"This Modern Love" Reviews/Comments [ 53 ] |
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Reviewed By: Kawaii Girl [MediaMiner Member] On: January 18, 2006 16:54 CST Rating(s):Style of Writing: 6 of 10 Spelling & Grammar: 8 of 10 Originality/Creativity: 5 of 10 Enjoyment Factor: 6 of 10 Overall Rating: 7 of 10 Comment/Review: I like the general idea of this story. Unfortunately, I think, the thoughts of the demon Kagome has in her head takes away from this chapter. Nothing the voice says makes sense. It's just rambling. Like… disconnected thoughts. Well, exactly like disconnected thought since we don't know (even if we can assume) what's provoking them. Other than that? The spelling and grammar in this chapter is pretty good (though you could fix some of that too), but you do add on unneeded infronation. And you repeat yourself. A lot. (i.e.: "Every arrow hit its target straight on, and no arrows had gone astray." (you then repeat the idea that Kagome doesn't need to aim two paragraphs down) and "A clear path was straight in front of her, Naraku at the end. He hadn't noticed yet; Kagome had a clear path to shoot."). I've seen it in your other stories too. 'Every arrow hit its target.' and '… The opening Kagome had been waiting for had been given to her. Inuyasha had just used the wind scar to create a path to Naraku in front of her.' - or something to that effect - is FINE. There is nothing wrong with being short and concise. Actually, clarifying the idea multiple times makes it seem like you're dumbing the story down for us. But one question. If Kagome shot the arrow at Naraku and it had to 'soar past' everyone to get to him, how did she just reach out and take his shards away? Well, my point is, this story is good. It has potential. You just need to get a beta or proof read it yourself. ...I just hope the next chapter is better... ~Animefreak242 aka Kawaii Girl
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Reviewed By: bancomat [MediaMiner Member] On: January 14, 2006 05:22 CST Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10 Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10 Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10 Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10 Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review: simply love it and i'm a succer for kags-kurama pairings. keep up the good work!
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Reviewed By: bancomat [MediaMiner Member] On: January 14, 2006 05:22 CST Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10 Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10 Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10 Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10 Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review: simply love it and i'm a succer for kags-kurama pairings. keep up the good work!
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Reviewed By: Hoku-chan On: January 11, 2006 23:48 CST Rating(s):Style of Writing: 8 of 10 Spelling & Grammar: 8 of 10 Originality/Creativity: 8 of 10 Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10 Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review: HAHAHAHAH! Ohhhh my goodness, this chapter got me laughing...please update soon!
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Title: Whoooo....... Reviewed By: Setolover2 On: January 11, 2006 21:23 CST Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10 Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10 Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10 Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10 Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review: CONTINUE DAMN U! PLZZZZZ.............For god sake...plz continue or i'll cry a 1000 tears. :crys: plz continue for shippou sake....
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Title: haha please update Reviewed By: going-SuperNova [MediaMiner Member] On: January 11, 2006 16:01 CST Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10 Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10 Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10 Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10 Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review: please update soon that is funny poor kagome though she is in a towel and there are guys around her will her power act up and send the people flying hehe and she NEEDS to get some clothes on hahaha that is pretty funny though i think that she should have a spell or somehting and is sesshomaru going to be in the next chapter? that would be very funny and i would die laughing if he is and i think that if he is she should yell a yusuke and sesshomaru and i think that kagome should see inuyasha and the shikon should dome thing or somehting happens cauz i love this story i really think that you should update soon please
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Reviewed By: bancomat [MediaMiner Member] On: January 06, 2006 05:24 CST Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10 Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10 Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10 Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review: love it and it's fun. a kags/kurama pairing is perfect. if it's not too late, i say kags should be a demon.
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Title: reeeeaaally awwwesome fic! Reviewed By: Mikyo [MediaMiner Member] On: January 04, 2006 22:39 CST Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10 Spelling & Grammar: 6 of 10 Originality/Creativity: 8 of 10 Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10 Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review: I love this fic.in most of the other Kurama/Kagome, Hiei/Kagome, Yusuke/Kagome fanfics kagome was the one who sensed their powers, instead of one of the guys sensing her powers... or whatever. And I like that kagome had her hair highlighted. one of the best fics ever! please continue the fic
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Title: wow Reviewed By: foreverinuyasha On: December 31, 2005 13:04 CST Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10 Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10 Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10 Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10 Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review: i love this story and i hope you could continue it because it's really interesting and i was sad when inuyasha died it was like a knife in the heart but anyway please continue it i really want to read the rest of the story.!!! :P
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Title: The Vote Reviewed By: AnimeFox1940 [MediaMiner Member] On: December 29, 2005 19:31 CST Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review: Sorry forgot to vote! I don't really care much if you make Kagome a demon or Human. It's fine by me! Just as long as you update. But if i had to anwser, i think I would like seeing Kagome be a demon. And if she were a demon, i would like it if she were either Kitsune demon, or an Inu. Ps: Like i said earlier, YOUR STORY ROCKS! Keep writing please!
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Title: Wow! Reviewed By: AnimeFox1940 [MediaMiner Member] On: December 29, 2005 19:25 CST Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review: Your...Story...ROCKS! I love it! I was grounded today for going over my limit by reading it. That's true devotion! ^-^ Please, please, PLEASE update soon! I'll be waiting!!
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Reviewed By: Yami_no_Marina [MediaMiner Member] On: December 28, 2005 20:47 CST Comment/Review: I think that Kagome should get Inuyasha's power. That would make a whole lot more sense - let's face it, no matter how strong her miko powers are, they don't make her immune to an arrow through her throat, whereas Inuyasha's been run through by more sharp and pointy objects than can be counted and lived to tell the tale. Also, although you've already had several reviews stating this, I'd like to repeat it. Why does Kagome have electric blue eyes? Is it because she's now something more than human, because of Inuyasha's wish? Anyway, please update quickly! I can't wait to see what happens next!
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Reviewed By: Dark Angel Leigh [MediaMiner Member] On: December 27, 2005 13:58 CST Comment/Review: great chapter keep up the good work and for your question i would keep reading no matter what kagome is because its to good to stop reading in my opinion
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Reviewed By: Youka-chan(not logged on) On: December 27, 2005 13:28 CST Rating(s):Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review: Great! I really like it. To your questions in the very begining of the story. No to both. I'd contiunue to read it if you did or did not change her.
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Reviewed By: deathsangel4729 [MediaMiner Member] On: December 27, 2005 09:56 CST Comment/Review: Ok, I've ogt an question of my own. Why would I stop reading a wonderful story just because someone stays human or not? Its your choice and if you decide to keep her human or change her into a demon thats fine with me. Please update soon, I can't wait untill the next chapter!!! ~DA
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