Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction ❯ Walking Backwards ❯ Reflection: Author Note ( Chapter 2 )

I promise, Walking Backwards really is a one-shot. This is just a random author note inspired by a review I got from Hieisbestbuddy888.

By the way, I took out the line mentioning Yuusuke specifically.

About the note saying that this story specifically doesn't mention names, so it could theoretically be any of the four main characters speaking (which is why that line about "depending on your definition of old" is in there, to save myself). I admit, I originally had Hiei in mind as I wrote, but then I reread the finished document and thought it sounded more like Kurama, and then I reread it again and thought it sounded more like some fifth character I had accidentally invented, and then I realized what my problem was.

It's more a combination of all four characters than it is one of them specifically. Because the fic isn't about Hiei's death, or Kurama's death, or Yuusuke's death, or Kuwabara's death. It's about death itself.

At first, it sounds like Kurama is speaking, because of the language. Then Hiei comes around and says he went into the battle too rashly, expecting that he would be stronger because…he's Hiei, and Hiei is simply stronger than you. Then Kurama again, with all the philosophy about the meaning of death and the psychology of those left in the wake. Then Yuusuke, defending himself as "not weak, or anything" and talking about living life under pressure. Then Kuwabara talking about "that damn hill, where my life and the lives of my friends ended" and how there will be resentment, and he will watch them all move on with their lives, but he will move on, too, eventually. In a way.

Then comes the conclusion, about wishing he could join their laughter and dry their tears, and live as he was meant to live. That could be any of them, I think. I could see any of them saying "I'll take whatever death throws my way."

The best way I can think of to explain this bizarre quadruple pseudo-death is that this takes place a few years after the end of the story, and they've all just grown. Together, of course. They've grown together, fought together, saved each other's asses, and, admit it or not, they're all friends. Yes, even Hiei and Kuwabara respect each other, if they don't always like each other.

They've all grown up together, really, and they've all rubbed off on each other, affecting the ways the others are growing. Yuusuke may have picked up on Kurama's and Hiei's love for the chase and Kuwabara may have picked up on Kurama's intellect and strategy, and Hiei may have gotten some of Kuwabara's devotion to and respect and love for his friends, and they've all gotten some love of freedom and ability to take things as they come from Yuusuke.

Maybe the language is a little advanced for Kuwabara, who, incidentally, is a much more noble character in the Japanese version than the English one [who are in the habit of throwing in random lines to make him sound even less intelligent, like that clip from Yuusuke's fight with Sensui when he told Yuusuke what to do, "because he won't expect that, unless that's what he thinks you're going to do, 'cause then you shouldn't…" which bothered me to no end]. Maybe Kurama wouldn't swear. Maybe Yuusuke wouldn't be so philosophical. Maybe Hiei wouldn't be so friendly.

Or maybe they're all rubbed off on each other and this story could really be any of them.

The point is, this isn't a story about one thing, necessarily. It's about the theme and idea of death, and psychologically, how we go about thinking about it. And how the ones who are actually dead may think things totally unrelated to what we think or want them to be thinking. I wrote this because I know I've revived more than one character to have a story end as "happily ever after," and I know I've had people close to me die and that revival doesn't really work that way. So maybe this fic will let you rethink the liberality with which you revive your characters.

Just a little.