Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction ❯ Killing and Loving ❯ In need of love (Kurama's Point of View) ( Chapter 4 )

A/N: I don't own YuYu Hakusho or any of its characters. If I did, I wouldn't be writing fan fiction, now would I?

I don't get any profit from this. The only thing I get is hope for reviews so my muses are fed. Please review and feed the starving muses!!!

 

Chapter 4 Kurama's Point of View

 

I see everyone look at me for answers, but I have none. I don't know what to say to them. Kuwabara looks like he will vomit because I mentioned a male I had sexual relations with. Yusuke seems the least effected by the news, which makes me glad at least someone isn't looking at me as if I had grown an extra head. However, it is more upsetting that Hiei refuses to look at me.

Amaya says, “We need to wait until Antaya arrives with more information before we proceed with planning. In the mean time, I would like a good spar. Would anyone like to join me?”

Yusuke's eyes light up and he says, “That sounds like fun. Yeah, I'll join yah.” They both walk outside. Kuwabara follows them kind of in a daze. Keiko and Genkai follow as well. Yukina is standing next to Hiei whispering softly.

I ask Yukina, “May I talk to Hiei for a moment please, Yukina?” She nods, gathers the empty teakettle and heads towards the kitchen.

I ask Hiei, “When I told you about Korunue, you seemed angry. Why?”

Hiei grumbles, “None of your business fox.”

I growl, “How is it not my business? My friend is angry over something involving my former lover. Aren't I right in the middle of this then?”

Hiei sighs and says, “Fox, don't make me answer. If I answer, I'll ruin a lot of things right now.” in a tone that seems very sad and lost.

I ask Hiei, “What would answering a single question ruin?” Hiei is quiet. He does not open his mouth and fixes his gaze upon the floor. I gently cup his chin and lift his head so I can look into his eyes. He tries to pull away. I firmly grip his chin. I gaze into those crimson pools. I see a conflicted soul: a soul that does not know what it needs besides needing something that it does not have. I see pain; the pain of not knowing how to deal with his confusion. However, the final thing I see in his eyes is the most striking; I see loneliness: the desire to have someone to hold dear to yourself and confide in, but finding no one who will fulfill that desire. I feel a blossom of hopes I killed long ago come back to me. I quench my hopes in case I am wrong, but I sincerely hope I am not. I think I understand why he was upset about hearing about Korunue.

I tell Hiei, “I care for you Hiei. I would like to be more than just a friend to you but I didn't know how you would react to my advances. I am lonely too Hiei. Whenever you go to Makai, I'm reminded of the human shackles that I placed upon myself, and the loss of my home. I really do care for you but I do not know what you feel towards me. Am I just a friend, or am I more to you than that?” Hiei breaks my hold upon his chin. He sighs heavily.

Hiei says, “You mean more than you should to me fox. I sometimes want to see you but have no reason to. I want to care for you but I have enemies of my own that once they found out you were dear to me, they'd kill you, your human mother, and anyone else in that house at the time.”

I ask him, “Do you not trust me to take care of myself and my family? You know how territorial yoko are, especially of close family and loved ones.”

Hiei says, “I have too many enemies to risk it, fox.” His voice suddenly becomes softer and his eyes a bit more open, where I can see the pain of his very soul at having to say this. He continues, “I don't want you hurt fox.” I see how much he cares and I desire to take him into my arms and kiss and touch him. However, he's clearly stated that he doesn't want to act on our need for one another.

I ask Hiei sadly, “Let me have one night with you? Just us, so I can at least have that night when I'm left alone for weeks on end without so much as a word from you.” Hiei bows his head. He doesn't speak or move. I step closer to him. I smell his scent full force and I feel a little dizzy. Inari, he smells good. I inhale deeply. Gods, I feel myself become aroused. I see him look up. Our eyes meet. They express the silent confessions of love to one another. I suddenly am drawn closer to him. I bend down some and touch his lips with mine. I feel an intense wave swallow me entirely. I groan and lick his lips. He gasps. My tongue slips into his mouth. His tongue shyly greets mine. We both groan at the sensation. Oh Gods, kissing him is better than I could have ever imagined. His tongue rubs against mine as it explores his mouth. This sends shivers of love and desire throughout my entire body. I feel his hand brush against my clothed hips. I whimper slightly and break off the kiss gasping violently for air. His hand touches my clothed erection. I moan quietly as pleasure runs like an electric current throughout my body. His hand cups me and rubs back and forth. My eyes roll back into my head as I gasp at the delicious sensations he is giving me. I look at him. He smirks.

He says, with amusement evident in his voice, “They're coming back in soon fox, so you might want to take care of this before they come in.” and stops touching me. I grumble and go into the next room. Inari, who knew Hiei was such a fucking tease?! I have not felt such strong desires since my last heat! Damn, maybe it's coming soon because I haven't been in this form for such an extended period of time. I leave the room. I go into the guest-room and create images of us advancing farther in my head as I take care of my littler self.

 

 

 

 

Once I enter the room, I notice Genkai in the corner of the scene observing Amaya carefully. I lean against the doorframe near Genkai.

Genkai says, “Amaya isn't what she seems to be, is she?” I nod. At least one person can tell that Amaya isn't being herself, just putting on facade for them. Most people can never tell because she is too good at it. Amaya suddenly looks at me. She sniffs the air suspiciously.

She establishes a mental link to me and asks, “When was your last heat? Your pheromones right now are a lot stronger than they should be, even if you and Hiei had a brief `encounter'.” Her tone is cold and clinical, like the Amaya I know.

I mentally reply, “I should not be in heat yet. I should have at least one year because I have not been able to change into this form without any additional aids until almost 2 years ago. In my calculations, a year from now would be early.”

She mentally replies, “It doesn't necessarily follow your usual schedule if you are near someone you desire as a mate for a long period of time. That's how Nara found out I liked her, because I went into heat only 2 years after my last heat. It may not help that tomorrow night's a full moon here and a bi-lunar eclipse in Makai.” Damn, that makes it will be very dark for a while and then suddenly brighten! If the sky brightens right as we are about to attack, we're going to be in a very inconvenient situation. However, during this darkened period, yoko are known to become desperate and lustful because the moons that give us strength are darkened and we feel a sudden need for distraction and companionship so we don't feel alone without the light of the moon to shine upon us. This is also the reason why full moons are dangerous too. Yoko gain much energy from the moon and thus are sent on a sort of energy high and get into much mischief during this time. The full moon also heightens sexual desires. I groan quietly hoping I'll be able to keep calm. I do have some sexual suppressants if I need them but I only have two seeds and it's a pain to obtain seeds since the produced plant does not contain the seeds because pollination takes a very long time and lots of specific conditions. I am snapped out of my unpleasant musings by a new ki signature. I growl under my breath.

Amaya says aloud, “Well, as barefaced as ever, Antaya's here.”

Yusuke asks, “You don't like this Antaya, do you Kurama?” in a wry tone.

I tell him, “It's in the past unless he is as loose-tongued as he was before I came to the Ninigenkai.”

A voice says, “With a little alcohol I'm loose-tongued but I'm better than before! Moreover, how dare you blame our not getting along on me? If anything, it seems you were the one who could not get along with me if I remember correctly!” in a snide voice. I growl under my breath tempted to give in to his verbal sparring but cut short by Botan.

She asks, “What information do you have?”

Antaya looks at Amaya, who leans against the wall as if noting that she is prepared to hear his bad news.

Antaya says, “Well, we're fortunate enough to have only 7 S-class, only three are bound to him by ideologies or otherwise. The rest of them are paid mercenaries. Many of his guards are weary and not in the best shape. That's the good news. The bad news I think should be delivered privately so the persons directly involved have a few moments alone to process the information.” Antaya leaves the temple. Amaya and I look at one another. We follow him into the woods.

After traveling a short distance from the temple, Antaya says, “Amaya, Nara will live if we make it there in three days. She is pregnant with Akuhei's child, who will die probably tonight or tomorrow morning. Nara realizes that she has to let the baby die or else both will die before we get there.” He pauses and lets Amaya sit down to process the information. I feel sick and even angrier with Akuhei for doing this to us!

Antaya continues, “Kurama, well, I had hoped I wouldn't have to tell you this but Korunue is alive and is in his own mangled body. It never healed properly since the last heist you two tried to pull of and there is a deadly poison in his veins as well. He believes he has a week left but his will to live is virtually non-existent. He has been tortured but remains mentally intact, besides repeating that he's weak and wants to die because he is soo weak he disgusts himself. I sent a letter to Akuhei this morning explaining that he should have stayed dead and that he will die. It has made him tense and edgy, but also distracted and he hasn't slept since Gods know when. He is dying at a very fast rate because apparently Itachi's alchemy only lasts a short period. I estimate he'll die in a few months. He's still rather powerful and could easily kill any one of us if he corners us alone. However, he would not last long in a fight against two or more of us. We must plan tonight, since it is already almost nightfall and then head out tomorrow afternoon. Akuhei is staked out near the mountains west of Tourin where he killed your mother, to throw you off balance.” I try to process everything. I nod slightly and we head back.

 

I am still digesting the news as Antaya relays the information to everyone present. Hiei looks away from me. The news of Korunue being alive does not settle well with him. Antaya finally finishes talking.

Genkai says, “We'll meet back here in one hour to plan.” We all nod. I just sit there pondering the situation. Korunue and I were great friends and lovers. He and I would do anything for one another. I loved him dearly. However, he loved me more and we both knew this. He would have died if I did. I knew that though it would be rough without him, I could live without him. I never thought I would have to live without him though. I didn't realize how much I truly loved him until I saw that poisoned bamboo shoot impale him. I died trying to avenge him. I barely was able to detach from my body but that day something in me died. Even now, the thought of seeing him alive delights me. However, the circumstances and knowing that he might die in my arms again anyway make this difficult and sickening. Now, throw my love for Hiei into the mix and you have one hell of a situation. I truly love Hiei, more than Korunue, but Hiei has refused to open our relationship to new possibilities besides friendship. At least Korunue would love me while he could. I sigh hard resting my head on my knees as I slump against the wall. Hiei comes over to me.

He says, “You loved Korunue, didn't you? You love him now too, right?” bitterly.

I sigh sadly and try to explain, “I loved him and still love him, but not enough to give you up. If you loved me too, then I would choose you over him. However, he was still my partner, my best friend, my confidant, my all when I was in Makai. That is how I almost died. After I thought he had died, I tried to exact revenge on his murderers. I underestimated my opponent and ended up being skinned in front of Amaya and her mate Nara. I love you Hiei but if we cannot be together, I will cling to Korunue because then I know at least he will love me if you can't. He may end up dying in my arms, but at least I'll be able to love him and be loved by him for a little while.” I don't look up because I know that his eyes will either be angry or indifferent, because he wouldn't dare open up to me now that I've admitted I'm still in love with Korunue. I feel a hand gently stroke my hair. I look up at Hiei. His eyes express sadness yet sympathy for me.

Hiei says, “You can hold onto Korunue, fox. I know you still care for him, even though you say you love me. I'll be here for you but I don't know how to love you or even if I love you. But I do care and will be here for you if you need me.” He then strokes my ears. I relax but am too tired to process everything. I curl up closer to him trying to find comfortable warmth to rest in for a little while. I turn into my fox form so I can rest in his lap. He seems a bit startled I transformed but does not flinch when I curl up in his lap. I need to be closer to him and need his touch. He caresses my head softly. I nuzzle into his cloak and try to rest as he gently pets me.

 

 

 

 

A/N: I know, I'm such a tease. Sorry no ripe lemons yet. In chapter 5 though, there is a yummy one there, even if it isn't fully written yet, it will be a ripe lemon by the time 20 people or so finally visit this story. Why aren't people visiting this story or leaving reviews? I'm getting depressed!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

If I remember right, Makai has multiple moons and I'm just going to say that those moons align in the umbra of the planet to create a bi-lunar eclipse because it is two moons not one.