Zone Of The Enders Fan Fiction ❯ Zone of the Enders: Triad 2177 ❯ Samurai 2000 ( Chapter 20 )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

Miryhn meets the most demented otaku on Mars, with disasterous results.

Also, the ASSHOLES mobilize against the illegal downloading of music!

Non Anime: Zone Of The Enders Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Sci-fi / Romance / Mecha / Comedy / Adventure / Action / Angst | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 01.23.2004 | Updated On: 01.27.2004 | Pages: 8 | Words: 10.1K | Visits: 200 | Status: Completed

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<CENTER>"Never compete with an idiot. They drag you down to their level, then beat you with experience." - Unknown</CENTER>

<CENTER>-----------------------------</CENTE R>

He slowly walked across the bridge, cherry blossoms blowing like a snowstorm around him. He kept his head low, his light blonde bangs keeping his eyes in shadows within his face. He adjusted his light red robe a bit, keeping the white skirt-like clothing around his waist tight. His one-toed socks and sandles shuffled through the gathering cherry blossoms as he slowly walked. At his side were two katanas, kept firm at his right side under his white cloth belt. He was a rurouni, a wandering samurai, and he was trying to find his way.

"Sir, are you a patron here at the hotel?" a female asked from behind him.

The rurouni stopped, pausing for a long period of time to build the tension. "I belong to nowhere in particular. I am...a wanderer," he said in a low, raspy tone.

"Then I'll have to ask you to leave the Japanese Garden section. In fact, I'll have to ask you to leave the hotel unless you're staying here," the female, a desk clerk there at the hotel, said firmly.

"You mean to take me in and then throw me out so callously, woman? You obviously haven't seen the wrath of a man, scorn to the deepest depths of his soul, and the power and skill he can wield in battle because of it," the rurouni replied.

"What are you talking about?" the woman asked, completely puzzled.

"Nevermind, I'll leave. I can understand how you wouldn't want the violence and bloodshed that follow me every single day of my life near you," the rurouni said, starting for the door marked "Exit".

"Wait, not that door!" the clerk shouted a split second before the rurouni pressed it open.

He pressed it open and took one step into the doorway before the sprinkler system went off and the fire alarm began to howl. He froze, flinching at his mistake. From behind, he could hear someone loudly clear their throat. Turning around with a cheesey smile on his face, the rurouni met eyes with the burlesque owner of the hotel. He folded his arms, his suit soaked from the sprinklers, and gave the rurouni a furious glare.

"My mistake, I beg your forgiveness," the rurouni sincerely apologized, bowing.

The owner raised an eyebrow. "What is your name, sir? I'll see to it that you never set foot in one of my hotels again," he demanded.

"Tonchiki*, Musashi. Or, for you you more English-inclined, Musashi Tonchiki," the rurouni said, standing up and giving the owner a smooth, teethy smile.

"Well, Mister Tonchiki, I'm giving you three seconds to get the hell out of my hotel before I call the cops," the owner commanded.

"I'd prefer it if you called me Tonchiki-san," Musashi pointed out, raising his index finger.

"Go!" the owner screamed as loud as he could.

"So be it, I won't trouble you with my problems anymore. I'll be on my way, where perhaps someday I can settle my sins of the past and find a way to be happy once again. You have to understand, I-" Musashi said, pouring on the melodrama.

"Would you shut the fuck up and get out?" the owner commanded.

At that, Musashi bolted out the emergency exit he just opened.

The owner looked at the clerk, the clerk staring back at him. "God only knows what causes morons like that to exist. He needs to get in touch with reality, this isn't Medieval Japan," the owner said, sighing. Both the owner and the clerk stood there, the sprinklers continuing to pour down on them and the fire alarm causing scared patrons to flood out of the building.

"Sir, shouldn't we do something about the fire alarm? I can hear the sirens," the clerk asked innocently.

"Oh, yes, that. Let's get on it," the owner said, starting for the lobby.

In the minutes after the fire department arrived at the building, making their way through a crowd of distressed hotel patrons, they could have sworn they saw a samurai riding down the street on horseback as fast as possible in a direction away from the building. One commented that he had to "lay off the pills", he was "see'in shit".

<CENTER>-----------------------------</CENTE R>

Sitting back down, mind heavy by Ricdeau's words, Miryhn settled into the couch and took a long swig of his bottle of Yoo-Hoo.

"So why were you gone so long?" Judas asked, sitting patiently in his chair.

Miryhn suddenly turned his head in Judas's direction; he had completely forgotten he was there. "Oh, sorry, Doc Ricdeau was here. I had a long chat with him," he explained, smiling a little.

"What? Why didn't you tell me? I've always wanted to talk to him again!" Judas cried out.

"To be honest, I forgot you were here," Miryhn said, chuckling nervously as he grabbed the PS3K controller.

Judas would have loved to pull a giant anime hammer out of nowhere right about them and club Miryhn over the head. Instead, he just sighed and leaned his head back.

"So why is he here?" Jim's voice said from the doorway.

Miryhn and Judas both looked to the door, Jim standing there with several bags in hand.

"Oh, you'll have to excuse my barging in on your ship, sir. I'm Judas Ipson and I've come here seeking...employment. Yes, employment, that's it!" Judas said, leaping out of his chair and hurrying over to Jim. He raised his right hand for a handshake.

Jim looked down at his hand and then at his own right hand which was trying to keep the paper bag in his grip. He flipped it out, keeping his wrist on the bag, and rocked his body up and down as the two shook hands. "Well, at the moment, that depends. How much you want?"

Judas's face lit up. "I'll do anything you want for free, just as long as I can stay on this ship!"

Jim nearly had a heart attack. He dropped all of his bags on the floor, ivory polish and wood restoring items spilling out; obviously he was looking to restore his piano to near mint condition. He then embraced Judas in a bear hug, looking upwards. "Oh, thank you God! I knew you'd eventually send me someone that doesn't leech off me all the time."

Miryhn ignored the comment; instead, he had Fred hack up a burly man with a slight beard in the game with a katana.

Judas mumbled from Jim's chest and tried to squirm out of his grip in a feeble attempt. Jim let go of him, laughing.

"Oh, sorry, son. You just have to understand, honest, hard-working, young men like you are rare to find. All I've ever met are young men who think money grows on trees and never do any work," Jim said, patting Judas's head like he was his own son.

Miryhn drew an angry look, having Fred steal a car and run over the bearded man's corpse a couple of times.

"So what can you do? What's your profession?" Jim said, smiling brightly.

"Well, I'm good with weaponry..." Judas said sheepishly.

"Good enough!" Jim shouted, patting Judas on the shoulder. "But for now, you can be my official...bag carrier! Yeah! You can carry those bags for me and when we get downstairs, you can be my official...piano washing person, yes! I'll sit in my chair and smoke and read my porn mag and you can use this crap on my piano!" Jim said proudly as he marched down the hallway.

"If you say so, sir," Judas said, gathering up the dropped bags and items.

"Jude, seriously, don't pander to him. You're only going to get overworked," Miryhn said, sighing.

"As long as I stay here, I can keep an eye on you, so I'll do anything to hold employment on this ship," Judas declared. He then staggered off down the hallway.

"Can't say I didn't warn him," Miryhn said with a shrug.

<CENTER>-----------------------------</CENTE R>

Two days passed and Judas had settled into Entropy quite nicely. He had taken up sleep quarters on top of the kitchen table; he insisted on this so that he could be up as early as the earlier member of the crew was so he could get to work. He spent most of his time wandering around the ship, looking for things to do or for someone to help. He came in handy when Miryhn was sent grocery shopping; he pushed the basket, insisted on bagging, and carried every single thing in and told Miryhn not to worry about it at all. He grabbed tools for Nash, thought out the finances in his head for Vera, and basically kept everything running as smoothly as he possibly could.

Jim was so happy, he could cry waterfalls. "Jude" was truly a blessing upon the ship.

At night, though, Miryhn noticed that Judas would often read through books on strategy; everything from war tactics to chess tricks, if it involved conflict, he was looking into it. Oftentimes when Miryhn would take a break from progress in "Vicilia County" at night, he'd see Judas sitting on the table with the dim light overhead with a book in his lap. He'd start to get up as Miryhn would enter, but Miryhn would always insist that getting a drink or a bag of a snack was no big deal and he should just stay up. Judas would always make sure, Miryhn would always confirm it.

It wasn't so much annoying as it was that Judas didn't have any restraint. Miryhn often wondered where he got the kind of energy he did to do nothing but be a "Hey, what 'cha doing? Can I help?" person all damn day. The big stuff was obvious; he was needed then. However, if it was the simple task of, for example, making a microwavable dinner, oftentimes it was just him worrying over nothing. Eventually, Miryhn stood, staring him straight in the eye, and simply said "Dude, it's call 'EasyMac' for a reason, alright?" Judas stared at him blankly, then ran for a spoon. Miryhn sighed, accepted the spoon and proceeded to eat.

Then again, maybe it was one of those 'mixed' blessings...

<CENTER>-----------------------------</CENTE R>

"It's nice to call freelancing the most liberating and constantly financially secure profession around, but when nobody needs you around for anything, the latter part of that description doesn't quite fit," Jim said, his hand holding a cigarette in his lips as he puffed at it in small bits. "And when that happens, you start looking for ways to make some quick cash," he continued, talking to no one in particular but himself. "After all, I can't run things around here with no credits burning a hole in my pocket."

Hopping off his chair in the bridge, Jim ventured upstairs to the lounge where Vera was sitting there in her bathrobe watching the TV.

"Our top story today: the R.I.A.S.S., or, Recording Industry Association of the Solar System today has recently geared up the A.S.S.H.O.L.E.S., or, the Association's Special Section for Helping Oversee Legal Extraction of Songs today in an effort to end the illegal piracy of music across the solar system. They claim that billions of credits are being neglected to the artists that rightfully deserve this money and are beginning their own mini-Terran Crusade to eliminate piracy groups situated within small ships in space. Experts say 'this is the most pointless thing they've ever done yet. It's an idle threat considering the fact that piracy in this day and age is pretty much unstoppable. Besides, didn't they try suing people a century or two back? That hardly worked', said one commentator," the anchorperson said on the midday HBC newsbreak. **

"Where is everyone?" Jim asked Vera.

"Miryhn went to the arcade. He said he was going to go buy his own DDR machine since he made twenty-five grand recently," Vera said, reaching around for the remote. "No idea where Nash or the new guy went."

Jim sputtered at the figure. "Twenty-five grand? Who'd he have sex with for that?"

"I dunno, he went and helped those oddballs in East Wind by himself. I'm telling you, Jim, those people pay good. I'm still waiting for my payment for the other day when I-" Vera began to say, flipping through channels.

"Wait, both you and Miryhn went out on your own and did jobs?" Jim asked, interrupting.

Vera nodded.

"Oy," Jim said, rolling his eyes. "Now what about a cut seeing as that wasn't-"

"What 'cut'?" Vera said aloud, her turn to interrupt. "I thought we agreed that from now on the Frames were ours and whatever we do with them is our own business, right?"

Jim sighed; he had forgotten that the verbal contract had been altered ever since they came back. "Alright, my mistake. Just do whatever, alright?" he said, about to walk out of the room.

"Holy shit! Claude came through!" Nash shouted, running into the room from the hallway.

Vera and Jim both looked at him, puzzled.

"My brother Claude promised me he'd try and get me on a TV show, preferably one of those question-and-answer game shows. He just sent me my pass to be on some show called 'Mars Extreme Elimination Struggle', better known simply as 'MXS'," Nash said, reading off the small plastic card.

Jim began laughing as hard as he could. "When do you go? I gotta see this!"

"Um, today. It's a live show," Nash replied.

Jim continued to laugh as hard as he could.

"Alright, I'll bite. What's so funny?" Vera asked, rolling her eyes.

"Nash here is going to get his ass handed to him. MXS is that stupid show with those guys in flamboyant shogun kimonos that host a bunch of really painful obstacle course-like challenges to the contestants," Jim said, standing between the two.

"Hey, there is absolutely nothing wrong with kimono," Vera pointed out.

Nash's face paled. "What? Really?"

"You bet! I'm not missing this for the world! Get your ass down there and we'll watch you plant your face in a rolling log or watch you plow into a wooden door or something a couple of times," Jim said, laughing as hard as he could.

Nash sighed, then left the room, grumbling about how he was going to take his three-inch wide headed wrench to the back of Claude's skull a couple of times.

Vera sighed, continuing to flip through the stations. Jim looked at her with a bright smile.

"Alright, come this afternoon, we're going to watch Nash get beat to shit on that show, okay? Trust me, it'll be great," Jim said, then giving a thumbs up and leaving.

"Hooray," Vera said, uninspired.

<CENTER>-----------------------------</CENTE R>

"'Every night I look at the sky...Call your name and wonder why...Every night I look at the sky...Make me miss you and want you to come back'," the DDR machine sang as Miryhn stepped on each directional arrow with almost uncanny accuracy. Around him, three kids cheered as he stood in place during a break in the song to push his sunglasses back up his nose. Just then, the catchy trance song came back on and he began stepping around with fancy spins and the occasional point to each side or a "wave" motion of his arms. His audience cheered with more spirit at this, hopping around the machine and waving for others to watch.

Across the arcade, there was a commotion in front of the "Ninja Rampage" shoot 'em up game.

"Sir, you stabbed the screen with your sword!" one of the employees complained.

"There was a ninja coming at me. What was I suppose to do?" Musashi replied, shrugging.

The employee growled and grabbed one of the plastic light guns. "You shoot them with this thing!" he shouted, shoving it in Musashi's face.

"No, sorry, I don't use guns. I had a very nasty past with guns and I don't touch them unless I absolutely have to. However, if the woman I care about happened to stick me with one and force me to use it..." Musashi said, rubbing his chin.

"What the hell are you talking about?" the employee shouted, extremely irritated.

"I'm simply trying to tell you I have lots of strange habits and ideals based off seemingly nonsensical aspects that only make sense to me," Musashi pointed out, folding his arms.

The employee stared at him and sneered. "Look, sir, stop going off on tangents and just hand over thirty-two hundred credits for this machine."

"That much? Sheesh, no dice, pal," Musashi said, smiling for some reason.

The employee glared.

"See, check this out, I use to be an assassin! Isn't that cool?" Musashi said, giggling. "But I left that life in order to pursue a more peaceful way of life away from that despicable and evil side of myself. I now wander around, collecting pieces of my past and just trying to get by, seeking redemption for my sins and personal injustices that sucked away my integrity," he added, putting in a note or two of melodrama.

"Look, if you keep that up, I'll have to call the cops. Can you pay or not?"

Musashi blinked, laughing. "Um, what were we talking about?"

The employee groaned, about to collapse on his face from how moronic this guy was acting. "The machine you broke!" he shouted, pointing to the arcade machine with the enormous stab mark in it.

"Oh, that, yes. See, I have a bad habit of loosing myself whenever my life is endangered and I tend to do things I inwardly brood about later," Musashi lamented.

"Please, sir, just tell me if you can or cannot pay for the damages," the employee begged.

"No, I can't," Musashi replied bluntly.

"Fine! Then I'll give you an invoice and you can pay later as long as you just get the hell out of here!" the employee said, scribbling something on a yellow piece of paper and handing it to Musashi.

Musashi sighed and took the paper, slipping it inside his robe. "Fine, for another day. Farewell," he said, turning and leaving.

"What an idiot!" the employee spouted to himself, returning to the break room for a nice smoke.

Miryhn was about halfway through the current stage when his audience suddenly all turned in one direction and began murmuring among themselves. Miryhn was a little mad at how all his attention was turned away, but he kept going anyway, attempting to enjoy himself anyway. Just then, someone from all the way across the arcade let out a hearty bellow, converting to a screaming warcry; the voice getting closer and closer. The kids all began screaming and ran away in terror as Miryhn felt the need to see what the hell was going on and turned away from the machine to the source of the noise. He saw Musashi, sword raised above his head, charging forward at full speed. Suddenly, he stopped halfway and his warcry died down as he leaned on his knees and panted a few times. Miryhn sloped his brow, lowering his sunglasses just to make sure he wasn't "see'in shit" just as Musashi caught his breath and began running forward again; his warcry starting back up again along with his sprint. Miryhn's eyes widened as Musashi approached and he leapt off the pad and over the back bar just as Musashi swung his sword into the machine. The pad fizzled and sparked as Musashi pulled his sword out of the machine and turned to Miryhn, who leapt to his feet and staggered back a few steps from the maniac.

"Dude! What the hell is your problem?" Miryhn said, panting from his narrow escape.

"Don't play games with me, villian!" Musashi shouted, pointing to Miryhn with his sword.

"'Villian'? Wha?" Miryhn exclaimed, puzzled.

"You can't fool me! Everybody knows that in anime the silver-haired, sword-carrying guy is always the horribly evil villian!" Musashi said, accusingly.

Miryhn was stunned; his jaw dropped in an attempt to reply, but could only say to himself,"Is this guy for real?"

"Planning your next move, huh, you malevolent do-er of bad deeds? I, Musashi Tonchiki, will put an end to your evil now!" Musashi said, raising his sword and doing a stance.

Miryhn stared, wide-eyed behind his sunglasses. He ducked as Musashi attempted to swipe ate him and then staggered back another step. "Hey, come on now, I don't have any quarrel with you, be civil now."

"Stop trying to talk your way out of this!" Musashi shouted.

"Talk my way out of what? I didn't do anything, you attacked me!" Miryhn shouted in reply with conviction.

Musashi sneered and stepped forward, swiping at him twice and doing an overhead slash. Miryhn deftly dodged and ducked behind a fighting game machine just as Muashi tried the overhead attack, planting his sword in the machine and breaking it instantly. Miryhn sighed from behind the now broken machine and removed his sunglasses.

"Look like only one way out of this," Miryhn said to himself, drawing his sword. Hearing Musashi chuckling as he crept around the machine, Miryhn swung and chopped into the corner of the machine to his right; the blade had stopped about half an inch from Musashi's face. Peeking around the corner, Miryhn saw Musashi staring at the blade with wide-eyes, looking he was about to wet himself.

Musashi growled and leapt back with a fancy backwards somersault. He landed and took another stance. "How dare you try such cheap tactics like going for the face!" he shouted with accusation.

"Oh, please, you tried to chop me when I had my back turned trying to dance," Miryhn said with a note of irritation as he stepped around the machine.

"Were you doing an evil dance?" Musashi said, smirking.

Miryhn groaned, flailing his arms with irritation. "I'm not evil! What the fuck is wrong with you?"

"Don't waste time, let's go!" Musashi shouted as he dashed forward, poised to strike.

Miryhn drew an angry look and parried, holding the block and pushing Musashi off and onto the air hockey table. Musashi rolled across and got hit in the head as a puck bounced off a wall and into him. He then whipped his body up and off the table, staggering around a moment before running at Miryhn again. The two of them backed down the space between the shooting games, swinging and blocking. FInally, Musashi let out a shout and with frightening speed, sent three horizontal cuts at Miryhn. Miryhn ducked the top, the middle nicked his arm, and the bottom grazed his abdomen as he sidestepped it. He hunched over a little bit as Musashi stood in a finished stance; for some reason, the arcade machine behind Miryhn suddenly exploded into three even sections: top, middle, and bottom. The pieces collapsed to the floor and Miryhn looked back, dumbstruck.

"Now you know the true power of Kenbu No Guretsu Suika!***" Musashi shouted, laughing as he stood normally.

"What was that technique? You're suppose to shout the name of it when you use it!" Miryhn said, glaring.

Musashi blinked and then shrugged. "Who cares? Shouting attack names in anime is repetetive and annoying."

"It's ancient custom! It originated from bushido!" Miryhn cried out.

"You're really beginning to bore me, villian. Why don't you attack? Come on!" Musashi said, readied for defense.

Miryhn's right eye twitched a few times and an evil smirk crawled up his mouth. "Alright, you want some? You got it!" he shouted as he twirled the sword one in his hand and held it reversed grip. He leapt forward and swung in a wide arc, colliding his sword with Musashi's defense-positioned one. Miryhn struck it at an odd angle and Musashi's hands felt the stinging vibration of metal meeting metal and his defensive stance wavered. After his sword ended the arc, Miryhn switched grips and took the handle with both hands, shouting as he knocked Musashi's sword away with an upward diagonal slash, then stepped forward and spun around once, cutting right across Musashi's chest. Musashi fell backwards and Miryhn screamed as he dashed forward and finished the fight with one mighty stab.

Several children in the arcade stared in surprise, unable to find words for what just happened. On the other side, Musashi was slowly pooling himself with urine as Miryhn stared into his face with a teethy grin. Musashi looked to his left and saw Miryhn's sword had plunged into the skee-ball machine he had fallen backward into, the blade so accurate that it clipped a few locks off the side of his head. Miryhn's expression then dropped back to a straight face and he yanked his sword out of the machine, sheathing it. Musashi could only stand against the machine and shudder repeatedly like an overly freaked-out anime character after someone just did a life-threatening move on them.

"I've had enough of you, I'm out of here," Miryhn said, digging out his sunglasses and heading for the door.

Musashi shook it off and stepped forward. "Oh yeah? Well, you're just a coward! You're just like all other anime villian swordsmen! You almost kill me and don't because you're confident I'll never beat you so you let me go to spite me!"

"I believe one of my favorite song quotes is in order here. Ahem, 'whateva''," Miryhn said, putting on his sunglasses and stopping momentarily to look back at Musashi.

"Wait, you're suppose to scoff at me and offer me a rematch if I can defeat your henchmen," Musashi said, puzzled.

Miryhn rolled his eyes. "As of now, I never want to see you again in my whole life, alright? Go back to whatever anime con they let ou out of, okay?"

Musashi sneered. "I'll have that rematch! I know you'll want to fight me again!"

"No, I won't," Miryhn said bluntly, beginning to leave again.

"You'll want to since I stopped you from putting your initials into the high score table!" Musashi said, pointing to the wrecked DDR machine.

Miryhn's sight suddenly shot back to the machine, watching the high score table scroll up. There, second from the top, was a gaping blank with Miryhn's score beside it. Of course, second highest high score wasn't the best, but it was still something!

"You...you..." Miryhn said, turning back to Musashi, boiling with anger.

"Rematch. In three hours at the Tharsis Cherry Blossom Garden," Musashi said, pointing to Miryhn.

"You are on, my friend!" Miryhn shouted, pointing back at him. Both stared at the other, pointing like in a psychokinesis battle, a lighting bolt probably manifest between their angry gazes.

"Your mind games won't work on me, villian! I'm out of here to go heal and meditate," Musashi said as a horse suddenly burst in through the back door and ran up beside him. Musashi mounted the horse and it reared back once. "Hi-ho, Iseika!**** Away!" he shouted as the horse then took off out of another door, him grabbing his sword as he departed.

Miryhn's angry look was then knocked back to a confused stare as he watched the horse barge in and take off with Musashi. "Hey, did he just...call that thing by remote control or...did he have someone send it in or...?" he said to a nearby kid who was staring along with him.

The kid shrugged and walked off. He was more intent on just forgetting about the whole thing.

"Musashi Tonchiki, what a fucking idiot," Miryhn said with a sigh, digging his hands into his pockets and shuffling off.

<CENTER>-----------------------------</CENTE R>

"Now, here's the challenge!" the announcer shouted. "The contestants of Team Two have to cross the obstacle course consisting of boulders rolling down the hill, a pit filled with live alligators, the rolling spike walls, the acid bath, and the final and most terrifying obstacle of all...the Pauly Shore classic 'Biodome' for more than two seconds!"

"I'm telling you, he was a samurai," Miryhn said as Vera dabbed a cotton swab with rubbing alcohol on his cut on his arm. He cringed a little but maintained an angry sneer.

"Uh-huh, right," Vera said with disbelief.

"Just admit you got cut like a bitch trying to do something you shouldn't have been doing," Jim said, eating popcorn out of a bowl as he watched "MXS" on TV.

"I'm not lying this time! I'm serious!" Miryhn said desperately.

"Okay, suppose a 'samurai' really did attack you. What was his problem with you?" Vera said, taking some gauze and dabbing the cut.

"He said I was 'a villian' and I was planning something horribly evil and he had to stop me," Miryhn said, rolling his eyes.

"What was his reasoning for that?"

"I have silver hair and I carry a sword," Miryhn said, monotone.

Vera giggled. "Now I know you're making it up."

"I'm dead serious!" Miryhn cried out.

"Keep it down, I'm trying to watch Nash get his ass fucked up in this TV show," Jim said, shaking his hand in the air at them.

"Now, you all know the rules. Cross the finish line and you get to keep going. Alright, ready set go!" the announcer shouted. The camera showed several contestants dashing towards their respective obstacles courses. One team went to one, which was incredibly easy, and the other team went to the obstacle course with all the incredibly dangerous obstacles. Popular opinion was often accusational about how Martians got the easy course and Earthers got the hard course, but no one really cared as long as someone got hurt.

"Now where is-" Jim began to say.

"Uh-oh, looks like someone from Team One has accidently gone down the wrong path and is heading towards the Terran...I mean, Team Two's obstacle course. He's a scrawny bloke with red hair and he looks completely lost and a little pissed off," the announcer said.

"Hey, look, there he is!" Jim cried out, pointing to the screen as Nash was clobbered by a styrofoam boulder.

"The guy was a complete dickhead. He kept talking about weird shit that I'm sure only he understood, acting like he was devoid of reality, and just plain being impassive to what's going on around him. He also destroyed more stuff than he did damage me and he was about to kill someone if not for our sheer luck of not being around the general public. I swear, if he really did injure someone other than me, both of us would be in deep shit," Miryhn said, tapping his fingers on the table.

Vera and Jim looked at one another.

"I don't know what his problem is, but he's a real nuisance. I'm going to go tear him a new one," Miryhn said angrily as he punched his right fist into his left palm.

"Is that really why you're so mad?" Vera asked, putting away the first air kit.

"What else could it be?"

"No wonder you hate him so much, he's just like you!" Jim said with a gruff laugh as Nash scrambled out of the alligator pit after he pathetically fell off the swinging rope over the pit.

Miryhn was momentarily stunned. "He is not!"

"I think Jim's right," Vera said, smiling and laughing.

"Bah, you're both against me!" Miryhn shouted, grabbing his canned soda and taking a long swig of it.

"So what are you going to do about it?" Judas said as he walked into the lounge with a tray full of snacks, setting it beside Jim.

"I'm going to go and settle this. No one makes a fool out of me like that and gets away with it," Miryhn said, grabbing his sword and standing up.

"So soon?" Vera asked, surprised.

"No, he said to wait three hours. I'll kill time by going on a little errand," Miryhn said, smirking.

Vera looked worried, Judas looked curious.

"What kind of errand? I'll go too, just to make sure he isn't an assassin out to kill you," Judas said, smiling.

"I'd rather you not go. I'm going to go pick up one of those Japanese robes or whatever and I'm going to go piss him off too," Miryhn said, laughing at his own private joke.

Vera glared, Judas looked confused, and Jim was too busy laughing his ass off at Nash as he ran as fast as he could through the spiked walls.

"For the love of God, someone help me!" Nash screamed as loud as he could.

"Looks like that Martia...I mean, Team Two member sure made a bad mistake doing what the Terra...I mean, Team One people are doing," the announcer said with a chuckle.

"And why not?" Judas asked, saddened.

Miryhn sighed. "Look, if you go with me while I'm trying to buy clothes, people might think that I...have alternative preferences," he tried to explain.

Judas gave him a blank stare.

Miryhn sighed. "Alright, they might think I 'swing' 'that way'," he said, trying harder to explain.

Judas cocked his head to the side a bit, still not catching on.

"Nevermind, just don't come, okay? You'd be a cramp on my style," Miryhn said, hurrying out the door.

"What did he mean?" Judas asked, clueless and looking at Vera.

"Weirdo," Vera said, rolling her eyes and resuming her seat on the couch.

"Ha! Aren't we all? Welcome to the crew," Jim said, laughing even harder as Nash screamed in terror at "Biodome".

"How could anyone think this is funny?" Nash screamed, maddened almost instantly. He let out another strained scream and collapsed.

"Well, that eliminates that guy who took the wrong turn earlier on. Better luck next time!" the announcer said. "We'll be back after a quick commercial."

<CENTER>-----------------------------</CENTE R>

Somewhere, out in space, somewhere near the outside edge of the Asteroid Belt, a ship was drifting lifelessly. Inside, several young men were gathered around computer screens, watching as billions of dollars of stolen music files were being downloaded to their computers. They'd then take these stolen files and sell them on Mars after they landed, software not being considered "illegal contraband" by the port authorities.

Just then, a large carrier approached on radar, several Phantoma 2's being launched off the sides and being sent at the small pirate ship. Inside, everyone was abuzz.

"Holy shit! It's the ASSHOLES! THe R.I.A.S.S. found us!" one of them shouted.

"How many ASSHOLES are coming?" another demanded to know.

"It's hard to tell. I can't possibly count at this range, but they're coming in fast!" the first one shouted, sounding the red alert. The ship attempted to fire its thrusters and make a getaway, but the lead Phantoma 2 shot a disruption flare, halting the ship's entire electrical system. Everything shut down and they were left in the dark.

"Oh, God, I can't die like this, not to one of the ASSHOLES," one said, hyperventilating as he fumbled around for a flashlight.

"The ASSHOLES are approaching! Prepare to be boarded!" another cried out.

There was an explosion and within a few seconds, several men in heavy body armor charged into the room with guns blazing. A handful were cut down instantly with in a quick bloodbath, the others attempting to return fire. One of the ASSHOLES in the back took out a large grenade launcher and began firing rounds behind the cover the pirates were taking. Within only a few moments, most of the crew were eliminated in the blood-raining explosions.

"Go to hell, you ASSHOLES!" a straggler shouted, tossing a grenade.

One of the ASSHOLES bravely ran forward and punted it back at him, exploding in the pirate's face. "We're the ones making demands here! We're ASSHOLES and we can screw anyone over that we want as long as we get our point across!"

"No, please, stop! We swear we were going to buy each and every one of those albums! We swear to God!" another one of the pirate pleaded, going into the open.

"Swearing is considered offensive material. Looks like you need a parental warning, bitch!" one of the ASSHOLES shouted, raising his assault rifle.

"We were only sampling some of the tracks! We weren't going to record the entire things to disc or anything! Honest!" the pirate pleaded.

"Good thing you never did get around to burning, because we were going to do it for you!" an ASSHOLE shouted, brandishing a flame thrower and igniting the pirate.

With that, the entire crew of the ship was brutally slaughtered.

"Nobody's illegally downloading music ever again, not as long as us ASSHOLES exist!" one of the soldiers shouted, the others giving an encouraging shout of approval. "We're not just enforces of what's good and right, we're ASSHOLES!" he shouted again, the small band of soldiers cheering as they departed the ship.

As soon as the ASSHOLES left the ship, they planted several mines on it and exploded the entire thing, just to be assholes about it. With another successful operation complete, the ASSHOLES returned to their ship, ready to eliminate anyone else who even dared think about doing anything illegal in the music industry with extreme prejudice and overkill. **

<CENTER>-----------------------------</CENTE R>

Miryhn walked into the Tharsis Cherry Blossom Garden, his normal attire replaced by a long black robe with a yin-yang on the back. He thought it was strangely fitting and decided on it earlier when he went out. As expected, Musashi wasn't anywhere to be found; so Miryhn proceeded to the wide square brick platform in the middle of the Garden.

"So you decided to come after all, huh?" Musashi's voice said from the thick of the cherry blossom trees all around.

"Yeah, I had to pay you back for making me miss my high score name entry, right?" Miryhn said, smirking and reacing for his sword at his left side under his robe sash.

"That's your problem, no wonder you're evil," Musashi said, chuckling with no body visible to match the voice.

"I'm not evil!" Miryhn shouted.

"Of course you are! You think first and foremost of yourself," Musashi's voice said, one of his cheesey smiles imaginable by the tone of his voice.

"So what? That doesn't automatically make me bad," Miryhn replied, sneering.

"Maybe, and maybe not. I might have been wrong about you, but seem to be gradually subcoming to the forces of good. Your soul isn't as tarnished with hate as it was before. You're well on your way to salvation," Musashi explained.

"And you're well on your way to an ass beating. Come out!" Miryhn demanded.

"Fine," Musashi said with a sigh. Just then, Musashi leapt down from above, attempting a flying downward slash.

Miryhn looked up and leapt back, drawing his sword in the process. The two of them ran at each other and met swords, holding a block.

"What the hell would you know about my soul?" Miryhn said, cringing as he tried to push Musashi off.

"I don't know, I just feel these things. And I can sense that a great calm is coming to you, something that will settle the turbulent tempest that ravages in the back of your mind," Musashi said, adding a note of melodrama.

Miryhn grumbled and mustered the strength to push Musashi back; he then ran forward and swung twice more, Musashi successfully parrying.

"I'll tell you this much, bud, I'm not evil," Miryhn said, taking a step back.

"No, but you might just be hateful. Spite and anger do nothing for you except lead you to self-destruction, like a demon consuming your soul, no?" Musashi said, then stabbing at Miryhn three times in rapid succession.

Miryhn hesitated for a moment at this comment, it matching his own metaphor for his "three souls". Musashi's first stab knicked his sleeve, making Miryhn come to his senses and dodged the next two stabs.

"Defeat your regrets and live on! Fight for what you really believe in, not for what darkness draws you to!" Musashi shouted, swinging and holding another block with Miryhn.

"If that's all you wanted to tell me, I don't really care anymore about this stupid duel. That much was quite obvious," Miryhn said, struggling as the defense stance he chose wasn't correct and he was loosing his hold.

"What? Really?" Musashi asked, puzzled.

"Well, yeah," Miryhn said, noticing Musashi stopped trying and let his attack go limp. He shrugged, smirking.

"Then perhaps I was wrong, you really aren't such a bad villian. Perhaps someday you may switch to the good side and become one of the main cast!" Musashi said, stepping away and sheathing his sword.

"Wait, what? That's it? All you wanted me to do was come here so you could lecture me and allude to anime again?" Miryhn said, aggrivated as he stood up normally.

"I was wrong about you. You have a chance now to save yourself, someone must really care about you a lot or something. I can't really say the same for myself, I decided to keep deluding myself instead of accepting what I was and just being it," Musashi said, shrugging.

Miryhn scratched his head.

"I'll let you go just this once, but never forget that your sword is an extension of your very soul. Swing it with full knowledge of the consequences that follow and use it only for the benefit of yourself and others," Musashi said, smiling.

"Duh?" Miryhn said, raising an eyebrow.

"I hope the next time we meet, you will be a much stronger person in body and soul. You already possess something that gives you great fortitude, and I believe that's an unbending will. I also hope we meet on more friendly terms," Musashi said, his horse being mysteriously summoned out of nowhere. He hopped on and began to trot around.

"Dude, how do you keep calling that thing out of nowhere? Please, tell me," Miryhn demanded to know, completely baffled.

"You have a heart of a warrior and a soul of a mighty force, villian, you could be called, in my terms, a fellow samurai. I'm confident that someday, when everything truly matters and it's threatened, you'll come through and see just what was meant for you all along," Musashi said, then waving. "Oh, but before I go, please, tell me your name."

"Miryhn," Miryhn said in monotone.

"Too....weird. Don't you have a nickname or an alias or something?" Musashi said, smirking.

Miryhn thought for a moment. "Fine, try 'Ekibyougami'," he said, still aggrivated.

"Holy crap, that's such a cool name! Did you just pick it out because it sounds cool like I do? That's how I named myself, my horse, and my sword style!" Musashi said, instantly excited. "Man, do you use that at cons and stuff or on anime forums?"

Miryhn sighed and sheathed his sword. "Goodbye, good riddance," he said, turning to leave.

"Hey, but-" Musashi began to say. "Farewell, Ekibyougami, may your travels from now on be rich with bounty and good fortune! Hi-ho, Oribako!***** Away!" he shouted, his horse riding off into the sunset.

"As much as I hate to admit it, he kind of made sense," Miryhn mumbled to himself, folding his arms as he walked away to leave. He paused and thought about it. "Nah, he didn't. That's way too obvious," he said, shaking his head.

Cherry blossoms blowed around as the two parted ways, another tradgic tale of two samurais in an age where honor is no value.

....or maybe not...

<CENTER>-----------------------------</CENTE R>

Miryhn came back late, stopping at the arcade to reclaim his second place high score and then going to Chick-fil-a for dinner. Walking into the lounge with his drink cup in hand, he saw Vera giggling as she watched some late-night anime.

"Sorry I'm home late, sis," Miryhn said, teasing.

"Shut up, I'm missing the best part of this show," Vera said, not looking away from the TV screen.

"What the hell is this?" Miryhn said, sitting on the couch.

"Inu-something. I forget exactly. It's pretty cute, very funny too," Vera replied.

"Where's the others?" Miryhn asked, then taking a sip of his drink.

"Jim's off paying Nash's hospital bills-" Vera began to say.

Miryhn's glare cut her off.

"Don't ask," she said, rolling her eyes. "And Judas is playing chess with himself on the kitchen table."

"Yep, just another normal day on Entropy, eh? Damn, we're such weirdos," Miryhn said, shaking his head.

"It's a lot more interesting to have weird normal days than to have...nevermind, I'm confusing myself. Just watch the damn show," Vera said, sighing and going back to the TV.

"Sounds good to me," Miryhn replied, laying his sword across his shoulder and taking another gulp of his soda.

<CENTER>-----------------------------</CENTE R>

Norris Contraus stood in his office, a powerful overtune playing through his sound system with choirs accompanying the thunderous brass section. Outside, the rain was beginning to pick up, lighting crashing alongside the music as he sipped his glass of wine.

"Sir, I'd recommend that we look into this matter as soon as possible. Ever since you finished that Orbital Frame, you've been neglecting your job. I can't make this kind of decision from my position," Lamar said, waving a folder around.

"Something is coming, Lamar. Something big," Norris said with a smirk, facing his windows.

"What's coming is this company's downfall unless you stop screwing around and do your job, sir!" Lamar outburst.

Norris shot around, turning on his heel. He gave Lamar a stern look.

"No, that won't work on me anymore, sir! I can't work for this company if all you're going to do is make all of us loose our jobs when this whole thing goes under! I don't suppose you have some big, long agenda planned and this is just downtime in the middle is it? I can't understand why you just won't be a fucking businessman like you were hired to be!" Lamar shouted, hot with anger.

"Lamar, you surprise me! Don't you trust me?" Norris said, smirking and sipping his wine.

Lamar sneered and looked to the side. "I'm running out of that,sir."

"Well, then you can have it all back, alright? I'm still a businessman, why do you think I'm wearing this goofy suit and standing in this office for?" Norris said, laughing.

Lamar was pushing it; remembering the men Norris had murdered in the past within the building, he swallowed his pride and sighed, placing the folder on the desk. "Alright, forget I said anything, sir. It's just...this is a major multi-billion credit investment. Please, look into it soon."

"Lamar, you're stressed out. You need a vacation, you know that?" Norris said, smiling at Lamar as he sat in his seat and placed his glass to the side. He opened the folder and began reading through it.

"I'll take some time off after you're done with that, sir. I have to go now," Lamar said, then shuffled out the door.

Norris looked up from the folder and furrowed his lip, tapping his index finger on the folder a few times. "Me? A businessman? Like hell," he said with a chuckle. "A storm is brewing, Lamar, and I'm going to have to struggle through it, with or without you," he said to himself. "Doesn't matter if you're there, Ehecatl always is anyway, and will be for the rest of our existence," he said, tossing the folder on the desk and going back to the window to stare and lie in wait for whatever was coming for him.

<CENTER>-----------------------------</CENTE R>

* Tonchiki, Japanese for "numbskull/dimwit/idiot".

** I stand on neither side in the RIAA vs. Kazaa users debate; this is merely an exaggerated parody of the conflict.

*** Literally translates to "sword dance of the foolish watermelon". This makes no sense and the wording is probably off, but Musashi is a demented otaku and it shows in how he just grabs "cool Japanese words" and pieces them together. Kids, don't try that at home.

**** Iseika, Japanese for "politician".

***** Oribako, Japanese for "cardboard box". @_@

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