Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction ❯ Yesterday ❯ Yesterday ( One-Shot )

Disclaimer: I own nothing Yuu Yuu Hakusho related except for about seven tapes of English dubs, four DVDs, and one wall scroll. I own nothing related to The Beatles.

Summary:

Focus: Yuusuke

POV: Yuusuke

Pairings: YuusukexKeiko [already established before the start of the story]

Baseline Plot: Becoming Raizen's heir is starting to get to Yuusuke, and he's having some troubles balancing his new life in Makai with his old life in Ningenkai. And, of course, how in hell is he going to fit Keiko into all this?

Note: This is rather more soul-bearing than I suspect Yuusuke would ever actually do.

Note: I don't actually know what happened to Yuusuke and Keiko's relationship at the end of the series, so this might be AU. I don't know.

Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away

Now it looks as though they're here to stay

Oh, I believe in yesterday.

* * * * *

Yeah, sure. I've got it good. A lot of people would say that, and a lot of people would be right.

But a lot more people would be wrong.

For once in my life, I have real responsibilities. Responsibilities that could affect more people than I can count. I never thought I would have to deal with this - yesterday, I was just fighting for my life, but I've done that so many times before, it doesn't matter anymore. I never thought I would ever have to take responsibility for so many people's lives, for such a long time.

Yeah, sure, being a Reikai Tantei means being accountable for so many people's lives, but that would never last. What I mean is I knew that would end someday, so that was alright. I could handle that. But this...

But this, this is so much longer. This is forever. I can't just abandon all these people, I can't just run out on them all. For one thing, it's cowardly, it's weak, to run just because I feel too responsible. For another, it would mean passing all this liability, all this... all this job onto someone else, and that would just be wrong. Giving this pressure to someone else because I couldn't deal.

But my home, my home is lost somewhere in yesterday...

* * * * *

Suddenly, I'm not half to man I used to be,

There's a shadow hanging over me.

Oh, yesterday came suddenly.

* * * * *

All of a sudden, I'm bombarded with all this - all this... I don't even know! All this work, all these jobs, all this influence, all this shit! And the hardest part, you know? The hardest part is that I think somewhere, I lost something, and I'm a smaller person than I used to be. This all came so fast, I don't... I can't say it. I can't say that I don't know what to do, because I have to know, or Raizen never would have chosen me.

But the darkness hovering over my very soul, the pain, the doubt, the uncertainty, the - just the fact that I'm so very unready for it all.

You know what? I'm not the man I used to be.

But you know what else?... I don't know what I am anymore.

* * * * *

Why she had to go I don't know she wouldn't say.

I said something wrong, now I long for yesterday.

Yesterday, love was such an easy game to play.

* * * * *

And Keiko... oh, Keiko, the gods know what I'm going to do about her. She knows I had an obligation to take over for Raizen, to take my place as his heir, and I thought she was okay with that. But... but what if she isn't? What if it's all just a front, what if she breaks down when I'm not around and just wants to kill me? Wants me gone?

I honestly don't think I could handle that.

But what did I do wrong? Where did this all fall into an endless pit of nothing ever going right? What did I say? What did I do?

What does she want from me?

* * * * *

Now I need a place to hide away.

Oh, I believe in yesterday.

Why she had to go I don't know she wouldn't say.

* * * * *

I want yesterday again. Sure, part of me wants to stay, to carry out Raizen's work, to take my place as one of the rulers of Makai, but part of me wants yesterday. Part of me wants to live in Ningenkai with my mother, wants to cut class, wants to be called off on missions with my friends, wants to be a Reikai Tantei forever and just lock the world in place and never have anything change.

What do I want? Really?

I want a place to hide.

I want a place to hide away, where I'll never have to deal with politics, never have to deal with Mukuro, never have to deal with a political Hiei, never have to deal with Yomi, never have to deal with Yomi's heir, never have to deal with operating Makai. I want to keep order in Japan and Makai, but I want to do it the ways I'm good at. Through fighting, and missions, and easy crap like that.

I want to go back to yesterday.

* * * * *

I said something wrong, now I long for yesterday.

Yesterday, love was such an easy game to play.

Now I need a place to hide away.

Oh, I believe in yesterday.

* * * * *

I just want to say something before I go.

I don't want to be here, but someday, I may. Someday, this will all be the most natural thing in the world to me. Someday, I'll wonder how I ever got along without it.

I don't know whether or not I want that.

Keiko, no matter what happens to me, no matter what happens to you, I love you, and I always will.

Kuwabara, Kurama, Hiei, you'll always be my best friends.

Kuwabara, you're the best friend I've ever had, and one day, one day we'll have that match you've always wanted, and one day, I'll fight you for real, and it'll be fair.

Kurama, you're the smartest guy I know, and I'll always respect your choice to lose Youko and live forever in Ningenkai with your family.

Hiei, I've always respected you as a fighter, and now I respect you not only as a fighter, but as a ruler of Makai, as an heir to Mukuro's throne, and I hope, I really hope, that we'll always stay friends throughout this political crap.

I'm not even half the man I used to be, and you guys, all of you, Kuwabara, Kurama, Hiei, Keiko, you've all stood by me through it all, and thanks for that - thanks more than you'll ever know.

All I can say now is, someday is gonna come, and I've just gotta be ready for it. Whether I want it or not, someday is gonna come.

Someday, maybe someday...

I'll know who I am, and I'll know what I want, and you'll all be there for me.

Thank you.