Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction ❯ Unbalanced Pendulum ❯ Innocent Revelations ( Chapter 8 )

THANKS FOR THE FEEDBACK EVERYONE!

Kooriya Yui - no idea on that "kudos" problem, lol. I don't usually capitalize it though.

Kuranga108 - sorry to have lost you on the last chapter, things will be explained.

YamiStar - something really weird is going on with MM.org. The site was down for a

week and now that I can finally access my account, everything's different and

really, really messed up.

Blackfiredragon Kodaijin Hiei Darksaphire Golden

Nasa Ow/d Maxwell Loki-sama MikaSamu Symbolic

What2CallMyself Dark_KittyCat NobodyNow Blade99507

A/N: I feel like I left many unfinished thoughts in the last chapter so I'll try to play catch-up with this chapter, picking up the pieces I left in chapter 7's wake so to speak.

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Unbalanced Pendulum

Chapter 8: Innocent Revelations

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Kurama's POV

Three days past and the rain finally moved on, still trying to reach us with the last drops of a heavy cloud. Blind fingers snagging at our clothes and hair, guided by the wind, were finally dragged away by their body. And we were left alone, again. It was time to move on to wherever Hiei would lead me. Hopefully, outpacing our chilled atmosphere. That one night weighed heavily on both our minds - I'd like to believe.

---

Could I have imagined anything so perfect as the image of Hiei and I in the stream's runoff pond? Holding him within my arms like a weightless child of ceremony, I waded, fully clothed, into the heated water. Increasing my energy output to raise the friction generated by my Makai Waterfly plants before lowering him into the water. The clear, ribbed stems disappearing under the water's surface, causing the sprite-like leaves to flutter seemingly independent, marionette choreography in which the audience never guesses the presence of the puppeteer. The ribs of the stems chafed against each other to generate an awe-inspiring amount of heat. Hiei floated, a beautiful voodoo doll soaking in magick oil. My wet hair spilling over my shoulders to hang around us and sweep through the water, a shimmering curtain disguising a king's harem.

He was gorgeously lost to the world, and I was going to look after him. My doll.

I must have stood for hours, cleansing him. Stealing away his fears lest they only be chased away, we talked, often without words. I couldn't remember that I was supposed to hate him or that my tenderness was a razor blade cutting too thinly to be seen.

I whispered and listened and calmed…him not me.

Then I took him from the warm sanctuary into our leafy one and held him while he slept through the worst of the lunacy. My excuse was he needed my body heat - very true to be sure. But it comforted me to see his face from so little a distance away.

…Innocence…

The word materialized in my mind unbidden by me as he lay cuddled to my chest. His eyes were closed and unmoving, too deeply asleep to dream. And I was suddenly scared of him.

…Innocence…

It haunted me, cackled at all of my aspirations and schemes, forced my eyelids to their maximum capacity, and left my nerves painfully raw.

…Innocence…

A lie! He killed Kuronue! It had to be a lie!

I could no longer bear his touch and laid him on the ground as gently as I could in my haste, cringing away from him. His calm sleep was no longer endearing but mocking, jeering at my stupidity and gullibility. I had to leave the cave, had to get away from him. But pacing outside the shelter solved nothing rather it left me only more anxious. I was panicking I knew. My thoughts were scattered and I couldn't keep still. That one word kept disturbing any amount of peace I might achieve:

…Innocence…

Before I knew what I was doing, a literal blade of grass had been neatly stabbed clean through my left hand. I couldn't feel the puncture. It was odd and it ensnared me. The hot crimson wriggled down my palm and wove through my fingers almost playfully. There was something definitive about the sight of my blood flowing out of my veins, staining the lines of my palm. A thin strain of it caught in my lifeline and changed the direction of its flow. This miniscule path of blood existed, stuck in place, while the main stream flowed ultimately to my fingertips and dripped to the earth, exiting my body and leaving my life behind it.

I never had the gift of foresight before that vision. But in the rivulets of blood, all things were made clear. I didn't understand all of the things that I decided in those short moments but there was no doubt of their accuracy. I existed and so I would live through this. What came next…? I knew without knowing, understood without understanding.

…Innocence…

One last time the word came to my mind and I was able to push it aside.

I made sure to wash and heal the last traces of my dread in the stream that still held the memory of warmth. The blood was diluted and lost, forgotten, along the water's current. Foresight for the damned saturated in one's own blood. Then I returned to the shelter and pretended to sleep. When Hiei awoke several hours later I was on the last legs of consciousness, a fog blown away one breath at a time. I remember feeling his approach and his tentative touch before I ultimately lost my battle with exhaustion. It was the first time I'd slept since Kuronue's death.

I dreamt of yanking the whiskers off a cat.

---

We haven't spoke since that night, neither of us, returning to our usual silence. Pretending nothing happened, his choice. This was not the time for me to pry into a personal event that, if I assumed correctly, even he didn't understand. I think he was surprised that I wasn't blackmailing him. What had transpired had the potential to become a tremendously dangerous weapon against him.

I shook my head, inwardly, that he should still think so lowly of me. I was guilty of planning to emotionally shatter him (collateral damage only, an unavoidable consequence of my plans but not their purpose) but I wouldn't be so lowly and shrewd as to use something this private against the confused demon. I did have my honor; logic could deduct that. But, as I was learning, Hiei acted upon long ingrained experience and he wasn't about to change his too general views for one person. And he thought he was subtle. It was highly amusing.

He had begun to seek my eye contact with aggressive fervor, challenging not delving as many might mistake it for. Instead of avoiding me he was purposefully getting in my way, gauging my reaction. Not a bad tactic, but I was no fool. I continued to act my part, offering a small, placating smile or humbly (likely seemingly intimidated) acknowledging his gaze with a glance to, then away. Let him think me tamed and unsure.

It was time to leave.

I dismantled my flora creation and recollected what of it I wished to keep. And then we ran.

---

"Hiei stop!" I called out. He paused, turning around to glare at me, arms folded in annoyance. I was not to be so easily shaken. "You mustn't go that way. I know these forests well, this territory should not be bothered."

Hiei sneered, refusing to be deterred. Apparently he was angry with me for bearing witness to his breakdown. I should have known better than to speak of this near place being too dangerous. He was too eager to prove his strength and I had been too caught up in my thoughts to notice the corner we had been steadily approaching. I knew better than to hope he would be easily swayed, but I was still shocked at his snarled, final words.

"You will follow me, coward." He turned and disappeared into the impenetrable territory before I could voice another protest.

My whole body felt weighted down. The black pulse I imagined emanating from the darkening forests was crushing me. I would've thrown my dignity to the wind before entering that place of my own accord because I knew that I would lose it either way. Enough dark tales emerged from these ill-spirited trees, how did he not feel the oppression? He probably did, I thought with a morbid laugh. And maybe he could face down whatever lay inside, but I knew *I* couldn't. No plant within this beating ring would listen to my comparatively infant voice. Ancient doom was painting me with its tar, yet Hiei was right, I had no choice but to crawl through the muck following his trail until I was utterly suffocated.

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Hiei's POV

What the fuck was happening to me? That bastard saw me like…like…well that was the problem. I didn't know what *that* was. Only one other time in my life had I ever felt so helpless and lost. And then, I lay bundled in wards hundreds if not thousands of feet below the home I knew only in my first days. I'd been trapped within the blanket, unable to move from that spot of my own initiative. It had been raining then and I'd been so cold, soaked through and painfully understanding that I had been abandoned to hopeful death.

That wasn't when my vulnerability began. It took years for me to fully appreciate how meaningful the rain was, how symbolic. Each rain - no light sprinkle but monsoon-like downpours - my reaction worsened, a terrible allergy that would eventually kill me. Though, this was the first time I'd actually gone catatonic. Why didn't my adrenaline keep me aware as it had done in compromising situations before? A demon's body was designed to take everything thrown at it and live - live! Above all else was the body's (if not the mind's) desire to survive. So why didn't it respond?

There were only two answers that I could think of: a) my condition had worsened incredibly and my body could no longer cope with my mental breakdowns, or b) my body didn't register my situation as dangerous. The latter was preposterous, right? I was in the middle of a job and the kitsune was sure a dangerous, untrustworthy entity - my enemy…wasn't he?

It was only afterwards, when I had awoken from my surprisingly restful sleep, did I realize how deeply I had withdrawn.

---

I lay still on the dirt that was the floor of our makeshift shelter, my hazy memories solidifying with each sweep of the loom's shuttle. I remembered cold, wet, outdoors, moving…and then warmth, safety, comfort. There was a river (stream, pond?) and shining silver glass. The kitsune.

My initial reaction was to wriggle in disgust at the thought of his touch, of being that close to…*him*, the crawling feeling under my skin gathering in intensity until my shoulders shook. But, as the tapestry's design emerged thread by thread, I began to connect his touch to the soothing warmth, his voice to the muse of sanity, and his presence to…

And there he was in a condensed sprawl on his side, sleeping on the smoothed logs not three feet away. I couldn't resist my curiosity, anger momentarily shadowed in the outward curve of its wake, and I crept towards him. A bit of mud had splattered his white robes and what had to be a small green chlorophyll smudge tarnished his otherwise pristine wrists. His hair was matted and clumped here and there from being whipped about in the rain, but still hung perfectly straight to pool upon the ground. I didn't see how he could tolerate it. I admit I liked these imperfections, they made the spirit seem *real* and within (rather than beyond) my grasp.

My wandering hand grazed one of his large vulpine ears making it twitch. It was smoother than fresh velvet like furry lamb's skin. His hair was damp to the touch and the water dimmed its luster. So white it was almost a pale blue normally, now bordering on the lightest of grays - the color of his eyebrows. I was surprised (finally close enough to notice) to see that his eyelashes weren't black but dark gray at the base and lightening to white then thinning to nearly clear. They weren't overwhelmingly long either. Figures, when it's more ethereal to not overemphasize a trait of beauty it wasn't.

I was beginning to appreciate just how physically perfect kitsunes, or at least this one, were.

My fingers traced the line of his cheekbone. I was astonished at how pale he was. I was dark skinned by no means, but I looked charred in comparison. The only traces of color on his body were in his closed eyes. Controlled by an unknown compulsion, I lightly ran my thumbs over both his closed eyelids. I increased the pressure until I could feel the slight bulges of his irises and pupils through the skin. Shaken, I suddenly pulled my thumbs away. My hands were trembling.

I stood up and left. Walked directly out into the rain, tipping my face skyward and letting the cold crash unhindered into me. Nothing. I only felt life.

What had he done to me?

---

"You will follow me, coward," I snarled.

He couldn't possibly expect gratitude or leniency from me? I didn't know what magick he used to fool my mind, but I wasn't going to treat him any differently for it. Besides, I would fear nothing in my way. And this `territory' was in my way.

I sped forward into the forest, trusting him to follow me not moments after. Within feet I had lost all sense of direction, disoriented in the thick darkness.

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