Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction ❯ The YYH Bus ❯ The YYH Bus ( One-Shot )

[ P - Pre-Teen ]

The YYH Bus

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YYH gets a bus and there's gonna be a lot of `redecorating' and disorder. XP This has got to be one of my longest humor fics. o_o; Yay long fic?

[I really don't own anything but myself in this fic. ^^;]

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-One day outside a random school-

Kyoufu: -for some reason is walking past the school- I wanna jack a bus.

Kurama: -who was for some reason walking with her- Nani?

Kyoufu: I. Wanna. Jack. A. Bus.

Kurama: Yes… but why?

Kyoufu: I dunno. To see if I can?

Kurama: Go ahead. I'll laugh when you're in jail for grand theft auto.

Kyoufu: >_< And then I'll use my divine powers of persuasion.

Kurama: For what?

Kyoufu: To make them believe it was you. -walks towards the buses-

Kurama: e_e Hey, where are you going?

Kyoufu: To jack a bus you moron.

Kurama: I didn't think you were serious!

Kyoufu: -.-;

-in front of a bus-

Kurama: Kyofu! KYOFU!!

Kyoufu: Shush! -sneaks onto the bus-

Bus driver: 0_o Take the bag off your head and get off my bus you little weirdo.

Kyoufu: >_> -shoves the kid with the bag on his head off the bus- Yeah, move.

Bus driver: And who are you?

Kyoufu: Myself?

Bus driver: -.- Are you a new rider?

Kyoufu: Nooo….

Driver: Then what are you?

Kyoufu: Not very nice. -grabs the driver and chucks her off the bus- EVERYBODY OFF MY BUSSSSS!!

Minna: -stare-

Kyoufu: NOW! -hisses and makes `Kyo noises'-

Minna: 0_0 -dive off the bus-

Kyoufu: ^.^ That went rather well, if I do say so myself.

Allie: Uh huh.

Kyoufu: o_o You're on this bus?

Allie: Yep.

Kyoufu: Oook... I'm stealing it now.

Allie: Neat.

Kyoufu: -starts the bus- Oi, Kurama is in the way.

Kurama: I will not move from in front of this bus you thief!

Kyoufu: Like you can talk… hypocrite. And I don't care if you move or not.

Kurama: Nani? You can't be serious! You wouldn't run over me!

Kyoufu: Deadmansaywhat?

Kurama: 0_o Nani?

Kyoufu: Heh. -runs over Kurama-

Allie: -looks out the back window at the bloody Kurama pancake and smirks- Now where to?

Kyoufu: Somewhere that the cops won't find us?

Allie: And that would be…?

Kyoufu: My neighbors yard.

Allie: 0_o Why would they not find us there?

Kyoufu: We would blend in with all the other large, junky stuff. ^.^

Allie: 0_o O…k.

-at the neighbor people's trailer place-

Kyoufu: -smooshes the neighbors and pulls behind the trailer-

Allie: Are you gonna run over everyone you see?

Kyoufu: Yup.

Allie: Awesome.

Kyoufu: Sooooo, we need the guys over here so we can redecorate this thing.

Allie: Yep. -snaps her fingers-

Guys: -appear-

Kyoufu: 0_0 I won't ask…

Hiei: Hn, why are we here?

Kyoufu: To mess with that bus. -points-

Hiei: Hn. Why would we wanna do that?

Allie: Cause when we're done we get to chuck flaming marshmallows at people.

Hiei: Hn, really?

Allie: Yep.

Hiei: Then let's get this finished.

Kyoufu: Wow, he agrees to work on a bus. 0_o

Kuwabara: Pink with ponies!

Minna: -stare-

Kuwabara: Let's paint it pink with ponies and rainbows and flowers and bunnies and fluffy kittens full of love!!

Kyoufu: O_O -falls over and curls up- Bad words, evil words! -makes choking noises-

Yuusuke: -pokes Kyofu- Is she ok?

Kyoufu: -choke-

Kuwabara: -still rambling on-

Hiei: -starts towards Kuwabara-

Allie: -does the same-

Kuwabara: -looks around- Are you going to help me with the ponies?

Hiei: Not quite…

Allie: -picks up a rusted metal spike-

Kuwabara: What's that for?

Allie: …….

Hiei: -pulls out his katana-

Kuwabara: 0_0

Both: -tackle him and rip, tear, beat, slash, and burn him-

Kyoufu: -sits up- I'm better now.

Yuusuke: Those words made you spaz like that?

Kyoufu: Well, no. I just like to act like I'm dying. ^.^

Yuusuke: -falls over- Baka.

Kuwabara: -indistinguishable mass of bloody flesh-

Allie: ^_^

Hiei: Finally. Now, shall we get the bus thing over with?

Kyoufu: I'll draw up the plans! -pulls out a piece of paper and a pen and starts scribbling-

Yuusuke: Let me see them…

Kyoufu: No!

Yuusuke: Yes!

Kyoufu: NO!

Allie: -snatches the paper- What's this? It's not plans for the bus. -holds up the paper to show a chibi hide drawn on it-

Kyoufu: >_> -grabs the paper back and holds it protectively-

Hiei: Baka. -grabs the paper and rips it up-

Kyoufu: O_O -howls and latches onto Hiei's head and gnaws on his hair-

Hiei: 0_0 Get off!

Kyoufu: You killed my drawing!

Hiei: I'll kill you too!

Kyoufu: Never! -gets pulled off Hiei by Youko-

Youko: I think you should be worried about getting killed by me, not him.

Kyoufu: Who said I was worried!? >_<

Youko: You ran over my human form.

Kyoufu: So? Now you get to be out.

Youko: -blinks- Yeah… -drops Kyofu-

Kyoufu: >_< Itai.

Yuusuke: -points to the sky- What's that?

Minna: -look-

Hiei: An ugly bird?

Allie: A guy that's about to smash into the ground?

Kyoufu: About to land on Youko?

Minna: Huh?

Kyoufu: Well, it is.

Youko: O_O -things lands on him- X_x

Minna: It's Karasu!

Kyoufu: Bishies are falling from the sky? -looks at the sky- IF YOU'RE GIVING AWAY BISHES, GIVE ME KYO!!

Minna: -stare-

Kyoufu: >_> -cough- Soooo, how are you Karasu?

Karasu: -stands up and dusts himself off- I suppose I'm- -another person lands on him- Not so fine. X_x

Kyoufu: O_O Kyo? Bishies ARE falling from the sky… -puts him in her pocket- ^.^ Yay.

Minna: …………

Allie: Karasu? -nudges him with her foot-

Karasu: -gets up and dusts himself off again- I suppose I'm… -looks around- …Fine now.

Hiei: -taps his foot impatiently- Can we just get done with the bus?

Karasu: Bus?

Allie: We're `redecorating' that bus. -points-

Kyoufu: Wanna help? You get to fling flaming marshmallows at people when we're done.

Karasu: Sure…

Yuusuke: Then let's do it already! -runs over to the bus-

Allie: This time I'LL do the planning.

Kyoufu: -.-

Hiei: What first?

Allie: Hm… first paint it all black. Inside and out.

Hiei: Hn, pathetically simple. -looks around- Paint would help.

Yuusuke: Yeah… it would.

Kyoufu: -looks around- -grabs Youko and Yuusuke- We'll go buy some!

Yuusuke: Hey, wait a minute!

Youko: Buy?

Kyoufu: Borrow.

Youko: Steal.

Both: Yeah.

Kyoufu: To Home Depot!

Yuusuke: We need a ride…

Kyoufu: -pulls the Dodge from her pocket- And we got one.

Yuusuke: o_o I forgot you could do that…

Youko: Is it the one with the evil shiny button?

Kyoufu: Uh huh.

Youko: …..I don't wanna go.

Kyoufu: Just don't press the button you moron. -shoves them both in the truck- We shall return with paint! -speeds off-

Karasu: So, what do we do while we're waiting?

Allie: Rip out every other seat and put tables in the empty spaces. For playing cards.

Hiei: Hn, also pathetically simple. -gets on the bus and starts ripping up seats-

Karasu: -dragging them off the bus and putting them in a pile-

Allie: Now we need some window tint, black lights, and spider-web stuff that will glow under them…

Hiei: I can get them. -flits away-

Karasu: Hey! -.- Sure, make me finish removing seats and putting in tables.

-with Kyoufu, Yuusuke, and Youko-

Yuusuke: Do you even know where you're going?

Kyoufu: Of course I do…

Youko: Sure…

Kyoufu: Shut up!

Yuusuke: You don't know where we are going…

Kyoufu: I do too- You made me miss the exit. -.-

Youko: Nice excuse.

Kyoufu: -stops the truck and puts it in reverse-

Yuusuke: 0_0 What are you doing!?

Kyoufu: Backing up.

Youko: We're all gonna die.

Kyoufu: Die?

Youko: e_e Just don't kill us!

Kyoufu: No promise. Ah, there's the exit. ^_^ -puts it in drive and pulls onto the ramp-

Yuusuke: -looks at the twenty-car pile-up behind them- e_e So how much further to Home Depot?

Kyoufu: We're here. ^.^ -pulls into a parking spot- Time to get the paint!

-with Hiei-

Hiei: -at the mall- Hn, baka ningen. -flits through the rafters- -jumps down in front of whichever store happens to sell the stuff he's looking for-

Random guy: 0_0 You just fell from the rafters and landed on your feet! Cat man! You have to be some freaky cat hybrid!!

Hiei: What in the Makai?

Random guy: -runs away screaming about a cat man-

Hiei: 0_o Like I said, baka ningen. -walks into the store-

Store clerk: May I help you sir?

Hiei: Black lights. And spider-webs. Window tint too.

Clerk: -points to the back of the store- We have a wide selection back there.

Hiei: -nods and knocks the clerk unconscious- -goes to the back of the store and starts putting stuff into a duffle bag-

-With Allie and Karasu-

Karasu: Last seat. Now, where to get tables?

Allie: -looks around and points to a pile of junk- There.

Karasu: They have everything but the kitchen sink out here, don't they?

Allie: -looks around again- Actually… -points to a sink-

Karasu: o_o Christ. -walks over and starting dragging the tables to the bus-

-With Kyoufu, Yuusuke, and Youko-

Kyoufu: -throwing cans of paint into a buggy-

Yuusuke: -doing the same-

Youko: -trying to seduce the woman at the paint counter-

Woman: 0_0 -staring at his ears-

Kyoufu: -notices what Youko is doing- -walks over and grabs him by the hair- Ahem. -taps her foot- We are getting paint, not pleasures.

Youko: -tries to free his hair- Leggo!!

Kyoufu: Nope. -looks at the woman- So sorry that my deranged friend here bothered you… -drags him over to the paint shelf-

Woman: o_o But the ears!? The tail!?

Kyoufu: o_o He… lost a bet, yeah he lost a bet.

Woman: 0_o Ok… -hurries away-

Youko: -pouting-

Kyoufu: -shoves a buggy at him- Paint, now.

Youko: -.- -starts putting paint in the buggy-

-With Hiei-

Hiei: -walks out of the store with a the duffle bag-

Store cop: Hey! You gotta pay for that stuff, son.

Hiei: >_> -whacks the cop in the head with the bag-

Cop: X_x

Hiei: <.< >.> -flits away-

-With Kyoufu, Yuusuke, and Youko-

Kyoufu: This won't be nearly enough… -points to the five buggies of black paint-

Yuusuke: This is gonna be hell to get out of the store already and you want more buggies?

Kyoufu: -nodnod-

Yuusuke: -.- ….Hey, where's Youko?

Kyoufu: Uh… 0_o I hear screaming.

-people are running in all directions-

Youko: -pulls up to the isle in the Dodge-

Kyoufu: O_O Well, this solves the paint problem. -starts throwing paint into the back of the truck- Hurry, before the cops get here!

Youko: -gets out of the truck and starts putting paint in the back-

-With Allie and Karasu-

Karasu: Done with the tables.

Allie: Now we have to wait for the others. -.-

Karasu: Knowing Kyoufu, they've gotten into a car accident and are all dead. And Hiei, who knows?

Allie: e_e I doubt the being dead part. Kyofu refuses to stay dead… same goes for Yuusuke, actually. And Youko.

Karasu: True.

-With Kyoufu, Yuusuke, and Youko-

Kyoufu: I think we have enough… Let's go!

Minna: -jump in the truck and drive off-

-With Allie and Karasu-

Allie: -getting impatient-

Karasu: -blowing up random stuff-

Hiei: -jumps atop the bus- I got the lights.

Allie: Yay. About time someone got back.

-Kyoufu and the guys pull up-

Kyoufu: -jumps out of the truck- We have paint!

Allie: Start painting, then.

Kyoufu: e_e -hands Yuusuke and Youko paintbrushes-

Yuusuke: -opens a can of paint- 0_0

Kyoufu: Nani desu ka? 0_o

Yuusuke: This is…. Pink.

Minna: O_O

Kyoufu: But-but! The label says black! -opens another can- >_< Shimatta.

Allie: This is wonderful.

Kyoufu: I demand a refund!

Yuusuke: You didn't pay for it…

Kyoufu: >_> Oh yeah, that's right. But I still want a refund.

Yuusuke: e_e

Karasu: So what are we going to do about paint?

Youko: Leave the bus yellow?

Kyoufu: Go steal more paint from Lowes?

Youko: That will take another two hours. e_e

Kyoufu: Wait… -pulls a bunch of random stuff out of her pocket, including black paint- ^.^

Allie: You mean that was there the whole time?

Kyoufu: Guess so…

Allie: >_<

Hiei: Can we just finish this already? -takes the stuff out of the duffle bag and gets on the bus-

Minna: -gets a paintbrush and a can-

Youko: I had better not get paint on me… It'd be hell to get out.

Kyoufu: >_> -edges over to Youko-

Youko: -looks at Kyofu-

Kyoufu: Eh! -starts painting- >_>

Youko: ……. -shrugs-

Kyoufu: -edges closer and dips Youko's tail in paint- -nudges Yuusuke- Psst! Here's a better brush.

Yuusuke: -takes Youko's tail without paying attention- Yeah, whatever. -starts painting again-

Kyoufu: -sneaks over to the other side of the bus- Bwha.

Karasu: What did you do now?

Kyoufu: >_> Whatever do you mean?

Karasu: e_e -looks around the bus- -snickers- He's gonna kill you… You know that, right?

Kyoufu: What did I do? Yuusuke's the one using his tail as a brush… >_>

Youko: -ears twitch- What about my tail?

Kyoufu: Oops…

Youko: -looks at Yuusuke- O_O YUUSUKE URAMESHI!!!

Yuusuke: o_o What?

Youko: -grabs his tail- ONORE! -chucks a paint can at his head-

Yuusuke: -is hit- X_x What did I do!?

Youko: >_< -pulls out a rose- Rose whip!!

Yuusuke: 0_0 Calm down!!

Youko: -shoves Yuusuke against a broken porch post and ties him there with the rose whip-

Yuusuke: x_x Too tight, to many thorns… -passes out-

Karasu: -smirks- Oh, Youko?

Kyoufu: O_O DON'T YOU DARE!!

Karasu: Kyofu was the one that gave Yuusuke your tail…

Kyoufu: o.o Meep.

Youko: -grits his teeth- Nani…

Kyoufu: I did no such thing! -smacks Karasu in the face with a paint brush-

Karasu: -is covered in paint- Yes she did! Kill her!

Minna: -stare at Karasu- 0_o;

Youko: ….. -chucks a paint can at Kyofu-

Kyoufu: 0_0 -moves-

Can: -hits Karasu-

Karasu: >_< -tosses a can at Youko-

Youko: -jumps out of the way-

Hiei: -walks off the bus- I'm done with the lights- 0_0 -gets hit with the can- >_< HN!! -throws the can at Kyofu-

Kyoufu: I didn't do it! -dives behind an old car-

Allie: -gets hit- >_<

Hiei: O_O Oops.

Allie: -picks up paint cans and starts throwing them at everyone-

Youko: Nooo! My hair! -runs around the bus and trips over Karasu-

Karasu: -falls on Hiei-

Hiei: Get off!!

Allie: Muahahaha! -dumps a can of paint on them-

Kyoufu: o.o Meep.

Youko: My hair! >_<

Karasu: You're crushing me…

Hiei: You? What about me!?

Kyoufu: ….. At least the bus is painted now?

Minna: -look at the bus-

Bus: -is covered in black paint-

Allie: ….. Neat.

Hiei: Hn, as I was saying before… I finished with the lights and all that stuff. The windows still need to be tinted, though.

Allie: Hiei and I can do it!

Hiei: Hn, fine. -hands Allie a roll of window tint-

Allie/Hiei: -start tinting the windows-

Karasu: What ever happened to that guy you put in your pocket?

Kyoufu: Huh? Oh, you mean Kyo?

Karasu: Yeah, I guess. Doesn't he need to breathe?

Kyoufu: ….Why do YOU care?

Karasu: Just wondering…

Kyoufu: -pulls Kyo out of her pocket-

Kyo: o.o -looks around- Harahetta…

Kyoufu: -pulls a cookie out of her pocket- Kukkii?

Kyo: -takes the cookie and stares at it- ………

Kyoufu: e_e

Karasu: -pokes Kyo- 0_o Odd little man.

Kyo: -bites at Karasu and climbs on top of the bus-

Kyoufu: 0_0 -jabs Karasu- Thanks a lot.

Karasu: >_>

Kyo: -kicks a can of paint from the top of the bus-

Can: -hits Hiei-

Hiei: o.o Oi! Who threw that!? -swings around and accidentally whacks Allie with a roll of tint-

Allie: >_< -whacks Hiei with a roll of tint-

Hiei: 0_0 -whacks her again-

Allie/Hiei: -start a tint fight-

Minna: o.o;

Kyo: Bwhaha!

Kyoufu: -.- -climbs atop the bus and tackles Kyo-

Kyo: O_O Oi!

Kyoufu: -pulls out an extra roll of tint and wraps him up-

Kyo: T.T

Kyoufu: Back in the pocket with you. -puts Kyo back in her pocket-

Allie/Hiei: -have managed to get wrapped up together in tint-

Hiei: O///O

Allie: -uses her free hand and pats Hiei on the head-

Hiei: -.-

Karasu: -starts to unwrap them-

Kyoufu: -pushes Karasu-

Karasu: o.o -falls over and gets wrapped in tint-

Kyoufu: -snickers-

Allie: -whacks Kyofu in the back of the head- Unwrap him.

Kyoufu: Oi… -.- -unwraps Karasu-

Karasu: -stands up- -growls- So are we done?

Kyoufu: Not yet! -rummages through a pile of junk and pulls out a fish tank- ^_^

Hiei: What are you doing now?

Kyofu: -drags the tank onto the bus- You'll see. -puts the tank on one of the tables-

Karasu: You're putting fish in the bus?

Kyoufu: No, fish can't hurt anyone. Not at least the kind that you put in fish tanks… -starts digging through her pocket- Hm….

Minna: 0_o

Kyoufu: Ah ha! -pulls out a bag that appears to be moving- ^_^ -dumps the contents into the tank- Yay!

Hiei: Scorpions…

Kyoufu: They need to eat…

Youko: -shoves Karasu at the tank- I vote they eat him.

Kyoufu: How kind of you… -flicks a penny in Youko's eye-

Youko: X_<

Allie: Hm… Piranha's can be put in fish tanks. They can hurt people.

Kyoufu: Yeah, guess they can…

Voice from outside: Hello? Does anyone have a can of bread I can borrow?

Minna: 0_o

Kyoufu: ….. -walks off the bus-

Discordia: Couchdrug!

Kyoufu: >_< I'm not a freakin' couch, nor am I a drug.

Discordia: Yes huh.

Kyoufu: >_< …….. ^_^

Minna: 0_o

Kyoufu: -hands Allie and axe- I think I found my scorpion's food…

Allie: >=)

Discordia: ….Potato's?

Kyoufu: Noooo, not potato's.

Discordia: Karasu?

Karasu: Why does everyone want to feed me to them? -_-

Allie: -starts towards Dis with the axe-

Discordia: O_O Nooo! My chickens! -runs in circles-

Minna: 0_o

Kyoufu: e_e -trips her-

Allie: -laughs manically and decapitates Dis-

Minna except Allie and Kyofu: O_O

Kyoufu: -shoves Youko at her- Feed my scorpions.

Youko: O_O Why me!?

Kyoufu: Because. I. Said. So.

Youko: >_< -picks up Discordia's head and carries onto the bus and feeds it to the scorpions-

Kyoufu: Good boy. -pats him on the head-

Youko: -.-;

Hiei: Now what?

Allie: -points to the seats- Set them aflame.

Hiei: -sets fire to the seats-

Allie: -opens a can of pink paint and chucks it into fire-

Kyoufu: -does the same-

Minna: -starts throwing pink paint in the fire-

Fire: -gets bigger and bigger and sets fire to the trailer-

Kyoufu: ….Haha. o.o I mean, oops. >_>

Allie: We need marshmallows…

Kyoufu: -pulls them from her pocket- ^_^

Karasu: What don't you have in there?

Kyoufu: ………A sink.

Hiei: You have everything in there but a sink?

Kyoufu: Yep.

Allie: -points to the sink laying off to the side- Help yourself.

Kyoufu: 0_o I don't see what I'd ever need with a sink…

Allie: -shrugs- -takes a stick a roasts a marshmallow-

Minna: -do the same-

Allie: ……. -flings it at Youko's head-

Youko: O_O -hair catches fire-

Kyoufu: Poor Youko. That wasn't very nice… -flings a marshmallow at his head as well-

Minna: -start flinging flaming marshmallows at Youko's head-

Youko: >_< Stop it! -runs in circles-

Kyoufu: -trips him-

Youko: o.o -falls into the fire-

Minna: o_o

Kyoufu: Sooo, who wants to test how well the bus works now?

Karasu: I wanna drive…

Kyoufu: Alright…. I guess. -hands him the bus keys-

Karasu: -gets on the bus and starts it-

Bus: -explodes-

Minna: O_O

Karasu: -laying on his back in a pile of twisted metal- I swear I didn't do it. X.x

Kyoufu: -forced back into a pile of junk by the explosion- @_@ Then who did? -pushes a car door off herself- Eesh.

Hiei: Baka Karasu.

Karasu: I said it wasn't me!

Allie: Then who did it?

Yuusuke: -who had somehow untied himself- I did! Revenge is mine! -jumps around all hyper and joyful like- Muahahaha!

Kyoufu: -growls and attacks Yuusuke- My scorpions were on that bus you moronic fool of a boy!

Yuusuke: o.o Meep.

Minna: -watch Yuusuke get pummeled into oblivion-

Karasu: Can't scorpions survive an atomic blast? They wouldn't be dead from that small explosion…

Kyoufu: ….You're right. -kicks Yuusuke into the woods- -runs over to what was the bus and start looking for her scorpions-

Minna: o.o; -watches as she picks them up and puts them in her pocket-

Kyoufu: ^_^ All done. -pats her pocket-

Allie: ……Who wants to go get ice cream?

Hiei: Sweet snow!? -drools-

Minna: -stare at Hiei-

Hiei: >_> Nani?

Kyoufu: …..We can take my truck.

Karasu: Can I drive….?

Kyoufu: NO!! -cough- I mean, no you may not sir. -walks to the driver's side door-

Karasu: T.T Hn.

Hiei: -glares at Karasu-

Karasu: -glares back-

Kyoufu: I'm going to leave you here.

Hiei/Karasu: -start fighting with each other over who gets the front-

Allie: e_e -sits in the front seat-

Hiei/Karasu: >_< -get in the backseats-

Kyoufu: -starts the truck and backs up, only to hit the other neighbors car- o.o Whoops. >_>

Minna: -.-;

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Owari!