Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction ❯ My Downfall ❯ The Downfall ( Chapter 17 )

A/N: I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho or any of the characters herein, they are all the property of Yoshihiro Togashi (except Izumi - gah, I was hoping to avoid OCs, but this one is necessary. Minor role only, I promise!)

 

This chapter is not for the faint of heart, it is a tad jarring. Feel free to hate me once you've read it through.

 

Recap: Botan gave Hiei a (stupid, let's be honest) Valentine's Day gift, which, after much explanation from Kurama, he finally understood the significance of, and then decided to show Botan his gratitude in the only way he knew how…

 

BREAKBREAKBREAK

 

Chapter 17: The Downfall

 

And when faced with temptation,

You know a man should stand and fight

But you will be my downfall tonight

 

Be my downfall

Be my great regret

Be the one girl

That I'll never forget

Be my undoing

Be my slow road to ruin

Tonight

(Be My Downfall, Del Amitri)

 

“I am going to lead you down the slow road to your ruin,” Hiei said, standing up.

 

Botan let him pull her to her feet, inwardly thinking that his last few words had not sounded quite so romantic as his earlier statements had.

 

“Hn,” he continued, his smile widening again but becoming no less sinister. “You may remember me as your best kept secret and your biggest mistake, but tonight, ferry girl, you will be my downfall.”

 

“…What?” Botan asked, searching his eyes for any clue to his true meaning, which, frankly, was lost on her.

 

“This is what you wanted, isn't it?” he asked. “This is what you've been asking for ever since you came to demon world looking for me that first night of this pointless mission.”

 

Botan shook her head, feeling increasingly confused and more than a little afraid: and, inexplicably, still a little excited and thrilled by the feeling of him holding her hand.

 

“You've been playing coy for long enough, woman,” Hiei said, his voice suddenly lower and his eyes darkened over a little. “You blatantly made an advance on me today, you can drop the act now.”

 

Botan tried to pull her hand from his but he tightened his grip and tugged her arm forwards. She stumbled, tripping over the window-frame, staring down at Yukina in blind panic as one of her feet came down towards the middle of the glass. She bit back a cry of alarm as her body was suddenly yanked clear of the window, spinning around in the air until she was looking at an upside-down view of the roof and land beyond. She wriggled a little and felt something clamping around the backs of her knees, then realising that Hiei had somehow managed to throw her over his shoulder.

 

“What are you doing?” she gasped, being mindful to keep her voice quiet to avoid waking Yukina.

 

“Something I should have done a long time ago,” Hiei replied.

 

“I don't understand!” Botan wailed.

 

“Oh, you'll understand plenty soon enough.”

 

Botan was unable to hold in a scream as he took off running with her, though she was sure that in the time that it took for her to draw a breath and start her cry she was already too far away for Yukina to have heard her anyway. And by the time she had finished her cry Hiei had stopped. He leaned forwards and dropped her a little unceremoniously onto the ground, standing over her and grinning down at her, his eyes and teeth almost glowing in the low light levels.

 

“Hiei?” Botan said weakly, looking about herself. “What… Where…?”

 

For reasons she would probably never understand, Hiei had taken her to the beach by the edge of Genkai's land. With the setting sun in the distance and the lapping waves of the water it ought to have been romantic, but Botan's memories of that beach involved Hiei tripping her up and kissing her roughly in order to take back his hiruiseki from her. She pushed herself up onto her elbows as she finished her survey of her surroundings, her eyes landing back on Hiei at the exact moment that he tossed aside his coat and scarf. He dropped to his knees by her feet and she instinctively shuffled back a little, her legs bending and her heels digging into the sand as she tried to put some distance between them. He merely made an amused “hn” at her actions, grabbing a hand around each of her ankles and tugging sharply towards himself. She let out a short scream of shock as her body slid effortlessly forwards over the sand, only stopping when the underside of her thighs collided with Hiei's knees.

 

“Hiei,” she said again. “This is very… Open.”

 

He ignored her words, his hands sliding from her ankles up her legs.

 

“I just…” she tried again. “I'm not sure I… I mean I…”

 

His hands moved past her knees and began travelling up her thighs.

 

“I should have…” she said. “I mean I didn't… I…”

 

His hands smoothed around the curve of her hips, his fingers tangling into her sweater and pushing it up. She gasped as his warm hands came into contact with her skin at her sides, continuing their journey upwards until her armpits stopped his actions. He had bunched the material of her sweater up enough to expose her midriff to the cold night air, something she was not entirely sure she was happy with.

 

“I think we should-oh God!”

 

Botan groaned out the last part as Hiei leaned forwards and kissed her just above her navel. She was completely immobilised by the rush in her chest that left her breathless. He began kissing his way up her body and she suddenly found her hands in his hair, acting on some sort of will of their own.

 

“Lift your arms,” he grunted into her abdomen.

 

“What?” she asked, frowning down at him.

 

“Lift your arms,” he said again, lifting his head to look directly at her.

 

She continued to look at him curiously and he took on a slightly impatient look, grabbing his hands into her sweater and pushing it upwards. She screamed and grabbed his wrists, shaking her head.

 

“You can't do that!” she gasped, looking about herself in fear. “If you take my sweater off you'll…”

 

“Yes?” he pressed, his face darkening further.

 

“You'll see my underwear!” she hissed.

 

“That would be the point of taking off your clothes,” he bluntly replied, pulling her up a little by her sweater.

 

Botan made to protest, but Hiei somehow managed to pull her sweater up over her head. Once the material had passed over her eyes she glared at him in disbelief at his blatant disregard to her earlier protest, but he merely grinned at her, pushing the material up until it was fully clear of her body and upper arms. He then lowered himself towards her again. She lifted her hands to reach for him, then realising that he had stopped removing her sweater by her elbows, leaving the lower half of her arms and her hands caught up in the material above her head. She squeaked indignantly and struggled a little to free herself, but stopped short as he gripped his hands around her biceps and pinned her arms down, lowering his head to her ear.

 

“I always knew I'd have to torture you one day for that big mouth of yours,” he growled into her ear. “I just didn't know whether you'd be screaming with pain or pleasure. Lucky for you it looks like it will be the latter.”

 

As far from romantic as his words were, Botan closed her eyes and let herself melt into the sound of his voice and the feeling of his breath on her skin. She barely cared what he said any more, she just knew that she did not want him to stop what he was doing: though she did wish that he had taken her somewhere a little more secluded and ideally indoors.

 

But again she forgot all about his unusual choices as he dragged his hands down her arms and over the curve of her breasts. Her hands were still tangled in her sweater but she did not even care any more. She arched her back, pushing her chest into the warmth of his hands, which slid all the way down to the waistband of her jeans, his fingers curling around her clothing and fumbling with the fastenings. He grunted a small noise of impatience and Botan's eyes opened, the worry that he might tear her clothes apart entering her mind. She tried to free her hands to help him but she was stuck fast, and in a matter of seconds Hiei had solved his problem without her and was easing her jeans down her hips.

 

Botan whimpered slightly in curiosity and mild fear when Hiei lifted up her legs, his intentions not immediately clear. But despite her apprehension she trusted him, and she soon saw his reasoning as he eased her jeans down to her ankles, pulling them over each of her feet, taking her shoes with them. When he lowered her legs down to the sand again, placing one either side of his own, she was sure she could feel every grain of sand, as though something had happened to heighten her sensory awareness. She closed her eyes and pushed her heels into the ground, delighting in the slightly abrasive feeling of the sand moving against her skin.

 

When Botan opened her eyes again, Hiei was kneeled above her and in the process of removing his vest. He flung it in the same general direction he had flung her jeans before leaning over her and pulling her sweater from her arms, freeing them once more. Again he tossed her clothes aside and then he took hold of her upper arms, lifting her into a sitting position in front of him. With her sitting and him on his knees the top of her head was level with his shoulders. He reached his hands around to the back of her head and she hissed, closing her eyes as he tugged at her hair. To her surprise he withdrew his hands for a second before moving them back, his fingers moving more carefully, barely pulling at her hair at all. When he had finished Botan felt her hair falling down around her shoulders, where it sat in rebellious, tousled waves of blue, proof that she had been flying around too much that day.

 

“Touch me.”

 

Botan slowly lifted her eyes to Hiei's at his words, frowning slightly as she looked at him, unsure what exactly he expected of her. He watched her for a moment before reaching down and grabbing a hand around each of her wrists. He brought her hands up to his now bared chest, pressing her hands against himself before letting his own hands drop to his sides. Botan slowly lowered her eyes again, looking at her own hands against his chest, the sight of her hands touching him sending another rush of feeling through her. She pushed her fingertips into his skin experimentally, amazing herself at the firmness of his body. His skin was surprisingly soft, but it was pulled tightly over every swell of muscle. She splayed her fingers apart and pressed her palms against him, releasing a small moan as the unending warmth of his body passed into her skin.

 

Hiei touched one hand to the back of her head, his fingers knitting into her hair. Botan took a deep breath and slid her hands downwards, letting her fingers dance over every detail of his chest and abdomen before sliding her hands around his waist and up his back, moving her head towards his body. She tensed a little before gently placing a kiss over his heart, marvelling at the warmth of his skin against her lips. She took a breath before moving in again, pressing her lips harder against him, closing her eyes and enjoying the feeling of his heartbeat. Giving in completely to her own desires she opened her lips against him and touched her tongue to his skin, a need to taste him driving her to tilt her chin upwards, dragging her tongue over the curve of his pectoral.

 

Botan paused. She could no longer hear or feel Hiei's heartbeat - which, she supposed, was not unreasonable, since a demon's heartbeat was said to be irregular and indeed infrequent - but the sound and sensation had been replaced by something else, something that made no sense. Hiei's entire upper body was quivering in her arms and the noise coming from his lips above her head was starting to make her worry: it was not a noise that she had ever heard Hiei make, nor was it even one that she had ever expected to hear from him.

 

He was laughing.

 

Botan slowly pulled back from Hiei, looking up at him with wide eyes of worry and confusion. His eyes were closed and his head was thrown back, and he was, undeniably, laughing. In fact, he was laughing louder and harder with every passing second, his body juddering in her arms from the force of his amusement.

 

“Hiei?” she said softly.

 

He opened his eyes and looked down at her, his laughter stopping but the manic grin that had accompanied it remaining plastered across his face.

 

“You act so angelic and unaffected, but the truth of the matter is, you want this just as badly as I do,” he said.

 

Botan's frown deepened and Hiei's grin widened.

 

“Even now you're too afraid to admit it,” he said. “I don't even need to use my jagan to know that you've thought about this every bit as much as I have.”

 

Botan opened her mouth to ask him exactly what he meant but before she could talk he pressed a thumb against her lips, curling his fingers under her chin and lifting her head up to look her fully in the eye.

 

“You don't have to say a word,” he said, pausing to let out another short bark of laughter. “I can see it in your eyes, I can feel it in your touch and I can smell it radiating off of you. But don't worry, I'm going to give it to you tonight.”

 

Botan cried out as he put his hands onto her shoulders and shoved her roughly back into the sand. He dropped himself on top of her a little too heavily, almost winding her under his weight, leaving her at war with her own feelings as his words and actions made her mind cautious and hesitant but the feeling of his intensely hot and hard chest pressed against her bare skin left her body hungering for more.

 

“Hn, I don't blame you for being you,” he whispered into her ear, his hands pinning her wrists down at either side of her head as he spoke. “It's all part of being a ferry girl, I suppose. But you can't blame me for despising it. It's so false and superficial.”

 

“What?” Botan whimpered.

 

Hiei lifted his hands from her wrists and he began sliding them between her back and the ground.

 

“For all your silly little ideas about flowers and romance, you want exactly the same thing as me,” he growled, the vibration of his words passing through his chest to hers. “You just want a good hard fuck.”

 

Botan felt something inside of her go cold. Hiei grabbed one hand around the fastening of her bra in the middle of her back, his head still by her ear. He started to laugh again, his body shaking against hers: but the feeling of his skin against hers was no longer a pleasant one for Botan. The buzzing in her chest had sunk, becoming a cold weight in the pit of her stomach. She brought her left hand around, grabbing it tightly into the hair at the back of Hiei's head, being sure to tug it back as suddenly and harshly as she possibly could to get his attention. His laughter stopped in a grunt and he lifted his head to look her in the eye.

 

“What did you just say?” she asked: she had to be sure.

 

He smiled at her, keeping one hand gripped around her bra and bringing the other up to pull her hand from his hair.

 

“You just want a good hard fuck, don't you, woman?” he said.

 

Botan was not sure what hurt the worst: his words or the fact that he had looked her in the eye and smiled as he had spoken them. She let him pull her left hand from his hair because her right hand had found what it had been feeling for while she waited for him to confirm his feelings. Closing her fingers around the splintered piece of stick at her side, Botan brought her hand up and around sharply, driving the sharp end into Hiei's forehead. She used enough force to pierce through his bandana, and the cross-eyed look of agony on his face followed shortly by the yell that erupted from his throat told her she had achieved the desired results.

 

Botan quickly pushed Hiei off of her in his moment of pained confusion and scrambled to her feet, running towards her jeans. She managed two steps before Hiei grabbed one of her ankles, almost pulling her off of her feet.

 

“Where do you think you're going?” he demanded.

 

He sounded seriously irate. She was too frightened to even look back at him.

 

“Let me go!” she cried, tugging at her leg.

 

Of course her efforts were futile, since his strength was ridiculously beyond her own.

 

“You don't think you can just do something like that and get away with it, do you?” he snarled.

 

“Let me go, you bastard!”

 

Hiei's hand opened and Botan stumbled forwards, landing on her hands and knees. She hurriedly flipped over and scrambled back, glaring over at Hiei. As their eyes met, Botan could not be sure which of them seemed more confused. She was frankly shocked that he had released her, but he looked absolutely horrified; which was quite something considering he had yet to dislodge the stick that she had rammed into his jagan eye, and already she could see blood soaking into the fabric of his bandana. They both stared at each other in confused disbelief for several seconds until finally Botan recovered her senses, pushing herself up to her feet.

 

“I don't understand you,” she spat out bitterly.

 

“At least we agree on one thing,” he grumbled, grabbing the stick and yanking it out of his head.

 

“You see? I don't even understand that!” Botan yelled. “What do you mean when you say we agree on this? Do we agree that you make no sense, or are you saying that you don't understand me?”

 

Hiei glared up at her, his eyes slowly thinning.

 

“Just shut-up and get back down here,” he said quietly. “I'll overlook this,” he added, pointing at the bloody stain on his head, “provided that you get back down here right now.”

 

“Absolutely no way, Hiei,” she said, trying to keep her voice steady despite her mounting anger, fear and hurt. “I don't want to be some little outlet for your… Needs. Maybe you don't have any more respect for me than that, but I do!”

 

“You have self-respect?” he snapped, punching a fist into the sand. “Don't make me laugh! You're the most ridiculous, pointless creature I've ever known!”

 

“I don't believe you… I thought I was in love with you.”

 

“What?”

 

“I know! How ridiculous is that! Hey, guess what, mister emotionless? Looks like we agree on something else: me loving you is a ridiculous idea!”

 

“Damn right it is!”

 

Botan swallowed hard, her chest heaving and her heart racing. Ahead of her Hiei got to his feet, pulling the bandana from his forehead. She winced as she saw that his jagan was tightly shut, blood smeared around one edge of it. He touched his fingers tentatively to the upper lid of his third eye and Botan felt her anger melt. She had not realised that she had used so much force in her attack, and suddenly she realised that she had called Hiei a bastard: she had never spoken that word out loud before, and now she had just used it as an insult against a man who had, in a sense, been born one, making her choice of words doubly spiteful.

 

“Oh goodness…” she whispered.

 

Hiei's eyes snapped onto hers at the sound of her voice.

 

“Oh Hiei, I'm so sorry,” she said, starting towards him. “You just frightened me, I should never have… I can heal that for you-”

 

“Stop,” he cut her off.

 

She obediently stopped a few feet away from him, watching him worriedly.

 

“You've got two choices, woman,” he said quietly. “Either you get back down on the ground, or you get out of my sight, and don't ever let me see you again.”

 

Botan's face slowly contorted as her anger remained dead, her sympathy faded and her fear diminished, leaving only a lasting feeling of deep hurt behind.

 

“I was growing very fond of you,” she said faintly. “I thought I understood you.”

 

“Hn, ridiculous,” he spat. “Only an idiot would “grow fond” of me, and only a fool would still be standing there trying to reason with me. Don't think that I'll go easy on you just because you're a powerless ferry girl.”

 

Botan stopped breathing as she saw Hiei's right hand start to glow, the light from it creating jagged shadows across his face in the increasing levels of darkness around them.

 

“Get back down here or get out of my sight,” he said again. “If you don't make up your mind soon, I will kill you, Botan.”

 

Botan raised one hand, her oar appearing in her hand. She gave one last small shake of her head before hopping onto her oar and flying away from the beach and away from Hiei as fast as she could. On instinct she took herself back to Genkai's temple, only coming to her senses as she neared the front entrance: she could hardly go walking in past Yusuke, Kuwabara and the others in nothing but her underwear, she thought miserably.

 

She hesitated, hovering in the air above the entranceway. She was started to hyperventilate. She looked back over her shoulder, the idea occurring to her that Hiei might be following. Her oar vanished and she fell to the ground hard, though she barely cared. She was numb. She could only think of one thing: she had to get away.

 

She got up and hurried into the temple, sneaking along darkened corridors until she reached the room she had been sharing with Yukina. She then slipped inside and retrieved her trusty pink kimono from the wardrobe there. She hurriedly pulled it on, not bothering to arrange it properly or even to tie her obi correctly before running back out of the room. She kept running until she was outside again, where she gladly took off on her oar again.

 

Within minutes Botan was back in spirit world, flying through an opaque, damson-coloured sky, illuminated by a brilliant green moon that was almost full. As she flew her surroundings blurred and she felt hot tears spilling from her eyes, quickly turning cold as they streaked down her cheeks and were blasted by the air rushing past her. She did not even know why she was crying.

 

She felt stupid. Really, really stupid. She was angry, but only with herself. She had known Hiei well enough: she had known all about his criminal past, his reputation as a thief and a murderer in demon world, she had watched him walk out on his so-called friends in times of need and she had endured countless death threats from him, so really the only excuse for her still believing that he was loveable was that she was stupid. Even when she had gone back in time and met with baby Hiei he had hated her. He had tried to kill her then, and 99 years later, nothing had changed.

 

She had only ever heard Hiei say her name twice, why did the last time he said it have to be under such horrid circumstances and as part of his most serious threat of murder?

 

Botan dragged one long sleeve of her kimono over her face to clear the tracks of her tears, but more shortly followed. It was pointless crying, she told herself. This was just the price she had to pay for being so stupid. She had foolishly been hanging onto a belief that Hiei had a kind heart beneath his rough exterior, and even more ridiculously, she had actually let herself fall in love with him on that flimsy premise. She was sure that anyone could have advised her better: Hiei did not have a kind heart. In fact, Hiei did not have a heart at all. He was heartless, and she was an idiot.

 

Botan could not even remember when she had fallen in love with Hiei, but as she flew through the skies of spirit world that night she knew it better than anything else. She had fallen in love with him, and he had broken her heart in a way she did not think she would ever recover from. She could still see the dark and cold look in his eyes as he told her to get back down on the ground like she was just a meaningless outlet for his physical needs and not a person with a mind, a heart, a soul and feelings.

 

That, she supposed, was the real Hiei, the Hiei she had forgotten about when she had become caught up in the idea that she was in love with him.

 

Botan sobbed openly, covering her face with both sleeves.

 

She wanted to hate him, but all she could think about was that gentle look on his face when he was around Yukina, and how sure she was that he was capable of loving; and that was why she knew that she was not going to be able to forget about him or get over what he had done and said to her.

 

Botan flew around in circles until she had cried herself out. She then tided herself up mid-air, adjusting her clothing and fixing her hair: though it took her two attempts to get her look right, as the first time she tried she noticed that she had inadvertently tied her obi at the front - like a whore did for easy access, she had thought, bringing on another bout of tearful misery as she considered that that was exactly what Hiei thought of her. Once she had hidden all signs of her grief successfully behind neat clothing, hair scraped tightly back and a ludicrously false smile, Botan continued into the temple, nodding and bowing to various ferry girls and ogres as she approached Koenma's office.

 

“Blue!”

 

Botan stopped, barely three steps from the doors to her boss's office.

 

“I've been looking all over for you!”

 

Botan forced her smile to widen before turning around to look down at Izumi, who was looking up at her through a weighty frown of concern.

 

“If you've got a minute, maybe we could talk about your little problem now?” Izumi offered.

 

“Oh that's alright, Izumi!” Botan replied. “It's all been sorted now. Everything is okay dokay again!”

 

Botan almost felt sick as she considered how false she was being; but it was necessary.

 

“What happened?” Izumi asked. “Did you tell him to keep away?”

 

“Oh no, it was all just a misunderstanding, but it's all super-duper now!” Botan said, swinging a fist in the air in false gusto.

 

“Well, if you're sure,” Izumi said. “If not, come and see me.”

 

“Alrighty!”

 

Izumi gave Botan one last critical look before darting off and shortly disappearing amidst the madness of bodies swarming around the hallways. Botan turned back to the doors ahead of her, boldly walking through them and approaching Koenma's desk.

 

“Lord Koenma, Sir,” she said. “I'm ready to go back to my duties as a ferry girl.”

 

“Good, we're really busy here, Botan,” Koenma replied without looking up from his desk. “It always amazes me how many people commit suicide after Valentine's Day.”

 

How ironic, Botan thought to herself.

 

BREAKBREAKBREAK

 

“Hey, stop!”

 

Botan yelped in surprise as her oar halted in mid-air. Turning around she saw a hand grabbed around the shaft just above the blade, the image sickeningly familiar. She quickly lifted her head to the source of the hand, sighing audibly in relief when she saw Ayame's large dark eyes glaring at her.

 

“Lord Koenma wants to see you,” she said.

 

“Me?” Botan asked.

 

“Yes, you,” Ayame replied. “Don't you know what this week is?”

 

Botan touched a finger to one corner of her mouth, rolling her eyes skywards in thought.

 

“Golden week doesn't start until next week,” she concluded. “Lord Koenma needs to check his calendar. This is the 22nd of April, not the 29th.”

 

“I'm not talking about golden week,” Ayame said with a small sigh. “Unfortunately. This week is the start of the preliminaries of the demon world tournament.”

 

Botan tensed a little at hearing the words “demon world”. She had, quite successfully, pushed all matters concerning that place from her mind for the last nine and a half weeks, immersing herself so fully in her work that she did nothing else but work and sleep. She had no idea what anyone else had been doing during that time, since the only person she had spoken to (outside of the souls she had been ferrying) had been George, to whom she had reported to daily to collect her list of tasks.

 

“He actually asked me if I wanted to go with him,” Ayame said, shaking her head in disbelief. “He's really excited about it, and he said you would be too.”

 

Botan's face dropped.

 

“He expects me to go?” she asked.

 

“You don't want to go?” Ayame echoed.

 

“Well…”

 

Of course everyone would expect her to want to go, Botan thought miserably. She could not think of any excuse that would get her out of going, and she believed that even if she had a genuine reason not to go Koenma would still make her go regardless. Botan then realised that Ayame was still staring at her expectantly, and she hurriedly forced a smile and choked out a nervous laugh.

 

“Ah yes!” she said, a little too cheerfully. “Of course I want to go! I'll definitely be there, rooting for… Kurama…”

 

Botan faltered slightly, realising that mentioning even Yusuke's name was likely to get her dirty looks from her fellow ferry girls. She stuttered out another nervous laugh.

 

“Alrighty, well, I'll just get on with this list here, and I'll report to Lord Koenma as soon as I'm done ferrying these souls!” she said.

 

“No,” Ayame said, releasing Botan's oar to snatch her list out of her hand. “I'll take care of these, you go see Lord Koenma. Now.”

 

Botan blanched as Ayame zipped off into the air, leaving her behind with her hands still hovering where her list of tasks had been resting only moments ago. All options taken from her, she gave a sigh of resignation and lowered herself towards the temple entrance, stepping aside as two ogres barged through, arguing with each other over whose paperwork was the most urgent.

 

Botan dragged her feet all the way to Koenma's office doors, where she sighed one last time before forcing an amiable smile onto her face and straightening her back, walking into the office with the air of a happy-go-lucky ferry girl without a care in the world.

 

It was concerning her how increasingly easy she was finding it to lie lately.

 

“Knock, knock!” she said, rapping a fist against Koenma's desk.

 

She straightened again and waited for him to acknowledge her, which seemed to take a lot longer than usual. She cleared her throat loudly, and when that still did not get his attention she knocked on his desk again.

 

“Knock, knock,” she said in louder, flat voice.

 

Again Botan waited, this time growing impatient. Koenma's chair was turned away from her, so she knew that he was not working. She had no idea what he was actually doing, but she was beginning to suspect that it was something that restricted his hearing. She doubted that he would appreciate her leaning over his desk and yanking his chair around to face her, so she diligently walked around to the other side of the desk, pausing beside the chair as she saw what was sat there.

 

“Lord Koenma?” she asked quietly, reaching out a hand towards his slouched form.

 

He looked unconscious, and Botan's heart began to beat harder. His head was lolled forwards, his tall blue hat sitting slightly askew, and his arms were laid loosely across his lap. All sorts of terrible notions began racing through her fragile mind: what if somebody had snuck in earlier and done something terrible to Koenma?

 

“Sir, please, are you alright?”

 

Botan reached a hand out to touch his shoulder, screaming and retracting her hand again as the slightest touch made him fall forwards. He sat doubled over in the chair for barely a second before his entire body slid to the ground. Botan dropped to her knees at his side, too shocked for words. She took a hold of his shoulder to turn him onto his back, but then she realised that his body felt unnaturally soft beneath her grip.

 

Botan lifted her hand into the air, and with little effort, a dummy Lord Koenma came with it. She stared into the plastic face of the replica, her bottom lip quivering slightly and her mind torn between relief, anger and misery.

 

“Surprise!” a voice suddenly yelled above her head.

 

Botan cowered away from the noise, glancing back over her shoulder to see Koenma towering over her in his adult form, grinning obnoxiously.

 

“You see ogre?” he said, turning to George, who had appeared alongside him. “I told you she would fall for it! What a brilliant joke! She really thought it was me!”

 

“You got her good, Sir!” George agreed.

 

“Ha, I'm the king of pranks, too!” Koenma boasted. “An extra cool side of me to go with my extra cool face!”

 

Botan slowly gathered the dummy to her chest, wrapping her arms around it and sinking lower to the ground.

 

“Come along, Botan!” Koenma said, poking at her shoulder with one finger. “Admit you were stupid and laugh at my joke with the rest of us!”

 

Botan drew in a shuddering breath and let out a noise that instantly silenced both Koenma and George, and most of the ogres and ferry girls passing by too. Her head fell forwards and she gladly buried her face into the fake Koenma's hat. Behind her the real Koenma swallowed awkwardly and shot George a dark look.

 

“That was your idea, ogre!” he snapped. “And I told you that it wasn't funny! Now look what you've done! You've frightened the life out of poor Botan! She was so scared that that dummy was me, she's crying now!”

 

“But Sir, I-”

 

“I'll have you punished most severely for this, ogre!”

 

“But Sir!”

 

“No buts about it, ogre!”

 

“No-o!” Botan wailed, lifting her head from the dummy. “I'm not crying, I'm fine, I thought it was really funny too-oo!”

 

Botan continued sobbing loudly, rubbing her face against the dummy, and Koenma and George eyed her warily, each as unsure as the other so to what she had actually meant.

 

“Are you laughing so hard that it's made you cry?” Koenma asked.

 

“Yes,” she choked out between sobs. “It's so fun-ny!”

 

Koenma turned to glare at George again, who shrugged, pulling his most innocent face possible.

 

“Well don't just stand there, you big blue idiot!” Koenma snapped at him. “Go and get the girl some tissues!”

 

“Right away, Sir!” George agreed, before darting out of the office, visibly glad of the excuse to leave.

 

Koenma watched him leave until he was out of sight before kneeling down at Botan's side and putting a hand on her shoulder.

 

“Botan, this is an unexpected reaction from anyone,” he said gently. “But it's especially unexpected from you. You were supposed to laugh or hit me over the head for mocking you. I'm not convinced that you're this upset over a poor joke. In fact, I think you're only crying because the scare this gave you has brought your emotions to the surface. You've been quiet for weeks. Actually, you've not been your usual, cheerful self since that incident with The Stolen Moment.”

 

Botan tightened her grip on the dummy and sniffled, her shoulders tensing as she tried to hold back her tears.

 

“If something terrible happened to you back then and you need time off to recover, that's fine,” Koenma continued. “We all just want our happy, friendly Botan back.”

 

“But nothing's wrong, Sir!” she lied, forcing a smile. “I'm still happy, friendly Botan!”

 

She turned to him and the look on his face alone told her that he was even less convinced by her act than she was.

 

“Botan, just between you and me, you've always been my favourite ferry girl,” he said quietly. “Your energy and your passion makes all of us smile. None of us wants to see you sad, and if there is something bothering you, you must tell me. Maybe I can fix it for you. I am the lord of the underworld, remember. And in this cool body, there's nothing I can't do, right?”

 

Koenma grinned at her with his last remark and she managed a small, genuine smile for the first time in weeks.

 

“See?” he said. “This body is so awesome, one grin on this beautiful face and you've found your smile again!”

 

“I was just thinking how ridiculous you look grinning with a pacifier in your mouth in that body, Sir,” she quietly replied.

 

“And I see you're even getting your insolent sense of humour back, so you can't be feeling too awful,” he grumbled, his smile vanishing as he spoke.

 

“I'm sorry Sir, I don't know what came over me,” she said, shaking her head. “It's all so silly really. I thought somebody had assassinated you. It was a very mean trick to play on a girl, Sir.”

 

“Whilst I'm flattered that you would pretend to be so upset at the death of your boss, I know there's still something more going on here.”

 

Botan stretched the fingers of one hand out from under her long kimono sleeve, picking her fingernails at the felt kanji on dummy Koenma's hat. She briefly considered that perhaps Kurama had broken his promise and told Koenma the truth about what had happened the day she had found The Stolen Moment, though she dismissed the idea quickly as her overwhelming faith in Kurama's honour reminded her that he was not the sort to break a deal made with anyone under any circumstances.

 

“I got the tissues, Sir,” George said, stumbling into the office again.

 

“Leave them on my desk, ogre,” Koenma instructed him.

 

“Of course.”

 

George put the box of tissues down onto Koenma's desk, but made no move to leave the room, earning him a death-glare from Koenma.

 

“Sir, if I may just intrude a little longer, there's something I wanted to say to Botan,” George said.

 

“Now isn't a good time, you thoughtless oaf!” Koenma scolded him. “Can't you see that the girl is upset? She doesn't want your ugly face hanging around here upsetting her any further!”

 

“Please Sir, if I may just say this one thing, and then I promise I'll leave.”

 

“Ogre, I swear, I will have you-”

 

“Let him talk, Lord Koenma,” Botan said softly, her voice quiet but firm enough to interrupt Koenma's rant.

 

“Fine ogre, but make it quick!” he snapped at George.

 

“Um, well, Miss Botan, I just wanted to say that you have such a lovely smile-”

 

“Ogre, I'm not running a dating service in here, get to the point!”

 

“-and maybe some people take that for granted sometimes, but everybody here in spirit world enjoys your smile, and we always appreciate seeing it. Even if some other people from outside of spirit world don't.”

 

“What are you talking about, ogre?”

 

“I just wanted Botan to know that the demon who hurt her feelings isn't worth her tears, Sir.”

 

Botan's head snapped around and she fixed her eyes onto George in disbelief. He grinned nervously under her glare, shrugging his shoulders and sliding back a step.

 

“What makes you say that, George?” she asked.

 

“Well, Miss Botan, you shouted out in the corridor out there that you were in love with a demon a few weeks back, and knowing demons the way I do, I imagine he probably let you down or did something nasty to make you so sad.”

 

Botan gulped, lowering her eyes from George to Koenma, who had noticeably tightened his grip on her shoulder. His hazel eyes were staring at her in a look that warned her not to lie to him again, but she feared that telling him the truth would lead to an absolute disaster.

 

“I never shouted out any such thing,” she said, looking over at George again. “I was talking to Iz-a friend, and she shouted out that she thought that I was in love with a demon, but I'm sure she realises now that what she said was really very silly.”

 

“Really very silly, perhaps, Botan,” Koenma said slowly. “But was it true? Are you in love with a demon?”

 

Botan looked into his eyes again, readying herself to tell him that she was not. Her heart had been cold for more than nine weeks, and her only thoughts of romance in that time had been what they had once been before: that it was something that only ever happened to other people.

 

“I…” she began, her tongue tripping her up. “I c… I can't lie to you, Sir.”

 

She could not lie to Lord Koenma, and yet for some reason neithr could she deny having feelings for a demon.

 

“Botan, that still doesn't answer my question,” he pressed. “Are you, or are you not, in love with a demon?”

 

“Yes I am,” she said faintly. “But I hate myself for it.”

 

Botan dropped her face into the dummy again, more tears burning at her eyes. She realised then that she had passed the last several weeks in denial, and now that she had been forced to face the truth, it hurt even worse than before.

 

BREAKBREAKBREAK

 

Next Chapter: (And the second half of this sprawling, neverending story begins…) Yusuke, Kurama and Hiei are preparing for the preliminaries and Koenma, George and Botan set out to demon world to watch. Botan and George get a little lost en route, and they soon find themselves in big trouble. Chapter 18: The Storm.

 

A/N: I expect much hatred for this chapter, but again I say, this is a drama/romance, not an angst/romance. Also this is the bridge between the first and second halves of the story, and I promise there will be much more double entendres, misunderstandings, tension, naughty demon plants and even some Hiei POV. Feedback is always appreciated, this is officially the most popular thing I've ever written, which is surprising (in a good way), so sincere thanks to everyone who has taken the time to read and leave comments, it really means a lot to me.