Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction ❯ Healing (My Kitsune p3) ❯ Healing 1 ( Chapter 1 )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

My Kitsune p3 Healing chp1 (New York 11-20-02)


"...We dance around in a ring and suppose,
But the secret sits in the middle and knows..."

- Robert Frost


I slept the rest of the flight, about 6 hours worth
I'll need my strength when we land. Another meal was
being set out, but I don't really like the food they
serve, it's not fresh, good enough for survival but
not really palatable.

I am well, I get light headed when I walk around too
much but otherwise I am alright. Kurama has great
skill with healing and I am confident in his care.

He didn't wake me but I heard him say something about
coffee and me later on. I'm finally picking up on this
language it's a bit hard but I'll be fluent enough in
a week or so.

When the intercom said it's 1 hour before we land I
felt Kurama leave my side, probably to walk around or
do his business, I'm not really asleep now, just
staying still and thinking of what we talked about
before I decided to take a nap.

I will never forget what the Youko and I did in Hong
Kong and that closeness we had shared afterwards,
Kurama knew I needed to get used to the sensation of
having him within my personal space now that I let him
in that far. I've never let anybody get that close to
me, never let my walls down, never let anyone see who
lies under my steel clad exterior.

How'd he get in? Or more accurately, when.

How'd I end up... loving that stupid kitsune?

I've always respected Kurama's abilities, his skills
as a thief and ruthlessness as a killer is legendary,
I heard about him many times before he got killed and
dissapeared for a good 14 years, until I found him and
challenged him to see if there was any truth to all
the stories I've been hearing.

I thought him soft then, and weak when he cared for
me after our battle. I was in a previous fight with
that demon... whatsisname? I forgot he was that
unremarkable. But I was injured so I wasn't in top
condition when I fought Kurama and I lost. I owed him
a debt of gratitute for what he did. I hate owing
anybody anything, specially my life because I give
little value to it when it comes to getting what I
want and keeping it. When he got the mirror and wished
for his mother's life and hapiness I thought him
completely pathetic, he wasn't Youko Kurama he was a
Ningen Shuichi Minamono and when he actually helped
that stupid Yusuke beat me I was angry at him.

That anger didn't stay long because soon enough we
we're fighting against Suzaku and his beasts, Yusuke
earned my respect then and afterwards when we rescued
my sister I actually called them my friends.

I've never had friends before. Never needed any, I've
purposely betrayed and anger all my allies so I can
fight them and prove to myself that I needed no one,
specially if they are weak. Yusuke in his brash way
trusted me with his life and his back in many battles.
Kuwabara was my designated carrier everytime I fall
asleep from using the Kokoryuuha, and he never poked
me about it. He teases me about my height and my
attitude but never my need to sleep after the use of
my power. Then again I'm asleep...

He respects my power, I guess teasing me is his way
of flirting with death. I won't kill Kuwabara, he's
earned my respect too, his stubborness and his loyalty
to us his team mates stops me from hurting him
seriously.

Plus Yukina fancies him. Gods! That oaf as my
brother-in-law! I should have warned him off, but...
he dosen't know about me and Yukina. I don't want them
to know, period. There's too much blood on my hands,
and there's that stupid promise I made to that
Shigure.

Koenma? I have no choice but to respect that brat, he
is a god and have given me chances to reform. If it
weren't for him and his Reikai Tantei I'd be in hell.

Kurama... behind my eyes the silver fox looked at me
with cold golden shards of ruthlessness, when
recognition set in, the eyes melted into concern then
blazed with fury.

Yomi and Kurama? I shoved it away from me. I can't
think of that now... too complicated, I feel like...
No, don't want to feel it! Shove it away, do it later
when your alone.

Ch.

Koenma's sure to know of the Youko's killing that
ningen, the blood on his lips attested to the fact
that he tore the throat of that unfortunate human.
Kurama went mad when he saw me pierced with that
spear, the guy didn't stand a chance. He was torn limb
from limb by the Youko's fury, and he said if I hadn't
called him he would have been lost...

If he hadn't recognized me I'd be dead, a puddle of
gore right next to that human. The energy signiture I
read from him was way beyond what the Kurama of 2
years ago had. This was a raging upper class S demon,
a match for Yomi himself. And certainly my death in my
weakened and wounded state.

And what did the Youko do? He cursed, he crushed the
human's head like a mushy fruit knelt down to look
smaller and begged ME to let him heal ME.

I felt Kurama's prescence besides me again and the
warm smell of sweet coffee with chocolate and some
spice in it. The smell was so strong he must be
holding it under my nose. I opened an eye to look at
him. "Good morning koi." he said setting my cup on his
table besides his small cup that had very dark coffee
in it "You'll love this, it's called capuccino."

I yawned and sat up, "It smells nice. Thank you."

I took a sip and nodded in appreciation, I can see
land coming up, it's well pass dawn and almost mid
morning the sun is brilliant and the ocean that same
deep blue. I realized I was seeing buildings from this
distance and was awed by their sheer size. Yomi's
castle is bulkier and larger, but this ningen sprawl
of buildings is so... massive.

There must be millions of people in there.

" Can you see it? Big isn't it?" Kurama said looking
out the window. So it's too far for him to see yet.

"Aa." I sipped my coffee, it was sweet, like the
other coffee I had at Yusuke's. But I like this one
better.

"Did I put enough sugar in it?" Kurama asked.

Kurama made me coffee. I looked at him and nodded.
"It's good, better than Botan's, thank you." out of
curiosity I picked up his cup and took a sip.

"Ack!" I drank from my cup his coffee was so bitter
it made my throat dry, I feel like my tounge is
curling in on itself...

He chuckled "Double espresso." he said while I was
washing out the black stuff with my capuccino. I
stared at him and just shook my head.

"Botan told you how I take my coffee?" I asked.

"Aa, she thought I might find it handy." he said
sipping his bitter brew.

"Hn."

I took a lock of his hair into my hand to assure him
and looked out the window again. I like the texture of
this crimson mane, so I guess I'm assuring us by
toying with it.

Us. I can't believe I could actually propose to him
and did. All I was thinking back then was.... a
hell... I have my pride, I don't want to owe anyone
money wise, I don't want to be a freeloader when I
know I have more money than Kurama and he's too
gracious to ask me. If he could he'd pay for
everything and that would not be right.

I've always depended on myself, I've never leaned on
anyone nor asked anyone for help, I've never trusted
anyone with anything of mine, until now.

I wanted to assure Kurama that it was alright to have
the diamonds, I had more, plus it's convenient for me
to just tag along and let him handle everything, in
light of our relationship I told him I wanted him to
take care of me. He seems to like doing it, rubbing
scented lotion on my skin, picking the clothes I will
wear, feeding me...

It was an odd sensation being hand fed by the Youko
of my moonlit dreams, his face concentrating on the
delicate balance of taste he fed me, feeding himself
occasionally but giving me the best parts of
everything. I wanted to protest but... the power
tripper in me was having too much fun.

And I guess that was Kurama's point. So when I told
him also that a husband gives his earnings to his wife
and the wife is expected to care for him, I was merely
illustrating what ningens do to solve such problems
between them and I was thinking of what he's done for
me already.

Kurama is a man and he has a man's pride, I've seen
this often enough, so I was surprised that he actually
accepted my offer, he said he didn't mind being my
wife.

My onna.

Do I mind being his husband? Not at all!

He must really love me to do these things for me. Is
this what people do to show their love? I've asked
myself this question before, hundreds of times this
past hours, how do I show Kurama that I care deeply
for him, that I... I actually love him.

I'm so unfamilliar with that word. It's been used,
overused, abused, but very unfamilliar to me. Love.

When we land and we get to that hotel I will show him
how much I learned and how much I love him. I'll try,
and I will succeed. I can't say no to such a simple
request when I'd given him that thing I've guarded
more jealously than my life. My heart.

There are several bitter lessons I learned in my
youth. Don't trust anyone, don't cry (your enemies
profit from your tears), don't let anyone get close to
you or they'll hurt you, if you don't feel it it
dosen't hurt, hurt them before they hurt you... all
of this became meaningless when the Youko walked into
my heart and sat there to preen his silver fur.

I could feel the tension in Kurama during the early
hours of the flight and now all I feel from him is
anticipation and exitement. When the captain said we
should buckle up I felt a surge of pure excitement
from Kurama. It was infectious.

I grinned at him "Excited?"

He leaned in close and whispered in that husky voice
"No, dying of anticipation."

"Hn." I crossed my arms "Don't expect much, I"m not
an expert."

"It dosen't matter, it's you, and that's all I need."
his eyes kissed me. A stewardess smiled a good morning
at us, I nodded at her and I prepared myself for the
descend that ususally took my breath away.

If I wanted my breath taken from me all I have to
really do is look at Kurama right now and that
brilliant smile on his face as he buckled up.

I realized there's a big difference when you fly
first class, the food is better (suppose to be),
better seats, more space, your first to go in and
first to go out, there's virtually no lines at
customs, very little questions asked and once they
knew I was Japanese some of the Ningens greeted me
Ohayo. I just followed Kurama around with my duffle
bag over my shoulder, he had his back-pack and the big
suitcase with the tiny squeeky wheels. The air smells
different, I think It's because the people in it smell
different, It was more varied and... not too dense.
Although there were a lot of people in New York
everything is 2 to 3 times bigger than in Tokyo .

And it seems to includes the people.

The cab Kurama hailed is bigger and yellow, the guy
behind the wheel is dark like chocolate with darker
hair hair in strings and knots speaking his own
strange version of the english language. The buildings
hurt my neck as I looked up at them and their
entrances are grand and imposing. Human beehives
thrumming with activity surrounded by sidewalks where
4 to 5 of these big people can walk abreast.

"That my man is the Chrystler builden." the driver
said talking to Kurama "Yo hotel is right next to
central park, snazzy pleaz man, yo be careful yo don
go out at night withou protectshun man, lots of
crazies and muggers even in wintah."

"Your Jamaican aren't you?" Kurama asked with an
amused smile.

"Eh man? Is it the accent or the clothes?" he laughed
tossing his stringy hair back. He's dressed like he
wanted all the colors of the rainbow on himself.

Kurama chuckled and replied "A bit of both."

"Stole into america when I was kid man, en now this
great city is hom 10 yirs! I kno Nu Yowk like d beck
of me hands. Bin a drivin cabs 2 years man, gotta keep
the mizzuz and the kids happy eh?" he went on like
this twisting his words so some of them I barely
understood.

Kurama listened to him I kept my attention on the
streets. So many people, dressed in coats and boots,
in jackets... big cars, everything bigger. I realized
that I'm going to stick out here where as Kurama will
blend in perfectly. It was the opposite in Japan where
my hair color and height seemed normal.

When the park came up I was surprised at it's size, I
should not have been, I should have expected it would
be big too. I had a sudden urge to go on top of the
highest building in New york and see it sprawled
before my Jagan.

"Kurama? What's the highest building here?"

"It's the...oh... excuse me,"and he began talking to
the cabbie.

"Yah man! The World Trede Centah been blon to bits.
Stuped terrorist blowin a lanmark of me cite. Tha was
a yeer ago man. We are at war weed stuped Afgan
terrorist waz his nem... Ben Lehden..." he ranted on
and Kurama seemed genuinely concerned. These things do
not concern me, so I waited patiently for my answer.

I hate traffic... and listening to the man I'm
finally picking up on his accent. He came from one of
the islands south from here, he has pictures of
beaches and a woman and 2 kids pasted to his car.
Colorful stickers and strange things decorated his
cab. He owns this taxi and works his own hours and
even offered Kurama the tour of the city for a certain
prize.

I sense his honesty, he sincerely wish to welcome us
to his "see-teh". So when Kurama looked to me for
confirmation I simply nodded. Nothing like a native to
show you around, it's dangerous going into new
territory without a guide, I can see from my window
how different things are here. People bump each other
in the streets and they don't even pause to apologize,
they just go on.

Then we stopped at the foot of an old building. It
wasn't immense like the others but it carried with it
an air of age and elegance. Like a different era made
it, a doorman met us and took Kurama's bags, I refused
to part with mine. Kurama gave the Jamaican twice the
fare and accepted the calling card the man gave him.

"Hey thanks man! Call me eh?" he said as he went back
to his cab.

"I want to go to the Empire State Building tomorrow."
I said as I followed the man with our bags. Kurama a
step behind me.

"Of course, Benny will take us around, I'll call him
and we can hire him for the whole day."

"Ch. I'm having a hard time as it is listening to a
normal english speaker without him adding to the
difficulty with his strange intonations."

He laughed, and put an arm freely on my shoulder
"Every piece of America has it's own accent, the
people of New York sound different from the people of
California and both are different from the ones in
Texas. The native english speaker knows where a person
came from purely by listening to their accent. Kinda
like us knowing if a person came from Hokkaido or
Osaka just by listening to them."

"Your point?" I asked even if I knew what it was.

"You have a heavily accented English that says to
every american here that your Japanese."

"Hn." I ignored the uniformed doorman as he held the
door for us.

"I think I should start speaking in English so you'll
pick up faster. What do you think?" I stared at the
lobby, I stared at the wealth of chandelier and golden
lights, I stared at the rich carpets and the fresh
flowers everywhere. There was gold on the couches gold
on the curtains, gold embellishments on the walls and
ceilings. I'm impressed. "Hiei?"

"Sure. Whatever." I said that in English paying half
a mind to Kurama, his reflection on the mirror behind
the tall black marble reception desk smiled at me.

"Hello, Mr. Suiichi, Mr. Jaganashi, we've been
expecting you, your agent called to let us know of
your arrival..." she moved from the desk to lead us
to our rooms and I was greatly annoyed that I was
looking up at her.

Gods, does this mean I have to look up to everybody
here?

The elevator is spacious and the mirrors surrounding
it made it seem more so. I can see Kurama talking to
the blonde lady, his face is open and without a care.
The 'bellhop' with our bags is big old and quiet,
dressed in a tan and black suit, with gold strings on
his shoulders like he was a soldier or something. I
cast around for an evil intention against us and
sensed nothing, the baggage man is disinterested, just
doing his job, the woman on the other hand is flirting
with MY Kurama.

I scowled at him. She's as tall as Kuwabara with her
elevated shoes, blonde hair that would never match my
Youko's, eyes like the pale skies outside. She's
innocent and would get me in trouble with Koenma if I
do something to her. She didn't have to leave the desk
to show us to our quarters, she did it to score points
with Kurama.

I felt myself bristle and scowled darker at Kurama
who finally noticed my discomfiture.

"That's a great idea, maybe my boyfriend and I will
do as you suggest. Love? Would you like to go bar
hopping after we are done our business?" He said his
arms back over my shoulder.

I saw the woman's face crumple for a second before
she smiled again, I smirked at her.

"Sure." I muttered in English so the woman would
understand. "But not tonight, I have plans for you."

Kurama's brows went up then he blushed red to the
roots of his hair he ducked his head with a smile.
When our floor came up he stepped aside for me showing
the stupid onna who's boss.

"Are we going out for our meals? Or should I..." he
asked as we got to the door. The woman went to the
door and opened it with a plastic key card.

"Have something delivered." I said as she forced a
smile on her face for us.

"Please enjoy your stay with us, if you need anything
don't hesitate to call, we have an in-house restaurant
you can call for french and continental cuisine or if
you want I can give you the numbers to several
top-notch Japanese restaurants in New York."

I ignored her and went inside forcing Kurama to deal
with her. I fished a bill from the fold and handed it
to the guy who thanked me, I told him to go I did not
want a tour of the rooms, we'll find out about it
later.

I stood there and admired the room's old grace. I'm
beggining to appreciate those Koorimes who attacked
me. The place is opulent to say the least, there's
gold everywhere and red velvet. The chairs were carved
and has gold thread in it's seat. A giant living
Christmas tree in the corner sent the clean smells of
pine into the room, a plate with assorted decorated
cookies sat on the round marble desk in the middle of
the room, there's a card on it with a name in gold
letters and the vase looming over cookies was full of
bright red and white flowers Kurama called
poinsettias.

I smiled appreciatively at the living room. I heard
the door close and Kurama's prescence approaching.
Steps as quiet as a cat's on the red carpet. He took
my jacket off my shoulders then I felt his arms
surround me slowly. "There's no one for me but you
koi, you know that." he chided me, his lips brushing
the sensitive curve of my outer ear. I can hear his
laughter even if he didn't laugh, I sense his need to
assure me. I can't hold a grudge against him even if I
tried. His lips nibbled my ear and I realized we are
alone and I can do what I want with him.

I pushed my face against his rubbing his cool cheek,
but I wanted to punish him for flirting with that
girl. I put my arms around his holding him to me then
I bent low hooked a foot between his legs and threw
him over my shoulder and down to the floor. He landed
on his back stunned, I wrapped an arm around his
throat before he can gather his wits into a choke
hold. In his ear I whispered, "I'm jealous. Never do
that in front of me."

"I'm sorry love, I won't do that again." I brought
him up higher and wrapped another arm around him, I
loosened my choke hold and right there in front of the
tree I held him tighter against me. His back flush
against my chest.

"I will make you mine Kurama, I want you mine."

"Then do it. What are you waiting for?" He said
twisting around to show me the challenge in his eyes .
I pulled his hair back and took his lips with all the
brutal need of my suppressed libido. He moaned into my
mouth as I assulted his tender lips forcing them open
with a hand squeezing his cheeks.

I am fire and ice, I have my mother's ability to hold
my passions at bay indefinitely, but I am also my
father's bastard and once aroused our passions burn
hot enough to set things on fire.

I tore Kurama's clothes from his body ripping his
sweater and his shirt to shreds with my fingers I can
feel the heat crackling around us as I gave vent to my
need to touch him, to be with him skin to skin. I bent
to bite his nipple and his cry was mingled pain and
pleasure. I sucked on that bruised thing intending to
draw blood feeling it turn into a hard pebble between
my tounge and the back of my teeth I pulled and was
rewarded with another cry ending in a guttural moan.

His hands clutched my head I shook it off and tore
his pants off him. His engorged need sprung out of
it's denim and silken cage I paused to wonder at his
length and I was seized with the need to get rid of
all these barriers so I can feel his cool naked skin
against mine. I sent his shoes flying and his socks
and when I finally have him stripped before me I was
out of patience, I burned the clothes off my body.

He gasped and looked at the ceiling. But I have my
flame under control and the clothes burned without
smoke. His eyes turned to me and I saw in them
complete absolute surrender. It shook me to the core
of my being that a person could give of himself so
completely. If I wanted to I could.... well, we'll see
the extent of his surrender!

The heat in the room quadrupled and I heared the tree
crackle dangerously on the verge of combustion. I
grabbed Kurama by the hair and dragged him away from
it. I pushed him on the coffee table in the middle of
the living room it was wood not long enough to hold
him but long enough. He backed over the black ornate
thing his skin a sharp creamy contrast, his eyes
closed his breath hitching.

He is beautiful. Beautiful, so beautiful. That I
never realized how really.... ah there's got to be a
hundred ways to describe beauty but I was stuck to
reapeating that one word. Beautiful.

He gasped as cold table met with warm skin and as his
eyes opened I saw the intense need in them that same
burning passion that told me he can handle anything I
can dish out, and I bet he can. His lips were bruised
and swollen a bit of blood trickled from a small cut,
his nipple was bruised and was turning purple. I had
the sudden urge to decorate his body with my kisses.

I realized that I'm being driven by pure instincts,
by a gut emotion I had that bordered on violence. I'm
being cruel to Kurama, I was doing to him what had
been done to me, I was giving him none of the
tenderness and patience he so gracefully granted me.

But I get the impression that he likes what I'm
doing...

I straddled him and we gasped as the sharp contrast
between our skins met, gently this time I took his
lips lingering, savoring, saying sorry for what I've
done and for what I'm about to do. I felt his hands
run up my cheeks and thumbs hooked themselves under my
Jagan ward. His chest was cool it soothed the burning
I could feel within me, I can feel his erection
against mine and I rubbed myself against him. I moaned
with the pleasure that act brought me, I'm quickly
running out of control, Kurama, my lover.

He was moaning under me as I pushed again, my ward
still over his thumbs, his hands enclosing my head in
a cool vice. I opened my eyes to look into his, and
the passion in them made me shudder I wanted to
consume him I lapped the blood on his lip and moaned,
that deliciouse forbidden taste of human blood mingled
with the heady flavor of youko, it was so good!

"Hiei, may I?" he asked voice thick, husky, pulling
at my ward as I ate his words along with blood from
his cut lower lip.

I nodded, and he took my ward off. As my eye flew
open the first thing I saw hovering behind my
Kitsune's eyes was Yomi. I growled and pulled away
from him my hand fisted, my teeth bared in anger.

Kurama WAS Yomi's. It hit me like one of Yusuke's Rei
Gan. He's said it to me before and it had hovered
behind my thoughts during the flight but now it's
here, out in the open, I can see it! When he reached
for me I lept away.

Yomi fucked Kurama and he let him do it over and
over. For years!!!

"Hiei?" he asked.

"Why Kurama!? Why'd you let him?!" I asked. Angry,
hurt, disgusted!At whom? I don't know! I'm just... I
wanted to shout at him I wanted to hurt him but then I
realized this was the same feeling I had earlier
except this is more intense, several levels more
intense!

I'm Jealouse because Kurama let Yomi have him! Over
and over!!!

My Kurama!

The look on his face made me stop, the misery in it
tore at me, I've never seen this lost look on him
before and his burning aura of blues and greens shrank
till he was nothing more than flesh and blood,
kneeling on the small table, a naked offering to my
wrath.

It cooled me considerably. I realized I have no right
to be mad at him for bedding Yomi. He isn't mine, not
yet, and his time with Yomi is... cleaner compared to
my time with 24. I was ashamed at myself, ashamed of
my outburst, I am mad at myself. But, the things he
hinted at in the plane... I want to know why he let
him do that.

"Why Kurama?" I asked, this time in a calmer voice,
my anger though was still there coupled with my
disgust and self loathing. I saw his breath hitch then
a hard determination lined his bleeding lips. He
looked at me, the Youko looked at me through Suiichi's
green eyes as he pulled his red hair away from his
back and placed it in front then he turned around on
his knees to show me his back.

I gasped and fell back a step. He knelt higher and I
saw that the fine web of silken scars extended all the
way to his buttocks and thighs.

I'm confused, why did he let him do this to him?
Those are claw marks and... and theres a knife cut,
whip marks and something straight, a switch used on a
Makai beast of burden?

Then I understood perfectly why! He told me so
himself. My lids stung as my throat constricted on
itself, disabling speech.

"Why do I need this?" Kurama's voice asked softly his
fingers touching scars on his shoulders "Why are we
made with the capacity to know, need and give love? We
have no need for such as demons. There are times I
think Suiichi is a curse, and I tried to kill him only
to fail miserably. This my beloved is the scars of my
misery."

He let Yomi do this to him, seeking love or what ever
form of affection his humanity needed.

"This human body should bear them, these are bitter
lessons I need to remember." He looked over his
shoulder at me his eyes cold and indifferent "The
height of love given is the depth of hate when
betrayed. I betrayed the love I felt for you," he sat
back on his heels. "I felt poinless in the Ningenkai
and decided to join you in the Makai, we met in that
forest. Do you remmeber Hiei? You we're so dedicated
to being Mokuro's heir. We talked and you made me
realize that you've moved on, that you didn't want me
in your life. My entire existence became pointless. I
had nothing to hold on to except my demon nature and
the place Yomi had given me in his life."

"So why Hiei? I don't really know. And I'm sorry. I
understand if you can't forgive me, if you want me to
go just say so, I won't hold it against you." He began
to stand up.

"Stay." I pushed the words pass my throat and it came
out as a guttural growl. I felt like my insides have
been scraped raw. My arousal was gone, I was the root
of that misery. It was my fault.

I'm a blind fool, how could I have done this to him?
I knew he liked me and cared for me but I never
thought it could be like this. If I had let him come
closer I would have known and none of this would have
happened. Thousands of opporturnities have passed me
by, I denied my curiosity and froze that side of me
that craved his companionship, keeping my eyes focused
on an illusion of power.

Mokuro knew this that's why she let me go and gave me
those tear gems. She knew I loved Kurama and have been
hiding it from myself. When I heard he was in the
Ningenkai I left to look for him, to see if he was
alright. I don't know when I've started loving Kurama
but he made me realize that I loved him the day he
first made love to me, I did not understand how to
really love someone.

Saying sorry is not enough. I've neglected him, after
all the care he has given me, I've neglected my
closest most trustworthy friend. Words cannot repair
this, but that's all I have, that and my stupid pride.

For the first time in my adult life I knelt in front
of another man and bowed my head to the floor "Kurama,
Gomenasai."