Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction ❯ The Tree ❯ Chapter 4: Fall ( Chapter 4 )

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Disclaimer: I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho, just the plot of this story.

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THE TREE: OF MORE GOODBYES

After getting over the initial shock over her obvious mental collapse, I started visiting Atsuko daily. I was apprehensive to actually approach her at first; instead I cleaned around her and left a meal on the table, leaving as quickly as possible. But as time wore on and the green leaves of our tree turned crimson red with bursts golden orange, my visits became longer and longer. I found myself taking comfort in talking to Atsuko, telling her my problems and whispering my fears, even if the only response she'd give was the occasional nod.

During one visit I found myself in your room, I guess I got so caught up in cleaning that I went back to my old habits and went to pick up your dirty clothing, which you had always seemed intent on covering your floor with… I didn't even realize what I was doing until my laundry basket was full and I was moving to make your bed. The basket had slipped from my grasp, the clothes spreading across the wooden floor once more as it landed on its side. There on your night stand was the picture I had given you for your last birthday, the one we took when we went on our first official date…even now I can still feel the weight of your arm as you slinged it around my shoulder and the heat that rose in my cheeks as you pulled me close to your side. I can still hear you sputtering out curses when Puu landed on your head, not wanting to be disincluded from the portrait… and it still makes me laugh.

But right then, I didn't feel like laughing. Rather, I once again fell to the ground, kneeling on your laundry and covered my eyes to shield my tears from invisible onlookers. I tried to hold it back, I really did, but the sobs still passed through my lips and echoed in the quiet apartment. Suddenly I felt myself being pulled against something warm, and looking up with my tear streaked face, I saw Atsuko softly smiling down at me as tears of her own started to fall. We stayed that way for what seemed like hours, sobbing, then crying silently when our throats grew dry and hoarse.

I didn't go home that night or the day after. I just let Atsuko hold me on the couch, which I have no memory of coming to, and watched the home videos that had once made me run away.

When I did leave, I didn't make any effort to hide my sorrow. I knew that from that point forward I wouldn't see Atsuko again. Maybe it was from the look she gave me when I had smiled and said `goodbye'…or maybe it was because of the way she had whispered `Goodbye, Keiko' in return.

Funny how she parted with the same words you did, Yusuke. Funny how, that even though I'm the only one in attendance at her funeral, I still can't blame her for doing what she did. After all, it was your shadow that haunted her every step and your memory that plagued her mind incessantly.

No, this time I truly blame you, and I feel no guilt in doing so. How does it feel to know that you killed your own mother?

You can't deny it, even if you won't admit it; you knew your leaving would eventually drive her to this.

You knew, Yusuke. You had to…. didn't you?