Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction ❯ I Guess ❯ One-Shot

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

OKAY GUYS!!! I am only here to do the disclaimer. There will not be a note at the end. Well, and I want to tell you something as well. I want to ask you if this should be an intro to an epic, or just a one shot. And I also want you to tell me if it should have a sequel. Oh yeah, and I want to know who "the person that she talks to should be" Personally, I think it should be in Keiko's point of view, talking to Yusuke. But since I am a diplomatic person, I'll let you choose. Here are the options:

Speaker Person being spoken to

Keiko Yusuke
OC Kurama
Botan Kurama
OC Hiei
Botan Hiei
Botan Koenma
Yukina Kuwabara (this one is just to be fair to the poor bakamonkey, and how can you be mean to sweet, innocent Yukina?)


Okay, those are your choices, please do not stray away from them because it would then be really confusing for me. And don't forget the other questions!!!

Disclaimer: AA1 owns nothing but the computer on which she writes these fics.

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I Guess


I guess I was stupid to believe that you were serious when you said you loved me. Like you said, it's my fault that you left me. I was to clingy, too in your face, to worried about you. Yes, I worried endlessly about you when you were with the Rekai Tentai to fight off demons.

I guess I was wrong to tend to your wounds when you came back beaten up and nearly dead. I suppose that you meant it when you said that you were strong enough to handle it. I guess you believed that I only made you weak.

And I guess I was naïve to believe that you didn't like girl like her. Girls with skirts that hiked up sluttily, and who wore tiny shirts that show enough to be lingerie. I was an idiot.

I walk through the park, walk the path that we walked together so many times. I catch a glimpse of you and her underneath the sakuya tree we used to sit beneath. She's in your lap, your whispering sweet nothings in her ear, like you did with me. I walk on, blocking out the images flooding my mind. You have noticed me, but I pretend that I don't care about how you caress your sluts legs, or how you nuzzle her neck lovingly.

I guess I should be grateful that you didn't cheat on me, and waited. I guess I should be happy that your happy.. But I'm not. Niether grateful nor happy. You have broken me into pieces and hidden them, fating me to search for them and piece them back together, like a jigsaw puzzle. But you don't care, do you? As long as you have her to please you in the way I never would, your happy.

I made my life revolve around yours. What effected you, effected me in the same way. And now that you've left me, I am merely a shell of non-emotion. I will lock away my pain and show you how strong I am.

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It's been a year since you left me. Autumn used to be my favorite season, bringing joy and hope for a new life, but now it's filled with sorrows and woes that haunt me constantly, brings back memories that I would rather avoid.

Your still with her. How sad. Every time I glance at you, pass you in the hallway, she makes a note to send her slut minions after me. And almost every day after school, she does. They beat me until I can no longer breath, then drag me to a nearby bush to knock me out. I come home late and get beaten by my mother and go upstairs with nothing for dinner and take a shower. I cut my arms with my razor to concentrate on the crimson comfort, my only true friend. I know it will not mutilate my heart. I go to sleep crying every night. But you don't care, you still don't care.

You stare at me when I walk past you in my longsleeved shirts and baggy pants, wincing slightly every so often when the loose fabric brush against my arms. I wear dark make up and my hair down to cover my cuts and bruises. . . Why do you stare? Are you surprised to see that the vibrant girl you once knew has turned into this? My shiny, healthy hair now brittle and dull, my once life-filled, loving eyes void of any emotion, cold, distant? Because my grades have plumitted to the point of suspension, my strong and solidness has turned to insecurity and bitterness? No, you just see me as a freak now. A disturbing freak who you once dated.

I fought back today. That self defense you taught me knocked out all of her friends and gave her a black eyes. I hope you don't mind. . . After all, it's nothing compared to what I have been put through. I know that she'll run to you, claiming that I had attacked her, accusing her of stealing you away, but I don't care. I don't care about anything anymore.

You confronted me today. Demanding why I had attacked her. How right was I? You asked if it was jealousy, if I thought it would get you back. 'Don't flatter yourself,' I told you, 'just remember to keep her on a leash, she might hurt somebody.' And I tried to walk away. But you grabbed my arm roughly and I couldn't hold back the hiss of pain that erupted from my throat. You let go and stared at me with those eyes that I would have melted at seeing a year ago. But without even looking twice at you I walked away, calling over my shoulder remember to keep that bitch on a leash (pun intended).

I don't know what you did afterwards, but once I was out of sight, I broke out into a run. I ran all the to the park, ignoring the pain that it brought me. I found our special spot, a small clearing with a lake and a waterfall. The water was transparent and shown all the way to the bottom, which was covered in pebbles. I made my way over to a small bluff, right next to the waterfall. I dressed down to only my underclothes, putting them in a small pile. I dived into the frigid waters, savoring the shock that ran through my body. The bruises and cuts on my body were cooled by it, eased by freezing temperatures. I closed my eyes and submerged myself in the water that was becoming warmer by the minute. When I finally came back up, I was near the shore and I saw the tree in which carved our names. Immediately, the throbbing came back.

I swam slowly over, the waters becoming cold once more, or was it just my own body? Walking out of the water, I let the small pearls of liquid drip down my it. When I reached the large oak tree, I traced my fingers wistfully along the kanji characters. Our names carved in perfect harmony. They fit so well together, a small, sad smile reached my lips. Within, the feelings I still hold for you stirred restlessly within me. I remembered the day that those names were placed there.

~Flashback~

" I will always love you." You whispered into my ear as you held me in your well toned arms, our hearts beating in unison, or so I thought. You told me you would never leave me and that we were forever. I had sighed and leaned against you as you kissed just below my ear.

~End Flashback~

Yes, I remember it perfectly, right down to type of knife you used to write the inscription. I guess I was also stupid to believe that you meant that as well.

I pull my hand away from the carving and slip out a knife that was hidden within the lining of my bra. I stab at the tree in fury, effectively erasing the inscription. I scrape and cut and stab until I'm was sure nobody will recognize the names. I slump down to the base of the tree and look at the shining blade on the knife. It glitters quietly in the broken sunlight, seemingly harmless. But without a moments hesitation, I slide the gleaming metal across my wrist (just so you know, you'd have to cut all the way up the vein to actually bleed to death.). I drag it from my ankle to my knee slowly, watching the sticky liquid drip down my calf.

I smile a smile that doesn't reach my eyes. An empty smile meant for you, to show just how empty I am after a year of life without you.

I slide the knife back into it's place and glide back into the frigid waters and head back for the bluff where my clothes were located. My arms pull me easily to the top and I stand to walk over and grab my clothes. After successfully pulling on the fabrics, I walk back to the main part of the park, where, unfortunately, the two of you are walking hand in hand. 'I see you haven't got that leash' I say with venom lacing my tone.

You give me a worried look, seeing blood drip from my fingers, while she glares at me, knowing that I was talking about her. I give you that empty smile and walk past without another glance. I make my way home, trying to hold back the tears that have been collecting for the last year, and I step in the house to meet a slap I the face, just like every other night.

~3 years later~

I sit here in this hospital chair, waiting for them to come out of the emergency room. You were knifed through the stomach by a possessed human. She sits as far away from me as possible. I am amazed that you stayed with her so long. Of course, your not the kind of person to leave the girl who is carrying your child, are you? You think I didn't think I'd notice that bulge in her stomach? Think again.

I hate you with a passion, my bitterness driving me to become what I am now. But here I am, waiting to see that your okay, that I can continue to suffer with your existence. I guess she wasn't as clingy as was, that she listened to you when you refused her help. Or did she even offer?

Finally the doctor comes out and lets us enter. I come in first, leaving the slow in the dust, or lack thereof. Your just waking up as I arrive at your bedside, I stare at you with those cold, emotionless eyes. You tell me that you saw the tree. I ask you how you liked it, you remain silent. But then you spoke, breaking the silence. You tell me that you proposed to her two months ago. I give you that empty smile that makes you shudder. You gaze up at me with pain filled eyes and say that you love with everything you have, and it doesn't matter what I think. My empty smile doesn't falter as I answer.

I say that you had told me that exact same thing many time when I was yours. I am perfectly aware of her being behind me and I turn and push her roughly out of the way, but not hard enough to actually hurt her. My cold smile remains until I am out of the hospital. When I'm clear, the tears that had been pent up for four years come running down my cheeks.

I reach the forest and drop down to my knees where I cry shamelessly into my hands. I thought I could handle the pain, but I was wrong, I suppose. It seems that ever since I met you, I had been stupid to think and believe things that in my mind were all there was. You were my first love, but now you are my curse.

And I guess I was stupid to believe you were serious when you said you loved me.

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Well? Howdya like it? Review! And I totally respect flamers, so flames are good with me, I see it as a learning experience. Please review and answer the questions at the top!! BAI!!