Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction ❯ Sayonara to Normality! ❯ You're in Trouble Now, Shishi ( Chapter 8 )

I think I may have announced this before (or maybe it was the other fic…confusing damnit!) but my school starts the 26th (Later edit: Correction: I AM in school now and it royally sucks, being the social hermit that I am), so as of then I might not be able to update so frequently, unfortunately -_-'. Hopefully by then I can get my lock for my locker figured out, or my locker will be a popular target for vandalism.

Disclaimer: I OWN IT! I OWN IT I SAY! *People in white lab coats drag TRF off to a place with padded walls* NOOOOOOOOO, YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND! I OWN IT! I SWEAR I DO!

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Earth, Chika's house

'Oh that was too good. You really outdo yourself, wakamaru,' Shishi thought gleefully to himself as he walked inside. He wandered into the kitchen, having neglected breakfast entirely.

"Is all of this supposed to be edible?" he muttered disgustedly out loud looking at some of the stuff in the fridge. He finally took a bit of the 'iced cream', or whatever humans called it and started to eat.

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Earth, Chika's school

Chika walked into her history class ten minutes late and was met with stares from everyone, as she hadn't even bothered to put the things she didn't need for history in her locker on the way there, and slammed her book bag on the floor near the last available desk and glared at all the staring eyes.

"Ms. Kurusu, I expect you have an excuse for being late?" asked her stern, heavyset history teacher, Unburinge-Sensei.

"I had interruptions on the way," growled Chika.

"Such as…?" she inquired.

"My…my annoying foreign cousin held me up!" Chika lied quickly.

She grunted, "Very well. See that it doesn't happen again or you will find yourself with a zero for the day and detention after school."

"Yes, ma'am. I'll make sure of that, ma'am," and then she began to mumble under her breathe, "I'll pretend as though school IS my most important commitment, ma'am," she spat the last word.

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Earth, Chika's house

"Ooooh, what's this headache?" murmured Shishi after he'd finished off two cartons full of ice cream, "Stupid human food…and it's cold in here too…my head is spinning…" he promptly passed out.

Hah. Hopefully that'll teach him not to eat so much ice cream at virtually the same time.

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Earth, Chika's School

Chika frowned and chewed the end of her pen. Stupid English class. What'd they need to learn English for anyway? English-speaking people lived a bunch of miles away from here, for Christ's Sake, and it wasn't as though they'd start pouring into the country in hordes anytime soon. And she'd forgotten to study too. And she had PMS. And she was dreading going back home, as she half expected the house to be nothing but a pile of ash upon her return.

She suddenly pounded her fists on her desk and yelled, "Screw this English test!" for the whole classroom to hear, before ripping the paper (with all of its funny-looking English symbols) into fourths, slinging her book bag over her shoulder, and storming temperamentally out of the room, barely listening to the English teacher, Professor Black (He insisted they call him 'Professor', an English word, instead of the usual -sensei) from England, call to her that failing this test meant flunking English and needing to repeat it next year.

'Not as though I didn't already flunk that stupid class once…or twice…oh fine, this will be the third time I flunk it and I'll have to sit in too-small desks surrounded by thirteen years olds next year again…but so?!' she thought angrily.

"And I've been able to hear you whisper all year about 'the stupid, ugly sixteen-year-old who takes English with us, for your information, you little kisamas!" she snarled at the frightened thirteen-year-olds from the hallway. (Note: In case you weren't sure, 'kisama' is a very, very dirty word in Japanese. It's akin to the f-word. It's the word that people like Hiei use a lot and people from Funimation translate wrongly on purpose in the 'uncut Japanese subtitled version' of their DVDS because they don't think our delicate eyes could handle seeing it in subtitles).

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Geez, is Chika in a foul mood or what? This chapter has been hard to write so far, because of lack of chemistry between two or more at least semi-important characters. Blah. And school makes me feel uninspired. Plus, the fuckin' school prep girls who claim that 'they aren't popular' act like I'm some sort of retarded asylum escapee, even when I don't DO anything to them. And someone I thought was my friend decided she wanted to be like them, so she ignores me now. Bitch. Eh…*Looks at what she just wrote* I really need a Deadjournal to vent these feelings, anyone got a code for one that I could use to sign up?

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Earth, Chika's house

After Shishi got over the 'ice-cream shock' and vowed that one day when he was dictator of the universe, he would ban the foul thing's creation, he sauntered over to that electronic bundle of wires and metals that humans called 'computers'. He sighed at its vast inferiority to many things in Makai that probably could have got whatever job the humans wanted to use a computer for done in half time, at half the headache.

'But I suppose the pathetic creatures must make do,' he thought haughtily, suppressing the urge to give the computer a well-placed flick that was sure to make it fall apart at the seams.

"What?" he muttered reading the screen as a dialogue box reading, 'Would you like to sign into Toroku Messenger 2005, Kurusu150?' he raised his eyebrows and clicked the 'yes' option, deciding it couldn't hurt anything, plus the human hadn't laid down any restrictions about her computer. When it finished 'signing in', a list of names appeared on the list followed by either a black star, or a red x. He noticed that only one of the names, someone calling themselves Aggie McGonagall, had the black star next to it.

Suddenly, another dialogue box popped up, this one so abruptly that Shishi nearly fell backward in the cheap chair made of itchy material (Which he felt really shouldn't be grazing his perfect bottom with its tackiness and itchiness, but decided the human would go pyro if there was one spoon out of place) that sat in front of the computer.

"Don't you have school right now, Chika?" asked the 'box'. Well, that was what he thought it was supposed to say anyway, the Japanese was so horrendous, Shishi barely thought it recognizable as ANY language. Except maybe the language of the Kukonkis, which were pitifully simple-minded creatures.

"No…and I'm not Chika," he said out loud as he typed it into the box he was fairly sure it was supposed to go. He hit enter, and hoped his impeccable Japanese would confuse her, whoever this 'Aggie McGonagall' was.

"Who are you then!!!?" she demanded, and Shishi knew that the stupid human was probably sitting at her computer, staring unblinkingly at the screen, rabid curiosity on her face.

"My name is Shishiwakamaru," he typed, not feeling like elaborating.

"ASL?" she responded nearly instantly, using English symbols.

"What?!" he typed in.

She took a bit to responded after that, as thought unable to comprehend that someone wouldn't know what an 'ASL' was. Finally, she answered, "Age, sex, and location."

Shishi snorted, you could always count on stupid humans to ask stupid questions, but it wasn't like he had anything else to do, "Age: In terms of appearance, in human years, you might call me a 'teenager'. Sex: I am a male…and not a virgin (He wasn't sure what type of 'sex' this person was referring to, but was NOT about to look stupid, so he answered it both ways). Location: Oh gee, I'm speaking Japanese, and using a computer at this Chika-human's home, I WONDER where I am," satisfied, he hit enter.

"!!!!!" she typed back.

"Elaborate please, moron," he typed.

"Oh! You're at Chika's house, you're a male, and not a virgin! I get it now! Are you hot?!" she asked excitedly. Shishi could practically see her drooling all over her computer itching for details.

Shishi was tempted to end the conversation right there out of insult that she had implied he was giving that human the pleasure of…ugh! Disgusting! But he couldn't turn down the part about him being hot…he was very pretty after all… "Yes. I am much 'hotter', as you insist on saying, than you could possibly comprehend, but I have no interest in your moody human friend. I could have anyone I want, and I prefer fellow demons over grossly inferior, ugly, humans."

"Where do you get off being such a jerk?! You probably just used Chika and you don't really like and-" this was just far, far too much for Shishi, he brought his fist down onto the computer and broke it in half.

He jerked his hand back, 'Shit! The human's going to murder me! Oh well, she really needs to stop talking to people that can barely make coherent Japanese sentences and ask about your 'ASL' and accuse you of doing someone of the opposite sex just because you're stuck in their god damned house and…' he ranted for hours in his head, completely justifying (Well, justifying it in his eyes anyway. Which weren't *gasp* biased, or anything like that) everything that had happened since he'd logged onto the computer.

Suddenly, Chika stomped through the door looking like a regular banshee, she saw Shishi leaning back in the computer chair with an angry contemplative look on his face. Her own face contorted in fury, "WAKAMARU, YOU ARE DEAD YOU PRETTY BOY BASTARD!" rang throughout the neighborhood.

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Jah, I'm sorry, this chapter isn't as humorous as the last ones, but I'm going to try to make the next one funnier, but unfortunately, with the evils of school, I may not be able to update for a bit *sighs dramatically*

See ya as soon as possible!

~TRF