Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction ❯ Smile ❯ Smile ( One-Shot )

Disclaimer: I own nothing Yuu Yuu Hakusho related except for about seven tapes of English dubs, four DVDs, and one wall scroll. I own nothing Coldplay related except for one CD.

Summary:

Focus: Hiei

POV: Hiei

Pairings: None

Baseline Plot: Hiei reflecting on Yukina, and her search for her brother.

Note: Last passage is a line from the play "Antigone," rewritten in poem format.

Where do we go nobody knows?

I've gotta say I'm on my way down

God give me style and give me grace

God put a smile upon my face

* * * * *

I could never understand most of my life, for as long as I exist in all of three worlds, and that's always been alright. But gods, now, I just... I don't know anymore. It is still alright... isn't it?

Stoic, calm, icy-cold me. My teammates have come to expect it, to know that my bitter front is my turn on the world, my paying back the world for everything it has been so wicked as to curse on me. But emotionless me has weaknesses, and has a heart - hard as it may be to believe - but no being can truly live without a heart, and I am no exception.

But my heart has betrayed me, plunging me into the blackness of the endless abyss, turning its back on me as I reach out for comfort... I'm falling now, and there is no turning back.

Trite, I know, and it sounds so foolish when I say it aloud, but I don't know what else to say...

Yukina...

Sister...

...you've broken my heart...

* * * * *

Where do we go to draw the line?

I've gotta say I wasted all your time,

Where do I go to fall from grace?

God put a smile upon your face, yeah

* * * * *

I can feel it now, even long after the fact, I can feel my broken heart. But you, you who caused this breaking, however unintentional it may have been, your smile can make it all better. If only for a moment, if only for a glance, you, my sister, can make it all better. I'm sorry I have wasted so much of your time, promising to search for your brother, and yet, knowing all this time, the one thing you never will.

The one thing you may never know.

I promise you this, that I will protect you - protect myself - and you shall never know.

My sister, he is me...

* * * * *

Now, when you work it out I'm worse than you

Yeah, when you work it out I wanted to

Now, when you work out where to draw the line

Your guess is as good as mine

* * * * *

I'm still deluding myself, telling myself that I don't have a heart at all, that one without a heart cannot feel it breaking. And yet, with those simple words, you, my sister, have managed to break the heart I do not have. Sister, what more can I say? I do not hurt you - as a matter of principle, I cannot, will not cause you pain. But you have caused pain to me. I wouldn't have thought it possible, and yet... I am hurting... in my heart that doesn't exist...

And it's all because of you...

* * * * *

Where do we go nobody knows?

Don't even say you're on your way down, (when)

God gave you style and gave you grace

And put a smile upon your face, ah yeah

* * * * *

Nobody knows this torment inside of me, and no one ever may. Stoic, emotionless me may never reveal such weakness, and I will never be allowed to siphon off my pain onto the others. I will bear this burden on my own, and never will I allow you to feel this pain. Sister mine... you will never. I have felt this pain, borne this burden for the both of us, so that you may never know it.

How am I to suffer this silence? I do not know, I cannot say. I have always done so, and never known any other way. I knew, beginning this search, that a heavy price to pay would be my silence, and yet, I bear this burden for the both of us alone. Because I have vowed to protect you always, and that I will.

And this breaking of my heart that does not exist, this action you have done, causing all this pain, this pain I will never reveal...

Sometimes, your smile makes it bearable.

* * * * *

Now, when you work it out I'm worse than you

Yeah, when you work it out I wanted to

Now, when you work out where to draw the line

Your guess is as good as mine

Its as good as mine

* * * * *

How long can I bear this pain? At what price, and for what purpose? What have you done to cause this burning deep inside my soul, to break the heart that does not exist? My sister, what pains have you caused me after so long, that only your smile may mend, and even then, for only moments, and only sometimes?...

My sister, you have given up...

You have stopped searching...

I am standing right before you...

And you will never find me...

* * * * *

Where do we go nobody knows?

Don't even say you're on your way down, (when)

God gave you style and gave you grace

And put a smile upon your face

* * * * *

For you see,

there is no glory

in killing those

who are

already

Dead.