Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction ❯ The Wreck of My Memories ❯ Chapter Two ( Chapter 3 )

Disclaimer: All rights belong to Yoshihiro Togashi and Shonen Jump. No infringement intended, etc etc all that jazz. I'm poor so don't sue.

 

Rating is T for violence.

 

The Wreck of My Memories

 

Chapter Two

 

I grew. I guess I could say that I grew a ningen year's worth of growth in a month so that by the time the first month had passed I was already able to walk and speak. I crawled for all of a day before I tired of dragging my feet and struggled to stand. I fell repeatedly, landing on the hard wooden floor of the hut over and over, much to Uma's dismay, and raging at myself for my weakness until Uma took me outside to a moss covered patch of ground where I would at least be cushioned every time I lost my balance.

 

She tried to help me but I wouldn't let her. In hindsight, allowing her to hold my hands and act as a counter-balance would probably have been a good idea, but I was too angry with myself at the time to realize it. I wanted to walk. I was tired of being helpless, of being dependent. I was tired of being carried around.

 

When I finally mastered the trick of balancing my weight on the soles of my feet, however, it was into her arms that I made my first faltering steps.

 

After that our days were filled with going out into the forest where she would gather her herbs and I would toddle around, never going too far away. Soon I was walking steadily and running, and Uma discovered quickly that I was fast. By the end of the second month I was climbing and jumping, and Uma taught me how to run up a tree if I felt threatened. Not that many others bothered us. Our home was isolated and difficult to find so there were many days where it was just the two of us, but I found that I liked having her to myself. If I needed anything all I had to do was look her way or tug lightly at her skirt and she would see to me.

 

It didn't take me long to figure out that we shared a mental connection. It wasn't true telepathy, it was more like a warm presence that sat at the back of my mind and “listened.” Whenever my mood changed or if I needed something, Uma would be aware of it before I could give it a voice, and she would be moving to tend me. She rarely lost patience with me, although when pushed she would discipline me with a firm hand. I remember a few spankings that were warranted when I got too out of control. But all in all, she was kind and she loved me, and I was content.

 

 

When I was three months old, I began having nightmares. I would thrash in bed and Uma would wake me up with a scream on my lips, then I would shiver in her arms and she would rock me and soothe me until I calmed down. She would ask me what I dreamed but I wouldn't answer her, so one day she put herself in my dream and witnessed my mother's people throwing me off the floating glacier firsthand. That night we both woke up shaking and her eyes were full of horror and sadness. I was angry. I didn't want her to pity me and I snarled at her when she tried to hold me. I sat sullenly on the floor and she sat on the bed, looking at me with those eyes… those tender, loving eyes.

 

I hated her in that moment. If the talisman around my neck hadn't dampened by power, I probably would have burned her with my rage. She didn't seem at all phased by my fury, however, and kept looking at me with a thoughtful expression on her face.

 

“You are a Koorime,” she said simply. “Or at least your mother was. Obviously your father wasn't. My guess is that he was a fire demon, although how he and your mother could have gotten together to make you is a mystery. Koorimes don't tend to come off their floating island. But the place you see in your dreams looks very much like images I have seen of their glacier home, and the stone around your neck is undoubtedly a hiruseki made from one of your mother's tears. I heard her crying for you when they took you away.”

 

I growled. “They threw me off the edge,” I replied angrily.

 

“Yes, they did.”

 

“They said I was imiko…”

 

“A Forbidden Child,” she explained gently.

 

Knowing what the term meant brought me no comfort, but my rage was fading. She was doing something to me with her mind. I could feel her youki coming into me through our link and it was calming me down. I was becoming more sad than angry.

 

Forbidden Child. Worthless and unwanted. Ripped from my mother and thrown away…

 

“I'll kill them,” I whispered. “I'll kill them all.”

 

“Hmmm,” she replied to my vow of revenge.

 

There were a few moments of silence, then she spoke again, softly and wistfully. “Do you know what I would do to them?”

 

I looked at her, blinking from my place where I sat on the floor, just out of reach.

 

“I would thank them.”

 

My eyes opened wide but I did not say anything to her unexpected statement. She smiled at me and took a deep breath.

 

“I would thank them because I owe them a great deal. If they hadn't feared and hated you, then they never would have thrown you away, and Itsuro would never have brought you to me. So I would find them and thank them for giving me the chance to love you.”

 

I was shocked. Her words hit me like blows to my heart. I knew that she loved me but she had never actually said the words to me. Now that she had, there was an ache inside of me that made my chest hurt. I lowered my eyes and stared at my small, bare feet until I couldn't bear it any longer. Then I stood and went over to the only one who had ever comforted and wanted me. I half expected her to reject me, to spank me for being so insolent earlier, but she opened her arms and welcomed me into her embrace when I crawled into her lap. Her hands stroked my hair and pressed me to her chest as she rocked me and crooned under her breath.

 

“Yes. I am so grateful to them. For every drop of hatred they had for you, I have love. And for as much as you were worthless to them, you are precious to me. I love you, Hiei. I love you, my son,” she told me, kissing the top of my head.

 

My arms came around her, as much as they would reach, and I clung to her with the desperation of a child who realizes for the first time how much he is loved… and how much that love is returned. I shivered. I trembled and gripped her long shift in my tight fists as I choked out the word I had never spoken to anyone.

 

“Haha-ue. Haha-ue.”

 

Mother.

 

I love you, Mother.

 

********

 

“Haha,” I said, lifting my hand to show her the mushroom I had found.

 

“Ahhh, Hiei, you've found a nuitake,” she praised, taking the food from me and putting it in her basket. “These are very good and have numerous healing properties. If you see any more of them, grab them right up.”

 

“Hn,” I agreed and went back to foraging in the dead leaves to look for more.

 

I was five months old and the size of a five year old human child, albeit a small one. Uma had made me my first set of black clothing from the bolt of cloth she had bought for me and it was already getting too small. She said that we would get more when we went down to the market before winter.

 

The sound of approaching feet made me return to Uma's side and wait to see who was coming up the path. It turned out to be one of Itsuro's thieves, carrying the monthly kill. This one was a large buck with a hide of pure black. My eyes opened wide and I desperately hoped Uma would keep the hide to make clothes for me.

 

“Oi, herb witch!” the demon barked, dropping the carcass on the ground. “Itsuro wants to know if the brat can run yet.”

 

I scowled. Every time one of Itsuro's band came up, he wanted to know when I would be ready to go live with them. It had gotten to the point where I hated seeing them because they wanted to take me away from my home and the woman who loved me. As a result, I always stayed quiet and still whenever any of them came near, and I'd snap at them of they tried to touch me.

 

Since I was somewhat behind her from his vantage point, he hadn't seen me yet so I plopped down on the ground. Uma looked down at me and I looked up at her, and we both gave each other knowing smiles.

 

“Tell him to give it until Spring. I'll keep Hiei through the winter so he won't have to worry about taking care of a little kid,” Uma replied, stepping to the side so the demon would see me sitting quite innocently on the grass.

 

The demon looked down at me with distain and snorted. “Seems like a puny little thing. Think he'll stay small?”

 

I narrowed my gaze and glared at him, crossing my arms. Uma chuckled.

 

“I don't know.”

 

“He'd make a good pickpocket if he's little and fast.”

 

“Maybe,” she said noncommittally. “We'll see. In any case, let me keep him through the winter and he won't be Itsuro's problem.”

 

“Hn,” the demon answered, nodding. “I'll tell the boss.”

 

“You can also tell him that he doesn't need to bring more than one more kill. We have enough meat preserved to see us through the winter,” she added as he turned his back. “That way he won't have to worry about coming up the path once the snows get here.”

 

It was true. The larders were full of smoked and salted meat. This kill would only add even more to our already burgeoning stores.

 

“I'll tell him,” the thief agreed and left us to ourselves again.

 

“Haha, am I really all that small?” I asked her once he was gone.

 

Being that there were no other children around for me to compare myself to, I really had no idea how my size measured up. Uma smiled and sat down beside me.

 

“You are small, yes, but that isn't necessarily a bad thing. Small and quick can get farther and into more places than someone bigger.”

 

“Bigger is stronger,” I complained sullenly.

 

“Not always. Brute strength can often be countered by skill and intelligence.”

 

“Do you think I will be strong, Haha?” I asked.

 

She put her arm around me and tucked me against her side as I turned and hugged her.

 

“I think you're already strong, ishka. And I think you will be the strongest of all of us,” she told me, then kissed the top of my head.

 

I smiled. She always knew exactly what I needed her to say.

 

 

 

Another month passed and the weather began to turn cold. Uma did end up keeping the black hide, and she worked tirelessly to tan it and make it into a warm cloak for me. She sensed that snow would be coming soon so we headed down the mountain to the village market to get some things we needed before the trail would be impassible. While we were there, someone saw the hiruseki around my neck and tried to take it from me. I bit the thief and Uma handled the rest of him by blasting him with a bolt of her lightning. I never knew how strong she actually was, but now my guess would be that she was A-class, or at least a very high B.

 

Fight over, and enemy singed and licking his burns, we finished our shopping and headed back home.

 

“Would you like me to take your sack and carry you?” she asked me as we began the climb up the steep track through the forest.

 

I glared at her and scowled. “I can walk. I'm big enough,” I answered, gripping the carry sack I had slung over my shoulder.

 

She smiled at me and laughed. “I know you are, Hiei, but soon you will be too big for me to you carry at all, and you will not want to sleep all curled up with me. I have to take my opportunities while I still can.”

 

I gave her a sidelong glance and humphed at her. She still loved to baby me. It was annoying… most of the time. Sometimes I liked it though, especially when I was feeling lost and scared the way I sometimes did when I remembered what had happened to me.

 

“I'm fine,” I insisted.

 

She just chuckled and ruffled my hair. I growled at her but she only chuckled more and threatened to tickle me. I jumped but she grabbed me, making me drop my sack. As the contents spilled onto the ground, she laughed and tormented me by tickling my stomach until I couldn't help but laugh myself. We fell to the ground, both of us laughing until a cold wind brought us back to ourselves.

 

“Ah, Hiei. You laughter is as precious as the jewel around your neck,” she said, catching her breath. “You don't laugh nearly as much as you should.”

 

She let me go and I stood up, brushing the pine needles from my cloak.

 

“What's there to laugh about?” I demanded, but I wasn't really angry.

 

Uma always played with me when I got too serious. I think she knew I had a violent nature and tried to temper it with her love. I remember how much she tried to impress upon me how important it was to be honorable and just.

 

“You're alive,” she answered, kissing my cheek as she rose to her feet and began helping me gather up our loose things.

 

“Hmph,” I scowled, stuffing some dried fruit back into my sack.

 

“You're with me,” she added.

 

“Only until the spring,” I countered sullenly. We talked extensively about my going to stay with the band of thieves. I wasn't looking forward to leaving my home once the snows melted.

 

“If you truly don't wish to join Itsuro's band, then we will move out of his territory,” she assured me. “But I am only thinking of your future, ishka. Your nature is not one where you will be happy tending plants and gathering herbs. Itsuro can teach you skills and how to fight. And it isn't as if you can't come back whenever you want. You are always welcome home, Hiei. You are my son and I love you.”

 

“I know. But I'll go when I am ready,” I countered, my bad mood dispelled by her words of affection and comfort.

 

“Fair enough,” she agreed, and we shouldered our burdens again.

 

We hadn't gone far when Uma stopped me with a hand on my shoulder.

 

“Hiei,” she whispered hoarsely in warning and I froze.

 

I had just enough time to move behind her when the demon she had burned in the marketplace appeared, and this time he had brought several friends.

 

“We want the hiruseki,” he hissed.

 

“Don't push me, fool,” Uma threatened, sweeping up her arm and bringing out her lightning. “I spared you in the market. I won't go easy on you this time.”

 

The demon laughed as one of his partners came forward to put up a protective barrier around them.

 

“Just try to blast me this time,” he answered with a vicious leer.

 

“Haha?” I asked softly.

 

“Stay behind me, Hiei,” she told me.

 

I looked behind us and frowned. The area wasn't very defensible and from where we were the path turned sharply upward.

 

“I might not be able to blast you, but I can blast these,” she replied, shooting bolts at the surrounding trees and making them crash across the path between us and our attackers.

 

The demon and his companions screamed, and Uma dropped her sack, grabbed me and began to run. She was fast, but not fast enough. I saw the barbed whip come out and wrap around her leg, yanking it out from under her. She lost her balance, and her grip on me, and I fell.

 

I cannot even begin to describe how much I hate falling.

 

I hit the ground and rolled. When I looked up I saw Uma on the ground, struggling to get her arms under her so she could turn to face the new threat. Blood on the forest floor drew my eyes to where her left leg was now a bloody stump just below the knee. I screamed a warning as a huge grey-skinned demon advanced on my mother with a knife.

 

“Haha-ue!”

 

“Hiei, run!” she ordered, just as the attacker slashed at her throat.

 

I stared, horrified, as she collapsed and the demon began to advance on me.

 

“Come here, kid,” he growled.

 

:HIEI! RUN!: a voice screamed in my head.

 

Uma's mental command shook me out of my paralysis and I did as she told me. I turned and ran up the track. I didn't look back to see if I was being followed but I felt a huge burst of energy explode behind me a few moments later. At the top of the trail, I didn't turn up to go to our hut, but across to run towards the place where I knew Itsuro and his band usually camped. I went speeding into their encampment and threw myself on my knees at Itsuro's feet.

 

“Itsuro! Please help me!”

 

“What the? It's Hiei,” the thief gasped. “What the hell is wrong with you, boy?”

 

I looked up at him, panting. “It's Haha-ue! We were attacked on the trail. Please, she needs help!”

 

The hulk of a demon stared at me for a long time and I began to think that he was going to refuse, but he finally nodded.

 

“The herb witch has been good to us. She's always treated our wounded and helped us when we needed help. Let's go.”

 

Several of his men agreed and I jumped to my feet to lead them back down the trail.

 

“This way. Please hurry,” I said, picking up speed.

 

“Damn, that kid is fast,” I heard someone say behind me as they struggled to keep up.

 

My child's heart still had hope, but my mind already knew I was too late. There was a cold, empty place in my head where her mental touch used to be, and the best I could hope for was avenging her death.

 

Coming back to the place where we had fallen, I discovered that even that comfort would be taken from me.

 

Uma's body was lying twisted on the ground, her throat slashed, her eyes unseeing. Around her lay the charred and still smoldering bodies of all eight of her attackers. Her hands were blackened and the scorch-marks started from where she fell so it was obvious that she had been the one responsible for the blast that killed the other eight. She must have used the last of her energy to bring down a final strike that took the bastards with her.

 

I fell to my knees beside her, heedless of the fact that I was kneeling in a pool of her blood, and feebly shook her arm although I knew it was hopeless.

 

“Haha?” I whispered faintly.

 

Her head lolled my way and I was struck by the peaceful look on her face. She had died knowing that her final act would save me. I felt sick and numb, still shocked by everything that had happened in such a short amount of time.

 

“Damn,” a voice said behind me and I looked over my shoulder to see Itsuro and his band coming to see the carnage.

 

Itsuro saw me kneeling next to Uma's body and his face grew the softest I would ever see it become.

 

The others filed in behind him, moving about and stamping out the small fires caused by Uma's lightening. They didn't speak or look at me but I watched them as they began to pick up our discarded supplies and take them with them. Part of me understood their actions. It certainly wasn't of any use to us now, and it was stupid to let the supplies go to waste.

 

It wasn't until I saw one of the demons pick up Uma's severed leg and take a bite out of it that I made any sound at all. Itsuro heard me and looked to see what I had gasped about.

 

“Shit! Haru, what the hell are you doing?!”

 

The guilty demon stopped mid-bite. “What? I'm hungry.”

 

Itsuro cast me a glance then shook his fist at Haru. “Not in front of the kid,” he hissed as if I couldn't hear him.

 

Haru looked at me. “Oh. Sorry,” he half-apologized but then stuffed the leg into the waistband of his pants, behind his back.

 

Itsuro reached down and grasped my shoulder. “C'mon kid. You can stay with us now.”

 

I blinked at him, my eyes dry and then looked back down at Uma's body.

 

“But, Haha…”

 

Itsuro sighed and took off his cloak, wrapping her up in the dirty cloth. Then I watched him dig a shallow grave and put her into it, covering her up with rocks and a thin layer of dirt.

 

“C'mon, Hiei,” he repeated.

 

I hesitated and he slapped me. He hit me so hard that I toppled to the ground, stunned and my head reeling from the blow. It was the first time anyone had ever hit me like that. Even Uma's spankings had been light compared to the strength behind Itsuro's strike.

 

“Now kid. The witch is dead and you're coming with me. You can run and you're fast. I'll teach you how to fight and how to steal. Let's go before I change my mind and let you starve out here.”

 

He grabbed me by my arm and lifted me out of the dirt. I didn't resist him, but my anger began to burn inside me. Anger at losing the only person who loved me, anger at not being allowed to grieve her death, anger at the harsh and callous way Itsuro handled me. But I swallowed my rage and my pain and followed him, my eyes dry and burning as he took me back to his camp.

 

Later I saw that his men had gone to our hut and stripped it of everything they could use and my rage festered. And Haru was still chewing on my mother's leg.

 

`I'll kill you,' I vowed silently. `One day, I'll kill you all.'