Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction ❯ Quoth The Rayvin ❯ Every Year, Every Christmas ( Chapter 11 )

Song: Every Year, Every Christmas- Luther Vandross

Anime: YuYu Hakusho- Togashi Yoshihiro

Fanfic: Quoth The Rayvin- ChaosMage

It was Christmas again. Of course, he wasn't Christian, and neither were many of his friends, but the holidays were a festive time of year that they loved to celebrate.

No one saw how much he hurt inside.

The days in the last few weeks of December were not to be wasted, and he refused to ruin everyone else's mood with his misery. But as far as he was concerned, Christmas was something devised in Hell to kill him slowly once a year.

Why did it pain him so?, you wonder.

Because she had died as the clock struck twelve on Christmas day. She had killed herself and whispered how much she loved him as she bled. She had given him her power to see ghosts, and yet he could never find her. Nine years ago, she had left him forever.

I don't know how love could do this to me
I've waited and waited for someone I never see
But I'm so sentimental, and I'm so hopeful you'll be there
So, here I am every year, every Christmas

Every year he made the trek to her grave, hoping to catch a glimpse of her. Christmas Eve would find him sitting in front of the stone that marked an empty tomb, staring listlessly at the top, searching for her. The clock in town would strike midnight, and his breath would hitch as he waited eagerly only to be disappointed yet again. He never cried over it.

The suffering was beyond tears.

She had once said that ghosts haunt the places where they felt most attached. Then why hadn't he ever seen her? Had she lied to him?

I've wished for you in my heart and in my head
And I got my answer that first moment that we met
And, oh yes, I believed you as you told me, as you said
You'd be here every year, every Christmas

It had been a whirlwind romance. He'd barely even been sure that she loved him. But there was something in her violet eyes that responded to the fervor in his own. Something she couldn't have faked. It seemed fated that they were to meet...but then why had it ended so violently?

All he could think about was how the hot lead had driven thorough her heart. Her face as she had stared up at him, telling them she had only wanted him to be happy. His cowardice as he bowed his head, afraid to watch her kill him, not trusting that she wouldn't. Had he been looking, he may have been able to stop her from shooting herself after she killed D'Vertola. Had he been looking, she may have lived.

There must be a lesson for me to learn
If you don't trust in love, you'll get nothing in return
Why should I be lonely, don't tell me it's right
I have my pride, but I'd rather be with you tonight

She had borne one daughter by him, a pretty little girl by the name of Kurohane. She looked so much like her father, with a mane of black hair that shone red in the light, and large emerald eyes that mirrored his own. His foster son, however, looked exactly like his real father. He was thirteen now, and already he was the very image of Kuronue. There were also traces of his mother and uncle in his thin face, but the boy was nothing like the three of them. Soft-spoken and highly intelligent, Kage was already in high school and doing anything possible to make his Otouchan, as he called Kurama, proud of him. Which he was, and he was certain that wherever his parents were, they were smiling at their young son.

So much emotion, it's driving me mad
But I'll take my chances with these feelings that I have
And I'll come back to this same corner where we met
And I'll be here every year, every Christmas

For the ninth time in his life he walked through the gates of the graveyard and located the black granite stone he had chosen for Rayvin. Situating himself in front of it, he became almost invisible in the shadow that the grave cast over him, his sole illumination the soft moonlight. He didn't see the small group of people watching him, hidden in the branches of the weeping willow nearby.

Mere words can't explain the pain and the fear
'Cause oh, I wonder, yes, I wonder are you gonna leave me standing here
Today's almost over, but I don't want to leave
Has my heart made a fool out of me?

They had wondered why he went this day every year to that grave. `RAYVIN,' it proclaimed, and underneath it read `Omnia vincit amor; et nos cedamus amori... Ave atque vale.' It had taken them years to discover that it meant `Love conquers all; let us surrender to love. Hail and farewell.' Who was this Rayvin? The two of them knew better to ask Hiei, and Botan had only cast them a sad look.

They stood there and froze, watching Kurama's unmoving form for hours until the clock sounded three times to announce it Christmas Day. Kurama rose and left. Yusuke and Kuwabara couldn't miss the sadness in his eyes as they emerged from the willow.

My friends gather round me with holiday cheer
They say to forget you, to let you go 'cause you're not here
Well, I can't keep explaining what they'll never understand
And why I'm here every year, every Christmas
I return every year, every Christmas

The party was in full swing as his friends worriedly sidled over to him, asking the same question they had for the past nine years.

"You can tell us what's bothering you, you know that, right?" Yusuke asked, shaking the red and green confetti from his hair.

"Maybe we should just get you drunk first..."

Kurama chuckled softly at Yusuke and Kuwabara's inquiry, though it was scarcely audible over the Christmas song the girls were playing. His soft eyes glanced towards his sleeping children, Kurohane huddled up against Kage's side, and then out the window to the moon. Slowly, he murmured the last lines of the song to himself...

I come here every year, every Christmas...

----

I know it's not Christmas yet, but they played this on the radio the other day and the gears started turning, and this is the end result. Proud of me?

Oh, and I never properly got to gloat yet. Do any of you get Shonen Jump? Do you remember the survey they had in the seventeenth issue for the seven free YuYu Hakusho DVDs? Guess who won them.

I was so happy when I opened that box and found them in there. I now can watch any YYH episode from the beginning to Rescue Yukina whenever I want. And best of all, my parents got me a portable DVD player for my birthday (11/16). :D