Innocent in the Dark

Chapter 13

Shuuichi's POV

It's been a few days since then. I didn't remember what happened or how I ended up near Genkai's temple. I didn't really mind though. The more I forget the better it seems. It's much better to be unaware of what's going on around you that to know what's really happening.

I sighed. It was another mind-numbing uneventful day. Kurama's out with everyone to another meeting and won't be back for another few hours or not at all. I'm always alone. I don't mind because I, for a time, appreciate the silence that I, myself, have created. I somehow believe that Kurama is just avoiding me.

I don't know how I came up with that conclusion but I always hear faint voices inside my head. They were always in slow breathy whispers. I couldn't decipher what they were saying. But the words that I was able to catch were: Traitor… liar… insufferable… useless…

They felt like they were directed towards me. Every time I caught wind of them I always felt hurt and that I really believe what they were saying. The hurtful words made me think that that was the reason why Kurama has been eschewing me. That he thinks that I'm a liar, useless, and insufferable. I don't know about the traitor part. I don't see what I've been doing that would make him hate me and think of me like that except to be a burden to him.

He's always taking care of me and is probably…

Why am I thinking about that again? He has always cared and that my mind is just thinking otherwise because it just… was. I always thought that Kurama would leave me alone. Maybe that's why he's been avoiding me.

Argh! I'm thinking like that again. I know that it's not true; it's not true…I kept mumbling that in my head. I know that it isn't true. He isn't really avoiding me and is just working on a case so he could get it finish and come back. But I always doubt it. I don't know why I do; I always think the opposite of what I hope.

I always return to those thoughts of doubt.

You know that it's true that's why you think of it.

There the whispers go again. Every time they say something it becomes more clear and clearer because I always think of something that's hurting me making my heart clench and my whole body ache with pain.

He's only there because you need it. When it's all over you'll be left…alone…for the rest… of eternity.

NO! That's not true! I don't believe it. He wouldn't leave me alone after everything. He wouldn't…

He's only lying to keep you secure. It's not remember, all those times you lied to your own mom because of those useless missions? Do you think he'd be lying about having a mission?

I ignored the voice. I know that it's not true he wouldn't lie to me, especially to me, especially to me. Would he?

You're just a waste to him, disposable, and a liability.

NO I'm not! Get out! I don't want to hear any more! Stop it!

I grasp my head hoping that if I clasp it hard enough the voices would leave.

They disappeared as if it was only the wind. I put my hands down and lied back down on the bed. That's all I do everyday, is what it seems like.

I wake up, alone, eat, and then sleep. I have nothing else to do. There's nothing I can do alone. The voices always seem right. They sound like they aren't lying because now that I look at it they're telling me the truth and I just refuse to believe it. I never like to see the truth; I only want to see what I wish to see.

I'm just a liability to him and he'll dispose of me sooner or later.

I felt tears slipping down from my eyes. I didn't bother to wipe them off because they were all the hurt I felt just thinking. And I still refuse to believe that I'm just a thing that someone just uses for a while.

I soon drifted to sleep with a thought in mind.

I don't live a dream but a reality.

* * *

Kurama's POV

I came back and slammed the door in rage. I went to another meeting with nothing to receive. Next one I'm going to say no to and just spend time with Shuuichi. He most likely assumes that I'm avoiding him.

I went into the room. I found him asleep. That's how I find him. That's all I see him do nowadays. He just sleeps. I don't see how he can do that. I lay down beside him all the time. It's the only thing that I can do and just watch him sleep.

I brushed red strands of hair from his angelic face. I will really have to thank his mother for this. I hate owing debts to others. I trailed a finger down his temple to his cheek. I like the softness of it. It feels just like silk.

I immediately pulled my hand away when I felt him move.

"Kurama…" he murmured.

I let out the breath that I didn't realize that I was holding and chuckled a little. I wonder what he's dreaming about.

* * *

Shuuichi's POV

I woke up with the bright rays of the sun striking my face and the warmth that I'm encased in. Did I sleep that long? I remember falling asleep in the afternoon yesterday.

I tried to get up because I was so famished and to find I couldn't. I gape in surprise. Kurama is here. I usually get up to find him gone to another one of those case hunts of his. I lied back down. Might as well enjoy it while it lasts. I know that it wouldn't last long because one of them will call him back. They constantly do. I stay in the warmth that he's offering. I was contented.

It's all imaginary.

I placed my head at the crook of his neck. Ignoring the voice that has taunted me since a few days ago.

Leave…you're nothing to him. There's still the cyanide. Like it's said, it'll kill you instantly.

I ignored it again. It's all a pack of lies. I know it. Kurama wouldn't be like that, could he?

He'll spell it out for you later.

Spell what out? I received no response for my answer. I mentally sighed in relief as it left me alone for the first time.

* * *

At the warehouse…

"Father, should we take him now? It's been a few days." Alex asked.

"No in a little bit. We need the fox demon to leave first."

"Oh, what about oneesan? Wouldn't she interfere?"

"I'll make sure that she doesn't. Where's Karl?"

"Keeping an eye out for Shuuichi."

"Switch with him and tell him to come here I have something for him to do."

"Alright." Alex happily bounced out of the room and went off to get Karl.

* * *

Shuuichi's POV

I woke up to find Kurama already out. I sighed. I don't usually wake up with him there beside me. I glance at the clock and saw that it was already lunchtime. I guess I over did it again.

I got up and decided to take a bath. It'll probably calm me down from that nightmare that I just had.

After that I went to walk outside. It looked beautiful from my view so I figured might as well get fresh air. I breathe in the air. It was really different than those other days.

I continued walking. I felt like I was being followed. Maybe I'm just being paranoid since I have gaps in my memories.

I ended up in the park again. I wonder what's so significant that I always stay here? I looked around and saw that it was a bit different with more flowers and bigger trees. It looked beautiful as if it came out of a painting.

I sat down at a bench. I was surprised to find this bench the cleanest. The others don't really look that inviting.

It is so quiet, which is really creepy. Not that many people come here during this time but it still is creepy. Why am I scared anyways? It's not like someone's going to jump me, or anything. I sighed.

"Hey there Shuuichi. How's it hangin'?" I look up to see Alex in front of me. How'd she appear there so suddenly?

"Hi, everything's fine." I said.

"Really? C'mon let's go hang out somewhere. It looks pretty boring here."

"Uh…sure."

* * *

Alex and I went everywhere. She even took me places I haven't been in either. I just noticed that the tormenting voices weren't there. Of course they usually ruin my happy thoughts. That is what they've been doing, somehow they do a good job of it, but with Alex none of it was present. Even if I thought of something negative they didn't say anything.

I looked towards the sky. It was getting dark. I have to get back before Kurama.

"Hey I'll see you around Alex. I have to get before Kurama does. Ja," I said waving at her before leaving.

I walked until I reached a particular street I didn't know. I think I'm lost. I don't remember passing this way before. I don't remember this part even being here period. "This is so not good."

I walked around and I probably made my situation worst. Okay now I'm in an abandoned alley. This really isn't making my day any better. I continued walking around and of course made my situation much worse.

I felt a cold chill down my spine. I figured that it was my imagination because it is cold season. But of course I didn't believe it because I felt it everywhere like it's been there for a time. I turned around to walk back to where I came from but it was blocked. Is this some practical joke? It isn't funny. I tried to budge it open but it didn't work. So I had no choice but to go forward.

I walked around again and I'm lost again. This just isn't my day, is it?

I sighed, it's been fifteen minutes and I'm still here. I saw a crate and sat leaning my back against the building behind me. I was relieved to finally rest after walking around in a maze is what it seems like. Maybe this is a dream and that I'm walking around lost because I don't know the way to the waking world anymore?

It's not a dream.

Okay! That just ruined it!

I suddenly felt something behind me. I know that it's weird because the building is behind me but anything can happen there has yet to be a demon that can mold into walls. I'm being paranoid. Before I turned around a cloth covered my mouth. Shit, this is chloroform! I instantly held my breath. I tried to pry the hand preventing me from breathing. I still have a bit left then something held me still. Another arm. I maneuvered the best I can out of this situation but I couldn't and I gave in as I took a breath loosing consciousness.

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