Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction ❯ Red ❯ The Reason ( Chapter 5 )

DISCLAIMER: I don't own anything.

 

- - - - - - - - - -

 

I'm not a perfect person.

There's many things I wish I didn't do,

But I continue learning.

I never meant to do those things to you,

And so I have to say before I go

That I just want you to know…

 

* * *

 

It didn't take long for Kuwabara to help Hiei home, but the whole time, Hiei raged at his incapacity, at the fact that it had taken him over half an hour to walk a distance that the oaf could go in less than ten. However, as soon as he saw Kurama's house, he forgot all about his anger.

 

The place had never looked so welcoming, but something was going on. There were far too many people there. Hiei saw no one that he knew, just a group of men in blue scurrying around or standing next to those things Kurama called cars.

 

“Cops,” Kuwabara explained, before Hiei asked. “They're all trying to find you.”

 

“They don't know what I look like,” Hiei said flatly. He didn't like the idea of going through a group that big, especially when every person there had spent most of their day searching for him.

 

“Kurama has photos…little pictures of you.”

 

“What? How did he get pictures of me?!”

 

Kuwabara smiled. “He takes them when you aren't looking or cuts them out of Makai wanted ads.”

 

“Why?” Hiei asked, mystified.

“It's what people who are in love do.”

 

Instead of trying to form a reply to this ridiculous statement, Hiei watched the stupid police run around, completely unaware that the one they were looking for was standing not fifteen feet away. Hiei knew that he should be thanking Kuwabara right now, but he wasn't quite ready for that much to change yet. Still, he had to say something…”Oaf?”

 

“What?”

 

“From now on, when you fight, step forward when you block. It'll help you direct your opponent where you want him to go, and gain you valuable ground which you would lose if you stepped backward, the way your mind automatically tells you to.”

 

Kuwabara gaped at him for a moment, and then smiled slowly and said, “I'll be sure to remember that. So…should we go in now? I can sneak you in the back so you don't have to see the cops, and Kurama will be wanting to see you.”

 

* * *

 

I've found a reason for me

To change who I used to be,

A reason to start over new,

And the reason is you.

 

* * *

 

“Now, one more time, sir. Is there anywhere else that your friend could have gone, someplace you forgot to mention before?”

 

“Maybe…no…I don't know!” THUD.

 

“Shuuichi, calm down…”

 

“Mother, please…”

 

“Your mother is right. We can only help you if you help us.”

 

“Hey! That's not what I meant! I just wanted him not to punch a hold in the wall of his home. He's helping as much as he can! Can't you see how upset he is?”

 

“I understand that you're worried, but—”

 

“No. You can't possibly understand what I'm feeling right now. This goes way beyond worried, and your repetitive questions are not helping!” THUD. CRASH.

 

“Are you going to find him, or not?”

 

“We aren't sure, Urameshi-san. It looks like this kid doesn't want to be found.”

 

“Well, aren't you guys hired to find people who don't want to be found?”

 

Kuwabara and Hiei listened with interest to the four people in Kurama's kitchen. They had snuck in through the back door, and gone through the living room to listen to the conversation through the cracked kitchen door. The people were easily identified: the stranger asking the questions must have been a detective, Kurama answered in a slightly hysterical way, Shiori was the one telling Kurama not to break things, and Yusuke would be the angry one.

 

“Yep, they've had this conversation about four times today,” Kuwabara told Hiei. “Why don't you get in there before Kurama kills the chief of police?”

 

Hiei forced himself to nod. He would much rather have waited in Kurama's room, but it was impossible to know how long Kurama would spend arguing with the cops before coming up to try to get some sleep. It was time to face the music. Kuwabara let go of him, and he swayed a moment before steadying himself, then stumped forward, teetering comically. Kuwabara felt no urge to laugh.

 

When Hiei reached the doorway between the living room and the kitchen, he found it impossible to go any further. He stopped and leaned heavily against the doorframe. It was only then that he realized how much he had relied on Kuwabara's strength to get him back here. He hadn't actually taken it, though the Jagan longed to whip out and leech energy from the big orange-haired man. Still, he had let Kuwabara half-carry him all the way.

 

He didn't even care right now, though. His gaze was fixed on Kurama. No one in the room had seen him yet, so he waited, and watched.

 

The officer stood at the end of the table, facing the other three. He wore a badge on his blue uniform shirt, and in his hand was a notepad on which he had obviously just been writing. Kurama sat in a chair at the table. He looked exhausted, his eyes shadowed and red-rimmed, his hair unkempt, and his head supported by his hand. Yusuke stood behind him, his hands on Kurama's shoulders, lending what comfort he could, his whole body rigid as he glared at the police officer. Shiori leaned against the wall, also glowering.

 

Yusuke noticed Hiei first. His muscles relaxed, and his hands dropped to his sides. He closed his eyes and opened them again, slowly.

 

Kurama sensed the change in his friend, and raised his head. His arm fell to the table and his eyes locked with Hiei's. They came alive again, and his mouth formed Hiei's name.

 

Hiei felt himself smile, and it was an odd sensation. He didn't feel as if he should be smiling. “I think that was the stupidest thing I've ever done. What do you think?”

 

Tears sprang to Kurama's eyes, and before Hiei could feel guilty, the fox leapt out of his chair and sprang lightly across the room. He grabbed Hiei up in his arms and simply held him. Neither of them spoke; no words were needed. They weren't even aware of everyone watching them, and probably wouldn't have cared anyway.

 

The officer's eyes popped wide open when Hiei pulled Kurama down and kissed him, hard, and Yusuke gave an undignified snort of laugher. Shiori, too smiled, then shook her head as the officer started to ask about Hiei's physical condition, and took him by the arm and led him out of the room, through the living room, and out the door. Yusuke followed them, and Kuwabara snuck out too, and then Kurama and Hiei were alone.

 

* * *

 

I'm sorry that I hurt you.

It's something I must live with every day.

And all the pain I put you through;

I wish that I could take it all away,

And be the one who captures all your tears.

That's why I need you to hear…

 

* * *

 

The two of them might have stood there, in Kurama's doorway, exchanging kisses, all night, if Hiei's legs hadn't decided at that moment to give up on him completely. They folded without his permission, and he fell halfway to the floor before Kurama caught him.

 

“Hiei-koi, what have you been doing?” Kurama cried, noticing how shaky the Jaganshi was.

 

Hiei's knees shook, but he glowed at the kitsune's name for him. “Oh, fighting demons, saving ningen, this and that. I'm fine.”

 

“And I'm supposed to believe that? Come on. We're going up to my room so I can have a look and see what you've done to yourself now.” And ignoring Hiei's protests, he scooped the demon up off the floor and carried him up the stairs.

 

Over the next hour, Kurama cleaned and rebandaged all of Hiei's cuts, breaks, and scrapes, washing off all of the grime as he did so, and then he made some more of his medicine, and Hiei drank it while Kurama made them dinner down in the kitchen, after making Hiei promise to be in the room when he returned.

 

But finally, the bustle ended, and quiet fell over the apartment. Kurama brought up a big bowl of chicken soup, two sodas, and what he explained as “Season One of Buffy on DVD.” Hiei had never heard of any of these things, but Kurama insisted that he would love every single one of them. He put in a DVD and joined Hiei on the bed. Hiei forgot pride and curled up next to him, enjoying the feeling of being so close to someone. Kurama balanced the tray with the soup on it over their legs, and ate with one hand while his other arm held Hiei close. Hiei took a bite of the stuff, and realized that he was ravenous and that the soup tasted amazing. He began to eat in earnest as Kurama turned out the light and the show started.

 

All in all, everything was, so far, absolutely perfect.

 

* * *

 

I've found a reason for me,

To change who I used to be,

A reason to start over new,

And the reason is you.

And the reason is you.

And the reason is you.

And the reason is you.

 

* * *

They didn't sleep until late that night, or rather, early the next morning. They ate all of the soup, drank the sodas, which Hiei found absolutely wonderful, and watched two episodes of Buffy. Then Kurama paused the DVD, and went downstairs for a bit. He came back with two bowls of something white and black, and introduced Hiei to a truly extraordinary food group: dessert.

 

Hiei probably should have known that it was too good to last.

 

They were just about to start the second DVD when Kurama picked up the remote and turned off the TV. He set his empty bowl on the table and turned to face Hiei. “We need to talk.”

 

Hiei's first impulse was to look away, but he met Kurama's gaze squarely. “Yes, we do.”

 

There was a long and silent battle over who would go first, and then Kurama said, “I'm sorry.”

 

Hiei gaped. Of all the things he had expected Kurama to say, this had not even entered the realm of his thinking. He couldn't think of anything to say, so he simply waited for Kurama to continue.

 

“Well, it's my fault you ran away, isn't it?”

 

“How the hell do you figure?”

 

Kurama's voice was soft as he answered. “I should have let you go.”

 

Hiei was actually struck dumb for a few seconds. He simply sat and stared at Kurama with wide eyes. For the first time, he made no attempt to mask his thoughts. Are you really that mad at me?…I thought you'd want me back…You confuse me…

 

“I should have let you go,” Kurama repeated. “You wanted to, wanted to be with Yukina. You would have been if I hadn't gone to Makai to get you. You would have been happy…I was just being selfish. I'm so sorry.” Hiei tried to speak, but Kurama didn't notice and went on. “But you can't know how that would have killed me. I can't even tell the extent of it. You and me, Hiei…we've lost so much, and I couldn't stand the thought of losing even one more thing. I didn't even take the time to think about you, and what you might want, which I guess is the reason you ran off. And…”

 

“Is it my turn yet?”

 

* * *

 

I'm not a perfect person.

I never meant to do those things to you,

And so I have to say before I go

That I just want you to know…

 

* * *

 

Kurama stopped mid-sentence at the words, happy to be interrupted because he really had no idea what to say next.

 

Hiei didn't wait for a reply to his question. “Stupid. We're both stupid, Kurama. All we had to do was talk, and this whole thing could have been avoided. Well, I'm ending the idiocy right now. Kurama, none of this is your fault. You were just being you when you saved me. You were just showing the part of your personality that I…I think I…love most. I was the selfish one. I was only concerned about my own pain, and I forgot that everyone else had lost something precious, too. I don't think Yukina and Genkai were the only ones to…to die that day. I think that a part of each of us died, too. I've been trying to figure it out, and I think that that kind of loss kills a bit of everyone. But…with the right touch, those parts can come alive again.” And here, he gave Kurama a look that left no doubt to his meaning. “You shouldn't be punishing yourself, fox. I won't let you, because you did what no one else could. You have me a reason to live again.”

 

Kurama's eyes filled with tears, and Hiei flushed red.

 

“And regardless of any of that, if you ever breathe a word of this conversation to anyone, I'll set the Dragon on you.”

 

Kurama chuckled and wiped his eyes. “You know, I think I love you.”

 

* * *

 

I've found a reason for me,

To change who I used to be,
A reason to start over new,

And the reason is you.

 

* * *

 

Hiei woke early, and the first thing he saw was that Kurama was still there. He was awake, and watching him with a little smile on his face.

 

“How long have you been awake?”

 

“Little while.” Kurama leaned down and kissed him lightly. “How do you feel? From yesterday's adventures, I mean?”

 

Hiei shrugged, and bit back a groan as his muscles protested. “Sore.”

 

Kurama's contentment changed instantly to concern. “I can imagine. Do you need the medicine?”

 

“No. I don't want you to leave.”

 

“Are you sure?” Hiei nodded. “Good. I didn't want to get up yet,” Kurama said, pulling Hiei even closer. “In fact, I don't think I ever want to get up again.”

 

“I'm good for that. Can we watch the vampires some more?”

 

Kurama laughed out loud. “I knew you were into it!”

 

“When does that English vampire come in?”

 

“Second season. We should be able to get there today…”

 

That day seemed…different, somehow. There were no issues clouding Hiei's mind, and Kurama was also content. They never actually got out of bed except to change disks, and instead spent the entire day snuggled together in bed, watching Buffy and talking about whatever came to mind. The phone rang off the hook until Kurama got tired of ignoring it and unplugged it, and twice someone came to the door and rang the bell for a while, finally leaving after nine or ten rings. When they got hungry, Kurama got snacks instead of cooking anything. Hours passed unnoticed in this manner, as the lovers reveled in their newfound happiness.

All in all, Hiei was utterly relaxed by the time day faded into night. The ache was still there and Hiei knew it would never fade completely, but somehow, it didn't seem so bad now.

 

* * *

 

I've found a reason to show

A side of me you didn't know,

A reason for all that I do,

And the reason is you.

 

- - - - - - - - - -

 

One more chapter to go and it's over! *cries* R&R, please, people, and make me feel slightly better about finishing another fic!

 

- - - - - - - - - -

 

 

Reviewers' comments:

 

DragonRose888: Thanks for the review! Why do you twitch, though? Was it bad?

 

East Kaioshin: Nope, not the end, as is now obvious! One more chapter, and it will be, though. Which makes me very sad…and it's not a stupid question. I just realized how much I tend to make each chapter sound like the end of the story…gotta work on that…thanks for the review!

 

SitDog-Boy: Thanks for the review, and yes, everything did turn out okay…maybe…depends on the next and last chapter. And I'm sorry I took so long to update, but I wasn't feeling like typing lately…

 

Forbiddensoul562: Thanks for the review, but you are wrong about one thing…marshmallows did not destroy the dinosaurs. It was an alliance of three races: French monkeys, dots, and gremlins. Did I put enough fluff in this chapter? Not enough? Too much? What's too much? Anyway…feel free to keep rambling in reviews, because I love a long review, no matter how pointless.

 

KyoHana: Thanks for the review, and I agree completely with you about Kuwabara. He is not stupid and, barring a piano or a safe falling on his head, he never will be! GET THAT THROUGH YOUR HEADS, PEOPLE!

 

Evene: Thanks for the review! And I like Shizuru all right, but Keiko, Koenma, and Boton really get on my nerves, so I'm with ya on that one. And about the season thing: I never really set this story in a season, did I? But you know, every scene in here I've just pictured in snow, too, so let's just say: yeah, it's winter. It does sound wintry, doesn't it?

 

Jessica: Thanks for the review! And that's why I made Kuwa find him: so they could talk for a change.