Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction ❯ Thinking Of You ❯ Hold On ( Chapter 16 )

Thoughts Of You

*I could feel your hot breath on my skin. I looked down at your head. You were just looking at my bare chest. Staring at it in awe. I still couldn't believe you had chosen me. You lower your head and begin licking my chest…*

I moan slightly in my sleep. What a graphic dream. I scrunch up my face and then open my eyes. You're staring out into space. Specifically the space above my head, in my hair. I notice that my arms are wrapped about your waist, I feel a blush creeping onto my face, but hold it down.

"Hiei?" I mumble. You don't seem to take notice. I sit up, dislodging my arms from your waist.

"Hiei?" I repeat.

"The gem!" you shout as you shove me to the side and jump over the cliff. I react quickly; I grab your feet and hang on for dear life.

"Hiei!" I scream. My feet slip a bit. I look down at you; you have something in your hand. I cock my head to the side. Then I grimace as your weight shifts and my feet slip again.

"Eep!"

You look up at me.

"Kurama?"

"Hang on Hiei. I won't ever let you go," I call to you. Sorrow fills your eyes. I face it with determination. My feet slip for the third time.

"Kurama," you call. "Let me go. I won't let you die with me. Especially if it's for me."

"I won't give you up this easy. Death is something I can never reclaim you from. I will not lose the person I…." I growl. I realize what I've said as you gasp. No turning back now…

"I will not lose the person I love!" I shout to the heavens. I won't let go of you, even if it means my own death. "You've had a horrible life Hiei. It may be selfish of me, but don't you deserve to know love?"

"But I already do," you say. "I love you."

I gasp. How could I have missed it? You came back for a day so that you could be with me. And I, being the dense person I am, hadn't seen it and had invited the others. Boy did I feel stupid! My grip increases and I begin to pull you up.

"Kurama, let me go," you say to me. "It will do neither of us any good if both of us die."

"At least I'll die with you, and have died trying," I manage through clenched teeth. "I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I let you die."

My feet slip.

// Hold on, Hold on to yourself, for this is gonna hurt like hell. //

"Kurama?" I haven't said a word in minutes. "Let me go Kurama."

// Hold on, Hold on to yourself, you know that only time can tell //

"I will not," I shout. "You deserve happiness as much as the rest of us! Why is it fate never allows you the chance to try? You nearly have no feelings left!"

// What is in me that refuses to believe //

"I had none `til I met you, and I hid behind that mask for as long as I could, not wanting to be rejected. I am the Forbidden Child; it made perfect sense to me. I've had a hard life Kurama. You know I have. Any feelings I had had been scared the second I was thrown out. It took me a long time to build walls to protect myself with. It protected what feelings I developed. Then you came along and everything started to change. I wanted to open up and let you in. But now it's too late. Let me go."

// This isn't easier than the real thing. //

"I won't let you go," I said. A crystalline tear fell.

// My love you know that you're my best friend; you know that I'd do anything for you. //

"I won't have you die for me!" you shouted as loud as you could. I looked down at you. You looked up at me. Something passed between us.

My eyes filled with tears as your feet slip again. "You don't have to do this," you tell me. I smile.

"Don't keep those tears welled up," I say.

// And my love let nothing come between us my love is strong and true. //

"I don't cry!" you shout.

// Am I in heaven here or am I… At the crossroads I am standing. //

"Showing emotion is the first step to letting someone in, especially if you're already this far along already! I can help you! Let me! Do you think it is easy to go around lying and hiding your feelings to the people who you care about most? I experience that all the time. I know you know what it's like, not to experience feeling, but to have it and not show it is harder then repressing it! I thought love conquered all, but if you want to die that bad, I guess it doesn't. I can't tell my mother what, or who I am! Up until now I couldn't tell you I loved you! I can't tell anyone anything!"

// So now you're sleeping peaceful I lie awake and pray you'll be strong tomorrow //

I'm shivering I'm so wracked with emotion. Soft tinkling sounds echo as tear gems fall as you give in to the emotion you deprived yourself of all these years.

We are perfect for each other. It shows clearly. There is such perfect harmony echoing through the emotion turmoil.

// And we'll see another day and we will praise it. //

"Life really does cheat you," I whisper.

// I love the light that brings a smile across your face. //

"I don't want to die, not with out spending all of the time I can with you by my side," you tell me. A sad smile spreads across my face.

// Oh god if you're out there won't you hear me. //

"Well, as a technicality, you're doing that right now, itoshii," I say. You laugh.

// I know we've never talked before.

Oh god the man I love is leaving, won't you take him when he comes to your door? //

"Ai Shiteru Kurama."

// Am I in heaven here or am I in hell? At the crossroads I am standing. //

"Ai Shiteru Hiei."

// So now you're sleeping peaceful I lie awake and pray you'll be strong tomorrow //

"Over here!" a loud voice booms behind me. You raise your head lethargically. I turn my head. A group of people is rushing to my side. They must've heard our shouting. I flinch slightly. They come up to me and tie a rope around my waist. They start to pull, as do I. Soon you're on the ground. You are kneeling with your head downcast.

// And we will see another day and we will praise it. //

I kiss you with all my heart. You are my other half. The other me. The person I want to share all my days, nights, and lives with. I will never betray you, and I will never leave your side. Ai Shiteru.

You kiss me back with as much love and force as I kiss you with. We are meant for each other, and we both know it. We will spend the rest of our lives together.

// I love the light that brings a smile across your face… //

"Come on Hiei, let's get breakfast," I say as we finally break the kiss. I stand up and hold out my hand. You put your smaller one in it. The tear gem falls to the ground, forgotten. A symbol of a love repressed, and a time forgotten.

"I will always be by your side. You can count on it," I whisper in your ear as countless cameramen take our pictures for numerous newspapers as we walk back to my car. You nod your head.

"No more hiding your feelings?" I ask, turning my head to face you.

"No more hiding feelings." you agree. We seal the deal with a kiss.

"Ai Shiteru," you whisper as we climb in my car. I smile and kiss you again. We get in the car.

// Hold on, hold on to yourself for this is gonna hurt like hell //

I hum the same tune all the way to the place we're going to for breakfast. Finally I play the song. I sing the song as you stare at me in wonder.

"…My lover needs to cease. Bring me to my knees. Reads me like a prayer. Calls the spirit there. Secretly inspires. Strips me to desire. I wonder. I wonder. No one can visualize. No one can make me rise, like my lover. They, uh, they dream of paradise, but they'll never pay the price. My lover. My lover. My lover. My lover…"

I continue singing. You've gone into an appreciative trance. You stare at me lovingly, listening to the complete devotion and lover in my voice. I park the car at the end of the song. We are back in the city and at my favorite place for breakfast. We ended up sitting next to the TV. I didn't even notice they were doing a news brief on us until you nudged me. I smiled and laughed at the waitress.

We took our time getting home. I drove slowly, there was traffic anyway, and we talked. We spoke of many things. We were confronted by my mother and our friends as we got there. My heart leapt in my chest. Did she know?! Our friends greeted us enthusiastically. They parted like the red sea for Moses as my mother approached me. I took in a deep breath, expecting the worst. She hugged me. I was so startled I didn't hug her back at first.

"Shuiichi," she said as she let me go. "I am happy to know that you love someone enough to be willing to risk your life for their well being. I am very proud of you."

She turned to you, who had shrunk off to the side. She went to you and embraced you. You clearly didn't expect it, nor did you like it. You stood there rigidly and let her hug you. I gave her my biggest, brightest smile. My dreams were coming true.

Ta da! *crash* I really need to work on that… well, that is the end of the "Thoughts of You" thingy. I have just decided that it's tedious to rewrite all of my many chapters in the other characters POVs. I hope you liked the change of perspective. I will now return to Hiei's POV. The songs included in this chapter were "Hold On" by Sarah McLaughlin, and "My Lover" by Melissa Etheridge. I know I've said this before but please review. I would love to know if you have any ideas for my next chapters. I will probably do them, unless they're Hentai. I do read that, but I refuse to write it, for now. Who knows, maybe I will. Well, this was pretty long… Hoped you liked it! ^_^