Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction ❯ If the Roses Die ❯ Mysterious and Magical ( Chapter 5 )

Disclaimer: I own nothing Yuu Yuu Hakusho related except for about seven tapes of English dubs, seven DVDs, and one wall scroll.

Part III of the Silver Obsidian series

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Mysterious and Magical

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~Hiei~

Was he kind and giving? Even if only to a precious few? Was he the caring big brother to Yukina?

…Was he the selfish bastard, Forbidden in his own right?

"…Kurama, I need to know. This is the only place I can truly find out."

Kurama released him and turned away, his eyes watering again. "You don't trust my word…?" he whispered, hurt and even confused. Hiei painstakingly held back his own tears.

"No, Kurama, that isn't it - I do trust you, with all my heart, but…but I don't know…"

"Hiei, you must know…for my sake… You must know, for me."

Swallowing his heart and replacing "stoic" upon his face, Hiei looked directly at Kurama. "I trust you with my life, Kurama. I don't know if I trust Youko."

The half-transformed boy gasped and edged back a bit, lacing his fingers through silver and red hair and curling the brilliant tail protectively around his waist. His ears twitched wildly for a moment before flattening to his skull, glittering amidst newly turned patches of pure silver and shining in a light that seemed to only affect Kurama.

A million thoughts darted around Hiei at once, diving down from the cliff ledges above the ravine and swirling through the pair's very existences, taking on and losing substance like water and ice. He doesn't trust me? He doesn't trust all of me? He doesn't trust Youko? Doesn't trust Youko to do what? Why won't he open himself to me? What have I done wrong? What have I said? What haven't I said? What haven't I done that I should have? Why is this my fault? What did I do?

"NO!" Hiei shouted suddenly, overwhelmed by the hundreds of uncertain questions. "No, Kurama, you've done nothing wrong! It's not your fault, not at all!" Crawling towards his friend, Hiei drowned the last of his pride, as well, and grasped Kurama's arms. "Kurama, if it's anyone's fault, it's mine. I should never have done this to you, put you in this situation, dived so deeply into your mind and corrupted such a precious thing. If you must blame someone, let it be me."

"Hiei…" came the frightened whisper, the uncertainty of a thousand years old kitsune confronted with a situation he did not know how to handle and exposed in such a manner that nothing was safe, and nothing could be concealed. Youko was unsure, and so Shuuichi did not know what he was confronting, and Kurama was scared.

"Hiei…we are one and the same, Youko and I. Two beings make up this body, and they are equally combined into the being you are holding in your arms." For Hiei was holding him in his arms, clasped in something like a desperate hug, an attempt to wrench them both back to reality in the confines of an ancient mind that perhaps did not even know what reality was anymore. "You cannot love one and fear the other… You will only be hurt for it, and that isn't what I want…"

Hiei leaned back, still not releasing his hold, and blinked back something that may have been a tear.

"Kurama… I don't know if I - I mean, I can't - I…"

For once, his fluid intellect had turned to a mass of nothingness, and Hiei couldn't even arrange his thoughts to portray the idea he meant to get across.

"Kurama, I think it's time to wake up…"

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~Kurama~

He was lying spreadeagle on the floor, eyes tightly shut and fists clenched. The first thing Kurama noticed about his position was that something heavy was lying across him, but the last thing he wanted was to open his eyes.

Instead, he felt around his torso, drawing his hand across a long, thin mass of something solid that he quickly named as muscle. That would mean the mass was Hiei, unless one of the others had come to interrupt him, which was unlikely. He took great pains to drag his eyes open, and saw his little friend draped over his body, a blanket hugging him, keeping his warm against the unseasonable summer breeze penetrating the walls.

Hiei's eyes were also locked shut, but the Jagan remained open, purple glowing faintly, lowered to Kurama's chest when Hiei had lost his balance. Kurama lightly trailed a finger across Hiei's back, and the Jaganshi shuddered.

"Hiei-chan," he teased quietly, "time to wake up."

Hiei's eyes squeezed shut further, and he ducked his head slightly. Shaking it back and forth tickled Kurama's chest, and the kitsune laughed.

"C'mon, Hiei… I have something to tell you," he tantalized. "I can't exactly tell the top of your head, now, can I?"

A little joking sometimes went a long way, but Kurama hoped this time wouldn't land him further in hot water than he already might be. Hiei shivered, involuntarily or otherwise, Kurama couldn't tell, and raised himself up above Kurama, a hand to his head.

"Head rush?" Kurama asked kindly, stroking his friend's back lightly. Hiei nodded. "The Jagan does that sometimes…but I should be alright in a minute."

"I would certainly hope so…"

Hiei peered at him questioningly. Hope so?

He hopes I'm going to be alright? But…but Youko doesn't…and we aren't even in battle…and I don't…

I don't know…

"Why?"

Kurama looked sideways, a tint of a blush decorating his features and his eyes half-lidded. Crimson strands fell across his throat and shielded his face, and he murmured a shaky response.

"Of course, Hiei, you're my friend, and I want you to be better. Even if it is just a simple head rush."

"That's not it," Hiei scolded instantly. Something more was there, and he wanted to know what it was.

"Hiei, are you feeling better?" he asked instead, distracting the conversation. Hiei blinked.

"Yes…"

"Then I'm happy," Kurama concluded. "No questions asked, not here. Not in such a…tranquil environment. My friend was pained, he is healthy now, and I am happy."

Hiei picked himself up and sat back on Kurama's waist, frowning in confusion. Kurama was not speaking in the liquid alto Hiei knew so well, but a choppy, strained voice, a voice keeping a secret it could not let out. Kurama smiled at his adorable confusion, stubbornly ignoring the slight discomfort of Hiei's weight on his middle.

"Hiei, this is nice and all, but would you kindly…get up?" he asked finally, not sure he could take any more of the ever-growing soreness in his abdomen. The little youkai rolled off him, and they both stood up, one leaning on the other.

"Think you can stand on your own?" Hiei asked, only the smallest hint of stinging sarcasm behind the words. Kurama reached around and knocked on his head lightly.

"That wasn't necessary."

"No," Hiei countered, "but it entertained me." He paused, posing as if in thought. "Barely."

Kurama glared at his friend, who stepped back and dropped his supportive hold on Kurama's waist. Not expecting the loss, Kurama stumbled, tripping over the mat and almost falling flat on his face, but for Hiei's arm snapping out and pulling him upright at the last moment.

"That wasn't, either."

"That's true," Hiei replied nonchalantly, making his way towards the door.

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~Hiei~

Having his fun with the red-haired kitsune was all well and good, but they were in need of a serious discussion. One he wouldn't be at a disadvantage for, when Kurama couldn't read his every thought before he could even decipher them. Somehow, he felt a change in atmosphere would be necessary for the conversation, or, if not necessary, then at least a great help, to his nerves if not to his friend's.

Gaining stability with every passing second, Hiei made his way to the last room of the house he was sure would be vacant: the one where Kurama had slept off the Kyuuketsu Shokubutsu.

Padding in the door, he immediately collapsed on the futon, leaning back against the wall and looking at the door expectantly, waiting for Kurama. He didn't have to wait long before his friend entered, kneeling on the mat somewhat more gracefully than Hiei himself had, and laying himself down, propped up on one arm.

"Chat?" he asked conversationally. Hiei nodded slightly.

"Yes…chat."

It was indeed a productive idea, but neither party seemed willing to instigate it.

Kurama opened his mouth as if to speak, and Hiei nearly smiled at the end of the silence, until Kurama's mouth closed and no words came out.

Hiei turned his head to watch the wall and appeared to be ready to speak something himself, and it was Kurama's turn to smile at the silence's end, but Hiei, too, closed his mouth before speaking.

The each looked off at a different wall, sometimes the floor, sometimes the ceiling, but never at each other. Kurama blushed, and Hiei rubbed a hand through his hair.

Alright, this has gone far enough.

Hiei spontaneously leaned in and kissed Kurama.

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…Am I evil? I have much experience with telling people they are evil and none with hearing I am evil, so I can't tell, mainly because I know what's going to happen next.

Oh, who am I kidding, I have no idea what's going to happen next. From this point on, and actually from some points back, this is completely winging it. But this winging is fun, so…yeah. I'll get the next chapter out soon.