Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction ❯ Playing a Fool ❯ Playing a Fool ( One-Shot )

[ P - Pre-Teen ]

PLAYING A FOOL
A Yu Yu Hakusho Songfic


Written by Miyu, Vampire Princess


AUTHOR'S NOTES:
Not sure when this idea appeared. Kind of out of the blue. I just hope if makes for a decent story. Based on the song, "Stupid" by Sarah McLachlan. A "She said, He said" take on a relationship that could be. Het genre. Non-lemon. A Standard Disclaimer follows the story.



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Night lift up the shades let in the brilliant light of morning
But steady me now for I am weak and starving for mercy
===============================================================


She awoke with a start. Had it been a dream?

Of course, she chastised herself. Her eyes confirmed it.

She was lying in a bed -- in HER bed, she told herself, looking at the ceiling. It wasn't as dark as it had been when she went to sleep, the first signs of dawn already coming over the horizon. Through the gray shadows she could make out her dresser, her desk and her bookshelf. Her school uniform hung neatly on the back of her door, her bookbag slouched against the wall by the desk.

Morning? Already?!

Turning her head, she looked to her left. In bright green neon, her clock showed 5:35AM. In another hour her alarm would be going off.

Sighing, she sat up, tossing her covers aside. Swinging her feet over the bed's edge she stretched like a cat, arching her back, arms over her head. A loud yawn escaped her widely parted lips. With another sigh, she stood and walked over to her dresser. Gathering the things she needed, she padded out into the hallway and over to the bathroom.

Sleep had been non-existent until very late. She'd been up thinking of HIM. It was silly. It was illogical. But she couldn't stop herself.

'I need to forget him,' she told herself as she stepped into the bath. 'It's over. It's all...over.'

She remembered his words like they were yesterday. Go back to the mortal world, he'd said. Go back to the life she knew. He didn't need her anymore. He'd found his place in the world. Was he even in THIS world?

Carefree, bull-headed and irrational he'd always been. But he was happy now. His eyes gleamed with satisfaction, his lips curved upward in contentment. His movements were fluid, his actions natural. And he'd laughed like she'd never heard him laugh before. Openly, without hindrance, without thought. It was difficult to believe, and even harder to swallow, but maybe...just maybe...he belonged in Makai.

Perhaps he really didn't need her anymore.

But she...she still needed him.

"I am SO glad that it's Friday."

The past week had been pure hell.

Between homework, student council and house chores, she was lucky if she got a moment to herself. She was also lucky if she passed that English test. She had tried to study, to concentrate, but it had been difficult. It wasn't her worst subject so her overall grade wouldn't suffer too much. Still, it irked her that he could still get to her even after being separated for nearly a year.

If only he hadn't showed up Monday morning, life would still be...relatively normal.


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Sleep has left me alone to carry the weight of unraveling where we went wrong
And all I can do to hang on, to keep me from falling into old familiar shoes
===============================================================


She was too surprised to speak, and only nodded when he asked, "Can I walk you to school?"

"What are you...doing here?"

He rolled his eyes at the question. "What? A guy can't visit a friend whenever he wants? Sheesh."

"It's just been...so long." She offered him a small smile. "How have you been?"

He took this as his chance to orate the past several months to her. She barely heard what he'd said. She caught Hiei's name, and Kurama's...and something about a tournament, although she blocked most of what he said after that out. She had enough memories of tournaments to last her the rest of her life.

What she did pay close attention to was the way he spoke, the emotion behind his words. His hands moved around frantically, mimicking fighting motions and huge explosions. There was such a look of joy on his face. His words were filled with equal emotion. She was happy for him, for his new life. She was happy that he was happy.

So then why was she so devoid of the emotion? Why didn't she feel joy at his joy? Happiness with his happiness?

Why did she feel as if she'd lost her best friend?

Maybe because she had.

When he reached a point where he realized he'd been babbling, he shoved his hands into his pockets and asked, "So...how have you been?"

She shrugged. "Okay, I guess."

He nodded to her school bag. "Drowning yourself in schoolwork, I bet."

"It's close to the end of the semester. Finals are coming up."

"Now there's one thing I don't miss. Exams. BLAH!"

She giggled. "Well, you know, if you would've studied they wouldn't have been so 'blah' as you put it."

"I don't miss studying either, or school in general," he replied. After a pause he continued, "As a matter of fact, there's very little about this world that I miss."

She tried not to let her heart break all over again. "Like what," she ventured.

"What?"

"What do you miss about this world?"

"Oh," he seemed somewhat taken off guard. He gave the question some serious thought. "Well, my mom for one. She may have been a bum but she's still my mom. I'm going to see her after I drop you off at school. She's probably drunk off her ass and won't know who I am.

"I miss Kuwabara, but don't tell him I said so! Granted I have better sparring partners now, but once in a while I still get the urge to bust his chops for something. He hasn't been giving you any trouble at school or anything has he?"

She shook her head.

"Crap, one less reason to beat him up." He sighed. "Oh well, next time maybe. Then there's Genkai. She was a real pain in the ass, still is I'd wager, but I respect her. Once in a while I do miss the old girl, but only once in a while."

He grew silent and she ventured some more, "Anything else?"

"Not really." He shrugged. "There's you, of course. Although I do like it better this way, without you yelling, screaming or trying to beat me to a bloody pulp."

"If you hadn't been such a jerk most of the time, I wouldn't have had to scream, yell or beat you to a bloody pulp."

"Yeah, well, okay so maybe I deserved it -- sometimes -- but I sure as hell don't miss it." He looked up at the sky and smiled. "Anyhow, I'm happy with the way things are now." He looked over at her. "Aren't you?

"I guess." She stopped walking leaving Yusuke to walk several paces in front of her before he, too, stopped.

"Keiko?"

She nodded towards the large gate beside her, her smile faltering. "This is it."

"Oh."


===============================================================
How stupid could I be
a simpleton could see
that you're no good for me
but you're the only one I see
===============================================================


He left her standing at the gate with no more than a wave of his hand and a short good-bye. She stood there, watching his back as he walked away. She could have stopped him. Invited him into the school if only for a short time. Hell she should've stopped him right there and then and told him everything. Maybe...just maybe he would've stayed.

But she couldn't infringe on his happiness.

Even for her own.

She hated herself. Loathed. And over time that self-depreciation turned into a depression.

The depression then became a famine.

She was practically starved for his company, his nearness. Of course, she had other friends to whom she could confide and spend time. But they didn't compare to him. They didn't understand, nor would they or so she was convinced.

Then there were the upperclassmen who offered to take her out to dinner, or a movie. It wasn't that they didn't have charm or looks. In fact some of them were rather intelligent individuals...and good looking to boot! But because he lingered in her thoughts, she couldn't enjoy the time spent with any of them. She felt horrible accepting their offers when she knew it was all one-sided and eventually turned them all down.

And to top it all off, she had a secret admirer.

He left brief letters, sometimes small bouquets of flowers or tiny boxes full of her favorite candies. Her friends met her at her locker every morning to see what new present her admirer had left. They thought it was totally cool. It was all rather sweet, she concurred, but so long as Yusuke Urameshi remained in her thoughts, she could never love someone else let alone entertain the thought.

"Why," she muttered to herself as she gathered her school bag and headed out the front door of her home. "Why me?"

She closed the door, making sure it was shut securely, then stepped onto the walkway that would lead her to school.

"Why am I such a fool?"


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love has made me a fool set me on fire and watched as I floundered
unable to speak except to cry out and wait for your answer
===============================================================


He felt like such a fool.

Sitting, huddled and bundled in a tree, was not his idea of a good morning.

And yet, he's done this every morning for nearly a year.

And every morning it's the same thing. Watch her through her window. Listen closely to the water as she showers and bathes. Look away when she changes her clothes. Then follow her after she leaves her house to make sure she arrives at school safe and sound.

It's a fool's errand really. Love makes people do stupid things. Things they normally wouldn't do. He could think of a number of things to do with his morning. Before, they had nothing to do with her. Before, he could care less about her...about all those silly humans. Amusing as they were, he would've reveled in their destruction. Before, he would have gladly joined in the fray. Before, he would've taken out his frustrations on the nearest bystander, innocent or no.

Before...he fell in love.

To top it all off, she has no idea. None. Yukina tried to convince him to talk to her. To tell her how he felt. Be up front, she said. Don't hide in the shadows.

But it's in the shadows where he feels the most comfortable.

Still, he managed to do little things. Of late he'd taken to leaving gifts and flowers in her locker at school. They weren't much -- he had a hell of a time convincing Kurama to buy the chocolates for him -- but he hoped they would be enough.

Love can turn even the most bitter of men into fools.

With a sigh, he stood from his perch, waiting until she was far enough down the street before jumping off after her. He would remain on the sidelines. He would remain in the shadows. He would continue to make sure she was safe.

'I really am a fool.'

===============================================================
and you come around in your time speaking of fabulous places
create an oasis that dries up as soon as your gone
you leave me here burning in this desert without you
===============================================================

Yes, he loved her.

The moment of realization hit him so hard it wasn't funny.

It had been in the middle of a battle. Of all places.

Their foe was strong. He and Kurama had been called in as a last resort. Yusuke had been doing pretty well on his own. But he was tiring. And on top of that, he had to protect her. She wasn't in the way. She had this knack for being able to disappear quickly when a battle ensued. But in their current setting, there was no where to disappear to, and there were plenty of demons to track her whereabouts.

Yusuke, being his usual bone-headed self, entrusted his companion to the other two youkai. It was a boring fight, from his point of view anyway, but he couldn't complain. Death and dismemberment were two of his favorite pastimes.

But having to listen to her scream and yell...it was all he could do not to throw her to the onslaught.

"I think Yusuke needs a bit of assistance."

He grabbed the other man's arm in a grip of death. "You are not leaving me here to deal with...her...are you?"

Kurama smiled. "Not on purpose." He leaned in closer. "You've dealt with worse."

"True."

"You are the one who can best defend this position," he said more loudly, clearly for her to hear above the noise of battle. "I'll go in to help Yusuke."

"It's too dangerous," she said, nearly panicked.

Kurama shook his head. "If I do not help, Yusuke will not survive."

She paled visibly.

And without another word, Kurama joined the lead battle.

He occupied himself with fighting the occasional demon that wandered their way. They were no match for him, however, and he started to grow bored. With his eyes on his own battle, he watched the others through his Jagen eye. They were fairing better since Kurama joined the battle. But they were still outnumbered. He could see the approaching horde and knew that their mission was far from finished.

"What's going on? Are you all right?!"

He huffed, wiping a small streak of blood from his lip. The last demon managed to get in a hit. Unforgivable.

"I'm fine. But the others--"

"What about them? Are they all right?"

"The fight is far from over," he told her.

"But what if they're hurt?! What if WE get hurt?"

He growled to himself. She was spouting nonsense. Not exactly the norm for her. No, normally she was quiet or absent during their battles. He silently wished that this time had been no different.

"No one's getting hurt," he stated as calmly as possible.

She sighed, her voice lowering. "Why the hell do you have to fight anyway?"

He turned to her, just in time to see a smaller demon approaching. Damn, he had slipped. Thrusting himself forward, he pulled his sword. Keiko ducked, the look of panic on her face a question and a plea. When she realized he was attacking another demon and not her, she must have been relieved, although it hardly showed. Not until the demon was vanquished and he stood beside her.

"Thank goodness. For a moment I thought--!"

He shouldn't have done it, but he did. He reached for her. And the moment he touched her is when he felt it. A shock. A major jolt through his system that closed a million pathways and opened up a million more. His eyes widened, his mind comprehending what she could not. Although the surprised look on her face made him wonder.

With a snarl he pulled her close. The movement caused his entire body to tense, her closeness causing his heart to pound against his chest. In his frustration and confusion, he growled, "You are under my protection, whether you like it or not. This is not the time nor place to be complaining."

"But--?"

"Not another word." He released her then, though a bit reluctantly. The electricity in his system was telling him to pull her closer. To be nearer, not farther. But he stepped away from her nonetheless. "Here they come."

Without further argument he turned away from her preparing for a second wave of demons heading their way. He took his growing frustration out on the lower class youkai, clearing his mind and focusing only on the battle at hand. He paid little mind to the human he was protecting, afraid that if he did, he'd do something...stupid. It was not in his nature to try and impress, but he had hoped her newfound silence was out of awe, not out of fear.

Then, when the battle was over, he took off without a word to anyone.

She went with him, wherever he went. Thoughts of her filled his every waking moment, and his dreams. It was as if that one touch had burned her into his mind, imprinted her in memory. Granted he had thought about her before, those were easily tossed aside. Forgotten.

But not any more.

It angered him that thoughts of her would fill him so completely. It was worse than getting under the skin. She seeped through his pores, ran through his blood. It was wrong, he told himself. Wrong that he should think of her...especially when she was with someone else.

That thought only angered him further.

He had been sparring with Yusuke, visiting the young man in Makai, when he learned the news.

"Splitting up?"

"Yeah," Yusuke replied. "It was just the right thing to do."

"You are...not upset?"

Yusuke threw a punch that would've landed on his jaw if he hadn't moved. Yeah, he was upset, even if he wouldn't admit it. "Not really. It'll be different not having her around, not seeing her on a regular basis." The young man shrugged. "But at least I don't have to hear her yell at me all the time, either."

"That is annoying."

"Heh! Hiei, you have no idea."

Her voice in his mind. Her laugh in his ears. Pictures of her floating around in his thoughts.

He had a clue.

===============================================================
How stupid could I be
a simpleton could see
that you're no good for me
but you're the only one I see
===============================================================

Shortly after that conversation he started watching her. Only occasionally at first. He would make it a point to see her whenever he knew she was close. He would watch her through his third eye when she was not. It was a lot like spying, but he felt no remorse or guilt.

In fact, it was more like payback.

Thoughts of her unnerved him, excited him, and frustrated him to no end. Whether he was awake or asleep made no difference. Fighting no longer took the edge off his thoughts. A work out would only serve to frustrate him more. So he followed her. It was the only way to get her out of his mind, if only for a short time. Let her think she was being watched. Let her think she was being stalked.

But she never once knew he was there.

The daily routines started only a few months ago. He would go through the motions of his morning workout, then perch outside her house. He watched as she prepared for school, his eyes lingering certain times when they should not. He watched her as she walked to school. Most days she was alone. Occasionally one of her friends would be with her. And he was certainly surprised when Yusuke showed up one day, unannounced. He waited for her to toss him out on his ass.

The simply walked together instead.

It had only been a short time ago, and he knew better than to question himself. But seeing Yusuke with her...it made him question everything. Did he really love her? Would she ever love him? What the hell did she see in Yusuke?!

After a short deliberation, he decided that he was in love. Whether or not a human would consider the intensity of his affections as love remained to be seen. But the fact remained that he cared for the young human woman. And despite what his colleague felt towards her, he was going to have her. One way or another. But that begged another question.

How was he going to tell her?

That's when the presents started appearing.

He had watched her enough to have an idea of what she liked. He knew her favorite candy, her favorite colors. The notes were taken from greeting cards. Things he knew she'd like to hear even if he would never actually say them himself. He stole a few of the gifts, but for the most part suffered the human act of shopping.

It had never been more insufferable than the day he'd convinced Kurama to aid him.

"What about this?"

"What about it?"

"I think she'll like it."

"I think you like it. Kurama, this is a gift for a young woman...not your mother."

"Are you implying my mother's old?"

"Well...she is, isn't she?"

"Yes, I suppose she is. And you're right, we're not here to look for gifts for my mother." He muttered something in response to which Kurama quirked an eyebrow at his companion. "If you're too uncomfortable here, there are other stores we could check out that have...less people."

"I...just want to get this over with."

"All right then. Let's check out the candy store. What did you say she liked again?"

"Some type of gum...in the shape of a ball. And the gummy things that look like fish."

"Anything else?"

"Some sort of...chocolate? Yes, that's what it is."

"There are different types of chocolate, Hiei."

He paused in mid-stride. "You're kidding, right?"

"No."

He groaned. "Let's just look. I'll...guess...if I have to."

Kurama barely held back a chuckle.

But the chocolate he picked was exactly what she liked, so he couldn't complain TOO much.

And it made her smile.

If he could have nothing else, he would have her smile.

From his position outside the school, he could see the lockers clearly, his eyes focused on one student in particular. He watched as a small group gathered around her. Watched as she approached with her friends.

Watched...and waited.


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everything changes
everything falls apart
===============================================================


"What did he leave you today, Keiko?"

She sighed. "I don't know. I haven't opened my locker yet."

"Well, what are you waiting for?"

"Yeah, open it up!"

With a shake of her head, she sat her school bag on the ground and opened her locker. Books were piled and strewn all about, very unlike her normal tidy habits. But it wasn't her books or the mess that caught her attention. Her friends gathered closely around her to peer inside as she gasped.

"Oh my gosh!"

"Would you look at that?"

Sitting on top of her history book was a flower. A long-stemmed rose. The petals were a vibrant, glowing white.

"It's so pretty!"

"Here, let me hold it."

While her friends admired the flower, something else caught her attention. A yellow envelope sat neatly on top of her history book, so small it was hidden by the petals of the rose. She picked it up, her friends still fawning over the white flower. With awe and something akin to fear, she opened the envelope.

Inside...was a note.

"I am with you always...whether you like it or not."

Her heart skipped a beat. It sounded so much like Yusuke. But Yusuke would've been more direct. And the handwriting certainly wasn't his.

"You are under MY protection, whether you like it or NOT!"

Eyes widening, she remembered something said to her not too long ago. A year maybe. Had it been that long? It was one of the last times she had been with Yusuke while he was working a case. Things had gotten pretty rough. Yusuke was badly hurt, but he kept on fighting. She had been left in the care of the two demons who often fought at his side. And while one easily calmed her mind, it was the other that had so easily sworn the command.

"....whether you like it or NOT!"

'Could...it be?!'

As impossible as it was to grasp, her mind quickly latched onto the thought. She began looking around her, searching frantically. But there was nothing. No sign of him.

"Keiko, is something wrong?"

"Is that a note?"

"What's it say?"

She shook her head, stuffing the letter quickly into her bag and closing her locker. "Just a blank piece of paper. Let's hurry or we'll be late."

As the group took off across the courtyard, her eyes caught something in the massive oak tree in the center. Her friends pulled her along, and she couldn't see clearly, but she had this strange feeling...that she was being watched.

"I am with you always...."

Just before her friends pulled her into the classroom, she caught sight of a familiar shadow.

And smiled.


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I can't stand to feel myself losing control
in the deep of my weakness I know
===============================================================


Was that--? Yes! She smiled. She SMILED!

And it was directed right at him.

Through is elation, he cursed himself for his inattentiveness. She had seen him! Correction, almost seen him. Almost...although he couldn't be certain. The oak in which he hid was a large tree. And shadows could blend together....

But...what if she had?

It mattered little. Even if she did see him, she would never approach him. And if she tried to approach him he would be gone in an instant.

It was more for her sake than for his. His way of keeping her safe...and remaining in the shadows. For all of his being he loved her, but he had no idea how he'd react around her. The feelings he had felt that day, while confusing and most frustrating, were also insanely intense. He had no wish to hurt her, but every wish to have her. It balled within in him even now, like an evil presence.

DING! DING! DONG!

The school bell brought him out of his thoughts. As the classroom doors began to close, and the students emptied the hallways, he took his leave. It was time to get on with his other daily activities. To forget about her, if only for a short while.

For now, he would take her smile. He would be content in the knowledge that...perhaps...she knew the truth. Maybe one day he'd have the courage to confront her.

Maybe...he wouldn't be such a fool.

===============================================================
How stupid could I be
a simpleton could see
that you're no good for me
but you're the only one I see
===============================================================

~OWARI~


DISCLAIMER:
Yu Yu Hakusho is the property of Yoshihiro Togashi/Shueisha - Fuji TV - PIERROT and licensed by FUNimation Productions Ltd. They're not mine, you hear me! Don't own them...although I wouldn't mind keeping Hiei chained to my bed. All characters are used here without permission. Please do not sue. No money is being made from the production of this story, therefore I have no money to give away.

"Stupid" appears on Sarah McLachlan's album "Afterglow" (c) 2003 Arista Records, Inc.