Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction ❯ The Lord of the Rings: The Fellows ❯ Chapter 2 (Finally) ( Chapter 2 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

~*three weeks later*~

Yusuke: *laying back in a chair at the studio, asleep*

Kurama: *leaning against a wall*

Kuwabara: *sitting backwards on a chair*

Shizuru: *smoking, checking her watch*

Sakyo: *lying on a couch*

Yoko: *drumming his fingers on the table impatiently*

Jin: *sleeping, snoring*

Touya: *staring at the clock, arms folded*

Kuronue: *arms crossed, tapping foot*

~*5 min. later*~

Kuronue: WHERE THE HELL ARE THEY?!

~*silence*~

Kuronue: -.-#

~*three hours later*~

Kuronue: *staring at the door, tapping foot still*

Everyone else: *asleep* Zzzz….

Kuronue: ;-; WHERE ARE THEEEY??

Satsu: *bursts through the doors* *yawns* *eyes everyone sleeping* O.o

Kuronue: FINALLY!

Satsu: …

Kuronue: …WHERE'S KIT??

Satsu: …

Kit : *waltzes in* Hey every-…MY COFFEE! *grabs her coffee cup from the table*

^^ *sips*

Kuronue: @_@

Satsu: WHY ARE YOU PEOPLE JUST LYING AROUND?! >< GET UP AND GET TO WORK!!!

Kuronue: *anime fall*

~*ten minutes later*~

Kit: ACTION!! ^^

~~~~~~~~~~

Sakyo: *greeting random people*

Yusuke: …

Satsu: …

Yusuke: …What are my lines again?

Satsu: *anime fall* CUT!!

~~~~~~~~~~

Yusuke: *looks over lines* Who the heck is Rosie?

Kit: Er…*looks over cast* O.O …er…YUKINA!

Satsu: She's in the movie?

Kit: *shrug* We don't have a choice.

Satsu: Oi, Kuwabara! Go find Yukina.

Kuwabara: *heart heart heart* OKAY!!

Kit: -.-

~*10 min later*~

Yukina: *walks in* Do you need me?

Kit: Yes. Can you just stand over there *points to bar* and look pretty? You don't have to say anything.

Yukina: Okay. *goes over to bar and starts serving drinks*

Satsu: ACTION!!

~~~~~~~~~~

Yusuke: C'mon, Kuwabara, ask Yukina for a little…you know!

Kuwabara: URAMESHI!

Satsu: -.-`

Kit: CUT. *sips coffee*

Satsu: It's BAGGINS. Yusuke BAGGINS.

Yusuke: YEAH! GET IT STRAIGHT!

Satsu: AND YOU!

Yusuke: ?? WHAT THE HELL DID I DO?!

Kit: “A little…you know!” ?!? HOW COULD YOU SAY THAT ABOUT SUCH AN INNOCENT GIRL! POOR YUKINA!

Yukina: Huh?

Kit:…SEE?!

Yusuke: Alright fine.

Satsu: ACTION!

~*…*~

Satsu:…KURONUE…why are we still filming…?

Kuronue: …^^;;

Kit: -.- ACTION!

Yusuke: Go on Kuwabara, ask the gal for a smooch.

Kuwabara: A…smooch…*bluuuush* …nah. I think I'll have another drink…

Yusuke: No you don't! *kicks*

Kuwabara: O.O *stumbles up to Yukina* Hey Yukina.

Yusuke: *laughs* ^^

Touya: *shooting fireworks*

Sakyo: *telling story* -and once, I was watching a tournament and a fighter with red hair that fought with plants, silly I know, got drunk the hour before the match and tripped over his own weapon!

Kurama: -.-# *glaaare* *brandishes whip*

Sakyo: …End of story, goodbye. *goes to find other guests*

Touya: *sets off small fireworks for children*

Chuu: *with Jin sneaking fireworks* Quick now, bludger!

Jin: Which one? Which one?

Chuu: The really big one!

Jin: Big one? *picks up one* Got it!

Chuu: Nah, the other big one!

Jin: *sees the dragon one* Ah! That one! *climbs out*

Chuu: Right. *goes into tent followed by Jin*

Jin: *lights*

Chuu: You're supposed to stick it in the ground!

Jin: It is in the ground!

Chuu: Outside!

Jin: This was your idea!

~*firework goes off*~

Jin: *yells* AAAAAH! *clutches at face* AAAAAAH!

Chuu: *yells and grabs at his face* OWWW!!

Kit: Um…that's a bit much, don't ya think?

Jin & Chuu: *still screaming, collapse on the ground*

Kit: Uh…

Satsu: …Guys?

Jin: ME EYES!! OH, OW! AAAAH!

Chuu: AAAAAAOOOOOOAAAAH!

Kit: O_O OMFZ!!

Satsu: O_O *rounds on Kuronue* WHAT DID YOU DO?

Kuronue: *examining firework remnants frantically* I don't know, it was supposed to be fake!

Kit & some other girls: *gathering around them like OMFZ*

Jin & Chuu: *silence*

~*universal …*~

Jin: XDD!

Chuu: I can't believe ya bludgers fell for that! *cracks up*

Jin: Oh, the looks on your faces! Priceless I tell ya!

Satsu: *TWIIIIIIIIITCH* *fire crackles around* YOOOU!!

Jin & Chuu: O.O Uh oh…

~*10 min. later*~

Kit: *sips coffee* We good?

Satsu: Good ^^

Jin & Chuu: *beat up, claw marks, etc.* Xx

Kit: Er…Sats, they need to be on set.

Satsu: *shrug* Nothing a little makeup can't fix.

Jin & Chuu: O.O NOOOOOOO!!!

~*20 min. later*~

Jin & Chuu: T.T *look good as new*

Kit: *sip* ACTION!! …hang on…we didn't film that did we??

Kuronue: Er…NO!! Of course not! *crosses fingers behind back*

Kit: Oh good. ACTION!

Fake firework dragon: *turns to attack Hobbits*

Yusuke: *yells at Sakyo* OUT O' THE WAY DUMBASS!! *hides under table*

Sakyo: Eh? *is tackled by Kuwabara…b/c we felt like it*

Chuu: Yea, that was great…lez ge' another one!

Touya: *puts a hand on each of their heads and lightly freezes them* Chuu Brandybuck and Jin Took. I should have known. *shoves them at the dirty dishes*

Jin: …*looks at Satsu* Do we actually have to?

Satsu: What do you think?

Jin & Chuu: *sigh* *grumble* *do dishes*

Random Fake Hobbits: Speeeecha, speeeecha, speeeeeecha.

Kit: O.o *to Kuronue* Speecha?

Kuronue: I was giving them an accent…

Kit & Satsu: THEY'RE NOT ITALIAN!!

Kuronue: Fine…

Random Fake Hobbits: SPEECH! SPEECH!

Sakyo: Well, I do have one prepared…*goes to stand*

Satsu & Kit: O.o

Sakyo: My dear Bagginses and Boffins, Tooks and Brandbucks, Grubbs, Chubs, Hornblowers, Brace…brace…brace…*squints* Oh! Sorry. Bracegirldes, and Proudfoots.

Kit & Satsu: *anime fall* He wrote down his lines...

Proudfoot: ProudFEETS!!

Kit: No, Kuronue. Feet.

Kuronue: But feets sounds better.

Kit: *editor mode* IT'S FEET FOR GODSAKE, FEET!!

Kuronue: English is so confusing. *changes*

Kit: Good boy.

Kuronue: *puppy eyes* Treat? *pants*

Kit: …o.O;

Satsu: NO. DOWN.

Proudfoot: ProudFEET!

Sakyo: Today is my nine hundred and eleventieth birthday!

~*…*~

Kit: Um…it's one hundred and eleventieth. *points at script*

Sakyo: …But those banners say “remember nine eleven”.

Satsu: O.o; Eh?

~*bunch of American humans run up w/ 9-11 banners*~

Leader: REMEMBER 9-11! YAY FOR AMERICA!

#1: WORLD PEACE!

#2: KILL THE JAPS!

Cast: O.o

Kit: Uh…we're filming a movie.

#1: WE DEMAND THAT YOU COME WITH US.

Kit: Eh?

Leader: WE DEMAND THAT YOU STOP PRODUCTION OF THIS MOVIE!

Satsu: Who the heck are you?!

#2: WE DEMAND THAT WE ARE AMERICANS!

#1: No. We don't demand that.

#2: …WE DEMAND THAT WE MAY OR MAY NOT BE AMERICANS!

#1: …No, we are Americans.

#2: WE ARE AMERICANS, AND THAT IS NOT A DEMAND, IT IS A FACT!

Leader: Now, we don't want to hurt you…

Kit: Oh that's good.

Satsu: Fine by us.

#2: WE DEMAND THAT WE-

~*10 min. later*~

Americans: *are now playing some random hobbits*

Kit: *scribbles quick copyright not for using Douglas Adams's “demand” joke* ACTION!

Kuronue: Uh, right.

Sakyo: …Today is my one hundred and eleventieth birthday.

9-11 Hobbits: Happy birthday…-.-

Satsu: -.-# BE MORE ENTHUSIASTIC!!

9-11 Hobbits: *fake smiles* *through gritted teeth* `Appy Irthday.

Satsu: *takes big scissors* *SNAP*

9-11 Hobbits: *flinch*

Satsu: Say it. *SNAP* With. *SNAP* FEELING!!

9-11 Hobbits: ;.; HAPPY BIRTHDAY ^^

Kit: *writes another copyright for Zeva's mental torturing technique from NCIS* (Satsu: I always wanted to try that ^^)

Sakyo: Eleventy-one years is far… too short a time to live among such excellent and admirable Hobbits. I don't know half of you half as well as I should like and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve.

9-11 Hobbits: OH SAY CAN YOU SEEEEE-

Satsu: *glaaaaare*

9-11 Hobbits: *look confused*

Sakyo: Well…I have many things to do. *takes ring out of pocket* I regret to announce this is the end. I'm going now - I bid you all a very fond farewell…Goodbye…

~*10 min. later*~

Sakyo: …Goodbye…*cough* GOOD-BYE…

Satsu: Kuronue, what are you doing?!

Kuronue: *in a corner* Go away. I'm busy. ><

Satsu: *snatches something out of his hands* O_O

Kit: ?? What is it?

Satsu: …Nothing. o_o;

Kuronue: Give it back! I'll be rich if the buy it! PlayDemon never does new magazine layout contests!

Cast: O_O

9-11 Hobbits: *snatch the picture Kuronue was giving to the magazine* *hold it up to camera*

Leader: See how sexy these Jap demons are? That girl *points to Kit* in the shower for a cheap magazine.

#1: *nod, nod*

#2: WE DEMAND THAT JAPANESE DEMONS ARE SEXY!

Kit: *passes out*

Kuronue: GIMME DAT! *tries to take picture*

Picture: *is glued to camera*

Satsu: *beating up Hobbits and Kuronue* HOW DARE YOU CALL MY FRIEND SEXY!!

#1: Oh, sorry. You're sexy, too! ^^ Better?

Satsu: *anime fall* NOOO!! I REFUSE TO BE CALLED SEXY BY ANYONE OTHER THAN INU!! *beats the crap out of #1* (Satsu: By the way, Inu is my pet name for my lover Inu-Yasha. MINE!! Continue)

Kit: *recovers* I need happy pills…

Kuronue: *fiddling with camera* *takes picture* SUCCESS!!

Yoko: MINE!! *grabs*

Kuronue: HEY! KIT'S MINE!

Yoko: IT'S SHINEY!

Kuronue: O.o

Yoko: See? *light reflects on picture*

Kuronue: *anime fall*

Kurama: ROSE WHIP!! *slices picture*

Yoko & Kuronue: O.O …NOOOOOOO!! T.T

Satsu & Kit: O.o Oookay…

~*10 min. later*~

Kurama: x.x

Yoko: HA. *stomps off triumphantly* *stomps on rose whip* O.O GAH!

Kuronue: *fixing the camera while walking* Hey Yoko- *runs into Yoko* O.O GAH! *falls*

Satsu: *catches camera* Okay, you guys. Our goal is to get to Yusuke and Kuwabara leaving by the end of the day. Let's go, places!

Kuronue: Yeah…coming…*stands up* *grins at Kit & Satsu* Whatever you say sexy.

~*10 min. later*~

Kit & Satsu: *look around at scattered unconscious people*

~*…*~

Kit: *sips coffee* *turns on camera*

Sakyo: Goodbye.

Kit: …uh…*messes with camera* Sats, help me…
Satsu: Ok…uh…*starts pressing buttons*

Sakyo on camera: *blows up*

Kit: Uh…no…*press*

Sakyo on camera: *turns green*

Satsu: Nope…*press*

Sakyo on camera: *starts singing “I'm Too Sexy”*

Kit: O_O Apparently not. *press*

~*Umbrella pops out of camera*~

Satsu: Uh, no, don't need that…*press*

~*Rubber ducky appears on camera*~

Kit: O.o; Uh, no…*press*

~*”If You're Happy and You Know It” plays*~

Satsu: O.O; NO! *press*

Sakyo on camera: *disappears*

Sakyo: *asleep*

Satsu: Why does Kuronue even have those buttons?

Kit: No idea. CUT!!

~~~~~~~~~~

Satsu: We'll re-shoot that scene later.

Kit: We need Sakyo's house now.

Satsu: We do?

Kit: Yep. *hands script*

Satsu: …Oh. Right. Let's go, then.

~*20 min. later after sunset*~

Satsu: M'kay. Touya, in the house.

Touya: *opens door*

~*Bright lights & disco lights flood outside the door along with a lot of shiny glitter. Loud music and shouting is heard, etc.*~

Touya: O_O *slams door shut*

Crickets: *chirp*

Satsu: >> SPYKE!!

Spyke: Sorry. *disappears to wherever Spykes go*

Kit: Alright. Here I go, into the danger. Wish me luck.

~*silence*~

Kit: Isn't someone gonna say, “No, you're worth too much, let me go instead!”?

Everyone: *shakes head*

Kit: Oh. …Then I invoke the right of BUDDY SYSTEM!!

Satsu: …crap. Well, here goes. *steps up to door with Kit* *deep breath*

Kit: *opens door* *slips inside with Satsu & closes door behind them*

Kit & Satsu: *had their eyes closed* *finally open them* O_O

Satsu: HOLY SHIT!

Kit: BOTAN?!?!?!?!

Botan: *looks up* HELLO!! *turns* IT'S OKAY! IT'S JUST THE DIRECTORS!

Keiko, Shizuru, Yukina, Yusuke, Kuwabara, & Koenma: *appear from behind various couches and chairs*

Kit: Isn't the title “director” supposed to be a threat? Or even a title of authority??

Satsu: Guess it lost its touch. *shrug* Now, *turns to party crowd* WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON??

Yusuke: We were tired of waiting.

Botan: And I don't come for about 20 scenes, so I thought we should have a party. ^^

Kit: And what reasoning made you invite the main two characters?

Botan: ^^;; Meow =^^=

Satsu & Kit: *anime fall*

Satsu: I knew her brainpower could only go so far…

Kit: We need this for the next scene so clear out!!

Everyone: Aww…

Yusuke: *starts grabbing the wine and ale*

Satsu: LEAVE THE ALCOHOLIC BEVERAGES!!

Yusuke: Just one-

Kit & Satsu: NO!!

Yusuke: *slumps out*

Kit: Everyone, get out.

Everyone: *sighs, leaves*

Satsu & Kit: *go outside*

Satsu: Hey, you guys.

Kit: Problem solved.

~*…*~

Everyone: *bursts out laughing*

Kit: ??

Satsu: *blinky*

Kit: What?! *runs inside* *finds a mirror*

Satsu: *follows*

Kit: O_O We're COVERED IN GLITTER!

Satsu: *having a mental breakdown* I LOOK LIKE A HAPPY PREP!! T.T *attempts (and fails) to dust some glitter off*

Kit: *turns light on* We - oooooo…*.*

Satsu: It's shiiiiney…*.*

Touya: *outside spying on Kit and Satsu* Should we…?

Sakyo: No, just leave them.

~*One hour later*~

Kit: *finally out of trance* It's late.

Satsu: Yeah, it's already 10:30.

Kit: You guys ready to hit the proverbial sack?

Party group, which had been partying outside: Yeah v_v

Kit: Everyone inside, find a place to sleep.

~*2 rooms available*~

Satsu: Okay, who's actually going to sleep?

Touya & Sakyo: *raise hand*

Kit: Okay, go into the other room.

Touya & Sakyo: *leave*

Crickets: *chirp*

Satsu & Kit: SPYKE!!

Yusuke: No, it was a real cricket. *squashes*

Satsu & Kit: Oh…

~*10 min. later*~

Kuronue: This sucks.

Kit: Do you have an idea?

Yoko: GO FISH!

Everyone: NO!

Yoko: Aww…

Satsu: Some “Great Thief”…

Yoko: Hmph…

Botan: *on couch* *falls off* OW!! YUSUKE!!

Yusuke: WHAT?

Botan: YOU PUSHED ME!! *grabs pillow* *chucks*

Satsu & Kit: O.O

Yusuke: *is hit* @.@ YOU-!! *throws pillow*

Kuwabara: *is hit* URAMESHI!! *takes 5 pillows* *throws* *has horrible aim*

Yusuke, Koenma, Keiko, Kuronue, & Kurama: *are hit* *grab random pillows* *throw*

Satsu & Kit: Crap…

Kit: WHERE'S YOU MATURITY?? *is hit by random pillow* @.@ THAT'S IT!! *dives in to get a pillow*

Satsu: -.- Great example Kit…but, hey. If you can't beat `em, join `em! *grabs 3 pillows*

~*2 hours later*~

~*Various feathers and pillows everywhere. Everyone has random bumps and bruises and sitting around in a semicircle*~

Yoko: Now what?

Satsu: *hits Yoko with pillow*

Botan: I KNOW!!

Satsu: *raises eyebrow* ??

Botan: LET'S PLAY TRUTH OR DARE!

Kit: YEAH!!

Satsu: X_X

Kuronue: SEVEN MINUTES IN HEAVEN!

Satsu: X_x

Yoko: SPIN THE BOTTLE!

Satsu: x_X

Yusuke: HIDE AND SEEK!

Satsu: x_x - Wait, Hide and Seek?

Yusuke: Yep. ^.~

Satsu: …x_x

Kit: Soooooo, let's take a vote!! ^^

Satsu: Okay…T or D, 7 minutes, Spin, and H & S. Who wants Truth or Dare?

Botan, Kit, Kurama, Shizuru, Kuwabara, Keiko & Yukina: *raise hand*

Satsu: And Hide & Seek?

Kuwabara & Yusuke: *raise hand*

Satsu: KUWABARA, YOU VOTED TWICE!!

Kuwabara: ^^;;

Satsu: Anyways, Truth or Dare it is…

Kuronue: What about 7 minutes in heaven??

Yoko: Or Spin the Bottle??

Satsu: I ruled those two out.

Kuronue & Yoko: WHY??

Satsu: This is a “sleep over”, not a PlayDemon episode.

Kuronue: But it could be ^^

~*2 min. later, everyone is in a circle and Kuronue in a corner*~

Kuronue: *is beat up* @.@

Kit: Okay, we roll to see who goes first.

Satsu: -.- Roll?

Kit: Yeah! *pulls out dice*

~*Everyone rolls*~

Koenma: Well, looks like I'm first.

Kuwabara: No, I rolled a twelve.

Koenma: Shut up. *pouts*

Kuwabara: Okay, Koenma, truth or dare?

Koenma: *anime fall* Dare.

Kuwabara: …Okay, uh…I dare you to get rid of that stupid pacifier!

Koenma: Okay…*puts pacifier in his pocket* Happy?

Kuwabara: Uh…sure.

Yusuke: WHAT KINDA LAME DARE IS THAT? KOENMA, GET SOMETHIN' JUICY!!

Koenma: Oookay. Satsu, truth or dare?

Satsu: Uh…truth.

Koenma: Okay, let's see. If your lover didn't exist and you had to date someone in the cast, who would it be?

Satsu: WHAT KIND OF QUESTION IS THAT?

Koenma: Just answer the question…truthfully.

Satsu: Well, that's why it's called “truth” isn't it? Hmm…dunno…

Kit: C'mon! Answer!

Satsu: Kinda hard when you have a lover!! Uh…*closes eyes* *points finger* *spins around* @.@ *opens eyes* YOU!! *is pointing at Yoko* O.o

Yoko: YES! ^^

Kuronue: You cheater, you moved around!

Satsu: Oookay…awkward…Kit. Truth or dare?

Kit: Dare.

Satsu: Umm….damn…I had a truth ready…er…dare…dare…play spin the bottle with Yoko, Kuronue, and Kurama.

Kurama: Why am I involved???

Satsu: *shrug*

Kit: O_o Do I spin?

Satsu: Err…if you want. Or does someone else?

Yoko: OH! OH! ME!! *takes beer bottle* *SPINS*

Everyone: O.O AH!! *duck*

Yoko: *shatters bottle* …I got another one ^^

Kuronue: Gimme that. *spins*

Kit: *snatches it up* Hey, the dare was for me to spin, and no one wants to see any of you guys kissin' each other.

Satsu: You actually want to do this, don't you?

Kit: Nooo…>< *spins*

Satsu: Suuure…^^

Kurama: *sitting in circle with Kuronue & Yoko* Do I really have to do this??

Satsu: Oh shut up. There's a 66% chance you won't be picked anyways.

Bottle: *stops*

Everyone: O.O

Kurama: -.-

Satsu: ^^ Sorry…

Kit: Er.

Kurama: …

Kit: So-

Kurama: *gone*

Satsu: Go on! *nudges Kit* Follow him.

Kit: Kay…*wanders around* Kuraamaaa…

Satsu: -.-

Kurama:*behind a corner* I can't believe this…

Kit: *takes tape between hands* Kuraamaaa…

Kurama: *sighs* *appears from corner*

Kit: *goes to him* This'll be quick.

Everyone: *watching* *gasp*

Kit: *kisses Kurama* ^^

Kurama: O.O

Kit: *takes hands away*:P

Kurama: -.- *has tape across mouth*

Satsu: …Does that count?

Everyone: *shrug*

Kit: Am I done now?

Satsu: I dunno. JURY DECISION! *turns to Yoko & Kuronue* You two are experts.

Yoko: THAT'S SO CHEAP! THAT DOESN'T COUNT!

Satsu: Well, I don't want to try again, so it's fine.

Kit: ^^

Kuronue: *sigh*

Kit: Okay…uh…

~*Knock on the door*~

Satsu: I'll get that. *goes to open* O.O

Kit: Whozit?

Satsu: Inu?!?!?

Kit: WHAT??

Everyone else: O.o WHO?

Satsu: What are you doing here?

Inu: *glare*

Satsu: O.O Er okay…hi…how are you?

Inu: Where have you been?

Satsu: I told you I had to direct a movie.

Inu: *looks around* Who are they?

Kuronue: *stands up* *takes off hat and bows* I'm Kuronue, master thief.

Yoko: Ahem.

Kuronue:…That's Yoko. He…helps. >>

Yoko: -.-;

Kit: *rushes over* *holds out hand* I'm Kit, the best friend.

Inu: *raises eyebrow* ??

Kit: That means you impress me to get my approval, which puts you on a better scale with her.

Inu: I DON'T HAVE TO GET ANYONE'S APPROVAL, YOU LITTLE -

Satsu: -.-#

Inu: --;; *grumble grumble*

Kit : *recovering from near-death experience* Well, come on in, then! You can…uh…help us…direct…or something…

Kuronue: CAN WE KEEP PLAYING?

Satsu: Do you mind, Inu?

Inu: Play what?

Satsu: That's a yes.

Inu: WAIT!!

~*everybody in a circle*~

Satsu: *explaining T or D to Inu*

Kit: Okay, my turn. Kurama, truth or dare?

Kurama: Truth.

Kit: Coward…umm…Do you have a secret crush, and if so, who?

Everyone: O.O *turn towards Kurama*

Kurama: I have no “crush” as you call it. *looks away*

Satsu: Ah! You lost eye contact! You're lying!!

Kurama: …

Kit: TELL THE TRUTH!!

Kurama: *mutter, mutter*

Kuronue: Be a man! Speak up!

Yoko: But he's a demon.

Kuronue: It's a figure of speech.

Kit & Satsu: No it's not.

Kuronue: SHUT UP!

Kurama: I said no one.

Yoko: You liar.

Botan: Do you know?

Yoko: Oh yeah *shifty eyes*

Girls: -.-

Satsu: Isn't there like a penalty for not doing a truth or dare?

Yusuke: We can make up one.

Kurama: BUT I TOLD THE TRUTH!!

Everyone: No you didn't.

Kit: Punishment…punishment…I KNOW!

Everyone: WHAT?

Kit: *whispers to Satsu*

Satsu: *evil grin*

~*10 minutes later*~

Kurama: *duct taped to the wall* Really -

Kit: This is what liars get. Satsu, would you do the honors?

Satsu: *smirk* *pulls out scissors*

Kuronue: Can I keep it?

Kit: You'll share it.

Satsu: *grabs 5 strands of Kurama's hair* *clicks scissors threateningly*

Kurama: O_O NO!

Satsu: Tell.

Kurama: I…I was telling the truth, I swear!

Yoko: No he wasn't.

Satsu: *positions scissors above hair* Last chance.

Kurama: I…I…*twitch* No, I can't!!

Satsu: *snip*

Everyone: O_O *gasp*

Kurama: *watches as hairs hit floor* FINE!! IT'S KOTO!!

Everyone: O.o Koto??

Satsu: Like the awesome tournament announcer Koto?

Kit: The girl who lists black & blue as her favorite colors??

Yoko: Like the fox Koto? She was pretty hot…

Inu: WHO THE HELL IS KOTO??

Yoko: *reaches into Kurama's pocket* *pulls out picture* *gives to IY*

Inu: *blinks* *looks at it* Meh. She's okay.

Kurama: *matches his hair color* Can I get down now?

Satsu: *slices tape with claw*

Kurama: *falls down*

Kit: BREAK!

~*10 minutes later - blankets are in a messy nestful-like way on the floor & everyone has snacks and drinks*~

Kit: Kurama's turn.

Inu: *sits next to Satsu* Just watch. I'm gonna kick ass at this game.

Kurama: Alright then, you. Truth or dare? *snatches picture back from Inu*

Inu: DARE!

Kurama: I dare you…*smirk* to wear Botan's Spirit World Uniform for the rest of the game.

Inu: What is it?

Botan: *holds up her pink kimono* THIS ^^

Inu: O.O WHAT?? I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE SOMETHING PHYSICAL!!

Satsu: *trying not to laugh* Not always. Sorry.

Inu: NO. WAY.

Satsu: You agreed to play. Go change.

Inu: YOU MEAN I HAVE TO TAKE MY OWN CLOTHES OFF?

Kit: Uh, yeah. *points to bathroom*

Inu: *fume*

~*5 minutes later*~

Inu: *figuring out how to sit in a dress* -.-# Satsu, help…

Satsu: You're asking me? Anyways, it's your turn.

Inu: *sits in a chair* Okay…I dare myself to take off this thing. *goes and changes back into regular clothes* *comes back to room and sits beside Satsu* Does this mean I go again?

Everyone: O.o

Kit: Hang on…is that right?

Satsu: Err…

Inu: YOU! *points to Kuronue* WITH THE WINGS!!

Kuronue: O.O Yes…?

Inu: Truth or dare?

Kuronue: Err…truth.

Inu: Right.

Kuronue: …

Inu: …

Kuronue: O.o …

Inu: …

Kuronue: WHAT IS IT?

Inu: SHUT UP, I'M THINKIN'!

Yoko: *snerk* Hey. I got one. *whisper, whisper*

Kuronue: *straining to hear*

Inu: What kind of a question is that?

Yoko: Just do it!

Inu: Okay. You.

Kuronue: *bored* Yeah?

Inu: How many girls have you made out with?

Kuronue & Satsu: O.O

Kit : *twiiiiiiiitch*

Yoko: ^^

Kuronue: Hehehe…one.

Satsu: It's called “truth” for a reason.

Yoko: YOU LIAR! Remember that girl we accidentally took the necklace from and then you found out she was a babe, and the time you got drunk and went into a girls slumber party, and the time…

~*20 minutes later*~

Yoko: …and the time -

Kuronue: THAT'S ENOUGH!!

Kit: *glaaaaaare*

~*2 minutes later*~

Kuronue: *tied up and gagged in a corner* T.T

Satsu: Isn't it his turn?

Kit: …*takes cloth out of his mouth* Pick *twitch* now.

Kuronue: Look, Kit…I -

Kit: Shut up. After all that flirting, and you never even kissed me -

Satsu: Huh? *thinks* Liar…

Yusuke: I THOUGHT YOU GUYS WERE GOIN' OUT!

Kit: Nope.

Kuronue: v.v *sigh* Alright. Yoko.

Yoko: DARE.

Kuronue: I…dare you to…uh…do…*looks around* WHAT ANYONE TELLS YOU THE REST OF THE NIGHT.

Yoko: O.O

Everyone: *evil grin*

Satsu: Get me a soda, Yoko.

Keiko: I would like another drink.

Yusuke: Some booze.

Kit: A bat. *glares at Kuronue*

Yoko: T.T *goes to fetch items*

~*20 minutes later*~

Yoko: *has give everything out* Okay…Yusuke, t or d?

Yusuke: Dare.

Yoko: Okay…*evil smirk* I dare you -

Yusuke: Stop.

Yoko: -to-*stops* ??

Yusuke: Dare me to play video games.

Yoko: WHAT?! THAT'S BORING! ><

Kuronue: But you have to.

Yusuke: Yeah. You gotta do whatever I say.

Yoko: I dare you to…

Yusuke: *smirks* *swigs root beer* …This isn't booze…

Yoko: …to…

Yusuke: Hurry up.

Yoko: Play THIS! *shoves a N64 Barbie “Taking Care of Baby” game at him*

Yusuke: O_O WHAT?

Kuronue: *looks at the game curiously* Why do you have that Yoko?

Kit: Good question.

Satsu: *is setting up game* Red wire, yellow wire, red wire, yellow wire…I DON'T KNOW!!

Kit: Sats, it's color coated.

Satsu: I'M A DOG FOR GOODNESS SAKE!!

Kurama: *plugs it in*

Yusuke: Well…I've never backed down from a challenge and I'm not going to start now!

Everyone: *gathers around to watch*

~*10 minutes later*~

Satsu: YOU KILLED IT!

Yusuke: DAMMIT!

Everyone else: *asleep*

Satsu, Kit, & Yusuke: …*shrug* *fall asleep*

~*the next day*~

Kit: *blink* Whoa…*looks around*

Everyone: *still asleep*

Kit: *looks at sunlight streaming through window* … *falls asleep*

~*later*~

Kurama: *having a dream about going on a walk through a field of flowers with Koto* ^^ *scoops up this gorgeous rose and turns to give it to her*

Dream Koto: *evil pupil-less blue eyes* Wake up, Kurama…WAKE UP…

Kurama: O_O *springs awake* *runs into Touya*

Touya: x.x Ow.

Kurama: Oh, sorry. *recovering*

Touya: Get up, and get the rest of them up, please. It's already one and we're trying to get ready to film.

Kurama: *nods* *wakes up everyone except directors* *pokes Kit*

Kit: *mumble, mumble*

Kurama: Kit…Kit, wake up.

Kit: *groans* *rolls over*

Kurama: *twitch* *shakes* Kit…Kit! *grabs coffee cup* I have coffee.

Kit: *wide awake* GIMME! *sips* ^^ *goes to Satsu* … *turns to Inu* You wake her up.

Inu: Okay. *goes to Satsu* Hey, Sats. Kagome's here.

Satsu: *wide awake* *takes Inu's Tetsusaiga* I'LL KILL HER! I'LL SEND THAT BITCH TO -

Kit: Didn't you already kill her?

Satsu: …Oh yeah. *gives Inu back Tetsusaiga* Morning.

Touya: *very annoyed* Can we please start filming?

~*10 minutes later of cleaning up*~

Kit: Finally, everything's clean - *cell phone vibrates* Hold on. *answers* Moshi moshi? …OMG!!! *hangs up* SATS!!

Satsu: What? *messing with camera*

Kit: PRESS THE BUTTON!

Satsu: What?

Kit: THE BUTTON!!

Satsu: …What button?

Kit: …Oh yeah, I didn't tell you. *presses big red and black button on camera*

~*Disco lights, confetti, streamers, balloons, etc. appear along with a banner saying “CAROLINA HURRINCANES: STANLEY CUP CHAMPS!!*~

Satsu: *blink, blink* WE WON THE CUP??

Kit: WE WON THE CUP!!

Satsu & Kit: *start dancing around*

Crew: -.-

Yusuke: Ah, what the heck. *turns on “We are the Champions”*

Touya: <~is mad

Kurama: Can we start filming?

Satsu: Do you realize how big of an accomplishment this is?

Kit: We have never won the cup! Give us some time to celebrate.

Kurama: *sigh* Only a while…

~*3 hours later*~

Satsu: …and when Cam made that amazing save!

Kit & Satsu: Cam…*heart heart*

Kuronue: *at camera* We're ready!

Kit & Satsu: …*get coffee* Fine…

~*In set*~

Kit: Okay, we left off at Sakyo saying goodbye…that's it? That's all we've done?

Satsu: Okay guys, double time!

Kuronue: Okay, places! Aaand…ACTION!

~~~~~~~~~~

Sakyo: *appears in Bad End, smirking*

Touya: Well, I suppose you think that was amusing.

Sakyo: Oh come Touya, learn to have a little fun in life.

Touya: There are several magic rings, Sakyo, and they should never be used lightly.

Sakyo: I suppose you're right. You'll keep an eye on Yusuke?

Touya: Two.

Sakyo: I'll be leaving everything to him.

Touya: Including that ring?

Sakyo: Of course, it's in that envelope on the mantle piece…No wait, it's *hand goes in pocket* …still here in my pocket. *takes out ring* Isn't this strange…after all…why shouldn't I keep it?

Touya: Leave the ring Sakyo. That's not so hard.

Sakyo: True…but it is. I don't have to leave it. *starts to yell* It's mine, I found it, it came to me!

Touya: You shouldn't get angry…

Sakyo: Well, it's you fault I'm angry! It belongs to me…mine…*eyes get wider* my precious…

Touya: Precious? It has been called that before…but not by you.

Sakyo: What business is it of yours what I do with my own things?

Touya: Sakyo, you've had that ring long enough.

Sakyo: You just want it to yourself!

Touya: Sakyo Baggins!

Kit: *whispers to Kuronue* Make it dark, make it dark!

Kuronue: Right, right…*presses buttons* *rainbows appear*

Satsu: DARK YOU IDIOT, DARK!!

Kuronue: I'M TRYING!! *pressing random buttons*

Satsu: Oh, forget it! *to Touya* Just change the weather.

Touya: *nods* *climate control*

Everyone: O.O Brr…

Touya: Do not take me for some conjurer of cheap tricks! I am NOT trying to rob you *room returns to normal* …I'm trying to help you.

Touya & Sakyo: *pause*

Satsu: *to Kit* What's going on?

Kit: *reading script* They're supposed to hug…

Satsu & Kit: *exchange looks*

Kuronue: We could do a substitute.

Satsu: Oh, great! That'll work!

Kit: Is that okay?

Touya & Sakyo: *nod*

Satsu: Shizuru, get over here!

Shizuru: *puts out cigarette* Sure. *hugs Sakyo*

Kuronue: *presses what's supposed to be the “substitute button”*

~*…*~

Kuronue: …Uh oh.

Satsu: What?

Kuronue: It's not working. Kit took it apart to put her hockey button in. We can't do substitutes now. Ever.

Shizuru: So can I go?

Satsu: -.-; Go ahead.

Shizuru: *takes off to party*

Kit: *chugging coffee*

Kurama: …You still have that?

Kit: Hush. Touya, Sakyo, you're just gonna have to hug each other.

Touya: *twitch*

Sakyo: *hugs Touya*

Kit: Perfect! Keep going.

Touya: *twitch* All your long years, we're been friends. Trust me. Let it go.

Sakyo: You're right. The ring must go to Yusuke. It's late, the road is long…Yes, it's time…

Touya: Sakyo…

Sakyo: Yes?

Touya: The ring is still in your pocket.

Sakyo: …Yes. *pulls it out, stares at it* *finally drops it on the floor* *heads outside* I've thought of an ending for me book…”And he lived happily ever after, to the end of his days…”

Touya: And I'm sure you will, my friend.

Sakyo: Good-bye Touya.

Touya: Good-bye Sakyo.

Sakyo: *leaving house* *singing* The road goes ever on and on down from the door where it began…

Touya: …Until we meet again. *goes inside house* *tries to pick up ring* *sees Yomi's…Yomi's…*

Satsu: Hang on. Yomi's blind.

Kit: So?

Satsu: Well, it's not called “The All Seeing Eye” for nothing, you know.

Yoko: Right…Yomi, what senses do you have left?

Yomi: *growls at Yoko*

Yoko: ^^;;

Yomi: I have good hearing.

Satsu: Oh that's threatening: “The All Hearing Ears”.

Kit: That's all we got. ACTION!!

Kuronue: Oh…

Satsu: Don't tell me, you didn't stop.

Kit: Whatever. Editing is wonderful.

Kuronue: Right…editing…*resumes filming*

Touya: *sees The Ears of Yomi* *sits down by fireplace* *hears Sakyo's voice*

Voice: It belongs to me…mine…by precious…

Touya: *mutters to self* Riddles in the dark…

Yusuke: *runs in* `ey, SAKYO? WHAT - heey. *picks up ring*

Touya: *still muttering* My precious…

Yusuke: *goes to Touya* He took off didn't he. I never thought he really would…

Touya: *turns, sees the ring* Hmm…Sakyo's ring. He's gone to stay with the elves. He's left you Bag End, along with all of his possessions. *holds out envelope*

Yusuke: *drops ring in* Okaaay…

Touya: The ring is yours now. Put it somewhere out of sight. *stands up*

Yusuke: Where ya goin'?

Touya: There are some things I must see to.

Yusuke: Uh, what things?

Touya: Questions. Questions that need answering.

Yusuke: You just got here. I don't understand.

Touya: Neither do I. *turns* Keep it secret. Keep it safe. *leaves*

Yusuke: *looks at envelope* … *grins*

Kit: CUT!!

~~~~~~~~~~

Satsu: WE MADE IT TO A SCENE CHANGE!!

Everyone: Yaaaay.

~*Scene changes. Mount doom, then towers of fortress of Barad-Dur, including fiery moats and lights of orcs on the roads.*~

Shishi: *being tortured* Ow…OW! HEY, STOP IT!!

Kit: SHISHIWAKAMARU!!

Shishi: O.O Full name…*raspy voice* SHIRE! BAGGINS!!

~*Mount Doom erupts*~

Satsu: CRAP!

Kit: We don't have the Black Riders, do we?

Satsu: Nope.

Yusuke: How come we don't have half our cast?

Satsu: SHUT UP! Okay…

~*10 minutes later*~

Cast: *posting job descriptions in random places all over town*

Kit: *chugging coffee* Now what?

Satsu: We wait.

~*2 hours later*~

Kit: Okay. Everyone know what to do?

The Halfbreeds (consisting of Taryn, Gwen, Sahara, Leila, and Adalia): *nod*

Kuronue: Who're they?

Satsu: They're our Nazgul! And good friends.

Kuronue: But…

Kit: But what?

Kuronue: THEY'RE ALL GIRLS!!

Satsu: …What's your point?

Kuronue: …*shrugs*

Kit: ACTION!

Kuronue: …

Kit: x_x Why do we bother?

~*Halfbreeds leave Minas Morgul, choir chants*~

Touya: *rides to White City* *in Minas Tirith* *finds Amanuma's account* *reads* The year 3434 of the second age…Here follows the account of Amanuma, High King of Gondor, and the finding of the Ring of Power. It has come to me, the One Ring. It shall be the heirloom of my Kingdom. All those who follow in my bloodline shall be bound to its fate, for I will risk no hurt of the Ring…It is precious to me…though I buy it with great pain. The marking upon the band begin to fade. The writing, which at first was as clear as red flame, has all but disappeared - a secret now that only fire can tell.

~*Evening at Farmer Maggot's house. He's chopping wood. His dog begins barking as a Halfbreed appears. The dog whines and backs into the house.*~

Gwen: Shire…Baggins…

Satsu: Kuronue, can you make that sound raspy?

Kuronue: There's only so much you can do with a camera…okay…*plays around*

Playback: *raspy voice* Shire…Baggins…

Kit: Great. ^^

Playback: *raspy* 7 days…

Kit & Satsu: O.O

Yoko: *in corner with mike* *repeats* 7 days…

Kit: *shrieks* *hides*

Yoko: *evil chuckle* 7 daaaaays…

Satsu: A-hem.

Inu: *thunks Yoko on the head*

Yoko: x_x

Satsu: Okay. You're hired.

Inu: *smirks* *pins “Security Guard” badge to his shirt*

Kit: *recovering* ACTIO-oh, forget it. Keep going.

[ We interrupt this fanfic to celebrate: we got past the first folder!! Yaaay! ]

Satsu: Okay. We need a farmer.

~*silence*~

Satsu: ENKI! Go be the farmer.

Enki: *is being farmer* There's no Bagginses here, they're all up on Hobbition. That way. *points*

Gwen: *rides off*

Satsu: CUT!!

~~~~~~~~~~

Kit: Okay, back to Hobbition.

~*Hobbition. The Green Dragon*~

Jin & Chuu: *dancing on top of table (with ale), singing* Hey ho to the darling I know. To heal my heart and drown my woe. Rain may fall and wind may blow, but there still be many miles to go. Sweet is the sound of the pouring rain and the stream that falls from hill to plain. Better than rain or rippling brook-

Jin: IS A MUG OF BEER INSIDE THIS TOOK!

Hobbits: HEY!! ^^ *laughter*

Yusuke: *dancing around, giving random people drinks*

Doctor: *is now playing some random old Hobbit* There's been some strange people crossing into the Shire. Dwarves and others of a less than savory nature. War's upon us…

Gatekeeper: *is also playing a random Hobbit* Far-off tales and children's stories is what you are speaking of. You're beginning to sound like Sakyo Baggins. That man was cracked…

Doctor: *turns, sees Yusuke* Young Mr. Yusuke here, he's cracking.

Yusuke: *is drunk* *slips and falls on ground* *holds up mug* Proud of it! *pulls up chair and gives them drinks* Cheers Doctor.

Doctor: Cheers.

Gatekeeper: *smoking* It's not our concern what events take place outside these borders. *nods at Yusuke* Stay out of trouble, and no trouble will come to you.

Yusuke: Aye. *drinks* *passes out* @.@

Gatekeeper: …Then again, he might be an exception.

Kit: CUT!!

Satsu: Someone wake him up. NEXT SCENE!

~~~~~~~~~~

Yukina: *to Yusuke and Kuwabara* Goodnight. ^^

Kuwabara: *BLUSH*

Yusuke: ^^

Yusuke & Kuwabara: *walk to Bag End gate*

Yusuke: Later. *enters house* … *grins*

Touya: *hand reaches out or the dark to grab Yusuke's shoulder* *misses* What the?

Yusuke: *not there*

Touya: Yusuke?

Yusuke: *appears* Ring goes off. Ring goes on *disappears* Ring goes off. *appears* Oh, hey! ^^

Touya: YUSUKE!! *takes ring, chucks it in fire*

Yusuke: Hey, HEY! I was using that.

Touya: You don't “play” with things like this, fool. *gets tongs* *pulls out ring* Hold out your hand. Don't worry, it's cool.

Yusuke: *holds out hand* *Touya drops ring in hand* AHH!

Touya: YUSUKE!

Yusuke: Just kidding ^^ *tosses ring*

Touya: *vein pulses* Do you see ANYTHING on the ring?

Yusuke: No.

Touya: Ugh *hand-head*

Yusuke: Wait…there are markings. They're weird scribbles, I can't read it.

Touya: Can you read normally?

Yusuke: HEY!

Touya: Anyway, there are few who can…the language is that of Mordor, which I will not utter here.

Yusuke: Aw, c'mon.

Touya: No Yusuke.

Yusuke: Do it.

Touya: No.

Yusuke: You know you want to.

Touya: *whispers* You idiot! I don't know Mordorian!

Yusuke: Oh. Wait…Mordorian?

Touya: In the common tongue it says: One Ring to rule them all, One Rind to find them, One Ring to bring them all and in the darkness, bind them.

Kit: CUT!

~~~~~~~~~

Satsu: Nice improv.

Touya: Thank you. v.v

Yusuke: ^^

Kit: M'kay, keep going.

Touya: This is the One Ring, forged be the dark lord Yomi in the fires of Mount Doom, taken by Amanuma from the hand of Yomi himself.

Yusuke: Oh…then Sakyo found it, in Shishi's cave…

Touya: Right. For sixty years, it lay quiet in Sakyo's keeping, prolonging his life, delaying old age, but no longer. Evil is stirring in Mordor. The ring has awoken. It's heard it's master's call.

Yusuke: But he was killed! Yomi was killed!

Touya: No, Yusuke. The spirit of Yomi endured. His life force is bound to the rind and the ring survived. Yomi has returned. His orcs have multiplied. His fortress of Barad-

Yusuke: Ooh! Ooh! I know! Barad-Dur!

Touya: No you don't now be quiet. Anyways, his fortress of Barad-Dur has been completely rebuilt in the land of Mordor. Yomi needs only this ring to cover all the lands in a second darkness…he is seeking it, seeking it; all his thought is bent on it. The ring yearns, above all else, to return to the hand of its master. They are one, the ring and the Dark Lord. Yusuke, he must never find it.

Yusuke: Right…then we'll hide it. We'll do a cross-my-heart-hope-to-die thing and never talk about it. Besides, no one knows it's here…right, Touya?

Touya: …There is one other that know that Sakyo had the ring…I looked everywhere for the creature Shishi, but the enemy found him first…I don't know how long they tortured him, but amidst the endless screams and inane babble they discerned two words:

~*flashback*~

Shishi: SHIRE! BAGGINS!

~*back at Bags End*~

Yusuke: …

Touya: …

Yusuke: I don't get it.

Touya: You dolt, that means they will be coming here!

Yusuke: No problem, I'll just use my Spirit Gun and-

Touya: YOU CAN'T! You are a defenseless little Hobbit with nothing to protect yourself against creatures from your nightmares!

Yusuke: O.O Point taken. SHIT!!

~*flash over…somewhere*~

Enki: Who goes there?

Sahara: *”kills” him*

~*back*~

Yusuke: Take it. *holds out ring*

Touya: No.

Yusuke: Take it, dammit! You gotta take it!

Touya: You cannot offer me this ring.

Yusuke: I'm friggin' giving it to you!

Touya: No, don't tempt me, Yusuke! I don't dare take it…not even to keep it safe. Understand that I would use this ring in attempt to do good, but through me it would wield a power to great and terrible imagine.

Yusuke: Well, it damned well can't stay in the Shire!

Touya: No, No, it can't.

Yusuke: What d'ya want me to do?!

Touya: Leave, and leave quickly.

Yusuke: *packing* Where do I go?

Touya: Get out of the Shire. Head for the village of Bree.

Yusuke: Bree, got it. How about you?

Touya: I'll be waiting there, at the inn of the Prancing Pony.

Yusuke: Will the ring be safe there?

Touya: I don't know. I don't have any answers, Yusuke. I must see the head of my order. He is both wise and powerful. Trust me, Yusuke; he will know what to do. Travel only by day…and stay off the road.

Yusuke: Off the road. *writing it on his hand* Got it. I can cut across country easy enough.

Touya: Yusuke. Hobbits are really amazing creatures.

Yusuke: I know. *smirk*

Touya: You can learn all there is to know about their ways in a month, and yet, after a hundred years, they can still - Yusuke? *blink*

Yusuke: *from behind him* BOO!

Touya: O.O! x_x

Yusuke: ^^

Touya: …still surprise you.

Outside window: *rustle, rustle*

Touya: *holds staff threateningly* Get down.

Yusuke: *blink*

Touya: Grrr. *kicks Yusuke below kneecaps*

Yusuke: O.O *falls down* ;.;

Touya: *goes slowly over to window* *hits rustling source with staff*

Kuwabara: OW!

Touya: *pulls Kuwabara into room and slams on table* Confound it all, Kazuma Gamgee! Have you been eavesdropping??

Kit & Satsu: Kazuma? Weird…

Kuwabara: Hey, I ain't been droppin' no eaves. I was just cuttin' the grass under the window…

Touya: A little late for trimming the verge, don't you think?

Kuwabara: Well…I did hear loud voices…

Touya: *grabs Kuwabara* What did you hear? Speak!

Kuwabara: Hey now! Nothin' important. Well…*thinks*

Hell: *freezes over*

Kuwabara: Hmph. Anyways, there was some stuff about a ring and a Dark Lord and somethin' about the end of the world, but nothin' important. Just don't hurt me or turn me into somethin'…unnatural…

Touya: *smirks* No? Perhaps not…I've thought of a better use for you.

Kuwabara: *gulps*

Kit: Annnd CUT! That was PERFECT!

Kuronue: *eating* Excuse me?

Satsu: *glaaaaare* YOU WEREN'T FILMING??

Kuronue: Uh, no. I thought they were rehearsing…

Kit: Since when have we rehearsed? We just pray we get it right the first time.

Satsu: *still glaring* Now…we have…to start…all…OVER!!! GET YOUR ASS TO THE CAMERA, AND FILM!!

~*1 hour later*~

Kit: *sips coffee*

Satsu: Okay, we're caught up.

Kit: No thanks to YOU.

Kuronue: HEY, I was you two that never said “action”.

Kit: …

Satsu: …

Kit: …That didn't happen. Places for scene 9.

~*in the woods*~

Kit: And ACTION! >>

Kuronue: ^^;;

~~~~~~~~~~

Touya: Come along, Kazuma. Keep up. Now, be careful, both of you. The enemy has many spies in his service. Birds, beasts…*turns to Yusuke* Is it safe?

Yusuke: *pats his breast pocket* It's right - *freezes* Uh…

Kit: x_x!

Satsu: *looses it* *screams* I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU PEOPLE! CAN'T YOU DO ANYTHING RIGHT?!?!? *storms out*

Kit: *sigh* Yoko, go get the ring.

Yoko: Yup. *hiccup* *runs into a tree*

Kit: *twitch* FORGET IT! *storms out*

Everyone: …

Kit: *pokes head back in* THIS SCENE BETTER BE DONE WHEN WE GET BACK! *storms out*

Everyone: O_O

Kuronue: So…we gotta…

Yusuke: Film a whole scene…

Kuwabara: On our own…

Touya: Before they can get food and come back.

Yoko: *hiccup*

Everyone: …*starts screaming*

Kuwabara: IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD!

Yusuke: THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE!

Yoko: OMG WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!

Kuronue: OKAY. EVERYONE, SHUT THE HELL UP!

Everyone: *shuts the hell up*

Kuronue: *speech mode* Now, I know we're not used to doing this on our own. I know we need people, our directors, to tell us what to do. But you know what? That's pathetic. And I say if we can't come together right here, right now, and figure this out; if we don't try to succeed, if we don't clean up this mess we leave for Satsu and Kit to clean up every day…*dramatic wind* we'll fall apart. We don't have to be perfect, but we will try, and maybe, just maybe…*Remember the Titans moment* learn to do this job like men.

Everyone: …*nods*

Kuronue: …Well, let's go! Places!

Yoko: I got the ring. *holds it out*

The girls: *to the side*

Shizuru: What are we? Chopped liver?

Kuronue: Okay, we need a “director”.

Kurama: I'll do it. Okay, Scene 9 everyone. Places. Action!

Kuronue: …

Kurama: It was still filming wasn't it?

Kuronue: Yep.

Kurama: *sigh* Continue then.

Touya: Is it safe?

Yusuke: *pats breast pocket* Right here.

Touya: Never put it on. The agents of the Dark Lord will be drawn to its power. Always remember, Yusuke - the ring is trying to get back to its master. It wants to be found. *rides off to Isengard*

Yusuke & Kuwabara: *walk off for a while*

Kuwabara: Well, this is it.

Yusuke: Uh, this is what?

Kuwabara: If I got past this thingy it'll be the farthest away from home I've ever been.

Yusuke: Come ON, Kazuma. Remember what Sakyo used to say? “It's dangerous, Yusuke, going out your door. You step onto the road, and if you don't keep your feet, there's really no knowing where you might be swept off to…”

Kurama: CUT!

~~~~~~~~~~

Kurama: Sep change. Everyone, move to the Isengard set!

~*movage of people*~

Kurama: Okay, we need- …

Everyone: …

Kurama: I…uh…*bolts*

Everyone: *blink* *stares at falling script pages*

Touya: *snatches one up* Oh. Karasu? It's our scene.

Karasu: *enters slowly & dramatically* I'm ready.

Everyone: Ohh…

Kuronue: That means, I'LL have to be director. ^^

Everyone: -.-;;

Kuronue: Okay…Touya, get your pony and ride to Isengard.

Touya: *skeptical look* Pony.

Kuronue: …Oh, right. *presses button on camera* Okay. *horse appears* Ready…ACTION!

~~~~~~~~~~

Touya: -.-

Kuronue: What?

Touya: I can't get on the horse.

Kuronue: Ohh…

Shizuru: *brings out stool* *places next to horse* *leaves*

Kuronue: *blinks* Oookay. Now action.

~*various scenes of Touya riding across countryside. Karasu's voice is heard*~

Karasu: Smoke rises from Mount Doom. The hour grows late and Touya the Grey *starts walking down steps* *continues while Touya stops at the foot of the stairs* rides to Isengard, seeking my counsel. For that is why you have come, is it not, my old friend?

Touya: *mutters* Old friend…*takes off hat and bows* *regular voice* Karasu…

~*Touya and Karasu go walking around the grounds*~

Karasu: And you are sure of this?

Touya: Beyond any doubt.

Karasu: So. The Rind of Power has been found.

Touya: Yes, all these long years it was in the Shire, right under my nose…

Karasu: And yet you didn't see it. Your love if the Halflings has slowed your mind, it has lead to blindness.

Touya: We still have time enough to counter Yomi, if we move quickly -

Karasu: Time? *laughs slightly, head down* Tell me, what time do you think we have? *leads Touya into study* Yomi has regained much of his strength. He can't take a physical form but his spirit has lost none of its potency. Concealed within his fortress the Lord of Mordor…hears all, piercing cloud, shadow, earth, and flesh. You know of what I speak. The great ears, wreathed in flame.

Touya: The Ears of Yomi…

Karasu: He is gathering all evil to him. Very soon, he will have summoned an army great enough to launch an assault on Middle-Earth…

Touya: You know this? How?

Karasu: I have seen it…*him and Touya go into throne room*

Touya: *realization* A palantir is a dangerous tool, Karasu.

Karasu: Why? Why should I -

Touya: We.

Karasu: -we fear to use them?

Touya: They are not all accounted for, the lost seeing stones. We do no know who else may be…watching…

Kuronue: …hmm…

Karasu: The hour is later than you think - Yomi's forces are already moving. The five have left Minas Morgul (a/n: Yes we do realize that there are 9 Ring Wraiths, but we only have 5 Halfbreeds.).

Touya: The five?

Karasu: Yes, they crossed the River Isen on Midsummer's Eve, disguised as riders in black.

Touya: O_O They've reached the Shire!

Karasu: *smirk* They will find the ring and kill the one who carries it.

Touya: Yusuke!

Karasu: *laughs* You didn't seriously think a Hobbit could contend with the will of Yomi. There are none who can. Against the power of Mordor, there can be no victory. We must join with him, Touya. We must join with Yomi. It would be wise, my friend.

Touya: Tell me, friend. When did Karasu the wise abandon reason for madness? *ice darts*

Karasu: *darts around, blowing up ice darts* I gave you the chance of aiding me willingly, but you have elected the way of PAIN!

~*Touya and Karasu begin a vicious, but very well choreographed battle*~

Kuronue: I think we have a problem with the seeing stones.

Kurama: *has come back out of hiding* I agree, seeing as Yomi can't see…

Yomi: *taking a snack brake* Don't hold that against me.

Kurama: I guess we can change them to “Hearing Stones”…

Kuronue: Do you think Kit and Satsu will mind?

Kurama: *shrugs* *changes script*

~*back to actual filming*~

Karasu: *blows up the ground beneath Touya, sending him flying through the glass at the top of the tower*

Kurama: CUT!

~~~~~~~~~~

Touya: *wobble, wobble* Oww…

Kurama: Maybe we should've used a stunt double…

Touya: You think?

Kuronue: We don't have time for this. Kit and Satsu will be here soon and we need to finish the next scene. PLACES

~*set change: Farmer Maggot's field*~

Kuronue: ACTION!

~~~~~~~~~~

Kuwabara: *stumbles through cornfield* Uhh…*looks around* Urameshi? Urameshi? URAMESHI!!

Yusuke: *pops out of corn near him* *hits* It's BAGGINS!! And what are you so worked up about?

Kuwabara: Oh, uh nothin'. Just something Touya said…

Yusuke: What did he say?

Kuwabara: “Don't you loose him, Kazuma Gamgee.” And I don't plan on it.

Yusuke: Riiight. Don't worry about it, I mean we're still in the Shire….right?

Kuwabara: *looking at an upside down map* I think so.

Yusuke: See? What could happen?

~*Jin and Chuu burst out of the corn and run smack into Kuwabara and Yusuke*~

Jin: Yusuke! Oi, Chuu, its Yusuke Baggins!

Chuu: Yusuke!

Kuwabara: Alright, GET OFF! *stands up* What are you guys doing?!

Chuu: Hold these for a few, there's a good chap. *shoves stolen veggies at Kuwabara*

Kuwabara: You've been in that old farmer guy's garden thingy!

~*they all run off*~

Chuu: I can't understand why he's so upset over it, it's just a couple of carrots!

Jin: And some cabbages, and those three bags of potatoes we took last week, and mushrooms the week before…

Chuu: Well yes, but my point is that he's clearly overreacting!

~*all four fall off the short cliff*~

Jin: That was close.

Chuu: I think I've broken something…*pulls out broken carrot*

Kuwabara: Stupid Brandbucks and Tooks…

Chuu: Chill out, it's just a detour. A little shortcut!

Kuwabara: Yeah, a shortcut to what?

Jin: MUSHROOMS! *starts gathering mushrooms*

Yusuke: *standing in the middle of the road* *eyes narrow* I think…we should get off the road guys…*turns and runs* I SAID GET OFF THE ROAD, DAMMIT!

~*they hide under a tree root*~

Sahara: *gets off her horse* *bends down* …

Yusuke: *trying not to put the ring on*

Kuwabara: *grabs Yusuke's hand*

Chuu: *throws bag*

Sahara: AH! I HEARD SOMETHING! *jogs off, followed by her horse*

Chuu: …What the hell was that?

Yusuke: *glaring in distance* *looks at ring in hand*

~*camera follow Ring Wraith (Sahara)*~

Sahara: …Crap. TURN AROUND!! *screech*

Kuwabara, Yusuke, Chuu, Jin: *running through dark woods*

Chuu: Anything?

Yusuke: Nothin' here.

Jin: *panting* What's goin' on?

Chuu: *goes near Yusuke* That Black Rider was lookin' for somethin'. Or someone…Yusuke?

Jin: Hey…are we supposed to be hiding from people in black?

Kuwabara: Uh, yeah. Why do you think we've been running?

Chuu: Like them? *points ahead to Black Rider* …I suggest we duck then.

~*Hobbits hide behind bushes and watch the Rider*~

Sahara: *seems to be going in another direction*

Yusuke: I have to get out of the Shire. *turns towards Jin* Kuwabara and -

Kuwabara: *hits* Kazuma!

Yusuke: Ouch…*couch* Kazuma and I need to get to Bree.

Chuu: Right.

~*pause*~

Yusuke: -.- WELL DON'T YOU HAVE SOME IDEA??

Jin: Keep it down!

Chuu: Don't rush good ideas. Buckleberry Ferry. This way.

~*Hobbits run out of bushes and start heading towards the ferry*~

Sahara: *pops out from behind a tree* *screeches*

Yusuke: O.O AHH! RUN!!

Chuu: THIS WAY! FOLLOW ME!! *runs off*

Yusuke: *is cornered by Sahara* *fakes left and runs right* HA!! NYAH! :P *trips over root* @.@

Kuwabara: C'mon Yusuke! *pulls Yusuke up and they follow Jin and Chuu.*

~*Hobbits hop a fence and 3 out of the 4 clamber onto the ferry, waiting for Yusuke*~

Jin, Chuu, and Kuwabara: *slow-mo* YUSUKE!!

Yusuke: *slow-mo* *running from Sahara who is now behind him* SHIIIIIIIIIIIT!!

~*Yusuke makes a running jump onto the raft*~

Yusuke: Uh, guys?

“Guys”: Yeah?

Yusuke: UNTIE THE RAFT!

Kuwabara: O.O *unties the raft and pushes off*

Sahara: MWAHAHAHAHA!! I CAN MAKE THAT JUMP!!

Jin: No you can't! *uses wind power and blows raft several yards away* ^^

Sahara: *already making jump* O.O AW CRAP! *horse stops mid-jump and makes a cool matrix-rip-off recovery and lands on the dock* *screeches* *turns around and runs back*

Yusuke: …Soo…when's the next stop?

Chuu: Brandywine Bridge. 20 miles.

Kuwabara & Yusuke: 20 MILES?? *look back at rider*

Sahara: *meets with two other riders* I couldn't do it…T.T

Gwen: That was to be expected…

Sahara: HEY!!

Taryn: Don't worry, they won't guess our next move…*rides off*

Sahara: Isn't that just to follow them?

Gwen: Don't ruin the moment. *rides off*

Sahara: Hmph…*rides off*

Kurama: CUT!!

~~~~~~~~~~

Kuronue: WE DID IT!! WE FINISHED THE SCENE!!

Kurama: Actually, we finished three.

Kuronue: …x.x

~*door slams open*~

Kit: *talking to Satsu & drinking frap* So, then she's like, “No, I didn't say that!” and I'm like, “WHAT?!”

Satsu: Wow. I can't believe some people. *slurps on frap*

Kit: I know!

Kuronue: Ahem.

Kit: ? Oh.

Satsu: Places.

Kuronue: We don't even get a “thank you?!?!?

Kit: You're pushing it. *glare*

Kuronue: v.v Yes ma'am…

Satsu: ACTION!!

~~~~~~~~~~

Yusuke: *knocks on Bree gate*

Zeru: *playing gatekeeper* What do YOU want?

Yusuke: Uh, to got to the Leaping Horse.

Jin: Prancing Pony.

Yusuke: Prancing Pony.

Zeru: *opens gate* Hobbits. FOUR Hobbits, out of the Shire. Why are you in Bree?

Yusuke: I just told you. We want to stay and the Leaping Horse.

Chuu: Prancing Pony.

Yusuke: Prancing Pony.

Zeru: Alright, I meant no offense. It's my job to ask questions after nightfall. There's talk of strange folk abroad. Can't be too careful. *lets them in*

~*they arrive at the Prancing Pony*~

Yusuke: *at the front desk* Hey. Hey! Hey, you! Hi!

Genkai: Yeah, what can I do for you punks? If you wanna stay here, we have some nice rat tunnels you could fit in. Perfect for you, Mr. …?

Yusuke: STUFF IT GRANDMA! Name's Underhill. We're pals with Touya. Think you could let `im know we're here?

Genkai: Touya? Oh, yeah, I remember. Stupid pointy hat.

Yusuke: -.- That's it.

Genkai: No, he hasn't been here in months.

Yusuke: …Oookay…*turns around*

Kuwabara: Just great! Now what?

~*sitting at table*~

Yusuke: Hey, he'll get here. Sooner or later.

Chuu: *sits down with drink*

Jin: Hey, what's that?

Chuu: This my friend, is a pint!

Jin: It comes in pints??? I'm getting me one! *gets up*

Kuwabara: You've had a half already, you know!! …People never listen. *sigh* … *points* Hey, that guy's done nothin' but stare at you since we got here.

Yusuke: Yeah? *stops waitress* Hey.

Juri: Oh, yeah, real polite, mister. How about excuse me?

Yusuke: Yeah, yeah, uh well, that guy in the corner. Who is he?

Juri: Oh. He's a Ranger. They're really dangerous. I don't know his name. Here, we call him Strider.

Kit: …Sats, where's my coffee?

Satsu: Uh…*looks around* Gone?

Kit: *blink*

Satsu: *blink*

Kit & Satsu: *look at each other* Ooooh no…

~END OF CHAPTER~

Satsu: *just finished typing* MY HANDS ARE GONNA FALL OFF!!! I NEED ASPRIN!! Oh, also if you didn't read the notice, we HAVE finished The Fellows. We just gotta type it…I swear chapter two is the longest one, so don't worry about them all being 60 pages. Thanks, now I need water. *pops pills in mouth*