Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction ❯ Strings ❯ Tears from Glass Eyes ( Chapter 4 )

Disclaimer: YOU! Have you looked at the credits on the show YYH? Have you read the manga? Then you know that I-Ametank do NOT own the show. However… < .< >. > I have borrowed them for a short time…just for YOU

Me: Just real quick warning. Now there is going to be a pretty intense angtsy scene in here…where YOU cause yourself some harm…DON'T RUN AWAY! But I figured I would give my warning for it anyhow…there's a reason this fic is R after all

-And the italics section is a dream-not that you're not clever enough to figure it out on you own *blows kisses*

Tears from Glass Eyes

The sheets beckon. You have never felt so completely drained in your entire life. You spent all evening fielding questions about where you were from and what your life was like. When it came time to talk about the sacrifice you couldn't do it, and skirted the issue recklessly. Kurama stayed with you after the others left long enough for you to wander about the room again, and now you were ready to collapse into those-oh-so-inviting sheets.

Your body feels so heavy you almost don't pull the covers back to crawl under, but at last you collapse into the Eden of soft sheets and pillows, asleep almost the moment your head hits its mark…

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

You are walking towards your temple, and your breath still halts at the sight. You remember with painful clarity those tall impressive pillars, the isle of sweeping arches, the great onyx doors with their depiction of Kitev, a black spot on all that flawlessly gleaming white marble. You watch it sparkle, stark against the bleeding sunset that pulses against the sky like a wound, her heartbeat thrusting more and more color into the air, and slowly…coming…to a…halt. Looking at it now reminds you of bone, protruding slick and stark white against ravaged flesh. Your powers of imagination make you shiver.

You find yourself inside, walking down the torch-lit hallways, feeling acutely the chill of the tile beneath your feet seeping up painfully into your toes, reaching in to you. Your feet carry you a path your mind remembers well, and yet you cannot remember making this journey on such a night as this. They carry you apart from will and memory and you follow…to the High Priest's chambers. You hover by the doorway, peeking inside, unnoticed to the rooms two occupants.

"The temples offerings have increased ten fold since the sacrifice, you grace!" gushed a younger priest. He was grinning broadly, face fresh with new corruption, greed, and power lust. He leaned closer and whispered conspiratorially, "Who would have thought your greatest mistake could have been turned into your greatest triumph?!"

The High Priest scowls from his place at his desk, turning to face this encroacher on his solitude. You notice his hair is disheveled, and plastered to his head in places with sweat. Hie eyes are red and a little too wide with dark circles blossoming in stark contrast to his skin which is pale, and tinged slightly yellow. He looks like a man waiting for death…

"Don't be so naïve," he snarls. "I should not have raped the girl's mother. Then none of this-" his voice hitches abruptly and a moment later a sob burst forth in its place. He buries his head in his hands as the sounds continue, bubbling up from his chest in thick moans and wails. You almost want to grin at his sorrow, but somehow the edges of your lips won't turn up, and one word bounces around your brain…rape.

"Your grace…"

"In one moment of reckless lust I set in motion these events that torment me even now." When he looked up his face was half-crazed. "My daughter's face haunts me. Every night I watch the life fade from her eyes! I'm damned!" his wails escalate, and the young priest glances over his shoulder fearful of someone hearing. "I'm damned for my cleverness," he continued, paying no heed to the high pitch and trembling of his voice. "For covering my indiscretions! Get out!" The young priest did not have to be told twice, and he scurries away.

You move further into the doorway and the High Priest sees you…no…not High Priest to you anymore…father. The word burns down your throat, and you stomach clenches tight as you see him recognize you. Fear spills into his eyes, liquid and almost tangible, filling him up as his body shakes violently. But still he stands and inches closer, a hand outstretched as if to touch you. The though makes your skin crawl, but already you feel the dream crashing around you, and you whisper

Never forget. Im trow phet kah (so mote it be)

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

You awaken, surrounded by a tangle of sheets, sweat making your skin feel swollen and dirty, and making your clothes uncomfortably damp. Your mind is filled with dark realizations. My death was for the people, to give them faith your mind wails not money to the temple! You push yourself up to stare blanking about the darkened room. My father, not just my priest, sent me to my death. My father! And again the word scalds, making the muscles of your throat clench tightly, and your eyes begin to tingle with the oncoming flow of tears. You choke on the sounds rising in your throat, until just the tiniest whimper works its way free.

After that the torrent of screams that rip painfully from your throat flow constantly, against your will, unending. Your only meager consolation has now been ripped away, leaving you exposed to your horror and despair. Such a flimsy barrier, you think, how could it have lasted so long? How you knew your dream was truth evades you, but down into the very marrow of your bones you simply know.

Child of rape, raised and abused without a name of your own, and dead at the hands of the man who should have loved you most to save himself the shame. You are helpless against it, and so you give yourself over to grief.

The true face of sorrow isn't clean or pretty like in the movies, two neat little rows of tears, mouth open in a perfect round sob. Sorrow is messy, and sobs are violent, drawn out from eyes, cheeks, nose, and lips, all at once, ravaging your whole body into exhaustion. You lay on your bed, heaving painful sobs into your sheets and pillows, distantly feeling the pain as your fingers dig into your arms, raking along their length again and again, splitting flesh and spilling blood. Your head feels as if with each scream it draws closer and closer to bursting, and a part of you begs for such a release. You want to cry yourself to death…

Knocking. It sounds so far away. Your body is numbing, dulling to your own crying, dulling to your clenching muscles, the aching of your head, the fierce stinging of your arms. The pounding at your door is coming faster now. No! your mind screams. I just want to be alone…to fade…just to be alone! You look down at your sheets, see them as if through a pane of glass…they are so red…so much red. You're head is starting to feel light.

Glass shatters into your room, and you turn just in time to see a shadow moving incredibly fast towards you. Then he appears, almost literally, right in front of you, and through a mask of tears you watch him, clad in black with eyes of molten crimson. No! He's trying to restrain you, keeping your nails from digging more rivulets in your flesh, pulling you back into the moment, into the betrayal.

"No damnit!" you scream, thrashing about, fighting him away from you. "I should not be here!" you wail, throwing the full force of your strength at him, until he is forced to actually sit on you, putting all of his weight on your hips, strong hands pinning your arms to your sides. You scowl at him, but relax into his iron grip. He glares down his nose at you, but there is something else in his eyes…curiosity? You shove the thought away, focusing on the anger…this you know…this is what you feel most at home with…his violence is what you understand.

The door swings inward easily, and everyone rushes into the room. You don't remember locking them out. Kurama is the last one through, his eyes carefully guarded, but taking everything in. Questions fly at you in a blur of sound, and you squeeze your eyes shut tight. SLowly they quiet, and you feel a tiny hand on your cheek. Opening your eyes you look up at Genkai.

She is staring at your arms and your gaze follows hers, and all you can see if red, smeared everywhere- your clothes, your sheets, and the strange man's hands are slick with it. "How did you keep us from your room?" Genkai asks softly. You blink up at her, feeling a chill rise the hairs on the back of your neck.

***

Me: Oh Oh OH! There's Hiei! Hehehe THERE HE IS! *POINTS* See you Hiei fangirls…I didn't forget you! Now the question is…when the fates decide who you end up with…who is gonna hurt me if its Hiei? Who will hurt me for Kurama? Not that it will influence me…but I'm curious… ^______^

Hiei: Hn…Make it Kurama…he likes this kind of stuff

Kurama: o.O

Me: Aw but Hiei you have such loyal fangirls! And and they are obsessed with you!

Hiei: *twitch* I know….

Me: awwww he twitched! *pats his head and runs to hide behind Kurama*

Kurama: O.o *sigh*

Me: Okay sorry this chapter was so long but this time I REALLY NEED FEEDBACK. Was it alright? Did you pay attention? Are you still reading even? Well you should be *crosses arms over chest and looks petulant* Anywho if you've read this far and you don't like reviewing JUST THIS ONCE review for me…tell me what you think of his chapter…and and…keep reading cuz I LOVE YOU *glomps my readers*