| "Witness" Reviews/Comments [ 90 ] |
| Pages (6): [ « ‹ 1 2 3 4 5 6 › » ] |
Title: Great end
Reviewed By: Zero [MediaMiner Member] On: March 27, 2006 08:11 PST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 8 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
Great end my friend however I was hoping for an all out orgie at the end ya know something like Shinji brings back all the main females Maya, Rits, and Hikari included and just go nuts with em ya know. ^_^ Anyways nice job look foward to your next project.
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Title: Good ending
Reviewed By: abarr2951 On: March 26, 2006 21:17 PST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Good ending. You made it very "Eva like" but still enjoyable. Kudos to you man.
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Reviewed By: Sideris [MediaMiner Member] On: March 26, 2006 18:25 PST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 8 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 8 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
What can I say? I loved it. All of it. What a wonderful ride into the mind and depths of the whirlwind that is life. My hat is off to you sir. Dies irae indeed.
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Reviewed By: MitoFreak On: March 26, 2006 17:05 PST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
A great and well written story, but man do I feel empty.
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Reviewed By: Rahhel [MediaMiner Member] On: March 26, 2006 10:39 PST
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Even though I'm a little bit dissappointed of this end this is regardless a great story. Took U long enough to write this. Hope U will write a new Eva-fic in the near future.
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Reviewed By: Lord_Raa [MediaMiner Member] On: March 26, 2006 03:53 PST
Comment/Review:
This was a very good, very dark take on Eva. I like it a lot and I look forward to your next project.
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Title: Very Cold
Reviewed By: Ickabod On: March 25, 2006 21:42 PST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 7 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Your words paint such a vivid picture of what is happening to Shinji. I think what sets your story apart from all the other Shinji rape/violence stories is that you included the sexual acts and twisted them to truly show the pain and suffering Shinji is going through. Your piece has some truly terrible sequences but at the same time you take great care in showing why this has to happen and at the same time you leave the reader wondering willit get worse for Shinji. Your story really shows what humans can do to each other. I look forward to seeing how the story will end.
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Title: Dark, so very dark
Reviewed By: sedemihcrA [MediaMiner Member] On: March 21, 2006 08:51 PST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Good lord. That was incredibly dark. I really love this story but I swear to god, if you don't write a fic with a happy ending soon I'm going to cry. Seriously, this is beautiful in its intensity but I need a breather of happy thoughts every now and then. Once again you do incredible job with the more cerebral representations of your character. I think I've already mentioned how well you work when getting into characters' heads. It works with your narrative and style quite well. The look into Ritsuko's head was both genuine and creepy. I mean not only is that just a totally fucked up way of looking at the world but it's also a total justification of what she did. Very pathetic and at the same time very human. I also really enjoyed the scene where Kaworu is by Shinji's bedside. It gives the story some much needed hope (or it did for me any way). We see Kaworu as a much more compassionate being even if he is out for himself more or less. I like how you've portrayed him like that. I miss your dives into Asuka for this chapter. They always seemed very authentic but we only got a little bit this time. I think, however, her analysis was very intelligent which is something a lot of writers tend to miss with her; Asuka, when not flaunting her emotions around is a child prodigy and a genius. She may have her issues but that doesn't stop her from being unusually smart. One part I completely did not understand was the last footage she was watching of Unit-01 essentially disemboweling itself. When did this happen? Am I forgetting something cause I totally missed this detail before. It seems like this might be right after the last Angel attacked but I can't recall any mention of it in the last chapter. Anyways I thought this was really confusing and a little too unclear. Might wanna make it a little bit more explicit what was actually happening there. I caught one missed apostrophe but otherwise nothing else got my attention. I think I agree with your portrayal of Ritsuko in this. She seems true enough to the series that this could be possible and yet just a little more dark and twisted for your means. I think, in the series at least, Ritsuko was really just as much a sucker for attention as Shinji was , not quite as ugly a human being as you paint here. Nonetheless, well done. If you give me a happy ending I may just have to write a longer crit next time! ;) Keep up the stellar work.
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Reviewed By: Hoppy-san On: March 19, 2006 23:52 PST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 8 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
You updated! And I didn't notice until now...>< I've definately become a fan of this story. At first I wasn't sure if I liked it or not, but your writing style and characterization won me over. Also, that Asuka's portrayed as, well, Asuka. Not some horribly out of character brat that seems to be in an increasing number of Eva fics these days. I can't wait for the conclusion, though I'll be rather sad that it's over. Now, you mentioned sex, but you never said who. I hope it's Shinji/Asuka, though one can never be sure. And now that it's 2:51 am, I need sleep. Good morning.
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Reviewed By: the Lone Haranguer On: March 15, 2006 08:31 PST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 8 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 8 of 10
Overall Rating: 8 of 10 Comment/Review:
I'm still reading this, and I'm still very impressed. What you are writing here is not always palatable, but it is powerful, and compelling. I always thought of Ritsuko as being more likely to be a closet masochist--after all, she sleeps with Gendo Ikari, and it's impossible for me to imagine him being anything but humorless and demanding in the bedroom. But you make a compelling case. You also made an acquaintance of mine who read this story cry. I find myself more and more saddened for everyone involved. I even feel sorry for poor, screwed-up Ritsuko, even as bitter and villainous as you've made her here. I will be waiting for the end of the story, wondering if anyone will find redemption.
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Title: Excellent piece of Work!
Reviewed By: Cold Demon Lord On: March 14, 2006 13:30 PST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 8 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 8 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 7 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 7 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
Depressing, dark, disgusting, everything that Eva is. Perfect, I read random fic and Mercaba fic but your's seems much more darker. Hideki Anno would be proud. I hope to see you continue writing entertaining and horrofic fic's. Good Luck and Good Writing. Cold Demon Lord.
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Title: killer fic
Reviewed By: ????? On: March 12, 2006 16:36 PST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
thsi is the best fan fic i have ever read on this site ever since i have been reading here and i hope you continue to keep making chapters ( htis could be a book ) but im really looking forward to reading chapter 7, spelling was good and the style of writing and orginality was excelent and if i could i would give the enjoyment factor higher than a ten and the overall rating as well and i hope u continue to write great fics like this later on in the future
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Reviewed By: Font On: March 10, 2006 23:53 PST
Comment/Review:
Sex in the next chapter? There better be! And it better involve Shinji and Asuka! *Shakes fist* Also, exactly how much of this was inspired by 'Someone else's doll'? And another thing, to quote the author's note in chapter 4 "the finale, chapter seven, is finished, waiting impatiently on my hard drive" So where is it, hmmm?!
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Reviewed By: MitoFreak On: March 08, 2006 12:32 PST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 8 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
As mentioned by many others this is a truly great story. This last chapter definitly moved the plot forward, but I actually found it less interesting than the previous chapters. I was really hoping you would find a way for Shinji and Asuka to have some time together to get some things resoved between them before the climax. Whats with this "Third Children" reference, your grammer is usually very good, so I'm wondering how you messed up with that. There is only one Shinji, the Third Child, not third children.
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Title: Chapter 6
Reviewed By: WarpWizard [MediaMiner Member] On: March 07, 2006 12:19 PST
Comment/Review:
Good chapter. I liked Ritsuko's introspection. I could believe it and it made sense to me. Error check: "He let a small portion of his emphatic heart out to greet his father, and did not meet who he was expecting." Might you have meant "empathic heart"? "And yes, there is sex next chapter." Contrast this with: "But with Shinji on the cusp of death, Rei half dead, and everyone else an emotional wreck…" I'm a scared. ;_;
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