Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction ❯ Love Him Again ❯ Chapter 1

Here is my first Botan Kurama fic set to Janet Jackson's song “Again” The song is kind of sad and made me think of this story. Hope you like it.

Disclaimers: Yu Yu Hakusho and Janet Jackson's song Again belong to their respective owners. I just own the story line.

Lyrics in bold

 

 

 

“Hey Botan! How are ya? We haven't seen you around lately.” Kuwabara's loud voice caused the startled deity to turn around. “Oh hi Kuwabara, I am fine how are you?” She tried to hide the pain she felt at seeing him. No matter how long he had been gone she still hurt and it was to the point that now even seeing Kuwabara was a painful reminder that he wasn't coming back. “Eh, I can't complain. We've missed you around the temple. Keiko and Yukina are always asking about you.” He said glancing at her as they walked. “Oh and guess what Kurama has come back.” At his words Botan felt the blood drain from her face. She turned her head sharply to Kuwabara. “Has he?” They were said normally, but if he had listened closer he would have heard the slight tremor in Botan's voice.

 

I heard from a friend today

And she said you were in town

Suddenly the memories came back to me in my

Mind

 

“Yeah He says Urameshi is going to come home soon and Keiko was really happy to hear that. Shorty's is stuck on boarder control and hates it so he says.” As Kuwabara rambled on Botan's mind traveled back to the last time she saw Kurama. It was right before he left for Makai and they were at the temple to all say their good-byes. His eyes were so concealed she had no idea what he had been thinking. `I have to stay strong. I can't let him see me cry. I WON”T let him see me cry.' She thought as she felt tears well up in her eye as he said good-bye to Genkai. `I won't love him. I can learn not to and he's leaving, that'll make it easier to forget him, to push him out of my heart.' Then he turned his green eyes to her.

 

How can I be strong I've asked myself

Time and time I've said

That I'll never fall in love with you again

 

 

“Take care of yourself Botan.” Was all he said as he gave her a friendly hug and stepped away to walk into the portal. Her tears fell as he vanished from view. The other girls tried to comfort her, but they didn't know the whole story. They didn't know that she had fallen in love with him. They didn't know that as he turned from her he took her heart with him and she couldn't, no matter how hard she tried get it back. After that she slowly started distancing herself from the group with the excuse that Koenma had been keeping her very busy. It was a lie and the others knew it. They knew something had happened between her and Kurama, but none knew the whole story. She hadn't told when questioned and Kurama had always been discreet about what information he gave out. As she looked back at that day she realized that he had been trying to get her to forget him, to let him go, so she wouldn't spend her time pining away for him. He had no made any promises to her and she knew that when they got involved.

 

A wounded heart you gave

My soul you took away

Good intentions you had many

I know you did

 

“Heh, he didn't know that I'd still love him no matter how he tried to make me see other wise and move on' she thought as she heard Kuwabara call her name. “We'll all be at the temple later. Why don't you drop by and say Hi to Kurama before he leaves for Makai again?” he said as he turned to her. Botan had to shake her head to clear her memories before giving her answer and excusing herself saying Koenma needed her. As she mounted her oar and soared into the sky she sighed and tried to fight back the tears that she felt building in her eyes. She didn't know if she could face him again. She had cried so much over the months that he had been gone that Koenma had noticed and questioned her more then once on it. She couldn't go to the temple and see him and act as if nothing happened. She'd not subject her self to that kind of torture and aside from that she was determined not to fall in love with him again. He'd broken her heart once and she'd be damned if she'd let him do it to her again. As she landed beside a pond in a secluded part of the forest she finally gave into her tears as her mind wandered.

 

I come from a place that hurts

And God knows how I've cried

And I never want to return

Never fall again

 

It had all been so magical at the time. She remembered that she had gone to see him because she was bored and the others were all busy. There had been an unspoken attraction between them for months and they had yet to say anything or act on their attraction. As they sat as watched a movie things finally made themselves noticed. It had been wonderful to Botan and she had cried at how wonderful it felt. Somehow everything they did felt right and she couldn't find a way to argue this thought out of her mind even though she knew that it would lead to heartbreak. Being with him on their other times was wonderful too. Through it all he never spoke of love or made her any promises to ever love her or make her, his. Slowly she mounted on her oar and flew into the diminishing sunlight.

 

Making love to you

Oh it felt so good and

Oh so right

 

Slowly she descended into the courtyard of the temple. `What am I doing here? I've got to be crazy. I'll just say hi and then leave.” She kept repeating this to herself as she walked slowly into the main room of the temple and as she suspected found everyone. They all turned to her and as she felt his eyes on her she knew she had made a mistake. As the girls bombarded her with hugs and questions about her absence from them she was finally able to tear her eyes off of his. As she spoke to Keiko and Yukina she could feel his eyes on her and heard him get up and walk towards her. She held her breath and closed her eyes as she heard him say her name. Slowly she opened them and turned to face the source of her unhappiness. “How have you been?” he asked as he reached her and the other girls. She opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came out. As she watched his eyes as he gazed at her she knew it was lost. She was falling for him again. She suddenly emitted a sob like sound and turned to run from the room. As she made to bolt out the door Kurama grabbed her into a hug to keep her from leaving. The others watched the interaction bewildered. Why was Botan crying and how come Kurama made her cry? Kuwabara and Yusuke exchanged angry looks and were about to say something to the kitsune when he picked Botan up into his arms like a little girl and cradled her to his chest before he walked from the room, his eyes full of regret and guilt.

Once he was outside he stopped under a willow tree and sat her on a bench next to him. When Botan had finally stopped crying he turned her tear stained face to his. “Botan.” Was all he murmured as he bent his head and kissed her. As the kiss dragged on Botan tore away with a choked sob. “No!” she turned from him and tried to get up to leave, but his hand on her wrist stopped her. She turned to him with her head bent. She knew it for sure now. There was no way for her to try to say other wise. She loved him and she always would.

 

So here we are alone again'

Didn't think it'd come to this

And to know it all began

With just a little kiss

 

“Botan, look at me” Kurama's voice broke thought the silence. Slowly she raised her head and looked at him. “I know what I did was wrong. I know I shouldn't have used you like that. I didn't mean for it to feel like I had. I…” he trailed off as he saw a spark of anger in her eyes. “Do you even know what these last months have been to me? They were horrible,” she said in a cold voice. “I was happy with us even if you didn't love me like I did you and you took it away and then acted as if nothing was wrong. How could you act as if all we shared was nothing to you? How could you say you cared for me maybe not love me, but cared for me even as a friend and then turn from me and leave after all we had been through?!” her voice rose with her anger and she didn't care if the others heard. She was so tired of pretending.

 

I've come too close to happiness

To have it swept away

Don't think I can take the pain

No never fall again

 

Kurama just stood there and let her yell at him. He knew he deserved it and more. She raised her hand to slap him when he spoke again. “I know what it must have been for you. I won't lie and say the last months have been great for me either. I was able to do a lot of thinking on things. My life here, my mother, and most of all about you.” His voice was calm, betraying the emotions flying though his eyes. “I realized that what I thought I could get over, didn't want to go away. As much as I have wanted to forget you I haven't been able to. I love you Botan and I am sorry it has taken me so long and put you through so much pain for me to realize it.” Botan's eyes flashed dangerously. “Don't you dare do that! Do not stand there and tell me you love me. Don't you play with my heart again only to leave it behind again to be crushed. Don't love me and then leave me again.” She yelled at him as tears ran unchecked down her face. “I've sworn to myself that I wouldn't do this again. That I wouldn't love you, but you know what I saw you and knew that I had never gotten over you and that I was falling I love with you again.” She said as she watched him reach out and hug her. She slowly hugged him back as he spoke. “I'm not going to leave you anymore. I love you Botan and I want the worlds to know you are mine.”

 

Kinda late in the game and my heart is in

Your hands

Don't you stand there and then

Tell me you love

Me then leave again

Cause I'm falling in love with

You again

 

Botan slowly felt her anger melt away and her sadness evaporate at his words. She felt a smile grow on her face as he pulled back a ways to kiss her. “Hold me Kurama, hold me and never let me go.” She pleaded as he pulled her once more into the secure embrace of his arms. “I love you Kurama.” She murmured against his chest where her check lay. “Say it again Kurama. Say you love me” His masculine voice answered her “I love you Botan. I'll never leave you again. Where I go you'll go and where you go I'll go. You'll never be alone again.” He whispered into her ear/ Once more he pulled back and kissed her with all of the love he felt and she responded with just as much passion. Slowly when the need for breath hit them they drew back and headed back inside to explain everything to the others waiting inside no doubt confused. It was going to be a long night of talking, but one that was full of happiness instead of sadness and depression.

 

Hold me

Hold me

Don't ever let me go

Say it just one time

Say you love me

God knows I do

Love you

Again

 

 

There we go my very first Kurama and Botan fic. Sorry if the characters seem ooc, but the song gave me the inspiration and Kurama and Botan seemed like a good pair for the song. Hope you liked it Please review! Thanks! :o)