Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction ❯ Worst Mission EVER ❯ ...we're all gonna scream... ( Chapter 2 )

Worst Mission EVER

 

Ch2 …we're all gonna scream….

 

Mize had enjoyed a lovely 12-minute shower, her longest ever (not including the time she broke her wrist and wasn't allowed to sponge-bathe); now she wanted to see more of the compound. There was just one minor problem.

No clothes.

Wrapping the towel around her, she checked the hall - empty - and then looked towards the main concentration of noise, a TV room a few yards to her left. Since it looked like most of the building's inhabitants were gathered there, she dashed off in the opposite direction.

 

Amidst the quiet conversation, one person realized the change in the quality of sound.

“'ey, Urameshi, ain't your friend done showering?”

Yusuke looked up. “I'd be surprised if she hadn't finished already, but that mud (in her hair) looked like it'd take a chisel to move, so maybe…”

“The water's been turned off.” Everyone turned to look at Toya. The tiny ninja glanced back to them. “And I thought I heard someone running down the hall a moment ago…”

Everybody got up and headed towards the bathroom. Sure enough, the door was wide open, steam rolling out in clouds, and lightly damp footprints headed in the opposite direction.

“Where could that little harpy have gone off to?” asked Suzuki, half interested, half rhetorical.

“Well,” Rinku said, rather reasonably, “she didn't bring any clothes with her into the bathroom, and nobody (Yukina) came by with some for her, so…”

Chu looked up. “Tha's fair brillian', li'l buddy!”

Shishiwakamaru sniffed. “But the laundry's not in that direction; the only things that lay that way are the kitchen, MY bathroom, and….”

Most of the Tournament Six paled: “OUR rooms!”

They all rushed down the hall (except for Chu, who was really too drunk to care, not that he would anyway…) after the disgruntled girl.

 

Mize was rather surprised - when she'd seen the overly decorated doors of the hall, she'd figured the rooms behind would match. But the room with all the flowers and stuff was Suzuki's (His name was spelled out on the door in flower stickers; she decided to mess with his stuff before turning him into goo.), and the room with lots of ninja-y stickers was mostly bare - the name on that one was TOYA.

`Maybe they decorated each other's? Might have been part of some stupid ice-breaking exercise…'

She'd been even more surprised when she'd taken a REALLY good look around Suzuki's room. She'd looked them all over before she started; Toya's was neat and organized, more like a hotel room. Shishiwakamaru's had a futon and sword rack (above the futon. Erk…) laid neatly on one side - the other was crammed with a moldering pile of fan mail, books he'd obviously tired of in the middle, and some crude but disturbingly accurate sketches of the (nude) female body.

Chu's - at least, she thought that was the name, but it'd been spelled quite messily with beer bottle stickers - held mainly old alcohol containers, a booze-stained Playboy that'd never been opened, and a neatly arranged (obviously done by someone else) group of photos on a chest of drawers, mainly of that guy with the blue Mohawk and the kid who'd fallen for her. After a few moments of eyeballing the place (no way was she going in - no shoes and broken glass everywhere), she found the bed - under a huge pyramid of booze bottles.

The fourth room, Jin's, was almost equally messy, but less dark and gloomy than Chu's, probably due to the window. Instead of beer bottles, however, most of the mess was of manga and the last few months' Shonen Jumps. The closet lay partly open, revealing a few sets of clothes - calling them outfits would be a crime - and, hidden partly behind a shirt, a few photos hung on the wall. She hadn't entered, so she had no idea who they featured.

The fifth room was Rinku's - it was somewhat less messy that the last two, mainly because the mess had had to flow around the TV and the set of drawers it was perched on across from the bed (so he could sit on the foot and watch). A VCR/DVD Player sat under it - a game system sat next to the TV, almost lost under all the game cartridges.

The floor-based mess was similar to Jin's - manga (though mostly not ecchi ones like Jin had) and Shonen Jumps. He probably traded with Jin. What wasn't graphic novels and toys was just a vague, pulsating mess - it wasn't, as such, made up of things as it was more coexisting in a place that met certain criteria.

As she returned to Suzuki's, she realized that someone, with a silver Sharpie and drunken care, had scrawled `The Beautiful' on the first flower sticker of his name.

Suzuki's room was almost obsessively neat, as if he would be less beautiful in ugly surroundings. In fact, he'd probably spend all the next day re-organizing because she'd entered.

There was a bed (Western style), but, unlike the other rooms, wasn't the cheap motel bed, but a divine box-sprung monster with a feather mattress pad and 1,000-thread-count Egyptian cotton sheets. There was a tidy bookshelf across the room; next to it was a rather out-of-place workbench - though kept clean when out of use, it was obvious it was the most trafficked part of the room…except for maybe the closet.

Noting the experiment stains on the floor by the bench, she slid open the closet - horizontal wooden slats, rather large and somewhat rough-looking, like in every room - and discovered just how whacked [The Beautiful] Suzuki really was.

 

“Okay, WHERE IS SHE?!”

The search for Mize had led them all over the compound, but - to Suzuki's HORROR - had brought them too late to the rooms. They'd trudged back to the TV room ten minutes later….

…and found her perched on the back of the couch.

In Suzuki's clothes.

Ignoring (or being amused by) the narcissist's wail of terror, they all stared at her. Then R inku popped up on the back of the couch next to her, looking at the paper in her hands. “What'cha got there?”

Mize glanced up and grinned. “Shishiwakamaru's fan mail.”

Now Shishi looked worried. “Um, what?! Did you really go into my room, root through my private stuff-”

“Some things more private than others, hmm, Mr. Wannabe Artist?”

He flamed red. Toya stepped in and smoothly took over the conversation. “Why did you go through our rooms?”

She flipped a letter over her shoulder - onto an already rather large pile on the couch, he noted - and answered with a grin, “I was bored. And a bit pissed about the whole trek-over-hill-and-dale-to-get-here bit. Plus, the best way to get to know someone is to look through their stuff….And, anyway, I needed clothes.”

“Why take Suzuki's? It looks a bit large on ya, missy.” Jin thrust his eager face around Toya's shoulder to address her.

She smiled. “1) I figured I'd humiliate him a bit before liquefying him. 2) His was the only room that was both safe enough to step barefoot into and odd enough to contain anything that might fit me. And, 3) - we have the same shoe size!” She wiggled her foot around excitedly before going back to the letters. “Hmm…a lot of these girls seem to like the idea of Suzuki and Shishiwakamaru together…”

Heads snapped around. “WHAT?!”

She went on, faking obliviousness. “This one pairs Shishi and Toya….this one Shishi and Jin….oh, hey, this one has Shishi AND Toya AND Jin.” She flipped to the next page, then started turning it in around in her hand. “They even provided helpful diagrams…hmm... I know demon anatomy is different from human, but I'm pretty sure THAT isn't physically possible in this world or any other…”

Shishi made a flying leap and snatched the papers out of her hands. Unfortunately (for him), she'd been trained by Yusuke to pick pockets.

“'Dearest Shishiwakamaru, I hope you are well. Blah blah blah, blah blah blah, hope to see you in the Tournament circuit again…' Next! Hmm… `My darling blue haired samurai, I fear to voice such a terrible thing, but - alas! - I have heard terrible rumors about how …attached….you are to your team captain. Please, dearest, send to me correspondence denying this terrible thing! Yours truly…' …what a waste of paper. She's being all old-timey and yet the paper's got all these little robots embellished on it. Why can't these girls come out and say what they want? Oh, this one does: `Hey, blue-hair, I'll be waiting for you…in order to….ummmmm….'…”

She dropped the paper like it had been set on fire in her hand, her face greened. Rinku ran forward to snatch it up, but Chu (who had never left the room and regarded Mize as yet another drunken hallucination) picked him up in one hand and all the other letters in another.

Jin's attention had been caught by something else. “You know we're…?”

She gave him a Look. “Hmm, let's see…I spent almost seven hours in that godforsaken, vermin-demon-infested forest, then trudged through a swamp filled with the distraught ghosts of long ago battles, then end up in a compound with three guys with natural blue hair, and one who has pointy ears, a fang, and a little horn on his head…no, of COURSE I don't know that you're demons!”

She would have followed up on this, but Yukina had joined them - with Mize's clothes in hand. “Oh, miss, I'd thought you didn't have….aren't those Suzuki-san's clothes?”

“Yeah, but -” she grabbed Suzuki, who'd just stopped spasming on the floor, with one arm in a friendly gesture “- he was kind enough to lend them to me, for the time being.” `Go on, make my day - try to contradict me.'

Suzuki knew he was beat, and had the sense to go down with dignity - though not completely without spite. “Yeah, I figured, even though they're a bit big for her, her being so short and all, that it wouldn't hurt to lend her a set.”

Yukina smiled and chattered and generally was polite, until Mize finally took the clothes - and started to strip.

“M-miss?!” She looked up into the shocked faces of bystanders, then started to do her best kyaa-perverts! impression, getting the six kicked out of the room in seconds. The hidden door was slid shut - then they realized that THEY'D gotten kicked out a public room where SHE'D just decided to change!

Suzuki'd had enough. He charged into the room - only to get a nice eyeful. She winked, then kicked him out again. It wasn't hard, considering he'd been stunned completely still.

“I guess that's your repayment for the towel incident,” she called through the door. “I see you, you see me.”

Shishi stood at the door, fist raised. “What about us?” he asked, both angry and smug, “Don't we get something to chase that horrible memory out?”

Mize just laughed. Rinku took the opportunity to sneak in, then, totally in little-kid-mode, asked innocent-sounding questions about the process of female dressing. All the guys (except for Yusuke and Kuwabara, who had evicted well before she'd started to change; they've known her for a while; and Toya, who is, well, Toya) were pressed flat on the door mostly thinking the same thing - lucky little b*stard!

 

 

I would just, as a closer to this chapter, like to point out that I do not usually swear, IRL or in my fics. However, I feel that some of the words could not be replaced or censored and still have the same impact. If you disagree or have spotted a typo or discrepancy, please email me.