| "Not the Last Time" Reviews/Comments [ 19 ] |
| Pages (2): [ « ‹ 1 2 ] |
Reviewed By: JadeWriter [MediaMiner Member] On: July 23, 2005 02:44 PDT
Comment/Review:
Wow. That's all I said after I read this. Wow. Great job with this one. Now, I also giggled at some things. Like the doughnut comment, and the "Yamcha creature" part, lol. Great story. ^_^
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Reviewed By: VegetasBabysMama [MediaMiner Member] On: July 22, 2005 16:09 PDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
LOL! When you're about to get ravished by The Saiyan Badass, it's best to keep your mouth shut! But then again, I can understand why Bulma would want to keep talking. She wanted to elicit a response out of him, and when you're about to get f***** of course you can't think straight! So it accidentally slipped, can't blame her. Haha. It's a great read. There are things that made me think, like Vegeta being a frantic lover when depressed and not so uh frantic when he's not. I thought it was the other way around, but when you think about it, it makes sense. It almost made me cry in the end too. That was heart-wrenching and beautiful at the same time.
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Reviewed By: Gohans_Onna (not signed in) On: July 14, 2005 19:50 PDT
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Great! I loved it, it wsa so cute. I read the whole string of messages at the salon, it was so funny. Oh yeah, I think I found an error, I know that you like to fix everything: She was the only one who knew him like this, the only one who would ever see (THE?) Prince of Saiyans postured in such humility. He needed her. He adored her. He said he would never disappoint her. Just wondering if you wanted the "the" there. Other than that, excellent!
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Reviewed By: MelizaMac [MediaMiner Member] On: July 11, 2005 19:38 PDT
Comment/Review:
Well, it's Bulma's own fault, after all. She just couldn't let it go. Had to keep pestering poor Vegeta. I loved his comment about saving the applause for afterward. :) Isn't it funny how such a virile, powerful man can be so fragile? I think this is another one of your brilliant works that blend in with the anime. After all, when Majin Vegeta admitted his reasoning for giving in to Babadi, those feelings hadn't developed overnight. Carrying his jealousy of Kakkarot into the bedroom was bound to happen eventually. Hooking up with a blabbermouth just sped up the process! :D And true to Vegeta's promise, the lemon did not disappoint.
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Reviewed By: chidogs [MediaMiner Member] On: July 10, 2005 20:01 PDT
Comment/Review:
I thoroughly enjoyed that. Vegeta is complex so it would have to be something really complicated to slow him down. It made perfect sense that any mention of Goku would mess with his mind, for many reasons. Amusing and touching at the same time. Good job.
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Reviewed By: Love of Vegeta (not signed in) On: July 10, 2005 12:32 PDT
Comment/Review:
Just read AltairKaosu's review... "yamacha creature"?? I missed that OMG hahahaha
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Title: LMFAO
Reviewed By: Love of Vegeta (not signed in) On: July 10, 2005 12:28 PDT
Comment/Review:
I'm torn between laughing at that extremely awkward situation, blushing at that explicit little scene, and hugging a pillow after reading that last sentence lol Really imaginative piece of work. I laughed hard when Bulma admitted having fantasies about Goku! OMG Vegeta's reaction.. hahaha.. I'll be smiling everytime I think about the popular pair lol
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Reviewed By: Pyper On: July 10, 2005 11:40 PDT
Comment/Review:
Well written as always, but I think this one could be tightened up. The dialogue meanders for a while, lessening the emotional impact of the central conflict. The point you are trying to make about Vegeta's emotional state feels fuzzy. The story needs a little selective trimming.
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Reviewed By: rose of vegetasei On: July 10, 2005 06:54 PDT
Comment/Review:
What a powerful one-shot. At first I thought Vegeta was upset over hre fantasies of Goku but then I come to realize was that he was reminded of him and what he wouldn't have a chance to accomplish (well I'm sure there was some lingering jealousy towards Bulma's confessions). The only thing I didn't like was when you used "Mama" and "Papa". I think those terms would have been better if the fic was a 1st person POV from Bulma but this was in third person and it just didn't seem right to use such informal terms if it wasn't being said by Bulma or being related from Bulma, you know what I mean? Other than that this was a great fic.
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Reviewed By: mischief maker [MediaMiner Member] On: July 09, 2005 19:57 PDT
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Oh, Deb this was great. I can just imagine how the mention of Goku could cause erectile problems! *laughs* Loved the interaction between them. The donut comment killed me. ^__^
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Reviewed By: Dragon Sparks On: July 09, 2005 14:37 PDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
God, Vegeta is so cute in this story! What a great one-shot!
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Reviewed By: Jess *not in* On: July 09, 2005 13:10 PDT
Comment/Review:
I liked that oneshot... I liked the interaction between bulma and vegeta and the relationship that you showed. I like how you saw they're emotions and how a situation like that would affect them... very good job
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Reviewed By: Elenek [MediaMiner Member] On: July 09, 2005 11:07 PDT
Comment/Review:
It's very good. I liked the interplay of emotion. I also liked how you described Vegeta's depression, allowing him to be both sad and strong at the same time. I also liked seeing Bulma at a loss for what to do or say for a chamge. Sometimes she is so smart and know it allish that we tend to forget that she still as human as the rest of us.
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Reviewed By: AltairKaosu [MediaMiner Member] On: July 09, 2005 09:43 PDT
Comment/Review:
I really like how this is written. You portray Vegeta as vulnerable without turning him into a huge steaming pile of Saiyanmush. Great job on that. I also liked how he referenced Yamcha: "that Yamcha creature". It made me giggle. Fantastic work overall.
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Reviewed By: Subu [MediaMiner Member] On: July 09, 2005 09:26 PDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Whoa. that was the first word I said after I read this. I never have read a good story that portrated his vunerable side so good. you really are a talented writer.
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