Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction ❯ Love Me, Hate Me, Just Don’t Let Me Fall ❯ Koenma Tells All Yet Again ( Chapter 22 )

Wow... I have over 400 reviews.... Amazing! ^_^ Thank you, kind reviewers! And I apologize for the lack of updates and the shortness of chapters... I'm working on it! Really, I am! To celebrate this joyous occasion, here is a 4000 word long chapter (well, about 4000 words anyway...).

To anyone disturbed by Shishi/Yukina: I don't particularly like this pairing either... I just thought it would be interesting to think about. Well, no worries, because Touya is going to end up with Yukina.... somehow....

To mistressKC and anyone else wanting to use lines from this story: I don't mind if you use a quote from this story, but could you give me a little credit for it? Like in an author's note or something? And give me the link to the story you use it in, so I can read and review it!

Last Chapter...

Sighing, Koenma considered his options. Date Shizuru and possibly lift the horrible curse, or spare himself the humiliation of telling Botan everything. Well... the girl was pretty cute, and it's not like there was a line of bachelorettes outside of his bedroom door. So, he'd just have to grin and bear it... or perhaps grimace is a better word?

"Alright! I'll tell them!" the godling said, reluctantly.

"Good!" Kurama smiled. This was working out beautifully. "Then let's go to the human world!"

Love Me, Hate Me, Just Don't Let Me Fall

Chapter 22: Koenma Tells All Yet Again

Kurama knocked on the hotel door and waited patiently for someone to open it. Shizuru and Koenma stood behind him, rather awkwardly. Now that the godling knew his date, he felt nervous, and that was making Shizuru feel nervous too. Who knew nervousness was contagious?

Touya opened the door and greeted them. Hiei and Botan had already finished their explanation to Rinku and the others, and they had just been waiting for Kurama and Shizuru to show up. The three arrivals walked in, and everyone welcomed them cheerfully, already impatient after waiting around for so long. A few eyebrows rose upon seeing Koenma, but no one commented on it.

Immediately, Yukina spoke up, "Kurama, you have to go cure Keiko, Yusuke, and Kuwabara! The plant in your room released a sleeping gas, and they haven't woken up yet."

With everything that had been going on, the fox had completely forgotten about that! Quickly, he reassured Yukina that it would be taken care of. Then, Kurama said to Hiei and Botan, "Koenma has something to tell you." Glancing at the crowded room full of people, he continued, "It would probably be better if we went to the bedroom, though."

Curious, Botan agreed while Hiei only glared at the godling. Kurama led them to the other room, and Shizuru dragged a reluctant Koenma behind them. Then Shizuru closed the door so the others wouldn't come in and cause even more tension, although they would probably be eavesdropping on them the entire time. Everyone found a place to sit, and the discussion began.

"Koenma, your explanation?" Shizuru prompted.

"Uhhh..." Koenma stared at the chibis, wide-eyed. He couldn't do this! Botan would hate him... Hiei would hurt him... Shizuru was right there too.... oh, DARN KURAMA! He had placed the poor godling in this horrible situation!

"Did you find the cure?" asked Botan, wondering why Koenma had been brought back.

"Sort of..." Kurama said. "But it's best that Koenma tell you everything. He hasn't exactly been truthful these past few days."

Hiei's eyes narrowed. "He lied to us?!"

"Umm.... well, you see..." the godling glanced at Shizuru pleadingly. He couldn't do this alone! The girl simply glared back at him, as if to tell him to hurry up, and Koenma's hopes of salvation sank.

"Koenma... You agreed to tell them!"

"What in the three worlds is so bad that you can't tell us?" Botan stared at Koenma. "Are you hiding something from us? WHAT IS IT?! Do you know the CURE for those horrible Joyful Pills?"

The godling cleared his throat nervously. "Yes... the cure, you see, was really the test... Happy Island has nothing to do with this! Nothing at all! It's not even remotely dangerous, unless you can't swim because then you might drown in the sea... But otherwise, it's perfectly safe and normal and I just wanted to make you happy, Botan, really I did!"

"What is the cure?!" Hiei snapped impatiently. He had been waiting for this for such a long time, and this moron was rambling about Happy Island!

"A kiss from your true love..."

Hiei and Botan stared at each other, horrified for very different reasons. Although Botan was more than willing to kiss her beloved, that would mean breaking her promise, which also meant that Hiei wouldn't let Yukina date Touya!

And of course, Hiei didn't enjoy the fact that the only cure was a display of affection, but the second part of what Koenma said made it even worse. If he kissed Botan and they were cured, then that would prove they were truly in love! Hiei couldn't do that! He hadn't even completely accepted the fact that he might not dislike her or might even enjoy that baka onna's company!

"NO!" each chibi exclaimed simultaneously.

The other three stared at them. No? NO?! They had gone through all of this trouble just to hear a NO?!?!

"Why not?!" asked Kurama.

"I can't kiss him! I PROMISED NOT TO!" explained Botan.

"She's kissed me before and I don't like it! I SHALL NEVER TOUCH HER AGAIN!" declared Hiei.

"But... I thought you two were in love!" Koenma exclaimed, a bit suspiciously. Everyone stared at each other, at the godling, then back at each other. Uh-oh, he hadn't been told...

"Well, you see..."

"They aren't really..."

"Hiei isn't..."

"Botan loves me but I don't love her!" Hiei summed up.

Realizing what this meant, Koenma's eyes widened. "Then... you'll never be cured!"

"That's exactly our problem!"

"Oh, Hiei, it's not that bad. Just kiss her and see what happens!" Kurama suggested. "You might not be cured, but at least she will be!"

"NO!" he protested.

"Ummmm... can I tell the WHOLE story first?" wondered Koenma, deciding to forget that Hiei and Botan had totally lied to him about being in love. He would have to tell them everything eventually, and it was better to say it now before someone tried to force their lips together... No matter how angry or disappointed or whatever they were now, it would probably be multiplied several times over by the time this whole chibi escapade was finished with.

"Whole... story?!" Hiei and Botan stared at Koenma. What more was there to tell? Was there another requirement for the cure?

Before either chibi could get angry, the godling told them the story that Kurama and Shizuru had already heard. When he had finished, Botan gave him a look of pity.

"Oh my... Lord Enma really did that to you?! I'M SORRY, KOENMA, THAT I CAN'T HELP YOU!" the girl wailed, completely distressed.

Hiei simply rolled his eyes. "Shut up! It's his own fault!"

"No it's not! HE CAN'T FIND LOVE BECAUSE HE'S A CHIBI, BUT HE'S CHIBI BECAUSE HE CAN'T FIND LOVE! It's a lose-lose situation! A downward spiral of hopelessness and despair!"

"Thank you, Botan, for that lovely thought..." Koenma said dryly. He didn't need to hear that! He'd already had years and decades to think of how hopeless his love life was!

"But, oh, don't you worry Koenma! You and Shizuru will get along just fine!" Botan winked at the godling. Upon hearing her, Shizuru raised an eyebrow, doubtful that she could ever get along with the toddler. He just wasn't her type!

"Where exactly are we having this group date anyway?" asked Koenma, changing the subject before Botan started an in-depth discussion of his love life.

Kurama spoke up, "I was thinking about that, and I may have a nice idea..."

"Oh?"

"Why don't we just go to Happy Island? We could all go and stay for a week, since Hiei and Botan were going to anyway, and during that time we could all go out together once for the group date."

Hiei glared at the fox. "No! I'm not spending a WEEK with these... bakas!"

"You wouldn't have to spend the whole time with them! And you're going to have to go to Happy Island to complete your deal with Koenma! Would you prefer to go with others or just with Botan?"

"Hn..." Hiei looked away. Of course he wouldn't want to spend time alone with Botan. There was no telling just what might happen...

"I wouldn't mind having a week's worth of vacation, but what about you, Kurama? Don't you have school or something?" asked Shizuru.

"Yes, I do, don't I? Hmmm..." Kurama looked thoughtful for a minute before his face brightened and he said, "I could tell my mother that I was asked to become a foreign exchange student! Then my school would be happy to let me go, and my mother wouldn't mind either!"

"Fox, you're so willing to lie, aren't you?" Shizuru assumed.

"Well... okay, yes, so I'm a bit of a pathological liar..." the fox admitted with a grin.

Koenma looked at them disbelievingly. "Do you know how much it would cost for a group as large as ours to stay at HAPPY ISLAND- the vacationing spot of the GODS- for an entire week?!"

"How much?"

"Millions! BILLIONS EVEN! Too much! We would NEVER be able to afford it unless I asked my father for money from the Reikai treasury!!!" Koenma was panicked now. There would be no way they could afford it. "You have NO IDEA how many strings were pulled just to get Hiei and Botan in! And on such a short notice too!"

Botan stared at the godling in something akin to awe. "I... I remember hearing about it now! Happy Island is the island in Makai purchased by gods and turned into a paradise! I remember the other ferry girls talking about how gods would go there for honeymoons and anniversaries and weddings, and the waiting list was years long!!! And Koenma got us in for a WEEK?!?!"

"It was originally booked by my father for our wedding, Botan, but... well, you know what happened..."

"Oh..." Botan felt really bad about rejecting Koenma now. If only she had known from the start...

Koenma managed to grin at the chibi. "Botan, please don't worry about me. You have more than enough trouble on your hands with Hiei."

The blue-haired girl glanced at the fire demon in question, and he glared back, unhappy that they were discussing him. Indeed, Hiei was going to be difficult to get along with, even if she did love him.

"Koenma, can you ask your father to get us into Happy Island? Just tell him that it's to help with the love spell!" Kurama suggested.

"No! He'd never let us! If I told him that, he would only pay for me and my date."

"Then is it possible to sneak onto the island?"

"It's an ISLAND surrounded by WATER and it has a state-of-the-art security system too! You might as well try to sneak out of Reikai prison!" Koenma exclaimed.

"I could escape prison if I really wanted to..." Kurama's eyes gleamed with excitement at the thought of this new challenge. "Let's say we managed to sneak onto the island and got past their security. Couldn't you just order them to let us stay there for a week? You're a god, after all."

"No, they wouldn't allow it. Reservations only!"

Many suggestions were passed around, but each was shot down for one reason or another. There just didn't seem to be a solution! Hiei seemed in favor of just going and threatening to kill everyone if they weren't allowed to stay; Botan and Shizuru wanted everyone to go to Lord Enma, explain everything, and ask for his help; Kurama still believed he could sneak everyone onto the elusive island; and Koenma just knew that it was hopeless.

Sighing, Kurama finally said, "This is getting nowhere! Maybe we should focus on our other problems..."

"Such as...?" wondered Shizuru.

"Hiei and Botan need to be cured. Koenma also needs to be cured and has to find a suitable wife, which will hopefully be Shizuru. To make things easier on the group date, we can't allow Jin and the others to go or else it will be impossible to go anywhere without a chaotic mess breaking out. Touya still has to convince Yukina that he's better than Shishi, but I suppose that isn't our problem right now," explained Kurama. Then, "And I still have to go to my house and wake Keiko, Yusuke, and Kuwabara, not to mention ask Keiko to accompany me on the date AS A FRIEND and nothing more!"

Everyone stared at the fox silently, wondering when things were ever going to be normal again. It all started with a simple marriage proposal from Koenma to Botan, and now they were hoping to sneak into a god's vacationing spot, playing matchmaker with everyone, and generally causing more problems than they were fixing.

"What in the three worlds are we going to do?" Botan asked to no one in particular. "This is just one huge mess!"

"I agree," stated Shizuru.

"Mm-hmm..." Koenma concurred rather hopelessly.

"I'm sick of all these pointless discussions! It's time to get things done!" Hiei exclaimed, taking charge of the situation in a sudden flash of impatience. "Fox, you need to go and wake the idiots at your house. Worry about getting a girl for the date and what ridiculous lie you're going to feed to your ningen mother, and leave everything else to the rest of us. Koenma, quit being such a baby, go with Shizuru, and ask your father to let us stay on the island. If he refuses, then we'll just sneak in anyway!"

Hiei paused to glance angrily towards the bedroom door, behind which everyone else was probably listening in on them. "There will only be eight of us going to Happy Island- me, Botan, Koenma, Shizuru, Touya, Yukina, Kurama, and his date; we aren't responsible for taking anybody else, but if they decide to follow us, then that's their problem. And once we reach the island, we'll consider the actual date and cures for these horrid love spells."

Everyone decided not to comment on Hiei's sudden change of attitude from the silent glaring chibi to the glaring, impatient chibi who told people what to do and left no room for argument. Someone had to take the role of leader around here anyway, and it wasn't like there were any wannabe heroes around to save the day- Yusuke and Kuwabara were still unconscious, after all.

"Alright, Hiei, we'll do all of that, but what about you and Botan?" Kurama asked. "Do you really intend to kiss her and then magically turn back to your normal self on Happy Island? You can only be cured by your true love, you know."

"I know that! Stay out of my business, kitsune! The ferry onna and I will worry about it later!" Hiei snapped irritably.

Botan stared at the object of her affection, surprisingly silent for once. He was actually helping them get through all of this- what a miracle! And he sounded really cute when he got angry like that... The poor ferry girl thought she might fall in love all over again!

Watching the blue-haired chibi, Shizuru recognized the look on her face and smiled inwardly. Those two were just too adorable! Someday, they would make a great couple, if only Hiei would stop being such a stubborn blockhead. Ah, if only Shizuru's love life were that simple... She was going to have to tag along with Koenma to see his father, and later on she would have to actually go on a date with the toddler. How fun.

"What exactly am I supposed to tell my father?" Koenma asked, already nervous at the very idea.

"The truth," Hiei answered simply.

"But... I can't do that! He can't know that a ferry girl rejected my proposal! That I'm trying to date a ningen girl! That I've caused this mess!"

"I'll be helping you, Koenma," reminded Shizuru before the godling panicked and did something stupid, like run into a wall. That would be embarrassing to explain at a hospital!

"Oh... that's right, you'll be going with me!" His face brightened. Perhaps it won't be SO terrible.

"You should probably leave now. There's no telling when your father will have the time to talk to you," Kurama said. Of course Lord Enma would be busy. He was such an important god, so there must be tons of work for him to do.

Koenma nodded in agreement, and they all began walking out of the bedroom. Upon opening the door, they found Touya and the others all standing around, some with their ears to the door or wall. The eavesdroppers backed away quickly, caught in their act.

Ignoring their lame excuses for being so close to the door, Botan asked, "So you guys heard everything?"

"Yes..." Touya admitted, a bit guiltily.

"Good, then there's no need to explain!" Kurama said. "Yukina and Touya, why don't you come with me? When Keiko wakes up, she'll still be angry with Touya for his so-called date with Botan. We're going to have to clarify a few things."

"That's probably a good idea," Yukina agreed, and Touya nodded.

So after bidding everyone goodbye, Koenma and Shizuru left for Reikai, and Touya, Yukina, and Kurama left for the fox's house. This left three chibis and four rather irresponsible demons all alone in the hotel.

Almost immediately, everyone went on their way to do whatever they pleased. Chuu went out for liquor, and Rinku for sugar. Refusing to say where exactly they were headed, Shishiwakamaru and Suzuka quickly left. Jin followed them, having nothing better to do than make sure they didn't get into trouble.

Thus, alone and unsupervised, Hiei and Botan were left in the hotel room.

Botan stared at the fire demon, who refused to return the look. "So, Hiei, what do you want to do? We have all day to spend together! Let's have some fun, ne?"

"No thank you. I'd rather just stay here."

"Oh..." Botan grew thoughtful for a moment, and then said, "I'm hungry!"

Glancing at the nearest clock, Hiei noted that it was past noon already. She should be hungry, since she hadn't eaten for nearly twenty-four hours.

"Then eat something, onna."

"The only food in hotels is ridiculously expensive, and I don't even have any money with me!"

"Then go out and eat!"

"I still don't have money to pay for it! Do you?"

"Of course not!"

"We're broke and hungry! WHAT DO WE DO?"

"Steal something, then."

"But... stealing is WRONG!"

"Then 'borrow' something!"

"Oh... like what?"

"Food."

"But... you can't borrow food! Either you take it and eat it, or you don't take it at all."

"That's why it's called 'borrowing'."

"What difference does that make?"

"The quotes!!! That's the difference!"

"Oh... so in other words, 'borrowing' is stealing?"

"No, 'borrowing' is taking something and not returning it."

"So it's stealing."

"Stealing is when you take something."

"And don't return it."

"That would be 'borrowing'."

"Uh-huuuh... I had no idea the vocabulary of a thief was so complicated!" Botan exclaimed.

"I'm a 'borrower', not a thief."

"But it's the SAME THING! When you 'borrow' something, you take it! Steal it! And never return it!"

"'Borrowing' is legal."

"No it's not!"

"It is, because you 'forget' to return the 'borrowed' item."

Botan thought about that for a minute, and then exclaimed, "Oh, I get it now! It's a loophole in the law!"

"Exactly."

"Wow you thiev- er, 'borrowers' sure have twisted logic!" Botan said. Then she grinned. "Wanna go 'borrow' something?"

"Such as?"

"Food."

Hiei smirked, glad that she was catching on. She wasn't quite so bad, after all. "Okay, just pick a place!"

Jim hated his job as an employee of Starbucks. Too many hours, too many ungracious customers, and not enough pay. Sure, you actually had coffee on your coffee break, but it wasn't free. Upon seeing Hiei and Botan enter the shop, he sighed and mentally prepared himself for more orders of coffee.

When the two approached the counter to order, he asked monotonously, "What can I get for you today?"

Hiei looked at Botan questioningly. "Why are we here? This is a coffeehouse!"

"I like coffee!"

"But... you're HUNGRY, not thirsty!"

"Coffee is better than food," Botan explained.

"No it's not."

"How would YOU know?"

"I've had coffee before and it tastes like-"

"AHEM, may I help you?" Jim interrupted impatiently. Other customers were kept waiting while these two argued!

Before Jim became angry, Botan quickly ordered two cups of coffee. When he asked for the money, the chibis stared at him blankly.

"M-money?"

"Yes. To pay for your coffee?"

"Oh... well can we pay AFTER we get our order?"

Jim glared at them suspiciously. "Can't you pay now?"

"I want to be sure we like the coffee before paying for it!" explained Hiei.

An eyebrow rose and Jim continued to glare. Hadn't the spiky-haired one just said that he hated coffee? They were planning something... But he couldn't just refuse their request without causing a big scene and making other customers wait even longer. So, reluctantly, he nodded and motioned for Hiei and Botan to stand to the side as a fellow Starbucks employee prepared the coffee.

When given their order and asked to pay by Jim's coworker, Hiei and Botan stared blankly yet again. Then, without another word, they grabbed the coffee, turned, and ran toward the door.

But Jim was prepared for that. He knew they were going to attempt something stupid like that. Before they could leave, he reached under the counter, opened the emergency panel, and pushed the emergency Starbucks lock-up anti-thief button.

A red light flashed, a siren whined, and sliding metal sheets sealed all doors and windows. Every customer in the store froze, including Hiei and Botan, and looked around in awe. Who would've imagined a Starbucks that had such an odd security system?

Hiei didn't know what to do. Despite his experience in 'borrowing', this had NEVER happened before. He wasn't at all prepared for ningens with strong anti-thief policies! Botan was even more clueless, and she glanced at Hiei for guidance, but received nothing but a helpless stare.

Jim grinned, glad to have caught them in the act of skipping out on their bill. "Attention all Starbucks customers and employees. Please direct your attention to the two kids with the odd hair," Jim announced. When everyone was looking at Hiei and Botan, he continued, "Yes, the two with a deer-caught-in-the-headlights look have just attempted to steal coffee from your local Starbucks. Now watch what happens to THIEVES!"

Botan frowned. "We aren't thieves! We're 'borrowers'!"

Jim snorted. "Same thing."

"No, it's not."

"Yes, it is!"

"Nuh-uh!"

"Uh-huh!"

"No!"

"Yes!"

As Botan and Jim argued, Hiei thought about their situation and, most importantly, how to get out of it. Although he didn't care if he frightened any ningens, he couldn't just show them his Jagan or something, or else he AND Botan would get in trouble with Reikai, so that meant no fighting or use of his true speed. But... that also meant it would be impossible to escape...

Finally, before Hiei could come to a conclusion, Jim had had enough. "That's it. No more arguing, girl. You two are going to pay for your coffee!"

"But... we have no money!" wailed Botan. This wasn't supposed to happen! They should've been out the door and a few blocks away, enjoying their 'borrowed' coffee by now!

"Oh? Then why did you try to purchase coffee?"

"We're hungry orphans who live on the street! We would've starved otherwise! Are you so heartless that you would let that happen to us?" Hiei was straight out lying now, in hopes of escaping without too much trouble. Well... SOME of what he said was true. They had no parents to speak of, and they WERE hungry...

"Oh ho, so you're starving orphans, ne? Then why are you so CLEAN?"

"Because... uhhh...."

"See? You're LYING! I can tell!" Jim exclaimed, a maniacal gleam in his eyes. Oh, this would be FUN!

"We still don't have any money to pay! And we're really hungry!"

"Then go get your mommy and daddy to pay for it," Jim said, rather mockingly.

"My parents are DEAD!" exclaimed Hiei with a furious glare.

Botan nodded and added, "I don't even REMEMBER my parents."

"Hmph... Yeah, right! Your parents probably sent you here to cause trouble!"

"YOU HEARTLESS MONSTER!" Botan screamed. "You're making fun of my DEAD parents! HOW COULD YOU?!"

"And you, little girl, are INSULTING Starbucks by attempting to STEAL your coffee! That does it, into the closet with them!" Jim ordered. Two of his coworkers ran out and grabbed Hiei and Botan, throwing their coffee elsewhere. Then they dragged the struggling chibis into a nearby storage closet and locked the door on them.

Inside the closet, there was a locked door, solid walls, and cleaning equipment surrounded them, but those wouldn't be of any use to escape. Hiei sulked and pouted, rather cutely, and tears began filling Botan's eyes. She couldn't believe this was happening! All she wanted was a cup of coffee...

"Onna, don't CRY!" the fire demon groaned.

"I-I can't HELP IT! This is HORRIBLE!"

"We'll get out... eventually..."

"But we're helpless! If you knock down the door or bust a wall or do ANYTHING that could do any harm..."

"I know, I know, Koenma will have my head!"

"And I'm just... USELESS! I can't help at all!"

Sighing, Hiei sat down against the wall and looked around. What could they do...?

Note: I don't know anything about working at Starbucks so sorry if it sounds weird...

Oh, and before I forget to say this, the chibi-ness won't last much longer! Really! Hiei and Botan will cure themselves very soon....