripped her wrist gently, pulling the hand away from his tense member. It was so damned hard to think with her touching him like that. Why on Earth would she come to him for such a thing? Never had he believed that she'd wish to be with him in such a fashion. So many questions rushed through his head but the strongest one was based on what she had said. Carefully he pulled away from her, needing to look into her eyes as he demanded an answer. "Tell me, what is it that you need to forget?"

She couldn't look into his eyes any longer, her shame too great. "I shouldn't have come here. Forgive me." Tears threatened to form once more as she moved to get off of the bed. She'd been wrong in thinking that the apparition wouldn't question her, that he would be too far gone in his own pleasure to think beyond the here and now. Even by experiencing his reaction to her presence she wasn't so foolish to believe he would want her after knowing that she'd been soiled by the man who had imprisoned her. When a hand landed on her shoulder preventing her from leaving the tears she'd tried to hold back could be contained no more. The Hiroseki stones fell to the floor, each making a hollow sound as they struck the hard wood but she was oblivious to them. Why must he force her to speak the words?

Pulling her back to him slowly, Hiei brought a hand up to gently brush the tears away before more gems could form. Suddenly he wasn't sure that he wanted to know if the memory caused her that much pain. There was no way he was going to refuse her though, she could take what comfort she needed from him if it would stop the tears and drive the memories away. As he pulled his sister to his chest slender arms wrapped around his waist. A broken word shattered the silence and his hidden heart filled with anger and pain. Tarukane. Even now the bastard continued to haunt her and based on what she'd asked for earlier, he knew what the man had done. Could he replace those memories with something better? Had this been anyone other than Yukina he would have used the Jagan but there was a distinct possibility that the malevolent eye would harm her should he try to tamper with those memories. "I'll help you, but only for tonight Yukina."

There was no way that Hiei would promise her more, what they were doing was wrong no matter how they looked at it but he couldn't stand to see the pain in her eyes. Later things would go back to normal and he'd distance himself once more. But for tonight he would give the Koorime what she needed. Lowering her back to the bed gently he stared into eyes that were so like his own. She'd done a remarkable job hiding the pain over the years, it was surprising that he hadn't been able to see through the mask of cheerfulness and naivety before. "Relax, you know I won't hurt you."

Slowly the tension that had overwhelmed Yukina began to bleed off now that the Koorime knew that he wasn't going to pursue his line of questioning. Instead Hiei continued gazing at her for several long moments, brushing his fingertips over her cheek while waiting for her to calm down. Only once the apparition been reassured that her tears weren't about to return did he stand from the bed, his hands going to the button of his pants. As the offending material slid down over his hips and revealed his body to her view, her blush returned with a vengeance though she didn't avert her eyes.

Kneeling onto the bed once more Hiei noticed way Yukina's trembling hands had gone to the sash of her gown and begun to untie the knot. "Not yet, let me do it." It wasn't often that he was so gentle, nor considerate but the apparition knew that he would have to go slowly with her. Too much could push the very memories she was trying to forget back to the surface. Slowly he guided her hands back to the bed before trailing his fingers over the exposed skin of her arms. Leaning forward he captured her lips, nipping and teasing the soft petals until she responded and her tongue shyly came up to brush against his. It was clear just how inexperienced she was but it was more than made up for in the girl's sweet taste and hunger for more. Once more her tiny hands had made their way into the apparition's hair and brushing against the nape of his neck.

Pulling back slightly he switched tactics, his lips finding the sensitive skin of her neck and brushing against it in a fleeting caress. A pleased hum came from his twin as he nibbled on her ear before pressing a featherlight kiss against the the soft skin. As he continued to lavish attention on her throat, Hiei slipped a hand teasingly down her chest, barely brushing against a nipple that was clearly visible through the thin material. As her back arched for firmer contact he smirked, and ran a fingertip over the taut peak. As the ice maiden whimpered low in her throat Hiei slipped his hand beneath the gown, his desire growing once more as he continued to touch her.

"Please Hiei!" With her yukata beginning to fall open the cool night air caressed her skin. It was a sharp contrast to the heated breath that was teasing her. Warm lips ghosted along her skin as the fire apparition made his way down to her other nipple. As the wet heat surrounded the taut peak Yukina cried out, her arousal growing to even greater heights. Feverishly she rubbed her thighs together, trying to satisfy the ache in her core. She nearly cried out on relief as his hand quickly untied the sash, allowing her robe to fall open.

Sliding his fingers beneath the final barrier of material, his groin tightened painfully upon feeling how wet she was. Slipping a finger deep within her core it confirmed his suspicions that she'd been taken at least once before. Slowly he pumped his finger into the tight channel, waiting to see if she gave any protest but there was none. Instead the girl tossed her head to the side as her hips thrust against his hand insistently. As his thumb brushed firmly against her clit she cried out, her cheeks flushed with pleasure. "Let it go Yukina."

Breathing heavily, Yukina's hands fisted in the sheets as the apparition pushed her higher and higher. Her eyes slid shut as she felt Hiei settle himself between her legs but the bolted open again as she felt his tongue slide across her hidden jewel. The fingers withdrew only to spread her lips apart, giving him better access with his tongue. Every nerve came alive as he continued to devour her, sucking on the small nub. The satisfaction he was offering to her seemed so near yet impossibly far away as she strove to reach it. "I can't... oh please... more!"

Giving into her pleas, Hiei thrust two fingers deep within her and pressed them upwards, pumping vigorously. Feeling her walls tighten around his fingers he nipped the girl's clit gently, sending her crashing over the edge. Once she'd calmed, he pulled his fingers free and ran his tongue over them. It was obvious that she found the sight stimulating by the way her scent spiked once more. While he'd enjoyed seeing to Yukina's pleasure, there was only so long his own release would be denied. Rubbing the inside of her thighs slowly, the apparition knelt between her legs and rubbed the head of his cock along her slick opening, covering it with her juices. Raising his eyes to meet hers, he knew that he had to make sure she wanted this. "If you are unsure the time to tell me is now." Silently he waited for her answer but there was no hesitation in her voice.

"I want you, please don't stop." There was no way Yukina was going to ask him to quit now, even if all she could have was tonight she wanted to feel what it was liked to be loved by the him. As he slowly pushed into her there was no pain like she'd been expecting, only an intense warmth that threatened to consume her once more. His name slipped past her lips as the apparition moved to cover her body, his chest pressing closely against hers. Wrapping her arms around him, Yukina pulled Hiei closer as he began to move slowly within her.

Feeling her clenched so tightly around his cock, it was difficult for Hiei not to take her fast. Instead he wanted to draw it out and let her dictate the pace. Things would be difficult come morning, he hadn't missed the look of adoration nor the love that was shining openly for him to see now but he roughly pushed the thought away as he brought his lips to hers.

Wrapping her legs around his waist, Yukina pulled him even closer encouraging him to move even faster. It was touching how gentle he was being with her but she wanted to experience the raw passion that dominated the man's life. As if understanding exactly what she needed he picked up speed, driving deeper into her as his mouth suckled on the tender skin of her neck. Breathy moans filled the air as she neared her completion once more and his hand slipped between their bodies to fondle her jewel. As her release slammed into her once more she cried out his name, uncaring of who they might awaken. A harsh grunt told her that Hiei was close as well as his body tensed above her and his movements became harsher. Abruptly he pulled out of her body, his hand stroking his throbbing length harshly as his seed coated her stomach and chest. For the briefest of moments this confused her before realization set in, this wasn't meant to be permanent and he wouldn't leave her with a child to raise alone.

Panting heavily, Hiei fought to keep from collapsing on top of his twin as the after effects of his release washed over him. When he looked into Yukina's eyes to his relief he saw no regret or unease, only a comfortable acceptance of what had just happened between them. Slowly he pulled himself off of the bed and disappeared into the bathroom only to return moments later with a warm, wet cloth. As he cleaned her of all traces of their encounter, he watched her carefully. "You should return to your room, the others are likely to be awake soon." The storm had died down long ago and he'd be surprised if no one had heard the Koorime's cries of pleasure.

Knowing that Hiei didn't want any uncomfortable questions, Yukina merely nodded and retied the yukata in place. As much as she wished to stay with him until the sun rose, she knew that he would never allow it. Sitting up on her knees, she moved in towards him and brushed her lips against his own. "Thank you for everything you've done for me." Pulling back from the apparition, Yukina made her way off the bed and towards the door. Opening it slowly she turned back to face the man who'd given her something more to remember than the terrifying memories that had lingered. He looked so lost there sitting alone on the bed once more and her heart clenched to know she was about to walk away, even if it was the way he wanted it. For the first time she understood exactly what it felt like to love someone and she hoped that one day he could return the affections. For however long it took, she was willing to wait. "I know you may not want to hear this but, I have to say it anyway. I love you Hiei, I think.. I think I always have."

Hiei remained silent as she walked out the door and closed it behind her. His eyes closed against the pain of her words, knowing that she meant exactly what she'd said. If only he could give her what she wanted, the very thing that she needed. There was no going back now, no erasing her feelings nor his own. All that was left was to live with the guilt of knowing what had just happened. In the long run he'd be hurting the one woman who meant everything to him even more. He could never admit of their relationship to one another nor could he show her just how much he loved her. "Oh God, what have I done?" In the silence of the room, there was no answer.