Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction ❯ The Gayest Fanfic Ever ❯ Chapter 1

Author's Note: Hello world! It's me, and I would simply like to say one thing; I HATE GAY FANFICS!!!!!! I mean what is up with you people and gays! Hiei and Kurama, Kurama and Yusuke, Kuwabara and Hiei?! I mean jeeze, whose next? Puu and The Rock? Now don't get me wrong. Just because I don't like gay fanfics doesn't mean I hate gays. In fact, I have a friend, Greg, who is gay, and he is, like, the funniest guy in the world. Anywho, I wrote this fanfic because I just wanted to poke some fun at all the gay fanfics out there, and just because I poke fun at you doesn't mean that you are a bad writer, unless you are. Then it does.

Disclaimer: I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho or any of its characters. Damn it! I also do not own the song `Do you believe in life after love', Maybelline or any of its products, and Vaseline.

The Gayest Fanfic Ever

Hiei sat at the make-up mirror, putting on mascara as Kurama, Yusuke, and Kuwabara sat and watched Sex and the City on TV.

"I love Sarah Jessica Parker!" Kuwabara said, wiping away a tear.

"Like duh, who wouldn't?" Hiei exclaimed, while taking off his bandana and applying mascara to his Jagan eye.

"Shut up, what?!!!" All eyes were on Yusuke. "Vouge Magazine just published and article that says tight leather pants are so in this year." A high pitched squeal tore through the room. They looked over to see Kuwabara jumping up and down, clapping his hands. "I can finally wear these out of the house!" He bellowed with glee.

"No, you can't." said Kurama, "First of all, those are spandex, and they're beige, and beige was so last year."

"Yeah, I guess you're right." Kuwabara said, sulking over to the make-up mirror. He took the blush out of the vanity drawer and stared brushing it on his cheeks.

"I told you not to use my blush. I don't have enough for those huge cheeks." Hiei said, sitting on the couch. Kurama turned to him, saying,

"Don't get your thong in a bunch! Oh my God, you eyelashes are so full! Are you using the Sky High Lashes from Maybelline?"

"As a matter fact" Hiei bragged, "It's Lash Finity!"

"Uh, it's so obvious, how could I have NOT known!" Kurama said with a flick of the wrist.

"You guys, I'm getting bored." Yusuke said, flipping back his hair and adjusting his rainbow colored tank-top. "What should we do tonight?"

"We should dress in drag!" Kuwabara suggested.

"You want to do that every night. In fact, you do do it every night! Something else," Hiei snapped. "Oh, I've got it, let's watch West Side Story! Those clean cut gangsters turn me on."

"We did that Tuesday! Something new," Yusuke whined.

"OK, how about we go down to the Bucking Bronco and pick up sailors!" Kurama said, purring to himself.

"No, that was Wednesday. Something different, something exciting," Hiei said.

"I know, let's go have an orgy!" Kuwabara exclaimed.

"Nooo," Everyone shouted in unison.

"What if we all have one big, happy orgy," Kurama suggested, with another flick of the wrist.

"Great idea," Yusuke said.

"Yeah, why couldn't you have thought of something like that," Hiei said to Kuwabara, checking his lipstick in a compact.

"But..." Kuwabara started.

"No buts...well actually there will be a lot of butts, but not in grammar" Kurama chortled.

"Well, what are we waiting for?" Hiei asked, leaping up from where he sat.

"Let's go!" Kuwabara yelled. Kurama, Hiei, and Yusuke all exchanged nervous glances.

"Actually, we need Vaseline. It's out in the garage; we'll send Hiei with you." Kurama said. Yusuke leaded over and whispered into Kurama's ear, "Are all the other doors locked?" Kurama nodded as he watched Hiei and Kuwabara walked into the garage. Using his lightning fast speed, Hiei darted back into the house, slammed the door, locking it behind him.

"There, now where did I put my Cher single, you know, the one "Do you believe in life after love?'" Kurama wondered aloud.

"Yeah, it's next to the actual Vaseline on the night stand." Hiei and Kurama stepped into the bedroom, and said to Yusuke, "Upupup, now you got to take that hair gel out! You know that's the only way you're hot. (A.N. It's true!) He stepped into the bedroom and closed the door. Kuwabara stood out in the garage, pounding on the door.

"Oh my gosh you guys, the door got locked somehow, and I can' the Vaseline!"

But there was no response. All he could hear was Cher blasting through the house.

"Screw them." He said, "I'm going over Kayko's house to barrow some clothes."