Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction ❯ Nymphetamine ❯ I Make Boys Cry ( Chapter 4 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Nymphetamine

Disclaimer: Nope, I do not own them. This is an alternate Universe fic. And possibly a Crossover! And be for warned that there are a lot of my characters in this story. Also, there is a lot of sadness and rape and torture mixed with HINTS of love! Enjoy!

Begin Chapter Four: I Make Boys Cry…

I'm in Heaven when you kiss me; show me how you miss me. Take me with you back to Wonderland--Sunari

“Sunari…I don't think that I can do this for much longer my love…” My eyes were glazed over with unshed tears as I looked down at the only person who really loved me for what I was. There was no second guessing it. She was special…and I longed to be just the same. “I can't keep feeling this way toward him. Not when I know that some part of him will always love Kikyou.” I sank back, not knowing what to say. Leave it to Kagome to make me feel worthless. Above it all I love it though.

“I wish…that I could help you…but…I have never been in love before. I can't even begin to fathom the pain that you must be going through and I'd rather die then watch you suffer anymore. So I guess that I will do what you want…” My voice trailed off softly, my hair blowing in the bitter wind of the night. The moon was nearly invisible tonight but regardless, Kagome still watched it with a precision all its own.

“I want to be like you Sunari. I want to be free of this pain and guilt, and enjoy life for what it really is.” My eyebrow's creased. Oh, she had no idea what she wanted and no amount of convincing could pry her away from her current goal. “Cause one day I will die Sunari and I…want you to be the one to kill me.” My breath caught in my throat and my lungs became constricted. Did she really ask me to take her life? How…selfish.

“I will do no such thing Kagome.” I whispered, feeling my nails dig into my pants and into the flesh that lay beneath them. Kagome smiled and stared at me once again.

“But you will Sunari. I have foreseen it. And I would have it no other way.”

***

I shot up in bed, the sweat rolling down my face in a smooth motion. The sunlight glaring through the window caused me to shield my eyes from it. I groaned before slamming myself back down upon the bed and burying my face between the pillows. “Shit…” I mumbled. This place…where was I again? I creased my eyebrows together. Yusuke! I sat up once again and looked around. Yusuke was nowhere to be found and I sighed. Looking down at my legs I realized that I had been dressed properly. That was…nice of him.

Swinging my legs from the bed I set foot upon the cold floor. I cursed mentally rushing to get to the carpeted area that surrounded the rest of his house. How odd that he would want his room uncarpeted. I shrugged my shoulders feeling oddly stupid. Being here by myself…made me feel somewhat guilty. I stalked into the kitchen, and opened his fridge to rummage. My stomach was growling louder then my car radio and something told me that had to be unhealthy. The little yellow post it note on the tupper-wear before me attracted my attention first and I pulled it out to read it.

`Made breakfast this morning but didn't want to wake you. Here's your meal. Yusuke.'

I smiled happily and closed the door with my foot, searching for the microwave. How kind of him to make me something. I almost wish that I could have been awake to eat it with him. I shoved the food in the microwave and set it for one minute. Deciding to let curiosity get the best of me I walked into the living room and looked around. Yusuke wouldn't mind…would he? For a guy he had a lot of pictures. Leaning down, my golden eyes stared, transfixed on one person in general. The girl that I had come to call friend, with an emptiness in her eyes that no one could find the means to replace, I stared lovingly at the one I called `sister.' For a moment my heart stopped and the microwave beeped its readiness. I sighed softly. Where was that girl now?

“I took off early to see if you where still here. I must say, I didn't expect you to be reminiscing with old photos.” I smiled softly, cursing myself at the same time. How is that I didn't know he was here? I must be getting rusty at my old age.

“Where is she Yusuke?” I calmly asked, turning to face him. He had an almost sad smile on his face and somewhere in the back of my mind I didn't want to know. Crossing his arm's over his chest and moved slightly so that I could get my food from the microwave.

“I assume you mean Keiko. She died. Last year actually...” The food in my hand fell to the floor sloppily and Yusuke turned quickly to see that I was okay. I growled low within my chest and dropped to my knees, trying to pretend that he had not said what I knew I heard.

The beautiful woman who was so in love with Yusuke and had called me best friend since before I moved away…was gone. This hardly seemed fair. Did I even have a right to feel as I did now? Knowing that I had left her behind without a single thought in the world and never once said goodbye? Was I really that selfish? That I would put myself before my friends? And even now I can't help but smile. Cause I knew it all along. I would have been the Fool to save her…and now I'm the Sinner because I didn't. How ironic things were turning out to be. The one girl that I had not come here to mourn was breaking my heart slowly with the one past that I have still yet to accept.

His hand on my shoulder brought me back to a cold reality and I looked into his eyes. “There would be no reason to cry over it Sunari. Keiko left this world content and while you weren't there when she passed she thought of you constantly. Without regret and hate, but with love and adoration.” I sniffled slightly, trying hard not to cry. “However, if you need to cry I am right here. I can be your shoulder so you don't have to support yourself any longer. If that is what you want…”

I looked back down at the spilled food before falling onto my ass. Shoving my hands within my hair I let the tears fall from my face. I wasn't strong enough to do this. I couldn't be asked to bear such pain and yet I did it anyway. Refusing help always seemed the easiest. And at the same time the most foolish. Yusuke took a seat next to me, pulling my head onto my shoulder. I knew then…that he wanted more from me then I was able to give him and I turned to face him. “I can't bring her back Yusuke…” I whispered softly.

His eyes were downcast and I almost felt sorry, but at the same time I wanted to yell at him for not telling me what he wanted from me in the first place. “Kagome may have given my\e the Shikon no Tama…but that one wish is not reserved for you or me…she left it for Inuyasha and I'm back to find him.”

“Lie to me,” She whispered. “I love you.” He said.