Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction ❯ My Downfall ❯ The Why of Hiei ( Chapter 15 )

A/N: I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho or any of the characters herein, they are all the property of Yoshihiro Togashi.

 

Recap: Botan went back in time and tried to convince Hiei's mother to take him back and raise him and also she tried to take Hiei back to the ice village, but she ultimately failed at both tasks, almost getting killed by nasty little toddler Hiei in the process - whilst ironically she was saved by nasty little adult Hiei in the present day.

 

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Chapter 15: The Why of Hiei

 

Botan began to wake up: which was something of a wonder to her, as she had been sure that she had condemned herself to the netherworld for using The Stolen Moment, messing with history and exhausting all of her spirit energy and practically all of her life energy.

 

She felt heavy, stiff and almost every part of her body ached. Well that meant that she must be alive, at least. She looked around the faces looking down at her, feeling a little confused.

 

“Who are you?” she asked them.

 

They looked around themselves, exchanging frowns of confusion before turning their attention back to her.

 

“It's us, Botan,” one boy answered her. “Don't you remember? Don't tell me you got amnesia!”

 

“Tell me who you are,” she asked.

 

She had to be sure.

 

“I'm Yusuke Urameshi, and I'm seriously pissed off that you don't remember me!” the boy replied. “After all that we've been through? This is my girlfriend, Keiko, that's Kurama, that's Kuwabara, that's Yukina and that idiot with the pacifier in his mouth is Koenma.”

 

Botan managed a small smile. It made no sense that the new future she had created had allowed all of these wonderful people back into her life, but she was not about to question it. She could not help but notice that one face was missing though, and she had to know why. Had she killed Hiei, or had she managed to get him back to the ice village somehow?

 

“Is this everyone?” she asked quietly.

 

“Ayame is outside with George the ogre,” Yusuke said. “The big guy was a blubbering mess, so we made her take him out of here.”

 

Botan's smile vanished. Hiei was not a part of the group any more. Strange though that everything else seemed to be exactly the same.

 

“Well, I'm sure we can all agree that it is certainly a relief to see Botan awake,” Kurama said in his usual calm and yet commanding tone. “But might I suggest that we let her rest. She is still injured and weakened, and needs to relax.”

 

The others nodded, and one by one they began to file out of the room. Kurama lingered back, sliding the door shut as Koenma finally left under duress. He sighed heavily before turning to Botan and approaching her bedside again.

 

“I know what really happened to you,” he said. “Or at least, I can take an educated guess: you made a wish on The Stolen Moment, and it sent you back in time.”

 

Botan tensed, her eyes slowly widening in panic.

 

“The others think that the device malfunctioned, and merely sent you into demon world, and you were injured during the transition,” Kurama continued. “But I don't think that was the case at all.”

 

He reached a hand into his hair, removing a roll of paper. As he unfurled it, Botan was at first curious, but soon began to feel physically sick at what she saw, her mind already anticipating what he was about to say.

 

“This is the illustration of The Stolen Moment that we recovered from demon world,” he explained. “I assume it is familiar to you? And I assume that if I was to check your notebook, I would find that this page would have a place there.”

 

Botan looked down at the sketch, littered with her own faded handwriting. She could not even remember it being torn from her notebook. She thought about it a little longer and then remembered that she had placed her notebook down on the table the panther demon and his four associates had been playing cards at, and she concluded that one of them must have taken it then, during her moment of distraction with Hiei biting her hand.

 

“Where is my notebook?” she asked, looking down at herself.

 

Somebody had changed her into a clean set of pyjamas, and the notebook had last been in the pocket of her velour tracksuit. She watched Kurama cross the room to a small vanity desk, opening the top drawer and removing her battered old book. He walked back to her bedside and held it out to her.

 

“I don't understand,” she said as she took it from him. “How could you and the team have recovered the page from my notebook before I even put it there?”

 

Botan flipped through the pages to the section on The Stolen Moment, her heart sinking when she saw the feathered, stumpy remains by the spine where the whole page had been torn free. She peered over the top of the pages at Kurama, finding him looking distinctly stern and tense.

 

“You left this in demon world 99 years ago,” he explained, holding up the page. “We found it two days ago.”

 

“But two days ago is before I used The Stolen Moment!” Botan argued.

 

“You used The Stolen Moment after we found this, to take yourself back to a time before we found it,” he replied. “It was a circular event. One could not have happened without the other. You were already destined to use the device before you even found it, because if you had not used it, this page would never have arrived in demon world, and nobody ever would have gone looking for The Stolen Moment, and therefore you would never have been ordered to destroy it.”

 

Botan lowered her open notebook to rest against her chest.

 

“That's very confusing, Kurama,” she said. “I don't even understand how you know that I used The Stolen Moment, I thought I changed history?”

 

“You did, Botan,” Kurama replied. “But you did it 99 years ago, and everything that has happened since has been a result of that. We were already living in the new future you had created, so there has been no change.”

 

“Wait, are you saying that I only would have created a chaotic new future if I hadn't gone back in time?” Botan asked.

 

“If you hadn't gone back, it would have been because you were never meant to,” he replied. “Think of it like this: if you had not made the wish, if you had not gone back in time, you would not have been present to leave this page in demon world, nobody there would have learned of The Stolen Moment, there would not have been any abductions, Lord Koenma would not have hired us to investigate the matter, and you would not have come in contact with The Stolen Moment. The fact that you did, means that you were always meant to use it.”

 

Botan pulled a face at Kurama, though her gesture was short-lived, as she still throbbed where baby Hiei had chomped into her nose, lip and cheek.

 

“You got all of that from a page?” she asked.

 

“Not quite,” he replied. “Some research into The Stolen Moment and a few interesting conversations with Hiei about his past helped me realise the truth. If I am correct, you must be the crazy woman who tried to kidnap Hiei when he was just an infant.”

 

Botan grinned nervously, though her gesture quickly ended as her face throbbed.

 

“I see,” Kurama said with a nod. “Using the device was incredibly selfish and infinitely idiotic. I'm not sure what to think of you now. I'm not sure if you are incredibly stupid or incredibly naïve for doing this, Botan.”

 

“Well neither of those options sound flattering,” Botan responded with a pout.

 

“A strategic person such as myself would have gone back in time and visited a young me,” Kurama continued, ignoring her reply. “I would have attempted to create something rarely found: a wise head on young shoulders. I would have imparted all the key information that has made me who I am unto my younger self in order to avoid some of the disasters I have faced in my long life, to make myself stronger, smarter and to hopefully avoid where I find myself today, inhabiting this body.”

 

“That makes sense.”

 

“But it would have had its costs. I have learnt so much in this body and in this life that I never could have as Youko. A reckless, egotistical person like Hiei would have used the device to go back incrementally: a journey back a few years to kill Tarukane before he kidnapped Yukina before locating The Stolen Moment from that era and using it to go further back. He would have kept going back until he had corrected every regret he ever had, creating a tide of chaos that would have drowned us all when it came crashing in.”

 

“I never thought that there was another version of The Stolen Moment in the time I went back to. I could have dug it up and used it!”

 

“But you didn't. Perhaps it was for the best that it was a person like you who did use it. Though I am curious: just what did you plan to do 99 years in the past?”

 

Botan hesitated before answering, feeling unwilling to reveal the exact details of her plans to anyone; but the look on Kurama's face and the idea that she was already likely to be facing severe punishment from King Enma for using The Stolen Moment to begin with made her believe that her situation could not really get much worse, and so she might as well confess.

 

“I wanted to help Hiei,” she said quietly. “I just thought that maybe if I could convince his mother to take him back and bring him up with Yukina, he would be happier than he is now - than he was before I went back. But I misjudged the time somehow. I tried to go back when he was just a few months old, but he was already a year old when I got there.”

 

“You realise the ice maidens conceive at 100 years old, and do not give birth at that age?” Kurama asked her. “And also a demon's gestation period is substantially shorter than a human's.”

 

“Oh.”

 

“And you do realise that the Hiei you have always known had already been influenced by your excursion back in time before today?”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“Your journey back in time was an entirely circular event. You haven't changed anything in the life you know by going back, because you had already changed it. I am curious to know what influence you did have on current events though. Obviously you led those demons to the portal and to The Stolen Moment; but who else did you interact with back then? What other changes were you destined to make?”

 

“I'm still a little confused.”

 

“Who else did you speak with? Apart from the group of demons led by a panther and the bandits Hiei was with, who did you speak to?”

 

“I asked a woman for directions, I spoke to Hina because I thought she was Yukina, I saw Hiei's father, but I didn't speak to him, and I spent most of the rest of my time with Hiei. He had very sharp teeth at that age.”

 

Kurama gave a small smile.

 

“Yes, well, from what I hear, Hiei was a mid-level A-class demon by the time he was five years old,” he said. “Which is perhaps why your wounds were so severe. The Hiei you met 99 years ago was arguably stronger than the Hiei who stole the shadow sword.”

 

“Really?” Botan echoed. “But… Why did he get weaker?”

 

“The operation he endured to have the jagan eye implanted drained all of his power,” Kurama explained.

 

“Why would he do that?”

 

Kurama's face changed slightly before he covered it with another small smile

 

“And apparently young Hiei had a weak bladder, also?” he asked.

 

“Yes, unfortunately he kind of… Wet himself on me,” Botan flatly replied. “Which was actually about the nicest thing he did to me. He was so determined to kill me.”

 

“His memory of the events are that he did kill you,” Kurama replied. “He doesn't remember too much about the whole affair, but he thinks that he killed you with one blast.”

 

“He almost did. I thought that he had! I think I was sent back to this time at the exact moment he blasted me, though I didn't realise that at the time. I thought that I'd thrown him off my oar to avoid the attack. I thought I'd thrown him to his death.”

 

“Which is why you were so distraught when you returned to the present day - you were looking for the Hiei you had left behind in time.”

 

Botan dared to smile.

 

“So I didn't kill him?” she asked.

 

“It would take more than a fall to kill Hiei,” Kurama flatly replied.

 

Botan sighed deeply.

 

“Oh thank heavens!” she gushed. “But where is he?”

 

“He's asleep,” Kurama replied. “He needs to recover his energy.”

 

“His energy? He unleashed the dragon? But why? What happened?”

 

“He didn't unleash the dragon, he transferred a significant amount of his energy to you.”

 

Botan's eyes grew wide.

 

“Perhaps while you are recovering, you will take the time to consider what recent events have taught you, and when you are a little better, you can act as you see fit.”

 

Botan was unsure what Kurama meant, but she decided that he was probably telling her that she ought to confess the full details of her indiscretion with The Stolen Moment to Koenma.

 

“I shall grant you a favour,” he continued. “I will not repeat a word of what you have told me in here, nor will I share any of my theories on your activities with anyone else. I think it would do more harm than good if everyone else was aware of what you did.”

 

“You… Thank you, Kurama. But I don't understand why you would cover up my stupid mistakes like that.”

 

“I said I would grant you a favour. This means that I expect you to grant me a favour in return.”

 

“Oh, I see. What do you want?”

 

“I haven't decided yet. I'll let you know when I have.”

 

Botan paled as Kurama turned from her and started towards the door, the back of his head seeming every bit as frightening as his eyes had when he had spoken his last words.

 

“You should rest for now and heal yourself,” he advised as he slid open the door. “We shall talk again once you are recovered.”

 

Kurama stepped out of the room and slid the door shut behind himself, leaving Botan once more terrified: what sort of favour was Kurama going to ask for in return for the staggeringly enormous one he was going to do for her?

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

Botan awoke early the next morning, the sky still dull outside the window at her side. She was not in the same room she had shared with Yukina, but she did not mind. Although it was very early, she was wide awake and she felt oddly energetic. She looked about herself, gasping as she located Yukina and Kuwabara asleep on the floor a few feet from her bedside. She slowly sat up, relieved to find that doing so did not cause her any pain, and she leaned forwards to get a better look at the sight on the ground.

 

Yukina was on her side in a foetal position, one hand clutching one corner of Botan's sheets, her body facing Botan. Kuwabara was lying about a foot behind her on his back, his arms and legs sprawled across most of the rest of the floor in the room, his mouth hanging wide open, soft snores escaping his throat.

 

“Well isn't that almost cute?” Botan muttered, pushing back her sheets.

 

She carefully got up to her feet and leapt off of the bed, landing by the doorway. She checked over her shoulder to see that she had not woken either of her friends before quietly sliding open the door and sneaking out into the hall.

 

Botan quickly and quietly found her way to the nearest bathroom, where she positioned herself in front of a mirror and began checking her wounds. She still had some faint marks around her wrist and her face where the worst of Hiei's bites had been, but the one she had healed on her stomach and the one on her leg had vanished entirely. She felt almost hyperactive and she briefly wondered if it was a side effect of having some of Hiei's life energy in her: but she quickly dismissed the idea as ridiculous.

 

She wondered who had cleaned her, changed her clothes and dressed her wounds: and how she had got back to Genkai's temple from demon world. But, she told herself, she could ask the others about the finer details when they all woke up. Her reflection showed her looking a little wild, her hair completely loose and falling down over her shoulders in bed-ruffled waves, her eyes gleaming with the energy she was suddenly brimming with.

 

“I know!” she whispered, darting out of the room.

 

Botan ran towards the front door, summoning her oar as she went. A nice fly in the dawn air would be refreshing and ought to help her work off that excess energy. And, she thought cheerfully, the very fact that she had managed to materialise her oar meant that her life energy was back to normal and her spirit energy was almost entirely restored too. As soon as she was out of the door Botan swung her oar under her legs and started off towards the temple steps, rising at a shallow angle.

 

“Hey!”

 

Botan almost fell off her oar at the sound of a voice yelling at her, managing to bring herself to a steady hover above the gate, looking down the seemingly never-ending steps that connected Genkai's temple to the outside world. She looked about the steps themselves before turning around, shortly locating a sole figure standing by the edge of the forest to one side of the gate, looking up at her intensely.

 

“Hiei,” Botan breathed, sliding forwards and lowering herself to the ground in front of him.

 

As her feet touched the ground Botan began to frown. Hiei looked awful: he was sweating, his eyes were wide, his teeth were bared and tightly clenched together, his fists were balled at his sides and, most worrying of all, he was clearly shaking all over.

 

“Hiei?” she asked, taking a step towards him.

 

He snarled like an animal and turned his head to one side. His face twitched slightly before he spat over his shoulder.

 

“Hn, so it seems that even angels sin sometimes,” he ground out.

 

“What?” Botan echoed.

 

Hiei shoved a hand down his vest, roughly removing a newspaper. He flung it at Botan, reminding her of the farmer from the past. She caught it awkwardly, opening it out to study the front page.

 

“More alien sightings at famous alien hotspot,” she read aloud.

 

She frowned, noticing that the so-called “alien hotspot” was in fact the farm The Stolen Moment had been hidden in, the picture apparently taken before she and Kuwabara had gone there, since the hole they had dug was not present. Looking further down the page she saw a crude, pencil-drawn caricature of Hiei. She had seen a similar image of him before in newspapers around the common portals to demon world, and she failed to see why it was more significant this time around.

 

“Turn the page,” Hiei spat.

 

“Okay dokay,” Botan said, turning the page.

 

She mewed in alarm, her jaw dropping. The next page contained a story about previous “alien sightings” which dated back to a significant sighting on February 13th 99 years earlier: and an artists' impression of that sighting showed a girl with a high ponytail, wearing a velour tracksuit and trainers and pulling a cat face.

 

“This isn't what it looks like…” she said slowly, lowering the newspaper to look at Hiei.

 

“Don't lie to me!” he snapped, pointing a finger at her and turning to glare at her directly. “I know what that is! You spirit world bastards knew The Stolen Moment was there all this time, because you buried it there 99 years ago, and there is the proof!”

 

“…What?”

 

“99 years ago, Koenma gave you that device and told you to hide it. He trusted you to hide it because you're too stupid to actually use it, and all this time we were wasting running around looking for rebels and the device, you knew exactly where it was!”

 

Deep down, Botan was unbelievably relieved that Hiei had not understood the real reason why she had been sighted in that location 99 years ago, but she hid that as best she could, since his accusation was easier to bear that the truth of the matter.

 

“And he trusted you to destroy it, too,” Hiei continued. “You went in there blindly and tried to destroy it, and it almost wiped you out of existence! You stupid, stupid woman! Why did you go there alone?”

 

“I didn't go there alone!” Botan quickly replied, smiling gently. “I had Kuwabara with me.”

 

“That idiot was no help to you,” Hiei argued. “And he proved that when he let you get hurt and then did nothing to try to find you!”

 

“Hiei, that's a little harsh-”

 

“A little harsh? You could have been obliterated out of existence, do you even understand what that would have meant?”

 

Botan shook her head and shrugged her shoulders, and Hiei spun around, punching a fist into a tree. The bark shattered under his blow and the trunk cracked and bent, the length of the tree leaning towards them a little and casting them into shadow.

 

“You stupid, stupid, stupid woman!” Hiei growled.

 

“I'm sorry, Hiei,” Botan apologised.

 

“You just… You never think! About anything! It's infuriating!”

 

“I said I was sorry!”

 

“I left the border patrol and put myself at risk to join this pointless mission! I risked my own reputation in demon world for this!”

 

“I am truly sorry, Hiei. But you are free to go back to demon world now, and if you like, I will make sure that the next time Lord Koenma has a need for your assistance he does not bother you.”

 

“Stop saying such stupid things!”

 

Botan tensed as Hiei's voice echoed around the trees, his eyes positively glowing through the dusky light around them.

 

“You shouldn't promise such things, you idiot!” he added in a lower, quieter voice. “You don't have the authority to make promises like that. I wonder why you do.”

 

Botan pulled a face at him.

 

“You've never complained about me defying Lord Koenma's rulings before when it has suited you,” she reminded him. “I was responsible for you being freed from probation after you stole the shadow sword, if you remember. And something you may not know: it's only because of me that you were allowed out of prison to accompany Yusuke, Kurama and Kuwabara in the fight against the Four Saint Beasts! I was the one who convinced Lord Koenma that you had behaved well during your imprisonment. I was the one who had your sentence lessened to containment in the living world. If it wasn't for me, you would still be sitting in a cell in spirit world!”

 

“That only proves my point!” Hiei shot back. “I don't need your pity, ferry girl! And you don't need to put yourself in danger like that!”

 

“Well, there's gratitude…” Botan grumbled, crossing her arms over her chest moodily.

 

Hiei cursed at her and turned his head from her again. She sighed, blowing the air upwards at the stray strands of blue that had fallen over her eyes. This was not going well at all, she thought miserably. Hiei was still the same aggressive, ungrateful and unloving little demon that he always had been, and her attempts to give him the most wonderful Valentine's Day present had failed: great.

 

Still, she thought, at least he was not chewing his way through her stomach in this time period. The thought brought a smile to Botan's face, and she let out a small giggle, immediately attracting Hiei's attention. His head turned with the swiftness and accuracy of a sniper taking aim, his deep red eyes glaring at her with an air of increasing frustration.

 

“You just never stop smiling, do you?” he sneered.

 

“Oh Hiei!” she sighed, rolling her eyes. “We have a choice: be happy, or be sad and moody and fester in our own misery. I choose to be happy, and you don't understand that because you always choose to… Well, I'm sure you know the rest…”

 

“Hn.”

 

Botan turned her head to look back at the temple, all thoughts of going for a fly gone from her mind. She was not at all tired, but she was starting to find the idea of going back inside and enjoying a very long and very hot bath before the others starting waking up and demanding time in the bathroom very appealing.

 

“I was…”

 

Botan slowly turned her head back, finding that Hiei had crept closer to her. His expression had changed, but he was still shaking and his fists were still clenched too tightly at his sides. He opened his mouth as though to continue, but then turned his head to one side, looking away from the temple. Botan studied his profile curiously, watching almost transfixed as a bead of sweat formed just below his bandana by his ear and slowly trickled down his skin: his perfect and beautiful skin that he had so obviously inherited from his mother.

 

His stubborn, cold and snippy mother, who had risked the wrath of her own kind to give birth to him in the name of love.

 

Without her realising, her left hand acted on some unknown order from her subconscious and reached up to brush the backs of her fingers against the side of Hiei's face to wipe away the sweat there. As her fingers made contact she gasped quietly and his eyes shifted to lock onto hers. She tried to smile but struggled to make it a confident look, her fingers slipping down the side of his face. As her knuckles reached his jaw his hand shot up and caught hers, holding it in place.

 

Slowly, Hiei turned his head towards Botan, keeping his eyes on hers. He reached up his other hand, taking her hand in both of his. Botan's eyes flicked between Hiei's hands on hers and his staring eyes, her breath coming in shorter gasps as that bubbling feeling rushed up through her chest. He pressed his thumbs into the palm of her hand and slowly dragged outwards, opening out her hand in front of his face. Keeping his eyes on hers, he dipped his chin and lifting her hand towards his mouth, touching his lips to the tender skin on the palm of her hand just below her thumb.

 

Botan was stunned. Less than a minute before he had been yelling at her and calling her names, and now he was kissing her hand? And, she thought as the prickling sensation flooded her chest, he was kissing it very tenderly. It made no sense, but then she was beginning to realise that a lot of things about Hiei did not make sense to her, and in this instance she was not about to argue, because this was exactly what she had wanted.

 

Hiei began to pull her hand with one hand of his, his other hand sliding down her arm, pushing up the sleeve of her pyjama top with it, baring her arm. She took an awkward step towards him as he firmly pulled her hand, trailing kisses down her wrist and along the underside of her forearm as she neared him. She was forced to take another step closer, her other hand flying up and grabbing at his shoulder to steady herself. Hiei's lips left her arm then and he pulled her arm over his shoulder, reaching up his other hand to her neck, sliding his fingers under her hair and around the back of her neck. He stepped forwards and buried his face into her shoulder.

 

As Hiei released her arm behind his back, Botan curled her arm around and rested her hand on his back, frowning a little as she felt that he was still shaking. She wondered if he was still a little weakened from giving her some of his life energy, but the thought did not linger long as she felt the warmth of his lips against her collarbone and all logic left her mind, the tingling sensations of his touches taking over all of her senses. His hands had moved to the small of her back, and her eyes widened a little as she felt his quivering fingers gathering up the hem of her pyjama top, exposing a thin line of skin on her back to the open air.

 

Botan drew in a shuddering breath as Hiei's hot hands slid under her top and pressed against her bare skin, whilst he tilted his chin upwards a little, kissing his way up the side of her neck. She squirmed a little in his hold, partly because she was feeling light-headed and as though her knees would buckle at any moment and partly because she was a little nervous to be so exposed. Hiei slid one hand up the middle of her back until it rested between her shoulderblades and his other hand felt its way under the waistband of her pyjama bottoms, his hand smoothing over the curve of her hip.

 

“H-Hiei,” she gasped, gripping her fingers into his shirt and shoulder.

 

He lifted his head from her neck at the sound of his name, leaning his head back to look up at her. His face was strangely neutral but his eyes looked unusually large and docile.

 

“I…” Botan began.

 

She was not even sure what she had wanted to say to him, and when words failed her she did the only other thing that seemed appropriate: she brought her lips down to his. Her gesture was a little loose and Hiei took advantage, immediately slipping his tongue into her mouth. She shied away at first, but he merely gripped his fingers into her skin and pulled her into a tighter embrace, pushing his mouth against hers and sealing his lips over hers. She let out a small, high-pitched moan and he responded with a low-pitched moan of his own that sent a shiver down her spine and made her legs go weak again. He was dominating the strength and direction of their kiss but it was not unpleasant as his previous moves on her had been, and she even dared to kiss him back with small, unsure gestures of her lips and tongue.

 

A gust of wind rose from behind Botan, blasting her hair forwards and over her face, and for a moment she thought she might lose her balance: but Hiei held her as tightly in place as ever. But when the wind reversed directions, pulling her hair back out behind her and blowing wisps of Hiei's hair against her nose, something began to seem amiss. Again the wind reversed direction and blasted her from behind, and Botan heard a noise that brought her out of her shared moment with Hiei as sharply as though someone had thrown a bucket-load of ice water over her to awaken her from a pleasant dream.

 

On instinct, Botan desperately shoved Hiei back, one hand on his shoulder the other somehow on his throat. He released her a little reluctantly, his hands momentarily stuck in her clothing, causing her to stumble from him awkwardly. As soon as she was free she turned from him, looking up into the sky towards the source of the sound that had cut into her thoughts so sharply, gasping and backing into the shelter of the trees at what she saw. From the corner of her eye she could see Hiei glowering at her, but she was far more concerned with the large shadow lowering down towards them.

 

Botan yelped as Puu landed on the ground in front of them his head raised and his wings spread. She desperately pushed her hair back from her face to stop it obscuring her vision as her eyes flicked about the giant bird, searching for any traces of anyone on his back. When he eventually lowered his long neck and tucked back his wings she sighed in relief, slapping a hand against her chest and smiling to herself.

 

“What's the matter, are you ashamed to be seen with me?”

 

Botan slowly turned her head from Puu to Hiei, the look on his face sending her heart into her throat: he looked ready to kill. He had stopped shaking and his face had taken on a darkness that seemed to be radiating off of him in waves.

 

“…What?” she asked.

 

“If you don't like it, why do you keep asking for it?” he growled.

 

“I don't understand,” she said, shaking her head. “I don't know what you-”

 

“Don't try to hide behind your silly little ferry girl façade,” he cut her off. “You know damn well what I'm talking about. You were all over me a minute ago, but the second you thought somebody might see us like that you couldn't get away from me quickly enough.”

 

Botan paused, guilt washing over her. That was true, she thought, she had pushed him away because she had feared that Yusuke might be with Puu, and she had not wanted him to see her kissing Hiei.

 

“Not exactly befitting of the all-forgiving, all-loving angel you're supposed to be,” Hiei said quietly.

 

“Hiei, I didn't mean it like that at all!” Botan gasped. “Please, you've misunderstood!”

 

“Do you think that I would want anyone else to know that I desire you?”

 

Botan paused again, her face growing hot upon hearing Hiei saying the words “I desire you”; this was becoming so confusing, she was scared to say anything else.

 

“Hn, well at least we can agree on something,” he continued. “Though probably here and now is not ideal anyway.”

 

Botan opened her mouth and reached out a hand as Hiei took off, though she did wonder why she had bothered, since he was long out of sight by the time she had called out his name. She sighed and let her arm fall to her side, turning her head to look up at Puu, who was casually preening his wings.

 

“I don't even know what that last part meant, Puu,” she said. “What's a girl like me to do? Hiei is impossible to figure out. I always tell people what I'm thinking and how I'm feeling, and even if I didn't, he can read my mind! It's terribly unfair!”

 

Puu stared down at Botan blankly, and she found her smile again.

 

“Don't worry about me, Puu!” she said brightly. “I might be struggling now, but I never run out of ideas in a tough situation! I'll definitely think of something before today is over!”

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

“I haven't thought of anything, and half the day is over already,” Botan moaned, pushing her finger down onto the ribbons in front of her.

 

“What?” Keiko asked, tying the ribbons over Botan's finger.

 

“Oh, nothing!” Botan lied, forcing a smile.

 

“You're weird Botan, you know that?” Keiko asked. “You can move your finger now.”

 

Botan retrieved her finger and watched Keiko tighten the bow she had created.

 

“There,” she said, picking up the box with a satisfied grin. “I can't wait to give this to Yusuke!”

 

Her grin slowly faded and her hands lowered the box to her lap.

 

“So that he can forget to give me something back next month,” she grumbled.

 

“Oh don't worry Keiko,” Yukina said, kneeling down beside her. “I'm sure Yusuke won't forget this time!”

 

“I'm pretty sure he will, actually,” Keiko replied. “But that's just Yusuke for you. Did you wrap up your present for Kuwabara?”

 

“Oh yes, Botan helped me!” Yukina replied.

 

“Yeah, Botan's been really helpful today,” Keiko said, turning to Botan with a sly look. “So I guess now we ought to help her.”

 

Botan lifted her eyes from the ground, giving Keiko a questioning look.

 

“Don't tell me you forget to get your boyfriend a present this year, Botan,” Keiko said, grinning menacingly. “Maybe you've been spending too much time with Yusuke, forgetting such an important thing like that.”

 

“Oh Botan!” Yukina said with a sweet smile. “I didn't know you had a special friend!”

 

“A special friend?” Botan echoed.

 

In her mind she saw herself telling Hiei that he was her “special friend”, and him swinging his sword through her middle, slicing her body clean in half. She laughed nervously and waved a hand in the air.

 

“Oh no, not me!” she said awkwardly. “I don't have a special friend, not at all!”

 

“Are you sure about that, Botan?” Keiko pressed.

 

“Absolutely I am, yes,” Botan replied, feeling oddly deflated when she admitted as much.

 

Keiko shrugged her shoulders, the menacing look fading from her face.

 

“Oh well,” she said. “Come on Yukina, let's go have lunch and give the boys our gifts.”

 

Botan sighed in relief and then grinned nervously again when both Keiko and Yukina glared at her curiously.

 

“Come on Yukina,” Keiko muttered, opening the door.

 

The two girls walked out and Botan slowly trailed after them, inwardly relieved that she had avoided discussing her lack of preparations for Valentine's Day. Which, she thought, was actually sickeningly ironic: she had almost died to get Hiei the perfect present, and he would never know, because in the end, she had not actually got him anything other than a few vague memories of a crazy woman who had tried to kidnap him in his infancy.

 

Botan groaned but again forced a smile as Yukina looked back at her with a concerned frown.

 

“Oh look, everybody's here!” she said cheerfully as they entered the sitting room, where the boys were waiting for them.

 

Botan hung back by the doorway, suppressing the slight bitterness that threatened when she considered that here she was, yet again, on Valentine's Day, with nothing to give and no-one to give it to. Keiko presented her gift to Yusuke, who was happy until he saw that it was not alcohol or edible, whereupon they began an argument. Yukina tried several times to pass her present to Kuwabara, who simply turned redder each time and told her that her presence at his side was enough of a gift to him that day. Botan was pleased for them all, and watching them did warm her heart, but when Kurama came through the doorway and paused at her side, she was glad of the distraction.

 

“Oh, Kurama!” she said, smiling at the pink, heart-shaped box in his hand. “I didn't know you had a special lady in your life!”

 

“Nor did I,” Kurama flatly replied, tossing the box towards an armchair.

 

Botan's face twisted as she watched the box land on top of a pile of similar, unopened packages and cards.

 

“What's all that?” she asked.

 

“My classes on plant psychology and flowering plants are comprised predominantly of females,” Kurama replied, sounding slightly bored. “Apparently some of them see me as rather more than a classmate.”

 

Botan glared at the pile of boxes in disbelief.

 

“But…” she began. “How did they even know to send them here? Nobody knows that you're here!”

 

Kurama gave a small shrug.

 

“Did those girls follow you here?” Botan asked. “But even that's ridiculous, this place is so remote and inaccessible!”

 

“Well if it makes you feel any better Botan, you are not the only one here today having difficulty with these festivities,” Kurama said, a hint of a smile on his face.

 

Botan looked up at him, rubbing her chin thoughtfully as she tried to decipher what he had actually meant.

 

“Goodness knows it was hard enough trying to explain the concept of gift giving at Christmas,” he continued. “I'm not going to even attempt to explain this sort of tradition to Hiei.”

 

“Hiei?” Botan echoed, her voice coming out about three times as loud as she had meant it to.

 

“What?” Kuwabara yelped, his attention leaving Yukina for the first time since she had entered the room. “Where?”

 

Yusuke gave a short, dark chuckle.

 

“What's the matter, Botan?” he asked. “Is Hiei sulking with you because you forgot to get him a present?”

 

Botan started to tell Yusuke off, but Keiko was soon shouting louder at him and he was far more intimidated by an angry Keiko than an angry Botan, so Botan left them to it.

 

“I didn't forget anyway,” she grumbled to herself.

 

“Of course not,” Kurama said quietly.

 

Botan's head snapped around and she stared at him in wide-eyed horror, her face slowly turning red.

 

“I know what lengths you went to for Hiei,” he continued, his voice too low for the others to hear him, but his words only too clear to Botan, standing at his side.

 

“But…” she whispered. “I didn't do anything at all. I don't think…”

 

“On the contrary,” Kurama replied. “Surprisingly you did do one quite significant thing.”

 

“I did?” Botan asked. “Really?”

 

“Yes. After probing Hiei a little more on the matter, it seems that you were the one responsible for giving him the name Hiei.”

 

Botan pulled a sceptical face at him, but as she considered his words, they began to make more sense than she had thought possible.

 

“Yes, his mother said that she had not named him, and neither had those bandits he was with,” she muttered, mostly thinking aloud. “Well, those bandits had named him, but it was not a name to be proud of… But it doesn't make any sense. I told them his name was Hiei, but I only did that because I already knew that his name was Hiei… Which I only already knew because I had already named him that… My head hurts!”

 

Kurama chuckled quietly.

 

“Yes, as logic goes, a time paradox is one of the most complex,” he mused.

 

“So I named him Hiei,” Botan said, smiling to herself. “That's so interesting! If only I had known that before I went back. I could have named him anything I wanted to! I could have named him Kurama! Or Shuichi! Or Yusuke! Or Kazuma! Or Muneshige! Or Jinnosuke! Or Bob!”

 

Kurama turned suddenly, a strand of his flowing red hair whipping over Botan's face.

 

“What?” he asked, his eyebrows twisting.

 

“Well obviously I know that I couldn't have changed history,” she said, failing to understand why he was looking at her as though she had just sprouted a second head. “Because if I did, it would have already happened. There you see! I do understand all this time travel paradoxical stuff!”

 

Kurama nodded slowly.

 

“You're very strange, Botan,” he concluded.

 

Botan was unsure if she should be flattered or offended, and as she turned from Kurama and once more saw his ridiculous pile of unopened gifts, she remembered why she had been so miserable before he had arrived. She needed another distraction, she decided; and apparently her luck was turning around, because one arrived mere seconds later. And this distraction was so distracting, it distracted the entire room.

 

“This is for you,” a voice said harshly.

 

The others all stared in shock as Hiei appeared standing in-between Botan and Kurama, a bunch of red roses in one hand. He was looking at the floor and he looked more than a little flustered. The awkward silence dragged on longer than anyone in the room could stand until finally Hiei gave a short growl and thrust the flowers out to one side.

 

“Take them!” he snapped.

 

Kurama opened his mouth as though he was about to say something, but remained silent, closing one hand around the bunch of roses Hiei had pushed towards him.

 

“Wow, I never knew that you guys were…” Kuwabara muttered. “What about-ow!”

 

Kuwabara clapped his hands over his head, glaring up at Keiko, whose fist was still in the air just beyond where it had made contact with the back of his head.

 

“I'm not your delivery service, fox!” Hiei snapped.

 

Kurama let out a sigh, but said nothing else.

 

“She seemed to know my name,” Hiei added, narrowing his eyes as he glared up at Kurama. “I wouldn't normally humour this sort of madness, but she literally attached herself to me and this was the quickest and easiest way to rid myself of her.”

 

“These are from Sayori, a girl from one of my classes,” Kurama said, sounding a little too relieved. “I think you've met her a few times, Hiei.”

 

“I wouldn't know about that,” Hiei moodily replied. “And I don't like this all of this nonsense,” he added, waving a hand at Kurama's mountain of gifts.

 

“Don't they have Valentine's Day in demon world?” Kuwabara asked.

 

“If that means do we have a day where females attempt to bind males into some sort of emotional contract by the giving of needless trinkets and showy flowers then the answer is no!” Hiei replied.

 

“Well if you hate this so much, why don't you go “back to the darkness”?” Kuwabara returned, sounding almost as sarcastic as Hiei had.

 

“I intend to go back very soon,” Hiei replied.

 

Kuwabara arched his eyebrows expectantly, but Hiei said no more.

 

Hiei also made no attempt to leave.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

Next Chapter: Botan finally manages to get a gift for Hiei, who does not appreciate or understand her gesture: but after Kurama explains the significance of her gift, Hiei has something surprising to say to Botan. Chapter 16: The Proposal.