Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction ❯ Realistic Fiction ❯ Enter the Fanclub ( Chapter 3 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

“Aya?”
“Eh?” I lifted my head off the foot of my bed.
“Aya.”
I was half asleep on a Sunday morning, but I somehow managed an answer. “Mwuh.” I never said it was a good answer. “Eh? Ud er oo duib hih, kummuh? Ibsh too iiih.” Translation (in English): Eh? What are you doing here, Kurama? It’s too early.
Kurama raised an eyebrow.
I yawned and sat up. “Nee, what time’s it? Aya’s sleepy,” I asked, speech slurred considerably.
“Eleven thirty-seven.”
“Oh.” I looked up at him, dawning a dopey half-smile. “I should pro’lly get up, then, ne?”
“Probably, yes. You slept in your clothes again.”
“What? Didja think I sleep in the nude? Ooh, naughty Kurama, having dirty thoughts.” I was awake enough by now to make sarcastic comments. Had I been talking to anyone but Kurama, I would’ve been treated to an exaggerated eye-roll. “I always do. I fail ta see th’ point in special clothes fer sleeping.”
“I suppose that makes sense. Are you hungry?”
“Eh, probably.”
“Probably?”
“I don’t usually notice,” I clarified, swinging my legs over the side of my bed and rising to my feet. Kurama was standing about a meter away from me. I grinned groggily at him. “So, how’re the wife and kids?”
Kurama’s eyebrow shot upwards.
I looked out the window. It was raining. “Lovely mornin’, eh?” I commented. “Jus’ beautiful. Should go to the beach. Bring Hiei along. We all know how he loves ta play volleyball, ain’t tha’ right, Kitsune? Such a perky lil fellow, that ‘e is. Should teach a kindergarten class, ne?”
Kurama gave me a vaguely amused look. “You realize he’s standing right behind you.”
I turned around to see a glaring black figure, too asleep to wonder why he was there. “Why, so ‘e is! Mister Happy Sunshine himself!” I grinned stupidly again and raised a hand in greeting. “Yo.”
Hiei glared.
I shook my head and sighed. “So, how ‘bout them birdies, eh? Always spreading rumors an’ th’ like. Shoulda heard tha’ robin th’ other day, goin’ on ‘bout What’s-Her-Face cheating on What’s-His-Name. I know she ain’t the most righteous of girls, but really, she wouldn’t go that far, ain’t I right? Ne? Hiei?”
Hiei continued to glare and I heard Kurama stifling vaguely confused laughter.
“Righ’ then, I’ll just get myself some breakfast, shall I? Lunch. Whatever.” I walked past Kurama and into the hall. However, I had apparently forgotten that my bedroom and the kitchen were on two different levels, and a couple seconds later, there was a series of loud thumps. “Oww...”
I stood and looked up to see Kurama at the top of the stairs, looking rather more amused than worried. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah,” I replied, rubbing my posterior. “That woke me up rather well.” I saw Hiei standing slightly behind and to the left of Kurama and added somewhat awkwardly, “Er... forget everything I said, please.”
“Hn.” Hiei disappeared.
I nodded and wandered over to the kitchen, Kurama following, probably for lack of anything better to do. I opened the cabinet, my eyes darting across the contents. “Eh, not cereal. I will probably end up drowning myself in the milk. Hmm... I feel like... peanut butter and jelly sandwich.”
“For breakfast?” asked Kurama.
“No.”
“Lunch, then?”
“No. It is a special meal that I like to call... meal. It takes place when I remember to eat.”
“I see.”
Kurama remained leaning in the entrance to the kitchen as I got out the ingredients. I glanced at him as I got out the first piece of bread. “Nothing better to do?”
“Actually, I should probably be...”
Tuning him out, I shrugged and began preparing my soon-to-be four layer sandwich as he left the room.

I grinned at the finished product and at Kurama’s raised eyebrow. (He had just come back.) “There. Think it’s big enough?”
“Well, that depends. How many armies are you feeding?”
I laughed, not being able to think up a clever response at the time, and picked it up. Just as I’d taken my first bite, the doorbell rang. I looked inquiringly at Kurama, chewing the sticky goodness. He went to answer the door and I resumed my meal. I heard him greet someone and invite them in, and though the other voice sounded familiar, I couldn’t place it. They talked for a moment, then everyone’s favorite blue-haired deity of death appeared in the entrance where Kurama had stood previously.
“Aya!” she exclaimed, clapping her hands. “Keiko and Yukina and I are going to the mall later this afternoon, and I just thought this would be a good opportunity to get to know you better! Want to tag along?”
I held up my finger as I finished chewing, then replied with my mouth trying to stick to itself, “When are you going?”
“Oh, we were going to meet at the main entrance at two o’clock.”
I nodded. “Okay, that should give me enough time to finish eating and take a shower and all that. I’ll meet you there, yes?”
“Right! I just leave now so you can finish your-” Botan’s expression flickered as she eyed my sandwich, “ano, lunch. See you later!”
I waved as she excused herself, my mouth once again full with sticky goodness.

“Hmm, now where is it again...?”
Japan had, again, rearranged itself so that I didn’t know how to get where I was going. It was probably a conspiracy. It was all a conspiracy. Or maybe that’s just what they want us to think...
I suddenly stopped on my way to the mall. I sensed that I was being followed. Turning around, I found that my predictably unreliable instincts had been accurate. Five girls I recognized from school stood glaring before me. “(A vicious pack of females, huh?)” I started to smirk, then changed it into a naive, polite, confused, and very fake smile before they noticed. “Did you need something?”
The apparent leader took the invitation to open her big mouth. “What’s that you said in English?” she asked suspiciously. I guess she hadn’t bought my near-perfected act that usually worked.
Still playing the actress, I practically glowed at them, just reeking of the sweetness that only Yukina seemed to genuinely possess. “Oh, I was just saying that you look familiar. Say, aren’t you those girls that follow Shuichi-kun around?”
They glowered in unison. “Yeah, that’s who this is about,” said one.
“Is that so?” Watching Yukina being so adorably clueless so many times had payed off. I made a mental note to thank her.
“What do you mean, ‘Is that so?’ You know full well what we’re here for!” These girls reminded me of the Yuki fanclub.
This ‘vicious pack of females’ was already on the hunt, and therefor my act wouldn’t work, so I dropped it. In an instant, my face fell into a ‘we are not amused’ sort of cold, dark, Hiei-esque glare. “Humor me,” I said dryly.
They seemed slightly taken aback, but the leader recovered quickly. “We know you’re living with him.”
“Yeah, so does everyone else at school.”
She scowled. “There had better not be anything going on between you two, or else!”
“Or else what?” I said automatically as she bristled. “Don’t worry. There is nothing between us and I sincerely doubt anything will develop.”
“Yeah, right! We’ve seen how familiar you are with him!” At this point, I wasn’t even paying attention to who was doing the talking.
“What, am I not allowed to have guy friends?”
My sarcastic comment was pointedly ignored. “I’ll bet you’re trying to seduce our sweet, innocent Shuichi-kun!”
At this, my eyes widened and I laughed in a genuine but vaguely bitter manner. “Number one, he is not yours. Number two, I would not define him as innocent. Number three, that’s just pathetically stupid. Stop fantasizing and get a life, brainless females.” If anything, he’s seducing me, I added to myself silently.
Their eyes widened simultaneously. “Did you just call us!”
“Yes. Now leave me be before I begin to get annoyed.”
They gawked as I brushed past them nonchalantly. Hopefully, they’d remain in a daze until I was at least out of range... No such luck. I rolled my eyes and stifled a sigh as I heard an annoying voice behind me. “Hey, wait just one minute, you!”
“No.” I didn’t stop or turn around, with the hopes that they’d just give up. I felt their eyes bore into my back for a couple seconds or so before their presence left me. For this I was grateful. I grinned.
“Not a bad performance.”
I shrieked and jumped a foot in the air before whirling around to see who had spoken. “Don’t do that!”
Hiei’s face was pretty much expressionless. “They caught on, though.”
I blinked to clear my surprise before replying, “Yes, I know. That is why I stopped halfway through. Rabid females are not easy to dissuade once they have latched on to something.”
He cringed. “So I’ve noticed.”
His cringe got me curious, but I decided to change the subject, only because I was such a wonderful person. Remember that, darn you. Aya is a wonderful, wonderful person, so give her all your money. ...Now. “So, Hiei, were you following me, or what?”
“Kurama doesn’t trust you to find your way to the large human shopping building by yourself.”
I sighed. “Get lost once and they never let you forget it.”
“Considering it’s right there,” he said, gesturing with his head, “I guess that means I can go now, unless you’re incapable of walking in a straight line.”
“Nah, I’m good.”
Suddenly a voice came out of seemingly nowhere. “There you are, Hi-chan!”
Hiei’s eyes widened for a split second, then he disappeared before I had time to blink. I knew that voice.
Misako the Purple appeared where Hiei had been standing only moments before. “Oh, drat,” she said, snapping her fingers. “He got away again. It’s not easy, you know, stalking someone as fast as that and keeps running away. But it’s more fun that way, so I’m not complaining.”
“I think he’d prefer to have it called something like a strategic retreat,” I said thoughtfully.
“Probably. So,” she exclaimed, changing the subject, “where are you headed on this fine Sunday afternoon?” It had stopped raining, but was still pretty wet and miserable outside.
“Oh, I’m going to the mall with Keiko, Yukina, and Botan.”
“Oh. Say 'hi' to that cute little Koorime for me, will ya?”
“Sure.”
“Thanks! Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a fire demon to track down. Ta ta for now.”
“See you.” She disappeared as I turned around again and walked across the street to the mall. Surveying the area in a split second, I noticed three familiar figures near the entrance and headed towards them. “Hello.”
The other three said their greetings, bowing slightly as I bowed in return.
“Sorry I’m late,” I said. “I got a little... held up.”
Keiko and Botan looked a little worried. “Held up?” asked Keiko. I realized what ‘held up’ probably often meant for them.
“Just some girls from school,” I clarified, waving a hand dismissively. They visibly relaxed, and I mentally thanked myself for thinking to leave out that they had clearly been one step away from jumping me. “So, are we going to have some female bonding time, or what?”

My companions didn’t comment on the fact that everything I bought, or even looked at in consideration, was black. Come to think of it, nobody commented that all I wore was black jeans and over-sized black t-shirts with something amusing on the front. I guess they were too used to a certain unnamed sociopath to even notice.
The actual shopping trip had been fairly uneventful, if you could ignore all the puppies running around the place, with a short, purple-clad girl near the pet store calling, “Be free, my little friends! Be free!” I guess she had temporarily given up on Hiei.

It was as we were saying our goodbyes that things began to get interesting. Hiei arrived to take Yukina back to Genkai’s temple, and just after they left, Keiko glanced at the mammoth clock on the front of the building.
“Five o’clock already?” she commented. “Wow, time flies when you’re having fun, ne? Well, I’ve got to go home now or my parents will worry. Goodbye!”
We waved as she walked off before Botan blinked in realization. “Five! Oh, no, I have to get something from Koenma-sama and have the boys all at Kuwabara’s house in a half hour. I’d love to walk you home, but I’ve really got to hurry,” she said apologetically.
Hmm. “Ah, don’t worry about it. I was going to check out this arcade nearby I heard about,” I lied. “See you!”
“See you!” The friendly ferry girl waved and hurried off, perhaps to a safe place to summon her oar. Hmm, indeed.
Hefting my tote-bag thing (which shall henceforth be referred to as my tag) over my shoulder with one hand and gripping the handles of my shopping bag (which shall not henceforth be referred to as my shag) with the other, I set off for Kuwabara’s. How did I know where it was? Simple. I’d been there before, several times, though briefly. That, and my directional skills were extremely inconsistent.
I hummed cheerfully and evilly to myself as I walked along. About halfway to the Kuwabara residence, I felt a familiar, annoying, and rather loud presence behind me... again. I sighed and turned around to face the fanclub once more. “Did you need something?” I asked nicely, as I was in a better mood.
The girls glared at me in unison. I thought to myself that if synchronized glaring was an Olympic sport, these five would at least get a bronze.
“Where are you going?”
If we could just find a way to clone Hiei, well... imagine the possibilities. That team would win the gold hands-down.
“Hello?”
Then we would un-clone Hiei after he won, and he wouldn’t care about the medal, would he? No. So I’d ask for it and he’d give it to me because he didn’t care and then... I could pawn it or something. Think of the money, man. Not to mention the money you get just for being famous.
“Earth to Aya!”
And then if we could clone him again every year... I could get so rich...
“We asked you a question!” they screeched.
How about that one...? Nah, synchronized screeching would never catch on.I snapped out of my daze and looked back at the girls, making a mental note to tell Kurama my plan. “What? Sorry.”
The leader rolled her eyes. “Tell us where you’re going.”
“A little nosy, are we?” Seeing fists clenching, I continued before I got them too mad. “A friend’s house.” They just wouldn’t be expecting me. I gave them a friendly ‘come on’ sort of gesture and turned around to continue my trek. “I’m in a bit of a hurry, though. Walk with me, will you?”
They radiated surprise, a bit taken back with my display of geniality, then hurried to catch up with me. “Who? What friend?” asked the leader suspiciously.
“Kuwabara Kazuma’s place.” I suppressed a smirk at their vague shock. “You know him?”
“K... Kuwabara? The... delinquent Kuwabara?”
“Yeah, that’s him! Yusuke-kun’s going to be there, too,” I added, smiling.
Glancing back, their expressions now seemed somewhat overwhelmed. “Urameshi Yusuke?”
“Yes! That’s right! I just hope they don’t fight too much. You can get discounts for buying in bulk, but gauze still isn’t cheap, you know?”
“Ah, yeah. We’ll... let you go. Ano, have fun.”
“Oh, I will!” Beaming, I waved to them as they ran away. “(That in itself was pretty fun, though.)” I resumed my humming as I continued to the Kuwabara residence.