Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction ❯ Goodbye ❯ Goodbye ( Chapter 3 )

(This chap is dedicated to my friend Jen. (You know why… I hope))

Absentmindedly turning on the radio, he laid on the couch, eyes closed and arm resting on his forehead. He ignored the growling coming from his stomach, not feeling like getting up, and listened to the music softly coming from the kitchen. At first Kurama didn’t really pay attention but then a song came on that caught his attention. He sat up, staring curiously into space is he listened, scarcely breathing, and not moving. When the song was over, Kurama heard the announcer call the song, “Smile” by Lonestar. Kurama didn’t stir for another few minutes, deep in thought and considering the things the song had to say.

Lonestar was right though, if he really loved Hiei, he would let him go. Kurama got up, putting his coat back on and hurrying down the street, anxious to get to the store and back before nightfall. He walked into a book and music store, walking to the racks that held the CDs, then realizing, he didn’t know the name of the album. Kurama quietly walked up to the clerk and told him the name of the song and the artist. The clerk stooped behind the counter, then handed him a CD.

“ Lonely Grill. You’re lucky, that’s the last copy; they sold fast.” Kurama nodded his thanks and paid for the CD, then hurried home. By the time he got home, his mother was home from work, smiling as he came through the door.

“What do you have there, Shuichi.” Kurama smiled back, walking over to his mother and giving her a kiss.

“Just some good advice.” Kurama walked up the stairs to his room, opening his small CD player and putting in the new CD. He looked on the back for the track number, and set it to play. He listened to it once through, a sense of reprieve washing over him, and putting his aching heart at ease. Kurama smiled subtly, pulling his guitar from his closet and sitting in his desk chair. He quickly found the chords, and a little roughly, played along with the song. On the third try, he had the chords down, and almost knew the words.

The sun just setting, left an orange glow in the sky as Kurama sang the song for the fourth time, by himself.

“I still remember the night we met

You said you loved my smile”

Kurama sang with all his heart, not loudly, for he didn’t want his mother to hear, but loud enough to hear over his guitar.

“But your love for me was like a summer breeze

Oh, it lasted for a while”

Kurama smiled to himself, thinking of Hiei again, but this time, he wasn’t depressed like he was before.

“I could hold on a little tighter I know

But when you love someone you gotta let 'em go.”

Kurama paused for a moment, and took a deep breath, telling himself he would let Hiei go, because he loved him. Smiling a little to himself, Kurama continued.

“So, I'm gonna smile, 'cause I want to make you happy

Laugh, so you can't see me cry

I'm gonna let you go in style

And even if it kills me

I'm gonna smile.”

Kurama smiled again, whispering to himself before he continued, “Even if it kills me.”

“Kiss me once for the good times, baby

Kiss me twice for goodbye

You can't help how you don't feel

And it doesn't matter why

Give me a chance to bow out gracefully

'Cause that's how I want you to remember me.”

‘Don’t forget me Hiei,’ Kurama thought, going on to the chorus.

“I'm gonna smile, 'cause I want to make you happy

Laugh, so you can't see me cry

I'm gonna let you go in style

And even if it kills me

I'm gonna smile.”

‘I still love you…’ Kurama kept singing and ignored the tear that rolled down his cheek.

“I'm gonna smile so you can find the courage

Laugh, so you won't see me hurtin'

I'm gonna let you go in style

And even if it kills me

I'm gonna smile...”

Kurama smiled once more, still crying silently, and set his guitar against the wall, laying down onto his bed and immediately falling asleep.

Outside, a small fire demon was perched in the tree, listening intently and enjoying the music. There was a pause of silence when the song ended and Hiei smiled.

“Hn,” he said softly before he disappearing into the red dusk.

(If you ever get a chance to listen to the song “Smile” DO! it’s a lovely, but sad song. Really! Great music and perfect lyrics. It’s my new favorite song)