Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction ❯ Realistic Fiction ❯ Peas in a Pod ( Chapter 7 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

“(Straight through the portal and up the stairs, to Genkai’s place we go!)â€

Yusuke groaned as we trudged up the steps for the second time that day. “Another song? Jeez, Koenma, couldn’t you have put us a little closer?â€

The demigod massaged his temples. “I’m sorry, but there was only one portal leading to that demon’s laboratory. Speaking of which, Kurama, do you still have him?â€

“Yes. Aya, please stop singing that song.â€

“Okay.†There was a universal sigh of relief, which spawned a grin from yours truly. I was getting to them... and running out of songs. Let’s see... Oh, yeah! How could I forget that one? “(If... you’re happy and you know, it clap your hands!)†Clap,
clap.

Another groan elicited from Yusuke. “Why oh why did he just have to go and pick Aya, of all people?â€

The panther demon giggled. “Appropriate form! Spoon! Intelligent, clear headed! Made of metal! My experiment! Acting as damage! Fit requirements! Snoopy band-aids!†He was alternating between his quotes and mine.

“Apparently,†said Kurama, sorting through this because he’s just so gosh-darned smart, “when she saved that girl, Yuka-san, she kept a clear head. He noticed this, and her intelligence, and decided she fit the requirements. The wolf is probably the
most appropriate form for her, though I can’t imagine why. The rest seems to be nonsense.â€

Oh, thanks. “(-then your face will surely show it-)â€

Kuwabara glanced at me. “I don’t think she’s made of metal.â€

“I don’t think she’s any of those things!†yelled Yusuke. Good, he still hadn’t noticed the facade.

Not that I was actually acting, of course. “(-shout ‘Yatta!’ Yatta! If you’re happy and you know it, shout ‘Yatta!’ Yatta!)â€

Yusuke was beginning to snap. “Aya! For the love of all that is sacred, shut up!â€

“(-will surely show it-)†I halted my singing suddenly. “Why would I want sacred love?â€

“Argh!â€< br>
Before Yusuke could pull out his hair, Kuwabara decided to point something out to him. “Ano, Urameshi? She’s stopped.â€

“...†Yusuke glared at him, then at me, then at a tree.

My maniacal grin faded to a soft smile as I half-jogged up behind him to timidly tap him on the shoulder. “Nee, Yusuke-kun?â€

“What?†he grumbled irritably.

“I’m sorry.â€

“...What?†He turned to face me with a bewildered expression.

I gave a small, brief bow. “I’ve been a royal pain in the ass, and it was fun, but I’m sorry. It has been a long day,†I looked back to the others, “for all of you.â€

“Yeah, hasn’t it been a long day for you, too?†asked Kuwabara.

“Yeah, but I was enjoying myself.â€

“How could you have been enjoying yourself?â€

“Well, much of it was forced enjoyment.â€

“Forced?â€

“Yup. It can be done. I could entertain myself with a brick wall for at least ten minutes if I put my mind to it.†This was the truth. I had done so before.

“Woah.â€

â&# 8364;œIt’s not that special. I just decided at a young age to keep some of that young age with me forever, and part of that is being easily amused.†I visibly switched back into a playful mood before anyone could make a big deal out of simple retained childishness. “You know, since I’ve got these spiffy powers now, I’m gonna try something.â€

And try something I did. Without any more warning than that, I leapt into a bounding gait up the steps we had just reached. My hair blew wildly behind me as I laughed at nothing, feeling the wind washing over my body. The crisp stream of air was as water; rapids, engulfing me in its near-violent flow of cold exhilaration. The world rushed around me in blurs of green, brown, and gray while the brilliant blue sky remained a constant over my head. My worries, my stresses, my anxieties - they hadn’t left me, but somehow felt unimportant. All that mattered was ground under my feet, the wind in my hair, and the surrounding streaks of scenery. All that mattered was to run. This was life. I knew then I’d never be able to find the right words for this simple, pure joy.

However, as the clichéd expression states, all good things must come to an end. I came to a halt in front of the huge dojo and closed my eyes, hanging on to that bliss. Alas, I couldn’t make it last. My eyes slowly opened to see Hiei silently standing before me, as he had gone ahead of the others to inform Genkai of our arrival.

Hiei... was smiling. At me. And I was smiling back.

The small smile of mutual understanding on his face instantly vanished and my own quickly turned into one of my normal grins as Yusuke and Kurama appeared just behind me. “You could’ve warned us,†said Yusuke, in fake annoyance.

“I did.â€

“The hell?†came a different and familiar voice.

I turned to see a confounded bat demon and raised a hand in greeting. “Yo.â€

“The hell?â€

“More like the Makai,†corrected Yusuke.

“The hell?â€

I nudged Kurama with my elbow. “How long you think he’s gonna keep saying that?â€

He sighed in reply before addressing his old partner and friend. “Kuronue, naked women at two o’clock.â€

“Whe re?†He snapped out of his daze and whirled around to look. “I don’t see any- hey.†Realization dawned on him and he turned back to glare at Kurama. “You tricked me.â€

Kurama just sighed again. “Works every time.â€

Hiei snorted. “Pathetic.â€

“He y, don’t- what?†Again, he interrupted himself, this time to stare at me. “What the hell?’

Yusuke rolled his eyes. “Here we go again.â€

“I’m a demon,†I explained bluntly.

“I can see that much,†he said. “But why are you a demon?â€

“Oh, I’ve always been a demon,†I said casually, giving the other three a pointed glance. “I’ve only just now revealed myself. See, I’m actually an ancient youkai, though some worship me as a god, protector of nature in general, and wolves in particular. Humans have been exploiting the earth since they learned to stand, so I was appointed guardian. Once every thousand years, I revert to my true form, the one you see now, and avenge the earth. I am the bringer of what those silly little mortals call the apocalypse. I slept in, so I’m a bit late, but no worries. Mankind shall suffer nonetheless.â€

Kuronue was gaping at me, as were the other three, though for different reasons. The bat opened and closed his mouth a few times before speaking, “...Really?â€

I nodded. “Yup. Oh, and look, ‘gullible’ is written in the clouds.â€

“It is?†He looked up. “It’s not- Now you tricked me!†I was now on the receiving end of the Batglare™.

I shook my head in disbelief and looked to Kurama. “Has he always been like that?â€

“I’m afraid so. You’re going to use that to your advantage, aren’t you?â€

“Why, Kurama! How dare you question my motives? Here I thought you knew me!†I indignantly placed a hand over my heart. “Of course I am!â€

“I’m right here, you know!†yelled Kuronue, ignoring Yusuke’s shameless snickers.

“No, you’re not.â€

“Ha, ha. You’re a right comedian.â€

I snapped my fingers. “Oh, darn. I thought I had him that time.â€

“What’s all this noise? Can’t an old woman get her sleep?â€

I turned cheerfully to see Genkai in the doorway. “Ah! Sensei!†I bowed. “We meet again!â€

Genkai scrutinized me, taking in my new look. “Today is just full of surprises.â€

“Quite,†came the voice of Koenma. I turned again to him and Kuwabara coming towards us. “Kurama, you explain.â€

I quietly edged over to Yusuke and nudged him in the side with my elbow as Kurama obliged. “Why Kurama?â€

“He’s good at explaining things. That, and Koenma’s a little out of breath.â€

“Oh. So he is.†Maybe I shouldn’t have rushed ahead like that... nah. It was funny, seeing him loose some of his composure. Not nearly as funny as the mental image of a drunk Youko Kurama standing on the bar counter and singing opera, though.

I snapped out of my daze and noticed that everyone except Kurama was giving me an odd look. “What?†Then it hit me. “Did I just start laughing for no apparent reason?â€

“Yeah,†said Kuwabara.

Kurama sighed. “She does that a lot. You get used to it after a while. Anyway,†he said, wrapping up his explanation, “by the time we got there, the process had already started, and this guy was laughing maniacally.â€

“He had a nervous breakdown when they showed up on the security cameras,†I added helpfully. “He seemed sane enough when he kidnapped me.â€

Someone suddenly started singing in mangled English. “(If you’re happy and you know it, clap your hands!)†Clap, clap. I reflexively clapped, as well.

Our gazes turned to the panther demon still wrapped in vines. Yusuke groaned for the third time this chapter. “Aya! Look what you did!†It was fruitless, however, because by then I was singing along, mangling my own English for the hell of it. Yusuke’s
groan count went up to four.

Halting in the song, I wandered over to the nameless demon and patted him on the head. “Good cat.â€

“Not good cat! He turned you into a demon, remember?†Kuwabara pointed out, then muttered to himself, “Gee, never thought I’d say that...â€

“Why, so he did.†I flicked my ears and glanced back to view my new tail. “And it’s pretty darn spiffy.â€

“I know the feeling,†said Yusuke thoughtfully. “Human all your life, and then, bam, you’re a demon. Kinda weird and kinda cool at the same time. Do you have that demon heartbeat thing going on?â€

I checked my pulse. “Yup. Man.â€

“Of course,†he added, “I didn’t go all wolf-y, so the ears and tail would just add to the weirdness factor, huh?â€

Kuronue sighed. “I’ve been a demon all my life—well, existence—and I’ve never gotten a tail.â€

“Yeah, but you’ve got wings, so it all evens out.â€

“What about me?†asked Yusuke. “I don’t have wings or a tail in my Toushin form.â€

I thought for a moment. “...The hair.â€

“My hair?â€

I nodded. “Your Toushin form has a lot of it. Seriously, my first thought when I saw you was, ‘Looks like someone had a little too much fun with the hair-growth formula, then stuck a fork in an electrical socket.’â€

“Oh, thanks a lot. That’s real comforting.â€

“What was your second thought?†wondered Kuronue.

“‘Heâ€& #8482;s missing a shoe.’â€

“Oh, yeah, I was, wasn’t I?†Yusuke recalled.

“Why?â€

â& #8364;œI threw it at someone out of desperation.â€

Kuronue nodded wisely. “When you’re all out of ideas, a good way to bide time is to throw your shoe. Not only will it distract your opponent, but it’s pretty funny if it hits him in the head.†Kurama groaned, but was ignored. “I usually wear boots, so it
doesn’t work for me, but it saved Youko Kurama once.â€

“Whoah, really?†implored Kuwabara incredulously.

“Yup. The great Youko Kurama, legendary thief, saved by a humble shoe thrown at a guard’s face.†He paused. “Actually, since it was his shoe, it couldn’t have all that humble, because nothing about Youko is humble.â€

“Wouldnâ€T 82;t it be in a shoe’s nature to be humble, though?†I wondered. “I mean, people walk around in them all the time.â€

“Can a shoe have a nature?†asked Yusuke.

“If it can be humble, it can have a nature. It’s all or nothing.â€

“That makes sense.â€

“But wouldn’t it still-â€

“You realize how ridiculous you sound?†commented a fourth party.

I did. “Hiei-san is right.â€

“We went from demon forms to the nature of shoes without a second thought,†added Kuronue.

“Say, that somehow reminds me!†Yusuke exclaimed, snapping his fingers. “Now I’m not the only one that was dead for a while and then wasn’t anymore. I mean, Kurama didn’t exactly die, but this guy was seriously dead for at least seventeen years.â€

“Hey, yeah!†Kuronue agreed, snapping his fingers as well. “I was dead for a while there, wasn’t I?â€

“We should make a club.â€

“Yeah, and we could call it the Not Dead Club.â€

“But a lot of people aren’t dead. It’d have to be the Not Dead Anymore Club.â€

I considered that, even though I wouldn’t be a member. “I think the No Longer Dead Club has a nicer ring to it.â€

“It does,†agreed the other two.

“This is a stupid conversation and we need to get back on track!†yelled Koenma.

Our attention turned to him as we noticed how derailed we had gotten. “(Right-o.)â€

“Y es, so,†started Koenma, slightly startled as how quickly we had quieted, “Genkai, until I find a cure, I was hoping you wouldn’t mind housing another extra person.â€

Genkai grunted noncommittally. “Why my temple?â€

“Because all the extra people stay here,†stated Kuwabara, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world, the rest of us nodding.

There was a sigh. “Fine, fine. Maybe she can keep this idiot occupied,†she said, casually gesturing to the aforementioned winged ‘idiot’, who promptly pouted.

“Can we go now?†asked Hiei.

“Yes, yes, fine.†The Tantei disappeared quickly with Koenma’s permission as he and Genkai began to discuss the details of my stay, Kuronue and I standing off to the side.

“Ah, they’re talking about boring stuff,†said Kuronue. “Wanna go somewhere else?â€

“Sure. How about the kitchen?â€

“You read my mind.â€

“Yup.â€

Kuronue started to lead me away, but stopped. “Wait, you didn’t really read my mind, did you?â€

“Hmm? Oh, yeah,†I said, feigning slight surprise. “Didn’t I tell you I can read minds?†The wide-eyed bat demon shook his head. “Oh. Well, I can. And Kuronue-kun should be ashamed of himself.â€

He stared, then put his hands on his head worriedly. “Hey, stay out of my head!â€

“Okay, but on one condition,†I negotiated. Kuronue nodded in grim acceptance. “You have to take me to the kitchen.â€

He sighed in relief and began to walk away, bidding me to follow. “Seriously, though. Don’t do that, okay? I don’t want anyone to see what’s in my head.â€

“Sure. It’s not like I really want to look at that stuff, anyway,†I said, then smirked at his shiver and slipped my shoes off as we went inside.

And we’re walking, we’re walking, we’re walking... (A cookie to whoever caught that reference.) Ah, we’ve stopped walking. Must be the kitchen.

He turned to me before he slid the door open, completely serious. “Now, we are about to enter a sacred room.â€

I nodded sagely. “Right.â€

“We should have a moment of prayer first.â€

“To who?â€

“...The god of food.â€

“What kind of food?â€

“...Rice. Pray to Inari.â€

“Right.â€

“What do I say?â€

“Whatever you want, damnit!â€

“Okay.†Um. Rice is good. So are foxes. Kurama’s a fox. Kurama is sexy, which is good. Kurama eats rice, which is also good. So sexy and rice are good. Wait, no, foxes and rice are good. If the fox is Kurama, then you get sexy as an added bonus. Inari-sama, I am a complete loser.

“Right, that’s enough. ...Aya? Why are you giggling?â€

I ceased my giggling and regained my composure as Kuronue opened the door. “I was snickering evilly.â€

“Okay, why were you snickering evilly?â€

“Oh, the purple zebras were just telling me about their plans for world domination.â€

Kuronue rolled his eyes. He was gullible, but not that gullible. “Sure they were.â€

“It’s all very brilliant, but they have to tackle this one problem before they can get started on the first country, Guam.â€

“And what’s that?â€

“No opposable thumbs.â€

“I can see how that could be a problem.â€

“Yes. ...Ah, Yukina-chan!â€

“Hey, Yukina.â€

Sure enough, Yukina was there at the counter, preparing sushi. She turned around. “Kuronue-kun, hello. ...And Aya-chan? Is that you?â€

“The one and only.†A beat. “At least, I certainly hope the only.â€

“What happened?â€

I shrugged. “Some panther guy turned me into a demon.â€

“Okay,†she said, cheerfully returning to the sushi. “Oh, and dinner will be ready in about fifteen minutes, so no snacks.â€

“No snacks?†I whined.

“No.â€

âS 64;œHow about a riceball?†suggested Kuronue.

“No. No snacks.â€

“Just one!â€

“Well... okay,†she yielded. “But only one each, and they have to be small.â€

“Yatta!â€

“Thank you, mother,†said Kuronue.

Yukina lightly whacked him on the arm with a paper fan, smiling. “I told you not to call me that.â€

“Sorry, mother.â€

She giggled at his obviously feigned innocence and shook her head slightly before again returning to the sushi. “Just don’t spoil your appetite.â€

I giggled as well as I took a small handful of rice and began to form it into the right shape. “Nee, Yukina-chan? Why do you have a fan in here?â€

“Well, it can get pretty hot in here if I’m cooking something,†she explained, then leaned a bit closer to whisper, “But it’s mostly to hit Kuronue-kun with.â€

“I heard that,†said Kuronue. We giggled again and I could almost hear him rolling his eyes. “You two are such girls.â€

“Well, yes,†said Yukina.

“I should certainly hope so, at least,†said I, holding back a smirk at Kuronue’s glance. “I mean, living all your life as a girl, and then, bam, you’re a guy. I really hope that’s not the case. ...Oh, honestly, Kuronue, stop looking at me like that. I’m
kidding.â€

â€& #339;Uh huh,†he said before he bit into his riceball, pretending to not entirely believe me. “And how can we be sure?â€

“Well, I could tell you if Yukina-chan weren’t in the room.â€

“Ah.â€

“Huh?â€

“Nothin g, Yukina-chan,†I said, the very picture of innocence.

“Oh, by the way, Aya, about the spare rooms,†said Kuronue suddenly. “I’m pretty sure one of them doesn’t have spiders, but I don’t remember which.â€
I maturely stuck out my tongue.

~~~

Dinner and rest of the evening continued like that, Kuronue and I tossing cracks at each other with Yukina giggling and occasionally throwing in a comment of her own while Genkai did her best to ignore us. It was female bonding time! ...Except one was a guy. Eh.

~~~

“Aya!â€

I grunted.

“Get up!â€

“What time is it?â€

“About 8:00!â€

“Mm.†I rolled over on the futon. “Too early.â€

“Get up!†Kuronue slid the door open, treating me to the Batglare™.

“What are you, my personal alarm clock?â€

“Yes! Now get up!â€

I chucked my pillow at him. “You get up.â€

“I am up,†he said, catching it.

“Hm. So you are.†I lifted my head off the bare floor to look at him. “Hey, can you give me my pillow back?â€

He rolled his eyes and tossed it at me before leaving, closing the door behind him. I made myself comfortable and went back to sleep.

~~~

“Aya!â€

I groaned and sat up. “What now?â€

“Guess.â€
“No. Go away.†I lay back down.

I heard him growl slightly as he half-stomped over to me and attempted to yank away my blanket. “Up!â€

“No!&acir c;€ I whined childishly, hanging on as if the blanket were my lifeline, but he shook me off anyway. I landed hard on my rear. “Itai. Give it back.â€

“No. Get up.â€

I sighed and complied. “Fine, fine,†I grumbled, standing and stretching. “Give my blanket back so I make up the futon.†He handed it back to me and crossed his arms. “...Shoo. I also need to get dressed.â€

As soon as he was gone, I lay back down and went back to sleep.

~~~

“Hey, wait a second!†The door slid open once more, and a bat demon stalked over to me. “You slept in your clothes! You don’t need to get dressed!â€

I whined extra-loudly as he ripped my blanket from me and stood up to try to get it back. He held it above my head, causing me to stand on my toes to try to get get it, but he was freakishly tall, so it was to no avail. “No!â€

“Oh, come on.â€

Wait... I blinked, then sniffed. “Bacon!†I darted past him and allowed my nose to lead me to the kitchen, where Yukina was cooking. “Baconbaconbaconbaconbacon!†I exclaimed, hopping up and down behind her like a hyperactive chipmunk on
Christmas morning. Even as a human, I could smell bacon from two houses over.

She turned around. “Oh! Good morning, Aya-chan!â€

“Whenbaconready?Whenbac onready?Whenbaconready?Baconbaconbaconbaconbacon!â€

&a circ;€œIt should be about ten minutes.â€

“Aw!†I trudged into the main room, where Kuronue now sat, and plopped down on the floor, sighing dejectedly. “No ready yet... Hmph.†I leaned on the table and rested my head on my shoulders, pouting. Then I began to drift back into sleep.

“I don’t believe this...â€

~~~

I woke up, again, but this time with a start. “Bacon!â€

“I really don’t believe this...â€

Ignoring Kuronue, I ran into the kitchen, grabbed a plate, served myself a generous helping or three of bacon and eggs, ran back to the table, and wolfed down my breakfast, pun unintended. This all took about three minutes. I sighed and leaned back on my arms, satiated, then addressed a certain bat demon: “Kuronue, go put my plate in the kitchen.â€

He sweatdropped. “Why should I?â€

“Because I asked nicely.â€

“No, you didn’t.â€

“Okay , put my plate in the kitchen please.â€

“No!â€

“Man.â€

Yukina appeared. “I’ll take it for you,†she said.

I shook my head in protest and stood up to do so myself. “No, no, I’ll do it.â€

Kuronue crossed his arms. “You tell me to do something, and then when Yukina comes along and offers, you refuse.â€

“Well, I can’t just take advantage of Yukina,†I stated, walking away.

Kuronue’s voice followed me into the kitchen. “Oh, but it’s okay to take advantage of me?â€

“Yup.†In my mind’s eye, I could see him rolling his eyes as he walked away. Washing my plate, I suddenly thought of something:

So what’s up with Tums, anyway?

I set the now-clean plate on the counter and drifted into my own little world.

They’re for indigestion. They flavor them so that they won’t taste bad, but instead of tasting good, it makes them just taste odd. Say, Tums. I wonder if the word “tummy†has anything to do with that? Take Tums For Your Tummy. I like that. It should be their slogan. Maybe it is. What is their slogan, anyway? “Slogan†backwards spells “nagols†but that doesn’t mean anything except for “slogan†backwards. Hey, Logan! I love that guy. Logan is my buddy. I’m sad that X-Men: Evolution is over. Hey, they could make their own alphabet thing for small people. Alphabet-thing-making-people always use “xylophone†for X, but those crazy folks over at Marvel could use Xavier! It is Marvel, right? Kind of like dust mites, except not. Actually, they-

“It’s Aya, right?â€

“Yaah!†; My thoughts were interrupted by behind me at about waist-height. I collected myself and turned around. “Ah, Genkai-sensei. Hello. Yes, that’s right.â€

“Thought so. You’re not used to being a demon, are you?â€

“Demon?†I looked down at my tail and twitched my ears. “Oh, yeah. Forgot about that, actually.â€

“Is that a no, then?â€

“Yes. I mean no. I mean, yes, that’s a no.â€

“Hm. Well, unless you want your new, cheap, artificial powers to go haywire on your ass, I suggest you learn to use them,†she said.

“How do I do that? I don’t even know what they are, aside from the basic boosted agility and strength.â€

Genkai grunted. “Come,†she ordered, and, without further ado, walked away, obviously assuming I would follow. I did, and she led me to a large room I figured to be the dojo. “Sit.†I sat, half expecting her to say “stay†next. She didn’t, instead
choosing to sit opposite me. Her eyes were closed, but I still felt as if she were staring at me.

I fidgeted uncomfortably. “So.â€

Her eyes opened. “Hold your hands, out palm-up.†I blinked and complied. “Now focus your energy into a sphere. It might help if you close your eyes.†I nodded, closing my eyes and, again, complying.

This was not new to me. I concentrated, feeling my spirit as it flowed through my body. I mentally pulled it all to my chest, then out to my cupped hands. Before, I had always felt that I couldn’t manage to gather the energy I felt in myself, and that there was so much hidden deep within me that I could never get at. This time, though the process was the same, the energy felt different, not to mention stronger. It was also more accessible, and I cautiously opened my eyes to see a swirling ball of silver.

“White? How interesting,†said Genkai. “That’s not very common.â€

“White? How boring,†said I. “I like green much better.â€

Genkai ignored my shallow comment. “White spirit energy indicates a strong connection with one’s spiritual self,†she elaborated. “You seem to have done this before, you know.â€

I was still staring at my ki. “I have. But this time it was easier. And stronger. And visible.â€

She nodded. “That would be one of the differences between reiki and youki. As a demon, you are more in tune with your own power. Youkai almost never have white spirit energy, though.â€

I shrugged. “I’m not really a youkai.â€

“True enough.â€

“Can I put it away now?â€

“Put it...? Oh. Yeah.†I reabsorbed my brand-spanking-new youki and Genkai stood. “I got a good look at it. You’re not at all inclined towards fighting, another odd thing for a youkai. This is certainly interesting,†she said, now talking more to herself than me. “This experiment seems to have transformed your ki as well as your physical body, but the nature of your ki remained the same.â€

I cocked my head on my head, probably looking more like a confused puppy than ever before. “What about when Yusuke was demon-ified?â€

“He had demonic personality traits to begin with. More than the average human, actually. But the closest things to demonic traits in you are mischief and occasional sadism.â€

“Sounds right to me.â€

“Which leads me to wonder,†she continued, “why the experiment didn’t fail. It must be some technology and genius we’re dealing with here. I’d like to talk to that panther, but he seems to be... incapacitated.â€

“That he is, that he is. But why did I take the form of a wolf?â€

“Hm? Oh.†The old psychic returned her attention to me. “Probably your playful and expressive nature combined with devout loyalty. There’s something else, too – some sort of general wolfishness – but I can’t put my finger on it.â€

“Mm.†I knew what she was talking about, though it wouldn’t be mentioned further in this fanfiction. Then I again wondered at my thought. It’s not like this was a fanfiction, of course...

“In any case,†said Genkai, “your best bet is probably healing. Go talk to Yukina. I’ve got things to do.â€

“Goodbye,†I said, watching as she rather unceremoniously walked away. Now to find Yukina.

~~~

I found her, and for the next couple hours, she trained me in the art of spirit healing. (If you all really care that much about it, say so in a review and I’ll write it, but I somehow doubt you do. I don’t.)

~~~

“Alrig ht, that’s all for today,†said Yukina. “You’re learning very well.â€

I shrugged. “I don’t really see the point if I’m not going to be a demon for very long, anyway.â€

She beamed at me. Then again, the little koorime usually was. “Oh, don’t worry about that. Humans can heal, too, if they’re trained; just not as effectively.â€

Kuronue appeared. “Hello, ladies!â€

“Hello!â€

“Yo. What up.â€

Kuronue briefly raised an eyebrow at my choice of greetings and shrugged it off. “Kurama’s here. Says he has something for Aya.â€

My eyes lit up. “Is it candy?â€

“See for yourself. He’s in the main room.†With that, he walked away again.

“I’ll make tea!†exclaimed Yukina, and hurried off to do so.

I sweatdropped. What is with that girl and tea? Oh, yeah! Possible candy! I skipped (yes, skipped) to the main room, where Kurama was indeed talking to Kuronue.

Or, rather, Kuronue was talking to him. “-I swear, the girl sleeps like a log.â€

“Logs don’t sleep,†pointed out the redhead.

“Oh, shut up. I see your pedantry hasn’t changed any. Seriously, though, I even tried dragging her out of bed, and even that didn’t work. But you know what? The minute she smelled bacon, she shot up and into the kitchen like a bullet. I couldn’t get her up, but bacon could.â€

Kurama nodded. “The smell of food always does.†Kuronue snickered.

I glared, then pointed in a random direction and announced my presence: “Look, Kuronue, naked women.â€

“What?†He turned to look. “...Hey!â€

“Ha, ha.â€

“Hey, at least I don’t have an irrational fear of spiders.â€

“What are you afraid of, anyway?â€

“I’d rather not say.â€

“Needles,†said Kurama.

We both shuddered and said in unison, “Don’t say that word!â€

“Oh, are you afraid of needles, too, Aya?â€

“Don’t say it!†we both shouted.

“Don’t say what?â€

“The word!â€

“Needle?â€

“Don’t say it!â€

“Why don’t you want me to say-â€

“Don’ t!â€

“-needle?â€

We shuddered violently again and I glared. “You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?â€

He smirked. “Yup. Needle.â€

The Batglareâ„¢ was added to my own. “Do you want me to tell her about Lord Fujimori’s enchanted sword?â€

Kurama blushed slightly. “Hey, you were just as- ah... -as I was.â€

“Yeah, but I don’t care, see.â€

I glanced back and forth between them. “What?â€

Kuronue smirked. “Well, we were-â€

“Okay, I’ll stop!†said Kurama, holding his hands up in surrender.

I frowned. “But what about Lord Fujimori’s enchanted sword?â€

“Sorry, Aya,†the bat explained, “but I need that for blackmail material.â€

“Hmph. Well, okay.†A thought struck me. “Or was that an invitation to get it from you the hard way?â€

“The hard-?†Kuronue paled considerably. “No! Stay out of my head! No mind-reading!â€

Kurama gave me that look that I was getting used to. “Did you tell him-?â€

“Hey, he walked right into it,†I said defensively.

“You mean...†Kuronue’s brow furrowed. “Aya can’t read minds?â€

“No.â€

“Yes.â€

Kuronue crossed his arms. “Prove it. What am I thinking right now?â€

“Hmm.†I pretended to concentrate. “Kuronue-kun is thinking... that maybe I can’t read minds, after all.â€

Kurama shook his head at Kuronue’s panicked expression. “That didn’t count. Kuronue, think of something completely random.†He nodded.

“...Kuronue-kun is now humming a song in his head.â€

“Oh my God!â€

“Kuronue, she’s not psychic.â€

“Sure?â€

“Yes. Aya, how did you-?â€

I shrugged. “It’s what I would have thought of.â€

“Peas in a pod...†he muttered.

“Hey!†I put my hands on my hips indignantly. “Did you just call us peas? Did he just call us peas?â€

“I think he did,†Kuronue replied darkly.

“Well!â€

â&# 8364;œWe are offended, Kurama.â€

“Offended and insulted.â€

“Isnâ€͐ 2;t that the same thing?â€

“Shut up. We’re teaming up on the fox here.â€

“Right. We are offended and insulted.†Kurama just sighed and massaged his templed. “Hey,†mock-whispered Kuronue, poking me in the shoulder, “I think we’re getting to him.â€

I poked him back in the side, since it was much closer than his shoulder. “Yeah. How long do you think ‘till he snaps?â€

“Don’t know.â€

“I can hear you two perfectly well, you know,†stated Kurama.

“...He says he can hear us,†I mock-whispered.

“He might be lying.â€

“What if he isn’t?â€

“...Th en we’ll have to kill him.†We both turned are heads slowly to look at the annoyed fox.

He groaned. “Will you two shut up already?â€

“Hai.†I straightened up and saluted.

Kuronue mimicked me. “Hai, koibito.â€

“Don†482;t call me that!†We snickered at his blush.

“But what about all the fun times we had?†Kurama growled slightly in embarrassed frustration, putting a hand over his face. Kuronue smiled ‘sweetly.’ “Aw, is koibito being shy?â€

“Nee,†I said, curiosity piqued, “did you really-? Were you really-?â€

“No!†yelled Kurama. Yes, yelled.

Kuronue put a finger to his lips and winked at me. “That’ll just be our little secret.â€

“Ah.†I smiled ‘knowingly’ before noticing a flash of gold in Kurama’s green eyes. Whoops. “Ne, Kuronue-kun, we should probably lay off before he goes crazy.†Or before he goes Youko.

“And attempts to gouge his own eyes out with a spoon, which would be a shame, because he’s got damn pretty eyes?â€

“Yup.â€

“Were those really your exact words?â€

“Yup.â€
Yukina’s voice suddenly rang from the doorway. “The tea is ready!â€

I suppressed a sigh of relief as we seated ourselves. Good old interruptions. Now for a change of subject. “Nee, Kitsune, Kuronue said you have something to give me. Is it candy?â€

“Even better.†He pulled my backpack out from... somewhere... (I don’t know.) “I brought you your homework assignments for today.â€

My face fell. “Oh. Joy,†I said sarcastically.

“I knew you’d be thrilled.â€

“Ecstatic.†;

Suddenly, Botan flew in. Somehow. I scowled. “What’s with all the crappy scene changes?â€

Two men and one oar-wielding woman stared at me. “What are you talking about?â€

“...I have no idea.â€

The ferry girl shrugged it off and spoke. “I’m afraid I have some bad news.â€

“What is it?†asked Kuronue, who obviously didn’t care at all.

“The demon we brought in has yet to recover from his insanity. If it’s permanent, we may never find a way to turn Aya back.â€

“Oh, shucky-darn,†I said, snapping my fingers.

“This is a very serious matter, Aya!†scolded Botan.

“I know, I know,†I said, holding my hands up. “Look, could I talk to him?â€

She blinked. “I suppose... He’s relatively harmless right now. I’ll ask Koenma-sama.†Botan pulled out her Reikai Walkie-Talkie, as I called it. “Koenma-sama, may I bring him down here?†The Return of the Static. “Right.†She closed it and nodded to us. “I’ll be right back.â€

We all sat there for a moment, twiddling our thumbs. Well, I twiddled my thumbs, anyway.

She flew back in, this time toting Panther Guy.

I nodded. “Okay, let me talk to him.â€

Botan nodded and set him on the floor in front of the table across from me. His head was tilted limply to one side, wearing a dopey grin and blank eyes.

“You know, you never did give me that Snoopy band-aid.â€

He muttered to himself.

“You owe me exactly one Snoopy band-aid,†I informed him.

His words were barely understandable. “No owe.â€

“Yes, you do.â€

“Owe nothing.â€

“Ya-huh.â€
“Nuh-uh.â€

â€&# 339;I want my Snoopy band-aid.â€

“No owe. No have.â€

“I think you do. I think you’re hiding them from me.â€

“Huh-uh.â€
“Give me my Snoopy band-aid.â€

“...â€

“Give it to me! Now!â€

“Can’t!& acirc;€

“Why not?â€

“Don’t have.â€

“I can’t hear you!â€

“Don’ t have one!â€

“You’ ;re lying to me, I know you are!â€

“I’m not lying!â€

“Yes you are! Give me my Snoopy band-aid!â€

“I don’t have your damn Snoopy band-aid! Leave me alone!â€

There was a pause.

“...Whoah. I don’t know if I should be mad or grateful.â€

“Be grateful. And that’ll be Â¥2000 for my services.†He shot me a dark look to which I smiled, waving a hand dismissively. “Oh, don’t worry. I’ll accept an IOU.â€

The other three shook their heads disbelievingly. “How did you know that would work?†asked Kurama.

I shrugged. “I didn’t.†Sweatdrop all around.

“Well, anyway,†said Botan, “we need to know how to turn Aya back into a human.â€

Panther Guy blinked. “Turn her back?â€

“You mean you don’t know how?â€

“Why should I? I wasn’t planning on turning her back.†At Botan’s glare, he amended, “But it should be quite easy, with the right Makai plants. Just have to brew it right.†He then went on to explain what exactly was needed and how to go about brewing them. After about five minutes, he concluded, “See? Very simple.â€

Botan, Kuronue and I stared at him with dot-eyes as Kurama nodded. “Yes. I’ll go out and get them right now,†he said, standing up.

“Right!†said Botan, recovering from the long and complicated explanation mostly compiled of apparent gibberish. “I’ll go collect the other boys for his interrogation.â€

“I have to be interrogated?â€

“Of course,†she said. He sighed, and Botan turned to Kuronue. “I trust you can keep him under control?â€

“Sure.â€

“Hey,†I protested, “what about me? I’m a demon now. Can’t I keep him under control, too?â€

She sweatdropped. “Oh, right. You too, Aya. Just make sure he doesn’t get away, and be wary of any attacks.â€

“You make me sound like a feral dog or something,†said the decidedly feline demon. “It’s rather demeaning.â€

He was ignored.

~~~

So, Kuronue, and Panther Guy, and Yukina (forgot she was there, did you?) and I sat there sipping tea for a while. It wasn’t very interesting. Kuronue scratched his nose. I inspected my tail. Panther Guy’s ears twitched. Yukina was cheerful. You get
the idea.

~~~

Eventually, the ingredients were gathered (as were Yusuke, Kuwabara, and somehow Hiei) and the potion was brewed. Panther Guy was about to hand me the vial of oddly odorless liquid, but hesitated. “You don’t care if you’re in extreme pain, right?â€

I sweatdropped. “Of course I care.â€

He sighed and addressed Kurama. “I assume you know the basic Kuzuitairi potion?â€

“Of course. I actually have some on me right now.†He removed a small vial from... somewhere...

Kuwabara nudged Kuronue in the side. “Oi, you know him best. Where does he keep all that stuff? There’s no way he could fit it all in his hair,†he whispered.

Kuronue shrugged and whispered back, “Beats me, and I’ve been wondering for at least three hundred years. I have a theory that there’s some sort of dimensional pocket in his hair.â€

My eavesdropping was interrupted as Kurama handed me both vials. “The estimated time for the reversing potion to work is about 45 minutes, but we’ll give you an hour’s dosage of the painkiller to be safe. Take this one first.†He handed it to me.

“The Kuzuitairi potion is extremely efficient, but will put the user into a dreamlike state while in effect. That’s why it’s not used extensively in the Makai, as relatively safe situations such as this don’t come up very often. That, and it smells bad. In any
case, you won’t remember anything afterwards, and we’ll interrogate while you’re... incapacitated,†he concluded, handing me the other vial.

Like the first, I downed the foul-smelling gunk in one gulp, blinked a couple times, and promptly started giggling uncontrollably. Then everything went foggy.

~~~

.

~~~

A/N: If you’re wondering how Aya has developed such an intelligent manner of speaking in a foreign language, consider who she lives with. Also, I didn’t make up the aura thing. That’s what tickle-dot-com said mine was. And yes, I have done that before – I just won’t bore you with the details.

A reviewer pointed out two things that I guess I didn’t explain very well.

1. “Realistic Fiction means you aren't allowed to pull a gas mask out of your pocket. It wouldn't fit in the pocket in the first place, and you never mentioned packing it.â€

A: It’s not a gas mask – it’s a face mask, the kind the Japanese wear when they get a cold, in order to prevent spreading it. Aya had it on her because she tends to carry a lot of random stuff around with her.

2. “If Hiei's picking up Aya's random thoughts, what happened to her mental shield?â€

A: It’s not a very good mental shield, and Aya’s surface thoughts are rather loud. And he’s Hiei.

Right, moving on. Pairings? Hmm. I’ve already established the severe lack of romance between myself and Kurama, though it’s not easy. God, that man is sexy.

Yusuke and Keiko are canon, so they’re a couple. Seeing as it’s both canon and cute, though the latter is debatable, there might be some Kuwabara/Yukina, but if there is, it won’t be anything excessive or out of the ordinary.

There will probably be a couple tiny hints of Hiei/Kurama, mostly in the way of me teasing them, and Kuronue likes to imply that there was something going on between him and Kurama before he died, though he is vague and could be just implying
nonsense to tease the hell out of Kurama. I honestly don’t know which. My version of Kuro-kun is either straight or bi, and he won’t tell me which.

Hiei all but fears Misako, and I don’t blame him. Panther Guy won’t even get a name, let alone a romantic interest. Mikado (he’ll show up next chapter) won’t be around much, and anyway, he’s taken, though his boyfriend won’t show up. (All I know
about Mikado’s boyfriend is that he’s a little shorter than Shuichi-Kurama, has shag-style platinum-blond hair, and is really sweet. Even so, I love him almost as much as I love the Twins of Mi.)

It’s safe to assume the ones I’ve left out won’t be happening.

Hiei and Kurama’s actual sexual persuasions won’t really be called into play, but you might be wondering what my view is. In regards to Hiei, I have no clue. For all I know, he could be neither. Kurama strikes me as bi.