Title: FFARG Review
Reviewed By: Yuugi-chan [MediaMiner Member] On: March 18, 2006 20:47 CST
Comment/Review:
First off, I want to say that you have a good grasp on humor (crude or otherwise), but this story lacks detail to bring it out. This story also made little to no sense whatsoever. Despite being a parody, it was devoid of a plot as far as I could tell, and switching back and forth from script format to story format was quite confusing. The "commercial breaks" also added more unnecessary confusion and they constantly drew me out of the story. You also need to say who is speaking and not have the reader just assume. While I know about the series quite well, some of your readers may not. You also have some punctuation issues in dialogue and when you were in story format, your sentences had very little flow and were rather choppy. But as I said before, you have a good grasp on humor, it just needs to be developed more. I really enjoyed Team Rocket in art class. It created a very hysterical picture in my head. Thank you for submitting to the FFARG and I hope you continue to do so.
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