Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction ❯ Raiden Youkai no Noroi: Zasshu ❯ Omake- Side Stories ( Chapter 6 )

One: Responsibilities

 

If Eri recalled correctly, there had been nothing in her agreement with the Spirit World brat to raise some infant one of his Ferry Girls just happened to come across. She was nineteen years old, single, and definitely not emotionally prepared to be a mother. That didn't matter to Koenma, apparently, because there it was, in the bassinet across the room, screaming until Eri was sure its tiny lungs were ready to burst.

 

Yes, Eri was still referring to the baby as it. She knew it was a girl, of course, but it wasn't a question of her knowledge of it. She just didn't give a damn.

 

“Couldn't even stop to tell me its name...” Eri muttered, rolling out of bed. “It could've at least been a boy, but noooo, they had to give me something that's gonna go bitchy and hormonal on me in twelve years.” She clutched the afghan she had been using as a blanket around her shoulders as she crossed to the thing that had dared to interrupt her sleep. “It's two o' clock in the fucking morning, what could you possibly need?!” she demanded angrily.

 

It came to her only an instant later that it might have been a bad idea to raise her voice like that, because it decided to retaliate. Loudly.

 

“I'm sorry, I'm sorry!” she yelled over its cries. “Just calm down!” Gingerly, she dropped the afghan and slid her arms under the baby's tiny body, remembering at the last minute to support its head before lifting it. “Please calm down, I don't know any lullabies, and I don't have anything to feed you until I get paid tomorrow, and no diapers either, if you're wondering about that, too,” Eri heard her panicked voice whisper. She gently began to rock it back and forth, mostly to soothe herself, but it seemed to help the baby as well.

 

What the hell was she supposed to do? She knew next to nothing about raising kids, and had no mother to call and beg for advice. There was no way she could live with this thing longer than one week, let alone for twenty years. It was going to drive her to an early grave, that was for sure.

 

But she had no choice.

 

Slowly its wail quieted, and finally it fell asleep. Eri relaxed, laid it back in the cradle, and sighed with relief. “You know...when you're not annoying the hell out of me, you're actually kind of cute,” Eri admitted to it almost begrudgingly, running her hand through the baby's soft sable hair. “And you'll need a name, too. But I don't know any girl's names that I like.” She thought for a moment. “Well...even if I do suck as a mother, you're going to have to trust me anyway...Shinrai.” Pausing for a moment, she stroked the baby's hair affectionately before picking up the afghan and returning to bed.

 

“And gods help you if you wake up again before seven!”

 

 

Two: Gaijin

 

“Kaasan?” she said tentatively as she sat down across from Eri.

 

“Yes?”

 

“What's a gaijin?”

 

Eri passed her a plate of food, not yet finding cause for suspicion in the question. “Someone who's not from Japan. Why?”

 

Her only answer was Shinrai's uneasy glance.

 

“Did something happen today, Shin-chan?”

 

“Am I a gaijin?” the ten-year-old asked just as Eri lifted a glass of water to her lips, which she promptly choked on.

 

“Wha- What ever gave you that idea?” Eri gasped, her hand held against her throat as she continued to cough.

 

“The others at school, they said that I have to be a gaijin because I didn't look like them. Because of my eyes.”

 

“That's the most idiotic thing I ever heard! When did all this start?”

 

“Four years ago, I think. Maybe five.”

 

“F-five years!” Eri sputtered. “Why didn't you ever tell me?”

 

“It never really mattered until now.”

 

“And why not?”

 

“That doesn't matter either.” Eri was almost positive that she saw tears spring into Shinrai's eyes.

 

“It was a boy, wasn't it?”

 

Shinrai nodded. She had endured the taunts for years now, but hearing them come from the mouth of the boy she adored above all the others had hurt worse than she could imagine. `Why don't you just go back to where you came from?' he had said, a condescending sneer adorning his angelic face.

 

Problem was, there was no “where she came from” to go back to in the first place.

 

Eri knew better than to belittle it as `the cute little crush' and preach about how things like this wouldn't matter when she was older. She herself was still young enough to remember the pangs of unrequited love that made that period of one's life a nightmare.

 

“Could you...could you answer my question?” Shinrai asked.

 

“Which one?”

 

“Am I a gaijin?”

 

Eri leaned back in her chair and heaved a sigh. “Honestly, Shin-chan? I don't know. There's a really good chance that you could be, or at you're at least half of something else. The woman who gave you to me didn't say. But even if you are, that doesn't give anyone a reason to make fun of you for it.” She silently cursed at herself. Saying that no one had a reason didn't mean that it would stop.

 

“May I be excused?”

 

“Sure.”

 

It didn't escape Eri's notice that Shinrai had not eaten anything.

 

 

Three: Hohoemi

 

She had never seen such a quiet thirteen-year-old. Most of them were motor-mouthed, boy-crazed airheads, Eri knew from experience. But Shinrai could go months without uttering a word aside from the pleases, thank yous, and goodbye, have a nice day, I love you too that were to be expected of a daughter, because that's what she was- Eri's daughter. Shinrai didn't care much for the story of how Eri had gotten her, and she ignored the fact that it was impossible for the young woman to have had her. She was Eri's, and no one else's.

 

Not that Eri would have been able to answer any questions about Shinrai's parents even if she had asked. She just didn't know about them, nor did she have the means to find out. However, she often wondered what the teenager's parents were like, how they must've looked to have such a mournful-looking child. Shinrai was pretty, no doubt, but it was difficult even for Eri to look into her large gray eyes for any period of time. There was no other way to describe them; they looked dead.

 

“Ne, Shin-chan, can't you smile for me?”

 

Shinrai obliged, but the smile didn't extend past her lips.

 

Eri often worried that this was her fault, and agonized about what she may have done to the girl to make her like this. Shinrai attempted to reassure her, but it never worked.

 

“It has nothing to do with you. I just don't like people to know how I'm feeling.”

 

She tried hard not to press further than that, but wanted to know why, when normal people had no problem expressing emotion, did Shinrai have such a difficult time?

 

“I don't like people. They don't need to know about me.”

 

“What about me, Shin-chan? Do you like me?”

 

“Of course, Okaasan. I love you.”

 

Then please smile for me.

 

One more half-hearted smile was all Eri ever got.

 

 

Four: Birthdays

 

"Hey, you never told me what you wanted for your birthday."

 

"I did. I said I didn't need anything."

 

"That doesn't answer my question. You didn't tell me what you want."

 

"I'm fine."

 

"I didn't ask how you were."

 

"Okaasan, really, you don't have to give me a gift."

 

"Shin-cha-an," Eri whined, dragging out the last syllable as she came up behind Shinrai and hugged her around the shoulders. "You're sucking all the fun out of this!"

 

"I am not!" The teen looked warily at the people glancing at her and Eri, some snickering at the childish behavior that the older woman was presenting. “You shouldn't be acting like this in public!”

 

"K-yo-za-me!" Eri began to chant in a singsong voice. Shinrai's face didn't go red; it never did, she was far too dignified for that. But Eri could feel her bristle at the all-too-familiar taunt.

 

"I am not a killjoy!"

 

"Then prove it. C'mon, if you don't, I'll get you something I know you don't want and guilt you into keeping it." Shinrai had no doubt that she would. Eri had done it before, and Shinrai now had a collection of cute, glittery, ostentatious Hello Kitty shirts to prove it.

 

"A sketchbook." Something simple, something she could use. These two factors caused the suggestion to be shot down immediately.

 

"Too boring. Pick something expensive." Thankfully, however, Shinrai's feigned interest in the conversation caused Eri to release her shoulders and continue walking down the street. The teen followed.

 

"But I want a sketchbook."

 

"I'll get you one," Eri said, waving her hand as if to shoo the idea away, "but pick something else for a birthday gift."

 

"Like what?"

 

"Like clothes or something that you don't normally let me get for you. You need them, you know." She did know. Even if Shinrai hadn't grown any taller, she could still tell that her shirts were getting rather tight. This, coupled with the fact that they were child's outfits that she had had since grade school further proved Eri's point. "What about something from Moi-même-Moitié? You like those clothes, right?"

 

"Yes," Shinrai admitted. Eri smiled. Maybe there were some similarities between her ward and "normal" girls; hopefully this was as far as it went.

 

"EGL or EGA?"

 

"Aristocrat. And nothing too big, please. Just a blouse would do."

 

"Alright, I'll leave you alone now."

 

"Promise?"

 

"No."

 

 

Five: Nanashi

 

Inoue Shinrai, she traced in the dirt. Inoue was easy enough. Shinrai was much harder, not just because of the intricate kanji, but because of the voice that cut through her head every time she saw it.

 

Shin-chan...

 

She used her fingers to erase her work. Her heart couldn't bear to hear the nickname that the dead woman had given her anymore.

 

So she'd have to make a new name.

 

Smoothing the soil, she searched her head for something that she could recognize without being confused, but something that had no relation to Shinrai.

 

If she got rid of the part that hurt her, the part Eri always used, she'd be left with "Rai," a name with a totally different meaning, a different tone. That would work.

 

She took the twig back into her hand and wrote, carefully, 'Arashi no Rai.' Her real mother's name coupled with her own, as was the custom in these parts.

 

It still looked wrong.

 

Tears welled up in her gray eyes and slipped out, hitting the ground and marring her new identity. She couldn't help it. Arashi conjured up no feelings of affection, no fond memories, not one drop of pain. She couldn't mourn for the mother she never knew when she was drowning in misery for want of the one she did.

 

Her sobs caught the attention of the white-haired inu youkai she had recently come to know as Oniisan. He excused himself from the guests who he had been entertaining, and came over to sit beside her, his hand resting on her back as she continued to cry, hiccuping at random intervals. His eyes drifted to the name on the ground.

 

"Rai?" Her head, which had been resting on the knees she that held close her chest, lifted a centimeter or two. She refused to meet his gaze. "Is that what you want me to call you? Not Shinrai?" Her head nodded minutely.

 

"I don't want that name anymore," her muffled response came. "It's a boy's name anyway. At least Rai can be either.”

 

"I know it hurts, Imoutochan. It still hurts me." He saw her flinch, as if she just recalled that he had lost both of his parents, and had been old enough to remember them. "I won't lie. It's always going to hurt, but it will dull over time. Just don't shut out everyone around you because of it." Ichiro paused a moment before rising and returning to his neglected guests.

 

She called out to him, so quietly that he first had thought that he'd been mistaken. "Oniisan?"

 

"Yes?"

 

"Thank you."

 

He smiled, and replied, "You're welcome...Rai-chan."

 

 

 

 

 

 

This is just a series of little side stories meant to illustrate the relationship Rai had with her foster mother, and to tell why she doesn't use her Ningenkai name anymore.

 

Translations & Cultural Notes For Responsibilities

No real notes here, except that Eri is under the impression that Botan dumped Rai with her because Koenma told her to. She isn't aware that that isn't the case.

 

 

Translations & Cultural Notes For Gaijin

Kaasan- Mother

Gaijin- Foreigner. You've heard me describe Rai before; she doesn't sound Japanese at all. And, yeah, she can be made fun of for that just the same as a Japanese person can be made fun of at a foreign school.

 

Zasshu discusses the problems arising from prejudice and persecution, two things Rai's been exposed to all her life. This was meant to illustrate the events that made Rai the way she is (i.e. mistrusting, defensive, melancholy), and the last line will play a somewhat significant part in the main story. As for her not knowing what a gaijin is at ten years old...we'll just say that she's lived a sheltered existence.

 

 

Translations & Cultural Notes For Hohoemi
Hohoemi- Smile
Okaasan- Mother

 

 

Translations & Cultural Notes For Birthdays
Kyozame- I left a large hint in there for you guys, but if you didn't get it, `kyozame' means 'killjoy.' I used the Japanese word for it because it seemed easier to imagine Eri singing something with an ending she could draw out rather than one that she couldn't (there is a technical term for this that I learned in choir, but I've forgotten it).

 

Moi-même-Moitiè is a fashion label created by Mana, the guitarist and leader of Moi dix Mois (and previously of Malice Mizer). When Eri asks, "EGL or EGA?" she's asking if Rai prefers Elegant Gothic Lolita or Elegant Gothic Aristocrat, two designs Moi-même-Moitié offers. EGL imitates the look of Victorian porcelain dolls; EGA's image "is founded on elegance and aristocratic nobility." This isn't a very practical fashion, which is why Rai asks for only a blouse- it's something she that could get away with wearing every day. If you want to look at these yourself, cdjapan sells them here: www . cdjapan . co . jp / jpop / essentials / mmm (get rid of the spaces). I'll warn you now: EGA is based heavily on androgyny. If the idea of men's corsets freak you out, don't go. And don't bitch at me either. I'm not forcing you to look at the site, let alone buy anything.

 

This actually has a purpose- these four lines of dialogue should tell you more about Rai's character than you've known throughout the whole story.

 

(Side note: Moi-même-Moitiè means 'my other half' in French)

 

(Another side note: Gothic lolita, EGL and EGA are nothing like the goth in the US. Just thought I'd clarify)

 

 

Translations & Cultural Notes For Nanashi
Nanashi- One without a name or identity

Names

Inoue- Above the well. Seventeenth most common Japanese surname.
Shinrai- Trust, confidence. I think this is a boy's name, but I'm not entirely sure. Even if it is, I don't care.
Rai- Made of thin silk.
Arashi no Rai- Rai of Arashi, or Arashi's Rai. A naming system I made up for this fic where the full name of the character is comprised of the person's name preceded by that of the parent of the same gender. Therefore, Ichiro would be Senshi no Ichiro and Midori would be Aoi no Midori.

 

In Japan, surnames are given before the given name, or what we know as first names. I tend to follow this because it is the culture of my characters as well as the ones created by Togashi-san. This is also why I use suffixes such as -san or -chan. Rarely if ever are Japanese names heard without these; it connotes an intimacy that most of my characters do not have with one another.

 

A/N

I know that this is taking up a lot of room...but this last part is something you need to know. I will no longer be updating this fic until I have it completed. Once I'm finished, I'll post it in it's entirety- that could be in a few months or a couple years, depending on my drive. It has nothing to do with you guys. I simply think that the story will be better and there will be fewer plot holes if I try and do this all at once rather than chapter by chapter.

 

CM