Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction ❯ Midnight in Tokyo ❯ Chapter 1 ( Chapter 1 )
[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
Title:: Midnight in Tokyo
Author:: SakuraSango
Rating:: 'R'
Summary:: One by one the Rekai gang and those close to them are being murdered.With each death the remaining gang tries to find the killer. Once they do will they want to stop the murders?Do they really want to stop the murderer?
Pairings:: Yusuke/Keiko, Kuwabara/Yukina (implied), Kurama/Botan, Hiei/Hinajeshi
Warnings:: Character death, blood, angsty moments, language, adult situations (not NC-17 stuff though), death, blood. ‘K respect the ‘R’ rating. Oh did I mention blood?
Disclaimer:: I don’t own anything.
A/n:: Yet another story. ::sweat drop:: I guess this means that I’ll have yet another story to try to write during the week ::sighs::I know I should really finish the other ones first, blame this darn short attention span ::hits head:: Anyways read and review.
Hunching further over, shoes clicked angrily across the chilled pavement before stilling. There before him was the one place that he hated more then school at the moment.The ‘Yukimura Ramen Shop,’ the one place that was keeping him away from his first free weekend in over a year.Koenma had told the gang that they could have this weekend off since they had worked so hard.And the four of them had gladly taken the weekend, cheering victoriously at the things they would do. Kuwabara had plans to take Yukina to her first movie.Kurama had decided- with a hidden smile that Yusuke had caught- that he was going to go with his mother to visit relatives; Botan had eagerly offered to go with him, telling the demon that it would be a wonderful way for her and his mother to 'get to know each other better.'Hiei would undoubtedly follow Kuwabara in the shadows, muttering threats in the wind.And Yusuke?He got to stand in a line passing out fliers and doing odd jobs.“What fun,” he sneered at the light post before him.
Walking up to the sliding door Yusuke sighed, he was in for yet another day of hearing all about Keiko’s problems.Her family’s shop was going though a rough time, and now that was all Keiko talked about.Yusuke almost wished that she would scold him for ditching school and to stop beating up 'poor defenseless' people.Anything! Heck even about the stars and her new makeup would be better then what she talked about now. All Keiko talked about was about how she was probably going to have to move out of the only house she ever knew.And about how she would not be able to afford a college unless it was by scholarship.Then that would continue on to about how she was slipping in history and how the scholarship would be a remote goal.Yusuke’s head already was pounding and Keiko was not even around!
Slowly Yusuke opened the door giving a quick shout out hoping that Keiko was nearby. Receiving no answer he walked over to the black counter, leaning against its cold marble slamming an impatient hand on the small bell.
Yusuke rested his elbow on the counter while gently cradling his bruised cheek as he let his mind replay the mornings events.Like always his wonderful dearest mother had come home drunk.But this time she had brought along her bastard of a boyfriend.He had thought it would be only right to make his role be known.The punch had been his way of telling Yusuke to not wake him up so early.Yusuke clenched his teeth in anger again as he thought about the smug bastard that had dared to say he would be the ‘new daddy.’If only he knew that he was his mother's plaything, in a few weeks she would grow tired of him and would dump him on the doorstep. Perhaps Sensui was right in wanting to kill off the humans.Bastards like him deserved to go.
Blood boiled within the teen’s veins as he pummeled a poor bell to death.‘Where the hell is she?’ Yusuke’s anger rose as he heard no noise in the back of the shop.Had Keiko ditched him? 'If she ditched me, I'll....' Yusuke was so furious that he could not even finish the thought as he walked around the overlapping counter and headed for the stairs that took him up to Keiko's small room.
Reaching the top of the stairs he looked down the long hall. Somehow it did not feel right. Keiko's parents were known for leaving the lights on, they loved to make their little house as cheery as the could. Plus her mother was terrified of turning off the hall lights, afraid that someone would misjudge the length of the hall in their half-roused slumber and fall down the stairs. But right now the hall was dark, the only light coming from under the doors from the rising morning sun.
Stepping lightly Yusuke reached out for the wall, running his hand over the cool, smooth surface as he began walking down the hall. Something was wrong, he knew it. Walking on tip-toes Yusuke continued down the darkened hall, his hand guiding his path, as he walked to the room at the end of the hall. Keiko's room. His heart pounded in his chest as he strained to hear past the thudding.
Walking under the hall light, Yusuke let his hand slide under the switch, outlining the hard cold plastic. Stepping forward Yusuke froze as he stepped on broken glass. Pulling his foot back he stared at the sole of his sneaker. Shards of glass stuck out jagged ends cutting at the rubber at his shoes. Bending down he grabbed a shard, studying it in the dim light. Gasping he straightened up, chestnut eyes widening as he stared at the small light fixture above his head.
Why was the light broken? Looking down Yusuke tried to find the silver bottom of the bulb on the floor, his eyes skimming over the shards before glancing around the hall. His heart began to pound a little louder as he realized that the bulb had not just simply fallen. The bottom of the bulb was no where to be found. It was almost as though someone had hit the bulb, breaking it from the light.
'But why? Why would someone do that?' Yusuke wondered as he held the shard in his hand, uncounsiously he slid his foot along the tiled floor breaking the shards off from his shoe. 'Why? Unless they wanted to get through without being seen. Unless they wanted....'
Bile rose in Yusuke's mouth as he dropped the shard running down the hall. If they wanted to be unseen in their evil acts. Yusuke stopped at the first door, the small bathroom. Holding his breath the teen shakily reached out grasping the brass knob in his hand. Slowly he turned the handle, pushing open the door. Wild eyes glanced around the room as Yusuke let out a sigh. Nothing out of the ordinary...
Walking down the hall a little more Yusuke bypassed the hall closet, turning instead to Keiko's parents room. Grabbing the long handle Yusuke turned the knob pushing the door wide open. "Sorry for intruding but I just wanted to be sure..." Yusuke muttered as he opened the door stopping as he realized the room was empty. "Hello," Yusuke called as he looked around the small room one last time. Shrugging he turned heading back into the hall.
Maybe he was wrong after all. Maybe the light did fall, and maybe it was just partially cleaned up. Keiko could have easily gone to the store to get a new bulb, forgetting in her haste to leave Yusuke a call or a note. Breathing deeply Yusuke leaned against the wall, trying to steady his shaking legs.
'Just look in Keiko's room. You'll see that everything is fine. Then you can laugh off your histarics. And then just give Keiko a good scolding for not telling you.' Yusuke mentally urged himself to pull away from the wall, his sole support. Shakily he stood on his own, walking slowly down the hall, his knees giving out under the weight of his body. His hand dragged along the wall in an effort to keep himself steady. The Spirit Detective was afraid that if he was to pull his hand away he would fall.
Yusuke slowly walked down the hall, trying to keep in his mind that everything was fine. If he did not believe then.... Yusuke paled at the simple thought of what could be wrong. Yes he was mad at Keiko this morning, but that did not mean that he did not love her. Yusuke loved Keiko with all of his heart. He believed that he could not ever live without her....
The soft hand on the snowy wall jerked away as Yusuke turned wide eyed. Slowly he looked at his hand, rubbing his thumb and middle finger together. Shuddering Yusuke paled, swaying lightly. He knew this feel. After fighting so many demons....After being covered in their blood and his, Yusuke had learned this feel. The sticky substance that clung to his fingertips, hardening as he rubbed the tips together.
Blood...
Chestnut eyes stared at the wall in front of him, gasping as he stared at the bloody hand print on the wall. Holding his hand up to it, Yusuke gasped as he realized it was closer to his size. It wasn't Keiko's hand that made the mark. Then that meant....
Turning Yusuke ran for Keiko's room tossing the door open without knocking or hesitating. The site before him made Yusuke gag furiously as he turned away. An anguished cry fell from Yusuke's mouth as he bent over. Hands on his stomach Yusuke dry heaved as his body shook from un-fallen tears. "Oh god no...." Yusuke wailed as he looked back. The hideous site was still there. It was not a dream...
Droplets of blood was strewn across the room, though Yusuke was blind to all of that. Even the smears on the wall was not in his line of vision. All that he solely focused on was the puddle of blood that snaked from around Keiko's small bed. Lying neatly on her white and pink blanket, Keiko looked so peaceful, almost as though she was sleeping. Blood dripped from her sliced wrists, the blood slowly slid down the girl's naked body soaking into the blanket. As the wound on her throat stood wide open, blood still streaming from the ghastly wound. The saturated, and now deeply crimson, blanket dripped blood onto the floor, adding to the ever growing puddle.
"OH GOD!" Yusuke wailed as he half ran, half stumbled to the bedside. Careful to avoid the blood, Yusuke touched Keiko's cold skin as tears streamed freely down his face. "Keiko god please no. Keiko please wake up." Gently he poked her cheek trying to wake the girl. "Please slap me. Just wake up. Oh god please just wake up. God no....Oh god no please no." Yusuke laid against the crimson soaked blanket pressing his warm cheek against her lifeless one. Gently he placed a chaste kiss on her bluing lips before pulling away from the gustily scene. The front of his shirt was now a deep crimson as he turned and ran out of the room and down the hall. Tears stung his eyes as he ran down the small staircase, stumbling a couple of times. Reaching the bottom, Yusuke tried to gasp for air as he grabbed his head, feeling it spin. Feeling a little better, Yusuke looked up from the tiled floor gasping again as he saw two other bodies lying on the floor, lifeless.
'Her parents,' Yusuke thought before he ran out of the shop, leaving the door wide open as he ran down the street to the nearest open shop. Bursting in with his bloody shirt, Yusuke was only able to cry out for help before collapsing on the floor in a whimpering heap.
On the chair next to him Kuwabara sat, having rushed over as soon as Shizuru had gotten the call. She barely had time to tell her baby brother where Yusuke was before the carrot top was out the door and running down the street. Kuwabara placed a gentle hand on Yusuke's shoulder, though the teen did not react to the touch, Kuwabara could only hope that the gentle touches would get through him. To help snap him out of his stupor.
"Urimeshi," Kuwabara sighed leaning against the muscular shoulder of his friend, "you gotta snap out of it. I'm sorry Keiko is gone. But you gotta wake up. Come on..." But Yusuke remained emotionless to all of his friend's pleadings.
"Kuwabara!" The carrot top looked up, raising a weak hand to Kurama as the red head raced over. "I came as soon as I heard. How is he?"
Kuwabara shrugged, "He's been like this since I came." Blue eyes glanced at the clock on the wall.
Kurama knelt in front of Yusuke grabbing both of his hands. "Yusuke...Yusuke!"
"You can forget about that," Kurama glanced up at Kuwabara as he stood, stretching his back as he walked away from the chairs. Sighing he leaned against the open window staring at the clear blue sky. Why was it always the bluest when someone was suffering. "I already tried that. The cops said it looks like he's gone catatonic from the shock. Or something like that....I wasn't really listening."
Kurama smiled at Kuwabara's stumbling of words. "I'm sorry for your loss Yusuke. She never deserved it, no one does. Just tell me if you ever need anything and I'll be there for you. Just tell me, ok?" Sighing he stood, squeezing Yusuke's shoulder reassuringly before he walked closer to Kuwabara. "Hey," Kurama whispered leaning closer as to make sure that Yusuke did not overhear the two of them, "did they ever get a hold of his mother?"
Kuwabara shook his head negatively before answering back as quietly, "Nope, I guess they tried when Yusuke was still somewhat responsive. They said he muttered something about how they should try to bars for her. But they haven't found her yet."
Kurama leaned against the windowsill with a sigh. "She's probably at one of her boyfriend's houses." A dry laugh escaped the fox demon's mouth as he glanced over at the carrot top. "And just when he needs her the most."
Kuwabara grunted in reply catching Kurama's eyes before turning back out to the scenery outside.
Anyways I'm not sure how this is I just don't like the feel of it, I might actually go back and redo this one again later....But please tell me what you think.
Author:: SakuraSango
Rating:: 'R'
Summary:: One by one the Rekai gang and those close to them are being murdered.With each death the remaining gang tries to find the killer. Once they do will they want to stop the murders?Do they really want to stop the murderer?
Pairings:: Yusuke/Keiko, Kuwabara/Yukina (implied), Kurama/Botan, Hiei/Hinajeshi
Warnings:: Character death, blood, angsty moments, language, adult situations (not NC-17 stuff though), death, blood. ‘K respect the ‘R’ rating. Oh did I mention blood?
Disclaimer:: I don’t own anything.
A/n:: Yet another story. ::sweat drop:: I guess this means that I’ll have yet another story to try to write during the week ::sighs::I know I should really finish the other ones first, blame this darn short attention span ::hits head:: Anyways read and review.
x-x-x-
"If I tell you, I won't be ableTo be with you anymoreIf I didn't meet you, I wouldn't havehad to experience this
If I could hate you, I wouldn't have
had this much pain."'If I Can Be With You' by Miyamoto Shunichi
x-x-x-
A tall, muscular teen with slicked back black hair walked down the empty street.The early morning light showed an angry teen; hands in pockets as he grumbled trying to figure out why he had even agreed to help Keiko at the fund raiser. Once again he kicked himself for falling for those damn puppy dog eyes.Those stupid eyes always got him.And to make matters worse Kuwabara and Kurama had to remind Yusuke of the martial arts competition that was going on today.Grumbling again he kicked a tiny blue stone sending it to a dinged up trashcan.A low thud could be heard as Yusuke walked past it."If I tell you, I won't be ableTo be with you anymoreIf I didn't meet you, I wouldn't havehad to experience this
If I could hate you, I wouldn't have
had this much pain."'If I Can Be With You' by Miyamoto Shunichi
x-x-x-
Hunching further over, shoes clicked angrily across the chilled pavement before stilling. There before him was the one place that he hated more then school at the moment.The ‘Yukimura Ramen Shop,’ the one place that was keeping him away from his first free weekend in over a year.Koenma had told the gang that they could have this weekend off since they had worked so hard.And the four of them had gladly taken the weekend, cheering victoriously at the things they would do. Kuwabara had plans to take Yukina to her first movie.Kurama had decided- with a hidden smile that Yusuke had caught- that he was going to go with his mother to visit relatives; Botan had eagerly offered to go with him, telling the demon that it would be a wonderful way for her and his mother to 'get to know each other better.'Hiei would undoubtedly follow Kuwabara in the shadows, muttering threats in the wind.And Yusuke?He got to stand in a line passing out fliers and doing odd jobs.“What fun,” he sneered at the light post before him.
Walking up to the sliding door Yusuke sighed, he was in for yet another day of hearing all about Keiko’s problems.Her family’s shop was going though a rough time, and now that was all Keiko talked about.Yusuke almost wished that she would scold him for ditching school and to stop beating up 'poor defenseless' people.Anything! Heck even about the stars and her new makeup would be better then what she talked about now. All Keiko talked about was about how she was probably going to have to move out of the only house she ever knew.And about how she would not be able to afford a college unless it was by scholarship.Then that would continue on to about how she was slipping in history and how the scholarship would be a remote goal.Yusuke’s head already was pounding and Keiko was not even around!
Slowly Yusuke opened the door giving a quick shout out hoping that Keiko was nearby. Receiving no answer he walked over to the black counter, leaning against its cold marble slamming an impatient hand on the small bell.
Yusuke rested his elbow on the counter while gently cradling his bruised cheek as he let his mind replay the mornings events.Like always his wonderful dearest mother had come home drunk.But this time she had brought along her bastard of a boyfriend.He had thought it would be only right to make his role be known.The punch had been his way of telling Yusuke to not wake him up so early.Yusuke clenched his teeth in anger again as he thought about the smug bastard that had dared to say he would be the ‘new daddy.’If only he knew that he was his mother's plaything, in a few weeks she would grow tired of him and would dump him on the doorstep. Perhaps Sensui was right in wanting to kill off the humans.Bastards like him deserved to go.
Blood boiled within the teen’s veins as he pummeled a poor bell to death.‘Where the hell is she?’ Yusuke’s anger rose as he heard no noise in the back of the shop.Had Keiko ditched him? 'If she ditched me, I'll....' Yusuke was so furious that he could not even finish the thought as he walked around the overlapping counter and headed for the stairs that took him up to Keiko's small room.
Reaching the top of the stairs he looked down the long hall. Somehow it did not feel right. Keiko's parents were known for leaving the lights on, they loved to make their little house as cheery as the could. Plus her mother was terrified of turning off the hall lights, afraid that someone would misjudge the length of the hall in their half-roused slumber and fall down the stairs. But right now the hall was dark, the only light coming from under the doors from the rising morning sun.
Stepping lightly Yusuke reached out for the wall, running his hand over the cool, smooth surface as he began walking down the hall. Something was wrong, he knew it. Walking on tip-toes Yusuke continued down the darkened hall, his hand guiding his path, as he walked to the room at the end of the hall. Keiko's room. His heart pounded in his chest as he strained to hear past the thudding.
Walking under the hall light, Yusuke let his hand slide under the switch, outlining the hard cold plastic. Stepping forward Yusuke froze as he stepped on broken glass. Pulling his foot back he stared at the sole of his sneaker. Shards of glass stuck out jagged ends cutting at the rubber at his shoes. Bending down he grabbed a shard, studying it in the dim light. Gasping he straightened up, chestnut eyes widening as he stared at the small light fixture above his head.
Why was the light broken? Looking down Yusuke tried to find the silver bottom of the bulb on the floor, his eyes skimming over the shards before glancing around the hall. His heart began to pound a little louder as he realized that the bulb had not just simply fallen. The bottom of the bulb was no where to be found. It was almost as though someone had hit the bulb, breaking it from the light.
'But why? Why would someone do that?' Yusuke wondered as he held the shard in his hand, uncounsiously he slid his foot along the tiled floor breaking the shards off from his shoe. 'Why? Unless they wanted to get through without being seen. Unless they wanted....'
Bile rose in Yusuke's mouth as he dropped the shard running down the hall. If they wanted to be unseen in their evil acts. Yusuke stopped at the first door, the small bathroom. Holding his breath the teen shakily reached out grasping the brass knob in his hand. Slowly he turned the handle, pushing open the door. Wild eyes glanced around the room as Yusuke let out a sigh. Nothing out of the ordinary...
Walking down the hall a little more Yusuke bypassed the hall closet, turning instead to Keiko's parents room. Grabbing the long handle Yusuke turned the knob pushing the door wide open. "Sorry for intruding but I just wanted to be sure..." Yusuke muttered as he opened the door stopping as he realized the room was empty. "Hello," Yusuke called as he looked around the small room one last time. Shrugging he turned heading back into the hall.
Maybe he was wrong after all. Maybe the light did fall, and maybe it was just partially cleaned up. Keiko could have easily gone to the store to get a new bulb, forgetting in her haste to leave Yusuke a call or a note. Breathing deeply Yusuke leaned against the wall, trying to steady his shaking legs.
'Just look in Keiko's room. You'll see that everything is fine. Then you can laugh off your histarics. And then just give Keiko a good scolding for not telling you.' Yusuke mentally urged himself to pull away from the wall, his sole support. Shakily he stood on his own, walking slowly down the hall, his knees giving out under the weight of his body. His hand dragged along the wall in an effort to keep himself steady. The Spirit Detective was afraid that if he was to pull his hand away he would fall.
Yusuke slowly walked down the hall, trying to keep in his mind that everything was fine. If he did not believe then.... Yusuke paled at the simple thought of what could be wrong. Yes he was mad at Keiko this morning, but that did not mean that he did not love her. Yusuke loved Keiko with all of his heart. He believed that he could not ever live without her....
The soft hand on the snowy wall jerked away as Yusuke turned wide eyed. Slowly he looked at his hand, rubbing his thumb and middle finger together. Shuddering Yusuke paled, swaying lightly. He knew this feel. After fighting so many demons....After being covered in their blood and his, Yusuke had learned this feel. The sticky substance that clung to his fingertips, hardening as he rubbed the tips together.
Blood...
Chestnut eyes stared at the wall in front of him, gasping as he stared at the bloody hand print on the wall. Holding his hand up to it, Yusuke gasped as he realized it was closer to his size. It wasn't Keiko's hand that made the mark. Then that meant....
Turning Yusuke ran for Keiko's room tossing the door open without knocking or hesitating. The site before him made Yusuke gag furiously as he turned away. An anguished cry fell from Yusuke's mouth as he bent over. Hands on his stomach Yusuke dry heaved as his body shook from un-fallen tears. "Oh god no...." Yusuke wailed as he looked back. The hideous site was still there. It was not a dream...
Droplets of blood was strewn across the room, though Yusuke was blind to all of that. Even the smears on the wall was not in his line of vision. All that he solely focused on was the puddle of blood that snaked from around Keiko's small bed. Lying neatly on her white and pink blanket, Keiko looked so peaceful, almost as though she was sleeping. Blood dripped from her sliced wrists, the blood slowly slid down the girl's naked body soaking into the blanket. As the wound on her throat stood wide open, blood still streaming from the ghastly wound. The saturated, and now deeply crimson, blanket dripped blood onto the floor, adding to the ever growing puddle.
"OH GOD!" Yusuke wailed as he half ran, half stumbled to the bedside. Careful to avoid the blood, Yusuke touched Keiko's cold skin as tears streamed freely down his face. "Keiko god please no. Keiko please wake up." Gently he poked her cheek trying to wake the girl. "Please slap me. Just wake up. Oh god please just wake up. God no....Oh god no please no." Yusuke laid against the crimson soaked blanket pressing his warm cheek against her lifeless one. Gently he placed a chaste kiss on her bluing lips before pulling away from the gustily scene. The front of his shirt was now a deep crimson as he turned and ran out of the room and down the hall. Tears stung his eyes as he ran down the small staircase, stumbling a couple of times. Reaching the bottom, Yusuke tried to gasp for air as he grabbed his head, feeling it spin. Feeling a little better, Yusuke looked up from the tiled floor gasping again as he saw two other bodies lying on the floor, lifeless.
'Her parents,' Yusuke thought before he ran out of the shop, leaving the door wide open as he ran down the street to the nearest open shop. Bursting in with his bloody shirt, Yusuke was only able to cry out for help before collapsing on the floor in a whimpering heap.
x-x-x-
At the police station, Yusuke sat his arms hugging his legs tightly. Yusuke's bloody shirt had been removed, and a young cop- that had felt sorry for the boy- had given him one of his shirts, with a soft smile on his face. Chestnut eyes stared lifelessly at the tiled floor, unseeing of the feet that crossed it. Yusuke sat in his own little world not seeing or hearing anyone or anything. The only thing that he could see was the lifeless body of his girlfriend and all he could hear was the screaming denials in his head.On the chair next to him Kuwabara sat, having rushed over as soon as Shizuru had gotten the call. She barely had time to tell her baby brother where Yusuke was before the carrot top was out the door and running down the street. Kuwabara placed a gentle hand on Yusuke's shoulder, though the teen did not react to the touch, Kuwabara could only hope that the gentle touches would get through him. To help snap him out of his stupor.
"Urimeshi," Kuwabara sighed leaning against the muscular shoulder of his friend, "you gotta snap out of it. I'm sorry Keiko is gone. But you gotta wake up. Come on..." But Yusuke remained emotionless to all of his friend's pleadings.
"Kuwabara!" The carrot top looked up, raising a weak hand to Kurama as the red head raced over. "I came as soon as I heard. How is he?"
Kuwabara shrugged, "He's been like this since I came." Blue eyes glanced at the clock on the wall.
Kurama knelt in front of Yusuke grabbing both of his hands. "Yusuke...Yusuke!"
"You can forget about that," Kurama glanced up at Kuwabara as he stood, stretching his back as he walked away from the chairs. Sighing he leaned against the open window staring at the clear blue sky. Why was it always the bluest when someone was suffering. "I already tried that. The cops said it looks like he's gone catatonic from the shock. Or something like that....I wasn't really listening."
Kurama smiled at Kuwabara's stumbling of words. "I'm sorry for your loss Yusuke. She never deserved it, no one does. Just tell me if you ever need anything and I'll be there for you. Just tell me, ok?" Sighing he stood, squeezing Yusuke's shoulder reassuringly before he walked closer to Kuwabara. "Hey," Kurama whispered leaning closer as to make sure that Yusuke did not overhear the two of them, "did they ever get a hold of his mother?"
Kuwabara shook his head negatively before answering back as quietly, "Nope, I guess they tried when Yusuke was still somewhat responsive. They said he muttered something about how they should try to bars for her. But they haven't found her yet."
Kurama leaned against the windowsill with a sigh. "She's probably at one of her boyfriend's houses." A dry laugh escaped the fox demon's mouth as he glanced over at the carrot top. "And just when he needs her the most."
Kuwabara grunted in reply catching Kurama's eyes before turning back out to the scenery outside.
x-x-x-
Alllllright sorry Keiko fans. I swear I have nothing against her it's just you know part of the story. But if it helps she's only the beginning. There are so many more to come, so much more....Anyways reviews are always helpful.Anyways I'm not sure how this is I just don't like the feel of it, I might actually go back and redo this one again later....But please tell me what you think.