Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction ❯ Random Stuff Presented in a Random Way! ❯ Underage drinking! Woot! ( Chapter 3 )

Chapter Three

We now join our heroes on their exhausting search for Risho's location.

"Jin! Anything from our eye in the sky?" Yusuke called up.

"Oh, the wind is a might foul up here. We must be on track."

"You're not being very helpful," Hiei admonished as Yusuke cracked up. Oh no, we just forgot about poor Eikichi! Side note: Eikichi was sitting the comfort of her own home during this ordeal. There, that's better.

Hiei's Jagan eye flashed as he searched for traces of Risho or Tukiko. Eventually he grunted "Hn" in satisfaction. "Both Tukiko and Risho have been in this bar," he announced, indicating the smokey entrancesway he stood in. "However, I can't be sure of how long ago it was, or even if they were here at the same time."

"Only way to find out is to go inside. But how do we hide all our demon friends? Kurama, Hiei and Touya all look normal enough, but..." Yusuke shot a look up at Jin, "how do we hide Peter Pan here? Jin, it's time for you to play human!" Jin's eyes widened and he shot straight up in the air to avoid Yusuke's makeover for him.

Kuwabara, who had been quite useless up to now, suddenly grinned evilly. "I have the best idea!" Jin cowered while Kuwabara explained to his friends. "Well, see Jin's got that horn and those ears that we gotta cover. The only way to cover them is to give Jin a wig. And his accent plays tricks on the ears and makes you think it's a girl talking..." (We're evil!)

Jin's eyes widened even further, if that's even possible, as he realized the implications of what Kuwabara was saying. "Oh, no you don't! No no no!" But before he could fly away, a vine extended from Kurama's hand to wrap around his arms and legs. "Bloody hell! You blokes can't be serious?!"

But the "blokes" smiled at him maliciously.

After much squirming and screaming from Jin, they were able to have a remarkably attractive, albeit incredibly ticked off, female version of Jin, whose ears were sagging so low they almost came peeking out from under the wig. "I hate you all," was all Jin said.

"Wow, Jin, where have you been all my life? How did I get by without a beauty like you?" Yusuke could barely contain his laughter - Kuwabara was not as talented.

"Let's not waste any more time." The group turned to Hiei, who was already in the bar, beckoning for them to join him. He disappeared into the murky room, followed by a cackling Kuwabara, a fuming Jin, and Yusuke with a strange look on his face as a laugh threatened to burst forth. Touya and Kurama were inscrutable as always.

As the odd group entered the bar, the bartender gave them the evil eye until he saw Yusuke - then he beamed and got a glass ready. "Hey, Urameshi. Haven't seen you here for a while."

"Yeah, I've been busy." He hopped up on a barstool. "Drinks are on me. Just put it on my tab."

"Sure thing." Then under his breath, the bartender asked, "Hey Urameshi.... Who's your lady friend? She's hot stuff."

Jin, with his acute hearing, went pale; but Yusuke, with a grin, merely wrapped an arm around his shoulders and pulled him onto another barstool. "This is Jun, but hands off, k?"

At this, Kuwabara choked on his drink and fell off his barstool. "What's the matter, Kuwabara? You jealous?" Yusuke asked, a smirk plastered on his face.

Hiei quickly drained his glass and leaned over the counter. "Listen, I'm looking for someone," he said conspiratorially to the bartender over the sounds of barely-restrained merriment and fury. "Two someones, actually. You willing to cooperate?"

The bartender raised his eyebrow and said, "I'm afraid I don't understand." But it was obvious he understood completely.

Yusuke, who happened to know that the bartender stored a shotgun under the counter, shot Hiei a look that pleaded "I don't want any mortalities." (Aww, why not? Sniff for no mortalities.) To the bartender he said, "Ignore him, he's a bit forward. Look, we just need to know if two people in particular were here together."

"I see a lot of people, Urameshi."

"Oh, you'd know these two. A man with slick black hair and a woman - "

"With white hair and almost no clothes," Kuwabara added.

The bartender raised an eyebrow. "Yes, I would have noticed that," he said in an undertone. Raising his voice, he said, "You know, I might have seen them. But a little compensation would refresh my memory."

Yusuke swore. "Kuwabara, I'm broke!" he hissed to his friend, who had recovered from his laughing spell by now. "You got any cash?"

Kuwabara gave Yusuke a dirty look but gave him the money anyway.

Yusuke slapped the money on the counter. "Remember anything now?"

"Hmm, come to think of it, I do remember seeing a woman recently. She looked very pleased with herself - even before I gave her the drink," the bartender said.

They waited patiently for him to continue, but it seemed that no more information was forthcoming. "Look, that's all we've got!" Yusuke protested, as Hiei began to draw his sword.

The bartender eyed Jin/Jun and said slyly, "I do believe I need something to jog my memory."

They stared at him, stupified. Suddenly Yusuke shouted, "Huddle!" and they gathered in a corner of the room, save Touya and Kurama who were still nursing their drinks.

"No! No, No, NO! I will NOT!" Jin was almost yelling his protests.

"We're not asking you to sleep with him," Hiei said quietly, as Yusuke begged "Jun" to at least use a falsetto. "If you just use your feminine wiles on him..."

I don't have any feminine wiles!" Jin shrieked girlishly, drawing the attention of a nearby real female.

"What's the problem?" she asked, walking over to them.

Yusuke's, Kuwabara's and Hiei's eyes all widened at the intrusion - or maybe at Jin's going all-girl on them and talking to the girl.

Jin actually found it quite easy to talk to her, as he didn't have to bother chatting her up. After he had explained the situation to the girl, her face lit up. "I know just how to get you out of this!" she exclaimed with a grin, and drew him apart from the others to discuss her plan animatedly.

Yusuke and Kuwabara were in awe of this transformation - so in awe that they didn't notice Hiei going back to the bar ready to raise some h-e-double-hockey-sticks.

Hiei drew his sword just enough to reveal how sharp it was. "I don't mind bribery," he informed the bartender, "but I won't allow you to use an innocent woman in such a foul way."

Yusuke heard this and ran over to Hiei, pulled him aside and said, "Geez, we can't take you demons anywhere can we?"

"If you'd just let me threaten the guy properly...." But Hiei trailed off as he caught sight of Jin ambling up to the bartender.

Although they couldn't hear the exchange between the two, it was quite obvious that Jin (or shall we say Jun in this case) was turning on the charm.

"How sickening," was all Hiei could say.

Eventually Jin sauntered back to the groupm leaving the bartender with a dazed expression on his face. "I've got - " Suddenly he stoppd, and switched out of his falsetto. "I've got all the information we need."

"Uh...huh. Um, ok, well let's go then. Hey wait...where's Kurama and Touya?" Yusuke said in a daze.

"Um...." Kuwabara was pointing back to the bar. There sat Kurama and Touya, arms around each other. Touya was giggling like a schoolgirl, and Kurama was hiccupping. Empty glasses surrounded them.

"Oh...my...God."

And they left the bar.