Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction ❯ Product of Nightmares ❯ Wake Up ( Chapter 1 )

Ok, It's 1:45 in the morning and I just woke up. I had been having this wonderful dream (that just so happened to involve the main characters in this story) and it changed on me!! I found myself sitting in a car with no roof or windows at night when I KNEW that all those funny shapes moving in the shadows were rabbits and groundhogs with rabies. I know it sounds stupid, but it's scary enough that I don't want to go back to sleep. *shivers* And I'm not lying about my nightmare. That's really what happened. That and the groundhog climbed trees….

Hiei - *stares*

Ok, back to the point. I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho, and I don't know what's going to happen in this fic. I just woke up for crying out loud. Hiei's thoughts may be OOC, but I think when he actually talks he'll sound like the fire-demon we all love.

Warning - This story will be yaoi, though nothing serious. Hence the rating. *points* Mostly thoughts, from a Hiei point of view.

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"N-No!!" I said, sitting up. I doubt I said the words out loud, but they were the last thoughts I had in the dream. Which, thanks to the Jagan, I could remember all to well.

No, don't think about that! It shows weakness! Or does not wanting to think about it show weakness? Or dreaming it at all? I shiver, pulling my cloak closer and assuring myself I had my katana, in case anything from my mind decides to present itself to this world.

Not that that's possible. I think, trying to stop my body from trembling. God damn it. I flit away from the tree I had slept in, and decided to go to a place I felt safer. I kept my mind on more pleasant things then the dream, and forgot where I had set my course until I stood on a branch in front of the window. I blinked and sat down on the branch. I already felt better, safer, so I didn't need to go inside. Besides, none of the lights were on. The fox, and his whole family for that matter, were sleeping.

I look up from my new perch into the window to see him. I felt my breath hitch, though you wouldn't have heard it were you next to me, and my heart start to beat slightly faster. He is beautiful. That's the only way to describe it. His blood red locks cascading across the pillow, with a few stray strands whispering across his face. I had a sudden urge to go move that hair away from his face so I could see its features better.

I found myself standing close to the window again with my hand on the frame. No. This is stupid. I should never have let my guard down. I moved away from the window and sat again, watching the moonlight play across his face.

I realize, sitting there watching him sleep, that I have let my guard down far too many times where the fox is involved. I've let myself think of his as a friend. And wish he were more.

No! I will not let these stupid, weak, ningen emotions affect the way I think about my comrade.

I blink and look back in the window and feel a slight smile pull at the corners of my mouth and quickly suppress the action.

They already have…

It was dark when I came, and it's dark now. I have no clue what time it is. Honestly, I couldn't care less. I have much more pressing matters to deal with then how long I've been sitting here. All of them involving the fox and my newly realized emotions.

I'm not stupid enough to delude myself and think these feelings are new. I may not have realized I had them, but they were there before. I just wonder when they started and if I can get rid of them. No, how soon I could get rid of them. I'm a demon. I don't need emotions. I've lived with out them for this long, why would I need them now?

I find myself wondering if that's true. Just because I never cared whether a creature lived or died before this doesn't mean I didn't have emotions. Maybe I'm just becoming too soft, sitting here. I've been yelling at myself in my head about weakness, yet I still sit here watching him. Mesmerized by his breathing, the way his hair's falling, even the slight smile that's playing across his face.

I wonder what he's dreaming about. I watch his eye lids twitch and proceed to lift. A small frown replaces the smile as he sits up, rubbing the deep green eyes that I hadn't realized I'd been longing to see. He blinked again and stood, facing the window. He walks over to it and opens it, trying to see me. I'm glad it's my habit to sit in the darkest spot I can find.

"Hiei, what are you doing here? It's-" He turns around to look at something in his room. "3:00 in the morning."

I debate answering and watch his confused expression from my position. Even now his beauty's amazing, with the moonlight bathing his features, making his hair look paler and his eyes more vibrant.

"I know you're there. You might as well answer; I can stand here all night." He peers unobtrusively into the shadows, trying to find my exact location, as if making eyes contact with me would make me answer truthfully.

Hn. Stupid fox. I'll never answer that question correctly. How would I explain to him that I felt safe from my own dream here without revealing my newly discovered feelings for him?

I may admit to myself that he means more to me then he should, but I'm not going to tell him that. He doesn't need to know. Besides, he would reject me. How could he not? I'm the Forbidden Child. I shouldn't even exist. How could any one not reject me? My own people did without a second thought…

"Hiei?" His voice pulls me from my thoughts and I look to see his face contorted with worry. Why would he worry about me?

I decide to answer to erase the expression from his features. He's too beautiful to worry about me…

"Hn?"

His eyes finally find my perch. He still can't see me, it's far too dark, but he knows where I am. "Why are you here?" He asks, sounding concerned. Why is he concerned? Why does he wonder?

"Why?" I answer, monosyllabic as always. I'm not good at saying my thoughts out loud. Or anything else.

He blinks as if he can't comprehend my question. He actually might not know what I meant. There are a few `why's' I could be asking. I think I might be asking them all.

"Why do I ask? Because you were training and I haven't sensed you around for awhile. Usually when you come here after training you're injured." He explains, not bothering to look in my direction but instead towards the moon. It's mostly full right now and reflects off his eyes.

"Hn." I'm not hurt. I came because I was scared of a dream. Sue me.

He frowns slightly. He's probably trying to figure out the thoughts behind the grunt. "Will you answer my question now? You're obviously not injured. I answered yours. Unless there's a different `why' that you meant. In that case, be more specific."

He has a point. I suppose I do owe him an answer. I sigh silently and try to find away to answer that doesn't expose me. If I let him find out, I'll just get hurt. Everyone else I let get close has, and I've let him closer. What can I do to explain my actions? I don't even know if I know why I'm sitting here right now. Sure, I felt safer, but why? Why did I set my course here? Why did I automatically go to him when I was scared?

He smiles slightly before speaking. "Sometimes I wonder if you don't answer me because you don't want to or you can't. Or maybe that you don't trust me with the answer. Perhaps you find holding a conversation with me so bad as to hope to bore me away with unresponsiveness."

My eyes widen slightly and before I know exactly what I'm doing I'm standing beside him in his room staring at him with my mask firmly in place.

He blinks, surprised by my swift change in location. "Hiei?" He sounds confused. I can't see his face as clearly now, but he can see mine. The moonlight stings my eyes slightly as I stare into his shadowed eyes.

I don't even think about my next move. My body seems to have a mind of its own right now. First bringing me to the fox's window, and then trying to get me to go in. It proceeded to make me enter his room, and now this. I stood on my toes for a moment to bring my face closer to his and swiftly placed a light kiss on his lips. Just as quickly I took a step back.

"Go with the second." I state in a monotone and my body is yet again under my control. I feel my eyes widen slightly at my actions and see the look of disbelief on the fox's face. I flit away before I can see the rest of his reaction, putting as much distance as possible between him and me.

Damn it! How could I do that? How could I let myself do that? He's going to hate me!!

I allowed my self to stop when I reached Genkai's temple, and sat in yet another tree. Perhaps I'll try to sleep, but for some reason I think it will allude me for awhile. I hadn't realized how tired I was until now, but I doubt my thoughts will allow me much rest. I sit there with an appearance of calm and watch the sunrise peacefully over the trees and allow my thoughts to fight it out amongst themselves.

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That was…. Interesting. *blinks* I honestly wrote that as I went. I don't think that was very good…

Hiei - *stares at page* You make me sound pathetic, onna. *glares*

*sigh* I know. It's 3:00 in the morning. Give me a break. This was SUPPOSED to be a one shot, but if some people review and like it, I'll write more. It sounds like it's supposed to go on anyway.

Well *blinks* Review, if you liked it I'll try to continue, if you didn't *shrugs* I won't write when I wake up from nightmares about rabid bunnies anymore.

Goodnight!! And remember to review on your way out! *points towards a door*