Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction ❯ Never Said ❯ Chapter 1

Never Said

 

Disclaimer: Yu Yu Hakusho does not belong to me and I make no money from this work of fanfiction at all. A/U, shonen-ai, and character death.

 

//Scorching hot air searing the lungs cold pain of blades carving flesh watching- watching watching- NO!//

Snapping awake, he looked around,

He sat on the veranda surrounding Genkai's temple, watching Kuwabara as he told a story to a circle of children, kittens and puppies, listening to his voice rise and fall. It was a peaceful, pleasant scene, so appropriate.

“Then the Mighty Kazuma cleverly created a new technique to make the Mirror demon use up all his strength- knowing that when it came down to a battle of guts, he would win. However, before he could get to the Elemental Site-“

He chuckled softly, and shook his head. The children loved listening to stories of the “Mighty Kazuma” from Grandfather Kuwabara. Of course, the others were mentioned. Of course they were brave, shining warriors, chivalrous and true. Of course, they had desperately needed the one and only human of their group.

Of course they did… And they never knew how much.

He paused, just about to sip some tea that had gotten cold during his nap. Where had that thought come from?

Then he shrugged. It didn't matter.

Kuwabara was winding his tale up, using hand gestures, funny voices, whispering, shouting… His sense of drama made him a natural story teller.

So many stories to be told, after all.

Why did he feel so sad watching him?

He knew why… It had been hovering in the background for years old. Kuwabara was mortal, unlike the other Reikai Tentai. He had aged. Silver haired, faded, with laugh lines and worry lines and sun spots on his skin. The many injuries he had taken over time had collected, giving him some really nasty arthritis in the winter, no matter how Yukina healed him. Yet his mind was still as sharp (or not) as ever- he was still Kuwabara, no matter how his body had changed.

His eyes became distant. He was happy for the two, having been married for years now. Yet there was always the lingering regret.

//Pain fear regret never having enough time I never-//

He shook his head again and sighed.

“Kids! Come inside, its time for supper!” called a cheerful voice, and one of Yukina and Kuwabara's daughter's called the horde of grandchildren inside.

“Oi, Urameshi. Enjoy the story,” hailed his friend, and Yuusuke found himself smiling at the old man.

“Of course, Jiji. Although I think you got some of the details wrong,” he jibed at him.

“Feh, just because my memory is still good after all this time and you can't be bothered with details-“

Yuusuke put down his tea and stood up, stretching, and laughed softly. Walking over, he kept his face free of the silent anguish in his heart, and crossed his legs to sit next to his friend.

“We had some good times, didn't we?”

“Yeah, we sure did, Yuusuke.”

He blinked. “Is that the first time you called me by my name?”

Kuwabara smiled faintly. “Nah, you just weren't listening.”

//Memories flashing by-

-FUCK YOU URAMESHI! FOR RUNNING OUT ON ME!//

“There were a lot of things I didn't hear,” he whispered, and he took the frail hand of his friend. It had once been so powerful… Now it was spotted and gnarled, the skin papery and cool. They just sat next to each other in silence for a long time.

“You have to leave?”

“Not for a while yet. We have time.”

“Time is what we don't have.”

Kazuma chuckled softly. “One thing about aging… You learn how to take things slow.”

They started to absently talk about things, old times, silly times, scary times. Kuwabara asked about Hiei and Kurama, Yuusuke asked about Botan and Keiko.

“I always thought you two would get together,” Kazuma mumbled, sounding very tired. He leaned up against Urameshi, who put one of his strong arms around him.

“Just wasn't meant to be… After all, she wasn't the one to wake me up, ne?”

The aged man jumped, a little- his startle reflex had waned somewhat over the years.

“How did you-“

“Baka. Keiko told me she didn't kiss me, so it had to be someone else. My mom couldn't have- she was passed out. That leaves you.”

Kuwabara didn't answer, just sighed, and rested his weight a little more on the smaller man. “You never said anything.”

“Neither did you.”

Yuusuke could feel Kuwabara shiver and he turned to him, watching him close his eyes, and ran a hand through his short silver hair.

“There was so much we didn't say to each other.”

//WHY? WHY DIDN'T I-//

“Its not fair, we wasted a life time,” Urameshi whispered, holding him close.

“Youth, stupidity. Its part of being human.”

“I'm not human!” he protested.

“Well, I am, and you were then.”

“That's the problem,” said one of the lords of the underworld. “You ran out of time.”

Kazuma's breathing became labored. “Being human was never the problem, Yuusuke,” he whispered hoarsely, and Urameshi tightened his grip. “Pride was the problem… Pride, stubbornness, immaturity… Those are things that age fixes.”

“I never got to say-“

“Oh shut up, Urameshi. I knew it, I was just afraid of it.”

“Kuwabara,” he said quietly, hearing his breath start to rattle in his chest. He stroked that beloved face gently, seeing his friend smile, not the goofy grin he got around Yukina but a genuine smile.

Hold him close one last time…

//Hold him close, one last time//

He held Kuwabara in his arms long after his breathing had stopped. He held him, feeling tears go down his cheeks as he picked up his beloved's empty shell and start to carry it back.

Kissing Kuwabara's forehead gently, he murmured. “I never got to say I loved you.”

 

~*~*~*~*~

//”KUWABARA!” he screamed, his throat ripping out the sound. No! NOT LIKE THIS!

The demon plunged the blade through Kuwabara's heart, ripping through muscle and bone and this time Yuusuke knew he wasn't faking it, because Kuwabara screamed, and the scream was cut off in a final gurgle of blood spurting from his mouth-

Catching him, Kuwabara tried to say something, but it was lost in another gush of crimson.

“Don't die, don't die! You shouldn't have to die like this! I never said- we never said- You should have died old with grandchildren around you under a tree somewhere after a long life! You should have loved- I should have gotten to tell you…”

Something inside Yuusuke Urameshi shattered, carving his heart to pieces, as he stared into the blank eyes of death.

“I never got to say I loved you.”//

 

 

Fin.