Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction ❯ When Fairy Tales Attack!! ❯ Kurama Hood Part VIII ( Chapter 17 )

When Fairy Tales Attack!!

CoWritten by: Tuathafaerie and Nenagh24

Disclaimer: We don't own Yu Yu Hakusho, Disney films, or the Brother's Grimm. Note that any actual dialog taken from the movies might be interspersed without identification and that this disclaimer applies to any such lines. Please do not sue because of it.

Note: Any slandering of said Disney films or fairy tales is author intrusion and fully intentional. Enjoy!

Okay, it's the end of Kurama Hood, so be prepared!! (I did say I was finishing it!) This chapter is really long, though, almost the size of two chapters, so if you're printing it out, watch the ink. (sorry) Anyway, please enjoy!! Thanks for the reviews!! I'm really close to a hundred on this one! :)

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Chapter 17

Rewind:

Kurama: (sighs)

Yusuke: …right…moving on.

Play:

Toguro: …

Yusuke: …so? It's your line!

Everyone gazes at Toguro, who remains unspeaking. After a moment, he seems to realize they are waiting for something.

Toguro: …I'm in a church.

Everyone: (prat falls)

Yusuke: Is that even allowed?!!

Toguro: (shrugs) It's an empty church. No one cares.

Yusuke: Beside the point!!

Botan: Oh dear, I think we'd better just skip some things…(looks over at the freaking Yusuke)

Yukina, with a smile on her face, approaches Toguro. Keiko gasps as she remembers what is coming up in this scene.

Keiko: No! Get back, Yukina!

Yukina: (smiling widely) Howdy, Friar, well I dropped by just in time.

Kuwabara: (panicking) What?! What's going to happen to my sonnet of love, my poetic perfection?!

Yusuke: Where does he come up with this junk?

Botan: (shrugs)

Kurama: (frowning) I'm afraid Yukina will be forced to do the unthinkable.

Yusuke: (shocked) NO!! With Toguro?!

Kuwabara: (crying) My precious petal, my weeping wisteria!!

Keiko: Yukina, get away from there!! You can't fight Toguro!!

At her words, both Yusuke and Kuwabara freeze. Kurama sighs as he looks at them.

Botan: Uh…what were they thinking?

Hiei: (turns away, disgusted) Onna, don't ask.

Yukina: (continuing; smiling) Now, Mr. Toguro, you're going to have to resist authority so I can arrest you.

Toguro: …very well. The prince is a jerk.

Yusuke: Hey!

Koenma: Take that back!

Yukina: That's fine. Now, let's just tie you up and we can be on our way!

The cast watch in amazement as Toguro, the ultimate battle for Yusuke during the Dark Tournament, the near killer of Kuwabara, the traitor to Genkai, the kidnapper of Hiei's sister, and friend to that freaky dude who unfairly beat Kurama [an: I'm still upset about that], along with having some relation to the other fighters, Jin and Touya, calmly allows the tiny Yukina to thread a rope around his neck and lead him off to the jail cell. Maybe it was the prospect of being confined with Genkai that motivated him, but this one will never know. [an: Kenshin! The Kurama look alike…well, Kurama has better hair…]

Everyone: O.O

Yusuke: …I'm taking Yukina home with me!!

Kuwabara: She's mine!

Hiei: (growls)

Keiko: (rolls her eyes) Oh, for heaven's sake, Yukina is not a pet!

Yusuke: (seriously nodding) You're right. She's a marketable tool! Imagine the stuff I could do…(eyes go dreamy)

Keiko: (whacks Yusuke)

Genkai: Oh, hi Toguro. In for high treason, I see. You're supposed to have a separate cell, but quite honestly I think we're running low on the production budget.

Toguro: …….. …

Genkai: (blushes) Well, yes, that does mean you get to stay with me, but none of that stuff! We do have other people here you know…

Flyr: (rolls eyes) Oh, get it on, for all I care.

Genkai pauses, then shrugs, taking out a deck of cards. With excitement, she divides the deck evenly, then fans her cards.

Genkai: You go first.

Toguro: (calmly draws card, then lays down a pair)

Yusuke: (eyes popping) What are they DOING in there?!!

Jin: (watching) Ah, well, I do believe that tha game is called Old Maid, but `tif you need a refresher on tha rules, I guess I could tell ya.

Kurama: (sighs) I do believe it's your turn, Kuwabara.

Kuwabara: Oh, right! (pulls out script) Ahem. Sire, if I may venture an option.

Keiko: Opinion.

Kuwabara: (not paying attention) You're not your usual cheerful, general self today.

Keiko: (angry) Genial!

Kuwabara: (still reading script intently) I know. You haven't counted your money for days. It all makes you so happy. …

Yusuke: Well, isn't there something else you have to tell me?

Kuwabara: (embarrassed) I can't. Seems like my script got wet when I was crying for my delightful doe.

Botan: (sweatdrop) Those are getting a little far fetched. [an: don't I know it]

Genkai, sour that she has pulled the Old Maid, turns back to the action occurring behind her.

Genkai: (rolls eyes) Oh for goodness sake, you idiot! (throws a well aimed script at Kuwabara's head) Take it! I don't have any more lines.

Keiko frowns, obviously thinking of denying this, but shrugs.

Kuwabara: (rubbing head) Ow! Man, that old woman could enter the professional leagues! (flips through script) Oh! Here I was! Let's see…Friar Toguro is in jail.

Yusuke: …I knew that. Anything else?

Kuwabara: Nope, I just repeat myself.

Yusuke: That's true to life. Okay, so, um, what to do with Toguro? (taps fingers on chin) I know I should just hang him and get it over with, but I'm thinking a trip flying around with a sugared up Jin is a pretty good start.

Both Flyr and Genkai glare from the cell.

Yusuke: Or how about a shopping trip with Keiko? (shivers)

Keiko: (glaring) Continue that train of though, Yusuke, and I can't guarantee you'll still be living tomorrow.

Yusuke: Like that's anything new. (sighs) I guess hanging it is.

Kuwabara: Why are we hanging him anyways?

Yusuke: (shrugs) Don't know.

Kurama: (sweatdrop) I do believe you're supposed to be trapping me…

Yusuke: (brightens) I hadn't thought of that, but it's a terrific idea! Kill two birds with one stone! Or rope. Whatever.

Kurama: I have to get caught by this? -.-u Oh boy…

Youko: (internally) You're telling me! Shesh!

Back near the cell, Yukina watches as several onis push in a scaffold set, obviously store bought, as seen by the plastic ornaments and cheap fake wood. She waves cheerily to Samantha, who gives a less than reassuring grin back. Must have been those teeth… Anyways, the ice maiden approaches the set and tugs on the hangman's noose, made of 100% polyester.

Yukina: (happy) Well, Touya, everything's rigged up and all set.

Kuwabara: (suspicious) Why's she speaking to him?!!

Hiei: (eyebrow up) He's got a better suit than you, monkey.

Kuwabara: (angry) Yeah? And what's this got to do with you, shorty?

Yusuke pokes Kuwabara, unbelieving, while Hiei merely turns away, not gracing the idiot with a reply.

Yusuke: Uh, Kuwabaka? Weren't you here when Yukina announced he was her brother?

Kuwabara and Hiei share similar looks of horror.

KH: [an: the only time they'll do anything together] WHAT?!!

Hiei: (glares at Botan)

Botan: I swear I didn't tell!

Hiei: (shifts glare to Kurama)

Kurama: (backs up) Me neither.

Yusuke: (thoughtful) Oh yeah, that's right, you were knocked out. Sorry `bout that. (notices Hiei glaring; sweatdrops) And you were, um, occupied. I knew I was forgetting something important…

Kurama: Hiei, stop thinking about killing Yusuke! Yukina figured it out for herself. (mutters) You were obvious enough sometimes.

Hiei: (grumbling)

Kuwabara: (recovering from shock) So I really am going to be related to a murderer?!

Botan and Kurama jump onto a twitching Hiei before he can think to go for his katana. Kurama searches his pockets and comes out with some left over sedative.

Kurama: I think we need to buy more of this stuff next time…-.-u

Kuwabara: My poor cream filled darling, my tantalizing truffle!

Yukina: (still smiling) I don't mind. Hiei's actually kind've nice to have for a brother.

Kuwabara: (amazingly doubtful) If you say so, my buttercup.

Touya has been rounding the new set, poking at the fake wood, which squishes slightly. He freezes a piece of the floor, and it cracks off under the pressure.

Touya: (sweatdrop) This is complete junk.

Jin: Oo! Oo! Shouldn't we give tha old beauty a test? (pats the scaffold fondly)

Yukina: (shakes her head) Criminently. Now I know why your mama called you…wait, no I don't. Why did your mother call you Jin?

Jin: Ah, well me girl, `tis a bit of a story, ya see. `Tall began when me ma met me da in tha old pub-

Touya: (cuts him off) They drank gin together. His mother just couldn't spell it.

Jin: (pouting) Touya, ya got ta stop ruinin' good stories.

Kurama: (dressed in an old cloak with sunglasses [an: looking cool. But when does he change? O.o]) Alms. Alms for the poor. Do me old ears hear the melodious voice of the Sheriff?

Yusuke: What is it with Kurama and tic tacs?

Kuwabara: Maybe he wants fresh breath?

Yusuke: (smirks) Yeah. To smooch all the fangirls. (dodges blow from Keiko)

Yukina: Yep! That would be me, old man!

Youko: (internally) …hey, I'm not old!

Kurama: (sweatdrop) What be going on here?

Yusuke: Ah, come on Kurama. I don't go to school often, but that was terrible! Where's your grammar?

Keiko: (suddenly proud) I must be getting through to him! Y-Y

Kurama: (sighs) Yusuke, I am a sentient creature with the ability to ponder things out. I do believe, that if I so attempted the challenge, I could travel obliquely to any miscellaneous observations that a person with your mental capacity could decide to parcel out.

Keiko: (bursts out laughing)

Hiei: (…smirks)

Botan: Oh, dear.

Yusuke: …um, hey?

Yukina: (continuing, smiling) We're hanging Toguro!

Kurama: Oh good - wait, uh, hang Friar Toguro?

Jin: (just as excited) Yea, sure tis just terrific! (turns to Yukina) Do ya think it could be a double hangin'?

Touya: (eyebrow up) …I don't think we want that. (pauses) Unless maybe it's you…

Flyr: (throws a shoe) Watch it, ice man!

Kurama: (slightly unnerved by the strange people) Um, hm… A double hanging, eh? Who be the other one to get the rope?

Touya: (pondering roles) Now, I know why Yukina's here, and why Jin and I are unfortunately on this stage, but who are you supposed to be?

Kurama: (thrown off because Touya is not following his lines) Uh… I didn't mean nothing but couldn't there be trouble if Kurama Hood showed up?

Jin: Nope, we'd just hang himself also!

Touya: (nodding) So that's who you - Jin! That's not very nice.

Kurama: Ah, no need to worry. The Sheriff'll be too crafty, too clever and too smart for the likes of him, says I.

Touya: (looks at Yukina; shrugs) Could happen.

Youko: (internally; scoffing) Yeah right!

Kurama: (internally; thoughtful) You never know…

Yukina: Ha, ha. You hear that, Jin? For being blind, he sure knows a good woman when he sees one, ha, says I.

Kuwabara: …Kurama's blind? My precocious poppy, I think you'd better fix that.

Yukina: (gently) He's just play acting, dear.

The dreaded "d" word has been mentioned once again, with Hiei fully alert. Unfortunately, his actions are impeded by the sedative, which is affecting his power over his muscles. Instead, he decides to work on his eyes and send half-force death glares.

Touya: Actually, I think Kurama is against us.

Yukina: Oh shut up, Touya.

Everyone: O.o

Yukina: (continuing calmly) He's just a harmless blind beggar.

Kurama: Riiiiiight. (turns away with questioning expression) Alms. Alms for the poor. Alms, Alms for the poor.

Hiei: (still trying to counteract the sedative) Hanging Toguro? They can give it a shot.

Kurama: Sorry. I'm afraid we're going to have to rescue him.

Hiei: (eyebrow up) Why? They probably won't be able to kill him. Though good luck.

Kurama: (sighs) Come on, Hiei, let's just do it and get it over with. I'll let you steal some things if you agree.

Youko: (internally; eager) Really? Me too?

Hiei: …okay, fine.

Jin: One o'clock! And all's well!

Yusuke: Do you really know what time it is? `Cause this place doesn't have any windows.

Jin: Oh, yes, boyo. `Tis really rather easy.

Yukina: How's it done?

Jin: Well, `tis quite a tale, actually. Ya see, I get tha wind to circle about a couple o'times, all excited like, then I send it out ta -

Touya: He gets it to "look" for him. Not difficult.

Jin: (sighs) Ya always ruin me stories, Touya.

Touya rolls his eyes and sits, bored, at the edge of the scaffold. After a minute, he forms an ice sword and begins poking at the floor, putting miniscule holes in it.

Yukina: Criminently, Touya! Point that peashooter the other way.

Touya: …I wouldn't call an ice sword a peashooter. Where are you getting these lines from, Yukina?

Yukina: (shrugs and continues) What are you trying to do, you birdbrain?

Touya: I'm not a birdbrain. That would be your other swain. And I'm not doing anything.

Kuwabara: Yukina's got a swan?

Kurama: -.-u It's a good thing he didn't get that.

Yukina: (smiling) Oh, you and that itchy trigger finger of yours.

Touya: Are you referring to Yusuke?

Kurama: Yes, that would be rather apt. (shakes head)

Kurama scans the script and discovers the time for action has come. Seeing as Hiei is still slightly incapacitated, he approaches Jin by himself. The wind master smiles up at him.

Jin: Oh, hiya, Kurama! Whatcha doin' over here?

Kurama: Sorry about this. (takes out chloroform rag and covers Jin's mouth)

Flyr: What's he - hey! Stop doing that to Jin!

Jin: This is funny air. What's it supposed to do, Kurama?

Kurama: (sighs) Oh whatever. Just come with me, Jin.

Jin: Well…okay! (happily follows Kurama off stage)

Keiko: I don't think the real version went anything like that…-.-u

Touya: Would you like to go investigate that, Yukina? (holds out his hand politely)

Yukina: (smiles) Sure! There's something funny going on around here. Come on. You cover me. (takes his hand and they walk around the scaffold)

Kuwabara: That jerk! Why's he holding Yukina's hand?!!

Hiei: (blandly) `Cause I let him.

Botan: Hiei, stop messing with your sister's love life. I'm not sure she's ready for one yet.

Hiei: Hn.

The two ice demons pause near the center of the stage, looking off in one direction. Yukina looks out kindly, while Touya just appears stoic.

Yukina: All right you in there. Come on with your hands up. We won't hurt you.

Touya: (adds to her statement) Unless you try to hurt us. Then I might get a bit mad.

Kurama: (to Hiei, wearing a new outfit, one that looks suspiciously like Jin's [an: hey, it's Kurama without much of a shirt! Should I drool with the rest of you, or cover him up protectively? Hm.]) Just you watch this performance, partner.

Hiei: Aren't we supposed to be acting already?

Kurama: u.u Never mind. (walks over to the middle of the stage) Touya, put that peashooter down.

Touya: (slightly ticked) It's not a peashooter. It's an ice sword, okay?

Yukina: Oh, shucks, Touya. It's only Jin. And criminently! Get back to your patrol. On the double. Get! (says it all with a benevolent smile)

Touya: Uh, sure…(leaves in a bit of a daze)

Yukina: Poor Touya. He's always on edge. (goes back to scaffold)

Kurama: (tags along) Sheriff, why don't you just sit yourself down here kind of cozy-like?

Yukina: (brightly) Thanks, Kurama!

Kurama: Um, I'm Jin. o.o

Yukina: (thinks for a moment) You're accent's different.

Kurama: Uh, well, …righto? Just close your sleepy little eyeballs, mate.

Touya: That's Chu.

Kurama: (plaintive) It's the best I can do. (back to Yukina) Why don't you…let me loosen that belt?

Touya develops tick marks while Kuwabara jumps up, offended. Hiei begins glaring at his friend.

Kuwabara: You get away from her, Kurama!

Yusuke: (rolls eyes) Man, Kurama, I mean, I know you're used to girls throwing themselves on you, but could you at least refrain from approaching already taken ones?

Hiei quickly moves to stand between Kurama and Botan, while the fox demon sighs.

Kurama: I'm just following the script. Originally, it's between two guys, so let's hope there wasn't anything meant by that.

Kuwabara: I've got my eye on you!

Yukina: Don't worry, Kurama, I believe you. I think I'll hang on to my belt, though.

Kurama: It's Jin. There's no Kurama here. o.o

Yukina: Okay, Kurama.

Kurama: (sweatdrop) Hm. (decides it's worthless and moves on) Rock-a-bye Sheriff, just you relax. (begins singing a lullaby)

Yukina: That's nice. Did your mother sing it to you?

Kurama: (nods, smiling happily) Yep. I used to ask for it every night. How about you?

Yukina: Oh yes! I used to listen to her singing when she did the laundry too.

Yusuke: (calls out) As interesting as this is, do you think you can remember what you're doing?!

Kurama: (closes eyes sadly) Very well. Do you think you can let us in the cell, Yukina?

Yukina: Sure!

Koenma: Yukina, you're not supposed to do that!

Yukina: Well, they're going to get in anyway, so I just thought I'd make it easier.

Koenma: (sighs) Whatever.

Kurama: Thanks.

Yukina uses a cardboard key on the door, then pushes the grate open. Hiei and Kurama step inside. Flyr seems to have disappeared, but Genkai and Toguro are still raptly involved in their card game, Go Fish this time.

Toguro: (not looking up) Little Hiei. It can't be. Got any twos?

Hiei: (twitches) I'll hate you for life, Kurama, for that nickname.

Genkai: (with relish) Go fish! (looks up at Kurama) Go away. I'm winning.

Kurama: (sweatdrop)

Hiei: (rolls eyes) Tough luck. We're busting you out.

Youko: (internally) Okay, I went along with this! When do I get to steal stuff?

Kurama: (sighs) Hiei, I'm leaving you in control of Genkai and Toguro. I've got to go "appease" Youko.

Hiei: Whatever. But you're taking me to K-mart tomorrow.

Kurama: No.

Hiei: Hn.

Kurama: (exasperated) What's with K-mart, anyways?

Botan: (looks guilty) Ah, I'm afraid I said they had good pillows, almost as nice as Genkai's.

Yusuke: …Hiei wants to steal pillows?! Does he even use them?

Hiei: Hn.

Everyone: ô.o

Botan: (thoughtful) Well, I also mentioned their Martha Stewart sheets and stuff, along with a pretty good selection of facial cleansers.

Yusuke: …yeah, he's after pillows.

Kurama: Well, I'm off. You wait here, Hiei.

With a reluctant sigh, Kurama twitches purposefully, his eyes going golden and beginning to gleam. He lets out a few dark chuckles as he runs across the stage and begins rummaging through things. Bags of candy begin building up on the floor as he casually tosses them over his shoulder. He gets more and more frustrated as nothing with the words "golden" or "valuable" in its description appears. With a growl, he glares back at the candy, then stops as he gets a sudden idea. He swoops back down, neatly scooping up all of the bags, then turns to Koenma.

Kurama: (as Youko) I'm holding your candy ransom! Pay me or I'm giving it to Yusuke!

Yusuke: Yes! Don't pay!! Mine!!

Koenma: (struggling against himself) Nooooo! Chibi form!!! Must have…the candy!! No, can't pay that much! Dad will kill me!! But……………………….CANDY!!! (hands reach out grabbingly) Name your price.

Kurama: (as Youko; smirks) That's more like it. Okay, I want it's weight in gold. Nice big bars, deposited into my account in Switzerland, number 2.

Botan: (eyes big) Number 2?!! How old is that account?!!

Kurama: (as Youko; pauses) Well, I made it before I met Kuronue, so that would be, um, (stops) …I don't know.

Keiko: Wow. That's old.

Kurama: (as Youko; quickly) But I'm still good looking!! Oh, yeah, I've still got it! Those ladies are still flocking!

Yusuke: (looks over with suspicion) …I think I know who might really be in trouble.

Youko watches as onis come out and carefully weigh his coveted stash. He happily counts with them, pressing his thumb almost unnoticeably on the candy side of the scale, adding to the pounds. Hiei just looks away, planning to confront him later for his share of the cash. Youko waits until Koenma signs the IOU in full view, then easily parts with his candy hoard. Yusuke watches it go in sorrow.

Kurama: (as Youko) Okay, I'm satisfied. (shakes)

Hiei: (angry at being left out) Done now?

Kurama: Uh, yeah…let's get these people out of here. (looks outside) Okay, Yukina, we're done here.

Yukina: That's good! (opens door)

Genkai: (lays down her final pair) That's it! I've done it! How much have you got Toguro?

Toguro: …one.

Genkai: Yes! I am the champion!! I'm so cool!!

Yusuke: (rolls eyes) Oh yes, bow down to the mad Go Fish skillz.

Genkai: (glares) Shut up, dimwit! That's another day on the stairs!

Yusuke: Argh! The last one almost killed me!!

Genkai: (shrugs) Too bad. It was your fault.

Hiei: (glaring) Are we ready to go?

Genkai: Yeah, yeah. Stop freaking out. Your hair is already showing the strain.

Kurama: (stifles chuckles)

Hiei: (looks at her funny) Hn.

The four stroll out of the cell, Genkai waving goodbye to Yukina. Koenma looks depressed at having another ending go to pot.

Koenma: Please, PLEASE, can you do this one right? I'm not asking much, am I?

Kurama: (shrugs) I'm fine with it, but it's up to the others.

He looks purposefully at Yukina, who is still wearing her bright smile. She nods and he approaches, taking out his whip, making sure its thorn-less and very short. She digs through her kimono and finds the one she used at the tournament. With a sigh, he throws it out softly, purposefully missing. Yukina's face goes serious as she makes the effort to hit him, dropping her whip once again. Kuwabara looks on, outraged.

Kuwabara: Kurama! What are you doing to my herbal honey?! My soothing spiritual scented candle?!

Botan: That…was terrible. Hey! Hold on! Where are you going?!

Kuwabara rushes out on stage, grabbing his spirit sword and turning to face down Kurama. With a growl, Hiei flashes over to his katana, then in front of his sister, looking angrily at the baka. Touya, for lack of any thing better to do, joins them holding his ice sword [an: not a peashooter!], much to the excited whoops of Jin and Flyr, who have suddenly appeared on stage.

Kurama: Look, I'm not going to hurt her. It's in the script.

Kuwabara: Shut up, you!! I know you've got weird intentions towards my peppermint patty! My Neapolitan ice cream treat!

Hiei: Hn. I don't have anything against You, fox, but this glaringly stupid orangutan is starting to annoy me.

Kuwabara: …hey, do you mean me?!!

Touya: (sighs) Who else? (turns to Kurama) Do you think I might have a rematch?

Kurama: (looking hard pressed) Some other time? I really don't think I can handle that now.

Touya: (shrugs) That's fine. Just call me when you're ready. (walks over to Yukina) Do you think you've had enough of fighting Kurama?

Yukina: Yep! I'm done! (walks off with Touya)

Kuwabara: What?!! Hey!! What happened there?!

Hiei: It's called paying more attention to the fight than the girl, baka. [an: yeah, I'm bashing Kuwabara, but I've been pretty nice for the rest of it, so let me have some fun.]

Yukina: So, are you coming back for the next play?

Touya: (sighs, then nods) We've already signed a contract.

Kuwabara: (crying) No! Competition!!

Yusuke: Ah, you know she doesn't really get it anyway. (shocked as Kuwabara glares at him) Oh! I guess you didn't! Well, then…hm.

Koenma: (sighs) Maybe we'd just better finish this off.

Flyr: Yes!!!! I finally have lines again!!! Watch me go!! (coughs) Ahem. Ha, ha, ha. I thought we'd never get rid of those three rascals but lucky for us folks, King Richard returned and well he just straightened everything out.

Everyone: ……

Yusuke: Who is this Richard dude anyway? We've been talking about him during the whole play. He's got quite a rep. Sounds like a miracle worker.

Flyr: Um, I don't know…and I really don't care. So…cue the church bells!!

George: (whacks a gong)

Flyr: …close enough!! (pauses) Though does that bode well for their relationship? (shakes head) Anyways, say, we'd better get over the church, it sounds like somebody's getting hitched.

Spotlights suddenly flash around the stage. They wobble for a few moments, as the onis gain control of them in the rafters, then illuminate Kurama and Keiko, who share similar looks of shock and surprise. Yusuke has gone back to glaring.

Yusuke: Hey!! What's going on here?!!

Flyr: (with an evil smile) Go on, Kurama. Kiss the girl. [an: was that Little Mermaid influence? Shudders]

Yusuke: No way!!

Kurama: I refuse.

Keiko: (to Flyr) Just who's side are you on, anyway?!!

Sakyo: (to Toguro) Oh, Friar Toguro. It appears that I have an outlaw for an in-law. Ha, ha, ha.

Everyone: (horror)

Kuwabara: Didn't you die?

Sakyo: (shrugs) Aren't they dead? (points to Toguro and Genkai)

Koenma: How did you get in here?!! I thought we had a deal!!

Sakyo: Oh, hush. I didn't put a portal to Ningenkai, only Renkai.

Koenma: WHAT?!!

Sakyo: Boy, you're easy to joke with.

Koenma: (huffing) Get….out.

Sakyo: (calmly) Not yet.

Yusuke: (thinking) Hang on, how does he have an outlaw for an inlaw? (looks at Keiko) That means…(turns to Kurama) You can have her!! I don't want to be related to him!!

Keiko: (KOs Yusuke) You JERK!!

Kurama: (sighs) Well, at least that's settled.

Toguro: (nodding at Keiko's punch) Not bad.

Sakyo: So, Keiko, ever think about joining a tournament?

Keiko: (veins popping with freaky aura) That's it, Koenma!! We're done!! Send me home, NOW!!!

Koenma: (cowering) Ri-ight…(pushes portal button) See you later?

Keiko grabs Yusuke and pulls him into the portal, both of them disappearing. Yukina follows happily, along with Hiei, Botan, and a worried Kuwabara, who shoots glares at Touya, still sitting calmly on the scaffold. After a large sigh, that caps all of his many exhalations during this play, Kurama finishes the group. The portal closes behind them.

Sakyo: Okay, I think I can go now. See you around, Toguro, Koenma. (walks off calmly)

Genkai and Toguro, deep in a conversation about Rummy, return to their side room. Flyr looks around confused.

Flyr: Guess I'll just finish it off then, huh?

Crickets: (chirp, then fall silent also)

Flyr: …thanks for the support. Well, folks, that's the way it really happened.

Jin: (claps wildly and whistles) Yeah!! That's me girl!!

Flyr smiles and bows for her only involved audience member. She opens a portal and stuffs both Jin and Touya inside, ignoring Touya's wildly waving arms. Then she too disappears.

Koenma is left talking to George, his mind already off the play and onto the amount of onis killed in this production. It seems that there will have to be mass hiring in Renkai before the next play can begin…[an: Mwahahaha!]

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After bidding goodbye to his friends, Kurama tries to readjust himself to real life, heading for the carpeting store to replace the burnt spot in his mother's floor, with Youko singing happily in the back of his head, anticipating robbing Home Depot blind.

[an: And that is the end of Kurama Hood! It's finished!! Yay!! (does happy dance) Now I am ready to move on to my last Disney parody!! Should I tell you what it is? (eyes go speculative) Well…I will tell you it is my third favorite movie, how's that? (grins) If you guess it, you're pretty good! Anyways, stick around!! I've still got more to do!! Youko: I'm stealing things!! Yes!! Author: Uh…. Youko: Oooo! A gold shower head!! And some silver power tools!! They're mine!! Author: Riiighht. Never take Youko shopping…]