Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction ❯ Nothing So Simple ❯ Chapter 1

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Ping- I am a lazy, evil person in need of a flogging.
::is surprised at the length of the waiting line::
Ping- But, uh, first... it is getting sexy!
::about half of the mob wanders off to find a computer::
Ping- Ah well, it's better than nothing.
::bends over::
Drunky- Thank you sir, may I have another! ^_^ ::cracks open another beer::

Disclaimer- Yoshihiro Togashi owns them all. If I did, you'd all be paying me for this. Are you? I didn't think so. So start reading, you sponge, and leave me to my leisure.

Warnings: Incomplete, Language, Citrus, OOC is now probably a good bet...

Pairings: HieixYusuke

Notes: This fic is a gift for Suki, my beta-bitch, who is ill, and therefore not beta'ing this. All mistakes are mine- MINE, I tell you! Sorry it's taking me such an ungodly amount of time! Much love! Get to feeling better, missy!
Druggy- Here, try flogging her; that always makes me feel better.
Drunky- Ooh! A spanking, a spanking!
Ping- No more tv for you.
Drunky- Oh snap.
Also, a big thanks and subsequent apology to everyone who's reviewed this and then sat there, letting a spider build it's web on you, just waiting for me to get on with it.
Drunky- GET ON WITH IT!
I've picked up the elusive thread of the plot- next time it won't take so long, and there will likely be a lemon for your troubles. ::bows::
Druggy- What!? No lemon this time!?
Drunky- But-but-but you said it was getting sexy!
Ping- Getting. Get-ting.
::mob returns with whips::
Ping- Oh snap.

AU: A slightly different take on the missing Artifacts of Darkness. Hiei is in Spirit World with his, and the others are really unimportant. ^^* That's all that I've really changed, besides mentioning recent previous detectives that don't really exist. Other than that, I'm really trying to keep it all together and in character.

Nothing So Simple
Chapter 2

Why? Why why why?

The question repeated like a mantra in Hiei's mind as he watched the sleeping human. The human that should not be alive. The human that most certainly should not be sleeping in his own bed. (What the hell? He hadn't prepared any other quarters to be livable- he wasn't into the business of entertaining guests!) Hiei sighed, disgusted with himself. He had shown a great weakness, in allowing the Spirit Detective to live... if any other demons in the region found out about this... Well, never mind, who gave a damn what those fools thought- he would rule them all before too long, anyway.

The point was what he thought of it. 'Perhaps I should have myself checked over.' Hiei shifted from one foot to the other, so deep in thought he appeared mesmerized by the steady rise and fall of the boy's chest. Hearing a throat being cleared, Hiei's eyes snapped to the demon finishing up with the bandages and tinctures. His meaty paws were slick with blood and the smell of disease clinging to his rough fur coat nearly choked Hiei as he stood and made to leave the room. Hiei was fairly certain that the (mostly) sentient demon was giving him a judging, sly look from the corner of his beady eye as he left. 'Let him think what he wants. I know why I'm doing this.'

... Maybe, on second thought, he should kill the beast instead. It would certainly make him feel better, Hiei mused.

'And keep you from wondering exactly what it is that you're supposed to know.' A sneaky voice whispered in the back of his mind. God, he hated that voice. Never mind that it was usually right- it was still irritating.

Speaking of irritating, the boy was stirring. Hiei stepped closer, soundlessly, and peered more closely at his captive. 'Captive... yes. Of course- I spared him only so I can torture information out of him. He may be new, but perhaps he knows something about Koenma's palace. It might prove useful- a tactical advantage, perhaps.' But, the boy had proven willful, and brave to the point of ridiculousness. Given the situation he had been in earlier and his rather blasé reaction towards dying, perhaps he should try a gentle hand first. Allow his grudging respect for his fighting ability to create a bridge for them- tenuous and ready to be burned once he was no longer needed, but the boy need not know that. Hiei's eye twitched at the thought of having to be 'nice' to anybody, but perhaps the detective would see through the ploy and he wouldn't have to pretend for long.

'Doubtful. He's about as sharp as a wet rag.'

Hiei stared down at the bandaged human as he began the slow trek towards consciousness. His hair was loose and wild, giving him an even more youthful appearance. Koenma surely was scraping the bottom of the barrel if this was what he had to resort to- something more suited to a trophy lover than a warrior. The white bandages added an odd glow to his dark skin, and Hiei found himself not at all unwilling to appreciate his pleasing appearance. He certainly didn't measure up to a certain youko, but as far as humans went, he wasn't terrible to look at. A small part of his deviant subconscious even laid out plans to possibly gain something else out of this unpleasant mess.

Without quite noticing what he was doing, Hiei snaked a hand out onto the pillow, running a few inky strands between his fingers. He returned to his senses as the boy moaned, turning over and pressing his forehead to Hiei's palm. Frozen and unaccountably blushing, Hiei held his breath as the boy began to murmur, thankfully still unaware of his surroundings. Hiei caught sight of the tip of a pink tongue, snaking out to wet pink lips- he was hypnotized by the thin sheen of moisture on the full bottom lip.

He blinked. When had he leaned so close? With a jerk, Hiei stood back upright and yanked his hand back, crossing his arms and cursing his blush away. 'Idiot. Something is definitely wrong with you... Reacting in such a disgraceful manner- to a mere human no less! He's not even that good looking!' He thought of a silvery haired youko (the sheer definition of beauty) but found his senses double teamed by the images- it wasn't helping.

He peeked over slyly. The detective's brow furrowed, apparently sensing the loss of heat from his hand, pouting.

'Uh oh. Look away!' Hiei snapped his eyes forward, forcefully dispelling any images of lips lush with sleep and soft tousled hair. ... 'Dammit!'

A louder moan, and Hiei turned to glare at the boy who was finally waking. He lifted his head slowly off the pillow with a grimace, eyes half lidded and unfocused as they swept the room before finally landing back on him with more purpose. The two stared at each other for a moment, the effect causing Hiei to blush- the more he fought it down, the more it deepened, until he looked like a tomato and felt like a complete moron, unable to look away or make a sound.

'Why am I acting this way!? I'm a warrior, dammit, not a love struck maiden! Perhaps this is some sorcery... maybe-'

"Mom?"

'... nevermind.'

"No, fool. Don't you remember anything? Or do you have the recall of an insect?"

The detective blinked slowly a few times before sighing loudly and dropping his face into the pillow. "I don't want to go to school today." He muffled.

Hiei blinked rapidly before his face fell to an unimpressed half-mast. With a click of his tongue, Hiei cocked his head and reached out, smacking the boy in the back of his head.

"Ow! Damn you're bitchy in the morning..."

Hiei felt a vein about to burst, his fists shaking in impending rage. 'Why that thickheaded, lug-"

"Am I dead... again?"

His head shot up so quickly that Hiei almost fell over, aborting his next (much more damaging) attempt to rouse him. Hiei steadied himself and tried to appear ominous, but the effect was lost, as the human was staring at the headboard.

Hiei clicked his tongue again. "No, you're not- and don't ask me why, I'm not sure myself. The alternative is looking more promising with each passing second. So don't get comfortable, you may not stay that way for long."

'Why do I get the feeling he's only heard half of what I just said?'

Yusuke blinked several times, his bearings returning to him as slowly as possible, as per usual. He licked his lips, yawned, stretched his legs- 'Ow! Ow ow ow!! That hurts!!'

Memories came flooding back unbidden, and a cold coil of fear wound its way from his brain to his belly. He could see from the corner of his eye that the demon was standing very near to him, but he wasn't moving, which was a good sign. 'Maybe I can lunge and surprise him- knock him off balance.'

A quick check told him his body wasn't doing a damn thing it didn't feel like, and at the moment it didn't feel like doing anything but going back to the numbness sleep afforded him. Acceptance swallowed his fear and he felt a wave of calm rush over him. Yusuke maneuvered until he lay on his side, torso supported by his elbow, his head propped on his hand. He ran bored eyes over the demon, giving him the full Yusuke Urameshi Bull-Shit Variation #347. 'I gotta find a way outta here... but not without that sword, and a little pay back.'

"So, what's for breakfast, shorty?"

It was almost like a near death experience. Seeing that hand coming at him reminded him of Keiko's vicious assaults, and in a heartbeat Yusuke's survival instincts kicked in. He jumped up to avoid it, despite his body's protests- but he was too slow and it was all for naught. Yusuke heard the sound of flesh slapping flesh seconds before his ass started to burn.

"... D... Did you just spank me?" Yusuke asked over his shoulder. A manic grin threatened to break out on his face, but he fought it down valiantly- didn't want to give the guy the wrong impression- only a hint of it leaking through into his voice.

Hiei stood wide-eyed and frozen, hand still planted on the boy's rear. He stared at it like it was some sort of strange bug, his face turning interesting shades of pink and red. The heat of it resting on his skin was almost unbearable, between the wounds sustained ('On my ass, yeah, that'll be fun to wait to heal.'), the impact and the demon's rising temperature. Yusuke was very near to tears with the effort of not laughing. He accidentally let slip a snort, causing disbelieving red eyes to rise to his.

Very softly, Yusuke managed, "Sorry, pal- you're gonna have to kiss me, first."

Like a shot the demon was gone from him, standing to seethe in the doorway. Yusuke felt very sure the demon was about to blast him, and as he realized how compromised his position was, he gathered the sheet about his waist, lamenting that he should die a toaster tart and in the nude. Self-preservation instincts kicking in again, Yusuke schooled his face to neutrality and stayed kneeling on the bed, looking over his shoulder silently.

Completely unaware of the effect he was having on the demon.

Half hysterically, his subconscious reasoned that he should take the human up on the offer. Hiei's rational mind was torn between utter devastation, the will to be consumed by his dragon, the sweeping tide of lust at the vision of innocuous seduction sitting on the bed, and the burst of rage that demanded no living thing escape his grip.

Hiei thought frantically, sorting through bits of sentences, managing a few words of nonsense as the curve of spine distracted him and the red imprints of his fingertips peaking over the edge of the sheet halted his mental processes completely. The human stared back, all wide, chocolate brown eyes, and it undid him. A mask of blandness fell over his features, obscuring his current thoughts from notice..

'He is going to kill me.'

'He is going to kill me.'

Hiei flexed his hand, the pleasant, dull sting fading. He cleared his throat and opened his mouth, ready to deliver a withering retort. To his surprise, all that came out was, "You moved."

The boy's eyebrows rose. "... oops."

'Indeed.'

"Well." Hiei coughed again, somehow having a difficult time remembering why he was even there in the first place. "Now that you're no longer in danger of expiring from blood loss-"

"No thanks to you." The human interjected.

Hiei growled, then smiled with sadistic glee. "- I think it's time I moved you to your... permanent... accommodations."

Yusuke's relief at not being served up extra crispy was short lived. "Does it have a turndown service?" He asked benignly, fighting down the sinking feeling that he'd never see the light of day again.

The sound of heavy wood impacting solid stone reverberated through Yusuke's aching skull. 'I hate it when I'm right.' He took a brief moment to take in the blackened room, moldy hay on the floor and the bare rock walls. That was it. 'Guess that's why no one ever asks to sleep in a dungeon.' He turned as footsteps signaled his impending solitude. Nearly tripping over the sheet clutched like a life-line in his hands, Yusuke rushed to the tiny barred opening near the top of the door, having to stand on tip toe to see out it- even though all he could see was another blank wall and dancing shadows from a wall torch too far away to afford any additional light.

"Gee, if I had known that this was how the morning after was going to be, I'd have used more pillow talk."

Unfortunately, his barb was met with only the sound of another door closing, then complete silence. Yusuke settled onto his feet and shivered, wrapping the sheet more closely about him as he rested his head against the door with a dull thud. It did nothing for his headache, but it didn't exactly make his situation any worse, either.

'Well, you sorta did think about never going back home- good news, now you don't have to. Thanks, Koenma, Botan. Way to bring me back from the dead just so you can send me to my doom.'

There wasn't a window in there, no method of escape. It was cold and dank, and there was no way Yusuke was going to get any better in there, and he could only assume he'd only be let out to be tortured or some lame crap like that. He was weak now, and he'd only get weaker, so his chances of overpowering the guards and escaping seemed pretty sad. 'So that's it. I'm done- finished. The Great Yusuke Urameshi's gone... Because everyone else told him what to do and made him do stupid, useless stuff instead of getting on with his life!.. and because I just wasn't good enough... Urrrh! Who cares about some stupid sword! Woo-hoo, it turns trees into demons, big whoopdie-freakin'-do! It's nothing to get tortured to death for! I don't even care about this stupid war, this stupid dimension, stupid Koenma or stupid stupid stupid--!!'

Tears of frustration blurring his vision but refusing to fall, Yusuke shuffled to a corner and leaned back, sliding down to the floor and wrapping his arms around his knees, trying to keep his body heat from leaching away. He stared at the floor. 'I wish... just once... that someone would care about what I think.'

"You people are all alike... every last one of you." He mumbled, burying his face in the crook of his arm.

Hiei closed his Jagan eye. He could tell from the energy fluctuations that the boy had stopped drawing energy back into himself. 'So, he's given up already, then... What a disappointment.'

He found the sentiment rang true. He had since filed away the earlier experience in the part of his brain that he kept particularly nasty occurrences as far from recall as possible, and had gained back his demonic air, just in time to face his legions again. More status reports from the border patrol, curious passerby's have been eaten, more sentries have been 'recruited', blah blah blah. Was it always this boring?

Yes. Yes it was. There was just never anything to remind him of how... exciting... chaos could be. He found himself getting antsy and blasting the demon kneeling before him for no real reason- not that he needed one, it's just that he normally had some small excuse, however pathetic it was.

After closing his eye to the human, he had replaced his ward only to now remove it again, gazing inward at the huddled figure in the bowels of his castle keep. He had felt this constant compulsion for the last day and a half. Obviously, his plan to 'buddy up' to his prisoner was now abandoned, but he hadn't yet decided on what step to take next. The more he thought about it, the more he figured the boy wouldn't know anything- he'd surely been sent to merely test Hiei's abilities, for he'd stood no chance- and that he really didn't feel like torturing anybody... today. He was sure that feeling would pass. So, that left him with the option of leaving him to rot in the earth (which if his constant eavesdropping was any indication, would be a tedious and frustrating ordeal for himself) or to kill him right out.

It seemed kind of silly to have patched him up only to kill him. After assaulting him. Incredulous, Hiei realized he was smiling. He quickly wiped the expression from his face, glancing from left to right to make sure no one had seen. Indeed, after his little outburst, the room had cleared and he was all alone. Good. That was why he fried the sentry then. How clever of him.

Hiei shook his head. "This... detective's presence has me disturbed." 'Mentally.' "I have to end this now, if I'm to ever get back to my conquest. It was folly of me to have spared him- I will rectify that little error right now."

"Shall I go fetch him, my lord."

Hiei's eyes snapped open. 'Not completely alone, then.' With a cringe and another small blush, Hiei waved the guard off, then set about centering himself. He wanted to appear in his full demonic glory, the last thing the pathetic mortal would ever see.

Or not, as several minutes later the boy was tossed unceremoniously to the floor at his feet, and for several more minutes since- during which time the guards had left them definitely alone this time- he had not looked at anything but the floor. Hiei felt an annoying tug in his gut at the sad sight.

"Human." He commanded sternly, angering when it had no effect. "I say, human!"

The boy mumbled something. Hiei strained forward to listen, but it was short and not repeated. He furrowed his brows. "HUMAN!"

In an instant Hiei had a lap full of spirit detective, fierce brown eyes staring into his own, a deceptively firm grip clamped around his neck. Curious, Hiei held still and waited out the silence.

"My name... is Yusuke... Urameshi... If you feel the need... to address me at all... call me by my FUCKING NAME!" Done, Yusuke slipped slowly off Hiei's lap, resting on the top stair leading to his throne.

Hiei blinked, oddly pleased. 'So, he has a little fight left in him yet.' There was a stirring, deep within him that he had not felt in many years- he now knew what it was, and just what to do. His lips quirked before he leveled his gaze at the disheveled youth. After apparently feeling his eyes on him, Yusuke looked up. Hiei twitched his nose. "You smell awful."

One of Yusuke's brows rose nearly to his hairline. "Sorry. The hot tub was full up- the rats were having a shindig."

Hiei let loose a full sardonic grin. "Then I suggest you use mine until there's an opening." With a flick of his eyes toward the exit, two guards appeared, lifting Yusuke up under his arms and supporting him as he glared skeptically at the demon. "When you are no longer an affront to my senses, we will have a long overdue... chat."

Yusuke's brows rose for an instant then fell, his gaze wandering away. "Yeah, sure, buttercup. As long as you don't grab my ass again."

'Unfortunately, dear Yusuke Urameshi, Spirit Detective... that is exactly what I have in mind.' Hiei smiled benignly. "After that last little outburst, hum- ... Yusuke..." He waited until he had the youth's attention. "... Hiei."

"Huh?"

Hiei nodded smartly, and Yusuke was lead away, struggling to look at Hiei over his shoulder as they left.

"You are now officially worth my time."

Oh SAINTS preserve him, this was the single most sinful experience of his admittedly short life. With an obscene groan, Yusuke sank into the hot water up to his nose, chasing away the pervading chill that had been all of his existence for nearly the past two days. He flexed his fingers and toes as sensation returned to them, joints all over his body popping and loosening as he relaxed. The clear water smelled fragrant and slightly medicinal- he idly marveled as his cuts were purged of the aching infections and slowly knitted back into unblemished skin.

Contrariwise to his peaceful state, he knew he should have been attempting to escape- he'd been left alone to clean himself up, but a wonderful smell that his mind helpfully supplied as 'fooooood' was wafting from the crack beneath the door, assuring him that the moment of respite was only going to get better. He sighed contentedly, his stomach growled in delightful anticipation, and absolutely nothing could have dragged him out of that tub.

Even the knowledge that a certain beady eyed demon was waiting for him when he was through. To 'chat.'

'Well, if by 'chat' he means 'torture,' bring it on.' Certainly, psychologically speaking, this would be a most effective form of torture- opulence to agony and back again- but as far as physically went, Yusuke felt like he could run a mile and not be out of breath. He was ready for anything the... whatsitsname... Hiei had for him.

Even still, after finally extricating himself from the lucid water and wrapping a fluffy towel about his waist then exiting the bathing room, seeing Hiei sitting in a chair separated from an empty chair by a tray of food still left him with a sense of vertigo. Uncertain and once again feeling vulnerable in his nakedness, Yusuke nodded roughly.

"Nice towels. What's the 'K' stand for?"

Hiei coughed into his hand- was he blushing?- and motioned to his left, beyond the large bed (where much of this had started) to where a closet lay bare its spoils. Walking over, Yusuke whistled under his breath at the enormous selection and variety of clothing hanging in the enormous side chamber.

"I always imagined this is what Keiko's closet looks like... only with more pink." He stifled a bark of laughter as he found a little of that, as well. "So, what, just pick something that fits?"

"Actually, that depends. Look directly inside the door, on the hook." Judging by the disbelieving outcry, Hiei assumed he had found it.

"There is no way in hell I'm wearing those! You can just drop me back into that cellar to rot!" Yusuke's muffled voice 'harumphed'.

"You will wear those, Yusuke, or you most certainly will be dropped back into your cell- along with a new roommate that has an overwhelming penchant for human flesh." Hiei waited through a moment of silence. "And it's rather built like a 'bunny rabbit' so it would take some time to skin you alive." That did it.

"No way in hell I'm getting eaten to death by a rabbit..." Yusuke murmured to the sound of clinking metal. A few sharp snaps later and Yusuke returned to the doorway with his arms crossed over his chest, each wrist adorned with a tightly fitting metal shackle. 'At least there's no chain.' He groused.

Hiei nodded, face neutral. Now then, as for the rest- this is where the variable enters into play."

"Aw, man, does this have something to do with math!?"

"What?" Hiei's right eye scrunched up in confusion. "What the- no, you stupid human, now listen!" Yusuke rolled his eyes but was apparently going to remain silent. Hiei nodded in satisfaction. "Your use is decidedly limited, as I'm sure you know. I've come to the conclusion that Koenma wouldn't have revealed anything of pertinence to you. Neither do you seem to be very spiritually strong- physically even, for that matter."

Yusuke's brow furrowed. "I took you to the ground, if you'll remember, junior bacon."

"I take that back-" Yusuke smiled. "Your tongue is very well exercised." It was short lived. "Indeed, I am hard pressed to come up with a reason why you are still breathing."

Yusuke's expression became serious and a little curious. "So... why am I?" It was an earnest question that Hiei wished he could answer.

"I... don't know. I just haven't thought of the best way to kill you yet, perhaps."

Yusuke snorted and half turned back into the closet. "That seems to be the question of the century- why don't you just run over me?"

Hiei blinked. "What good would that do? Besides the obvious pleasure of grinding your face into the floor."

Yusuke looked back at him. "... nevermind."

Hiei shook his head, passing the conversation off as 'problem lies with stupid human's inability to communicate.' "If you wish to live, then you have two choices. One," He made sure he had Yusuke's attention, and as far as he could tell by the impatient expression and the finger in the ear, he had the majority of it. "You will serve me- you will do what I say, when I say."

Yusuke snorted. "Sounds like a party."

"Second," Hiei continued as if he hadn't heard. "You don't serve me- willingly, at least."

"Better to be the right hand of the devil then get your ass fried, or something like that, huh?" Yusuke asked, clearly not impressed with his choices. After a few minutes of silence, during which Hiei assumed Yusuke was thinking, he was proven correct as the detective let out an explosive rush of air. "God... fine, whatever."

Hiei moved from his chair to stand in front of Yusuke so fast the detective did a double take and staggered back. Hiei grabbed the shocked youth's hair behind his ear and pulled him down, ignoring the whine, until they were eye to eye. "You will obey me. If you do not, you will be punished. You will not try to escape. If you do, you will be executed."

Yusuke gulped, speaking quietly. "I noticed you didn't say anything about talking back." 'Hm, maybe I should shut up before I lose all my 'privileges'...'

But Hiei only smirked. "Actually, I rather enjoy our little banter. It fulfills any needs I have to speak to a sentient being, while dually making me feel infinitely superior."

"Guess you have to compensate somehow." Yusuke jibbed.

Hiei blinked slowly, tolerant, a smile crawling across his lips. "Do you understand me, Yusuke?"

"Uh... if by that you mean to understand that I'm your puppy dog and I don't run off, and everything is free reign, then yeah. Not that I can assure you I'd never try to escape." 'As I see it, I still got a few days to get out of here with that sword... Or not, who says I owe Koenma a damn thing? Still, he can't expect I won't try it eventually. Maybe I can trick him into thinking I won't- then he'll be too surprised...'

Hiei nodded. It was entirely too broad an allowance, as far as personal freedom went, and he could still see the burn of defiance in his eyes that so intrigued him, but he could add stipulations and expand on 'punishments' as they were needed. 'No need to say too much and clog up his poor little brain.'

"Good. Then instead of the loincloth and collar hanging on the other hook, you may choose anything to wear that you like." Hiei released him and turned to walk back to his chair. Yusuke made a noise in his throat. 'Second guessing yourself already, boy? Too late now.'

"Loincloth? Collar?? Wh-... what... exactly would you expect me to do? You've obviously never heard of a car, so I guess washing it won't be one of my chores- I just can't figure out why you... I mean, you said it yourself, you don't need me." Yusuke was getting exasperated, hands on his hips, obviously trying to work it out with his limited problem solving skills.

"I'm surprised that wasn't the first thing out of your mouth- not too quick on the uptake, are you? But you're right- I don't need you at all..." Hiei turned turned in his seat, a small bundle of deep purple grapes in his hand. He lifted the bunch to his lips. "But I do find that I want you." With a seductive smirk he slipped one grape between his lips and cleanly popped it off the stem to chew it languorously, his eyes trailing hotly up and down Yusuke's still slightly damp body.

Yusuke blanched, shaking his head slowly. "... no way. No WAY. You- you're going to make me sleep with you??" His voice had trailed off into dangerously hysterical territory, a bright blush coloring his cheeks.

Hiei stared the boy down until he had eaten the last of the grapes. Dropping the stems onto the tray and dusting his hands off on each other, he stood again, heading for the door. "Enjoy your meal, sleep when you feel tired, and in the morning, when you get up, meet me in the throne room. Good night."

"Och! But... but... Hey! ... Hiei?" He sounded completely at a loss.

"No, Yusuke, I am not going to make you to sleep with me." He turned, his hand poised on the door handle. Yusuke seemed just barely appeased. 'You will come to me- of your own will.' With one final burning look, Hiei left the detective to settle in to his new, temporary home.