Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction ❯ He is My Sensui ❯ Chapter 1

I finally wrote this, after a year of saying I would do so.

Disclaimer: Yuu Yuu Hakusho would be the world's most famous shonen ai series if I owned it. Well, more so than it already is. I also don't own “Field of Innocence”. I don't entirely know who does, but it is not me.

Warnings: One-sided shonen ai, Itsuki/Sensui. Itsuki is a little out of character, but that's mostly just because he's been in the void so long that he's gone a little mental. The song is depressing, too.

 

He is My Sensui

 

He is captivating. He is vile. He is ravishing. He is deadly. He is the most horrendous, the most beautiful, the most dangerous, and the most incredible person I have ever met. He entranced me and drew me in without either of us realizing it.

I still remember the world
From the eyes of a child
Slowly those feelings
Were clouded by what I know now

Sensui is a man of extremes. His soul was once made of the purest light, but he has been tainted and ruined by the atrocities he has seen. I know this, because I watch over him. And I watch over him because I love him.

In the days when his fiery spirit radiated with life and love, all of his mind and body was dedicated to the human race. He never seemed to spare so much as a thought for Itsuki, his ever loyal companion. I didn't mind. Perhaps he knew that I would always belong to him and that he would always find me beside him, no matter how atrocious his crimes or how cruel his behavior.

Where has my heart gone
An uneven trade for the real world
I want to go back to
Believing in everything and knowing nothing at all

In fact, it was a painfully fascinating experience to watch his transition: in one night, he saw that humans are as susceptible to evil as demons, and that he was wrong about everything he had been fighting for his entire life. His black and white world of extremes could not withstand the fact that all beings, human and youkai alike, have the potential for any degree of both good and evil…he only knew that he had been betrayed, and that everything he thought he knew was a lie.

So beautiful. So tragic.

I still remember the sun
Always warm on my back
Somehow it seems colder now

Where has my heart gone
Trapped in the eyes of a stranger
I want to go back to
Believing in everything

My love for him, even in the midst of his emotional agony, never wavered. If anything, his suffering over killing the human tormentors, his clinging to me in his hour of need, intensified my adoration of him.

No other human, indeed no demon, has ever intrigued me so. His every word, his every glance, his every gesture makes me fall ever more deeply in love with him. A dark, savage, reckless and ultimately fatal love that draws me to him like a moth to the flame, and like that moth, the flame will eventually devour me.

[Latin hymn:]
Iesu, Rex admirabilis
Et triumphator nobilis,
Dulcedo ineffabilis,
Totus desiderabilis.

Where has my heart gone
An uneven trade for the real world
I want to go back to
Believing in everything
Away

My death is a sacrifice that is almost unworthy of such a perfectly flawed being, though I do owe him my very soul. Sensui did not just spare me from a glorious death at his hands all those years ago; he became my reason for living. Now he is my reason for death. After all, even a demon like me can only survive so long in this void. Soon, I will join his spirit, and we will roam this non-place for the remainder of all eternities.

We will be alone. We will be together. And he will be mine.

He is my Sensui.

Where has my heart gone
Trapped in the eyes of a stranger
I want to go back to
Believing in everything

I still remember.