Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction ❯ No One Escapes Their Darkness ❯ Change of Heart ( Chapter 1 )

No One Escapes Their Darkness

JoannaKuwabara

 

Rating: M for Mature audiences, not fit for anyone under the age of 17

 

Warnings: (as of right now in the story) Yaoi, shounen-ai, spoilers, Original Characters, violence, angst, language, suggestive dialogue, Out of Character sometimes,

 

Pairings:

 

Yusuke/Kuwabara

Surprise/Kuwabara

OC/Kuwabara

Hiei/Kurama

 

Summary:

It's been three years since Yusuke and the other two returned from the demon world. However, not everything back in the human world is right. Things happen, and things change people. Even some who are pure as light can't hide their darkness for too long. Rated M (not for under 17) for yaio, violence, angst, language, adult themes

 

Author Note:

 

Hi ^^. This was my first dark fic that I've ever made. It is centered on Kuwabara and goes into his deep emotions. This is another of my favs, especially since it's an on going fic that I'm still working on and has my fav couple, Yusuke/Kuwa. ^_^. Not enough stories about those two. Anyway, I hope you guys like this and if you don't like anything that was mentioned in the warnings or do not like the pairing please leave now. For the rest of you, enjoy!!

 

Disclaimer:

I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho or anything related to the show. I am not making a profit for using it in this story. I am only writing this for my own enjoyment as well as others.

 

I do own any OCs that appear in this story; they will be mentioned as the story continues.

 

ENJOY!!

 

 

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He felt alone, even among his friends. He scoffed. Friends. We're they really his friends, or were they just team mates, or associates? Were these so called `friends' just the people he would work with on almost a daily bases? The man leaned back in his chair, his arms behind his head. He closed his eyes and sighed.

 

“Kuwabara-kun?”

 

Kuwabara opened one eye and looked at the concern face which appeared on Kurama's face.

 

“Are you ok? You've been quiet since we're returned from our mission.” Kurama had a look that did contain concern, but had a hint of curiosity as well.

 

“Hn, don't bother the oaf. I like the silence.”

 

Kuwabara closed his eye and grunted.

 

“Shut up Hiei.” Kuwabara says; his words lacking the normal spirit behind them.

 

Hiei glanced at Kurama and Yusuke, both of them looked just as concerned as the fire demon. They had noticed Kuwabara's behavior had drastically changed in the past three weeks. Even his physically appearance had changed. He now wore his hair down and not gelled. His skin looked paler then normal, the black cloths he wore not helping with his complexion one bit.

 

“Hey man, ya sure you're ok?” asks Yusuke.

 

Kuwabara sighed.

 

“Yes Yusuke. I'm fine.”

 

This caused the worried to have a hint of fear to rise with in the three demons. Never would Kuwabara use Yusuke's first name unless something was serious wrong, or if Yusuke wasn't around. He would never call him by his first name.

 

`I knew we never should have left him, or at least called him once in a while.' Yusuke thinks.

 

It was only three weeks ago did the two demons and awakened demon return from the three years in the makai. Once they came back, Koenma had re-commissioned them as Underworld detectives.

 

Koenma had to do this. He had given Kuwabara the job, but it seemed that a few weeks before the boys came back, Kuwabara slowly started to change. First he started to wear his hair down, which didn't really seem as any kind of warning sign. After awhile, Kuwabara's attitude started to change into a darker mood, and soon to follow were the black cloths.

 

What truly made Koenma start to worry about the boy was when he decided to get an ear ring. Not any kind of ear ring, mind you, but one of those diamond studs. Kuwabara was already talking about getting one in his tongue.

 

The real thing that pushed Koenma to re-commission the former team was when Kuwabara had died his hair blue, and had green highlights in it. That had done it for the demi-god.

 

Now Yusuke and the rest of the gang were just as worried for their friend as Koenma was, maybe even more so. They had noticed that he was different even on the missions. He wouldn't be his cocky self; but he would act a bit more like Hiei, maybe even an exaggerated Hiei. Hiei was in complete and utter shock at this new behavior from the human, and had found that he was now worried for him.

 

Kuwabara sighed and got up.

 

“I'm gonna go for a walk.”

 

“Wait, Kuwabara…don't ya want ta….ya know? Hang out or something?” asks a desperate Yusuke.

 

Yusuke hated seeing his friend act like this. It just wasn't Kuwabara. It was not the same Kuwabara he uses to mess with and have fun with. He wasn't his best friend who would help him when he needed or would make him laugh when he was down. Yusuke needed that from his best friend. He needed that light, that purity, that innocence that Kuwabara had and would display often. He was the one, who would always be there for him, and Yusuke knew it, but this Kuwabara was none of those qualities the real one had. No, this was an imposter.

 

Kuwabara snorted.

 

“Why?”

 

“Because you need to, baka.”

 

This shocked everyone.

 

Hiei glared at Kuwabara.

 

He didn't like this new Kuwabara. He missed the old one. The one who he could so easily mess with and could make him feel like life wasn't all bad. Kuwabara would always be that light; that last hope when there was none left. Secretly, Hiei knew he needed the human to keep him sane and to keep him from going back to his evil ways. Kuwabara was Hiei's light with in his darkness, and kept Hiei from dishonoring his sister more. Kuwabara was his balance and kept him from tipping over to one side. But this Kuwabara was not his balance.

 

“And what the Hell would you know what I need?” asks Kuwabara, with an indifference in his voice, like he didn't really care.

 

“Because we are you're friends, Kuwabara-kun!” says Kurama.

 

Kurama was starting to feel desperate. He couldn't understand or figure out what was wrong with his friend. He was always easy to figure out. He was predictable and was reliable in whatever the situation. Kurama had felt close to the human, and could relate to him with almost everything. They had more things in common then most people would think. Both had expectations placed on them, and neither one of them really wanted to live up to them, but did it for those they loved. He was just doing what others wanted from him and expected from him. Kurama had admired his only true human friend who wasn't his mother. However, this Kuwabara was not that same friend he knew.

 

“Ha! Friends don't leave and come back after three years of no contact and expect everything to be exactly how it used to be. Friends just don't abandon friends! Friends are not what I need or want. Friends are useless and pointless. Just like my life.”

 

With that said, Kuwabara turned around leaving three stunned and horrified demons.

 

 

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Kuwabara walked down the crowded streets, his head down and his hands in his pockets. His eyes were looking at the ground, not really caring if he bumped into someone or was knocked him self. He sighs.

 

`What's wrong with me? I just threw the only friends I have out of my life forever. I'm stupid….what was I even thinking….wait I don't think.' He sighs again. `This sucks big time. I feel so tired all the time and feel so bad. I don't feel like my self, but….then again, I don't know who I really am. I've been acting for all of my friends for such a long time, I don't even know who or what I am anymore. I've lost my self to playing the fool.'

 

Kuwabara turns down a dark alley and continues to walk down the abandon street way.

 

`When did I start feeling like this anyway?' Kuwabara thinks about it and tries to remember it, but as he tries, he feels a sharp pain in his head. He grabs his head and falls to his knees, clenching his teeth. He rips at his hair, trying to stop the pain. As suddenly as it started, it stopped.

 

Kuwabara opens his eyes and slowly let go of his hair. He sighs with relief.

 

“Damn it. Stupid migraines; been getting worse lately.” He grumbles as he stands up. He looks up and sees he's at a dead end.

 

“Great, just like everything else in my life. A dead end...”

 

He turns and finds a group of thugs. They are swinging around chains and carrying bats. There were seven all together, the leader out in front of the group.

 

The leader was maybe a few inches taller then himself, which was astounding, especially since Kuwabara was 6'3 now.

 

He had short blond hair and silver eyes. He had fair skin and was obviously hot with the ladies by the way he looked and presented himself.

 

“It seems we got a trespasser on to our territory….and to the looks of `im, a weaklin'.”

 

Laughed the leader, chuckles came from his lackeys.

 

Kuwabara snorted.

 

“Whatever.”

 

The leader narrowed his eyes at the boy.

 

“You'd better pay more respect, baka!” shouts one of the guys.

 

“Yeah, ya have no clue who yer messin with!” shouts another.

 

“Same could be say for you baka yaio.” Snorts Kuwabara.

 

“Oh you're dead!” shouts another lackey who had his bat ready to clobber the disrespectful idiot who dared to wander in THEIR territory.

 

The leader puts his hand up, which halts the guy's attack.

 

“I like you. You show no fear in your eyes. I can tell you've been in more then a few fights in your time.”

 

The leader walks up to Kuwabara, who only crosses his hands across his chest and stares blankly at the man.

 

The man leans close to Kuwabara's stone cold face; dangerously close to Kuwabara's face.

 

“Not to mention, you aren't too bad to look at.”

 

The leader grins evilly at Kuwabara, causing chills to go up and down his spine. Some of the lackeys smirked at their leader's comment, while others looked towards Kuwabara with the same lust their leader had.

 

“Why don't you join us? You seem like you would easily fit in with us. Besides….” His lips now lightly brushing against Kuwabara's lips, which stiffened at the close contact.

 

“…you seem like you need something to hold on to.” A glint appeared in the leader's eyes, as his silver eyes never looking away from Kuwabara's brown eyes.

 

Kuwabara couldn't help but feel uneasy at the closeness of the man, who wasn't too bad to look at either; however Kuwabara had decided a long time ago that he would never go down that path again, especially when Yusuke left.

 

A familiar feeling seemed to consume the teen; a sense of terror yet interest in the one who was close enough to lick Kuwabara's lips.

 

Kuwabara composed him self, a smirk crossing his lips.

 

“Like I would join a bunch of wanna be punks.”

 

Kuwabara didn't move, daring to stare the guy straight in his eyes, challenging him to try and defend his pride.

 

“Why you….” growls one of his men.

 

“How dare you turn down Denshi's offer!” shouts another.

 

“It's alright boys.” says Denshi never taking his eyes from Kuwabara's cold glaze.

 

His gang looks up at their boss, shocked.

 

“If you change your mind; I'll find you.” Denshi says, taking a step to the side to let Kuwabara past him.

 

Kuwabara snorts.

 

“Whatever dude.” Kuwabara walked past the gang of punks who were giving him a mixture of glares and lustful gazes that made his skin crawl.

 

Once Kuwabara disappeared into the alley he had used to find him self to the dead end, one of the men from the gang turned to their boss.

 

“What makes you think he'll change his mind?”

 

 

“Trust me. He will change his mind. We'll see him sooner then he thinks. Don't worry about that.” smirked the leader, walking the same way Kuwabara just left, his gang followed close behind him.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Kuwabara was met with a very concerned and mostly pissed off Shizuru as he walked through the door.

 

“It's 10. Where were you?” she asked, lighting up a cigarette and taking a drag.

 

Her voice was calm, but her eyes showed her worry and anger.

 

“It's none of yer damn business where I was. I'm old enough to do the hell I want and go where the hell I want.” said Kuwabara as he passed her and walked to his room.

 

“It's sure as hell is her business, seeing she yer sister ya idiot!” came from the couch.

 

Kuwabara sighed.

 

He had sensed Yusuke from a block away.

 

Kuwabara could never forget the type of energy Yusuke could emit from his being. How could he not know after the feelings he still held for his best friend?

 

“What do you want Yusuke?”

 

“What's with this Yusuke shit?! Why won't you call me Urameshi?!” shouted Yusuke as he stands up and walked up to his friend.

 

He was in Kuwabara's face for only an instant before he backed off. Kuwabara had a weird scent on him. Yusuke didn't know what it was, but it was faint, and it smelt very familiar.

 

A weird feeling in the pit of Yusuke's stomach appeared as something in his brain clicked; telling the hanyou it was familiar, though his brain unable to place where exactly he had known the aroma from.

 

His stomach seemed to build up with an emotion he was all too accustomed too.

 

Jealousy.

 

“Where were you?” Yusuke asked, looking Kuwabara dead in his eyes.

He was not only scared for his best friend, but felt very possessive over his friend at the moment, not understanding why or where the feeling was coming from.

 

“It's none of yer damn business, nor is it any concern of my sister.” Kuwabara said, looking towards his sister who, even through her pissed off glare, had un-ushered tears in her eyes that she wasn't allowing to fall.

 

“Like hell it isn't my business! As long as you live under this roof and in my custody, yer my fucking business!” Shizuru growled getting into Kuwabara's face.

 

Kuwabara glared at his sister and gave a sigh. He really wanted to go to sleep. His headache had returned after talking to the punks from the dead end.

 

Kuwabara started to consider going back out, even though he knew the neighborhood was not a good place to take a stroll at night in.

 

Kuwabara figured more fresh air would help the headache and possible help him clear his head so he could figure out what was going on with him.

 

Yusuke couldn't believe his eyes as he watched Kuwabara grab his sister's wrist and pulled her dangerously close to him.

 

“Then I should move out, shouldn't I?” He growled, squeezing her wrists a bit.

 

Shizuru's eyes widened at how her normally gentle and tame little brother had her wrist in a painful grip.

 

Kuwabara's eyes seem to turn back to normal as he notices the hint of fear and tears that threaten to fall from her deep brown eyes.

 

He looked at his hand, shocked at what he was doing. A flash of pain, fear, and regret crossed Kuwabara's face as he looked at his sister, who showed the same look at her little brother.

 

He turns sad eyes towards her eyes that were searching for answers about her brother's out of character behavior.

 

Kuwabara looks away from his sister's eyes, knowing he wouldn't be able to help her with the very thing he him self was trying to discover answers for.

 

He gently let go of her wrist and walked around her. Shizuru turned to watch her brother head towards his room.

 

Yusuke looked at his friend. There was defiantly something wrong with him. Hiei and Kurama had felt it too, but none of them could figure out what it was. They had thought at first it wasn't really Kuwabara, but his aura was the same.

Nothing made sense.

 

It was like his entire soul was emitting some kind of dark essence that seemed to be consuming the light that made up Kuwabara's entire being. Yusuke felt pure darkness emit from Kuwabara as he grabbed his sister's wrist; his intentions aiming to not only warn her but actually cause some physical injury to her.

 

Yusuke grabs Kuwabara's arm before he is able to reach his room.

 

“Kuwabara….I don't know what's going on with you man, but you're really scaring us. What's wrong with you?”

 

Yusuke looks directly into Kuwabara's face; which was staring straight ahead.

 

“You're not acting normal…”

 

Kuwabara turns to his friend and locks eyes with Yusuke's; which are filled with worry and pain.

 

“Well, that shows how much you know about me, Yusuke. I was never normal; I was never considered nor treated normal. You being my best friend would have or should have known that about me by now, but then again you weren't really what one could call a `best' friend, now could I?” Kuwabara says, looking into Yusuke's eyes with such a dull and dark look Yusuke shuttered, letting go of Kuwabara's arm.

 

“Kuwabara…” Yusuke started, looking more then hurt at what was said.

 

Yusuke felt as if his heart was ripped out of his chest and torn apart.

 

“How could you say that…even think that?” asks Yusuke, pain not only in his voice but emitting off of his entire being.

 

Kuwabara closed his eyes, like he was trying to compose himself.

 

A pang in his heart caused Kuwabara's reaction; unwanted feelings and emotions wanting to resurface at the moment Yusuke grabbed his arm; now even more persistent.

 

“You and Hiei make it clear to me every single day at how much I'm abnormal…even an idiot…that is why and how.”

 

Kuwabara walks past Yusuke and into his room, locking it from the inside.

 

Yusuke stood in that spot, staring out in shock at what Kuwabara just told him.

 

`Do I really treat him like some kind of freak….like an idiot?' Yusuke thought, asking himself; looking through the memories of when Kuwabara held that purity Yusuke couldn't sense nor feel coming from his best friend at this very moment.

 

Yusuke's eyes widen as he realized how unfair he and Hiei had treated the human; never treating him like one of the team but as their comedy relief, even in a serious situation where he wasn't trying to be funny. Yusuke's eyes held regret and showed the determination he had to repair his friend ship with Kuwabara; a friend ship he would give even his life for.

 

He turns to Shizuru, who is on her fourth cigarette by now.

 

“See. This is what I've been dealing with for the past month now, though that was the first physical assault he made on me.” Shizuru said, looking directly at Yusuke with a pleading look that seemed to beg him to bring her dear baby brother back to her.

 

“That damn mission…if he just didn't go on it alone…” She saai with so much disgust in her voice that Yusuke raises an eyebrow at her.

 

Her hands light up another cigarette, her fifth.

 

“What mission?” Yusuke asked, narrowing his eyes.

 

“Didn't diaper boy tell you?” she asked, taking a drag.

 

“No, he didn't.” Yusuke said, looking seriously at Shizuru, a tiny hint of anger in his chocolate orbs.

 

“Kazuma was sent after this demon a month ago, never caught the guy actually; turns out it was a hoax or something by some demons trying to get up Koenma's ass or something. Kazuma came back all depressed and shit, saying he couldn't believe he wasted his whole day chasing a fake demon.”

 

Yusuke narrowed his eyes.

 

`Now why didn't Koenma tell us this?' he thought.

 

He was also curious as to why Koenma didn't tell him and the rest of the gang that he had already re instated Kuwabara before they came back from the makai.

 

“Thanks Shizuru. I'll talk to you later. Call me if anything happens.”

 

“Sure.” She said as she sucks down more smog from her cancer stick; her eyes clearly displaying appreciation towards Yusuke taking the time to come over.

 

Yusuke gave her a smile that was to try and cheer her up.

“I'll talk to you later; I got to discus something with pacifier breath.” Yusuke turned and started to leave when Shizuru sighed.

 

“He missed you guys, ya know? He was basically miserable the whole three years; especially over you.”

 

Yusuke looked at her, surprised. His stomach had butterflies which confused him, though he decided to ignore it; figuring he could deal with the emotions that seemed to appear to the surface later. He also felt a pang of guilt at the fact he had caused his best friend such misery.

 

Yusuke turned towards Shizuru, who looked like the cigarettes were starting catch up with her, making her seem like she aged ten years. Yusuke realized at that moment that those three years must have been horrible to the Kuwabara siblings.

 

Yusuke managed to give her a weak smile even with the dread and regret that embedded it self deep with in his soul and heart.

 

“Don't worry. We'll get him back, I promise.”

 

 

 

 

 

Kuwabara stared up at the ceiling and sighed. He took out the fake ear ring. Kuwabara was really going to get one, but chickened out at the last second. That had earned him a huge headache. Kuwabara set the clip-on on the table and lay back down.

 

His hand found its way to his once orange curls, now blue-ish green hair. He stared at the strand that was between his thumb and forefinger. Kuwabara really didn't want to color his hair. It was an accident really. All he really wanted was for them to notice him, so he was going to dye his hair blonde or something. He figured if it didn't work out, he would at least see what he would have been as a blonde.

 

After he followed the instructions, he found out that you're not supposed to actually try and bleach your hair blonde if you have natural orange hair. He still didn't know who would make a warning that said: Do Not Try on Naturally Orange Hair in size 2 font on the bottom of the box. He still didn't understand how it turned blue with green streaks.

 

The only thing Kuwabara really did was buy all black cloths that he bought at a gothic store. Who knew there was one just a few blocks from his house? He sure didn't know until he walked by it and saw a cool Metallica shirt in the window.

 

Kuwabara closed his eyes.

 

`What's wrong with me? Why do I feel like this?'

 

His head felt like it was going to explode if he kept thinking about it.

 

“And what's with this fucking headache?!” he shouted.

 

Kuwabara got out of his bed and went to the bathroom. He dug through the medicine cabinet and gulped down two Advils, dry. He didn't want to go to the kitchen. He really didn't want to face his sister, especially after what he did to her wrist. He still couldn't believe he had did that to her. He covered his face with his hands and bend down towards the faucet, which was still running.

 

He didn't know what he'd say to her. He really didn't know what was going on with him, and it scared him.

 

Kuwabara splashed water into his face and looked at him self in the mirror.

 

“What the hell is wrong with you Kazuma?” he asked himself out loud.

 

He looked at his reflection, hoping he might get some kind of clue to why he did this.

 

Kuwabara sighed.

 

“This is pointless. I need some more air.”

 

Kuwabara walked out of the bathroom and to the door.

 

“Kazuma? Where are you going?! It's Midnight.” shouts Shizuru from the kitchen.

 

“For some air!” he shouts back.

 

Before she could answer back, he walked out, slamming the door behind him.

 

 

 

 

Well I hope you guys liked this ^^. I will be posting in the FanArt a picture of what Kuwabara looks like in his new `gothic attire' ^^. So I hope you guys liked this and please read and review! I'll get the next chapter out as soon as I can ^^.