Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction ❯ Kesu ❯ Chapter Thirteen ( Chapter 13 )

Chapter 13

Kurama

Carrying Hiei's body back to the temple is almost unbearable. But I won't let anyone else do it. No one but me can touch him...except maybe Yukina...

My lover is dead...Now I know how Hiei felt when he thought that I was dead. Oh, Hiei...I didn't know you'd felt this bad! But you aren't going to come back like I did...you're really dead...and you're gone for good!

Yukina has healed Hiei's body, and if it weren't for the blood, and if I didn't know better, I'd think he were just sleeping. But he'll never wake up. Never...

Tears run down my cheeks. I can't stop crying. I don't want to stop crying. I want to cry forever. Yukina is crying too. Tear gems litter the ground, and they fall by the dozens. Kuwabara is carrying her, for she is sobbing too hard to walk.

My lover's face is locked in a last grimace of pain. Yuusuke closed his eyes, and I am grateful for that. Seeing Hiei's beautiful red eyes without the fire behind them, looking glassy and glazed over and...dead, just killed a part of me...A big part of me...

I want to wash the blood away, so I can pretend that he's just sleeping. At least for a little while. Until I touch his cold skin. There is no warmth left in his usually-warm body, and no color in his cheeks. He looks dead...

We reach the temple. Keiko and Genkai run out to us. I wander away from the group with Hiei's body. I don't want to be around anyone right now. They sense that and don't follow me.

I carry Hiei's body to the lake where we always used to go to talk during long missions. Anguish fills me. We won't talk here anymore. Or anywhere else, for that matter...

I carry Hiei's body into the lake, where I wash the blood away. My misery deepens. He almost looks alive. But I know that he's not...

Holding Hiei's body close, I sit on a small rise. This is where Hiei and I used to watch sunrises and sunsets. We'll never get to do that together again. I watch the sun set once again. It's not as pretty without Hiei here to watch it with me...

I want to bury him here, on this hill overlooking our lake...with our happy memories. But I can't do it right now...Not without Yukina here. If I buried her brother without her, she'll never speak to me again. Hiei wouldn't want that...

Slowly, I walk back to the temple with Hiei's body in my arms. I lay my fire demon on a futon, and sit in a corner near it, mourning.

Yuusuke comes in with a plate of food. I decline it. I'm not hungry right now. The ningen sits in front of me. "Are you going to starve yourself like Hiei did when you 'died?'"

I look up, startled. I forgot that they had watched Hiei starve himself... "I'll eat," I say softly. "Just not right now..." The ningen nods and leaves, leaving the food with me. I'm not hungry.

Gazing at Hiei's body, I start to cry again. From this distance it looks like he's just sleeping. But I know he's not. And he never will again...

I make a promise to myself then. I won't starve myself or deprive myself of sleep like Hiei did. I won't put everyone through that. I'll wait for Hiei to be reincarnated and I'll find him. I force myself to eat the plate of food, and lay down on the floor. It takes quite a while, but I finally fall asleep...

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I'm so mean to poor Kurama-san!! Awwww...He's so sad...Gotta cheer him up...