Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction ❯ Pretending Or Is This Real ❯ Wake Up Darkness ( Chapter 5 )
[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]
By: Vapidbreath 
Hiei's better and he wants to see Kurama.
Anime/Manga: Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Angst / Romance / Drama | Type: Alternate Universe | Uploaded On: 09.17.2004 | Pages: 1 | Words: 1.1K | Visits: 200 | Status: Completed
Hiei's better and he wants to see Kurama.
Anime/Manga: Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Angst / Romance / Drama | Type: Alternate Universe | Uploaded On: 09.17.2004 | Pages: 1 | Words: 1.1K | Visits: 200 | Status: Completed
Pretending or is This Real
By: Vapid Breath
Disclaimer: I do not own YYH or any other anime.
Warning(s): This story contains yaoi, cursing, attempted suicide, and maybe character death. That is a big maybe.
Author's note(s): I hope that it isn't to short. I'm trying to update whenever possible.
E-mail: Vapidfemale@aol.com or Obsessionanime@aol.com
Chapter Five
"How's he doing?" A voice. I know that voice. It's the same voice that haunts me in the land of dreams. Kurama.
"He seems to be awakening now. Would you like to see him?" Slowly I began opening my eyes. Everything was a blur. I could make out the three figures hovering around me. Opening my eyes a bit more my sight began to focus.
"Oh, Hiei. I'm so glad your awake." Yukina attached herself to my side. Hugging me tightly. Kurama just stood there. He had a look of sadness in his eyes. It didn't suit him. Someone like him should never be sad.
Beside him stood a man with a white coat on. I assumed him to be the doctor. He watched us and waited a minute before he began to speak.
"Hello, I'm Dr. Taisho. Do you know what happened?" I remember darkness and a voice.
Taking my silence as an answer he began to tell me. "We found Methyldopa, Thiazide diuretics, sulfadoxine, and pyrimethamine in your system. We were forced to pump your stomach to remove the poison. How do you feel?"
"Tired. I feel exhausted and weak. I want to leave." Weakness. Something I thought I'd never feel. Something I didn't think I'd admit to a stranger or even worse Him.
"Don't worry about that. Those are just some side effect from the drugs. It will not last longer than a week or maybe two. I can't permit you to leave unless you have someone to take care of you." The doctor paused a moment before asking, "How did the drugs get in your system?"
I couldn't look at anyone. I didn't want Yukina to look down on me. I didn't want Kurama to feel sorry for me. I didn't want some doctor acting as if he knows what I'm going through.
"If your were unwillingly drugged I can't let you go without the police checking in on this. I really need for you to tell me. Would you like to talk alone?"
"I took them. I did it to myself." Not another word was spoken. I closed my eyes not able to look at anyone. I could hear Yukina sobbing at my side and felt guilt for the first time in my life. I had let the one person who loved me with no selfish intentions down. I didn't mean for any of this to happen.
Finally reopening my eyes, I looked around the room. My eyes just happened to land on Kurama. He hadn't spoken to me since I first awoke. I wish I could read minds. I long to know what thoughts entangle themselves in Kurama's head.
***-----***-----***
A week. It had been a week since I left the hospital. Yukina was given the responsibility to take care of me. I've always seemed to heal faster when I'm with her. It had also been a week since I last saw Kurama. It was like he was avoiding me. I hadn't been to school because of my condition. I was still tired all the time and my muscles felt weak and useless. I hated every second of it.
I need Kurama like I needed the those pills. He's an addiction with far worse withdrawal symptoms than any drug I've tried.
I was startled when I heard a familiar ringing. I stood up from the chair I'd been sitting in and went to the source of the noise. Reaching it I picked up the receiver and said in my usual tone," Speak."
"Hiei." Nothing else needed to be said for me to know who it was. It was the voice I'd been needing to hear for over a week.
"I've missed you." It's funny for me to say that. Why would I miss him? I fell in love with him, went on one date with him, let him know that I tried to commit suicide and still I don't know how he feels about me.
"Why did you do it?" So many answers to that one question. I did it because I let a foolish emotion like love destroy my life. I did it because I only caused pain to my sister who was cursed to love me. I did it because I learned early that people will pretend to love you to get what they want.
"I did it because it's better to burn out then to fade away."
"Suicide is not the answer. There is neither honor nor redemption in that."
I didn't respond. Why would I? Why should I? He was right. I had become what I saw in others. Weak. Pathetic. Worthless. I couldn't take life so I tried to end it. I was running away instead of facing my problems. I was being a coward. Living in fear. The one thing I didn't think I was capable of.
None of this makes since. I was taught that death was supposed to come before surrender. I chose death before I surrendered to the pain of life. Why is this shit so confusing?
"Hiei? Are you still there?"
"I need to see you. Now." I hung up. Not caring about what else you have to say. I know you'll come. I don't know how I know. I just do.
pretendingoristhisrealpretendingoristhisrealpretendingoristhisrealpreten dingoristhisrealpr
"Suicide is not the answer. There is neither honor nor redemption in that." Kurama
That is an actual quote from Kurama that I decided to use. I will have a lemon in the next chapter. I hope... Thank you to all who read and reviewed. It means alot to me. If there are any suggestions feel free to e-mail them or put them in a review. Please read and review my other stories if you do or don't like this story. Thank you. - VB
By: Vapid Breath
Disclaimer: I do not own YYH or any other anime.
Warning(s): This story contains yaoi, cursing, attempted suicide, and maybe character death. That is a big maybe.
Author's note(s): I hope that it isn't to short. I'm trying to update whenever possible.
E-mail: Vapidfemale@aol.com or Obsessionanime@aol.com
Chapter Five
"How's he doing?" A voice. I know that voice. It's the same voice that haunts me in the land of dreams. Kurama.
"He seems to be awakening now. Would you like to see him?" Slowly I began opening my eyes. Everything was a blur. I could make out the three figures hovering around me. Opening my eyes a bit more my sight began to focus.
"Oh, Hiei. I'm so glad your awake." Yukina attached herself to my side. Hugging me tightly. Kurama just stood there. He had a look of sadness in his eyes. It didn't suit him. Someone like him should never be sad.
Beside him stood a man with a white coat on. I assumed him to be the doctor. He watched us and waited a minute before he began to speak.
"Hello, I'm Dr. Taisho. Do you know what happened?" I remember darkness and a voice.
Taking my silence as an answer he began to tell me. "We found Methyldopa, Thiazide diuretics, sulfadoxine, and pyrimethamine in your system. We were forced to pump your stomach to remove the poison. How do you feel?"
"Tired. I feel exhausted and weak. I want to leave." Weakness. Something I thought I'd never feel. Something I didn't think I'd admit to a stranger or even worse Him.
"Don't worry about that. Those are just some side effect from the drugs. It will not last longer than a week or maybe two. I can't permit you to leave unless you have someone to take care of you." The doctor paused a moment before asking, "How did the drugs get in your system?"
I couldn't look at anyone. I didn't want Yukina to look down on me. I didn't want Kurama to feel sorry for me. I didn't want some doctor acting as if he knows what I'm going through.
"If your were unwillingly drugged I can't let you go without the police checking in on this. I really need for you to tell me. Would you like to talk alone?"
"I took them. I did it to myself." Not another word was spoken. I closed my eyes not able to look at anyone. I could hear Yukina sobbing at my side and felt guilt for the first time in my life. I had let the one person who loved me with no selfish intentions down. I didn't mean for any of this to happen.
Finally reopening my eyes, I looked around the room. My eyes just happened to land on Kurama. He hadn't spoken to me since I first awoke. I wish I could read minds. I long to know what thoughts entangle themselves in Kurama's head.
***-----***-----***
A week. It had been a week since I left the hospital. Yukina was given the responsibility to take care of me. I've always seemed to heal faster when I'm with her. It had also been a week since I last saw Kurama. It was like he was avoiding me. I hadn't been to school because of my condition. I was still tired all the time and my muscles felt weak and useless. I hated every second of it.
I need Kurama like I needed the those pills. He's an addiction with far worse withdrawal symptoms than any drug I've tried.
I was startled when I heard a familiar ringing. I stood up from the chair I'd been sitting in and went to the source of the noise. Reaching it I picked up the receiver and said in my usual tone," Speak."
"Hiei." Nothing else needed to be said for me to know who it was. It was the voice I'd been needing to hear for over a week.
"I've missed you." It's funny for me to say that. Why would I miss him? I fell in love with him, went on one date with him, let him know that I tried to commit suicide and still I don't know how he feels about me.
"Why did you do it?" So many answers to that one question. I did it because I let a foolish emotion like love destroy my life. I did it because I only caused pain to my sister who was cursed to love me. I did it because I learned early that people will pretend to love you to get what they want.
"I did it because it's better to burn out then to fade away."
"Suicide is not the answer. There is neither honor nor redemption in that."
I didn't respond. Why would I? Why should I? He was right. I had become what I saw in others. Weak. Pathetic. Worthless. I couldn't take life so I tried to end it. I was running away instead of facing my problems. I was being a coward. Living in fear. The one thing I didn't think I was capable of.
None of this makes since. I was taught that death was supposed to come before surrender. I chose death before I surrendered to the pain of life. Why is this shit so confusing?
"Hiei? Are you still there?"
"I need to see you. Now." I hung up. Not caring about what else you have to say. I know you'll come. I don't know how I know. I just do.
pretendingoristhisrealpretendingoristhisrealpretendingoristhisrealpreten dingoristhisrealpr
"Suicide is not the answer. There is neither honor nor redemption in that." Kurama
That is an actual quote from Kurama that I decided to use. I will have a lemon in the next chapter. I hope... Thank you to all who read and reviewed. It means alot to me. If there are any suggestions feel free to e-mail them or put them in a review. Please read and review my other stories if you do or don't like this story. Thank you. - VB